Author: Ljfair

I am passionate about pursuing a relationship with Jesus Christ. To that end, I want to share my journey in learning more about prayer. I am a former teacher and librarian. I love to read, write, share awful puns with friends, and share the joy that comes from trusting my loving Savior.

Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself

When I taught public speaking in a local public high school several years ago, we had an entire unit on “stage fright.” Studies showed that the fear of public speaking ranked right alongside the fear of death! But why? Why are we afraid to speak in front of a group? Especially a group of our peers?

It turns out that stage fright has two perfectly logical and definable causes: first is the desire to do well/be successful/be understood, appreciated, and accepted. But this natural desire collides with the realistic possibility that we will make a mistake, or that something will happen to keep us from being understood (like a problem with microphones, or interruptions), or that our message will not be accepted or appreciated. Neither of these thoughts, individually, is unreasonable. But the more we exaggerate them, the less our brain can process the duality. We cannot guarantee that all will go perfectly, nor can we assume that all will go horribly wrong. But the more we worry about all the things that MIGHT go wrong, the more we create stress. Ironically, the stress and fear we generate often leads to mistakes we otherwise might NOT have made!

Part of combating fear, then, is to acknowledge that we want to do well– our best, in fact– in spite of whatever circumstances we might face. Instead of exaggerating what MIGHT go wrong, we must put more energy into what we can control, practice, and mitigate. We also have to stay realistic about what we are likely to achieve in our efforts. This is especially true in a situation where we face an unknown or potentially hostile audience. Our goal is to do the best we can with what we have, not worry about achieving the impossible or controlling what is beyond our ability to control.

I was thinking about this recently as I watched several political candidates in debates, town halls, interviews, and even in their TV ads. Many of them show fear, and even a bit of panic over questions from interviewers, reactions from audiences, and attacks from their opponents. It can be nerve-wracking to face “gotcha” questions from an interviewer– questions that ask you to defend or explain things you said years ago or actions you took under different circumstances. But it can also be an opportunity to clarify a position, show growth and how to learn from past mistakes, or create healthy discussions.

The same holds for Christians who face a hostile or unknown audience for the Gospel. We can be very fearful of sharing the Good News if we allow ourselves to fall into worry and negative thinking. We can face “gotcha” questions from opponents– “Why does a ‘Good’ God allow Evil and suffering in the world?” “Why does God send people to Hell?” “What about good people who die without hearing the Gospel?” “I know you. You’re not perfect. Who are you to judge me?”

But the truth is that God hasn’t asked us to have all the answers to “gotcha” questions. He hasn’t asked us to produce “mic-drop” moments in which we stun our opponents into humiliation. But we ARE to be ready, willing, and able to defend– and let’s be clear about this– OUR hope in the Gospel. It is not our job to force everyone around us to accept a particular doctrine, or set of beliefs. It is not our job to make others change their minds or hearts. It IS our job to testify to the Goodness that God has shown to us– even while acknowledging that we continue to suffer in this life– not to explain away God’s actions or other people’s experiences. We don’t have to be out there winning arguments. We just have to be prepared to Speak UP!

The Apostle Peter seems not to have suffered from “stage fright.” He always spoke out– and sometimes regretted it later! But he gives us this wise advice in his first epistle:

 If with heart and soul you’re doing good, do you think you can be stopped? Even if you suffer for it, you’re still better off. Don’t give the opposition a second thought. Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you’re living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy. Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick. They’ll end up realizing that they’re the ones who need a bath. It’s better to suffer for doing good, if that’s what God wants, than to be punished for doing bad. That’s what Christ did definitively: suffered because of others’ sins, the Righteous One for the unrighteous ones. He went through it all—was put to death and then made alive—to bring us to God. 1 Peter 3:14-18 (The Message)

Peter doesn’t give us a false promise that everyone will like us or accept our message. In fact, he makes it clear that even Jesus was rejected and suffered at the hands of those who heard the truth from His own lips! Our goal is not to force someone else to accept the truth– but to testify to the truth as we know it, understand it, and live it out. We are not the ones who will judge who goes to Heaven or Hell. We are not the ones who wrote the Law. But we speak of these things because we hold them to be eternal, vital truths. Our job is to let Christ speak through us– not just in our words, but in our Christlike attitude and actions.

