What Would Jesus Pray?

Several years ago, it became incredibly fashionable (literally) to wear t-shirts, necklaces, and especially bracelets with the four letters, WWJD– which stood for “What Would Jesus Do?” This was supposed to serve as a reminder that the wearer was an ambassador of the Kingdom of God, and was supposed to be a follower of Jesus, and thus should act in accordance with what Jesus would do in any given situation. Stuck in traffic–What would Jesus do? Presumably, we would not lose his temper, honk and scream obscenities, or rudely try to cut or push others off the road. Tempted by the scantily clad actors and actresses in a new R-rated movie– What would Jesus do? Presumably, he would not attend R-rated movies filled with sexual situations in the first place, or, finding himself tempted, he would leave the movie.

I think the intention was good in the beginning– even scriptural in a sense. The Children of Israel were commanded, in Deuteronomy 6: 8 to “tie them (God’s commandments, laws, and decrees) as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.” Throughout the Bible, the patriarchs, prophets, Jesus, and the apostles, often spoke of keeping God’s Word in our hearts and on our minds as we go through our daily routines. This short reminder should help us do just that– redirect our thoughts to the One we are to follow. As far as it achieved that goal, it was a good thing.

The problem is that it didn’t work that way for most people. The jewelry or the t-shirt didn’t serve as a reminder to the wearer, but as a symbol to everyone else. “Hey, look at me! I’m wearing a fashionable accessory with a cryptic message that lets you know that my thoughts and actions represent Jesus here on earth!” Ironically, Jesus would have been the last person to wear such an item– not only because he wouldn’t have to ask the question (BEING Jesus, and all), but because his focus was on others–Jesus didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, or his wrist, and he didn’t call attention to his own righteousness. Instead, he spoke to outcasts, and touched lepers. He acted in accordance with God’s wishes, not because he had decided what he thought God would want him to do, but because he knew who God wanted him to become.

One of the worst casualties of the WWJD craze is that many people substituted their own wisdom for a study of God’s word– in other words, they imagined what Jesus would (or might) have done, instead of learning and following what he DID. Of course, Jesus was never stuck in a traffic jam. But he did face demands on his time, and stressful situations. He was never tempted by movies or internet porn, but he was surrounded by a culture that had “religious” “temple” prostitutes, along with sexual immorality not that different from what we see today. The Bible doesn’t give us a picture of Jesus planning and executing a strategy for specific temptations– it DOES give us specific examples of people over a long period of time who failed or triumphed over temptations, big and small, and of people who turned to God for strength to overcome temptation and grace when they had fallen. It also gives us a picture of Jesus living a life that was perfectly pleasing to God– including a life of prayer.

What would Jesus pray? Look at John 17. Look at Luke 11:1-4 or Luke 22: 39-48. Look at Mark 14: 32-42. There are many examples of Jesus’ prayers– prayers that pour out his heart to his Father– in faith, in pain, in grief, and in hope. In fact, it would be appropriate to say in answer to the question, “What would Jesus do?”– Jesus would take it to God in Prayer! Look at the way He taught His disciples to pray:

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
“This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:5-15 NIV)

Jesus did not ask the Father to give His disciples a blueprint of “Holy” activities or attitudes. He asked for fundamentals– that God’s Kingdom would come; that God would meet our daily needs; that God would forgive us as we forgive others; and that God would steer us away from temptations and evil. For everything else, Jesus directed His disciples to DO what He did, not ask what He would do. Reach out to those who are needy and hurting with love and practical help. Forgive. Tell the Truth. Worship God above all else, and go to Him in prayer.

Jesus didn’t come to earth and live his life to make us great, or successful, powerful or popular by the world’s standards. He came to seek and to save those who were lost. He asks us to do the same– not in our own strength or success, but in the overflow of the grace and power he has poured into us. T-shirts and jewelry are nice, but Jesus used his life–his time, his love, his talents, his words and his actions in accordance with God’s will and God’s wise commands to bring people to himself. Then he did what none of us could do– he fulfilled God’s law, becoming the perfect sacrifice for our sins, and conquering Sin and death. What would Jesus do? He DID IT! It is FINISHED! Our part is not to do what only God can do, but to what he has asked of us and trust him to do the rest.

