My Body, My Choice?

The news is constantly filled with stories about women (and men and children) who want to have complete control over their bodies– they want to choose their gender, dramatically change their appearance, and determine when (or if) they will have children, commit to relationships, or accept the responsibility that comes with having a body.

In many ways, “my body, my choice” seems reasonable and even fair. No one wants other people to have control over their life and death, or their health and welfare, with no say and no choice. But often, this phrase is twisted into a fantasy that every person can do whatever s/he wants with their body, without accepting the consequences or responsibilities that come with their behavior or their natural abilities.

I once saw an online argument in which a young and earnest writer boldly claimed that “bodily autonomy is a ‘thing.'” They went on to argue that ‘bodily autonomy’ gave them the right to government-funded abortion on demand, access to puberty blockers, the right to identify as whatever gender (or species) they felt like, all without restriction or ‘judgment’ by anyone else. What? “Bodily Autonomy” is a phrase, suggesting that a person has the right to control or “own” their own body, and not answerable to any other authority, law, or limitation. But being a ‘thing’ doesn’t make ‘bodily autonomy’ a reality. I can make many choices about my body– but there are many realities over which I have no “choice”– no control or authority or resources to accomplish.

I’m short. I cannot suddenly become tall. I am a woman. No matter how many hormones I pump into my body, no matter how many surgeries I could have to make me look or sound like a man, or “function” somewhat like a man, I will never have a man’s body or a man’s DNA. I am barren. The idea that pregnancy was always a “choice” for me denies the very real emotional struggle I went through in accepting my body’s limitations. I recently lost a sister-in-law to cancer. What a mockery to chant “my body, my choice!’ to someone who is dying of cancer or who was born with cystic fibrosis or is battling ALS or multiple sclerosis. And sometimes, other people violate our bodies– we may struggle, but we cannot prevent someone else from abusing us physically or sexually. So, although bodily autonomy may be a “thing” or an ideal, it is not a guarantee. And if the choices we make in our body end up abusing, hurting, or killing another living being, that is not autonomy– it’s unjust and predatory.

But what does the Bible say? Does God give us choices about our bodies?

There is nothing specific in the Bible about gender dysphoria, or plastic surgery. There is no mention of third trimester abortion or modern feminism, or queer lifestyles. But there are many teachings about our bodies AND our choices. And surprisingly, the Bible does NOT say that we have no control or “rights” over our own bodies. Instead, the Bible tells us the following:

  • God is the creator of all life. Life is a gift from God, not a random accident. And no one– NO ONE– can spontaneously come into being. So, the idea of “bodily autonomy” cannot be true of anyone who has ever depended on someone else to be born or to grow up or to become pregnant. God’s word makes it clear that “autonomy” is NOT the goal of creation. God’s purpose for us is to connect– with Him and with each other. He created men and women different, yet complementary. He created families to live and work together– the old teaching the young, as the young care for the old–sharing and building a legacy. Sin corrupts God’s design– it seeks to subvert it and destroy it, replacing it with a twisted independence that leads to isolation and loneliness, distrust, anger, pride and hatred.
  • God doesn’t make mistakes. He doesn’t delight in our struggles, our limitations, or our diseases. But Sin corrupts– right down into our DNA. God does not wipe out the consequences of Sin in our world– not yet. Someday, He will bring an end to all the causes of suffering, confusion, and grief. But in the meantime, He promises to be present WITH us THROUGH the struggle. We may not understand fully how our bodies work or why they do (or don’t do) what we might like. We may wonder why we look the way we do, or why our nose is “too small” or our body is shaped like a pear, when we want it to be an hourglass, or our hair in impossible to keep tamed, or we face a family history of oversized ears. We may struggle with diabetes, asthma, epilepsy, hypothyroidism, and even gender dysphoria. But God isn’t sitting in the wings, laughing at our circumstances. He promises to be both “present” and “sufficient,” even in the midst of our pain and uncertainty.
  • God calls us to take care of the bodies He gave us to the best of our ability. That means it is sinful to have indiscriminate sex with unknown partners who may be carrying venereal diseases– and also to overeat or starve ourselves with fad diets, or to pierce ourselves with unclean needles, whether getting a tattoo from an unlicensed and unclean parlor, or shooting up with heroin. Sexual and gender issues grab headlines and make for great political fodder, but we can make the mistake of thinking that such sins are “bigger” than lying or gossip or greed or pride, or that they are unforgiveable– they are NOT! God can remove the stain of abortion, rebellion, gossip, addiction, lying, drunkenness, body shaming, and judgmentalism.
  • God HAS given us the power of choice– we can choose our behaviors, our lifestyle, our morals, and our relationships. He has also given us governments to create laws and punishments for those who break them. But a law doesn’t actually prevent you from doing an act– it merely outlines the negative consequences for breaking that law. Laws can’t prevent people from committing murder, rape, theft, arson, etc., but laws provide a framework for responsibility and punishment to discourage certain behaviors and affirm the rights of even the most vulnerable among us. In other words, a law can’t prevent you from having an abortion or a sex change– but it can limit your ability to do so by forcing you to face negative consequences– jail time, higher fees, fewer practitioners willing to make such decisions “easy” and socially acceptable. God has given us His law in the Bible to show us how far we have fallen away from His standards and His character. On our own, we will never fulfill the entire law. But that is the heart of the Gospel– Jesus came to free us from both the power of Sin and the condemnation that comes from yielding to it. The Holy Spirit can give us the power to make Godly choices, knowing that Christ’s atoning sacrifice has paid the price for our sinful choices of the past.
  • Our choices come with consequences. We are ‘free’ to make bad choices, but we (and others!) are not free of the consequences of our choices. “My body, my choice” is an anthem of entitlement– of rights without responsibilities. Many of our choices carry great risks. Abortion is not a risk-free solution to a “problem.” Just as pregnancy presents risks, so does the medical procedure to end one. Clinics can minimize the risks, but there is no such thing as a guaranteed “safe escape” from an unplanned pregnancy. Sex change operations are even riskier, with complications that can be profound, chronic, and extremely painful. Risky health and sex habits don’t become any less risky just because they are legal or socially accepted. Experimenting with drugs can end in tragic death or lifelong damage to the heart or brain, as well as the horrors of addiction. Eating or drinking in excess will still lead to health problems, even if there is a new miracle fad drug that masks the early symptoms.
  • Sin has consequences that are often NOT of our making or choosing. It is not fair, it is not just, and it is not your fault. Punishing an innocent person will not take away that fact. It only spreads the consequences of Sin to someone else– someone who will be another innocent victim– YOUR victim. Cutting off family and friends because they don’t “affirm” your new lifestyle will not change them. It will hurt them. It will hurt you. It will not make your lifestyle any more acceptable to them. Aborting a baby will not change the circumstances of the pregnancy or make the abuse or memories of a rape disappear. Someday, God will restore justice, reward hope, and remove all grief and pain for those who learn to trust Him.

In the end, God has given you “your” body, and He has given you “your” choice. But He also warns you of the consequences of making selfish, dangerous choices that can result in death, heartbreak, regrets, and long-term damage for short-term benefits. He also promises the blessings of recognizing that “your” soul was made to have a relationship with a Holy and Perfect God, and that your “choice” to follow Him will bring eternal and glorious benefits, including a new and sinless “body” in Heaven. I pray that I will make good choices to take care of “my body” today. And I pray that eyes and minds will be opened to the wonder of God’s gift of life, and His plan for every “body” around me.

Ask…

 

Matthew 7:7-12 New International Version (NIV)

Ask, Seek, Knock

7 â€œAsk and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

9 â€œWhich of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

I’m really bad about asking for help.  I don’t mind asking for advice or opinions– I can listen and take the advice or ignore it; accept someone else’s opinion or not.  But asking for help puts a certain obligation to accept whatever help is given.  It also announces that you have a need; that you are struggling and can’t do “it” on your own.  This is especially true in situations where we are embarrassed to admit to shortcomings, inabilities, or perceived failures.

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Asking is difficult for most of us.  Not just because we must swallow our pride and admit to a need, but because we must hope that whoever we ask will be willing or able to meet that need.  Asking becomes more difficult when we don’t know who we can trust.  Admitting weakness to someone who is kind is a small risk–it may bruise our pride, or cause the other person to pity us.  Asking for help from someone who is deceitful, arrogant, incompetent, or abusive is a recipe for disaster.

Sometimes, we are afraid to ask for help because we sense that there is no help to be given.  We wallow in despair, thinking all is lost or hopeless.  But fear and despair are not wise counselors–they cannot help us out of our problems; they can’t even see beyond the current chaos or the next panic.  Sometimes, we are too proud to ask someone else to do what we feel we should be able to do– others can manage, others can triumph “on their own”– not realizing that they had help along the way, or that they need help in other areas where we are strong.

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And sometimes, we don’t want the kind of “help” that is offered.  We want help to stay in our comfort zone, even if it means bondage to addiction, or losing an opportunity that comes only with hard work or sacrifice.  We want someone to lie to us, keep us comfortable, or flatter us, when our greatest need is someone to challenge us, coach us, and give us the truth, even when it stings.  In fact, if we have grown lethargic, entitled, and arrogant, we won’t ask for help– we will demand a lesser form of help that enables us to stay as we are and not help us become who we were meant to be.