We don’t have to fear the crowds– though they may pose very real dangers. We don’t have to fear even those who oppose or oppress us. If we are following our Savior, the only thing in this world to fear…is fear itself.

“Lord, today, I ask for a heart of joy and boldness as I prepare to have an answer for those who would question my Faith and Hope in You. Help me to remember how much You love them, even if they are not willing to accept my words or actions. May I speak to them as You would– with unwavering truth, and unwavering compassion. Thank you for the reminder that you have not given me a ‘spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.’ (2 Timothy 1:7 New King James Version) Keep my mind focused on You and immune to fear. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!”

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Praying For Justice

There are a lot of unjust things in this world. And there are a lot of things that seem unjust to us, even when we know they will happen; even when we know they are part of God’s will.

Death seems unjust. So does disease. Poverty seems unjust. Natural disasters seem unjust. Yet they are the just consequence of sin. All have sinned; all must die. Sin causes an imbalance in God’s world– therefore, nature acts in ways that cause disasters and disease. Poverty stems from many sources– greed, laziness, theft– and while some of them may be caused by our own sin, many of the causes stem from the sin of others. And justice is usually beyond our ability to exact.

It is deep in the human heart to cry out for “justice.” But most of the time, we only want what we think is fair or proper from our own outlook. And we want it “NOW!” We want things to be simple and convenient. We want to be justified. We want to be “right” and to be “rewarded” for being so.

Jesus told an interesting parable in the book of Luke. It concerns a widow who was denied justice by a corrupt judge. Even though her case had merit, he would not hear it. He was not interested in giving her justice. But she persisted. She finally annoyed him so much that he gave her what was rightfully hers.

18 And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. 2 He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. 3 And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ 4 For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’” 6 And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge says. 7 And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? 8 I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”
Luke 18: 1-8 (ESV)

Jesus does not mean to imply that God is like the unjust judge. God does not close His ears to our cries for justice; But He also does not see our situation from our point of view. God WILL allow our loved ones to die. He may hear our prayers for temporary healing, but He will not prevent us from all grief or loss. And we may have to live through disease, poverty, and other circumstances that seem unfair or unjust– at least for a while.

Jesus is reminding his disciples (and US!) that God not only hears our prayers, but He cares about our needs, and He hates injustice even more than we do. God will not just act reluctantly to bring about justice for one widow. God will end the sting of death, the corruption of sin, and the need to cry out for justice once and for all. And even in this life, He can and often will give us miraculous answers to our problems with injustice. But there is a caution at the end of this parable. Do we have faith? I don’t mean the kind of faith that hopes and wishes that everyone in a particular situation will “get what is coming to them.” Nor is He talking about a faith that says, “God helps those who help themselves.” Rather, Jesus is talking about a faith that lifts up a situation to Him, knowing that He– and He alone– WILL keep His promises in His time and in His fashion. The kind of faith that can rest secure in knowing that “HE WILL DO IT!”

Are you trusting for justice today? Are you still waiting? Don’t stop praying. But more importantly, don’t stop believing!

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Out of the Same Mouth

5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 

James 3:5-10 NIV via biblegateway.com (emphasis added)

‘We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.’

Epictetus (Greek philosopher)

Have you ever made a tape of you speaking, and played it back to listen to yourself? Or have you had someone remind you of what you said earlier in the day or week? Have you been astonished to hear what came out of your mouth (or how someone else interpreted your words)? James, the brother of Jesus, had much to say about the dangerous power of an untamed tongue. “Fire”, “poison”, “corrupt”, “restless”, “evil”, and “deadly” are harsh words, but we should heed James’ warning.

Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing…
Out of the same mouth come worship and complaining…
Out of the same mouth come encouragement and gossip…
Out of the same mouth come blessings and bitterness…
Out of the same mouth come hymns of heaven and threats of hell…

And it’s not just our mouths, anymore. I see (and have seen it in my own feeds) posts on social media that make me wonder if the person posting is aware of what they posted just minutes or hours before–rants and boasts, complaints and smug condemnation sprinkled with Bible verses about Peace and Love, and pictures of puppies. We copy and paste, write and speak “in the moment” out of the emotions and thoughts that we allow to govern us. And while we may forget our momentary outbursts and random sarcastic comments, others do not. God does not ignore them, either. He can and will forgive them, but He isn’t “fooled” by our gracious cover-ups and flowery quote boxes.

Especially in this election season, it is tempting to let emotions and “righteous” indignation cause us to speak or post in ways that show disrespect, disdain, and even hatred toward neighbors, co-workers, and (yes, possibly) relatives who may vote differently or for different reasons than we do. We hurry to post or “share” clever put-downs or preachy thoughts about what others should “know” or how they should think and act. But would we say such things in person? Do we really mean to hurt others in our quest to be “right” or clever or morally virtuous in the eyes of a few people we barely know?

When I pray today, I need to “listen” to what I’ve been saying lately. Do I need to deal with hidden anger or resentment? Do I need to confess (both to God and to someone else) about gossip? Do I need to reconsider the way I speak about my relationships and my achievements (and failures!)? Do I need to stop following or sharing certain sites or content? Do I need to spend less time talking and posting than listening and praying?

The same mouth that praises God should be speaking life, peace, healing, and hope to those around me. The same mouth that promises to follow Christ, should promise to reach out to those for whom He died. The same mouth that gives thanks for Salvation should be eager to share the Good News.

The tongue is powerful–whether as a weapon or a tool; whether controlled or out of control. God wants to teach us to use it as a tool for good. Not just when we pray, or worship, but every time we use it!

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“Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep…”

When I was still a young child, and a new believer in Christ, I learned this bedtime prayer:


“Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the LORD my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake;
I pray the LORD my soul to take.”

I didn’t use this bedtime prayer every night; my parents taught me to say more personal prayers, whether at bedtime or throughout the day. In fact, I found this prayer to be somewhat morbid– praying about death before lying down for sleep. Still, it was an easy prayer to learn, with its rhyme scheme and easy rhythm.

As an adult, I look at this prayer from a very different perspective. I learned it from books, which had included it from revisions of earlier books, including old Mother Goose rhymes. The prayer (or a version of it) dates back to the 17th century https://www.dailyeffectiveprayer.org/now-i-lay-me-down-to-sleep-prayer/, and I imagine the thought of dying in the night was far more persistent than it is now for most children. This prayer offered comfort, not just about one’s own death, but the sudden death of a baby brother or sister, or the death of a neighbor, or one’s parent. Death, which often came in the night, was not to be feared, because God was bigger than both the night and the grave.

But as a adult, I also appreciate the simple trust that is expressed in such a short prayer. I often find myself at night fretting and praying about details and issues that I have tried to rationalize or “fix” in my own power. This prayer puts things in perspective– I pray the LORD my soul to keep. Basically, I lay everything, including my very soul, into God’s hands. Thus, I CAN “lay me down to sleep,” rather than stay up reciting a litany of little worries about which I can do nothing, or have already done what I could.

“If I should die before I wake…” The older I get, the more this line resonates. Not that I believe I am at death’s door, or anything, but death is less of a “monster under the bed” sort of concept than it was as a child. Death is a reality, and yet I can trust God to “take” my soul, snatching it out of the grave and raising me to eternal life with Him. Not because I know better than I did as a five-year-old, or because I have done “good” things over the past half-century and more– but because God said so in His Word, and I can trust Him to do what He says. Just like I learned to do when I was five!

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Anywhere…

Anywhere! Anywhere!
Fear I cannot know;
Anywhere with Jesus I can safely go!

I was reading in the Psalms the other day, and I fell on one of my favorites, Psalm 139:

 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.

Psalm 139: 1-12 (ESV)

This portion of the Psalm speaks of God’s Omnipresence. But often, when I read it, I read it from a negative viewpoint. It speaks of hiding from the Lord…it is impossible to escape the Lord’s presence and His omnipotence. I cannot hide my thoughts or deeds or feelings from God’s all-seeing, all-knowing presence. And this is a good thing in the end. But what about when I am not trying to escape from God, but some other threat– guilt, pain, heartbreak, or even death?

