Why I Don’t Pray

Of course, I DO pray. I pray a lot. I write a blog about prayer. But there are times when I find it hard to pray; times when my prayers seem feeble or awkward; times when I just don’t pray. So how does this happen, and why?

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

Well, there are many reasons why our prayer life can go through a dry season:

  • “I’m just too busy.” Sometimes, I let busyness and distractions keep me from spending quality time in prayer. I like to pray first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. But I’m not naturally a morning person, and sometimes, the night seems to get away from me. And my prayer life can suffer.
  • “I’d rather worry about it.” This may sound like a strange statement, but sometimes, praying about a situation seems like I’m giving up “agency” over the problem. Trusting God and letting go are easier said than done. Worrying about a problem, imagining all the things I “should” be doing, or that others should be doing to fix it gives me a sense of ownership over my circumstances.
  • “I don’t really want to talk to God about ‘that’.” God already knows my heart and my mind, but I want to hold on to the illusion that God loves me because I’m so good, not acknowledging that God’s love is His gift, not my reward. God wants to hear the ugly parts of my life. Yes, I stand justified by the work of Christ on the cross. I don’t have to wallow in my mistakes or beat myself up over all the ways I “fall short of the Glory of God”. But the more I try to pretend I am someone I’m not, the harder it is to remember why God loves me– He loves me because He IS Love!
  • “God isn’t interested in this little thing.” OR “God is tired of hearing about this chronic problem.” I can stop praying about something because I expect God to respond like a person– maybe even like me. I get tired of listening to the same things over and over. I get tired of wrestling with the same issues. I want to come to God with a problem and have it solved– quickly, easily, and permanently. But God’s ways are not my ways. And God wants me to trust Him, regardless of the situation.
  • “I’m not so sure about God right now. I feel let down, abandoned, or unheard.” Doubts and emotions can be so strong– if we let them take over, we will isolate, even from God. Praying during such times can even feel like hypocrisy.

There are many reasons and excuses that can cause us not to pray. I know, because I have fallen victim to them. But ultimately, they boil down to one thing– a choice.

Choosing to pray can be difficult. It involves discipline, faith, humility, and a burning desire to spend time with our Heavenly Father– even when our emotions and circumstances get in the way. It is helpful to remember why I DO pray:

  • God wants to hear from me. I may not always FEEL this, but the Bible is clear about it– God WANTS a relationship with me, with you, with each one of His children.
  • God knows the human heart. He knows our weaknesses, and He knows our hurts and how we have hurt others. And He will not turn His back on those who seek Him. There is nothing I can say to Him in prayer that will cause Him to withhold His love, His forgiveness, and His mercy. He is in the business of redemption!
  • God’s ways are not my ways. If I feel that God is distant because I don’t see Him clearly, or hear Him directly, that doesn’t mean He is not there. Often, I don’t want to rely on Faith– I want proof of God’s favor; I want proof of God’s protection; I want to be able to “prove” God to others, and to justify myself. Prayer in the midst of doubt and pain is the very act of dying to that need and talking to God “anyway.”

There are still times when I don’t pray as often or as earnestly as I feel I should. But, like anything else worth pursuing, it’s worth the journey and the occasional struggle. It doesn’t get “easy”– but it does get easier, and richer, and more fulfilling.

If you haven’t been praying lately, or if prayer has become dry– DON’T GIVE UP. Don’t beat yourself up. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep on in the struggle. And if prayer has been wonderful and refreshing lately, WONDERFUL! But don’t trust in the feeling of powerful prayer– trust in the One to whom you are praying! He alone makes the pursuit worth it all.

Epiphany!

I’m late writing this post today. The new year is unfolding faster than I had planned, and I come to this day unprepared.