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So consider this as you pray today– the God of the Universe– creator of galaxies and microcosms, ruler of eternity, the God who hears every sigh of every human on the face of the planet and knows who made it and why, the God who gave His only Son to fulfill the law and restore your soul–this God is waiting for you to ASK Him for help, for guidance, for wisdom, for your daily needs, for forgiveness that only He can give completely.  And He promises to give good gifts– joy, peace, hope, love.  He will not scorn us in our need– He already knows it, Why are you waiting?

Why, O Lord?

We are a curious race, humans–we ask a lot of questions of ourselves, each other, and even of God. How did He make the universe? When will Jesus return? Who can we trust in this world? Where is Heaven? What must we do to be saved? But the majority of our questions are “Why” questions. Why did Jesus come? Why did He have to die? Why did God make snakes and mosquitoes and platypuses? Why are men and women so different? Why am I… (short/tall, fat/thin, clumsy, “odd,” misunderstood, etc.)? Why are You so mysterious? Why do bad things happen to “good” people?

I was thinking about this last question this week. I don’t have any definitive answer to that– no one I know has any better answer. God has not given us a definitive answer, either. We are to trust that His ways are wise and best and perfect, but faith and trust require–well, Faith and Trust! We know God has done good things in the past. We know He has redeemed what seemed like hopeless situations. We know His promises, and we have seen some of them fulfilled. Still, such a question can often leave us blindsided and tongue-tied.

There are many learned thinkers, philosophers, and apologists who have written whole books on this subject, but I want to just pose a couple of ideas to help us, not ANSWER the question, but understand the question a little better.

First, the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” is really two questions: “Why do ‘bad’ things happen?” AND “Why do they happen to ‘good’ people?” So let’s look at the questions separately.

“Why do ‘bad’ things happen?” What do we mean when we say “bad things?” There are many circumstances, events, diagnoses, and occurrences that may be called “bad.” Death is “bad.” Indigestion is “bad.” Stubbing one’s toe is “bad.” Being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease is “bad.” Divorce is “bad.” Slavery and abuse are “bad.” House fires, job losses, being mugged, being stranded without heat in a blizzard, an outbreak of acne, being laughed at– all these are “bad.” But they are all different. Many “bad” things are the direct result of sin–we suffer the consequences of our own sin; we are the victims of the sins of others. The consequences of addiction can be horrific, but we often lack compassion for those who are suffering, because “they brought it upon themselves.” But what about the innocent victim of rape or child sex trafficking? Such acts leave victims traumatized and broken. Both are “bad,” but we are angered and frustrated even more when “bad” consequences also seem unjust and unfair. And what about natural disasters? Are they the result of sin, as well? The Bible suggests that they are. When God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, they lived naked, carefree, and unafraid. Only after their sin did God place a curse on the land– Adam would now have to cultivate the land in order to get food. There would be enmity between the woman and the serpent. Eve (and all women after her) would have pains in childbirth. (see https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+3%3A+14-20&version=NIV) There is no mention of hurricanes, blizzards, or earthquakes prior to the Fall of mankind, though it is speculation on my part, to say that there were none.

God has promised to make all things new. There will be a time when the consequences of Sin will be eradicated. We will not even remember the suffering we endured in life, in light of the blessings of eternity. So, though God doesn’t answer our question of why “bad” things happen, He does give us the assurance that such “bad” things do not determine our destiny, nor do they happen without His knowledge or outside of His will! We cannot understand God’s purposes in allowing us to suffer, though sometimes we may see a hint of good even in the midst of tragedy.

And God is loving and gracious in the face of our confusion and pain. We CAN ask God “Why?!” “Why me?” “Why this?” “Why now?” “Why them?” Why, O Lord!?” Many of the Psalms speak to this very question. But in the middle of his anguish, the psalmist often finds comfort and renewed strength to face the struggle, when he turns to God. Asking why is not always a sign of weak or failed Faith. Instead, it is acknowledging before God that we ache. We grieve. And we NEED HIM!”

And what about the second part of the question: “Why do (bad things) happen to ‘good’ people?” What makes a person “good?” Jesus was “Good,” And yet He questioned the rich young ruler, “Why do you call me good? No one is Good– except God alone.” (see https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+18%3A18-27&version=MSG) We tend to think of the people we know and like as “good.” And we have a natural expectation that their lives should be “good” also– free of pain or struggle. But that is not realistic in this world. The actor, Michael J. Fox has been suffering for years with Parkinson’s Disease. This seems unfair and cruel. How could God let him suffer like this? But there are many thousands of people suffering from Parkinson’s Disease. Some of them are homeless addicts; some are in prison for rape or embezzlement. Is their suffering any less than that of Mr. Fox? Is it somehow less tragic or unjust?

