Free to Forgive

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” (Matthew 6:12)

Imagine being a prisoner and being told that you were free to leave! Now imagine someone refusing to leave their prison cell, and choosing to stay locked up! Why would anyone do such a thing? And yet, there are stories of prisoners who have been freed– some of them found innocent of the crimes for which they were being held–who cannot seem to adjust to freedom.

For some, the issue is legal. Even though they have been exonerated, or have served out their sentence, they still face legal consequences–even if their conviction was overturned, or their sentence fulfilled, they still wear the tag of “convicted felon.” Their record, even if legally overturned, still hangs over their head when they apply for jobs, try to register to vote, or attempt to establish credit. For most, however, the issue is psychological. They still wear the imaginary label, “guilty.” “Not fit for freedom.” “Incorrigible.” And often, society does nothing to remove those labels, but rather reinforces the idea that once found guilty, a person can never redeem their life or legacy.

As Christians, we have been given a full pardon for our sins– regardless of whether we have spent time in a physical prison or not. We are free! But we can continue to live as though we are in prison– and worse, we can continue to put ourselves in a prison of unforgiveness toward others.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) God does not keep us in a prison of guilt and shame. He is faithful to forgive us, redeem us, and renew our mind and spirit. But part of that cleansing involves letting go of our “right” to hold grudges and cling to old hurts and bitterness toward others. God is faithful to forgive US; He is also faithful to act with justice on our behalf. In forgiving others, we are not denying the justice we deserve. And in forgiving us, God does not deny justice to those whom we have hurt!

God wants to give us true freedom– freedom from guilt and freedom from the burden of injustice. HIS shoulders are big enough to offer both– perfect freedom, and perfect justice. We are allowed to be free of both burdens when we trust God to take care of it all. And we are allowed to walk out of the prison of guilt, shame, bitterness, anger, vengeance, pride, self-righteousness, and self-loathing.

Let’s face it– we have all sinned. All of us have said or done things that have hurt others. We may not know the extent of the damage our words and actions have done, just as others may not be aware of how they have hurt us. And “hurting” people often hurt others in reaction. Jesus paid the price for our sins when He offered Himself on Calvary. His sacrifice stops the cycle of “unavenged” hurt.

Sin still continues to hurt us. Forgiveness doesn’t seek to pretend that what happened never happened, or that it didn’t matter, or that our hurt isn’t real and tragic. But forgiveness allows us to walk out of the prison of living with the label “victim” or “convict” that Sin slaps on our forehead or in our heart. It allows us to breathe the free air of God’s grace and the hope of a joyful, productive, courageous future!

Sacrificial Prayer

I call this blog “Pursuing Prayer.” I believe prayer is a pursuit; a discipline that one can learn from, grow into, and practice faithfully in life. But prayer is also a sacrifice. It involves giving of time, space, and honest reflection.

Sometimes, prayer is a willing and joyful sacrifice. I want to come and spend time with My Father in praise and worship, adoration, and even asking for His guidance and wisdom. But sometimes, the sacrifice is hard. I may dread coming to God when I know I have been dishonest or unfaithful. Like any relationship, I cherish the easy times, the relaxing times, and the expectations of challenges met and conquered. I don’t look forward to the hard work, the waiting, or the corrections that God may have for me.

One type of sacrifice that doesn’t belong in the prayer of a believer is the Sin sacrifice. As described in the Old Testament books, the sin sacrifice had to be given to cover over the sins of individuals, priests and even the entire nation. The Israelites even had to give a sin offering for unintentional or accidental sins!

Unfortunately, I sometimes make the mistake of thinking that I must make a similar “sin sacrifice” in my prayer life– that I have to rehearse and recount all my past sins before God will hear me or act on my behalf. And that is NOT Biblical. If we are truly trusting in Jesus’ finished work on the cross, we are not obligated to offer token sacrifices as a means of covering over our past. Christ’s blood IS sufficient! (See 1 John 2:2, 2 Corinthians 5:21,1 Peter 2:24, and Romans 5:9 among others)

So when I talk about prayer of confession, I’m not talking about pouring out long laundry lists of sins I committed last week or thirty years ago. God already knows– in fact He knew about them before they happened!–and He has already forgiven me. That doesn’t mean that He wants me to pretend they never happened or that He doesn’t want me to feel the regret or understand the consequences of what I have done. Instead, He wants me to understand and rejoice in His overwhelming Mercy and Grace! My sacrifice, when I confess my sins, is a sacrifice of praise for God’s willingness to offer what I can never earn or deserve or atone for– complete forgiveness and restoration! I am agreeing with God about who I am and what I’ve done, AND about what He has done for me!

