Finding Beauty in the Broken

The other day, a local artist stopped by our shop. He commented on the giant mirrors we have lining the north wall of the store. I explained that when we first moved in, the mirrors were left over from a dance studio that had once inhabited the space. They left the mirrors and the barres on the opposite wall. We liked them and left them in place. The mirrors bring in a lot of extra light, and they make our space look bigger than it actually is. The barres make convenient spaces to hang linens and other items for display.

The artist nodded. I went on to explain that we hated the thought of someone removing the mirrors (four panels that run about 7 feet in height and stretch about 30 feet along the wall) because of the risk that they would be shattered and ruined. Then, the artist told his story. One of his early studios was in a small garage lined with large mirrors. Like us, he liked that the mirrors made the small space feel lighter and larger. The extra light was also helpful in creating his art. But when he moved to another studio, the panels were removed, and they broke into several pieces. Instead of throwing them out, however, he glued them into a new pattern on the walls of his now larger studio. He used the broken mirrors to create light and beauty– different from before, but with new meaning and renewed purpose.

And it reminded me of what Jesus does for us. We were created to reflect the light of God’s love, to bring light into a dark world. But often, we feel shattered and useless. Sometimes, God is trying to move us into a different space; different circumstances; a different outlook. From our perspective, it looks like failure. We might even try to glue ourselves back into the same old pattern, but without success. And often, we expect God to see us as just so many shattered pieces, ready to be swept up and thrown out. Or something so broken that we no longer have the power to reflect His light.

But God is an artist. He delights in rescuing those of us who are broken. God redeems our purpose and our worth, giving us new and abundant life. He finds beauty in the broken, and a message in our mess. The prophet Jeremiah speaks to this through the artistic metaphor of the Potter and the clay. (see Jeremiah chapter 18) God molds us and shapes us; He has the power and authority to reshape us for new beauty and usefulness. God was speaking to Jeremiah about the nation of Israel. They had broken their covenant with God, and He was about to punish them. But God still had plans for their renewal and their future– including their ultimate redemption at the hands of His Son! God doesn’t give up on us. Of course, God’s message through Jeremiah is not only about renewal, but about submitting to His design and purpose for us. We cannot reshape ourselves– whether clay pots or shattered mirrors. Only God has the power to shape our purpose.

But more than that, God can reshape our outlook, so that WE too can see the beauty around us, in spite of the brokenness. We see people differently; we see situations differently. We see possibilities where we used to see only problems. We see hope, where there used to be despair. And we are empowered to reflect that hope to those around us. Even though we have been broken, we can still fulfill our God-given purpose of reflecting light and love and beauty.

God has been preparing me for a big move lately. After several years, David and I will be closing our shop at the end of this year. Someday, another renter or owner may remove the lovely mirrors that line our north wall. And part of my heart feels broken at the thought of “moving on” and starting a new chapter. But my artist neighbor reminded me that there is often great beauty in the broken– if we have the eyes to see it. God isn’t finished with me– I will find a meaningful way to serve and share and reflect His love. It may be in a different way or a different place. And our shop will go on to be used for another purpose at some point. And even if the lovely mirrors are no longer in place, the north wall will have beauty and purpose for someone else.

November 8, 2024 0

Why Should I Pray for My Enemy?

But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Matthew 5:44 (ESV)

The obvious answer to the question in the title is that Jesus commands it. But what practical and spiritual reasons are there for such a counter-intuitive action? Jesus himself continues:

^43-47“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
Matthew 5:43-47 (The Message)

If we are following Christ and asking His Spirit to help us grow in Godliness, we should be acting– and reacting– like God. God makes the sun shine and the rain to fall on everyone. He is Mercy and Grace personified. That takes away nothing from His ability to exact justice. But His true desire is to show mercy– and that includes mercy THROUGH us!

But there are other good (and related) reasons to pray for our enemies.

Such prayers put things in perspective. If I focus on the injustices that my enemies have done (or continue to do), they become larger than God’s power to restore and redeem. If I focus on God’s power, the injustices, while still real, take their proper place. God is bigger; God is greater; God is wiser; God is Sovereign.
Such prayers remind me that I am not immune from causing pain and distress to others. It is natural for us to see our enemies as completely different from ourselves. “They” are evil, callous, and deserving of punishment. But, if we are honest– we are also deserving of punishment. We, too, have been callous, careless, selfish, angry, or bitter with someone, somewhere, at some time. God has dealt with us mercifully. How can we be grateful for His mercy and fail to pray for others who need it?

Praying for our enemies may not change them, but it will change US. Praying for my enemies forces me to release my anger and bitterness, so that I don’t become trapped in a cycle of letting my enemy become my obsession or even my role model. I say this from negative experience; NOT praying for someone I considered my enemy led to me say and do things that were unkind and vicious– because I thought she “deserved” the same treatment she had given me and others. One day I woke up and realized that I was slowly becoming like her– letting her behavior determine who I was in return: suspicious, hard-hearted, critical, and vindictive.