This is also true in our pursuit of prayer. I often get side-tracked in wondering if my prayers match up to what Jesus might have prayed in the same situation– and that shouldn’t be my immediate focus. Prayer is, as I have to keep reminding myself, a pursuit. It is a process and a journey, and an ongoing, deepening conversation with the one who loves me best. And it is not a one-sided conversation– God answers my prayers, not just by meeting immediate needs or changing circumstances. He speaks through his law, through the Psalms and prophets, through the Gospels and the Epistles, and through the godly wisdom of friends and counselors and ministers of his Grace. And in doing so, he teaches me to pray.

May I stop worrying so much about the length or the style or the “worthiness” of my prayers. May I instead listen, and learn, and continue the pursuit.

October 22, 2025 0

“Don’t Mess With Mister In Between”

You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium (is)
Liable to walk upon the scene
“Accentuate the Positive” by Harold Arlen/Johnny Mercer

This popular song came out in 1944, as thousands of soldiers were dying in World War 2, and millions were facing homelessness and starvation in Europe, Asia, and northern Africa. Its syncopated rhythms and upbeat lyrics helped focus minds and hearts on hope in a world torn apart by war, hatred, and despair. Further lyrics refer to biblical characters Jonah and Noah, and their experiences facing “dark” times.

The Bible gives us similar (and more specific) advice. The Apostle Paul wrote from prison to believers in hard-pressed Philippi:

⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ⁸Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:6-8 (NIV)

In other words– Accentuate the Positive and latch on to the affirmative!

To the Ephesian believers, he says:

The Old Way Has to Go (or, Eliminate the Negative):

And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. They’ve refused for so long to deal with God that they’ve lost touch not only with God but with reality itself. They can’t think straight anymore. Feeling no pain, they let themselves go in sexual obsession, addicted to every sort of perversion. But that’s no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you. What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. Did you use to make ends meet by stealing? Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help others who can’t work. Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:17-32 (The Message)

But what does it mean when the song says, “Don’t mess with Mister In Between”? The Bible gives some advice on this as well. The Apostle James has much to say about such a man in the first chapter of his epistle. He talks about being steadfast, not doubting, not double-minded, and not swept up in temptation, blaming others, and justifying his own philosophies:

²²But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. ²³For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. ²⁴For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. ²⁵But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. James 1:22-25 (ESV)

To James, “Mister In Between” is a shadow man, a person without root or discipline, who will listen to the word of truth, but then turn back to the darkness of the world to justify inaction and/or wrong actions. Mister In Between wants to straddle the fence between sin and obedience, revenge and forgiveness, anger and patience, comfort and compassion. But that doesn’t work. Such a person lives in a false reality– one where his/her “truth” changes with each new experience or emotion, each new encounter with pleasure or grief.

Jesus Himself spoke of the dangers of living “In Between”:

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. ²⁴For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. ²⁵What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? ²⁶Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels… ⁶²Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:23-26;62 (NIV)

¹³“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.¹⁴“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:13-16 (NIV)

We may not be in the midst of a World War (though some reading this may be experiencing war, persecution, and suffering), but we are all involved in a great Spiritual Battle. There are negative forces and philosophies warring with God’s Truth– Anger, Despair, Hatred and Vengeance, Pride, Envy, Power, Greed, and many more. We need to keep our thoughts positively turned toward “whatever is true”.. and noble and praiseworthy– we need to keep our thoughts, prayers, and actions in tune with the teachings of Jesus. We also need to “eliminate” the negativity in our lives– doubts, regrets, shame, lust, bitterness, jealousy, and empty adherence to things of this world– we need to turn our back on old ways of thinking and doing (or NOT thinking or doing) and focus on Jesus. And we need to avoid “messing” with Mister In Between– stop compromising, stop trying to straddle the fence between loving others and making them feel comfortable or superior in their sin at the cost of our own soul.

It sounds easy and jaunty to “accentuate the positive.” But it involves commitment, and the willingness to let go of the negative and the complacent that creeps into our lives. That’s my prayer for today. I hope it is yours, too.

October 20, 2025 0

Prayers From the Cockpit

Years ago, a decorated fighter pilot, Robert Scott, wrote a book with the title, “God is My Co-Pilot.” It was made into a movie, and the title became a popular phrase for bumper stickers, posters, and more.

Theatrical trailer for “God Is My Co-Pilot” –youtube

More recently, there have been several people who have spoken out against the catch-phrase, by saying something to the effect of ,”If God is your co-pilot, someone is sitting in the wrong seat!” I mean no disrespect to Mr. Scott, the book, the movie, the bumper stickers or even the critics, but I think both sentiments kind of miss the point.

There is a much better analogy in the title of an lesser-known book by another pilot. Pilot and high school basketball coach Floyd Eby wrote a book called “Calling God’s Tower– Come In, Please.”

