It is Advent season. We celebrate in four weeks an event that was anticipated for four hundred years! For four centuries, the people of Israel waited for the coming Messiah without ever hearing a word from God. Oh, there were prophecies– some stretching back centuries– that promised he would arrive. But when?!
Imagine praying earnestly for an event that would not happen for another three or four hundred years? Imagine praying into silence for an entire lifetime for an event that even your great-grandchildren would never witness?
We live in a fast world. Fast food, high-speed internet, overnight delivery of packages, instant communication, bullet trains– we have lost the skill of waiting. Yet Advent celebrates the waiting, the anticipation of a birth so amazing and so consequential, that we look back over 2,000 years in wonder!
The birth of Emmanuel was worth the wait. “God With Us” came into the world “at just the right time.” (Galatians 4:4). He was not a moment too early or too late to fulfill all the prophecies and bring Salvation to mankind. Those who prayed faithfully over the centuries may not have lived to see the fulfillment, but they put their hope and trust in the prophets and in the God they served.
We are in another Advent season– we await the return of Christ! We have no way of knowing the exact hour or day (or year or even century) of His return. But with the same wonder and hope of those faithful men and women of old, we should pray for His coming again! We should share the glorious story of His first coming. We should celebrate and worship the Faithfulness of God. He keeps all His promises “at just the right time.”
And as we wait, we must not give up hope or lose our passion for the Mission that Christ left with us. “Go, and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19-20). As wonderful as Christ’s birth was, it pales in comparison to His triumphant return to judge and rule the earth. May we look back in wonder and forward in joy as we celebrate this season.
We are commanded to pray for our enemies. This is not an easy command to understand, let alone follow. Should I pray for the destruction of my enemies? Or should I pray for their success? Surely, God doesn’t want me to pray that they will continue in evil or succeed in corruption and destruction. So where is the balance? What does God want from me?
I wish I had a simple answer, but I don’t. The Bible, however, gives us several examples and guidelines. There are things we should pray for, and things that we need to give over to God.
DO pray for the following:
Pray for the protection of your enemies– protection from their own folly, protection from the temptations and wiles of the enemy, etc.
Pray for them to choose repentance and accept God’s salvation through Jesus Christ.
Pray for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Is your enemy hungry? Suffering from grief or loneliness? Do they have cancer? Are they blind to God’s Grace because they have followed false teachers or doctrines? Pray for their health in all areas and be willing to offer practical help when possible.
Pray for their families.
Forgive them–pray for the strength to forgive and to let go of any bitterness or resentment against them for past wrongs or current actions.
Pray that God will bring peaceful resolution–and be willing to do whatever you can within God’s will to help bring that about.
Pray that God will bring Justice–not personal revenge for you. Pray that God will, in His way and His timing, uphold what is righteous and wholly just.
DO NOT pray for:
Their destruction. If they are not following Christ, they are already on the road to destruction! Praying for their death, or physical harm is not Biblical. This does NOT mean that we cannot pray that their deception should be exposed, or their power over others for evil should not be stripped away. Remember, our “enemy” is not the person or persons involved, but the EVIL they represent. If you are tempted to pray for someone’s death or wishing them to get cancer or cheering on those who would hurt them, YOU are just as guilty of grieving the Holy Spirit as they are!
Their triumph. “Praying for your enemy” is not the same as cheering them on. Forgiving them is not the same as praying that they get a “free pass” on past behavior.
God to “make” them change. God desires that we choose to follow Him. Pray instead that God will bring opportunities for others to want to seek Him, and to choose repentance.
Them to apologize, grovel, or be humiliated so that you can feel better. God MAY cause any of those things to happen, but we should not demand our own importance over God’s Grace.
Along with these guidelines, we should remember that we must treat everyone with respect and love. But that doesn’t mean that we compromise on the truth. Many of “our” enemies are really in rebellion against God and His Word. We can continue to love and respect their humanity and their need for compassion without condoning their behavior or accepting as valid their false narratives.
David spares Saul’s life in the cave (1 Samuel 24)
King David often prayed about his enemies. And some of his prayers may seem like the ones on the DO NOT list above. David often prayed that his enemies would be vanquished; that their names would be blotted out, or that they would fall victim to their own traps. But David also refused to harm his arch-enemy King Saul. Though God had promised that the kingdom would be taken from Saul and given to him, David refused to kill one who had been anointed as king of Israel (see 1 Samuel chapters 24 and 26). David killed many men in battle, and he committed murder in ordering the death of Uriah, but he showed kindness to Saul’s family, rather than punishing them (2 Samuel 9). God punished David for murder, but He blessed David for showing compassion to his enemies.