There are other times when prayer can be a difficult sacrifice. Sometimes, I am compelled to pray for those who have hurt me, or those whose actions have hurt others. I am commanded to pray for leaders– that may include church leaders who have sinned, or national leaders who have broken their promises or caused great damage. I am commanded to love my enemies, even if they never repent for things they have done.

Once again, I should be reminded of the sufficiency of Christ’s sacrifice for our sins. He didn’t just die for my Sin; He died for the sins that were committed against me. I may still feel the pain and consequences of that Sin for as long as I live on this earth. But I can trust and be confident that God has dealt with it. And that causes me to rejoice, because I can’t turn back time; I can’t undo the bad things that have happened; I can’t create perfect justice to punish my enemy. But I can let go of the burden of trying to make things “as they should be.” God will do it; He has promised! I can stop wallowing in the “what ifs” or the “what-could-have-beens;” the endless “whys” and “why me’s” that take up so much of my time and focus. Instead, I can leave them as a sacrifice on the altar of prayer, pledging my trust in the Almighty to heal and help me forgive as I have been forgiven.

We don’t practice the old animal sacrifices of the Old Testament. And we don’t have to! But sacrifice is more than just bleeding sheep and burning incense. Sacrifice is offering all of who we are to the One who created us, sustains us, forgives us, and gives us abundant life!

“Sheepish” Prayers

“The Lord is my Shepherd…” (Psalm 23: 1)

How often do I recite this favorite Psalm without really thinking about it? In the words of this Psalm, I am loved, cherished, sustained, and led by Him. But am I in reality? Do I submit to His leadership and guidance? When I pray, am I really coming to meet with my Shepherd, or am I trying to meet with God on some other level or in some other relationship?

I’ve been reading through the first few books of the Bible. I’m in Numbers right now, and Moses is leading the Israelites through the wilderness. The spies have just returned from Canaan, and the people have rebelled against God, weeping and accusing God of leading them to the Promised Land only to have them die in battle with the giants of the land.

I read through this and shake my head, but haven’t I done similar things in my walk with God? I want to avoid the wilderness. I want to walk in the green pastures, but I don’t want to travel through the valley of the shadow of death to get there! I look at obstacles and setbacks as though God were sitting far away, arms akimbo, laughing at my struggles; in reality, He is right beside me all the way, waiting to help me overcome each obstacle and gain victory together with Him. I’m looking at the giants, when He wants me to trust Him for the milk and honey He has promised. I still have to face the giants, and the battles ahead– but I don’t have to face them alone. I don’t have to face them in my own strength, my own limited wisdom, or my limited vision.

But here’s what I am learning as I read through this section of the Bible right now:

God IS with me. He doesn’t leave me or give me anything HE can’t handle. But I have to walk through the wilderness. I have to fight battles. I have to face giants. I have to learn to trust for my daily bread– whether it is manna or money to buy bread–daily. I have to listen to His voice; not impose my plans and ask for Him to bless them.

God doesn’t want me wrapped up or caged: He will not take away my freedom to follow (or NOT follow) Him. And when I wander, He may allow me to wander in circles for a while (hopefully not forty years!), but He will still be right there, ready to lead me when He sees that I am ready to move forward.

He will supply all that I really need– water from the rock, bread from Heaven– not because I have the money or resources, I think I’ve earned, but because He IS my provider. He can part the Red Sea; He can destroy Pharaoh’s armies. He can make the earth swallow up those who threaten me and defy Him. I am safe, even in the wilderness, when I stay close to the Shepherd!

He will counsel and correct me. He will offer forgiveness again and again. He will not leave me lost or unable to return to His side. He will be a “Presence” in my life, wherever I go– day or night.

He sees me and He hears me– which is both comforting and fear-inducing. But it is a healthy fear; an awesome and reverent fear; one that keeps me humble. After all, I am a sheep, NOT the Shepherd! I can call out to Him, and He knows where I am (because He is right there, too), and He knows what I need. God saw the Israelites worshipping the Golden Calf even as He was speaking to Moses up on the mountain. God heard Moses as he pleaded for mercy, even in His anger and wrath.

He calls me by name. The Bible, especially the Old Testament, is full of individual names. Not just the ones we study in Sunday School; not just the ones in the children’s stories; but names of the leaders of the various tribes of Israel, and names of the spies, names of craftsmen God had selected to build the Ark and all the items needed for the Tabernacle, and names of those who rebelled. I am not lost in the crowd; I am not forgotten among the many. God knows me intimately– just as He knows you!