I’m not a pilot or a coach, and I’m not claiming that Scott’s title is bad, or that Eby’s book is “better.” Certainly, when I pray, I believe that God is always right beside me, that he hears me, and that he knows my thoughts and my heart intimately. I think that is the intent of the co-pilot analogy, and as such, it rings true. But God is much more than a partner, a co-pilot, or a colleague. The danger of this thinking is that we take God for granted. If God is my co-pilot, I won’t turn to him for help unless something is going wrong and “my way” isn’t working.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me.” (John 15:5 CSB)

So what about “switching seats?” Shouldn’t God be my pilot? He is God and I’m not. It is true that this represents a better view of God’s authority and sovereignty. It is also true that God is greater, stronger, and wiser than I am. But I think this view, though more accurate in portraying our position, gives rise to another dangerous idea– that I can sit back and be little more than a passenger, while God does all the flying. One of the valid criticisms of modern Christianity (especially in America), is that we know about Christ, and talk about Christ, but we don’t always live for Christ. We see the finished work of Christ as an excuse to sit back, smug and complacent about morality, evangelism, obedience, and good works. We shout, “Jesus Paid it All!” and mumble “All to Him I Owe.” We want to sit in the cockpit for the pretty view, but we don’t want to learn how to fly the plane.

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:12-13

God has given us the privilege and the responsibility to be the pilots (or drivers, or captains) of our lives–He gives us the free will to make choices and steer our behavior or actions. We are not helpless passengers on a fatalistic trip through this life. He has equipped us to know the thrill of soaring and banking and flying through the clouds. But God doesn’t leave us to fly blindly through the haze and clouds and glare. He gives us his word, which, like a map, chart, instrument panel, or GPS system, shows us where and how we should go. And, like the air control tower, he gives extra guidance, listens to our needs, and provides assurance as we stay tuned to him.

God also sees and knows more than we do in our cockpit. When I’m “calling God’s Tower”, he knows all that goes on above and below, ahead and behind– he knows about the storms in the distance or the other planes scheduled to arrive or take off from the airport. I can trust his advice, his commands, and his presence more than my own judgment or eyesight.

I want to learn how to fly; I want to soar like an eagle, and I want to come in for a safe landing at the end of my journey. I need to keep in constant contact with God’s tower and follow His wise flight plan.

October 17, 2025 0

“Little” Prayers

I was challenged the other day by someone who suggested that my prayers are “too little.” Well, not precisely “my” prayers– I head up a small prayer group at church, and we pray for people in our congregation and our community. We keep a running list of people who are suffering from various health issues or housing issues, relationship issues, etc. We also pray for our church staff, for missionaries that our church supports, for upcoming ministry opportunities and programs, and other seemingly “small” requests. These are posted on a list and shared with some of our church members who are shut in or who want to lift up their neighbors in very specific ways.

I don’t think this person meant to be insulting but I see our prayer group quite differently. These “little” prayers are heartfelt, and I believe they reflect the heart of our Savior. Yes, Jesus offered salvation through His death and resurrection to “whosoever believeth” (John 3:16) throughout all the ages, but in His ministry, Jesus was extremely personal and intimate. Among His disciples, Jesus taught them to ask for “our daily bread” and for simple forgiveness as “we forgive” those who have hurt us. (Matthew 6:9-13) And I think our prayer group reflects that aspect of prayer. So, even though our list may seem “small” as we pray for Ned’s pneumonia, or Clarice’s upcoming CAT scan, next week’s teen outing, or Chris’s continuing housing issue, it is also showing compassion and worth to each individual, sharing in their “burdens” (Galatians 6:2) because God loves each of us without condition or limit!

On the other hand, I think I know what this individual was trying to convey. We are also called to pray “big” prayers. Jesus encouraged His disciples to have “big” faith– the kind that moves mountains (see Matthew 17:20– although Jesus says that even faith as small as a mustard seed can result in this kind of answer!) “Little” prayers can be the result of “little” faith. We pray for God to intervene in ordinary things without asking Him to unleash His power and majesty. God is able to do infinitely more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:19-20) through the power of Christ in us! So are we tapping into that promise, or limiting our prayers to what we think God might do on a small scale?

I don’t think our prayer group is doing this at all. We often pray for peace in the Middle East and in other war-torn regions. We pray that the spirits of Anger, Lust, Deception, and Rebellion will be bound and that the eyes of the lost will be opened; that hearts will be softened toward the Gospel, and that our brothers and sisters facing persecution will be, strengthened, emboldened, and protected/rescued. We pray for Revival and renewal across nations and continents. And we pray that in these “little” situations, God’s love, wisdom, and power will be shown clearly– even to those who deny His existence.