Jesus prayed for His disciples– that they would grow in Love and Grace. He instructed them to pray for those who have hurt them (Matthew 5:43-48). He never prayed for the destruction of the Pharisees or the Roman oppressors who caused so much suffering in Judea. Instead, he healed the son of the Roman official (see John 4:46-54) who asked for help. Even when the mob came to arrest Jesus in the garden before His crucifixion, He healed the ear of the soldier, after Peter cut it off trying to defend Him. And on the Cross, Jesus prayed that the father would “forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34)
Stephen, as he was being stoned, prayed for the forgiveness of his killers. Saul, who became the Apostle Paul, would have heard this prayer as he stood guarding the coats of the assassins. Throughout the epistles, we are reminded to pray for our enemies, AND to do our best to live in peace with them. (Romans 12:18; 1 Timothy 2:1-3; see also 2 Peter 3:9)
It is very tempting to want God to step in and do what we want– bring instant justice and punishment to those who harm us. But that is NOT God’s will. It IS His will that we should trust HIM to bring about true justice and to bring others to repentance. Including our “enemies.”
Many years ago, I watched the movie, Dr. Doolittle. (This was the old version with Rex Harrison, long before Eddie Murphy or Robert Downey Jr. starred in the more recent remakes.) I can still remember the wonder of seeing a “Pushmi Pullyu– a quirky, mythical-type creature that looked like a conjoined llama. It had two heads and two sets of front legs pointing in opposite directions. If one half of the creature wanted to run forward, the other half would have to try to run backward. It was large, awkward, timid, but rather useless for working, herding, etc.
Then, last week, as I was entering the ladies’ rest room at church, I was astonished to find it opening with only the lightest of touches. Just as I tried to push open the door, someone on the other side was pulling it open on her end. Both of us commented on how easily the door swung open as I pushed and she pulled at the same time. We didn’t plan it– we couldn’t see the other person helping us along– but the result was worthy of remark.
There are many things in life that have a push and pull element, including prayer. When we push and pull in opposite directions, awkwardness, complications, and chaos can be the result. How many times have I prayed very specifically for a desired result, only to find that MY will, MY timing, and MY wisdom is NOT the same as God’s?! God still hears– and answers– my prayers. But my expectations and desires cause me to be frustrated and even ungrateful for God’s response. Instead of seeing His protection and provision, I see only delay or denial. I’m trying to push God in one direction as He pulls me in another!
How much easier when I pray for God’s will to be done “on earth as it is in Heaven!” (Matthew 6:10) When I truly push in God’s direction, doors open and peace wraps around me like a comfortable blanket. I may not “see” God’s actions on the other side of the door, but I can sense His presence in a remarkable way!
The same is true when asking for prayer from others. Sometimes, we refuse to ask for help or prayer– maybe we’re too proud; maybe we are too ashamed to admit our weakness or need; maybe we just isolate or withdraw. At other times, we may ask for help (or offer help) that is contrary to what we (or others) really need. I remember one friend from college who would consistently ask for advice, only to come up with dozens of excuses why she couldn’t (or wouldn’t) follow any of it! And I’ve been there, too!
Praying with and for others is a great privilege and responsibility. It is not enough to simply listen to a quick request or make an offhand promise to “pray about it” later. It is important to listen carefully, show compassion, and pray according to Scripture and God’s will. Showing compassion may involve asking questions, getting some background about the circumstances, offering practical help, or stopping to pray WITH the person NOW as well as praying later.
Thankfully, prayer is not meant to be like a Pushmi-Pullyu. God designed prayer to be much more than a means of asking for help. And His power is designed to help us become “more than conquerors” (Romans 8:37). In fact, the Apostle Paul reminds us that God is “able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us” (Ephesians 3:20)
God always hears our prayers. He always has an answer. But it isn’t always the answer we expect. Sometimes, God answers, “No,” or “Not yet.” Sometimes, He answers in ways that seem confusing and mysterious, and even ironic.
I remember as a young teen praying for a woman in the community who had lymphoma. In treating her condition, the doctors, trying a new experimental treatment, did permanent damage to certain muscles, leading to a progressively debilitating condition. She died a slow and painful death, unrelated to her original condition. Where was God? How could He listen to our prayers and give such a cold, cruel answer?
