When God Doesn’t (Seem to) Answer…

Prayer is a conversation with God. But sometimes it can seem like a one-sided conversation. We have pressing needs for healing, or strength to bear up under stress or oppression. Sometimes, we pray for our loved ones’ struggles against addiction or wrong choices. And God seems silent.

Sometimes, it’s better to get an answer we don’t like than no answer at all. When I was younger, I prayed for a family– a dream family with a handsome husband (preferably wealthy), three adorable and well-behaved children (I already had names picked out..), and maybe a beloved family pet, all living in a beautiful house with a big back yard, and maybe a small woods. I waited and prayed; prayed and waited. When I was in my thirties, still waiting and praying, I found out that I have several health problems– none of them life-threatening, but they mean that the chances that I would ever have had children are slim to none. I would never have the pleasure of watching my own children grow up; never know the joy of having a little voice calling me “mommy.”

But God had not abandoned me. In my careers as a teacher and a children’s librarian (careers I had begun before I knew I couldn’t have children of my own), I had the joy of working with hundreds of children across a spectrum of ages, from nearly newborn through college! My memories are filled with a choir of voices calling me Miss Toney or Miss Lila (as I was known then). God had not closed the door on my dream– he had opened a window.

It wasn’t the answer I had hoped for, but it was an answer. However, I was still single. I didn’t want to be single. I didn’t feel it was what God wanted for my life, yet He didn’t seem to be listening or giving me any sign that He heard or understood. There was only silence. No promising relationships– only a few scattered dates over the long years–a few budding friendships, and many lonely days and nights.

There were many helpful friends and family with suggestions, ideas, advice, comforting thoughts, or “explanations.” “God is waiting for you to become more mature in your walk with Him.” “God is saving the best for last.” “You’re too picky (I was never quite sure what that meant in light of the scarcity of dates, but…)” “You need to ‘get out there’ more–have you tried on-line dating? (I did. It was ‘meh’..).” “You should change jobs– single men are not hanging out at the library.” “You should change churches– find one with more single men.” But God stayed silent through my thirties and into my forties.

I did take some of the very good advice I received. I signed up to do short term missions trips. I traveled when I could, with family and friends, and even on my own. I read and went back to college. I spent time in the woods and at the beach, meditating, singing, or just enjoying God’s nature. I got “involved” in various volunteer opportunities. I joined the church choir. And I continued to pray.

By the time I was squarely in my forties, I had decided to stop praying for a husband, to stop hoping, and praying, and seeking, and dreaming. And God said nothing. But I began getting phone calls from an old friend– someone I had known in childhood–in fact, the very first boy I had ever dated, nearly 30 years before! At first, I listened to his voice-mail messages, but didn’t return his calls. I was annoyed, and even a bit angry. After all this time, was God laughing at me? Did He really expect me to go all the way back to the very beginning and start over?

David and I on our wedding day.

Finally, I let go of my pride, and my ancient dream– I decided to give David a chance. Maybe it would lead to another (renewed) friendship. Maybe it would be another disappointment. But it led to a new dream. It led to marriage, and a huge extended family, including David’s wonderful children, and three adorable (and mostly well-behaved) grandchildren. My husband is kind, and honorable, and Godly. He is a treasure. And God’s timing is perfect, even as it is mysterious. God didn’t withhold marriage as a bargaining chip to get me to “grow up,” or grant it as a “reward” for going on a couple of mission trips. God was silent–but He wasn’t absent. He saw every teardrop, rejoiced in every busy child-filled day at work, smiled at every snapshot of every natural wonder, every Teddy Bear picnic, every Bible School. He want along on every date, kept track of all the hundreds of books I read over the years, and hovered over the dinner table set for one every night. I committed my life to serving Him– whether I was single or married, alone, or surrounded by children. His ways are higher, and better, and wiser than mine.

I may never understand why God allowed me to travel the roads that have been set before me. And my roads could have looked much different. I could have married young, unaware of my barrenness, and ended up bitter and feeling guilty about my body for years before I was diagnosed. I might have had a child (or children), and become proud and controlling and fearful. I might have made idols of my “dream” husband and family.

I know many dozens of people who are praying into the “silence” and waiting for God’s answer. Some are praying for healing. They may pray for days in the hospital, only to lose their loved one. They may pray for weeks or months, as their child battles chronic illness. They may pray for years as they battle depression and loneliness. God may seem silent. But He is never absent. His ways sometimes lead to a happy ending in this life. Sometimes, they lead us to have greater understanding and compassion for others. Sometimes, they lead us to unexpected purposes and goals– adventures beyond what we have ever dreamed of. Sometimes, they lead to a legacy that we cannot see this side of death. He does not promise us the answer we want, when or how we want it. He doesn’t promise us an easy or “happy” answer on the road ahead of us in this life. What He does promise is that He will never forsake us. Long after we have been tempted to give up, to doubt, to turn away, God will still be waiting– sometimes in the silence– for the perfect moment, the perfect justice, the perfect word, the perfect solution.