Prayer is a huge topic, and a lifelong pursuit. I was challenged by this comment the other day to look closely at how our group functions; at how I present prayer each week; at how we perceive the calling and responsibility of prayer. In the Proverbs, we are told that “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17) Comments like the one that challenged me the other day are golden opportunities to learn, review, and grow in our daily pursuit. The Church is strengthened when we allow for each member to speak– especially if it stretches our view of things we take for granted!

I don’t believe there are any prayers that are “too little” to bring to God– He delights in our smallest steps of Faith; in our complete and simple dependence on Him. But I also don’t believe that our prayers can or should be limited by the mundane and ordinary. We should come boldly to the throne of Grace– not because of who we are or what we’ve done, but because of the Awesomeness and perfect Sufficiency of the God we serve!

October 13, 2025 0

The Weight of Prayer

Have you ever carried a burden that just got heavier each minute? Some pressing need, or a load of guilt and shame, or an unresolved issue that has been hanging over you for years with no relief. Sometimes, prayer is very heavy. It is a sacrifice, and a burden to keep praying for an unsaved loved one, or to fully confess the shame you have carried for years. Your needs (or the needs of loved ones) can push down on your spirit and make it difficult to even want to pray. Pain, grief, or persecution can cause you to shrivel up inside and even though you want to pray, you just can’t seem to find the words.

But oh! The relief of carrying our burdens to the throne of Grace! God may not give us immediate relief from the burdens of pain and suffering, but He will come alongside and shoulder a God-sized portion of our load. He has promised this. Jesus Himself said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)

Not only will God come alongside us as a result of prayer, His Spirit will help us in our weakness and inability to express our deepest emotions. “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” (Romans 8: 26-7 ESV)

I have found this to be true through experience. And I have also found great relief when I can share my burdens with other Christians and know that they are praying for me and for my loved ones. One of the greatest burdens we can bear is that of isolation and hopelessness. Finding a trusted group of fellow believers can ease the pain of bearing such burdens alone. Often, Christian friends can offer limited practical help for immediate needs or provide counseling and wisdom in our next steps. Two words of warning– no group of friends, even Christian friends, can substitute for God. Friendship should not substitute for prayer and Godly wisdom. And true friends will always point you to God rather than trying to fix everything in their own power and time frame. A true friend will not only share the “weight” of your burden, but also the “wait” for God’s answer! Secondly, “sharing” is not the same as rehearsing the same guilty secrets over and over for attention, shock value, or entertainment. It is not gossiping about the same horrible boss or nosy neighbor you can’t seem to forgive or lamenting over all the things you might have done differently as a parent (or spouse or co-worker) last week.

Prayer is deep. It is heavy. And it is powerful. But it can also be freeing, removing the burden of worry, shame, guilt, and isolation. We may enter prayer with groaning and exit with praise! God inhabits our prayers! He is with us in the groaning and in the struggle. He sends us friends and “angels unaware.” And He remains with us in victorious celebration. He provides comfort, strength, and peace as we lay our burdens down. He provides companionship, help, and hope as He shares the weight of whatever we bring to Him.

Don’t “wait” to share your burdens. Let God do the heavy lifting!

October 8, 2025 0

Pray For Me, Not About Me

Gossip and judgment are nasty habits– what happens when they creep into our prayer life?

I’ve sometimes struggled with the idea of praying for those who have hurt me or mistreated those I love. We are commanded to do it, but often, I am tempted to pray about my enemies instead of praying for them. As if God didn’t know what they had done; as if he needed me to alert him to their bad behavior, and remind him of how I was slighted, misunderstood, or powerless to bring justice to my friend or family member who was wronged. I want to tell God how to treat them– how to punish them, or abase them, or bring them to feel remorse. I want to hang on to the indignation and sense of victimhood–after all, God is going to make it right in the end, vindicating me and humiliating them, right? Except that’s not how it works in God’s economy…My vindication does not come at their expense, but through the blood of the truly innocent Lamb of God. Let that sink in. God is not in the business of torturing others to make himself feel more righteous. If I want to follow Christ, my actions, and my prayers, should be full of his Grace, not my bitterness.