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Praying for others reminds us that our true enemies are not other people. Once again, it is easy and natural to create a monster out of the person who is our “enemy.” They have often caused very real and very intense pain and suffering– personal, physical, psychological, emotional, financial, and sometimes chronic and catastrophic–sometimes, they show no remorse; sometimes, they refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. God knows all this. He sees all this. He aches for our pain– and for their rebellion. But the root cause is not a person– no matter how involved they are in delivering the pain. The real cause is Sin and Brokenness. That’s why WE can’t fix it. That’s why WE don’t have the power or authority to administer righteous judgment over it. And that also means–
Such prayers can free us of the burden of guilt, shame, bitterness, and hurt of the past. That doesn’t mean that we must deny the very real hurt we have felt. But we no longer have to be bound and shackled by it. When we can lift up our enemies and our past, and give them to God– really let go and give them to Him–He will carry that load, and let us run the race before us.

One caveat here. Loving your enemy; praying for them– these are not the same as believing their lies or consenting to their abuse. There may be people in your life that you must pray for– from a distance! You can love someone, and still set clear boundaries to protect yourself and others. God will never abandon us. But He doesn’t call us to enable others in their evil actions. This is especially true in cases of domestic violence. Love your enemy, but get help and healing. And continue to pray!

October 3, 2022 0

On the Occasion of a Whimper

Have you ever noticed in reading through the Bible how often God shows up, not on the occasion of fanfare and praise, but on the occasion of a whimper? When all hope seems lost, and a heart is so broken it can no longer call out– when words are useless and all that is left is a dull, exhausted moaning?

God “inhabits the praise of His people” (Psalm 22:3), but He is also “close to the brokenhearted” (Psalm 34:18). We work so hard to get close to the heart of God, but sometimes, we need to be broken to actually get there. We need to experience the God who finds us in our failures and rescues us from disasters– even those of our own making. God loves us enough to come to us in our brokenness– and He loves us too much to leave us there. God is not a “fairy godfather” who will magically make our circumstances comfortable and painless. But He is a true Father, who will provide comfort and strength to get back up and face the future with hope and courage.

Long ago, a woman named Hagar was despondent. She was a slave who was told by her mistress to sleep with the master so he could have a son. Hagar got pregnant when her mistress couldn’t, and she became proud and disdainful toward her mistress. When she was punished for her arrogance, she ran away into the desert–a foolish and impulsive act, as she had nowhere to go and no one to support her or her unborn son. An angel found her by a spring of water and told her to return and submit to her mistress. Several years later, she and her son, Ishmael, were sent into the desert because of Ishmael’s contempt for his brother. Ishmael was near death, and his mother in despair. Not being able to watch her son die, she moved a short distance away and began to sob. But another angel came and showed Hagar a well of water. He reminded her that God had seen her the first time she ran to the desert, and He had heard her crying this time, too. Hagar was not a queen; she was not a warrior princess or the daughter of a noble. She was not righteous or innocent. She was a rebellious slave; the victim of a sinful scheme, but headstrong and rash. God did not stop her from running away; He did not give her victory over her mistress. But God rescued Hagar and Ishmael. And He blessed them both– on the occasion of a whimper. (See Genesis 16 and Genesis 21)

Today, don’t be afraid to whimper. Don’t pretend that everything is under your control– it isn’t. But be willing to look and listen for the ways that God will show himself. It may be in the words of a stranger; it may be in the beauty of a sunset; it may even be that song on the radio, or a cool drink of water in the middle of a desert. God doesn’t always rescue us from sorrow and pain. Sometimes He rescues us through it.

February 9, 2022 0

Of Broken Femurs, Hearts, and Toilets

The past two weeks have been just a bit chaotic for our families. My mother fell and broke her femur, near her hip–not the hip she broke over a year ago, but the other one! Less than twenty-four hours later, my mother-in-law fell–and broke her femur. Each mom ended up in a different hospital for surgery, and in a different rehabilitation facility, located nearly fifty miles apart. Last week, two members of our extended family died on the same day in the same city; their funerals were a day apart in two different parts of the city, but handled by the same funeral home. On the day of the first funeral, we found out that another member of the family died. That same night, our toilet broke. Water poured into our upstairs bathroom, soaking the floor, running into the next room, and dripping down to the floor below. In the middle of all this, I slipped on the ice, fell hard, and bruised my ribs.

Where was God in all this? He was right there in every situation. God doesn’t disappear when the going gets tough– He is steady, sure, and faithful.

