The Price of Discontent

If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness, he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, and constant friction among people who are depraved in mind and deprived of the truth, imagining that godliness is a means of gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.
1 Timothy 6: 3-10 (ESV)

This past week, I have really been struggling with discontent. There are things I want that I can’t afford; things I want to accomplish, but I have other obligations that eat away at my time and energy. I want to lose weight and exercise more– the spirit is willing– but my body and will-power are weak. And I spiraled down into anger, frustration, depression, and comparison. It’s been an ugly week. Instead of thanking God that we have enough money to pay the bills and buy groceries, I complain about the price of the groceries and bills, and the lack of money left over for entertainment or new clothes I don’t need.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain” (v.6). It’s a verse I learned as a girl, and yet I’m still struggling with the concept. Part of that, I think may be that our culture’s teachings clash with the Bible. There are people in our culture– even pastors and Bible teachers– who twist the Gospel so that, as Paul says they (imagine) that godliness is a MEANS of gain. (v. 5). And I have listened to, and bought into, that concept– that God rewards (financially, socially, physically) those who practice “godliness”. But what kind of godliness bargains with God for reward? What kind of godliness leads to discontent and anger?

No. Godliness is not a game or a role to play at. It is, much like prayer, a pursuit and a lifestyle. It is discipleship– following the example of Christ’s life and teachings– changing the way I think and the way I live. And no amount of “following the principles” on my own will lead to that kind of change, because my motive will always be “gain.” Whether gaining money, or status, or achievements and accolades, this type of sham godliness will leave me discontented. And the price of that discontent will be my life.

 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
John 10:10 (ESV).

Jesus did not come to earth to gain fame or fortune. He was despised by many and crucified by the religious authorities of his day. He was misunderstood, and he was, in worldly terms, a failure. He was homeless, childless; there were no monuments to His achievements, no medals or honors bestowed on Him by the rulers of the day. BUT He came to make it possible for us to break the chains of Sin, guilt, worry, jealousy, and discontent. Jesus saw suffering around Him. He saw people with beautiful houses, high social status, productive farms or businesses, and great political power. But He was not drawn to them. He was content to do the Father’s will; content to travel from town to town, talking with lepers and prostitutes, with tax collectors and beggars. And His life changed the world! It is because of His life, death, and resurrection that I can have eternal life and abundant life now and forevermore (John 3:16).

That doesn’t mean that I have everything I want, or that I don’t have to struggle in the present. And it doesn’t mean that I am comfortable and complacent with what I do have. Sometimes, life is difficult and doesn’t seem very “abundant” in the moment. I still have bills. I still have diabetes. And I still have ambitions and unrealized goals. I just need to remember what the Gospel is really all about. It isn’t about becoming rich or well-respected, or productive in the eyes of the world. My life may be quietly abundant in the things that really matter– peace with God, time with family and friends, opportunities to reach out with hope and encouragement to those who need it, seeing beyond the moments of life to the value of life itself.

“Godliness with contentment” isn’t about wealth or achievement. It’s about the journey– and taking this journey WITH God–walking at His pace, walking where He tells me to walk, walking toward a greater goal. Discontent takes me along a different path– one that will never result in a life that is truly abundant and worth living. I waste my days wishing for this or regretting that or envying someone else’s victories instead of being able to join with them in celebration. It teaches me to be frantic, restless, and angry with myself and others. It leaves me exhausted and unfulfilled.

Money, fame, achievement– none of these is the “root of all evil.” Rather, it is the love of ANYTHING that displaces my “first” love for God that is the root of all kinds of hurt, grief, disappointment, and waste.

When I Can’t Do “All Things…”

10-14 I’m glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you’re again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don’t mean that your help didn’t mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

Philippians 4:10-14 (The Message)

I know many Christians who quote Philippians 4:13–generally in the King James or New King James versions: “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens (strengtheneth) me.” It is a powerful verse, but taken out of context, it can become twisted and lead to unrealistic expectations. In context, Paul is not talking about achievement, but about endurance. “I can endure all things…” or “I can cope with all circumstances…” is a better understanding, which is why I chose to quote from The Message, instead of another translation. Many times, however, we co-opt this familiar verse to fill our calendar with busy plans for our own achievements, trusting in God to give us the strength to multi-task our way past exhaustion. We end up frustrated, disappointed, and even questioning our faith.

God never meant for any of us to do “all things..” In fact, He wants us to trust Him to direct our paths– even when He directs us away from achievement and into rest or even need. Paul was a doer. He loved to be on the road, preaching and teaching, building up churches, and making new converts. But the letter to the Philippian believers was written from a jail cell. Paul could not be there to minister to them, but they had ministered to him, instead! Paul was thanking his friends for the help they gave him, not because he was abandoned or starving, but because their gifts reminded him of their care for him, and of God’s care for all of us. God had given Paul a season of rest from the road– imposed rest, but rest that gave him time to reflect on God’s goodness in solitude.

When we set ourselves up to “do all things,” it usually means “all the things I think I can or ought to do,” or “all the things I am asked or expected to do as a volunteer or a friend or neighbor or parent…” God is more concerned with our “being” than our “doing.” He wants us to be seeking after righteousness, not self-righteousness. He wants us to be growing in our love for others– even if we can’t “do it all.” He wants us to follow Him, not impress Him!