But God sees a bigger picture than we do. This precious woman had incredible faith and grit. She had spent years working diligently to help others and teach God’s Word. She continued her work, even in the midst of her health struggles almost to the end of her life. What might have caused some people to turn their backs on God made her more dependent on His Grace. She faced her pain and weakness with grit, strength, and hope in God’s eternal healing. God’s answer wasn’t to rescue her from the suffering, but to be present in it with her. And her example lives on to this day.
Some people would read about this and be dismissive. What a cop-out! What a delusion! But there is much more to her story than her own condition or even her response. One of the men in our church really struggled with God’s seeming indifference. He wrestled with his own faith for many months while watching her get weaker and weaker. But through his struggle, he grew in his conviction that God was present in every situation. He was inspired to do short-term mission work, partly as a result of this growth. Knowing that God would be with him, he threw himself into loving people from a different culture–different climate, different language, different work ethic– and helped build churches and other facilities for those in need. Many people were helped, inspired, and encouraged because of his dependence on God– a dependence enhanced by facing his own questions and doubts.
Family members and community members, watching her struggles, were inspired to pick up where she left off– working and teaching and reaching out to others with zeal and joy–following her marvelous example. Today, some of her family members are leaders in their churches, raising the next generations of witnesses to God’s mercy and power. Doctors, having failed in her treatment, learned from it– a difficult lesson for all, but a lesson, nonetheless. Her joyful attitude (before and during her struggles) inspired me to direct the Vacation Bible School program at our church for a few years, and to teach Sunday School when I moved to a new location. And those are just a few of the ways I have “seen” God’s answers to our prayers. God did not give our friend the physical healing we wanted. But her struggles– and her response of faith and perseverance–inspired a ripple effect far beyond her own pain and disappointment. And she has received the ultimate healing! Her pain, intense and unjust as it was, was only temporary. Her life, her legacy, her joy– they all live on!
How often do we look at a situation and think we know what is “best?” How often do we feel that God’s answers are “wrong?” Wrong timing, wrong outcome, full of hardship or pain– how can this be God’s “perfect” will for us? There was nothing about this woman’s situation that was comfortable; no reason to see a good outcome for her or her immediate family. She died. She experienced pain, with no earthly justice. Her suffering was undeserved and unmitigated. She refused to sue the hospital or the doctors– she wanted them to be able to continue to learn from her experience so they could help others NOT to suffer in the future. But her life was shortened and made grueling in the process, and she received no payout, no financial compensation, no symbolic reparation for her sacrifice. We received no “miraculous” answer to our prayers. It seemed at the time that the more we prayed for healing, the worse her condition became. We continued to pray anyway, knowing that God DID hear us, and God’s ways were not our ways– they are always better. Even when His ways seem like silence.
This all happened several decades ago, and many of the “answers” from our urgent prayers are still hidden from our eyes. Many of our questions remain unanswered. But God’s will is still active, even in these tragic circumstances. Someday in Heaven, it may be revealed to us exactly how God used this woman’s life and struggles to bring about blessings to hundreds of other people– causing them to grow strong through her weakness, drawing them to His healing and wisdom in a world of pain and confusion.
I have lost many friends to cancer. I pray for each one, and the outcomes are never exactly the same. Some go into remission, only to have the cancer return three or four years later. Others get amazing healing– surgeons are astonished and perplexed by the rapid or miraculous disappearance of cancer cells. Some go into fast decline and die almost immediately after their diagnoses. And each situation impacts people in different ways, showing God’s power and presence for those who are willing to look for them. Prayer isn’t a magic formula for immediate and total healing. Prayer is lifting up a situation that is beyond our control or understanding and trusting that God has a perfect plan beyond what we can see or understand. Cancer cannot take God by surprise. Death cannot outwit or overpower God. We live in a world where Evil can overwhelm us; our bodies can betray us; our future can be lost in the fog of uncertainty and suffering. But God is present– not only IN our suffering, but ABOVE and BEYOND our suffering.
We don’t pray for our friends and loved ones to suffer. We want them to be healed, to be free of pain and grief; to be at ease and blessed with abundance. This is normal; it is good. God wants to bless us. It doesn’t bring Him joy to watch us suffer. But He also wants us to see the blessing of His presence, His wisdom, and His power. Sometimes, we can’t see that as we look around. Sometimes, we need to look up! Even from a hospital bed (see John, chapter 9). Even from the flames of suffering (see Daniel, chapter 3). Or from the belly of a whale (see Jonah, chapter 2). And we will find that God is there.
