Have you ever watched a sporting event–a real nail-biter–and prayed for your team to win? Do you wonder if God is concerned about Little League or High School Basketball, or which team wins the Superbowl? And what about the parents and coaches on both teams praying to him–one side has to “lose”–how does God answer such prayers? DOES he answer such prayers?
While the Bible doesn’t give us a specific answer, I think there are some general principles that apply. When teams prepare for a big game, they may talk about their desire to win, they may study their opponents, assess their own strengths and weaknesses, and give themselves pep-talks about winning, but they don’t practice winning– they practice playing their best, improving those areas where they are weakest, and working to bring their best on game day. They don’t pray to win by default or by bad sportsmanship.
The apostle Paul uses athletic analogies for the Christian life– he talks about running the good race, fighting the good fight, and working to be worthy of the prize. But he doesn’t direct Christians to pray that God gives us a victory. Instead, he points out that the greatest victory– that over sin and death– has already been won! We don’t fight the battles wondering if our victory or loss will turn the tide of the war. We fight in the hope of strengthening our fellow warriors and bringing our victorious Savior more glory and honor.
This holds true in other areas as well. In politics, we fight to win, but not in desperation or despair, knowing that if we lose this battle, God is not defeated or even surprised by the outcome. Even in situations of corruption, despotism, and chaos, God can raise up leaders, topple evil powers, and bring renewal and revival. In war, we fight to win, we fight to defend what we know to be right; but even if we lose the battles, we don’t lose faith.
God doesn’t always give us “wins.” He doesn’t guarantee that we will never face setbacks or disappointments. In fact, sometimes we need to “lose.” We need to lose our selfish ambition, our pride, our drive to compare ourselves with others, our envy and greed, and our failure to submit to God’s best plan.
We pray for victory, but more than victory at any cost, we pray for God’s will to be victorious– for his strength to be shown even in and through our own weakness. We pray for victory on God’s terms– which may mean a painful loss today, and grieving for the night, but joy that comes in the morning. Great teams, great nations, great leaders– are not forged in continuous expectation of easy victory. Sometimes we learn more and become greater by learning from our failures.
Let’s not just pray to win– let’s pray to be more than conquerors (Romans 8:37)!
I started down the boulevard,
Freshly paved, smooth and gleaming,
Its lanes clearly marked and a gentle rise
Toward a glorious horizon.
New construction sites caught my eye;
Here was progress– here was the future!
I drove on, excited in my new course,
Dreaming of destiny and fulfillment.
Gradually, the scenery changed.
Construction gave way to abandoned projects:
Half-finished high-rises, silent storefronts,
Driveways leading nowhere, weedy parking lots.
Now the road, so smooth at the beginning,
Twisted and turned without purpose.
Gravel and broken pavement lined with
Abandoned cars and broken glass.
Frightening thoughts intruded–
I had seen no open stores, no gas stations,
No houses, or other cars for miles. I was alone.
There were no crossroads; no places to turn around.
The road that had begun with so much promise
Was now a rutted path going nowhere.
I woke up in a cold sweat– it had been a dream.
More– it had been a warning.
I had “good intentions” for my journey.
But the easy road, the appearance of future success
Had lured me away from the path marked with suffering
And paved with ancient truths.
I had packed no maps, ignored the GPS, and trusted to “instinct”
To lead me, not to a fixed destination, but to “discovery.”
I drifted back to sleep, and dreamed that I was back at the beginning.
Roads branched out all around me.
The gleaming new boulevard no longer held any appeal.
But now I studied the other roads.
There were so many; roads leading to “enlightenment”;
Roads offering “fame” and “immortality”;
Narrow paths promising “mysticism”;
Superhighways advertising “happiness.”
Off to the right, there was a tiny filling station–
The old fashioned kind, with a service man.
He offered to fill my tank, but then he said,
“They all end up in the same place, you know.”
I looked up into his eyes–eyes that held in them
The wisdom of the ages and boundless love.
“Enter in at the narrow gate…”
“I am the way, the truth, and the life…”
“This is the way, walk ye in it…”
He turned and walked through the back door
And I followed him down a sunlit path,
Up a small rise, and into glory.
7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
I have heard many sermons using this passage, and the sermons always focus on our (active) end of the directive–Ask! Seek! Knock! But what does this passage say about God?