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Praying Like Daniel

The Bible tells a story of Daniel, and when I was a child, I always focused on the dramatic part of the story. Daniel was “set up” by some of his rivals, and he ended up being thrown into a den of lions. But God shut the mouths of the lions, and Daniel was rescued. Indeed, his accusers were later given the same sentence and the lions gobbled them up in short order! (See Daniel 6 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Daniel%206&version=NIV) Daniel’s miraculous rescue astounded even the king who had sentenced him! And it has served as a testimony of God’s faithfulness and His power to save those who love Him.

But, as in most Bible stories, there is much more going on behind the scenes. Daniel’s enemies were able to set him up because of his very public habit of praying three times a day to the God of Israel. Morning, noon, and night, Daniel fell to his knees, right in front of his open window, and prayed. We don’t know if his prayers were said aloud, shouted out for all the world to hear, but his habit was visible– it was well-known among his neighbors, friends, and enemies and it was unvarying. Daniel did not brag about his habits, or “force his beliefs” on others. But it was clear that his success and his wisdom were directly related to his devotion to God. Daniel’s enemies could find no other way to bring about his downfall, so they resorted to a trick.

Daniel’s enemies devised a clever scheme. While his habits were well-known among most people, they were not known or respected by the new king. Darius had just taken over the land, after the disastrous regency of Belshazzar (see Daniel 5). He was a wise ruler, and he had appointed 120 satraps (officials) to administer the various regions in this kingdom. Over these 120 officials, he had three special administrators, one of whom was Daniel. But Daniel had so distinguished himself, that Darius planned to put him in charge over all the others– second only to the king. Darius knew that Daniel was a brilliant administrator. But he didn’t know about Daniel’s devotion to God. And so, Daniel’s enemies capitalized on this one aspect of Daniel’s character.

Darius was approached by a group of his officials and convinced into signing an edict making it illegal (and punishable by death!) for anyone, anywhere in the kingdom to pray to any god or human being — except King Darius–for an entire month. Like so many such schemes, the object here had nothing to do with honoring King Darius, stamping out religious extremism, or any of the other so-called “reasons” they gave. And nowhere in the text does it mention that anyone else in the kingdom was “charged” under this new edict. In other words, their sole purpose was to “eliminate the threat” of Daniel being given power over them (and, possibly, their corrupt practices).

How easy it might have been for Daniel to avoid getting “caught” praying during that time. In theory, he could have shut his window. He could have taken thirty days “off,” trusting that God would know the circumstances. He could have simply prayed in a different part of his house– standing up, or walking around– and silently, surreptitiously changed his habit every so slightly. He could even have lied, saying that he was following the new law and praying to the King. But he never offered an excuse or tried to justify his disobedience of the corrupt law.

Why did someone as brilliant as Daniel not take a few simple steps to avoid the lion’s den?

The answer to this question requires a look at the context of Daniel’s life. This incident takes place near the end of Daniel’s life. He was likely in his eighties or nineties! He had been in captivity since he was a teenager. He had been ripped from his homeland, and sent to a place with a completely different language, culture, and religion. And he had served at least four different kings over several decades. He had survived other attempts to force him to compromise, blend in, and be like others around him. He had seen other schemes to corrupt worship of the One True God. He had survived other threats to his life. And through all those years, we have every reason to believe that Daniel’s habit of prayer had grown stronger, not weaker. The same teen who prayed fervently that God would allow him to return to his homeland was still on his knees– every day– praying for deliverance. Even while he faithfully served his captors, he prayed. At no time did Daniel ever experience this deliverance. For all we know of the Bible story, Daniel died in Babylon– still a captive.

But Daniel’s prayers reached Heaven. Later in the book that bears his name, Daniel tells of extraordinary visions he received about Babylon, Israel, and other nations and empires that would arise in the future. Daniel’s faithfulness and devotion serve as examples, even for our own age. But Daniel prayed all those years without seeing his hopes fulfilled in his lifetime.

Do I have the courage and conviction of Daniel? Oh, what we might experience if more of us were “guilty” of praying like Daniel prayed! If someone tried to “set me up” like Daniel’s enemies did– would there be enough evidence to convict me of being a Christian? Would someone be able to “catch” me praying at home every day? Without fear or compromise? Would I give up after a year in captivity? Would I stop praying if I were being laughed at? Arrested? Persecuted?

Do I give up when I don’t get an immediate answer to my prayers? Do I decide it’s just too difficult to keep praying for “my impossible?” For unsaved relatives, or unresolved health problems? For peace in war-torn areas, or relief for famine-ravaged regions?

I love Matthew West’s song about this issue, and I have attached a video. I hope it inspires you as it has inspired me to keep praying– knowing that God has “heard every single word you’re sayin’.”