You’ve got to accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative Latch on to the affirmative Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum Bring gloom down to the minimum Have faith or pandemonium (is) Liable to walk upon the scene “Accentuate the Positive” by Harold Arlen/Johnny Mercer
This popular song came out in 1944, as thousands of soldiers were dying in World War 2, and millions were facing homelessness and starvation in Europe, Asia, and northern Africa. Its syncopated rhythms and upbeat lyrics helped focus minds and hearts on hope in a world torn apart by war, hatred, and despair. Further lyrics refer to biblical characters Jonah and Noah, and their experiences facing “dark” times.
The Bible gives us similar (and more specific) advice. The Apostle Paul wrote from prison to believers in hard-pressed Philippi:
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:6-8 (NIV)
In other words– Accentuate the Positive and latch on to the affirmative!
To the Ephesian believers, he says:
The Old Way Has to Go (or, Eliminate the Negative):
And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. They’ve refused for so long to deal with God that they’ve lost touch not only with God but with reality itself. They can’t think straight anymore. Feeling no pain, they let themselves go in sexual obsession, addicted to every sort of perversion. But that’s no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you. What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. Did you use to make ends meet by stealing? Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help others who can’t work. Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:17-32 (The Message)
But what does it mean when the song says, “Don’t mess with Mister In Between”? The Bible gives some advice on this as well. The Apostle James has much to say about such a man in the first chapter of his epistle. He talks about being steadfast, not doubting, not double-minded, and not swept up in temptation, blaming others, and justifying his own philosophies:
22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. James 1:22-25 (ESV)
To James, “Mister In Between” is a shadow man, a person without root or discipline, who will listen to the word of truth, but then turn back to the darkness of the world to justify inaction and/or wrong actions. Mister In Between wants to straddle the fence between sin and obedience, revenge and forgiveness, anger and patience, comfort and compassion. But that doesn’t work. Such a person lives in a false reality– one where his/her “truth” changes with each new experience or emotion, each new encounter with pleasure or grief.
Jesus Himself spoke of the dangers of living “In Between”:
Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. 25 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? 26 Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels… 62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:23-26;62 (NIV)
13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:13-16 (NIV)
We may not be in the midst of a World War (though some reading this may be experiencing war, persecution, and suffering), but we are all involved in a great Spiritual Battle. There are negative forces and philosophies warring with God’s Truth– Anger, Despair, Hatred and Vengeance, Pride, Envy, Power, Greed, and many more. We need to keep our thoughts positively turned toward “whatever is true”.. and noble and praiseworthy– we need to keep our thoughts, prayers, and actions in tune with the teachings of Jesus. We also need to “eliminate” the negativity in our lives– doubts, regrets, shame, lust, bitterness, jealousy, and empty adherence to things of this world– we need to turn our back on old ways of thinking and doing (or NOT thinking or doing) and focus on Jesus. And we need to avoid “messing” with Mister In Between– stop compromising, stop trying to straddle the fence between loving others and making them feel comfortable or superior in their sin at the cost of our own soul.
It sounds easy and jaunty to “accentuate the positive.” But it involves commitment, and the willingness to let go of the negative and the complacent that creeps into our lives. That’s my prayer for today. I hope it is yours, too.
I was challenged the other day by someone who suggested that my prayers are “too little.” Well, not precisely “my” prayers– I head up a small prayer group at church, and we pray for people in our congregation and our community. We keep a running list of people who are suffering from various health issues or housing issues, relationship issues, etc. We also pray for our church staff, for missionaries that our church supports, for upcoming ministry opportunities and programs, and other seemingly “small” requests. These are posted on a list and shared with some of our church members who are shut in or who want to lift up their neighbors in very specific ways.
I don’t think this person meant to be insulting but I see our prayer group quite differently. These “little” prayers are heartfelt, and I believe they reflect the heart of our Savior. Yes, Jesus offered salvation through His death and resurrection to “whosoever believeth” (John 3:16) throughout all the ages, but in His ministry, Jesus was extremely personal and intimate. Among His disciples, Jesus taught them to ask for “our daily bread” and for simple forgiveness as “we forgive” those who have hurt us. (Matthew 6:9-13) And I think our prayer group reflects that aspect of prayer. So, even though our list may seem “small” as we pray for Ned’s pneumonia, or Clarice’s upcoming CAT scan, next week’s teen outing, or Chris’s continuing housing issue, it is also showing compassion and worth to each individual, sharing in their “burdens” (Galatians 6:2) because God loves each of us without condition or limit!