The sad and shocking truth is that none of us “deserves” a pain-free, struggle-free life. Bad things DO happen. And they happen to people we like, and people we hate; people we judge to be “good” and people we judge to be “bad.” God does not “play favorites.” Yes, God can, and often does intervene on someone’s behalf through prayer, or for His own bigger purposes. But He does not “dish out” suffering to those He dislikes out of spite or revenge. Nor does He cause His faithful to float through life without ever tasting bitterness and grief. Jesus made many promises, but one of them was this: “in this world you will have trouble; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) He didn’t promise that you might have a little spot of trouble, or that you might look around and see others in trouble– He promised that we would have trouble. Not because we are “bad” or “good” but because that’s the way this world is.

I find it odd that atheists often pose this question as a way of trying to “prove” that God doesn’t exist. They pose the question as an accusation. “If there is a kind and loving God, why do bad things happen to good people?” But if they believe that there ISN’T a kind and loving God, how do THEY explain why bad things happen to good people? How do they define “good” people and “bad” things? Without a Good God, where is the expectation of good things happening to good people? Without God, there are no objectively “good” things or “bad” things happening– only random events without divine cause or purpose. You can’t blame a non-existent God for things He either caused or didn’t prevent. Such questions are meant to plant doubt in the mind of a believer, but they fail to answer the greater question– Why do Good things happen to undeserving people? Why do we sometimes find joy and peace and strength in the midst of our suffering? Why do human beings continue to Hope?

Finally– the ultimate example of God letting something “bad” happen to someone “good” can be seen in the central image of our Faith– the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Jesus was sentenced unjustly to a torturous death and public humiliation. He was separated from God the Father, and carried the punishment for OUR sins so that WE could be reconciled to God. Even though the purpose of Christ’s suffering has been revealed to us, it doesn’t negate the agony and trauma He faced. And even HE cried out from the Cross– “My God, My God, WHY have YOU forsaken ME?!” (Matthew 27:46)

God does not answer the question of why “bad” things happen in this world. But in the crucifixion, Jesus proves to us that He shares and understands our suffering; that He has the power to overcome and redeem our traumas; and that He will hear our sincere cries of “WHY?!” He will hear when we turn toward Him, instead of turning our back on Him. He will hear our broken heart. He will heal our broken heart.

WHY?– Because He loves us!

When Christmas Wasn’t Merry

I know several people who had a very Merry Christmas this year. Some of them flew to exotic locations and spent Christmas on the beach, or in a big city with lights and dozens of family members. Some of them spent a cozy Christmas in a cabin with roaring fires and glittering snow-covered trees, eating sumptuous meals and unwrapping expensive gifts.

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But most of the people I know spent a Christmas that wasn’t “post-card” perfect. Some of them were alone in a small apartment with no presents and no heat. Some were working at a job they hate because they had no other option. Some were grieving loved ones lost in the past months. Some of them are facing economic mountains– debt, job loss, medical bills or taxes they cannot pay, no money for rent or groceries… Some are battling cancer or alcoholism, anger, or fear. Some are estranged from their families, or separated from loved ones because of COVID, or deployment, or divorce. And some are facing persecution, starvation, homelessness, disease, or war.

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Christmas comes, whatever our circumstances– and so does the Christ Child. Jesus didn’t come to the earth to bring us all “better” circumstances or worry-free holidays, but to deliver us from eternal death, and equip us to endure the circumstances we face in life. Jesus himself came in chaotic and stressful circumstances, and He came, knowing that He would face rejection, hatred, injustice, and death on a cross.

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There are millions of people who spent a “Merry” Christmas and missed the whole point. Some of us indulged in a gift-giving frenzy that left others in the cold. Some of us allowed envy, fear, greed, or bitterness to color our Christmas. In the process, many of us lost sight of the true gifts of Christmas– Peace, Joy, and Goodwill. In fact, “His divine power has given us EVERYTHING we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3)

And these gifts are not temporary, like earthly Christmas gifts. They are always available, and they never break, expire, or grow dim. My prayer for this year(and the year to come) is that we all may find–and share!– these eternal and astounding gifts, this “inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade…kept in heaven for you” (1 Peter 1:4)

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Christmas Day may not always be merry in this life, but because of Christmas we can face an eternity that will never disappoint, and we have a living Hope that can carry us through even the darkest hours!

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