Neither of our moms suffered a concussion or any other major damage from their falls. They were able to get treatment and surgery, and they are receiving care and therapy. And, while this is something we might have taken for granted at one time, it is something for which we praise God, because it could have been much more tragic in both cases.
We live close enough to both moms that we have been able to help and visit (where we can because of continuing COVID restrictions). Though the facilities are fifty miles from each other, neither is fifty miles from our home. Also, both moms are able to receive phone calls, and we are able to receive updates from the staff at each place.
We have close families, and wonderful neighbors and friends– we are not alone in caring for our moms or grieving our loved ones, and there is a network of prayer, support and concern that staggers my imagination! I cannot imagine trying to navigate this without help– again, this is something we might take for granted, but God has been in the details long before any of this happened. Our families, friends, and neighbors represent dozens of church bodies from around the country and the world, as well as a significant group close to home– how marvelous that God allows us to work together as a body in every situation.

Though we have lost three family members in rapid succession, all three were believers! All three left a legacy of faith, love, and hope. We mourn their loss, but we also celebrate their lives with joy and not regret.
David HATES plumbing, but he knew what to do to fix the toilet. The damage from the flooding was minimal, all of our towels are freshly laundered, and the toilet works again!
My fall could have resulted in ANOTHER broken femur– or a broken arm, concussion, etc.. While it hurts to sneeze or yawn or blow my nose, at least it doesn’t hurt to breathe, and I can move and go about my day, cautiously, but normally.

God allows difficult things to come into our lives– and I don’t have any definitive answer for WHY we have been experiencing so many trials all at once. But I can say this:

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Trials make us stop and look and question– and that can be a good thing. God is big enough, wise enough, and sovereign “enough” to handle our tears, our fears, our weakness, and our momentary doubts. In fact, it is in recognizing our limitations that we can focus more on God’s limitless grace and boundless love!
Trials bring us closer to each other. Our chaotic couple of weeks are just a drop in the bucket among all the other problems of the world, but so many wonderful people have called or sent messages of hope and encouragement over the past two weeks, my heart is bursting– not with the pain, but with joy and gratitude.
Trials teach us patience (see my post on “Be Careful What You Pray For.”) The toilet breaking was my low point this past week– even though it did not directly touch on our health or a loved one. But God sent friends and angels to remind me that this was a very minor problem– even among all the others– and that God was “flushing” away some unnecessary angst if I would just let it go!

There is nothing that takes God by surprise– nothing that causes Him to pause and wonder, “what happens next.” I can praise God in the hospital as I watch my mom cry in pain. I can praise God when my husband finds his mother “alive” (when he couldn’t be sure). I can praise God when I’m flat on my face on the ice, winded and sore. I can praise God when toilet water is soaking my socks. I can praise God when I hug cousins who have lost their parents to cancer or dementia, or age, knowing that God is with us every moment, in every tear, every hug, every shared memory, and every hope that our loved ones now experience what we will also know someday.

I’m ready for 2022 to calm down a little bit. But if it doesn’t, I’m also ready to be broken again– whether through broken legs, broken toilets, or broken hearts. God is in the business of repairing and restoring broken things and broken people. And no one does it better!

January 26, 2022 0

Cleanliness or Brokenness?

“Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” If you grew up hearing this old maxim (as I did), it may seem like something very wise–even Biblical. After all, so many of the chapters in Leviticus talk about ritual washing and being clean (or unclean). God’s people should be clean and tidy, organized and pure. But if you continue reading through the Old Testament, God becomes very angry with His people. Sure, they are following the letter of His law. They are bringing sacrifices, making sure that they wash everything properly and measure out the right amounts of incense. In Jesus’ day, the Pharisees even tithed their spices! Yet, Jesus called the Pharisees a “brood of vipers,” (Matthew 12:34) and “whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.” (Matthew 23:27b NIV)

We spend so much time worrying about appearances. But just because our lives look “clean” and “tidy” doesn’t mean that we are close to God. God isn’t impressed by our outward observance of His laws or by our neat appearance. Jesus did not reach out to the clean and tidy Pharisees; He went out of His way to speak to lepers and tax collectors and others who were considered “dirty” and tainted.

That doesn’t give us a pass to be slovenly or careless about hygiene! But it does mean that we should care less about what others see, and more about what God sees–on the inside. God wants to see hearts that are humble and willing to serve. He doesn’t want clean hands that are unwilling to reach out in love; He doesn’t want spotless houses or cars filled with complaining, gossip, and anger. God hasn’t asked us to “tidy up” our lives or “get our act together” to impress our neighbors. He asks us to repent of our uncleanness; to be broken in spirit, so that we will submit to His yoke and follow Him. HE will provide the cleaning we need, through the power of His “once-for-all” sacrifice!