Even when my prayers seem like whining, bleating, plaintive “baa-ing”, I know my Shepherd hears. And He delights to hear from me. He delights in leading me through the wilderness and providing for my every need. And His promises sustain me when I don’t know what’s coming next, or I fear what I see on the horizon.

So I will pray today, and tomorrow, and every day, knowing that even my– especially my– “sheepish” prayers are not in vain.

“…Lose All Their Guilty Stains!”

“There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Immanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
Lose all their guilty stains.”
William Cowper

I love old hymns. So often, they express Biblical truths in simple purity, or in soaring poetry, that captures both the imagination and the memory.

Recently, I was listening to a radio broadcast of a sermon about mercy. It was a wonderful sermon, and the pastor talked about the richness and wideness of God’s mercy and lovingkindness in various situations– when we face injustice, pain, loss and grieving, guilt, and even when we are unaware of it throughout our life (Psalm 139:16-17) From the womb to the tomb, we live in the Mercy of God– God extends His Mercy and Grace for as long as we are alive to call out for it, accept it, and receive it. More than that, His Mercy and Lovingkindness endures forever (Psalm 136).

Later that day, I was doing housework– I had dirty dishes to wash and laundry to do. And there were stains! I have plastic dishes that I used to heat up leftovers in the microwave, and some of those leftovers had tomato-based sauce or cinnamon or turmeric. The dishes have a film of red or brown or yellow that didn’t come out, even when I washed and soaked them. A few of the stains will eventually fade away, but some of them will never come out. I also have clothes that are stained. David and I still wear them around the house, but there are paint stains, ink stains, oily stains, and mustard stains that didn’t come out the first time I washed (or the second or third time!)

As humans, we all have stains of one type or another. We try to hide them; we try to scrub them; we try to cover them up. Some of our stains are external and visible– scars or blemishes, imperfections and disabilities, worn or tattered “second-hand” clothes, missing teeth, poor posture, obesity, being “too” short or tall–things that people notice right away. Other stains are deep inside– guilt, shame, fear, anger, hatred, bigotry, envy, arrogance, hopelessness, depression, broken-heartedness, loneliness– we try to hide them by isolating, covering up, pretending that all is well, or denying the extent of our brokenness.

I was touched by the sermon about how God’s Mercy reaches us in all of these circumstances. The Bible is full of examples of God’s Mercy and its transforming power. But the words of this old hymn came to my mind, and a deeper realization swelled as I sang them quietly in my own heart: “And sinners plunged beneath that flood LOSE ALL THEIR GUILTY STAINS!”

I spend time washing and scrubbing at stains– silly mistakes, accidents, upsets– and even if I am successful, I can often point out where the stains were or find the last vestiges of them on an old shirt or a white plastic bowl. But I don’t “LOSE” stains. I don’t have the power to make stains totally disappear– especially stubborn ones like ink and oil. But the stains I worry about most– guilt, pain from my past, worry about how others might judge me– these stains are all in my doubting mind. In God’s Mercy, THEY DON’T EXIST! That doesn’t mean that others WON’T still judge me, or that I won’t still remember old hurts. But God WON’T! Their power is broken. God has removed them as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12-14)

Sin leaves stains in our lives– even if the sin wasn’t ours to begin with. That person who bullied me in third grade– that left a stain. The way I reacted– that probably left a stain, too. When I nearly died as an infant– that wasn’t my sin, or even my parent’ sin. But it left a stain because I was born into a world where we have disease, defects, and disasters. I have Diabetes. Part of that “stain” can be blamed on things I ate, and lifestyle choices I made. Part of that is genetic. There are people who live with abuse, injustice, chronic pain, and lasting heartaches. And God’s Mercy didn’t stop any of that from staining their lives.

But the “fountain…drawn from Immanuel’s veins” is powerful enough, and God’s Mercy is amazing enough to make those stains disappear. In this life, I still have to deal with diabetes, fatigue, misunderstandings, and my own sinful lapses. People still struggle with cancer, poverty, war, and doubt. But the stains won’t follow Christians into eternity. There won’t be any vestiges of uncleanness; there won’t be any memory of the hurts and losses we suffered during this lifetime. Christ’s blood is powerful enough, and His Mercy vast enough to make the effects of sin DISAPPEAR!