On the other hand, I think I know what this individual was trying to convey. We are also called to pray “big” prayers. Jesus encouraged His disciples to have “big” faith– the kind that moves mountains (see Matthew 17:20– although Jesus says that even faith as small as a mustard seed can result in this kind of answer!) “Little” prayers can be the result of “little” faith. We pray for God to intervene in ordinary things without asking Him to unleash His power and majesty. God is able to do infinitely more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:19-20) through the power of Christ in us! So are we tapping into that promise, or limiting our prayers to what we think God might do on a small scale?
I don’t think our prayer group is doing this at all. We often pray for peace in the Middle East and in other war-torn regions. We pray that the spirits of Anger, Lust, Deception, and Rebellion will be bound and that the eyes of the lost will be opened; that hearts will be softened toward the Gospel, and that our brothers and sisters facing persecution will be, strengthened, emboldened, and protected/rescued. We pray for Revival and renewal across nations and continents. And we pray that in these “little” situations, God’s love, wisdom, and power will be shown clearly– even to those who deny His existence.
Prayer is a huge topic, and a lifelong pursuit. I was challenged by this comment the other day to look closely at how our group functions; at how I present prayer each week; at how we perceive the calling and responsibility of prayer. In the Proverbs, we are told that “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17) Comments like the one that challenged me the other day are golden opportunities to learn, review, and grow in our daily pursuit. The Church is strengthened when we allow for each member to speak– especially if it stretches our view of things we take for granted!
I don’t believe there are any prayers that are “too little” to bring to God– He delights in our smallest steps of Faith; in our complete and simple dependence on Him. But I also don’t believe that our prayers can or should be limited by the mundane and ordinary. We should come boldly to the throne of Grace– not because of who we are or what we’ve done, but because of the Awesomeness and perfect Sufficiency of the God we serve!
As a young girl, I prayed about being married. Most of my prayers were pretty shallow– more about the wedding than the marriage. I dreamed of dresses and decorations, flowers and a shadowy “prince charming” type of groom, whisking me off into the sunset and living happily, dreamily ever after.
The years went by…MANY years! I prayed and dreamed through my twenties; I prayed and hoped through my thirties; and I prayed with less hope and more desperation in my early forties! But my prayers changed as I saw marriages around me. I saw many marriages that were solid, even through tough times. And I saw many “fairy tale” marriages crumble. I saw a lot of heartbreak, anger, and tears, as people who had once vowed to love one another “’til death us do part” fought over furniture and who got the kids over minor holiday weekends. I heard from frustrated wives who felt like they had made a huge mistake, marrying the “man of their dreams.” Some of them compounded the mistake by looking around for a replacement “Mr. Right.”
Instead of praying about a wedding, I began praying about marriage. Instead of praying for “Mr. Right,” I started praying that God would help me become “Mrs. Right.” And I prayed that God would show me what I should do for others during the time that I was single, as well as what I could do for him in a marriage relationship.
Thirteen years ago, I married my husband, David. He isn’t “Prince Charming,” though he can be charming and noble at times. He is, as I am, a flawed human being. David was married before, and he carries the hurt of betrayal and loss of trust from the past. I carry the hurt of being rejected and passed over for so many years. Marriage doesn’t make the past disappear. Marriage is not a “cure” for such hurts.
But marriage is more. God instituted marriage from the beginning for a man and woman to come together in a mysteriously intimate relationship that models what God’s love is like. (See Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31 and others.) David and I don’t exist to “complete” each other. We don’t cease to be our own individual selves. And yet, we are not the same as we were before our marriage. We are more than the sum of our parts– we are ourselves, yet we are one– the Fairs. He is David Fair, and I am Lila Fair, but WE are THE Fairs. And spiritually, we are also one WITH Christ– as individuals and as a couple. We walk forward as One. We make decisions together. We share hopes and dreams, as well as struggles and disappointments. We fight sometimes– not against each other, but against differences or misunderstandings that could weaken US as a couple and weaken our relationship with Christ.