In other words, “Brokenness is next to Godliness; and Godliness leads to Perfect cleanliness.” Our sins cannot be covered up or cleaned up by our efforts; they can only be washed away by the Blood of the Lamb. Only through Him can we become truly clean.

When we come before God in prayer, let us come, not just with clean hands, but with hearts that are open and tender, willing to listen to His words of wisdom, and follow in His footsteps.

October 1, 2021 0

Aromatic Prayer

We have a tiny herb garden. It’s just a couple of plants each of a few different herbs– basil, rosemary, parsley, chives, etc., in small planters on our back stoop. Just enough to have fresh herbs for cooking. They smell really good when I go out to water them, or clip some to add to chicken stew or spaghetti sauce or noodles and butter.

They add flavor and color, too, but it is the smell that grabs the attention and brings immediate joy.

Our prayers are supposed to be like that, too. The Bible compares our prayers to incense with a pleasing aroma. God delights in the fragrance of our prayers.

That seems reasonable for prayers of praise, but what about prayers of pain? How can such prayers bring joy to God?

When I water my herbs, they give off a pleasing aroma. But when I chop and crush the herbs to use them, the scent is stronger, the flavor richer, as the plants give all they have to the dish. Left in their planters, they will grow tall, but they will not be useful. They will smell good, but they won’t fulfill their greater purpose.

God wants our praise– certainly. And He is worthy of it–completely. But God also wants our chopped, crushed, bruised, torn, and painful prayers of need and brokenness. He wants us to trust Him to make even our groans and cries for help into fragrant offerings.

June 22, 2020 0

Broken Prayers

In “Pursuing Prayer”, I want to explore ways to develop my prayers; to become “better” at praying– more confident, more Christlike. But along the way, I have found that “better” doesn’t always mean what I think it ought to mean. Sometimes, becoming “better” requires becoming broken.

food healthy yellow broken — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I don’t like being broken. I don’t want to be shattered, ruined, like a broken vase. I don’t want to pray like a broken record– sending up the same failures, the same weaknesses, the same painful memories. I don’t want to be pinched, and cracked, and mangled. I don’t want to be stretched and molded and squeezed. I want to have comforting chats with God, not drawn-out confessions, or rebukes, or unanswered questions.

broken clay close up crack — Photo by Martins Krastins on Pexels.com

It is tempting to avoid brokenness–cover it up, pretend, deny, ignore its existence. I don’t want to bring God my questions, my fears, my hurts. I don’t want to open up the dark places of my soul. I want to wear a smile and make small talk with God–“How are you today?” “Just lovely, Father, and how are you?” “Fine weather we’re having.” “Yes, thank you for the breezes yesterday. And could I just put in a plug for my neighbor’s gall bladder surgery? I told her I would pray for her, so could you just give her a speedy healing? That’d be great. Well, gotta run. Talk to you soon…Oh, and I’m sorry for the way I blew up at the kids the other day. I don’t know WHAT got into me. You know I’m just not that way, right? So I’m just asking for grace to kinda cover that up and make it ok again. Thanks.”

blur broken ceramic clay — Photo by Fancycrave.com on Pexels.com

God is not fooled. God is not impressed or amused at our shallow righteousness. He’s not impressed or overcome by our brokenness, either. But He wants it, anyway. He wants all of it. Because He wants to build honesty, intimacy, and most of all, restoration. God doesn’t want us to wallow in our failures, any more than He wants us to gloat in our false perfection. He wants to break the bondage they have over us. He doesn’t get tired of hearing our voices, even in guilt or shame, rage or despair…if they are raised to Him. He doesn’t want us to stay shattered and ruined. But He needs us to be redirected, refreshed, rebuilt, rekindled, and renewed.

farm against sky — Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

There are many things that need to be “broken” to become better– we “break” in shoes, we “break” ground to create a new field or prepare for a new building. We “break bread” to eat it and share it with others. We “break” horses in order to prepare them to run or work more effectively. We “break” bad habits. We even “break” the ice in a new friendship. The point is not to stay broken, but to “break through” whatever is keeping us oppressed and held down.

petaled flower drawing on white egg shell — Photo by Netaly Reshef on Pexels.com

When I am feeling broken, and I cry out to God, He doesn’t deny my brokenness; He doesn’t turn away in disgust; He doesn’t stick a hasty bandage on my wounds. God acknowledges my pain, He listens to my questions. He loves me enough to come and stay with me through the worst moments–even when others have gone; even when I deny His presence and turn my face to the wall–and He begins the process of turning even those scars and cracks and tears into treasures.

Brokenness is inevitable in our fallen and broken world– God is not out to break us; people and time, circumstances, and even our own good intentions will cause us to fall and fail–am I willing to uncover my brokenness and need, and allow God to reshape my shattered dreams?

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August 20, 2018 0

Tag: brokenness