Let’s resolve to pray like Daniel– Don’t stop! Don’t compromise! Don’t give up!

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But Not Yet…

I really need to go on that diet.
I really should call my Aunt Kay.
I need an hour of peace and quiet.
And time to sit and pray.

But I’m scrolling through Facebook.
I’m following the news.
I just need another look;
This meme has so many views..

I should greet that new couple at church.
I should make them feel at home.
But I need a cup of coffee first.
And my hair should be re-combed.

My Bible waits by my chair–
Unread these past four days.
Later, I know it will still be there–
Ready to catch my gaze

Tomorrow, or the next day.
God will understand.
I want to follow His Way,
But this wasn’t what I planned.

I got caught up in a magazine
I stopped to shoot the breeze–
My house is needing to be cleaned
Before I get on my knees.

I “had to,” “should have,” “had a mind”
To spend time with God, and yet
My day’s flown past, and now I find
I’ve only time to fret.

“Not yet” was my sad refrain
“Not yet” kept me on the go.
“Not yet” robbed me once again
Of time spent with One who loves me so.

And so my day was filled and rife
With wasted time and small regrets.
I missed the more abundant life
Of trust grown from obedience.

The internet will still be there
Tomorrow and the next day;
But the trust built up in an hour of prayer
Can never be taken away.

Today may be busy with “urgent” needs and countless distractions. But there will only be one “today” to meet with God– in prayer, Bible study, meditation, and worship. What is my priority today? Even if I can’t “find” an entire hour in my busy schedule, have I made a plan and a priority to meet with God? Am I searching for opportunities to serve Him and encourage others, or am I too busy searching for my own entertainment and fulfillment? What are the empty things in my life that I should be telling, “Not yet?”

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The Righteous Will Live By Faith

“Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked, but the righteous will live by their faith.”

Habakkuk 2:4

Is it rational to believe in God? About three and a half centuries ago, the French philosopher, Blaise Pascal, drew up what is now known as “Pascal’s Wager.” In it, he gives a “rational” justification for belief in God (theism). In it, he posits that if God doesn’t exist, it doesn’t matter whether or not we believe that He does. But if God is real, the consequences of our belief or denial are crucial. If the God of the Bible exists (along with heaven and hell, sin and salvation), the failure to believe will lead us to lose everything; the decision to believe will lead us to gain everything…there is no in between.

I’m not a big fan of Pascal’s Wager. Not because it’s bad logic, per se, but because it depends on belief, but not faith.

What’s the difference? Belief says that God exists–that He is supreme, that He controls our destiny, and that He must be obeyed. It will produce a life of theistic obedience to God’s Law, including a life of “good” works, moral conduct, and “right” thinking. But it will not produce a Godly character. It will not be a life of righteousness.

Faith, on the other hand, believes that God not only exists, but that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him (Hebrews 11:6) and that He so loved the world, that He gave His only Son (John 3:16) to save us from Sin and Death (1 Corinthians 15:56-7). It is not our belief in God’s existence that saves us and gives us life; rather it is Faith by His Grace! (Ephesians 2:8-9) in the nature and character of God– in the atoning work of Jesus as revelation and proof of His character– that saves us from Sin and Death.

Pascal’s Wager is a way of thinking about God. It can lead someone to believe, which can produce a life of Faith. But it can also produce a kind of life that is ruled by grudging obedience, resentment, and pride in one’s own powers of self-control and understanding. Faith lives in dependence and humility, and joyous gratitude for God’s gifts.

The prophet Habakkuk, who first wrote the phrase, “the righteous will live by faith,” learned this lesson in dramatic fashion. He “believed” in God– in His righteousness and justice. He spoke to God about the wickedness he saw all around him, among his own people. God gave him a difficult answer: Justice was coming in the form of an invasion by the Babylonians– a group known for their wickedness and cruelty and lack of justice! God’s answer was shocking and counter-intuitive. But Habakkuk chose to believe and put his faith in God’s Eternal Character, as God revealed the “rest of the story.” Israel would suffer; justice would be cruel–but God’s glory and His salvation would triumph. Habakkuk’s response was a song of praise. Regardless of his circumstances, Habakkuk would wait and rejoice, knowing that God’s ways are perfect.

It’s not difficult to say we believe in God. But are we living in Faith? I find it easy to let circumstances–especially injustice and wickedness–overwhelm me and rob me of peace and joy. But I find it comforting to know that my momentary doubts cannot stop God’s promises, His Mercy, or His power to help me live by Faith. That’s due to His righteousness, not mine, but through Christ, I can trust in it, walk in it, and live in it!