God’s omnipresence is also a metaphysical reality in a very positive sense. I cannot stray outside of God’s presence. He will not remove it from me; He will not hide from me. He will never send me into ANY situation where He is NOT already there, and where He will NOT be with me.

I know this. But I needed a reminder today. God will be with me on my best days, and on my worst. He will be with me in sickness or depression, or celebration and strength. He will be with me whether I am “alone” or surrounded by strangers. He will be with me in the darkness where I can’t see anything, as well as in the blinding bright lights of an operating room, or the eerie haze of a foggy morning.

Wherever I am, God is figuratively holding my hand; He is hemming me in all around. I am protected and supported by His Almighty Right Hand. When I am tempted to doubt– He is there! When I am distracted by the din of other voices– He is there! When I have turned my back on Him– He is STILL there; waiting for me to turn back!

I don’t know where I will have to go today. It may be to the grocery store; it may be halfway across the world…I may be called to do unexpected things, to go in an unexpected direction, to turn a frightening corner or face an unknown foe. But I can go anywhere with confidence– not in MY wisdom or abilities or strength– God is WITH me. God goes BEFORE me and BEHIND me. God is OVER me and UNDER me, and all AROUND me.

Recently, there was a news story about a submarine with passengers who were going to visit the wreck of the Titanic. Tragically, the submarine failed and their lives were lost. Just like the passengers over 100 years earlier, they were far from any human help. But God was there. I don’t know if any of the passengers were believers, but if they were, they could face their last earthly hours in confidence and peace that passes human understanding– God was there. Even though their bodies were not saved from this tragedy, their spirits were never out of God’s reach; their hearts were never lost to God’s loving gaze.

May we rest in that assurance today. There is no place on Earth– or in or over or under the Earth!– where God does not watch over us. The going may not be pleasant. It may be dangerous or even deadly. But we– our soul; our spirit– can go anywhere without fear. We can face the transition from life to death with calm assurance. We can face the empty threats of Death and the Grave without flinching. We can face our fears, and defeat them, when we trust that God’s presence in constant and completely sufficient.

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Praying For the Ashes

“Playing for the Ashes” may not be a familiar term to many. It refers to a Cricket Rivalry between England and Australia, dating back over 125 years. The term “the Ashes” was first used by a sports writer lamenting the loss of a Cricket match. The team from Australia had defeated the English team on its home soil, and the writer wrote a tongue-in-cheek “obituary.” Over the years, the two teams now play for a trophy shaped like an urn, which supposedly contains ashes of something related to the famous game. The rivalry is real, and the teams give their all to win each match “for the ashes.” But the trophy itself is little more than a joke. The phrase has come to mean playing all out for something that is already (figuratively) dead or worthless.

“Playing for the Ashes” is also the title of a mystery novel, in which a cricket player is murdered. I am not a Cricket fan, but I am a fan of mysteries, and in reading the book, I learned a little bit about a sport I have never followed. But the book builds on rivalry and the theme of investing one’s energy and dreams for “Ashes.” The main characters of the book have wasted their money, energy, and life force in the pursuit of power, revenge, fame, and status, only to find themselves losing everything they ever worked for. The book is very well written, and it made me think. But it also left me sad and somewhat empty at the end.

I began thinking about how various life pursuits might compared to playing for the ashes. I write about pursuing prayer, but what is my goal and aim? Am I pursuing prayer with the right goals? I may answer that it is part of my pursuit of living like Christ; that I want to grow closer to God; that I want to grow in my walk with Christ…any number of “Spiritual” answers. But is that always true?

How often do I spend my time playing for, and even PRAYING for “the ashes?” How many times do I try to “fix” things first, and only pray as a last resort? How many prayers are spent asking for things I “want” to happen, instead of seeking God’s will first? What dreams am I holding on to when I pray– unwilling to lay them on the altar? Am I praying in line with God’s will, or do I feel like prayer is a rivalry (either with God or with my circumstances)? Prayer IS a pursuit, but it is not a game or a rivalry. The “prize” of prayer is not getting the answers I want, or getting God’s “approval” of my desires. The “prize” is eternal, abundant life from– and with– the Father! It is not getting God “on my side”, but growing closer to the heart of God!