But that’s kind of the idea behind Epiphany. We focus so much on preparation during the Advent and Christmas season that the season which follows can be lost in the shuffle of “getting back to normal.” Even at the historical birth of Christ, there was a real focus on everyone “getting back to normal” after the hustle and bustle of the census and the travel-weariness it generated. Very few people were focused on “Christmas” because Jesus was still considered one small child in a land of thousands of others. There were no Christmas traditions, no trees to un-decorate, no gift wrapping to put away for next year, no leftover cookies to finish eating. And then, twelve days after the glorious events of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day we celebrate Epiphany.

Also known as Kings’ Day, or Twelfth Night, this is the date we celebrate the arrival of the Magi (Kings or Wise Men) who traveled to Bethlehem to see the newborn King of the Jews. They did not arrive at the same time as the shepherds, and the account in Matthew has them visiting Mary, Joseph, and the Baby in a house. We must assume that Joseph found better accommodations for his family as the rush of census-taking waned, and yet he wanted somewhere safe to stay while the baby was still so small. The Magi came unannounced, unexpected, and “late” in the story.

The word “Epiphany” means a revelation or manifestation of something supernatural. The shepherds had gone through an epiphany when the angels appeared to them in the fields and told them to go to the manger on Christmas Eve. But the Magi, who had been following the star for months, finally had their Epiphany upon seeing the young child several days or even weeks after His birth. We don’t know that it was actually on the twelfth day after Jesus’ birth, but at some point, the Magi arrived at their destination and saw God in the Flesh! And their lives would never “get back to normal!” And their visit was a revelation to Mary and Joseph as well. The Kings brought expensive gifts of Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh. They also brought the revelation they had received about the threat of Herod and the need to leave Bethlehem. If Mary and Joseph thought the worst was over, they were shocked into action by the warning of the Magi.

And yet, we celebrate this moment in time, this further revelation that a tiny baby was going to change everything. This knowledge that the Wise Men of Old held, and we can hold today– an encounter with Jesus is a revelation of the supernatural–this baby is GOD in the FLESH, GOD with US, GOD living AMONG us, GOD dying FOR us, GOD who will RETURN to REIGN over us. Nothing will ever be “normal” after such an encounter!

And I hope that can be said for all who read this– that we have encountered the Messiah; the Holy Son of God and Son of Man–and we have been forever changed! There is no end to the season of wonder and delight; there is no need for bright lights and tinsel-topped greenery, and no need to put away the joyful trappings of what His arrival really means.

Epiphany should “sneak up” on us– any day, anywhere–it should amaze us and surprise us with Holy wonder as we encounter the reality of “Emmanuel–God with Us!” And it should cause us to respond with prayers. Not only joyful prayers and prayers of thanksgiving, but prayers in our weariness, prayers in our anticipation of days to come and trials to face. Just like the Wise Men, we may have a long and even difficult journey in 2025. But at the end of it we will encounter God– not as a sweet baby in the manger but as our Lord, as well as our constant companion, our champion, and our heart’s desire!

But Did I Pray?

I saw you at the store today.
I saw your stressed-out look
And your nervous glances.
I nodded and said, “Hello.”
I didn’t ask about your family–
Your husband’s job search,
Your child’s illness…
I felt so bad for you.

But did I Pray?

She came into my shop yesterday.
She was slurring her words a little
As she tried to focus.
She didn’t meet my eyes.
I was polite to her.
I felt guilty because I was a bit
Relieved when she left.
I wondered if she would be ok.

But did I Pray?

I worked into the night making pies
For the church bake sale.
Peach, cherry, pecan–
Perfect crusts for each one.
I gave my best effort.

But did I Pray?

I got up and wrote my blog for the day.
I spoke of prayer and the need to cry out,
To share my heart in prayer.
I quoted scripture, shared personal anecdotes
And offered suggestions about how to
Start and end the day–

But did I Pray?

Lord, forgive me for the times
I’ve failed to come to You–
In my pride, or in my need,
In my confusion or awkwardness.
In my sorrow, or in my joy.
Help me to seek You FIRST
So I don’t have to think back and ask

Did I Pray?