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Close to the Broken Hearted

As I write this, I am keenly aware that one year ago, I was at a graveside, saying farewell to my mother. Grieving comes in waves. I rejoice that she is in heaven, and I rejoice that she had a good, long life, and that she didn’t suffer very long at the end. But there is still an ache– wanting to share a memory or a laugh and knowing she isn’t here; questions I didn’t know I had, but now she can’t answer them; just missing her voice and her smile. My father has been gone for 25 years, and the same ache still hits at odd moments.

Sometimes, grieving brings us closer to God. At other times, we can let our grief drive us away from God. But God doesn’t move. He is ever-present. And He reminds us that He is “close to the broken hearted” (Psalm 34:18). When we are grieving, that is a blessed reminder. Grief tends to isolate us. “No one understands…” “Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you; cry, and you cry alone.” We see the “rest of the world” enjoying life, seemingly untouched by sorrow, and we feel abandoned twice over.

As Christians, we are called to follow Jesus’ example, and be close to the broken hearted. We should be the ones ready with a hug, a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on. We should be the ones who, like the friends of Job (before they offered ill-advised ‘counsel’) are willing to sit with our suffering friends for days at a time, offering the comfort of solidarity and ‘presence.’

My family was blessed with a host of Christian friends and family who comforted us in the days and weeks after Mom’s passing. They still ask. They still share memories. They still pray for us. And in return, we do the same. God does not want any of us to suffer alone.

And this is also true for those who suffer a broken heart for other reasons– divorce, the loss of a home to fire or flood, the loss of a job, a wayward son or daughter– it is important for us to draw strength from others, and offer strength in our turn. But the source of our strength is Jesus, who suffered on our behalf, and rose victorious over death and separation. When “no one” understands, He DOES. When the world leaves us grieving alone, He is THERE. And when we see someone else grieving and suffering, and we don’t know what to do– He gives us the strength and the compassion to reach beyond our own resources and offer comfort.

On our own, we can be like Job’s friends– after awhile, we try to offer solutions, explanations, even judgment about another’s grief. “It’s time to move on.” “Just get over it.” “Well, if only you had…” None of these are helpful. Jesus never said any of those things to the people He came to comfort. Instead, He encouraged them to look to Him as the “resurrection and the life.” (see John 11:25).

Today, let us do the same. There are hurting people all around us. Let’s be an encouragement to others to embrace life– even when we are broken hearted.

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At the Impulse of Thy Love

Sometimes, I am impulsive. I blurt out my thoughts and emotions; I end up buying a candy bar as I finish checking out my groceries; I decide to turn left at the intersection instead of going straight. Generally, impulsive actions are frowned upon. They can be foolish, wasteful, even dangerous. God does not call on us to be foolish or thoughtless, but there are times when He wants us to act on HIS impulse– to obey without stopping to weigh the pros and cons, without stopping to consider how we will appear to others or how obedience might “mess up” our carefully planned day.

Have you ever felt the “impulse” of God’s love moving you to an unexpected action? Maybe you had a sudden urge to speak to a stranger on a train, or get in touch with an old friend. Maybe you felt compelled to give a gift to someone or stop and offer to help carry a load for them. Maybe you saw a news story and it caused you to pray– and to remember someone’s need and pray some more!

Our own selfish impulses can get us into a lot of trouble. But God’s impulses can lead to blessing beyond our understanding. Just remember:

  • God’s impulses will never cause you to act contrary to His word. Buying things you know you can’t afford (especially for yourself!), or blurting out judgmental and hurtful comments– such impulses are NOT Godly. “Speaking the truth in Love” is not the same as spewing finger-pointing condemnation and self-righteous justification. Trusting that “God will provide” is not the same as assuming He wants you to have everything you desire.
  • Delayed obedience is the same as disobedience. God’s impulses are meant to be spontaneous moments of joyful service– not grudging acceptance of an imposition. That doesn’t mean that we can’t take a split second to discern God’s voice (see above) and respond appropriately. But God wants our “moments” as well as our “days”–He knows our plans. But He also knows His plans are better. If we are not willing for our plans to be redirected, then God is not really our Lord.
  • God’s impulses almost always involve others. God is LOVE. His impulses, therefore, are all about showing love–HIS LOVE–giving, serving, listening, helping, sharing, encouraging! God’s impulses will be directed outward, either toward others or toward God on the behalf of others. Amazingly, in God’s economy, we often reap a residual reward when we put aside our own plans. Sometimes the reward is not immediate or obvious–we may seem to meet with rejection, or even failure at first. Our actions may be misunderstood; our offers to help may fall flat; our prayers may seem to go unheard. But the love we show is not empty or worthless. We may never see the fruit of our actions or prayers, but we can still plant the seeds and water them!
  • God is a God of Grace and Mercy. Did you fail to act on a Godly impulse today? Stop. Take a moment to repent. Learn from today. Ask for wisdom to do better at the next opportunity!