God wants to hear our requests and our desires– but He also wants to hear our desire to follow Him above all. We should be running for the true prize, not playing (or praying) for the ashes!

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Praying With Confidence

I had a surprise last week. Something I had prayed for– arrived early! Why was I shocked? Hadn’t I prayed about this very thing? Did I think God was too busy to hear my prayer? Or not powerful enough to answer?

Sometimes, when we pray for things, we have a high expectation that God will answer our prayers exactly as we wish. But other times, we pray hesitantly, as though we are asking too much, or asking for the wrong thing. You see, I wanted a certain book order to be delivered in time for us to take the books to a Ham-fest, where we could resell them. But I had waited to order them until nearly the last minute. So my prayers were made with the fear that God’s will might not align with my own. I was surprised and delighted when the books came a day earlier than I expected!

Not only was I surprised by the early arrival of the books, I was surprised to realize that I had been praying without the confidence that God would answer. I knew He COULD answer my prayer. But I wasn’t sure that He SHOULD answer my prayer. After all, if only I had ordered sooner, I should have expected the books to come in time. I didn’t “deserve” to have God answer the prayer above and beyond my expectation…

And this is a horrible way to think. God doesn’t give us what we “deserve.” And, to be clear, He won’t give us what goes AGAINST His will. If I were to steal books in order to resell them, that would NOT be an answer to prayer. But God WANTS to bless us! His ways are not our ways, so sometimes, He “blesses” us in ways we don’t see or understand. But God is a good, good Father.

We don’t have to pray in fear. We don’t have to worry that we are asking for “too much.” We can pray in confidence– even knowing that God may not answer in the way we hope or expect. And we shouldn’t be surprised when God answers in good, and even miraculous ways that go beyond our hopes and expectations!.

“Father, thank you for being so Good and so Faithful in answering prayer. Whether little concerns or big problems, I can trust You to do what is best and to meet my needs. Help me to trust you even more in every area of my life.”

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“I Would Prefer Not To..”

Years ago, our high school class read a classic short story by the American author, Herman Melville. Bartleby the Scrivener tells the story of an unusual clerk– one who begins as a good worker, efficient and conscientious, but ends up dying in prison, hopeless, ruined, and broken. His tragic downward spiral begins one day when the lawyer for whom he works asks him to examine a short document. This is a commonplace request, much like asking a writer to proofread her final draft before submitting it to the editor. However, Bartleby responds by saying “I would prefer not to.” The startled lawyer decides not to force the issue, and gives the task to someone else.

Bartleby’s refusal to do what is expected of him escalates until he no longer does ANY work. He refuses to work, refuses to leave the office, and refuses to eat. He isn’t angry or violent, but he remains defiant until the very end.

So it is with us when we are living in sin and rebellion against God. It may start out small– some little habit or attitude. We know it is wrong, but instead of obeying God’s word, we calmly say, “I would prefer not to…” not to tell the truth, not to turn away from porn, not to help my neighbor, not to agree with God about my behavior.

8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 He will not always chide,
    nor will he keep his anger forever.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:6-12 (ESV)

God is patient. He is gracious and kind. He does not treat us as our offenses deserve. He gives us the chance to repent. He offers forgiveness. But every time we say to God, “I would prefer not to,” we get a little more like Bartleby– isolating ourselves, wasting our potential to be all that God created us to be, growing more defiant and more rebellious, until we waste away into a prison of our own making, and, finally, death.

One of the things that makes Melville’s story so disturbing is that the narrator keeps trying to explain away Bartleby’s defiance–perhaps he is having trouble with his eyesight and doesn’t want to admit it; perhaps he was traumatized at a previous job; maybe there is a reason for his passive aggression. But in all of his attempts to understand, the narrator cannot save Bartleby from prison and death.