I Don’t Care What You Know..

There is a saying: “I don’t care what you know, until I know that you care.” I went to the bank yesterday, and there was a line. There were only two tellers available (other bank workers were dealing with larger issues in their offices, so there was no back-up, either). Both drive-thru windows had lines, as well. This is a small bank, but a recent closure of a nearby branch means that it is now busier than before, with the same amount of staffing.

The woman ahead of me in line was impatient and angry. She kept repeating the obvious– “They need more tellers! There aren’t enough tellers!” She was rude and demanding, and when she finally got to the front, and a teller (harassed and overworked) patiently and politely asked how she could help, the customer repeated, “You need more tellers here!” The teller explained that corporate policy allows only so many workers per shift, and they were all busy. It was the first of the month– one of their busiest days for cashing checks and dealing with monthly payments. The customer, somewhat abashed, apologized for her rudeness.

The customer “knew” that she would have been served faster if there were more tellers at the front. She knew how SHE would like to have the bank policy play out in her favor. But she didn’t really know the whole story. Her snap judgment wasn’t based on complete knowledge, but on emotion and assumption.

Earlier this week, I was praying about a woman I know slightly. I had heard that she was in a bad housing situation. Her house needed major repairs, and she could not afford them. I prayed that God would act, providing her with “better living conditions.” I assumed that God might provide for her to get a new roof or water heater, or pay down some of her bills. The next day, I heard that her house burned down!

What should I make of God’s response to my prayer? Did He not hear me? Doesn’t God care? Is He laughing at this woman’s misfortune? Is He laughing at my feeble and vague prayer request? Someone reading just the details I have provided (my prayer, and the incident of the fire) might decide they “know” that God is malicious or that He simply doesn’t exist or answer prayer. But are they correct in that conclusion?

NO! God cares. He cares deeply. I was moved out of concern to pray for a woman I barely know. Many others have been praying for her for several weeks, as well as offering her counsel and help in trying to find alternative housing or financial assistance. I don’t know the true extent of her needs– not just housing, but her spiritual, emotional, and other physical needs. God does! We tend to put our hope and trust in our circumstances– even desperate ones– and our ability to control, manipulate, or just survive them. This house had been a burden for a long time, yet the woman steadfastly endured high bills, bad roofing, and poor conditions.

God IS answering my prayer– and the prayers of many others– as help is pouring in for this woman. She was uninjured in the fire, and she has a temporary place to stay. Furthermore, she has people helping her plan ahead for permanent housing, financial needs she will have in the next few weeks and months, and making sure she does not have to face this tragedy alone.

Sometimes, God’s blessings are wrapped in sorrows. Sometimes, we must endure waiting, hardship, and even loss in order to experience growth and peace. Sometimes, we have to deal with impatient customers, long lines, or personal tragedy. God KNOWS. He doesn’t just know our present circumstances and pain. He knows the final outcome, and all that He wants to accomplish THROUGH our present circumstances. And God CARES. He cared about the angry customer in front of me at the bank. He cared about the overworked teller waiting on us. He cared about the woman who lost her house. He cares about each one– no matter what circumstances may suggest. He does not leave us alone in our trials– even when it may feel like He has abandoned us. There are people somewhere in the world praying for you right now. They don’t know what will happen to you today or tomorrow, but they know that God is sovereign. And the Holy Spirit prompts them to pray, even when they don’t know, for God to bless you, protect you, and watch over you.

Two things I have taken away from my experiences the other day: First– God is ALWAYS Trustworthy! I said a quick prayer for the harassed teller and her customer as I waited in line (it’s not like I didn’t have any time to pray!) And sure enough, as she waited on the woman and then on me, the lines at the drive thru windows melted away. She was able to take time to explain her situation to the customer ahead of me, and she was able to take her time waiting on us both. She kept her temper in check and managed to smile through the transactions! And her calm response helped the customer realize her rudeness and apologize. I don’t think that was just coincidence. And I don’t think it was coincidence that several people have been praying for weeks about the other woman’s housing situation. The fire wasn’t an answer to our prayers– our prayers were preparing for an answer to the fire!