I’m always amazed at the miraculous opportunities God has given me to bless others, and to learn more about His amazing Love. From unexpected encounters in faraway places, to reminders and prayer requests on Facebook or local news stories, to a sudden urge to do a random act of kindness– God’s impulses give us the opportunity to participate in His miracles!

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God’s Economy

“Times are tough!” I hear many people complaining about the economy lately. And they have good reason– gas prices, food prices, housing prices, taxes– everything is getting more expensive, and wages or other sources of income just aren’t keeping up.

While we may worry about the current economic conditions, we need to step back and look at a different economy– God’s economy.

This weekend, I wrote out checks and paid bills. I even put some money in the offering at church. But God doesn’t look at the amount of money I paid or gave away, how much I spent or saved, earned or invested. He’s aware, of course, of such things, but God looks at a different “bottom line.” God cares how I spend or save money, whether it’s pennies or thousands of dollars. But He also cares how I spend my time and energy. And my life is “richer” than just the money in my bank account or the things in my house.

God doesn’t give us everything we want– He loves us too much for that. Life isn’t about having the most “toys;” it isn’t about having the easiest or most entertaining experiences. It isn’t about “winning” and having “more.”

I have noticed that the happiest people are often those who have had to struggle the hardest. In God’s economy, it is His pleasure to give more than we can ask or imagine– but often in ways we would never expect. (see Ephesians 3:20-21) In God’s economy, I am rich. Not because of anything that I have done, or earned, or because I was born to a wealthy family or because I won the lottery. I am rich because of what God has done. And if I am tempted to doubt that, I can begin listing all the blessings of God– and I will run out of space and time!

God has given me life. I didn’t choose to be born. I did not have the power to create myself. But God made me unique among all the people who have ever lived. He gave me a body, a mind, a soul, and a spirit. He gave me thoughts and dreams and opportunities to grow and enjoy life.

God gives me hope and purpose and a reason to live. Life can be difficult. It can be painful. It can be tempting to see only the darkness, the grief, the regrets. But it can be beautiful. It can be almost painfully beautiful, sometimes. What a gift. And what a gift God offers in each new day. A new chance to hope. A new chance to strive. A new chance to make a difference.

God has given me family and friends. And sometimes, that can be a struggle! We aren’t perfect, and we don’t always see eye to eye. We step on the toes or we step on the feelings of others. But we also make each other laugh. We make each other stronger. We help each other grow. We enrich the lives of others, and others enrich our lives in return.

God has given me His word– His promises; His love-letter; His wisdom; His counsel; His power to shape my story. And yours! The Bible is not just a collection of stories or words. It is Truth. It is Grace. It is how we can KNOW the riches God has for each of us.

God has given me His Salvation. No matter what today brings; no matter what has happened in my past– whether things I have done, or things that have been done to me–God sees me as His child. And if I believe in Him; if I trust Him to be who He says He is– my Father, my Savior, my Lord–He will throw my past and my guilt “as far as the east is from the west”(see Psalm 103:12). I am debt-free! And I will inherit all that God will share with His children throughout eternity!

And God has given my His Presence. I am never alone. I am never forsaken or forgotten. NEVER. (Hebrews 13:5) If I am sitting in despair on an ash heap, seeing no hope and no future, God is sitting there with me, waiting for me to see Him, and accept that He is more than “enough” to get me through.

And with such riches, I can follow God’s lead and be generous in return. I don’t have the power to give life, but I can celebrate it, advocate for it, protect it, and remind others of its beauty and promise.

I can encourage others– with acts of service, with a smile, by faithfully lifting them up in prayer. What if we thought about hugs as endowments? What if, in God’s economy, every hug you give is worth $2,000? What if every prayer is like investing in a bank account? What if your smile is worth a fortune to someone today? I can be a friend to someone who feels unseen or unheard. I can share a conversation with someone who feels lonely. I can share a burden for someone who just needs a helping hand.

I can share God’s promises. I can share His wisdom. I can share His compassion. I can share His Mercy and Grace with those who least expect or “deserve” it. I can share my hope and my joy. I can help someone look up and look beyond a bad day. And where there is suffering and pain– I can share that, too, knowing it is part of God’s good economy. And maybe, as I offer my presence, I can help someone else see the presence of God sitting there with us both!

You may not feel very rich today. And in this world’s economy, you may be in great need. God may not shower you with cash or assets in the present moment. But God has promised to give you everything you truly need for life and Godliness (2 Peter 1:3-4)

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Fixing the Snarls

A few years ago, I got really ambitious and decided I would take up crocheting. My grandmother taught me the basics many years ago, and I thought I would be able to pick it back up and make delightful scarves and mittens and maybe even afghans… Except, when I started a scarf, I ended up with a nice start attached to a horribly snarled up ball of yarn. No problem. I would simply work at the snarl until it melted away, and continue with my scarf. Except it didn’t melt away. I was able to “move” the snarl a foot or so down from where it was, but I couldn’t work it all the way out.