God is omnipresent, and He has revealed Himself in creation, and through the lives of His people. But God is also reserved– He does not give us all the answers; He doesn’t spoil us by catering to our every wish; He keeps certain things behind closed doors.
“Knock, and the door will opened to you.” There is no mention of a key or key card, a pass code, or any need for ID– just knock. God will open the door. I imagine thousands of (figurative) doors in my life– opportunities, blessings, challenges, relationships– each beckoning. But the doors cannot be opened from the outside. I can strain and push, yell and shake my fist at the closed door in front of me, kick at it, even try to break it down. But if I knock, the door will be opened.
This doesn’t mean that I have no choices or free will as I go along. I can find other hallways, roadways, even freeways on which to travel. And there are opportunities along those paths and roads that are not waiting behind a door. But just like the questions we need to ask, and the quests for which we seek, the closed doors cause us to make a choice– will we knock or walk on? Will we try to open the door in our own power, or knock and let God open the door from His side?
Ask, seek, knock– God desires that we take steps toward Him. He will not walk away, or reject those who sincerely desire His presence. He will not give us “bad” gifts– though He allows us to walk through “the valley of the shadow of death”, He will not leave us there with no comfort or hope. He will not “lock us out” of His goodness or His Grace. In fact, HE stands at the door and knocks– waiting for US to open the door, as well.
Someone may say– “I turned away from the door, walked down my own path, and now I’m trapped behind a wall of doubt and guilt and bad choices. There are no doors left for me”. Jesus stands ready to change all that. There are no walls or dungeons He cannot enter– He will make a door, if that’s what it takes– just ask! You may have to climb over some of the debris, but He will pull you up and over any obstacle you can imagine.
Someone else may say, “I have prayed and prayed, and God hasn’t opened the door for me…” I don’t have an “easy” answer for you, and I don’t want to give a canned response– God isn’t a “one size fits all” God– His ways are good, but they are not always comprehensible. I can only give an example from my own life. I prayed for years that God would “open the door” for me to be married and have children. I met several wonderful men, some godly, others just really nice guys who don’t follow Jesus. I could have fallen into, or schemed my way into a marriage or sexual relationship with one of them– I could have tried to get pregnant for years before I found out I was barren. I might have made a marriage work, might have adopted children, might have…But I kept knocking on THE door– the one that God set before my heart and soul– the door that called me to enter and be close to Him– to do it His way or not at all. For over 25 years I knocked– sometimes faintly and with fear that the door would stay closed– sometimes with a sort of desperation. And one day, the door opened– God’s door, God’s way. I have no doubts or regrets about knocking at that door, or waiting for it to be opened from God’s side. I had imagined what was on the other side of that door–what I have received is perfectly sufficient, even as it is totally different from what I imagined. I never had children of my own– but as I waited for God’s timing, He led me to work with hundreds of children who blessed my life beyond description. And in waiting, He led me to opportunities I would never have had if the door had opened in MY timing. All I can say is this– God led me to desire something worthy and good and to His Glory. I believed it was marriage and family–but even if I were still unmarried today, I would not stop praying; not stop knocking; not stop trusting in God’s goodness and His wisdom for my life.
Another may say, “I knocked on a door, and God opened it, but it only brought me pain and misery.” Once again, I don’t have a quick or easy answer for you, and there is no answer that will magically take away pain and misery. I don’t want to invalidate or deny your experience, and I don’t want to claim that I know why God has allowed you to go through such an experience. I would only challenge you to be like Jacob, who wrestled with God and would not let go until he got a blessing. I don’t know why God withholds some answers and allows pain that seems needless and senseless. And even though I know of many instances where God has brought resolution and healing out of tragedy, I also know that it doesn’t erase all the tears and questions. My own experience brought years of depression, bitterness, and isolation even as it brought incredible growth and opportunity– I still have memories that bring tears and painful thoughts–but I know that healing is possible, and I still believe that God is “good”– I believe that God is with us even in our pain and sorrow. I believe that Jesus suffered greatly, not only on the cross, but throughout His earthly life– He faced rejection, betrayal, frustration, misunderstanding, hatred, bigotry, injustice, loneliness, homelessness, poverty, hunger, and more. Pain is intense, but it is not eternal. Evil is real and it is miserable, but it is not victorious.
Keep knocking. Your door may seem like the ultimate barrier, but God wants to open it for you.