I don’t pray any less often or less fervently now that I am married, but I pray daily about my marriage. I thank God that He was with me through all the “single” years. I thank God that He continues to work in our marriage– that David and I know more about love and faith, hope and fulfillment than we did 13 years ago! I pray that David and I will grow together for many years to come. I pray that we will impact our family as we live out what a Godly marriage is supposed to be. I pray that our marriage will inspire young men and women who are looking (as I once was) to see what a solid marriage involves– that the way we talk to each other, and behave, and work, and live will give hope to future couples, and glory to God.
Marriage and prayer go hand in hand. Prayer cannot guarantee that marriage will be easy–or even than it will survive. Marriage takes two people praying and walking in the same direction! But marriage–and life– without prayer will never be all that God intends it to be.
But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Matthew 6:6 (ESV)
Prayer can sometimes seem like a cowardly action. It seems passive; it relies on faith and, often, patience. We connect courage to action– courageous people DO something; cowards sit on the sidelines or hide in their closets. Yet Jesus told His disciples to go into their rooms or closets, close the door, and pray in secret. Jesus himself often went out into the desert to pray alone. Jesus’s ministry was filled with passive moments. He spoke, or he walked along from town to town. He stopped to heal people by touching them or speaking to them. He rarely raised his voice or let his temper show. He allowed himself to be arrested, tried, sentenced, beaten, and crucified, without making a vigorous defense or protesting his horrific and unjust treatment. On the cross, his one impassioned outburst was a prayer to His Father–“My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34)
We don’t think of Jesus as a coward. Yet, we often sneer at Christians who spend more time praying and less time “doing.” Being active is not a bad thing. Jesus commanded His disciples with many active words– “GO,” “teach,” “feed My sheep.” And there are busy people who are courageous in their own way. They go into dangerous places to preach the Gospel. They risk their health and safety to reach the lost with the Good News that Jesus Saves! They stand firm for the truth, and they defend it with vigor and passion. But Jesus also commanded His disciples to “Follow Me.” That means that we need to look at and model our lives after the ways that Jesus responded to various situations, and how He lived. The question we often ask is “what would Jesus do?” But the real question we should ask is “what did Jesus DO?”
Jesus prayed. He prayed for people; He prayed with people; and He prayed alone for hours and even days. And Jesus prayed courageous prayers. He didn’t pray “safe” prayers. Even His anguished prayer in the garden ended with courageous and humble resignation– “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42) Jesus also engaged lovingly and personally with the kinds of people that others ignored or wrote off or dismissed as broken, damaged, or irredeemable.
Just this week, a young Christian apologist and conservative speaker, Charlie Kirk, was assassinated. He was well-known and admired (or detested) for speaking up about family values, and Christian principles on American college campuses. He often faced hostile critics and smug detractors– atheists, anarchists, and those who called him a racist, a homophobe/transphobe, a bigot, and a “hater.” I never met Mr. Kirk. I watched some of the videos his group posted of him patiently and passionately arguing for marriage, faith, morality, hard work, ethical behavior, and national issues like immigration reform, tariffs, and foreign policy matters. I respected much of what he said, and some of how he said it. One of the things I most respected was his commitment to listening and asking questions, instead of merely attacking. But the most amazing thing about Mr. Kirk was his passionate and outspoken commitment to Jesus Christ. His faith was the center of everything he said, and in the way he interacted with supporters and detractors alike. He did not shy away from difficult questions, and he rarely resorted to easy answers, but he always pointed others to the example and the words of Jesus.
In the wake of his death, many people are asking, “What now?” Mr. Kirk was articulate, passionate, and willing to put himself in danger in order to defend the truth and his personal views. He trusted God to use him, and he was willing to pay a horrible price– being hated, threatened, and ultimately shot to death–to do what he saw as God’s work. He left behind a family (wife and two children), several close friends, and a host of people who followed him on social media and looked to him as a Godly example. Fellow Christians, while we may grieve his loss here, rejoice that he is Home with his Savior for eternity. But many people are wondering what will happen if no one steps forward to take his place and carry on his mission. While I believe that many young people will be inspired to speak out and engage in discussions, I don’t think most of us are meant to step into a spotlight. I think we NEED more people who will commit to going into their closets and pray. While Mr. Kirk put himself in the public arena, there have been hundreds and thousands of people praying for him. They continue to pray for his family, his outreach organization, “Turning Point”, and they even pray for those who instigated and committed this violence.