I struggled with that snarl far longer than I should have, and eventually gave up the project and moved on to making candles (another story for another time). But I learned a painful lesson. I would love to say that I prayed about the snarl and God unraveled it for me, but that didn’t happen. I prayed– yes; but God allowed me to continue in my stubbornness and self-confidence to do battle with a few yards of green yarn for days, when I could have been doing more productive things.

I have a great need to try to “fix” things– I think most of us do at some level. We live in a broken world, and we know that there are things that are “snarled” all around us–relationships, situations, circumstances–that need fixing. And God has given us opportunities to do good works that can make the world around us better. But it is not our job to “fix” the brokenness in the world. Only God can really “fix” it–even though He may give us work to do along the way.

And that brings me back to prayer. No, God didn’t “fix” the snarl in my yarn. And He didn’t “fix” my stubborn attitude or my willingness to finish the project another way or ask for help from someone else. God isn’t interested in making our lives (or our projects) easier for us by removing our problems. And God isn’t impressed by our stubborn efforts to “fix” the situations in our lives. God’s ways are not our ways (see Isaiah 55:8-9; and check out https://blackaby.org/gods-ways-are-not-our-ways/.

So many times, we think of prayer as a last resort, as a crutch to fall back on when our efforts seem to be failing, or when we think a situation is “too big” for us to handle on our own. Even in the things of Christ, we tend to plan first, and pray later. Prayer becomes our Plan B. But what if, in the grand scale, prayer was always our Plan A? What if we started the morning, not looking at our planners and calendars, but listening for God’s direction? Even if it meant scrapping our own plans and leaving the “snarls” to God? What if, as our churches planned for programming and outreach, we resolved to do nothing until we had prayed for a month about our goals for the coming year? What if our churches had more people coming to prayer meetings than coming to Family Game Nights or Teen Overnight Parties? In my own life, what if I spent less time writing in my prayer journal than actually asking God to inhabit my prayers?

In the book of 1 Samuel, King Saul undertook a mission for God– God had chosen him to be King over all Israel, and to lead the nation against the wicked peoples in their midst. Saul led his warriors in battle, and even had success, but God rejected Saul because of his disobedience. Saul wanted victory to confirm his status as a warrior and a king. He listened to God’s instructions– superficially. He even insisted that he had followed God’s instructions– after all, he defeated the enemy! But he didn’t do it God’s way or for God’s glory. God gave him victory in many battles, but Saul was impatient, imprudent, and impudent. Saul ended his reign in shameful defeat because he wanted to “fix the snarls”– his way.

I’m not saying that my prayer blog and prayer journal are wrong, or that churches shouldn’t do programming– not at all. But it is something to think about, before the next yarn snarl comes along… Am I busy trying to “fix” a situation that I can’t (or shouldn’t) fix, when I should be watching for God’s next assignment? Am I trying to win a battle to prove myself worthy, or am I letting God set the terms and take the Glory that is rightfully His? Am I busy asking God to unsnarl yarn, when He wants to move mountains?

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Passing Gas

There once was a distinguished scholar and lecturer who was invited to be part of a symposium at a prestigious university. But during his time on stage, the professor realized that he was having a gas attack. Not wanting to embarrass himself by passing gas in front of the rest of the panel (and indeed the entire auditorium full of students) he politely asked to be excused to take a short break as the rest of the panel discussed a minor issue. He proudly excused himself, making it seem as though he was merely bored and wanted to stretch his legs a bit. Exiting the auditorium, he raced to the nearest bathroom and “let it rip,” not realizing that his portable microphone was still “hot.” The entire audience could hear, not only the gas he passed, but the other noises he made– of pain as the gas was passing, and of relief at the end of the attack. As he returned to his seat on stage, he was stunned to see people grinning and pointing, and hear stifled giggles as he rejoined the panel. Even his colleagues were finding it difficult to meet him with a straight face. Finally, the moderator asked, somewhat sarcastically, if the professor felt better after his break, and could be please be sure that his microphone was “turned back on…” As he finally realized what had happened, the professor was mortified, and barely spoke during the rest of the symposium. He left in a hurry, and it was many years before he agreed to visit that university again.

We may laugh at the downfall of the proud professor, but how often do we try to “pass gas” discreetly, pretending that we are “above” petty embarrassments and minor setbacks. As Christians, it is especially tempting to pretend that we “have it all together;” that because we follow Christ, we never struggle with pain, or niggling doubts, or unanswered questions. We sit in judgment on our neighbors because we do not stumble over the same sins that we see in them.

