“I Would Prefer Not To..”

Years ago, our high school class read a classic short story by the American author, Herman Melville. Bartleby the Scrivener tells the story of an unusual clerk– one who begins as a good worker, efficient and conscientious, but ends up dying in prison, hopeless, ruined, and broken. His tragic downward spiral begins one day when the lawyer for whom he works asks him to examine a short document. This is a commonplace request, much like asking a writer to proofread her final draft before submitting it to the editor. However, Bartleby responds by saying “I would prefer not to.” The startled lawyer decides not to force the issue, and gives the task to someone else.

Bartleby’s refusal to do what is expected of him escalates until he no longer does ANY work. He refuses to work, refuses to leave the office, and refuses to eat. He isn’t angry or violent, but he remains defiant until the very end.

So it is with us when we are living in sin and rebellion against God. It may start out small– some little habit or attitude. We know it is wrong, but instead of obeying God’s word, we calmly say, “I would prefer not to…” not to tell the truth, not to turn away from porn, not to help my neighbor, not to agree with God about my behavior.

8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
⁹He will not always chide,
    nor will he keep his anger forever.
¹⁰He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
¹²as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:6-12 (ESV)

God is patient. He is gracious and kind. He does not treat us as our offenses deserve. He gives us the chance to repent. He offers forgiveness. But every time we say to God, “I would prefer not to,” we get a little more like Bartleby– isolating ourselves, wasting our potential to be all that God created us to be, growing more defiant and more rebellious, until we waste away into a prison of our own making, and, finally, death.

One of the things that makes Melville’s story so disturbing is that the narrator keeps trying to explain away Bartleby’s defiance–perhaps he is having trouble with his eyesight and doesn’t want to admit it; perhaps he was traumatized at a previous job; maybe there is a reason for his passive aggression. But in all of his attempts to understand, the narrator cannot save Bartleby from prison and death.

Understanding sin cannot change us. Excusing sin does nothing to stop its consequences (see Romans 6:23). No one killed Bartleby, yet he died because he “would prefer not to” do the things he needed to do to live. His small act of defiance, which starts out singular and almost heroic (after all, who wouldn’t like to tell the boss, “I would prefer not to,” every once in awhile?), sounds innocuous. Such a little thing to refuse. Surely God would not punish us for so small a thing…until one small thing leads to another…and another; a bigger rebellion; a numbing complacency; loss of perspective; a heart of stone; isolation; starvation; imprisonment; death.

What am I refusing to do for God today? What am I refusing to give up? Refusing to admit? Refusing to listen to? Am I excusing myself? Do I tell myself I am not in rebellion because I have been polite in my refusal to obey? Do I comfort myself that my rebellion is really just a matter of “preference,” and will not be consequential? That God’s Holiness is less important than my comfort or convenience?

Many people coast through life in the belief that God is SO merciful and SO loving that He can’t also be Holy and Just– that His commands are really suggestions; that His wrath is mythical; that our own wisdom is sufficient for living a “good” life and pleasing Him. But God isn’t concerned about whether we live a “good” life– He wants us to have an abundant life– filled with joy and peace, love and relationship, both now and forevermore. In fact, He would “prefer not to” punish us. He is not “willing” (i.e. desirous) that any should perish (2 Peter 3:9), but that everyone would some to repentance. That doesn’t mean that He won’t punish those who refuse to obey Him, or those who refuse to turn from their rebellion and trust Him; only that He will continue to give us the opportunity to recognize our need for forgiveness.

¹⁰If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. ¹¹These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.¹²“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. ¹³Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command you. ¹⁵No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
John 15:10-15 ESV– taken from biblegateway.com

God has made it possible for us to be more than servants. We don’t have to respond to God as Bartleby responded to his boss– though God has the ultimate authority to demand our loyalty and obedience. Through Jesus, we are sons and daughters and friends! When God gives us commands, like “Love one another,” they are still commands. But His heart is that we should trust that all of His commands are righteous, life-giving, and in our eternal best interest. But some of us are still saying, “I would prefer not to.”