Prayer is NOT cowardly. Prayer warriors are needed to intercede, to call on Heaven’s Armies to continue in the age-old battle. We should be willing to have the difficult conversations when they arise. Some of us will be called to initiate such conversations openly and with fierce determination. And we should all be ready to “give a reason for the hope that is in you” (1 Peter 3:15) even when it is with “trembling and fear.” And we should always remember to be humble and show kindness, even to those who despise us. But some of us need to be lifting up those who are being attacked. Some of us need to pray more boldly, more often, and more confidently in light of the violence that has exploded in our world. We need to pray, not just for the Charlie Kirks of the world, but for the salvation of all the would-be assassins. We need to pray for the hearts and minds of those who want to argue and “cancel” all those who stand for God’s Word. And for all those who do not know the truth, who are confused, befuddled, or deceived.
We need those who can be courageous– whether in the public square or in a private room.
Have you ever read the Dr. Seuss classic, “Green Eggs and Ham”? In this early childhood reader, the narrator (nameless) is accosted by an enthusiastic character named Sam (Sam I Am), who wants him to try a dish called green eggs and ham. But the narrator refuses. Sam keeps offering, but the narrator continues to refuse, saying he does not like green eggs and ham, and will not try them under a variety of circumstances (in a box, with a fox, on a train, in the rain, etc..) offered by the optimistic Sam.
Finally, Sam’s persistence wears down the narrator’s resistance, and he agrees to try the dish. To his surprise, he LOVES them. In his newfound enthusiasm, he declares he WILL eat them in a box, with a fox, in a tree, in a boat, with a goat, on a train, in the rain, here or there…in fact, he WILL eat them anywhere! He ends by thanking Sam.
So what does a children’s book have to do with prayer?
Well, I believe that the pursuit of prayer as an integral part of living a Christ-like lifestyle is kind of like green eggs and ham. Most people who dismiss the power of prayer have never really pursued it. They have seen it, heard about it– maybe even gotten a whiff of it. They may have “sampled” prayer many years ago as a child or in a single moment of desperation. And the result was disappointment or confusion. Prayer didn’t solve all their problems in an instant. They didn’t get the miracle they hoped for. They didn’t get the bike for Christmas. Their neighbor’s leukemia wasn’t cured. Their situation at work got even worse. Their wife still left and filed for divorce. “Prayer” left a bad taste in their mouth. And they have heard others dismiss prayer and faith as obsolete, ignorant practices, designed for backward and unenlightened people. Like the slightly nauseating color of green eggs and ham, prayer has been deemed unappetizing and best avoided.
And now, when someone mentions a lifestyle of prayer– when someone talks about praying as a daily habit, or a natural part of their worship–the reaction is scorn and suspicion. Prayer doesn’t look powerful. It doesn’t look appetizing. How can something so simple and tame have any effect? Why is the world still suffering so much injustice and evil if there are people out there praying every day? And why do Christians (and others with a prayer tradition) cling to prayer as though it will solve life’s problems?
But prayer, like eggs, can have a bad reputation. For years, we were told that eggs were awful for you– high in protein, yes, but also high in cholesterol, and likely to contribute to diabetes and colon cancer. Recent studies contradict each other, but many now say that eggs are actually good for you. Similarly, during times of crises or disasters, prayer is often derided as inactive and ineffective, and we get mixed messages about people who offer to pray for victims and their families.
Recently, I was challenged about my pursuit of prayer. What good does my prayer do in the face of injustice and disease, death and suffering that people experience? Why do I pray to a God that allows bad things to happen? I have been challenged before, and my answer remains the same. I pray because I have known the peace that comes from trusting God’s wisdom, HIS timing, and His Love for each of us. I don’t have answers for all the “what-ifs” or the “whys.” But I continue to trust that God DOES! And daily prayer is not about “me,” or my questions or what I wish for. It’s about communing with the God who has been faithful all my life and continues to be faithful in every season. The God I love, and the God who knows the end from the beginning.
So what if more of us prayed daily– not just as a reaction to disasters– but pro-actively? What if we prayed, not in anger or bitterness, not transactionally, expecting a particular outcome, but with gratitude for who God is, what He has already done, and what He will choose to do in His loving sovereignty? What if we prayed with open minds and hearts, trusting that we are talking to a God who loves us and knows what is best, not just in the temporary, but in the eternal scope of our lives? We would still see evil in this fallen world, but what if our prayers DO make a difference– we just don’t see the whole scope of what God has provided, or the evil He has NOT allowed to touch us?