The world is watching. They pay close attention, not only to the sins we avoid, but to the sins we push aside or try to explain away. Sins like pride and gossip; sins like “bending the rules” and “fibbing.” It’s not that they don’t know about their own sins. In many cases, they are trapped in a cycle of guilt about their own sins, and their inability to escape the cycle on their own. Or they live in a web of lies about their lifestyles and habits– “I’m no worse than Him!” “God understands my weakness. He can’t condemn me for being the way He made me!” “God and I have a bargain. I don’t do X, and he’s ok that I do Y instead…”

But are we any “better?” “I don’t gossip. I ‘share’ prayer concerns.” “I’m a work in progress. God isn’t finished with me yet!” “King David told lies, and he was a ‘man after God’s own heart’!” “I’m not cheating on my taxes. You should hear my neighbor talk about what he’s done!” “I know I need to lose weight, but, well, there’s just more of me to love!” We are just as ready to find excuses for doing things we know to be wrong, unhealthy, unloving, and sinful, as our neighbor or our “enemy.”

Even more, we are tempted to pretend that we “have all the answers.” After all, if we trust God, how can we still have questions about pain or suffering or grief? We feel that admitting our weaknesses will expose us to ridicule, and that it may hurt our testimony.

That doesn’t mean that we should condone the sins of others, or that we should carry a load of shame over our own lapses. The point is that Jesus calls us to walk humbly and bring ALL our burdens to Him in prayer. Do I still struggle with my tongue–am I still spouting sarcastic retorts make me look smart, while putting others down? I need to submit that habit to the Lord. Does it bother me that my brother smokes or looks at porn? I should not condone such behavior, but it’s not my place to “make him” change his behavior. I should pray about it, and let him know I care about what these habits may be doing to his health and relationships. God doesn’t “hate” my neighbor who can’t seem to hold down a job, nags her husband and kids, and uses foul language– and neither should I! I shouldn’t encourage her bad behavior, but I should be willing to listen to her, show her compassion as someone Christ died to save, and offer her the same friendly helping hand I would be willing to give my other neighbors.

And I should be honest about my own limitations. God has saved me. I am His. But he didn’t save me because I had “cleaned up my act.” And he doesn’t reject me because I still don’t know all the answers or do all the “right” things. Instead, He guides me to be more like Him as I faithfully follow His ways, including confessing when I mess up. God is big enough to save me and re-shape my future in ways I can’t even imagine. I didn’t “win” my salvation. It is a gift– one that keeps on giving!

Being a Christian isn’t about acting “better” than those around us– though we should be walking in Jesus’ footsteps and living more like Him each day. It can be difficult, as the rest of the world may hold us to a higher standard. We will be judged more harshly than our neighbors who do not attempt to follow Christ. We will be accused of holding judgmental attitudes, even when we don’t display them. And we will find our standards and morals being maligned as “old-fashioned” or “snobbish” or even “hateful.” Not because they are any of those things, but because God’s standards (and anyone who agrees with them) offend those who rebel against them. And we still live in a fallen world, just like everyone else. We still wrestle with temptations, we still experience the consequences of sin– our own and others’–that make us sick, or weak, or poor, or otherwise look like “failure” to those around us. And it does no good to pretend that life isn’t sometimes difficult and painful–we’re not fooling anybody!

Instead, being a Christian is about “becoming” better than we can be without God’s Spirit living, moving, and acting THROUGH us. And a big part of that process involves “passing gas.” We need to let go of the sin and the “bad gas” that still builds up inside of us– pride, shame, stubbornness, laziness, envy, criticism, apathy, anger, bitterness, hatred, and so much more. And we need to acknowledge that our Salvation– now and through eternity– only comes through the finished work of Jesus Christ, not our own efforts. This process is called “Sanctification.” We are “saved” by Grace through Faith (see Ephesians 2:8-9). We cannot boast about having been saved. But we testify about our salvation by a changed nature, led by God’s spirit– a “new” compassion for those around us; a new delight in following God’s standards; a new humility about our own limitations, and a new joy for the way God can work through even our weaknesses to give us victory!

Ironically, passing gas is a necessary part of our bodily processes. If we don’t get rid of the “bad” gas, it will lead to bloating and actually poison us! Similarly, if we don’t acknowledge areas where we need to confess, continue in obedience, and submit our will to the Holy Spirit’s promptings, we will become bloated with our own self-importance, and poisoned by our self-deceptions.

So today, as I pass gas– as I surely will at some point– I hope that I will be convicted, and even amused, at how God uses the lowly things of this world for our benefit, and His Glory!

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We Are Family…

The Bible is filled with images of family–long lists of “begats” and genealogies, parables about sons and fathers, brothers, weddings, brides and grooms…God is even described as our Father, with Christ as “the son.”

One of my hobbies is genealogy– tracing my family’s roots back through several generations and several different places. While the Bible warns that we should not get caught up in “endless” and vain genealogies that lead to false pride and foolish divisions (1 Tim. 1:4/Titus 3:9), there are many good reasons to pay attention to families, family histories, and family dynamics.