7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
I used to own a small retail shop, and I came to recognize at least three different types of shoppers. There are the browsers– they had no clear idea of what they were looking for, and they spent their time looking at items and chatting. They may have ended up buying items, but they were just as likely to pick up an item, consider it, and then cast it aside if something else caught their eye, or their friends were ready to leave.
Then, there were the lookers. They would pick up certain items, look at the price, look at the color and size, hold it up, try it on (if it can be worn); they may even ask their friends’ advice. They had a particular need or desire, and they were looking for an item that would suit– or at least come close.
But the seekers– look out! They marched in, came right up to the counter and asked a host of specific questions. “Do you have_______________?” They had a description of the item they were seeking– size, color, brand or label–often very specific and they insisted that nothing else would do. If I assured them that I did not have that item in stock, they turned tail and walked away. If I said that I had something similar, they may have let me bring it out for inspection–reluctantly– but one glance was all it took for them to make up their minds. If I suggested something else, they were likely to shake their head(s) and walk away. They may have come back in a week or month, or even the next year, looking for the same item, or something else, but they came with the same pulsing energy, and excitement. Price was generally no object. The fact that I didn’t have the item they were looking for did not diminish their excitement or desire to find “that one item” that brought them through my door. They may have walked out with nothing, but I was treated to several minutes of description of a special item: what made is special, how long they had been looking, all the close-calls and “might-have-beens.” I learned a lot about antiques and collectibles I had never heard of before our encounter!
We live in a world of browsers– in fact, our search engines/internet information-gathering applications are called “browsers”. We enter a keyword, the application brings back dozens or thousands of possible sites, and we “browse” through our options until we find one that seems to give us the information we want or need. This is fine if we are looking for general information. It becomes frustrating if we are looking for an exact website, unless we know its domain name or URL.
In pursuing prayer, and “seeking” a closer relationship with God, sometimes, I stoop to browsing– I’m not really seeking His face, just looking around for encouragement or validation or a vague warm, fuzzy “feeling”. God is a rewarder of those who seek Him. Earnestly, diligently, fervently. We are not called to browse idly, but to seek boldly.
I used to work with teens. Sometimes I would organize a scavenger hunt, or a treasure hunt. Teams would form, clues or lists would be given, along with a time limit. Students would run, climb, dig, crawl, scamper, push, sweep, turn things over, and under, and all around–all in the pursuit of a clue or an item for a game. How much more might we see God’s response if we brought this kind of energy and passion to our prayer life?
7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
I’m really bad about asking for help. I don’t mind asking for advice or opinions– I can listen and take the advice or ignore it; accept someone else’s opinion or not. But asking for help puts a certain obligation to accept whatever help is given. It also announces that you have a need; that you are struggling and can’t do “it” on your own. This is especially true in situations where we are embarrassed to admit to shortcomings, inabilities, or perceived failures.
Asking is difficult for most of us. Not just because we must swallow our pride and admit to a need, but because we must hope that whoever we ask will be willing or able to meet that need. Asking becomes more difficult when we don’t know who we can trust. Admitting weakness to someone who is kind is a small risk–it may bruise our pride, or cause the other person to pity us. Asking for help from someone who is deceitful, arrogant, incompetent, or abusive is a recipe for disaster.
Sometimes, we are afraid to ask for help because we sense that there is no help to be given. We wallow in despair, thinking all is lost or hopeless. But fear and despair are not wise counselors–they cannot help us out of our problems; they can’t even see beyond the current chaos or the next panic. Sometimes, we are too proud to ask someone else to do what we feel we should be able to do– others can manage, others can triumph “on their own”– not realizing that they had help along the way, or that they need help in other areas where we are strong.
And sometimes, we don’t want the kind of “help” that is offered. We want help to stay in our comfort zone, even if it means bondage to addiction, or losing an opportunity that comes only with hard work or sacrifice. We want someone to lie to us, keep us comfortable, or flatter us, when our greatest need is someone to challenge us, coach us, and give us the truth, even when it stings. In fact, if we have grown lethargic, entitled, and arrogant, we won’t ask for help– we will demand a lesser form of help that enables us to stay as we are and not help us become who we were meant to be.