Understanding sin cannot change us. Excusing sin does nothing to stop its consequences (see Romans 6:23). No one killed Bartleby, yet he died because he “would prefer not to” do the things he needed to do to live. His small act of defiance, which starts out singular and almost heroic (after all, who wouldn’t like to tell the boss, “I would prefer not to,” every once in awhile?), sounds innocuous. Such a little thing to refuse. Surely God would not punish us for so small a thing…until one small thing leads to another…and another; a bigger rebellion; a numbing complacency; loss of perspective; a heart of stone; isolation; starvation; imprisonment; death.

What am I refusing to do for God today? What am I refusing to give up? Refusing to admit? Refusing to listen to? Am I excusing myself? Do I tell myself I am not in rebellion because I have been polite in my refusal to obey? Do I comfort myself that my rebellion is really just a matter of “preference,” and will not be consequential? That God’s Holiness is less important than my comfort or convenience?

Many people coast through life in the belief that God is SO merciful and SO loving that He can’t also be Holy and Just– that His commands are really suggestions; that His wrath is mythical; that our own wisdom is sufficient for living a “good” life and pleasing Him. But God isn’t concerned about whether we live a “good” life– He wants us to have an abundant life– filled with joy and peace, love and relationship, both now and forevermore. In fact, He would “prefer not to” punish us. He is not “willing” (i.e. desirous) that any should perish (2 Peter 3:9), but that everyone would some to repentance. That doesn’t mean that He won’t punish those who refuse to obey Him, or those who refuse to turn from their rebellion and trust Him; only that He will continue to give us the opportunity to recognize our need for forgiveness.

10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

John 15:10-15 ESV– taken from biblegateway.com

God has made it possible for us to be more than servants. We don’t have to respond to God as Bartleby responded to his boss– though God has the ultimate authority to demand our loyalty and obedience. Through Jesus, we are sons and daughters and friends! When God gives us commands, like “Love one another,” they are still commands. But His heart is that we should trust that all of His commands are righteous, life-giving, and in our eternal best interest. But some of us are still saying, “I would prefer not to.”

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Do I Serve or “Deserve?”

It struck me just the other day how similar these two words are in English. To serve is to work for; to perform a duty; to labor on behalf of someone else. A servant performs duties for a master; a worker serves his or her employer; I serve my customers as they visit my shop. To “deserve” is to work in such a way, or to show such qualities as to merit reward (or punishment).

Much of our Christian life here on earth is centered around service. I serve at church; “I serve a risen Savior;” even this blog is a way of serving– sharing the Gospel and what I continue to learn about prayer. Praying for others is a way of serving them.

But much of our culture centers around what we “deserve.” Even our service is often qualified and judged as being more or less worthy than other service. If I serve on a board of directors, it is considered more worthy, more deserving of respect, than if I serve as a janitor, a junior clerk, or a night watchman. If I serve in a public capacity as an elected official or an ambassador, I am considered more deserving than if I serve as a humble citizen. We see some positions as deserving of more money, more power, more respect, and more worth.

But that is NOT the way God sees our service. God gives good gifts, not because we “deserve” them, but because it is His nature to give. God sends the sunshine and the rain to everyone, regardless of whether they have “earned” a sunny day or “deserve” lovely flowers to grow in their garden. Similarly, when God allows for natural disasters, they affect both “good” and “bad” people in a region. Occasionally, God will show His divine favor by sparing a group, as He did with the Israelites in Egypt. The Egyptians were victims of ten plagues, while the Israelites, living in the land of Goshen, were spared. But that wasn’t because the Israelites “deserved” to be spared, nor that every Egyptian was “deserving” of punishment. Rather, the horror of slavery and oppression of the Israelites caused God to show His righteousness and His power to save those who were being unjustly treated. (A lesson our world has yet to fully learn!) And God promised Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob that He would be with their descendants forever, saving them from those who would oppress them. But in daily life around us, innocent people often struggle, while “bad” people seem to prosper. Why doesn’t God give us what we “deserve?”