The second reminder– Pray without ceasing (1Thessalonians 5:17). While my experience at the bank called for immediate prayer and found an immediate response, my other prayers have been going on for weeks and months. Nothing seemed to be happening. Yet God was preparing for an event I had no way of foreseeing. We want quick answers to prayer. We want easy answers to our prayers. But God’s ways are not our ways. His ways are mysterious to us, but they are for the best, not just the most convenient.

When we pray, God doesn’t care what we KNOW (or think we know). And He doesn’t always give us the knowledge we’re looking for. But He KNOWS! And He CARES! He honors the prayers we lift up because we know Him, and because we care about others.

I’m Too Busy!

Father, I’m too busy today.
I have filled my life with too many urgencies
And obligations.
I can’t take the time to quiet my soul
And just meditate on You.

I have a checkup appointment with the doctor this morning.
(Thank you for my health and wellness, and
Give the doctor insight and wisdom to see
What I need to do to stay healthy.)

And then, I have a busy day at work,
To make up for the time off…
(Thank you, Father, for employment!)
(Thank you for time off!)
(Thank you for travel mercies.)

Tonight, I have to catch up on all the housework…
(Thank you for a home, and clothing, and dishes, and furniture…)
(Thank you for family to share it all with!)
And I promised our neighbor I’d check on their cat while they are on vacation.
(Thank you for good neighbors, and the opportunity to serve them.)

Lord, forgive me… I’m just too busy to pray today.
(Father, thank you for a busy life– a life with purpose and activity.
Thank you for your Presence throughout the day!)

Father, thank you for the truth–
I am NOT too busy to give you praise
I am NEVER too busy to turn my thoughts and my heart
to YOU, even on this busy day!

“Stoplight” Praying

Have you ever prayed at a stoplight? I don’t mean the kind of prayer where you ask God to turn the light green “NOW” or ask Him to please keep the yellow light from turning red as you speed through it… Have you ever used the time waiting at the stoplight to pray? Or time spent waiting in line at the bank? Waiting to pick up your kids from school? Waiting at the copier for a batch-print? Waiting for your number to be called at the license bureau?

Time is a commodity– a precious gift. And too often, we lament that there “isn’t enough time” for prayer in our lives. We may lead busy lives, filled with activity. But how much time do we spend waiting for “something else,” or “someone else,” to show up or happen or finish happening?

Instead of growing frustrated in these times of waiting, why not utilize our time by praying? The Apostle Paul urged believers to “16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.? (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Paul and Silas never waited at a stoplight for any of their mission trips, but I’m sure they experienced “down” time in many of their travels. And what better time to pray than when you are stuck on a ship (or a commuter train, bus, taxi, etc.) ?

Of course, I don’t recommend praying with your eyes closed as you drive, but you can still pray. You can pray as you drive, bike, hike, shop, sit, or eat! You can pray from the doctor’s office, or the laundromat– anywhere you have to wait. You can pray silently, or out loud (as long as you’re not interrupting others). You can pray about “small” things or deep concerns. You can pray for 5 seconds or 20 minutes. Just Pray!

Just a couple of tips to help make this a habit:

  • Keep a running prayer list on your phone or device– or on a simple notepad– somewhere handy when you are traveling.
  • Have a daily focus for prayer, so when you are stopped, you already have a topic in mind; one that can be picked up as a thread throughout the day. (For more help with this, see my page on “Prayer Points.”) For example, on Mondays, I pray for family and friends; if I’m stuck in traffic, I can pray for one (or two) of them. If I’m waiting longer, I can pray for a whole family! If I’ve already prayed in the morning for the whole family, I can think about friends with whom I’ve lost touch!
  • Use your “stoplight” moments for praise– think of one to three things for which you are thankful; or “pray” a short chorus or a verse you have memorized.
  • Practice 1 Thessalonians 5:18, and thank God for your current circumstances. Are you at the dentist, waiting to get your tooth filled? Thank God you have teeth, and the means to keep them healthy! Are you picking up your daughter from softball practice? Thank God for her ability and interest in sports!