Prayer Requests

As someone who pursues prayer passionately, you might suspect that I hear a lot of prayer requests. And I do. And even so, it’s not enough. I always look for more! I admit to trolling on Facebook for prayer requests; following the church newsletter for prayer requests; and even asking friends if they have any requests when we chat. But what about prayer requests that aren’t exactly requests–

“Oh. It’s really nothing. I’m not worried about it or anything…”
“We’re just going through a rough patch. Nothing to be really concerned about…”
“It’s just something I have to deal with..”
“The doctor says it’s a chronic condition, so it’s just something I have to get used to…”
“I know so many other people who are hurting worse than we are…”

Sometimes, prayers are shortened or even missed because we are looking for prayer requests instead of prayer opportunities. Prayer is an opportunity to talk to God about anything that is on MY mind or in MY heart. Often, it comes in the wisp of a stray thought about someone else. Maybe I haven’t heard from them in weeks (or even years!), but suddenly, they are on my mind. Suddenly, I have an opportunity to pray for them. Do I know what is on their heart or mind? Probably not. But God knows! That schoolmate from fifth grade? Pray for them. So what if I only remember their first name– or their maiden name or their childhood nickname–God knows! That former co-worker who was having a rough time with her teenage son ten years ago? Ten years have passed! I know the son is now an adult. I don’t know if the relationship is better or worse now than it was a decade ago. I don’t even know for sure that the co-worker or her son are still alive. But God knows! My neighbor who seems to be doing fine, but I keep thinking about them, and I don’t know why– God knows! Each one is an opportunity to pray– nothing elaborate or specific– just to lovingly lift them up before God’s throne!

And what about the “actual” requests that I hear or see on-line? Sometimes, there are no details or specifics about “what” I am praying for. But it doesn’t matter. Because God already knows. Even more, He knows the end from the beginning, even if it isn’t exactly what is being requested. I can lift up in prayer situations about which I know very little– because God knows. And for those situations that seem dire or impossible– God knows those, too. And I can lift them up with confidence, even when I have no answers and the problems seem overwhelming.

This sounds easy, but it’s not. It forces me to step away from each request, each situation in which I might try to stake my own “claim.” Yes, I want my friend’s cancer to disappear, or my co-worker and her daughter to have a repaired and healthy relationship. But I don’t have the first clue how to make that happen. I don’t have any answers. I don’t know what GOD has planned in those situations. And while I know what sounds or feels good in the moment, I don’t know what is best in the grand scheme of things. But God knows! He doesn’t want me to solve each problem; He doesn’t need me to offer my “best” suggestion of how He should solve it. All He wants is for me to trust HIM to care for each need. In HIS way, in HIS time, and in the fulness of HIS love!

During Jesus’ ministry here on earth, He prayed many times, but His prayers rarely dwelt on details about specific situations. In fact, in teaching His disciples how to pray, He included the phrase, “THY kingdom come, THY Will be done in earth as it is in Heaven.” (Matthew 6:10) And that is a perfect phrase to exercise, whether I have a specific request, or a flash of memory, or a nagging worry about someone or something.

The same is true when it is my turn to request prayer. There are many times I find myself like the people I quoted above– trying to make light of a situation or avoid actually requesting prayer. It may sound humble and self-deprecating, but there is an element of arrogance in saying “I don’t need prayer for …”(whatever situation). We ALL need prayer. We ALL need to live in the assurance that we can “cast all our cares upon Him, for He cares for us” (1 Peter 5:7 paraphrased). And we need to acknowledge that we should share our cares with others as they share their cares with us. And that we need to allow for God to involve others in the way He cares for us. Asking for prayer is a way of allowing others to share our concerns– and share in our joy of receiving answers to prayer! Requesting others to pray for us is not a weakness. We are not being a burden on others when we allow them to pray for us.

That is not to say that I need to publish every problem and concern on Facebook or in the Church Newsletter! Nor should I try to dictate how or when or what others should pray for me. But it does mean that I must be open to sharing the very real struggles I have with trusted friends, especially if they ask how they can pray for me. Even the “chronic” ones; even the “silly” ones. Because I don’t know how God may use that opportunity in THEIR life; nor do I know how God may use their prayers to bless my life.

But GOD knows!

The Saints’ and Angels’ Song

In an earlier post, I wrote about an old hymn, “I Love to Tell the Story.” I called it “Mr. Teeter’s Song” as it was a favorite of one of the men in the church where I spent my childhood.