I speak as one who has pursued prayer for more than half a century. I’m not perfect. Sometimes, I get frustrated when my desires don’t align with God’s answers. But that’s not the fault of Prayer. Prayer DOES change things– maybe not instantly, and maybe not in the ways I imagine in the short term– but I have seen and experienced the power of prayer. I have felt it in my own life, and I have seen in in studying history and talking to people whose lives were radically transformed by their prayers and the prayers of others.
In every situation, we can pray. So, to paraphrase Sam I Am, I WILL pray here and there! I will pray most anywhere (except I won’t close my eyes if I am driving!) So to end:
“I’ll be praying in a boat, I could be praying with a goat. I may be praying in the rain. Or in the dark. Or on a train.
And in a car (eyes open of course). And in a tree. Because Prayer, it is so good, you see!
So I would still pray in a box. And I would still pray with a fox. I will pray inside my house. And I will pray beside a mouse.
And I will write “Pursuing Prayer” Because I serve a Lord who Cares!
What if we all had the same enthusiasm for prayer as Sam had about Green Eggs and Ham? What if we keep praying “without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and with confidence (1 John 5:14-15) each day?
We used to teach children to say bedtime prayers by rote:
Now I lay me down to sleep; I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.
I don’t actually remember praying this exact prayer at bedtime– partly because it seemed morbid and conjured the stuff of nightmares more than peaceful rest. Thankfully, my parents taught me more about praying than just this little prayer. We learned the Lord’s Prayer, and to lift up our friends and family to God’s care. We prayed for family stationed far from home, family members who were ill or suffering in some way, and for neighbors and classmates we cared about. We prayed for missionaries and the people and places that called them far away. We prayed for our nation and leaders. And we prayed confession, and thanksgiving, and worship, and intercession.
But I was reminded of this old prayer when I watched a video our aunt sent us the other day. It was a short documentary about a nature photographer who spent over 18 months building up trust with a wild cheetah in order to get “close up” shots of her in the wild– hunting, eating, resting, bathing. All was going well, until she disappeared on him. Several months later, a park ranger located her– and her five newborn cubs! The photographer knew he was taking a huge risk, but he drove his jeep (known to the mother cheetah) and went to the area where she was now caring for her young. He got out of the jeep and sat down in the grass nearby. Mother cheetah was nervous, but she did not attack. Hoping this was a good sign, the photographer did the unthinkable– he lay down in the grass, helpless, to show that he was not a threat. As he moved from the sitting position, the mother cheetah stood up and watched. As he lay sprawling on the ground, she too lay down, letting her cubs know that they were free to explore. They came over to the photographer– they bit at his toes, climbed all over him, and let him pet them and poke at them with his finger. He never sat up, lifted his head, or played rough with them. He never grabbed them by the nape or spoke. When they got tired of “the new thing” and returned to their mother, the photographer was able to sit up, move close to the family, and take some incredible photos of the whole group.
Why did this remind me of a child’s prayer? The photographer kept saying in the voice-over that it was all about trust– he was patiently building a relationship with this single cheetah for over a year and a half, showing her that he could be trusted. And he was rewarded by her reaction when he signaled that he wanted to be close to her cubs. His act of lying down and essentially putting his life in the balance caused her to respond with a similar act showing her trust was complete. And her act of trust signaled to her cubs that this “new thing” was safe to approach– he could be trusted. Gaining her trust was a matter of life and death for the photographer. A mother cheetah in the wild can run faster than a sports car and kill without a second thought to protect her young.
But she lay still and rested in her trust of this man.
How often do we “lay down” in our trust of God– stop brooding, worrying, fidgeting, and fighting to make sense of things, to build a safety net, to get ahead, to keep up with the neighbors, to feed our dreams and aspirations? The Psalmist in Psalm 23 says, “He makes me to lie down in green pastures…”
Trust isn’t just about lying down and resting– we are commanded to “Go” to “run the race” and to “stand firm in the faith”. But what would it look like if people could see followers of Christ at rest in the certainty of God’s provision and power? What if we opened our eyes to see God patiently building a relationship with us, waiting for the day that we would trust Him enough to enter our daily life? How much more might our children learn to trust God if they saw parents who followed God’s cue to lie down in peace and hope, instead of scurrying around trying to do God’s work in their own (used up) energy? What if, instead of praying with a morbid expectation of dying, we lay down to sleep, knowing that our soul is eternally safe, and that our future is secure and blessed because of the One who hears our prayer?
“Now I lay me down to sleep; I know the Lord my soul will keep. If I should live another day, He then will light my every way!”
Pursuing Prayer 