October 7, 2024 0

Exceedingly, Abundantly, Above…

“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,”
Ephesians 3:20 (KJV)

What do I expect as I pray? What is the outcome that I hope for? Most of the time, it looks like one of the following:

I expect to praise and worship God; I hope that He will hear my heart of gratitude and worship, and that He will be pleased with my words and actions
I expect Him to act on or through a particular circumstance, such as providing healing or guidance to someone in need
I expect to hear from Him, or to gain wisdom or guidance for myself
I expect that He will honor His promise to forgive my sins when I confess them
I expect to grow closer to God as I speak to Him and wait to hear from Him

But Paul reminds us in the book of Ephesians that God is able, through the power of Christ at work in us (emphasis added), to do much more than anything we can imagine or ask! What does that mean in my pursuit of prayer?

Well, it means more than I can explain in any blog entry, but let me attempt to imagine a few outcomes that go beyond my normal expectations:

Prayer is a matter of choice. It is also a matter of obedience and acknowledgement. No matter how short, or faltering, or disorganized it may be, each prayer proclaims that God is GOD–worthy of praise, able to save and forgive, supremely authoritative over my life and the lives of others, and ever present to listen to every voice that calls out to Him. And it proclaims this both to the physical world (if we’re praying aloud or with others) and to an unseen and metaphysical world inhabited by spiritual beings who also owe God their worship and obedience.
Prayer is a partnership. In some mysterious way, God allows us to participate in His ongoing work– whether it is bringing healing, joining the chorus of angels in songs of praise, praying for God’s hand to move in global and historical affairs, or developing our personal relationship with Him–God chooses to let us “have a voice” in what He does. God is still in charge. Our prayers will not cause Him to go against His own will. But as we pray, we grow to understand God’s heart. We begin to want what He wants, and to ask for His will because it is what we want most. As we see and hear about miracles, we can know that we are “part of the team.”
Prayer changes things–often in ways we cannot ever see or measure. Someone may pray for years to see a relative or neighbor come to Christ– seemingly without success. What they may NOT see is how their testimony, though spurned by the object of their prayers, has brought others to Christ over the years. And each one of THOSE people has the potential to witness to others– including the one who rejected the original efforts! A prayer for healing that seems to go unanswered may inspire someone to commit their life to researching a disease of find a cure so that thousands of others may be spared the suffering you prayed to alleviate. Praying for peace or justice may not have immediate effect. But we cannot know or imagine the cumulative effect of such prayers in bringing lasting peace or more perfect justice to our children or future generations.
Prayer changes people– especially us! If I am praying for someone, my thoughts and actions will follow. I will take a more active interest in those for whom I pray. I will (or should!) reach out with practical efforts and partner with others who share my concerns. I will give, share, encourage, work, and advocate– not just pray and move on unchanged.
Prayer has substance. We imagine prayer to be ethereal and mental or spiritual. But the Apostle John, writing in Revelation 8:3-4, describes the prayers of the believers (saints) as incense. Our prayers have a pleasing odor, and they rise like smoke into the presence of God. There is nothing empty or “fake” about prayers lifted to Almighty God. Our prayer is not just an exercise in wishful thinking or the power of group-think or “positive vibes.”

We serve an amazing, limitless, all-powerful, all-wise God! Our prayers may seem like just words–humble, inadequate, or even unintelligible– but in God’s hands, they are mighty tools, bringing Him glory in ways we can’t even begin to explain or imagine!

August 23, 2024 0

Hidden Among the “Baggage”

I am always drawn by the stories in the Bible. Stories of ordinary and extraordinary people used by God– sometimes in spite of themselves–to rescue others, to teach others, to serve as examples, and to show how God wants to interact (or discipline) those He loves.