So consider this as you pray today– the God of the Universe– creator of galaxies and microcosms, ruler of eternity, the God who hears every sigh of every human on the face of the planet and knows who made it and why, the God who gave His only Son to fulfill the law and restore your soul–this God is waiting for you to ASK Him for help, for guidance, for wisdom, for your daily needs, for forgiveness that only He can give completely. And He promises to give good gifts– joy, peace, hope, love. He will not scorn us in our need– He already knows it, Why are you waiting?
I pray every day. But why? There are short, glib answers– “Prayer works,” or “The Bible tells me to.” Or I could say that it’s just a “good” habit, or that it “does something” for me. But prayer is more complex than that. I can give a lot of generic reasons for someone to pray. I can list (and have listed) many benefits of regular prayer. But what are my personal reasons for praying?
Prayer does “do something” for me– lots of somethings. Not every time; not always in the same measure, but prayer can:
Put me in a better mindset; it changes my focus and my attitude. When I pray, the world around me shrinks, along with all the worries and distractions it presents. Instead, I begin to focus on “God” things– the metaphysical reality that I am not the center of the universe, and my limited understanding is not enough to navigate life in its fullest sense. Jesus offers “abundant life” (See John 10:10)– life to the full. And prayer ignites that, taps into that, and lifts me from futility and confusion to meet with One who sees the end from the beginning.
“Recharge my batteries.” Prayer, meditation, “quiet time”– they are all similar, and they all have a physical benefit. Spending time in prayer can lower blood pressure, promote clearer thinking, and increase a person’s ability to withstand stress. Prayer can improve mood, but it can also improve the body’s ability to fight off depression, infection, and other stress-related issues. This is very personal for me, because I have struggled with stress and depression at various times in my life, and prayer can calm me, help me to change negative thought patterns, and endure hardship better than anything else. (Please note this does not mean that I don’t also need to do other things– proper diet, plenty of sleep, hydration are all necessary. Some people may require medication– prayer is not a substitute for good health advice, rather it is an integral part of being physically and spiritually healthy.)
Deepen my faith. God doesn’t always give immediate and clear answers to my prayers. In fact, it may feel sometimes as though He has forgotten me. So why continue to pray? Because God DOES answer prayer. Often, He answers in surprising and unexpected ways. Sometimes His answers come so slowly, so subtly, that I might miss them– if I weren’t keeping track. This is one of the great benefits of keeping a prayer journal or diary…I will often see an old entry, one that I had given up on or forgotten, and realize that God answered it weeks ago without any startling revelation or dramatic rescue. If I only pray when I expect God to do the impossible immediately, I may miss the development of something even more amazing that I imagined!
Become a vital part of my discipleship. Being a disciple literally involves discipline…I can’t say that I follow Christ part-time. Ignoring daily habits, like prayer and Bible study; failing to make time for fellowship with others; depending on my feelings instead of God’s Truth to guide my life– is hypocritical. Also, prayer should open my heart and mind to others who need to BE discipled. And this leads me to another benefit…Prayer can
Help me develop empathy for others. As I pray for others, I learn more about the struggles they face; I learn about their deeper needs. For instance, I may begin praying for someone with a chronic illness to be healed. And that is good. But as I pray for them daily, I learn that along with healing, they desire help with everyday chores that they can no longer do, or they need support and encouragement. Maybe they need rides to doctor appointments and tests. If I am praying for someone struggling with past mistakes or addictions, I learn to see with eyes of compassion and encouragement, rather than judgment and self-righteousness. It’s not just about praying for the “big” needs but learning to pray for (and find ways to help with!) intermediate needs as well. Finally, prayer can…
Remind me that I am never alone! I don’t pray to a brick wall, nor do I pray in a vacuum. I LOVE meeting with our local prayer group every week. I love hearing the others pray. I love being reminded that God listens to my prayers– The Father listens; The Son is my intercessor; The Spirit translates even my groans and mumbles–God delights in hearing from me! (See Zechariah 3:17; Hebrews 13:5; others)
So, Yes, I would say that “Prayer works.” But not in the sense that I can show that God has answered my requests exactly how or when I wanted. There are prayers I have prayed for most of my life that have not been answered “my way” yet. Reckoning with hurtful words and deeds from my past; family members who still haven’t accepted Christ; friends who are still facing the consequences of sinful life choices; situations and circumstances that I would like to see changed. And I don’t have any jaw-dropping evidence that my prayers can cure cancer or end world hunger or make my life problem-free. Quite the opposite. But I DO have evidence that Prayer has made a difference in my life; that I HAVE seen lives changed in ways that are impossible to explain away; that prayer is worth pursuing.
Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one. None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. (Romans 8:26-38– The Message. Emphases added)
I keep a Prayer Journal– (for more info, click here: Prayer Journal). In my prayer journal, I have lists of names– people I pray for on their birthday or anniversary; people I pray for on the anniversary of a loved ones’ death; people who are hurting or in need at a particular time– and some days, the list seems very long. Sometimes the names on my lists are people I know well, but other names are there because I knew them well in the past, or because they are important to people I know well, but I don’t really know them personally. Often, I don’t really know how best to pray for an individual on my list. But imagine if Jesus were to keep a written prayer journal! He doesn’t just pray for people on special occasions or even in their time of trial– He prays continually for all who are His! And He knows each one intimately– He knows our every need better than we do!
You and I (if we are followers of Christ) are CONTINUALLY on His mind, and CONTINUALLY in His prayers! In fact, His Spirit even inhabits our groans and fumbled or aborted prayers. There is not a moment or a set of circumstances in which Jesus has turned His back on us or been distracted by something else. He is our Eternal Advocate, our Ever-Present Help, and our Heavenly prayer-warrior!
What a comfort to know that I don’t have to know exactly how or what to pray in order to lift up my heart-cry to God. My words may be muddled, my mind distracted by fleeting worries or doubts, but if I have placed my trust in Christ, I will never pray in vain. I may not be able to understand how or why or when God will work; I may not understand how my prayers fit into God’s overall plans. But I can pray with confidence that comes from knowing that God is Good, and Christ is my liaison with all that is Sovereign and Good. I cannot be separated from any of that by my own inadequacies or my lack of understanding. I cannot be kept apart from God by any personal failings or any forces working against me. And my fumbling prayers cannot be intercepted or twisted or negated by the enemy.
Your name is on Jesus’s prayer “list”; you are in His constant prayers before the Father. And each of your prayers is personally siphoned through the Holy Spirit and the Son to be presented– perfected– to the Father! What a captivating and encouraging thought! What an Amazing God we serve!
Today, I prayed. I thanked God for Who He Is, and I lifted up those who are sick or needy. I thanked Him for my family and friends, for the freedom to worship without fear, for His faithfulness in providing food and shelter and comforts. I asked Him for wisdom to guide me through the new week; that I would say and do things to bring Him honor and glory.
It was a nice prayer. A safe prayer.
I didn’t cry out my unworthiness, nor did I boldly rejoice in His Holiness, laid over me by His son’s blood. I didn’t plead with Him on behalf of the lost and suffering. I didn’t rage at the continued injustice and evil I see around me. I didn’t spend precious hours listening as He whispered assurances to my soul. I didn’t worship in the splendor of His Lovingkindness.
I got up from prayer, feeling mildly better– I had done my duty. I had spoken with God…or spoken AT Him…I left feeling unchanged.
I sat down to write this blog on prayer. God forgive me for thinking I have more to say to an unseen readership than to You, my Creator!
Most days, I post about Pursuing Prayer from the “praying” end…how do I pray, what attitude do I have about praying, why do I pray, etc.
Today, I want to explore the “responding” end…how do I know when God is answering my prayer, or what he’s asking me to do in response to his will? While I don’t have a complete answer, I do want to share some wisdom– some from experience and some from Biblical principles and others’ testimony.
Isaiah 55:8-9English Standard Version (ESV)
8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform. He plants his footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm. William Cowper
It often surprises people to learn that “God works in mysterious ways” is not actually in the Bible. God’s ways are NOT our ways, and his thoughts are not our thoughts, but his answers to prayer are not always obscure and unknowable. God does not delight in vexing us and making us guess and second-guess his will. It would be easy if God always answered our prayers with a flashing neon sign that gave a simple, one-sentence directive– “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.” “Click your heels together and say, ‘There’s no place like home.'” “Hakuna Matata.” But pithy platitudes and easy answers are not God’s way, either. God created each of us as a unique reflection of his divine image– his answers will be uniquely designed to fulfill his will and meet our deepest needs, not always in ways we expect or understand.
So how do we discern God’s will when there is no neon sign or simple answer to our prayers? Here are a few guiding principles:
God will NEVER answer your prayer by contradicting himself or compromising his holiness.