You might be amazed at how many opportunities God gives throughout each day to spend time with Him in prayer– and how quickly all that time “flies” as you are “just waiting” around!

Prayer in the Cyber Age

I attend a weekly prayer meeting at our church. A small group of us meets one morning a week to share prayer concerns, pray for our pastors and church workers, missionaries, community members in need, etc. It usually lasts just about an hour. On a “good day,” we have about seven people.

I grew up in a small rural area, and our little country church had a weekly Wednesday evening prayer service. On a “slow night,” we might have seven people. Sometimes, we had thirty or more (nearly half the church congregation)! They lasted about an hour and a half. When I was in college, we had groups that met once a week for prayer. It wasn’t always the same group, but it met at the same time, and, again, we sometimes had as many as thirty in attendance– for prayer. Often, we met in a dorm room, so it was cramped, and many of us were sitting or kneeling on the floor. Once, we had a fire drill, and my feet had “fallen asleep” and I had to be helped as we walked to the exit!

I don’t say this to disparage our current small group, but to point out some of the differences between life in the 1970s, 1980s and today. My current church has activities every Wednesday evening, and much larger attendance than the little country church ever attained. And prayer is still a small part of the Wednesday evening programming. Prayer is encouraged in small groups, individually, and we pray during service. But sustained time set aside for prayer– what the old hymn refers to as “Sweet Hour of Prayer”–in a group setting is becoming more of a rarity.

There are many reasons for it– some good, some not so good.

On the “good” side, it must be noted that corporate prayer today has expanded far beyond the traditional in-person prayer meeting. Prayer can be skyped, group-chatted, zoomed, and conference-called. Prayer can be “hosted” in one location, with satellite groups around the world praying in real time together. In such ways, thousands, and even millions of people can be joined in prayer. This is an amazing development!

And, along with such developments, prayer has become far more global, and far more immediate. I can receive a text or e-mail notifying me of a prayer request from nearly anywhere in the world, and know that I am joining with a host of other Christians when I stop and take a few moments to pray right then.

So what’s the “downside” of cyber prayer?

Speaking as one who has lived the experience of meeting with the same people at a dedicated time over many years specifically to pray, I have observed the following benefits:

In-person prayer meetings offer a more intimate time of fellowship, compassion, and service. I’m not just seeing other people on a screen, reading a text message, or even filling an auditorium seat as part of a huge “movement”– I’m sitting in a circle, breathing the same air, hearing the same hum of the furnace or fluorescent lights, the sound of others breathing, sighing, or even crying quietly around me. Sometimes, I’m holding another person’s hand, or giving them a hug. I am not just among fellow believers, I’m with family. We get to know one another in a deeper way. I know their families, their personal struggles and victories. I learn the rhythm of their prayers, and the issues closest to their hearts– and they know mine! And that can be a scary thing at first– building the kind of trust that intimate fellowship demands. But it pays off a thousand-fold!

In-person prayer meetings are also focused in a different way. Cyber prayer usually focuses on a specific need– sometimes an immediate, or even temporary issue. In-person prayer focuses on the long term discipline of praying. I have prayed with groups over years for lost relatives or unresolved health issues. And while that may seem depressing to read about, in practice it teaches patience, and deepens faith. As a group, we see God’s answers develop according to HIS timing and HIS plan. Sometimes, we see issues resolved quickly; other times, we see how God strengthens us in our trials; and still other times we see God do surprising and miraculous things just as we’ve almost given up hope. And there are some answers we may never “see.” But, primarily, we are not praying for an outcome– we are praying as a pursuit of Christian living; developing a life of prayer, faith, and obedience. We spend much of our time in prayer lifting up requests, but we also spend much of our time in praise, worship, adoration, confession, and thanksgiving– because prayer is a holistic pursuit.

