Recipe for Prayer

I love to cook. I’ve been cooking for most of my life, and sometimes, I don’t use a recipe. Often, it’s a dish I’ve made so many times, I make it from memory. Other times, I’m adapting for ingredients I have, or substituting one cooking technique for another.

But I don’t recommend creating a new dish without a recipe or guideline. Cooking is a lot like chemistry– too much of one ingredient, or leaving out another one entirely, can result in disaster! You can’t just throw together a little of this and a little of that, cook it for who knows how long, and expect good results.

The same can be said for pursuing prayer as a lifestyle. I use a “recipe” for prayer. And yes, there are times when I vary from it. But a good, healthy prayer LIFE should contain the following four ingredients:

Praise/Worship/Adoration: After all, we are not praying to an unknown being with unknown qualities. We are praying to the One True God, whose marvelous attributes are worthy of unending praise. If I am praying regularly, and NOT praising God, what is the purpose of my prayer? It can devolve into a laundry list of my complaints, worries, wishes, and whims, instead of being a conversation between a child and her Beloved and Faithful Father.

Confession/Repentance/Review: This ingredient is a stumbling block for many people. If we have been forgiven, why do we need to confess or repent? God already knows our deeds, and Jesus’ death and resurrection have already removed our sins as far as the East is from the West, right? Right. But Confession is not about beating ourselves up over wrongs we cannot undo. Rather, it is simply agreeing with God about our condition and actions. Yes, Jesus has forgiven me. But I need to acknowledge who I am before Him. I am forgiven, not by being better than someone else, or even better than I was before, but because God has extended His Grace and Mercy. And if I don’t remind myself of this fundamental truth, I may forget, and begin to believe that I no longer “need” God’s mercy in my life.

Asking/Requests/Supplication: Supplication is an old word that means asking or pleading. Once again, this can be a stumbling block in a couple of different ways. As with confession, God already knows what we are going to ask. He already knows our needs. Saying them isn’t about making God aware; it’s about giving us a chance to seek HIS mercy, HIS will, and HIS answer. And it’s about acknowledging HIS sovereignty in all aspects of our life. I can’t count the number of times I have asked God for something, and realized that I was not really asking, but rather trying to dictate to God what I wanted to have happen. If I’ve started with the first two ingredients above, I quickly realize that, while God knows what is in my heart, He also knows what is best– and often that is much larger or better than I can imagine!

Thanksgiving/Responding/Yielding: The last ingredient in a healthy prayer life is a heart bursting with Thanksgiving and willing response to God’s Love and Care in my life. Prayer is, at heart, a conversation we have with God. And part of any good relationship is affirming that bond. If I talk with my friend, and even ask a favor, or share some of my burdens, I don’t just walk away without acknowledging how much their friendship and love mean to me– regardless of whether they respond immediately to my request. And I don’t listen to their loving advice and support and walk away as though they never spoke. Prayer should include a time of saying, “YES!” to our relationship with Jesus. YES, I trust you. YES, I gladly accept Your will and all the blessings You have provided in my life. YES, I will obey you and follow you!

Of course, every prayer and every pray-er is unique. Some prayers will have more asking than confessing; others will be “heavy” on Thanksgiving (especially those coming up later this month!). But it is good to stop and consider how the “ingredients” of prayer are producing a harvest in the way we live and the way we pursue a Godly lifestyle. For more about this topic, see https://www.dailyeffectiveprayer.org/prayer-acronym/ and also https://proverbs31mentor.com/acts-prayer/.

Please Pray for Me

How do I respond when someone asks me to pray for them? That may seem like a silly question. It seems obvious that if someone asks for prayer, my response would be to pray. But is that what I am really doing?

I caught myself a few years ago on Facebook saying one thing and doing another. Someone would post a prayer request. I would reply in the comment section that I would pray, that I was “sending prayers”, or that I was praying for them– but then I wouldn’t. I would forget; or I would sort of send up a quick, “God help so-and-so” and move on. It doesn’t mean that I never prayed at all about their situation. But I felt that my comments were more about being “seen” as a prayer warrior than actually being faithful in prayer.

There are many people who have said they are praying for me at certain times in my life. And maybe all of them have. But there are some people who stop whatever they’re doing and pray NOW. They don’t just pray FOR me, they pray WITH me. And they enter into my situation. They pray specifics. They pray for God’s will to be done– even if it isn’t pretty or easy. They pray for my growth and not just for my immediate relief.

I don’t always pray that way for others. I can’t always drop what I’m doing to enter into someone else’s situation. But I’ve stopped being so glib on Facebook. If I have the time to comment, I have the time to stop and say more than a quick prayer. I may not know specifics and details, but when I do, I can lift those up to God. And I can always spend time lovingly asking God to work His Perfect Will in the lives of those who are seeking prayer support. After all, God knows ALL the details, and far better than I do!

Keeping a prayer journal really helps. Especially when I keep it close at hand. I can easily jot down the name or request of the person who has asked for prayer. And having it in my journal means that I will see it again; I will revisit the request, pray about it again, or write in how it was answered (if I know).