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I’m in a season of “can’t” right now. It’s not that I can’t do anything, but I can’t do “all things.” That’s not a result of my lacking faith or having a wrong view of God– God CAN do anything and “everything.” But I can’t. And God’s plan isn’t to empower me to be autonomous, self-sustaining, or self-righteous. I NEED others! And I NEED Him! What I CAN do, is trust in His timing and His resources to be sufficient for my daily needs. I can get “enough” done today, with God’s wisdom and strength. I can do “enough” to overcome anxiety or depression– with the help that God provides. That may mean allowing someone else to do simple tasks that I can’t do today. It may mean accepting medical help. It may mean changing my schedule or my expectations for today. But I can endure all the setbacks, and the moments of grief or weakness that keep me from “doing” what I had planned. I can weather it all in the power of Christ. And so can you! If you are finding yourself in a season of “can’t,” don’t skim over Philippians 4– study it. Claim it! Christ’s power isn’t for those who “can.” It’s for those who ask!

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It’s a great thing to have a “can-do” attitude. But sometimes, we need a season of “can’t do” in order to step back and see what we “can BE” in the power of Christ!

The “Curse” of Proverbs 31

If you are a woman who has grown up “in the church,” you are probably familiar with Proverbs 31. It is the chapter about a virtuous woman. She is the role-model that is held up for young girls and older women alike. And she is, like Mary Poppins, “practically perfect in every way.” She gets up before the sun, stays up late into the night–always busy, always productive; she never slows down. She never has a bad hair day, never loses her temper, never forgets to pack a lunch or fold the laundry. She never nags, never scolds, never pouts, and never has to raise her voice.

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It helps that she has serving girls to do her bidding, and has her own business. She appears to be independently wealthy and active, yet she has time to raise children who “rise up and call her blessed,” and satisfy her husband, who “lacks nothing of value.”

I would love to say that I am just like that woman. Most days, however, I feel nothing like her. I don’t have money to buy a new field. I don’t get up before the sun and my hands are not eager to work. I don’t make and sell linen garments. No one is running around calling me “blessed” or singing my praises… I can never measure up to this woman. I feel cursed.

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But a closer reading of this chapter makes me think again.

While the woman described in this chapter is a model to emulate, she is not the norm. Nor is she the standard to which I must adhere to “earn” my way into God’s good graces. Indeed, God’s Mercy is the richer and His Grace more precious for knowing that I cannot “measure up.”

Instead of using Proverbs 31 to beat myself up for not being perfect (or using it to discourage or intimidate others), I need to learn from it. Here are a few things I’m hanging on to as I read through it this week:

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  • “She brings him (her husband) good, not harm…” (v. 12) What are some ways I can bring good, not harm, into my home and marriage? How can I listen more, nag, less, be more available, and otherwise show love and care? I won’t be perfect, but I can look for ways to improve!
  • “She works with eager hands..” (v. 13) “She sets about her work vigorously…”(v. 17) I may not be spinning wool or flax in the early light; I may not have serving girls to order, but I have hands and work to do throughout the day. How can I do a better job of seeing chores as opportunities, rather than oppression and drudgery? How can I bring a greater sense of purpose to my tasks? I may not have serving girls, but I have appliances–am I “ordering” them properly by taking care of them, instead of just taking them for granted? And am I grateful for their help?
  • “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy…” (v. 20) What can I do to “give” more–donate, volunteer, provide hospitality and encouragement? How can I keep in mind that during various seasons of life the “poor” and “needy” may be in my own home and family–children or grandchildren needing nourishment and discipline; parents needing care and support…How can I be more available to those outside of my home, or during my work hours? Can I send an e-mail or make a call to offer encouragement? Can I share a recipe with a friend, or invite them to come with me shopping or to church? Can I make time to pray with a neighbor? Can I clean out a closet and donate clothes or linens?
  • “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue..” (v. 26) What a challenge!? What is “on my tongue?” Gossip? Criticism? Complaining? Idle chatter? Do I speak too much? Do I remain silent when I could offer needed instruction, encouragement, or correction? Do I speak with gentleness and compassion? With conviction and truth?
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  • “…she does not eat the bread of idleness..”(v27). Ouch! Everyone needs to rest– even the seemingly indefatigable woman of Proverbs 31! But am I becoming “fat” on leisure time? How much time to I waste on distractions and entertainment that could be put to better use?
  • “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised..” (v30) I may strive to be an “accomplished” woman– someone who is poised, talented, successful in business and society, with a picture-perfect house and garden, children on the dean’s list or the winning sports team; I can be will-traveled and well-educated, someone who seems to “have it all”–and still NOT be a woman of noble character. God isn’t impressed by my clothes or my achievements; He doesn’t give me credit for being “better” than my next door neighbor, or having the best kitchen on the block; God will not love me any more for being more successful or productive than anyone else. If my house is cluttered, my hair is untame-able, my kids have public melt-downs, and I don’t belong to the “in” club; if my business fails, my car is rusty (or I don’t have one), and my husband and I wear second-hand clothes, God still sees my heart. I can still be a woman who fears, trusts, and serves the Lord– one who is loved, accepted, and even “praised” by the One who matters most!
  • Finally, I can Pray to become a woman/wife of noble character (v.10), striving for good habits, rather than fretting over and wallowing in bad ones. I can trust God’s willingness and ability to transform my life and my attitudes. In fact, I am reminded of a seemingly unrelated portion of scripture from Philippians:

8-9 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message)
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I need to spend less of my time worrying about getting things “done”, than getting them done God’s way! I don’t need to fear the “curse” of Proverbs 31– failure to measure up to a model– instead, I need to see the opportunity to become a woman after God’s own heart– one who accepts God’s help and wisdom to become the woman HE wants me to be. I pray that God will give me the chance to develop–and help others–today and each new day.

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