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

One such person was a man named Saul, son of Kish. Of all the young men of Israel, God chose Saul to be their first king. This was a mixed blessing for the nation. In asking for a human king, they were saying that the did not want to be “ruled” by God or His prophets. God warned Israel through the prophet Samuel that they might come to regret having a human king. They were rejecting the pattern established by God under Moses, and asking for a system of leadership that matched the surrounding nations. This would make it easier to make treaties, do business, and interact with neighboring countries, but it would also bring some of the same problems (succession, power struggles, greed, etc.) that plagued all the other monarchies and empires around them. The choice of Saul reveals not only God’s character, but the character of Israel. God chose a man from one of the least of the families of the least of the tribes of Israel. Saul’s father, Kish, was a man of some power and wealth, but his family line was one of younger sons of younger sons. God often chooses the “least” among us to lead. He is not a respecter of rank or birth, wealth or experience. However, God also chose Saul as a man who “looked” the part. Saul was “head and shoulders” taller than others. He was good-looking and well-educated. Wasn’t this exactly was Israel wanted in a king?

On the day Samuel called a great assembly to publicly anoint the new king, lots were cast to show God’s choice. Among the 12 tribes of Israel, the tribe of Benjamin was chosen– the youngest of the sons of Jacob, and the smallest of the tribes. A lesser family among the tribe was then selected. Finally, the choice was narrowed down to Saul, son of Kish. But Saul could not be found! A search ensued, and he was eventually found– hiding among the baggage! The tallest man in the kingdom– the one who already had been confirmed as God’s choice– tried to hide from his own coronation! And it was God who revealed Saul’s hiding place and forced him to face his exaltation!

The ongoing story of Saul’s reign as king is filled with both triumph and tragedy. Time and again, Saul tries to “hide” behind excuses. He fails to obey God’s command, but blames his weakness on others. God takes away His favor, and His spirit leaves Saul, who descends into paranoia, anger, and madness.

But today, I want to look at the idea that Saul thought he could hide “among the baggage.” (1 Samuel 10:22) Other translations say he was “among the stuff” or “among the supplies.” Saul did not run away from the assembly altogether; he did not reject his role. Yet he tried to hide from the gravity and responsibility of kingship. In many ways, this shows good qualities of humility and an understanding of his own limitations. Saul’s problem wasn’t that he thought he was “born to be king.” Saul wasn’t born to be king– it was an honor thrust upon him. Saul’s problem was that he wasn’t prepared to let God rule through him. Saul would be the titular King of Israel. But who would be the King over Saul’s own life and heart? Saul, like the nation he ruled, ended up rejecting God’s rule. He tried to follow the letter of the law, and the traditions of his people, but he did not always choose to follow the God who had created them, nor did he humble himself to accept God’s correction.

We may not be chosen for a position of leadership. But what responsibilities are we hiding from today? Are we surrounding ourselves with baggage? Do we hide in the busyness of our hobbies or our job? Do we cover ourselves with “obligations” that leave us drained to no real purpose? How many hours do we spend hiding in chit-chat, or watching television, or shopping, or daydreaming? How many times are we volunteering to work with strangers in order to avoid spending time with difficult relatives or neighbors? How often do we offer up the sacrifice of generic worship instead of the sacrifice of a teachable spirit?

Saul had many gifts, which he used to strengthen his nation and expand its territory. He had the opportunity to do even more great things for God and for Israel. But he is mostly remembered for his failures– his defiance of Samuel’s orders and excuses about disobedience; his ongoing murderous pursuit of his anointed successor, David; his consultation in the dead of night with the witch of Endor; his ignoble death in battle… We too, have opportunities to do great things with God’s help and in His power. We cannot hide forever among the “stuff” of life. God will reveal our hiding places– to others, even if we don’t acknowledge them!

Today, I pray that I will come out from behind the baggage of my everyday activities, and be available for God’s good purposes!