Today, I want to talk about another great old hymn, “The Love of God…(Is Greater Far).” I love the lyrics of the third verse:

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
and were the skies of parchment made;
were ev’ry stalk on earth a quill,
and ev’ryone a scribe by trade;
to write the love of God above
would drain the ocean dry;
nor could the scroll contain the whole,
though stretched from sky to sky

As Christians, we speak often of the Love of God. We talk about it, we sing about it, we hype it, and we brag about it. But sometimes, it’s good to be still and meditate on it for a bit. God’s Love is greater than even our best imagination can comprehend. God’s Love is more powerful, more enduring, richer, and more wonderful than all the greatest writers and poets can express; than all the mathematicians could ever sum up. It is more beautiful than all the artists together could ever attempt to capture. The human heart cannot hold the full reality of God’s Love! God loves EVERYONE. Everywhere. ALL the Time and FOR all time!

When we pray, we are talking to the ONE who loves us utterly, perfectly, and completely. He knows all or our secret shame, all our unfulfilled longings, and all our deepest hurts. And He LOVES US!

I focused on my favorite verse from this hymn above, but today, I also want to take a closer look at the second verse– the one we often skip over:

When ancient time shall pass away,
and human thrones and kingdoms fall;
when those who here refuse to pray
on rocks and hills and mountains call;
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
all measureless and strong;
grace will resound the whole earth round—
the saints’ and angels’ song.

The Love of God– Frederick M. Lehman

We live in a world that is obsessed with human endeavor and the natural world, without giving much thought to the God who created both humans and the world in which we live. Many people will go out of their way to ignore the spiritual– and others who pervert spirituality– and it results in a cheapening of what Love is really all about. God’s love is not like human love–temporary, imperfect, and often self-centered. God’s love is selfless and pure. And it is this love we are to grow into.

Two hymns. One tells the “story” of Jesus and His Love. Another echoes the “song” of angels and saints– those who live in and trust in the glory of Jesus and His Love.

The Love of God– this is the Good News. Christ is the embodiment of that Love– a love that lived and died for others; a love that embraced sinners, healed the sick, and restored the dead to life. The Love of God– eternal, rich, and perfect! May our prayers, our songs, and our lives reflect the “Saints’ and Angels’ Song” today!

Why I Don’t Pray

Of course, I DO pray. I pray a lot. I write a blog about prayer. But there are times when I find it hard to pray; times when my prayers seem feeble or awkward; times when I just don’t pray. So how does this happen, and why?

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

Well, there are many reasons why our prayer life can go through a dry season:

  • “I’m just too busy.” Sometimes, I let busyness and distractions keep me from spending quality time in prayer. I like to pray first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. But I’m not naturally a morning person, and sometimes, the night seems to get away from me. And my prayer life can suffer.
  • “I’d rather worry about it.” This may sound like a strange statement, but sometimes, praying about a situation seems like I’m giving up “agency” over the problem. Trusting God and letting go are easier said than done. Worrying about a problem, imagining all the things I “should” be doing, or that others should be doing to fix it gives me a sense of ownership over my circumstances.
  • “I don’t really want to talk to God about ‘that’.” God already knows my heart and my mind, but I want to hold on to the illusion that God loves me because I’m so good, not acknowledging that God’s love is His gift, not my reward. God wants to hear the ugly parts of my life. Yes, I stand justified by the work of Christ on the cross. I don’t have to wallow in my mistakes or beat myself up over all the ways I “fall short of the Glory of God”. But the more I try to pretend I am someone I’m not, the harder it is to remember why God loves me– He loves me because He IS Love!
  • “God isn’t interested in this little thing.” OR “God is tired of hearing about this chronic problem.” I can stop praying about something because I expect God to respond like a person– maybe even like me. I get tired of listening to the same things over and over. I get tired of wrestling with the same issues. I want to come to God with a problem and have it solved– quickly, easily, and permanently. But God’s ways are not my ways. And God wants me to trust Him, regardless of the situation.
  • “I’m not so sure about God right now. I feel let down, abandoned, or unheard.” Doubts and emotions can be so strong– if we let them take over, we will isolate, even from God. Praying during such times can even feel like hypocrisy.

There are many reasons and excuses that can cause us not to pray. I know, because I have fallen victim to them. But ultimately, they boil down to one thing– a choice.

