baggage – Pursuing Prayer

I am always drawn by the stories in the Bible. Stories of ordinary and extraordinary people used by God– sometimes in spite of themselves–to rescue others, to teach others, to serve as examples, and to show how God wants to interact (or discipline) those He loves.

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One such person was a man named Saul, son of Kish. Of all the young men of Israel, God chose Saul to be their first king. This was a mixed blessing for the nation. In asking for a human king, they were saying that the did not want to be “ruled” by God or His prophets. God warned Israel through the prophet Samuel that they might come to regret having a human king. They were rejecting the pattern established by God under Moses, and asking for a system of leadership that matched the surrounding nations. This would make it easier to make treaties, do business, and interact with neighboring countries, but it would also bring some of the same problems (succession, power struggles, greed, etc.) that plagued all the other monarchies and empires around them. The choice of Saul reveals not only God’s character, but the character of Israel. God chose a man from one of the least of the families of the least of the tribes of Israel. Saul’s father, Kish, was a man of some power and wealth, but his family line was one of younger sons of younger sons. God often chooses the “least” among us to lead. He is not a respecter of rank or birth, wealth or experience. However, God also chose Saul as a man who “looked” the part. Saul was “head and shoulders” taller than others. He was good-looking and well-educated. Wasn’t this exactly was Israel wanted in a king?

On the day Samuel called a great assembly to publicly anoint the new king, lots were cast to show God’s choice. Among the 12 tribes of Israel, the tribe of Benjamin was chosen– the youngest of the sons of Jacob, and the smallest of the tribes. A lesser family among the tribe was then selected. Finally, the choice was narrowed down to Saul, son of Kish. But Saul could not be found! A search ensued, and he was eventually found– hiding among the baggage! The tallest man in the kingdom– the one who already had been confirmed as God’s choice– tried to hide from his own coronation! And it was God who revealed Saul’s hiding place and forced him to face his exaltation!

The ongoing story of Saul’s reign as king is filled with both triumph and tragedy. Time and again, Saul tries to “hide” behind excuses. He fails to obey God’s command, but blames his weakness on others. God takes away His favor, and His spirit leaves Saul, who descends into paranoia, anger, and madness.

But today, I want to look at the idea that Saul thought he could hide “among the baggage.” (1 Samuel 10:22) Other translations say he was “among the stuff” or “among the supplies.” Saul did not run away from the assembly altogether; he did not reject his role. Yet he tried to hide from the gravity and responsibility of kingship. In many ways, this shows good qualities of humility and an understanding of his own limitations. Saul’s problem wasn’t that he thought he was “born to be king.” Saul wasn’t born to be king– it was an honor thrust upon him. Saul’s problem was that he wasn’t prepared to let God rule through him. Saul would be the titular King of Israel. But who would be the King over Saul’s own life and heart? Saul, like the nation he ruled, ended up rejecting God’s rule. He tried to follow the letter of the law, and the traditions of his people, but he did not always choose to follow the God who had created them, nor did he humble himself to accept God’s correction.

We may not be chosen for a position of leadership. But what responsibilities are we hiding from today? Are we surrounding ourselves with baggage? Do we hide in the busyness of our hobbies or our job? Do we cover ourselves with “obligations” that leave us drained to no real purpose? How many hours do we spend hiding in chit-chat, or watching television, or shopping, or daydreaming? How many times are we volunteering to work with strangers in order to avoid spending time with difficult relatives or neighbors? How often do we offer up the sacrifice of generic worship instead of the sacrifice of a teachable spirit?

Saul had many gifts, which he used to strengthen his nation and expand its territory. He had the opportunity to do even more great things for God and for Israel. But he is mostly remembered for his failures– his defiance of Samuel’s orders and excuses about disobedience; his ongoing murderous pursuit of his anointed successor, David; his consultation in the dead of night with the witch of Endor; his ignoble death in battle… We too, have opportunities to do great things with God’s help and in His power. We cannot hide forever among the “stuff” of life. God will reveal our hiding places– to others, even if we don’t acknowledge them!

Today, I pray that I will come out from behind the baggage of my everyday activities, and be available for God’s good purposes!