God will not answer your prayer for money by giving you an opportunity to cheat or steal. He will not answer your prayer for a husband by throwing you into the arms of someone else’s.
Just because God doesn’t send a lightning bolt or physically stop you from doing something doesn’t mean that he has given his OK. If he ALLOWS you to sin, that doesn’t mean that he APPROVES of your sin or that it is his answer to your prayer.
God will never ask you to do harm to yourself or others as an answer to your prayer. Vengeance, sacrifice, atonement, and retribution are the province of God alone. I believe that God asks us to be vigilant in defense, and allows us to take up arms in defense, but to initiate a feud, to seek personal vengeance, or to act out vigilante justice is to flout both God’s authority and the authority of the powers God has set in place over us.
God MAY use circumstances or people to answer your prayer. But the same principle above applies– circumstances that lead to sinful actions are NOT God’s answer to your prayer; people who advise you to do what you know is contrary to God’s holiness are not sent from God– no matter how appealing the prospect, no matter how powerful the person or persons. That being said, God may choose to use the most unlikely of persons or events to bring about a resolution to your need–LET HIM! Don’t judge a gift by the size, the shape, or the wrapping paper!
God may use time to answer your prayer. I prayed for a husband from the time I was a young girl– I married at age 46. Waiting doesn’t mean that God has forgotten about you; it doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthy of an answer or ready for an answer– sometimes your answer isn’t ready for you! There are two caveats I want to share from my own experience of waiting for an answer:
Don’t give up! God knows the desires of your heart– but keep praying anyway. Well-meaning people will say awful, hurtful things– that you aren’t praying enough, or praying the “right” way; that you must be hiding un-confessed sin; that you need to try some other way to get what you want, or to hurry God along. In my case, I had people trying to fix me up, suggest dating services, remind me that my “clock” was ticking (it was broken, but they didn’t know that), or suggest that it just wasn’t God’s will that I marry, and I should pray for him to take away the desire for a husband. Listen to folks like this (if you must) with half an ear and less than 10% of your heart– let them cause you to re-examine your heart and your desires, but don’t let them cause you to give up or doubt God. That was not their intention, but it can often be the result of their ill-considered words.
Do the next right thing. Doing nothing while you wait for the perfect answer gets you nowhere. Wringing your hands and pacing gets you nowhere. God wants our trust and our obedience. As we wait for more specific direction, we need to trust that doing the next right thing IS the RIGHT thing to do. This was the hardest lesson for me, but the one I most needed to learn. So while I waited, I moved ahead step-by-step. I made a lot of friends, gained a lot of experiences, and learned about marriage by watching the examples of others (both good and bad). I got involved working with children, first as a secondary teacher, and then as a librarian. I got to spend nearly thirty years of my working life surrounded by young people. I got to laugh with them, love on them, mentor them, dream with them, discipline them, and cry over them (and send them home). I didn’t just “settle for” a single lifestyle– I learned to embrace it. I learned to be grateful for the wonderful opportunities I had as a single woman, and to anticipate the changes that marriage would bring, should it come along. I learned that marriage should be a means to an end, not the end itself– that marriage done right is not about my growth and fulfillment; not even about his growth and fulfillment; but about OUR growth together and toward Godliness.
Trust “that voice in your head”– (not the one that speaks out loud and gets you strange looks!) –but your God-given conscience, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. “That still, small voice” is often the most personal way God speaks to us. In my own life, it was taking the risk to leave a career I loved (teaching) to reach for a deeper dependence on God. I left the security of my teaching position for three part-time jobs (at one point), no health insurance, and a move to a new community where I knew virtually no one. I had other choices, other more appealing options, chances to reconsider. I wasn’t being pushed out of teaching–in fact, I left just as my options at the school were opening up for bigger and better things. Yet I felt compelled to leave. I had no safety net waiting– I ended up in libraries, but that wasn’t my original plan. There were many people counseling me to reconsider– and their reasons were compelling. But as I stood firm, other voices came along to encourage me. I believe they were sent by God to confirm that this risk was from him and for my good.