Choosing to pray can be difficult. It involves discipline, faith, humility, and a burning desire to spend time with our Heavenly Father– even when our emotions and circumstances get in the way. It is helpful to remember why I DO pray:

  • God wants to hear from me. I may not always FEEL this, but the Bible is clear about it– God WANTS a relationship with me, with you, with each one of His children.
  • God knows the human heart. He knows our weaknesses, and He knows our hurts and how we have hurt others. And He will not turn His back on those who seek Him. There is nothing I can say to Him in prayer that will cause Him to withhold His love, His forgiveness, and His mercy. He is in the business of redemption!
  • God’s ways are not my ways. If I feel that God is distant because I don’t see Him clearly, or hear Him directly, that doesn’t mean He is not there. Often, I don’t want to rely on Faith– I want proof of God’s favor; I want proof of God’s protection; I want to be able to “prove” God to others, and to justify myself. Prayer in the midst of doubt and pain is the very act of dying to that need and talking to God “anyway.”

There are still times when I don’t pray as often or as earnestly as I feel I should. But, like anything else worth pursuing, it’s worth the journey and the occasional struggle. It doesn’t get “easy”– but it does get easier, and richer, and more fulfilling.

If you haven’t been praying lately, or if prayer has become dry– DON’T GIVE UP. Don’t beat yourself up. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep on in the struggle. And if prayer has been wonderful and refreshing lately, WONDERFUL! But don’t trust in the feeling of powerful prayer– trust in the One to whom you are praying! He alone makes the pursuit worth it all.

“Better-than” Prayers

I know a lot of “Prayer Warriors”– people who pray often, and fervently, and are known for their prayer habit. But I often hear a very disturbing statement in relation to such people. The thinking goes that if someone is a “Prayer Warrior” they get results. They have a direct line to Heaven– different and “better” than normal pray-ers. There are people who will hunt down a prayer warrior, believing that this action will be more effective than praying about an issue or problem themselves. Others try to emulate or copy the praying style of “prayer warriors,” thinking that the way someone words their prayers will make a difference in whether or not God will hear them. Still others will refuse to pray in public, because they say their prayers are not good enough. And this should not be!

We have a terrible tendency to compare. We compare our appearance, our social or economic status, our skills and abilities, and even our spirituality. “She’s so close to God!” “He knows the Bible so much better than I do!” And we think this determines whether or not God will listen to and act on our prayers. And Christians who could pray more often, more joyfully, and, yes, more effectively, simply give up on pursuing prayer, because they think others are so much “better” at it.

God is not a respecter of persons. His willingness to listen to our prayers does not depend on how many Bible verses we can quote or how many church services we attend each week, or how eloquently we can pray. God does not play favorites– He does not respond more quickly or more powerfully to some people because they call Him “Heavenly Father” instead of “Almighty God” or because they kneel instead of sitting, or because they are somehow “holier” than their neighbor.

God wants to hear from YOU. And yes, it can be a blessing and a comfort to know that others are praying for you or with you, but we should not measure our prayers against those of others around us. Especially if we allow ourselves to get discouraged in our pursuit of “better” prayer.

That said, there are a few things that can make our prayers “better”:

  • Be sincere– God doesn’t play games. He doesn’t respond to flattery, falsehoods, foolishness, or exaggerations. God already knows what you need, what you’re thinking, and who you are– who you REALLY are. Prayer that tries to cover up your real emotions or thoughts; prayer that tries to make you sound pious, needy, devout, etc., are not fooling anyone but you…
  • Be still–take time to get quiet before God– so that you can listen as well as speak! Meditate on WHO it is you are talking with, instead of just what you want to say.
  • Be submitted– Prayer is not about getting God to “deliver” on your wish list. Don’t just pretend to be pious, but determine that you will accept God’s perfect will and timing. And that you will accept God’s correction when you are having trouble accepting His will!
  • Be faithful–don’t give up. Pursuing Prayer means practicing prayer. You may find it gets easier to pray as you stumble through awkward prayers, instead of trying to be perfect out of the gate. Most “Prayer Warriors” started out the same way. Anyone–ANYONE–can be a prayer warrior!

Such “better” prayers will not impress God. God isn’t about being impressed. He IS about being personal, loving, wise, and sovereign. But such prayers will be “better than” those prayed in pride, or prayed inconsistently, or without fully acknowledging God’s character and authority.

My goal is not to be a “better” pray-er than someone else. I may never be acknowledged by others as a “Prayer Warrior.” But my goal is to be disciplined and trained in the pursuit of Prayer. Every day, we face spiritual warfare– in that sense we are all prayer “warriors.” And I may be a foot soldier in this war, but I want to be the best foot soldier I can be! I want to be “better than” I was yesterday, and even better tomorrow!