Which brings me to another benefit, one that may not seem obvious at first. Meeting consistently and weekly for prayer is a habit. It builds a character of faithfulness and true compassion like very little else I’ve encountered. God can “show up” wherever two or three are gathered (see Matthew 18:20), and because God is beyond time and space, He can be present in a church meeting room, in cyberspace, or in outer space! But we are temporal. We have to learn patience, hope, and faithfulness. We learn to be trustworthy of the feelings and confidences of others by sharing our hearts. We learn to serve by the practice of serving those around us over an extended period of time. We learn patience by waiting on the Lord, stopping our busy, deadline-driven, goal-oriented lifestyle to make time for the development of our faith.

Finally, in a post-COVID society, sustained, regular, corporate prayer is also sustained, regular, corporate fellowship. We live in an increasingly isolated society. With more people on the earth than ever before, we are more lonely, depressed, anxious, and self-absorbed than ever before. Even in Church! Many people attend service regularly, but still feel unconnected and uninvolved. And others get “involved” in every activity, often burning themselves out trying to “outdo” themselves (or others). Activities that promise fellowship can sometimes fall “flat” in the face of social expectations. We attend, hoping to “get something” out of an experience. We want to be entertained, challenged, encouraged, uplifted, etc. But often, our expectations are not met. We don’t feel included, or we feel overwhelmed. We imagine we are being compared to others (or we do the comparing!), and feel that we fall short. We don’t know enough, do enough, are not “enough.” And we give up. We give up on the church, on other Christians, on God.

Committing to attend a weekly prayer meeting pulls us “out of ourselves.” We learn to pray for the needs of others. We learn to share our own needs and allow others to pray for us. We learn to be transparent and authentic. We learn to forgive.

Prayer is amazing– in any form. Communicating with the God of the Universe is an unspeakably miraculous opportunity, made possible BY God, THROUGH God, for OUR benefit. Prayer in the cyber age is diverse, global, immediate, and effective. But let’s consider the blessing of old-fashioned Prayer Meetings, and not forsake the practice of meeting together (see Hebrews 10:25) , in person, with no other goal than to spend a sweet hour in prayer!

Fixing the Snarls

A few years ago, I got really ambitious and decided I would take up crocheting. My grandmother taught me the basics many years ago, and I thought I would be able to pick it back up and make delightful scarves and mittens and maybe even afghans… Except, when I started a scarf, I ended up with a nice start attached to a horribly snarled up ball of yarn. No problem. I would simply work at the snarl until it melted away, and continue with my scarf. Except it didn’t melt away. I was able to “move” the snarl a foot or so down from where it was, but I couldn’t work it all the way out.

I struggled with that snarl far longer than I should have, and eventually gave up the project and moved on to making candles (another story for another time). But I learned a painful lesson. I would love to say that I prayed about the snarl and God unraveled it for me, but that didn’t happen. I prayed– yes; but God allowed me to continue in my stubbornness and self-confidence to do battle with a few yards of green yarn for days, when I could have been doing more productive things.

I have a great need to try to “fix” things– I think most of us do at some level. We live in a broken world, and we know that there are things that are “snarled” all around us–relationships, situations, circumstances–that need fixing. And God has given us opportunities to do good works that can make the world around us better. But it is not our job to “fix” the brokenness in the world. Only God can really “fix” it–even though He may give us work to do along the way.

And that brings me back to prayer. No, God didn’t “fix” the snarl in my yarn. And He didn’t “fix” my stubborn attitude or my willingness to finish the project another way or ask for help from someone else. God isn’t interested in making our lives (or our projects) easier for us by removing our problems. And God isn’t impressed by our stubborn efforts to “fix” the situations in our lives. God’s ways are not our ways (see Isaiah 55:8-9; and check out https://blackaby.org/gods-ways-are-not-our-ways/.