First, the family is God’s design– God instituted marriage, parenthood, and family units. It is God’s will and purpose that we should not live in isolation and self-absorption, but learn to depend on and be responsible to others. Families honor, protect, love, provide, comfort, teach, encourage, build and work together. Even in a broken world, filled with dysfunctional and chaotic family relationships, the purpose and design of “family” is still part of God’s good and perfect plan for living. Broken families and toxic relationships are not a failure of God’s plan– they are the result of Sin’s power to distort and corrupt the Good that only God can create. The great news is that God also has the power to restore and redeem individuals and families; offering “rebirth”, adoption, and an eternal “inheritance” within His family!

Second, families can teach us about the astounding and limitless love of God. There is something about the bonds of familial love that stretch us beyond our regular capacity to hope, to sacrifice, to share, to grieve, to endure, and to forgive. Who has seen a mother or father go hungry so their child can eat; or a sister or daughter donate her kidney or bone marrow to help heal a family member? Or a father carry his son who could not walk, or a wife who visits her aging husband when he no longer knows her face? How can we see such devotion and not be struck by how much greater, wider, deeper, and more eternal the Father’s love is for each of us?

Third, family (particularly the idea of genealogies and long family histories) teaches us the eternal nature of God. We live our lives as part of three or four generations– a span of 70 or 80 years for many of us–and we concentrate our efforts on “making our mark” for less than that entire span. But even the longest of our lives are so short in the span of God’s plan for His people. We have one lifespan to play an important role in the story of centuries. When we fail to understand that role, we can miss our sense of purpose in life. Sometimes, we overestimate our own importance or miss the significance of our own legacy. Even “important” people are forgotten, or have their legacies tarnished or rewritten in the pages of history. And those people who never made the history books are often the inspiration for actions and movements that span generations and change nations. When I study the history of my own family, I find lives that were cut short by war or disease– yet these lives shaped the lives (or were the lives) of my ancestors, and without them, I would not be who or how or where I am today. Maiden aunt, baby brother, empty seat at the table– every life touches others in ways that God alone truly comprehends. “Coincidental” meetings, “unplanned” children, migration patterns, epidemics– all loom large in a single generation, but they all become part of the fabric of each person’s “history.”

Lastly, genealogy reminds us that we are all one enormous family! There is so much talk on the news and online about all our differences– language, culture, skin tone, beliefs, skills, abilities, interests, even diets!– and it is important to note that God loves variety and created us each with unique and precious differences to reflect His infinite character. But sin twists our differences into conflicts; sin spreads lies about God’s character, and thus, about how we (or others) reflect, honor, understand, acknowledge, or obey our amazing creator. Differences may cause division in our broken world, but they do not cancel God’s mercy or limit the reach of His love for us all.


This lesson is being brought home to me in a secondary way as I see the time approaching for my 40th high school class reunion. Of course, we are not all directly related. And we are all the same general age, rather than being multi-generational. But it struck me that our class has been very much like a family– we grew up together; we learned to get along (most of the time), to share, to work together, to understand and appreciate our differences and our unique gifts–we send birthday greetings and share pictures, we laugh together, grieve together, share fond memories and special connections with one another. We pray for one another, argue with one another, encourage one another, and challenge one another. There are some who have distanced themselves–whether through physical distance or emotionally– from the rest of us. Some have even ended their earthly journeys. But that doesn’t make them any less a part of our class/our family. We are short and tall, thin and stout, hairy and bald, dark and light complected; we are single, married, divorced, and widowed– some with children still at home; some with no children at all. We are rich and poor, healthy and ill, walking around with scars and wounds and unresolved questions, arrogant assumptions, or chips on our shoulders. And we are optimists and mentors, healers and teachers, helpers and protectors. We are loud and quiet, social and task-oriented, driven and laid-back, dreamers and doers. And in my genealogy research, I have made genetic and marriage connections to about 1/3 of them! We really ARE family, and I can show how we are related! How small would this world seem if we looked at our brothers and sisters across the world, and realize that those connections are so much greater than the differences that divide us?

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

I’m also in the process of writing a book about my family. I estimate that there are nearly 500 people who can claim the same ancestral “roots” from the same two people, who lived through some of the most amazing events of the twentieth century! Once again, we don’t all look , or act, or think alike– some are tall, some are tattooed, some are old, some are newborns, some argue about college football teams, or politics. Some of us speak other native languages or live very different lifestyles. But we love each other, encourage each other, and many of us share our prayers and concerns and joys and pains. My great-grandparents (and all their children) left a legacy of love and faith that continues to influence and inspire the fourth, fifth and sixth generation to follow!

When we pray for others, we are always praying for our family! Praying for our neighbors and classmates and co-workers– we are praying for family! Praying for our enemies, for strangers, for those who look and speak differently than us–We are praying for family! May God give us eyes to see and hearts to love our brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, cousins and even the “long lost family members” and lift them up in prayer to the One who loves us and wants to bring us all into His family!

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