Where is God When…?

A priest, a Baptist minister and a rabbit go to a pub for lunch. The hostess meets them at the door with a message. “Today, we are helping a local blood bank. Your lunch is free if you donate a pint of blood.” All three agree to donate blood in exchange for a free lunch. The hostess asks each one in turn for his blood type. The priest says, “I believe my blood type is A negative. The minister says, “It’s been a long time, but I seem to remember that I am AB positive.” Finally, she turns to the rabbit. “I was supposed to be a Rabbi, so I must be a Type O!”

I love puns, and like many puns, the humor in this one comes from a grammatical or spelling error. Something in the story is almost, but not quite, as it should be. It is a good thing to be able to laugh at small mistakes. But what happens when things are terribly wrong? It’s not funny at all. It’s devastating, confusing, and frightening. We want answers. We want the situation “fixed.” We want to find out what went wrong, why it went wrong, and who is responsible.

California is burning as I write this. Thousands of acres destroyed; hundreds of homes and businesses reduced to ashes; thousands of people left homeless. Where is God in these fires? When an innocent child is abducted, raped, mutilated and left for dead, where is God? Where is God amid the unrest in Mozambique, where typhoons and political unrest have caused so much havoc? Where was God when the hurricane and storm surge displaced tens of thousands of people in North Carolina, Tennessee, and Georgia less than six months ago? Where is God in the war-torn regions of the world, where innocent families are being terrorized by bombing raids and invading armies? Where was God when millions were dying of COVID just a few short years ago?

I’d love to say that I have an answer. One that is comfortable, unassailable, logical and easy to understand. But I don’t. The “glib” answer is that God is on His Throne, omnipotent and all-wise. And He is. He is not to “blame” for personal tragedies or for sweeping disasters. Sometimes, God intervenes in miraculous ways to “save” us from certain death, “accidents,” or even attacks. But often, He chooses not to do so. And I have no explanation, no all-encompassing, deeply soothing answer for those who are left suffering.

What I do know is this: God is a redeeming God. He is a God who can and often will turn tragedy into triumph. And even if, in such cases, the triumph is often bitter-sweet. This is a God who created mankind, knowing we would reject His goodness and go our own way. This is a God who took a single faithful man (Abraham) and made him the father of many nations– some of whom are still at war to this very day. This is a God who did not spare His Only Begotten Son, but allowed Him to go through a sham trial, be falsely convicted, and die a painful, publicly humiliating death. And then, Christ arose!

What does that mean for someone whose son or daughter is still dead after five (or 25) years of grieving? For someone who lives every day with the trauma of having been raped or abused as a child. It does not give immediate comfort. It does not take away the sting of injustice, pain, and questioning. But it is the promise of redemption– that just as Christ rose victorious, He will cause the pain and grief of the past to disappear in the Joy and Wonder of Eternity with Him. He WILL bring ultimate and complete justice, and it will be perfectly overwhelmed with mercy, grace, and freedom from the past.

It may seem slow and painful, but it WILL happen. Those who have suffered; they will laugh again. Those who are drowning in the senselessness of their own sorrow will experience healing and have answers to their questions. Those areas of the world where suffering is so great in the present– they will recover. Trees and gardens will grow again. Houses will be rebuilt. And yes, there will still be disasters and devastation in our lifetime, and in the years to come– UNTIL THAT DAY. That day when Christ returns to make all things new. Whatever hurts and griefs we carry now, they will be overtaken by joy and healing. No more fires, no more floods, no more war, no more disease, no more “mistakes.”

I don’t know why God allows us to suffer now. I’ve heard some philosophers try to explain, and they have many “good” reasons:

Suffering often leads to growth and necessary change.
Suffering produces resilience and develops character.
Suffering teaches us that there are consequences to our selfish and sinful actions.
Suffering often brings people closer together and brings out the best in us as we offer help and hope and encouragement.
Suffering teaches us to be compassionate toward others in their suffering and grief.
Suffering contrasts with joy, helping us to appreciate what is truly good in our lives.

These are not bad answers. But they are not complete. They are not “enough.” And I think that’s part of God’s plan. God doesn’t want us to live life on autopilot. He doesn’t give us “easy” answers– just like He doesn’t give us a life without any purpose or challenge. He doesn’t want us to focus on having all the answers. He wants us to learn from each other, depend on one another, and ultimately to trust that He knows best. It’s not an easy lesson to learn. But if we stay in pursuit of Prayer, and closeness to God, it’s a lesson well worth struggling through.