So many times, we think of prayer as a last resort, as a crutch to fall back on when our efforts seem to be failing, or when we think a situation is “too big” for us to handle on our own. Even in the things of Christ, we tend to plan first, and pray later. Prayer becomes our Plan B. But what if, in the grand scale, prayer was always our Plan A? What if we started the morning, not looking at our planners and calendars, but listening for God’s direction? Even if it meant scrapping our own plans and leaving the “snarls” to God? What if, as our churches planned for programming and outreach, we resolved to do nothing until we had prayed for a month about our goals for the coming year? What if our churches had more people coming to prayer meetings than coming to Family Game Nights or Teen Overnight Parties? In my own life, what if I spent less time writing in my prayer journal than actually asking God to inhabit my prayers?

In the book of 1 Samuel, King Saul undertook a mission for God– God had chosen him to be King over all Israel, and to lead the nation against the wicked peoples in their midst. Saul led his warriors in battle, and even had success, but God rejected Saul because of his disobedience. Saul wanted victory to confirm his status as a warrior and a king. He listened to God’s instructions– superficially. He even insisted that he had followed God’s instructions– after all, he defeated the enemy! But he didn’t do it God’s way or for God’s glory. God gave him victory in many battles, but Saul was impatient, imprudent, and impudent. Saul ended his reign in shameful defeat because he wanted to “fix the snarls”– his way.

I’m not saying that my prayer blog and prayer journal are wrong, or that churches shouldn’t do programming– not at all. But it is something to think about, before the next yarn snarl comes along… Am I busy trying to “fix” a situation that I can’t (or shouldn’t) fix, when I should be watching for God’s next assignment? Am I trying to win a battle to prove myself worthy, or am I letting God set the terms and take the Glory that is rightfully His? Am I busy asking God to unsnarl yarn, when He wants to move mountains?

I Woke Up: An Imaginary Prayer

I woke up this morning.
Thank You! I’m alive! You have given me life and sustained my life another day!

I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling.
Thank you, Lord, for eyes to see! Thank you for shelter, and a roof over my head!

I heard the traffic noises and rain falling outside my window.
Thank you for ears to hear! Thank you for protection from the elements!

I tuned over and burrowed under the blankets for a moment, before stretching and getting up.
Thank you for a bed and blankets! Thank you for mobility to stretch and rise from my bed!

I went to the bathroom.
Thank you, Lord, for clean, running water. Thank you for indoor plumbing and toilets!

I ate breakfast– toast, juice, and a scrambled egg.
Thank you for food. For a toaster, refrigerator, stove, pans, and fresh eggs.

I took my morning medicine.
Thank you for my health– the ability to treat my diabetes and live a productive life!

I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and got dressed.
Thank you for hot water! Thank you for healthy teeth and skin! Thank you for clean clothes!

I checked my e-mail and text messages.
Thank you for the ability to communicate with friends and family, both near and far!

I got in the car, and drove to work.
Thank you for the ability to travel! Thank you for a job!

Just another hectic morning…Nothing special.

I left without saying my morning prayer or reading my Bible. I guess I was just too busy today…

Hidden Among the “Baggage”

I am always drawn by the stories in the Bible. Stories of ordinary and extraordinary people used by God– sometimes in spite of themselves–to rescue others, to teach others, to serve as examples, and to show how God wants to interact (or discipline) those He loves.