What we “deserve” in this life is the consequence of our sin and rebellion against God’s holiness–and that is DEATH. A God without any mercy would simply allow for those consequences to take effect without any opportunity to repent or to experience His Blessing. God does NOT give us what we “deserve” here on earth. However, He notices our “service”– our desire and capacity to do good–at every level. He does not give higher value to those who serve in positions of power or authority– in fact, Jesus taught just the opposite:

25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave,  28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:25-28 ESV

Prayer often seems like a humble service– we often pray alone or in small groups. Very few people are praised for being “prayer warriors,” and many pray without anyone even knowing about it. Except God knows. He hears and He delights in our prayers. We don’t pray in order to “earn” God’s favor, or anyone else’s approval. But we pray to a God who gives us far more than we “deserve.” And we serve a God who delights in even the humble acts we do for others. A God who has promised us Eternal life with Him in Heaven! Not as a reward for our service; not based on our worthiness or self-righteousness, but based on the worthiness of Jesus! Heaven is our reward for His great sacrifice. We don’t “deserve” it, but we can rejoice in it, even as we serve quietly and humbly here on earth.

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Prayers of Protection

My husband and I just returned from a week-long vacation. We had a very nice time, just getting away for awhile, relaxing, doing some fishing, and enjoying nature. We like to travel, and we like to take the “back roads” and scenic routes. Even so, we pray for God’s protection as we travel.

Praying for “travel mercies” or safety as we travel is not a magical formula. We were not expecting that God would somehow grant us a problem-free trip. Prayer doesn’t change the possibility that we could be involved in an accident, or our car might break down, or we might be subject to bad weather or natural disaster (on that note, we are praying for those impacted by Hurricane Helene– both residents and travelers). Rather, praying for safety in our travels is an acknowledgement that God knows what the future holds, and we do not. God is able to protect us from harm in a miraculous way, if He so chooses. But He is also able to bring us THROUGH tough times and even disasters. Prayer reminds us that we are not the sole authors of our own circumstances.

Nor does prayer negate our obligation to practice safety–we obey the traffic laws, check to make sure the car is in good condition, we wear seatbelts, and pay attention to driving conditions. Prayer simply reminds us that we are not the sole authors of our circumstances. We expect certain outcomes, but God knows both the expected and the unexpected outcomes; we proclaim our trust in Him, no matter what.

So what happened on our vacation? Was it all smooth sailing (or driving in our case)? Not quite. Yet I believe that God answered our prayers and showed His faithfulness. We took our Jeep and drove almost 500 miles away from home without any major incident. We did have to “pump up” one of our tires, and we experienced some rough driving when we went “off road” due to a wrong turn we took. (We ended up on a designated trail for off-road vehicles, thinking it was a short-cut to a rocky beach!) And, just as we were entering our home town at the end of our trip, we witnessed (but were not involved) in a bad crash involving a vehicle fleeing from the police.

I believe that God was with us–not just because we had a good trip with minimal troubles, but because He has promised to never leave us! I know faithful Christians who have died in terrible car accidents. Two years before I was born, my mother and grandmother almost died in an auto accident. God was still with them! Someone once asked me to think about all the “close calls” and even unknown dangers that none of us can see–We have no idea how many times over we “should” have died or “might” have faced grave dangers. In fact, on another vacation a few years ago, we were within 30 miles of home when we hit a deer. No one was hurt, but it could have been a disaster. The accident that injured my mother was along a route that she drove every day. In fact, most accidents happen within 25 miles of home. How easy to pray for protection for a long trip into the unknown and forget to pray when we are traveling to church on Sunday or to the movies on Friday night! Yet God may have protected us from death a hundred times over in our lives without our knowledge. It is only when we see the frightening possibilities that we acknowledge the miracles of His protection in our lives.

It can be difficult to see the hand of God when a miracle doesn’t happen. When “good” people die or suffer extreme pain as the result of a freak accident. We want life to “make sense.” We want our plans to, well, go as planned. And it can be too easy to claim credit when things DO work out just the way we expected. God did not let bad things happen to other people because He didn’t love them. And He didn’t let David and I have a great vacation because He somehow loves us MORE than others, or because we are somehow “better” or “more deserving” of a good vacation.

God answers prayers of protection– not because He has to, and not always in the way we expect Him to–God’s ways are NOT our ways. But we can trust Him, and continue to pray for protection and mercy as we travel through each new day. He IS Faithful. He WILL not leave us to face the unknown alone.

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