Don’t trust “that voice in your head”–No, I’m not trying to confuse you or contradict what I just said. But this is another caveat (see above). We are told to “test the spirits”, and sometimes, that voice in your head is NOT the Holy Spirit. In the case I mentioned above, I had to follow all the other principles of discerning God’s will. In my case, leaving teaching did not violate God’s holiness or come about because I wasn’t willing to follow God’s leading–I wasn’t leaving teaching to try my hand at a get-rich-quick scheme, or because I had lost my desire to work with students, or had lost faith in God’s sovereignty in my life. God DID use circumstances and people to confirm my decision and help me grow through the experiences that followed. God used time to help me transition from schools to libraries, and prepare me for other opportunities, including short-term missions trips and marriage. I can’t even begin to list all the ways I tested and examined what I felt God was leading me to do before I made the leap. That much testing may not always be necessary, but we need to be careful not to rely on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6), but to Trust in the Lord with all our hearts. He WILL direct our paths when we do that.
Finally, Pray for it– pray for discernment, for wisdom, for strength to do the right thing! Won’t God DO IT!
We used to teach children to say bedtime prayers by rote:
Now I lay me down to sleep; I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.
I don’t actually remember praying this exact prayer at bedtime– partly because it seemed morbid and conjured the stuff of nightmares more than peaceful rest. Thankfully, my parents taught me more about praying than just this little prayer. We learned the Lord’s Prayer, and to lift up our friends and family to God’s care. We prayed for family stationed far from home, family members who were ill or suffering in some way, and for neighbors and classmates we cared about. We prayed for missionaries and the people and places that called them far away. We prayed for our nation and leaders. And we prayed confession, and thanksgiving, and worship, and intercession.
But I was reminded of this old prayer when I watched a video our aunt sent us the other day. It was a short documentary about a nature photographer who spent over 18 months building up trust with a wild cheetah in order to get “close up” shots of her in the wild– hunting, eating, resting, bathing. All was going well, until she disappeared on him. Several months later, a park ranger located her– and her five newborn cubs! The photographer knew he was taking a huge risk, but he drove his jeep (known to the mother cheetah) and went to the area where she was now caring for her young. He got out of the jeep and sat down in the grass nearby. Mother cheetah was nervous, but she did not attack. Hoping this was a good sign, the photographer did the unthinkable– he lay down in the grass, helpless, to show that he was not a threat. As he moved from the sitting position, the mother cheetah stood up and watched. As he lay sprawling on the ground, she too lay down, letting her cubs know that they were free to explore. They came over to the photographer– they bit at his toes, climbed all over him, and let him pet them and poke at them with his finger. He never sat up, lifted his head, or played rough with them. He never grabbed them by the nape or spoke. When they got tired of “the new thing” and returned to their mother, the photographer was able to sit up, move close to the family, and take some incredible photos of the whole group.
Why did this remind me of a child’s prayer? The photographer kept saying in the voice-over that it was all about trust– he was patiently building a relationship with this single cheetah for over a year and a half, showing her that he could be trusted. And he was rewarded by her reaction when he signaled that he wanted to be close to her cubs. His act of lying down and essentially putting his life in the balance caused her to respond with a similar act showing her trust was complete. And her act of trust signaled to her cubs that this “new thing” was safe to approach– he could be trusted. Gaining her trust was a matter of life and death for the photographer. A mother cheetah in the wild can run faster than a sports car and kill without a second thought to protect her young.
But she lay still and rested in her trust of this man.
How often do we “lay down” in our trust of God– stop brooding, worrying, fidgeting, and fighting to make sense of things, to build a safety net, to get ahead, to keep up with the neighbors, to feed our dreams and aspirations? The Psalmist in Psalm 23 says, “He makes me to lie down in green pastures…”
Trust isn’t just about lying down and resting– we are commanded to “Go” to “run the race” and to “stand firm in the faith”. But what would it look like if people could see followers of Christ at rest in the certainty of God’s provision and power? What if we opened our eyes to see God patiently building a relationship with us, waiting for the day that we would trust Him enough to enter our daily life? How much more might our children learn to trust God if they saw parents who followed God’s cue to lie down in peace and hope, instead of scurrying around trying to do God’s work in their own (used up) energy? What if, instead of praying with a morbid expectation of dying, we lay down to sleep, knowing that our soul is eternally safe, and that our future is secure and blessed because of the One who hears our prayer?
“Now I lay me down to sleep; I know the Lord my soul will keep. If I should live another day, He then will light my every way!”
Pursuing Prayer 