Please see these other links for more commentary:
https://jentezenfranklin.org/daily-devotions/what-are-you-hiding-behind#:~:text=%E2%80%9CHe%20is%20hiding%20among%20the%20baggage.%E2%80%9D%201Sa%2010%3A22,tackling%20the%20job%20God%20appointed%20you%20to%20do.
https://www.thekingdomcollective.com/spurgeon/sermon/3322/

My Mom died recently, and my brother and sister and I are cleaning out her estate. This is by no means a small task, as my Mother saved EVERYTHING! All of our elementary school report cards, 4-H Awards programs, class play programs, thousands of photos (mostly unidentified), post cards from all of our vacations (including places we re-visited!), ticket stubs from movies and football games and banquets, our old baby shoes, broken toys, recipes clipped from magazines and old boxes, letters we sent from college, and letters sent to her when she was in high school. She even saved such things that her own mother and grandmother had saved! Souvenirs and memories, all tucked away or piled up throughout her house.

My mom was what is known as a “hoarder.” She was pathological in her collecting bits and pieces of everything that went on all around her. She had clothing she had never worn. She had Christmas gifts she had opened and put back in their wrapping, but never enjoyed. She had books she had never read, DVDs she had never watched, and pots and pans she had never used. She had stacks and bags and boxes of memories she always meant to sort through– someday.

As she grew older, she sometimes would lament that we, as her children, would be burdened with the job of sorting through all her “stuff.” Even so, she wouldn’t let us touch any of it until the last months of her life, when it was obvious that she would never be able to do it herself. And we weren’t to throw anything out– only make an attempt to organize it all!

Of course, now we are throwing out the majority of what she kept. Much of it was damaged by being stacked and stored in the haphazard way it was. Some was damaged by a leaky roof, or mice. Many of the things that are damaged were once useful, and might have been useful yet if they had not been hoarded and held back. Blankets and towels that might have been passed on were left to be chewed up or rotted. Books and photos are warped or stained.

I loved Mom, and she was a great woman of God– a prayer warrior and evangelist. But she was human. In this part of her life, she missed some great opportunities to bless others with the resources she had. She even missed the opportunity to enjoy many of the things she obsessively stored for “someday.” Moreover, she saved many things that weren’t useful. Old boxes and jars of spoiled food, old bills and advertisements, expired credit cards and driver’s licenses.

I have been reminded of many things as I’ve helped go through Mom’s “things.” There are many wonderful memories that still can be found in all of her souvenirs. I found an old storybook– one of my favorites–about a Mama Bear and her naughty, curious little cub. “Why do you love me?,” the cub asks after getting into trouble yet again. “Because you’re my little bear,” she answers as she cleans the wounds and lovingly carries her cub home. Love transcends mischief. It transcends things like lost opportunities and hoarding tendencies, and the frustrations of life.

But sometimes we hang on to things, not out of love, but out of pain or desperation. Mom was a child of the Great Depression. Her family had to move a lot when she was younger. She was forced to give away toys and clothes she wanted to keep; forced to leave old friends and make new ones; forced to make things “last” when new things couldn’t be had. She spent many years having to be frugal and careful to make small memories last a lifetime. She became obsessed with collecting “souvenirs” of even the smallest events, even tragic ones, and holding on to what was “good enough,” even if something better was offered.

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Many of Mom’s “souvenirs” have become baggage for those of us who follow. And many of our “souvenirs” will be baggage for those who follow us. Some of our scars will be passed down to our children. Some of our hopes and dreams will be unrealized–unopened and unused gifts that “might have been.” Others objects and experiences will be pleasant reminders of the love that lasts beyond our own lives and limitations. But objects, in themselves, cannot take the place of the actual experiences of joy, love, and peace they are meant to represent.

God wants us to hold fast to certain things. Truth. Hope. Love. Faith. But He calls us to let go of other things. Bitterness, resentment, anger, self-pity. I know that in my final days, I will probably find that I am still carrying some baggage. But I hope that I will find more souvenirs– good memories of a life enjoyed, goals accomplished, and relationships that have stood the test of time. Mom had those in abundance. But some were hidden among the baggage–treasured memories of those who loved her, and those whom she loved, surrounded by the baggage of heartache and longing. I pray that those who follow me won’t have to search among the ruins to find my souvenirs, or hunt through piles of souvenirs to find my treasures.

Tag: baggage

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