And sometimes, we can learn to laugh at life’s “typos” and other little mistakes as we travel this life.

What God Didn’t Give Me

I’m very grateful for all the many blessings that God has given me– for Salvation, most of all. But God has blessed me with family, health, freedom, and so many other wonderful things. But there are several things God didn’t give me. Some of them are things I wanted (or thought I needed!) Others are things I never even imagined.

God didn’t give me a pony when I was younger. God didn’t give me blonde hair. God didn’t give me the genetics to be 5’9″ tall, athletic, and thin– I never became a ballerina or a model. God didn’t make it possible for me to study in France my junior year of college like I had wanted. God didn’t see fit to make “Mr. Right” fall in love with me in high school or college. God didn’t give me children to raise. God didn’t let my father live long enough to walk me down the aisle when I finally got married. And I never won the lottery (probably because I don’t play!– but still…)

It’s very human to look around and see what others have that we might desire– things that God did not choose to give us; even things that God has taken from us–and feel resentment, envy, and even anger. But we rarely look at those things others have that we would NOT desire. And we rarely look back and see how things we thought we wanted would not have been good for us, or how God removed things from our lives–even good things–for a better purpose. Sometimes, we cannot know or understand such things this side of heaven. But it might be a good practice once in awhile to look back and see what God DIDN’T give us– and thank Him for His wisdom and provision!

God allowed me to get chicken pox as a child– but He didn’t let me get Polio, or Diphtheria, Scarlet Fever or Whooping Cough. God didn’t give me blue eyes like my dad– but He didn’t give me Dad’s color-blindness, either. God prevented me from going on a date with one cute and popular boy who asked me out in high school. And the one in college. And the one I worked with. But God delivered me to my husband a virgin, and free of the guilt and shame of a string of failed relationships. God took my father at age 68. But He healed my father after a heart attack at age 50 (the reason I never got to study in France). We had and “extra” 18 years with Dad, and while Dad was sick most of the last years of his life, we didn’t have to see him suffer years of pain, misery, and helplessness. And about that semester in France? Some of my friends went that year– and they were plagued by injuries, nationwide strikes, and other issues. God knew what I wanted in each case; He also knew what was best for me.

A couple of years ago, I was diagnosed with Diabetes. God did not “give” me Diabetes. (That’s another mistake we often make.) God gives good gifts. (James 1:17) But we live in a fallen and imperfect world. Disease, injustice, pain, and heartache are part of this world. Someday, God will redeem the world and put an end to all of these, but for now, there is no guarantee that God will keep us in perfect health or happiness. So, I’m Diabetic. I’m not grateful because I have the disease, but I am grateful for so many things related to it. I am grateful that I live in a time when treatments are both available and accessible. I am grateful that I was diagnosed, rather than suffering a coma or dying without help. I am grateful that I have access to healthful foods and the ability to exercise– two things necessary to keep the Diabetes under control. I am grateful that I lived for so many years without the disease. I am grateful for a supportive husband and family members who help keep me motivated. And I am grateful that nothing about having Diabetes changes IN ANY WAY God’s love for me, and His plans to give me eternal life in Him!

Are there things, people, or situations in your life that God DIDN’T give you? Healing that was denied, or blessings withheld? Hurtful things that He allowed to happen in your life? That He took away from your life? God doesn’t want us to pretend that all is perfect in our world. He knows the pain of NOT getting what we wanted, and the agony of losing what we did want. But He also knows the joy that we haven’t yet experienced– the joy of renewal; the joy of restoration; and the joy of completion.

God didn’t give me a pony– nor the hard work of caring for it, or the heartbreak of losing it. God didn’t let me date the popular boy– but He gave me a man of gentleness and integrity. God didn’t give me children to raise, but He gave me grown children, and grandchildren to love. God didn’t “give” me the semester in France, but He did give me opportunities to meet people from France. He gave me opportunities to use the French language I studied– in Florida, Texas, and even the Dominican Republic! God didn’t let my father walk me down the aisle at my wedding. But He allowed Dad and David to meet and even know each other– years before we were married. God didn’t give me perfect health here on Earth– but there will be no disease or death in Heaven.

Thank you, God, for all that you have given me– even Diabetes–and for all that you have allowed to shape my life. Help me see You in every detail of my life– the pleasant, the painful, the difficult, and the mysterious– and to praise You in every circumstance. Thank you for today, and for all the plans you have for it, and for me. Thank You for being You!

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