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One such person was a man named Saul, son of Kish. Of all the young men of Israel, God chose Saul to be their first king. This was a mixed blessing for the nation. In asking for a human king, they were saying that the did not want to be “ruled” by God or His prophets. God warned Israel through the prophet Samuel that they might come to regret having a human king. They were rejecting the pattern established by God under Moses, and asking for a system of leadership that matched the surrounding nations. This would make it easier to make treaties, do business, and interact with neighboring countries, but it would also bring some of the same problems (succession, power struggles, greed, etc.) that plagued all the other monarchies and empires around them. The choice of Saul reveals not only God’s character, but the character of Israel. God chose a man from one of the least of the families of the least of the tribes of Israel. Saul’s father, Kish, was a man of some power and wealth, but his family line was one of younger sons of younger sons. God often chooses the “least” among us to lead. He is not a respecter of rank or birth, wealth or experience. However, God also chose Saul as a man who “looked” the part. Saul was “head and shoulders” taller than others. He was good-looking and well-educated. Wasn’t this exactly was Israel wanted in a king?

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On the day Samuel called a great assembly to publicly anoint the new king, lots were cast to show God’s choice. Among the 12 tribes of Israel, the tribe of Benjamin was chosen– the youngest of the sons of Jacob, and the smallest of the tribes. A lesser family among the tribe was then selected. Finally, the choice was narrowed down to Saul, son of Kish. But Saul could not be found! A search ensued, and he was eventually found– hiding among the baggage! The tallest man in the kingdom– the one who already had been confirmed as God’s choice– tried to hide from his own coronation! And it was God who revealed Saul’s hiding place and forced him to face his exaltation!

The ongoing story of Saul’s reign as king is filled with both triumph and tragedy. Time and again, Saul tries to “hide” behind excuses. He fails to obey God’s command, but blames his weakness on others. God takes away His favor, and His spirit leaves Saul, who descends into paranoia, anger, and madness.

But today, I want to look at the idea that Saul thought he could hide “among the baggage.” (1 Samuel 10:22) Other translations say he was “among the stuff” or “among the supplies.” Saul did not run away from the assembly altogether; he did not reject his role. Yet he tried to hide from the gravity and responsibility of kingship. In many ways, this shows good qualities of humility and an understanding of his own limitations. Saul’s problem wasn’t that he thought he was “born to be king.” Saul wasn’t born to be king– it was an honor thrust upon him. Saul’s problem was that he wasn’t prepared to let God rule through him. Saul would be the titular King of Israel. But who would be the King over Saul’s own life and heart? Saul, like the nation he ruled, ended up rejecting God’s rule. He tried to follow the letter of the law, and the traditions of his people, but he did not always choose to follow the God who had created them, nor did he humble himself to accept God’s correction.

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We may not be chosen for a position of leadership. But what responsibilities are we hiding from today? Are we surrounding ourselves with baggage? Do we hide in the busyness of our hobbies or our job? Do we cover ourselves with “obligations” that leave us drained to no real purpose? How many hours do we spend hiding in chit-chat, or watching television, or shopping, or daydreaming? How many times are we volunteering to work with strangers in order to avoid spending time with difficult relatives or neighbors? How often do we offer up the sacrifice of generic worship instead of the sacrifice of a teachable spirit?

Saul had many gifts, which he used to strengthen his nation and expand its territory. He had the opportunity to do even more great things for God and for Israel. But he is mostly remembered for his failures– his defiance of Samuel’s orders and excuses about disobedience; his ongoing murderous pursuit of his anointed successor, David; his consultation in the dead of night with the witch of Endor; his ignoble death in battle… We too, have opportunities to do great things with God’s help and in His power. We cannot hide forever among the “stuff” of life. God will reveal our hiding places– to others, even if we don’t acknowledge them!

Today, I pray that I will come out from behind the baggage of my everyday activities, and be available for God’s good purposes!

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Please see these other links for more commentary:
https://jentezenfranklin.org/daily-devotions/what-are-you-hiding-behind#:~:text=%E2%80%9CHe%20is%20hiding%20among%20the%20baggage.%E2%80%9D%201Sa%2010%3A22,tackling%20the%20job%20God%20appointed%20you%20to%20do.
https://www.thekingdomcollective.com/spurgeon/sermon/3322/

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