So what?

None of this makes me a better person or a better prayer warrior than my neighbor. That’s not the point. The point is it makes me a better prayer warrior than I was before. It helps me see how interconnected we all are– we ALL need prayer, and we ALL need to seek help sometimes. It helps me to be more consistent and disciplined in my prayer life. It keeps me grateful– grateful that I can do something to help others; grateful for the gifts and blessings I have; grateful that God listens and answers prayer; grateful that God has given me so many friends and family to love. And it helps me to be more transparent about my own needs and struggles.

On that note, I am asking for prayer today, as David and I have some decisions to make as we get older. Some decisions are about finances; others relate to our health and lifestyle changes we may need to make. We want to honor God with our “golden” years, whether that involves continuing to live upstairs above our store, or moving and selling the store.

So please pray for me.
Thank you.

Unspoken

What does it mean when someone says they have an “unspoken” prayer request? If you are new to Christianity or to prayer, this can seem confusing. Aren’t we supposed to present our requests to the Father? Aren’t we supposed to pray for one another? How can we ask someone to pray for us, and then hold back on giving a reason? Is that “cheating” somehow?

There are several reasons why someone may ask for “unspoken” prayer, and there is no reason why we should not pray just as fervently for an unspoken request. So why would someone be reluctant or even unable to speak their request?

  • Sometimes, they are passing along a request from another. Someone has shared a burden, and it seems too large for just one or two people. But the original request was not shared publicly, nor did the sharer give permission to share details in a group. It is important to honor the other person’s attempt to avoid gossip and oversharing.
  • Sometimes, the request involves a delicate personal situation– an unsaved spouse, an aging parent facing financial difficulties, etc.– and the details of a request might cause unnecessary pain or shame to another, or strain an already tenuous relationship.
  • Sometimes, the person asking for prayer cannot put their request into words. They know there is a problem, but they may not fully understand what they need or even want. Sometimes, a sudden change throws them into turmoil. Other times, an unrecognized problem has been looming, and they are taken by surprise. Sometimes, there are multiple issues and layers of issues that can’t be explained easily.
  • Sometimes, the person is ashamed of asking. They may feel like a failure for even asking. It may be an issue they thought they had overcome, and they are reluctant to admit that it isn’t resolved. They may not be ready to confess a secret sin, but they know they need help.

Whatever the reason, we should always be willing to pray, especially when asked to do so. But how can I pray for someone who won’t or can’t tell me what they need? 

In many ways it is the same– If I know that “Sue” is battling cancer, I am still praying to the same God as I am for “Janet” who can’t tell me about her recent diagnosis or her ongoing battle with a wayward teenage daughter. Yes, I can be more specific in my prayer for Sue, but I can still lift up Janet as someone who needs God’s care, protection, and encouragement. I can acknowledge that God loves both women, and that God is the only one who can meet their needs. I can praise God that HE knows all; that He is sovereign over all, and that He cares about Sue and Janet (and Me) far more than I can understand. 

What are some practical guidelines when praying for “unspoken” requests?

  • Honor the other person’s privacy. Don’t try to drag a confession or sordid details from someone who is already struggling to share their need for prayer. Your “need to know” all the details is less than another person’s need for earnest encouragement, compassion, and support.
  • Concentrate on the basics— don’t try to “guess” at specifics. Pray for their general health, well-being, growth, encouragement, and strength to persevere. If you know of an ongoing situation, don’t get bogged down on praying for just that issue. Use this opportunity to uphold your friend or neighbor, brother or sister in loving prayer, not intense scrutiny.

  • Do not cast judgment. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “should” be more open or share more details. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “really” needs your prayer. We all know people who “overshare,” and we all know people who seem addicted to drama. We all know other people who never open up or seem independent and self-contained. Their “unspoken” requests are still “real” requests– even if they are making the third one this week. Lift up your sister or brother with love, not exasperation or comparison with anyone else. Remember, you would not want someone else dissecting your life trying to decide if your prayer requests are “worth” their time.
  • Thank God for the opportunity to join God in loving others! If someone is asking for your prayer, it generally means that they respect and trust you to respond. God is giving you a unique and wonderful opportunity to join in His work! Prayer of this type is not a burden or an obligation. It should be a joyful experience.
  • Follow up. Let the other person know that you are praying for them. If possible, pray with them, remembering that this is not an opportunity to pry, poke, or condescend, but to uplift, encourage, and invite God to act! If you get the opportunity to do so, check in with the other person in a few days or a week, to let them know you are still praying.
  • Use this opportunity to build your relationship. ”In what other ways can I be praying for you?” ”Is there anything I can do for you?” Don’t make a fuss. They may (even probably will) say no. Don’t pry about details, but offer practical assistance, as well as prayer, whenever possible.

I try to use this model whenever I get an “unspoken” request– whether in person, as part of a prayer chain, or scrolling through social media. EVERY request is an opportunity. EVERY request deserves my eager and faithful response.

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