I am not alone in this– and I’m sure I have been “prayed about” often enough. Even saints and matriarchs of old have done it. And King David was guilty of it as well–several of the Psalms include angry, even vicious rants against David’s enemies. It’s understandable; it’s only natural for us to feel indignant, angry, and hurt in the face of injustice, unkindness, hatred, and abuse. And it’s not inappropriate for us to cry out for justice, or pour out our hurt and frustration. But it is wrong to stand in judgment and unforgiveness when we come before the throne of Heaven.

I believe that these are the difficult prayers that teach us to know God better– as well as ourselves. To pray for those who have hurt us means that we must move beyond what they have done– not to deny it, or to excuse or forget about it, but to give it over to God –and deal with who they are. They are lost exactly as we are lost, but for the grace of God. They are redeemable, not because they can undo or atone for what has happened, but because God says that whosoever trusts in Him can be saved. They are precious in God’s sight. When we stop focusing on who hurt us, and how, we can instead focus on who heals us, and how he wants to heal others.

These prayers also serve to remind us that our true “enemies” are not the people who say or do unkind or even wicked things. Our true enemies are not the ones who can hurt our feelings, or even our minds or bodies. Our true enemies are the ones who would steal our souls– who tempt us to hold on to rage and despair, to hopelessness and doubt, to bitterness and shame.

It is so easy to write these words, and to “know” the right thing to do. But it is a painful, heartbreaking, humbling, stumbling uphill climb to DO the right thing. I still catch myself so often praying about certain people, instead of praying for them. God knows my heart–he knows if my prayer is sincere. And, as I struggle, I am reminded that the change I would wish to see in someone else mirrors the change I should wish to see in me The same Grace that God sends to heal and comfort me is the same Grace he offers to everyone who will take it–even when they choose not to accept it.

So I hope I am learning to pray for those who sneer at me; those who lash out in their own pain, anger, or thoughtlessness. To pray for their health and safety, their well-being, and their wholeness. For their sake–for the sake of the One who loves them eternally. And in the hope that healing and restoration will triumph over what lies in the past.

October 6, 2025 0

Words Are Not Enough

When tragedy happens, words are not enough to bring justice, resolution, and immediate peace to the situation. “I’m so sorry,” or “I’m here for you,” or “I’m praying for you…” In themselves, the words have no power to change circumstances. Words cannot bring back a lost loved one or undo a fire or earthquake or violent attack.

Yet, when we say that we are sorry, or that we are “here,” or that we are praying, we are offering more than just the words we speak. We are offering to share someone’s grief; to help in practical ways that can ease even some of the suffering; to call attention to God’s presence in every situation, no matter how dire.

Prayers are more than just the words we speak. In Romans 8:26, the Apostle Paul says, “We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Prayer often involves our entire being– body, soul, mind, and spirit–as we bow our heads or lift our hands, sweat, groan, go through a range of emotions from grief to praise, and try to express our heart cry in muddled words.

But prayer is not about US. It is not about our words or our emotions or even our desires. Prayer is about staying connected to God. In ourselves, we will always be insufficient. We may be able to take actions that will help others (or ourselves) achieve some measure of relief or understanding when things go terribly wrong. But we cannot bring complete justice; we cannot reverse what has already happened; we cannot guarantee outcomes. In prayer, we give outcomes and justice to the Only One who can bring true healing, justice, and peace out of our tragedies. We give up on the idea that our own thoughts and actions can overcome all the things that are beyond our control. And we lift up our questions, our fears, and our deepest hurts, with whatever measure of Faith we have, to the one we trust to make all things right. And we relinquish the idea that God MUST give us what we desire in the moment to believe that He gives us what is best according to His eternal plan.

Prayer isn’t simple. It isn’t a “cop-out.” It is a sacrifice. God may never answer our desire for an explanation, or for revenge in this life, or for a re-instatement of all that we think we deserve. But prayer connects us to the Sovereign Heart of God. Prayer doesn’t change our circumstances. It changes the way we respond to them. It changes the way we see ourselves and our own limited power. It changes the way we see others– even those who would harm (or have harmed) us.

Words are not enough– but Prayer taps into the all-sufficiency of God. That is more than enough. And the more we pursue and practice Prayer, the more we will understand its power and sufficiency.

October 3, 2025 0

Prayer and Marriage

As a young girl, I prayed about being married. Most of my prayers were pretty shallow– more about the wedding than the marriage. I dreamed of dresses and decorations, flowers and a shadowy “prince charming” type of groom, whisking me off into the sunset and living happily, dreamily ever after.

The years went by…MANY years! I prayed and dreamed through my twenties; I prayed and hoped through my thirties; and I prayed with less hope and more desperation in my early forties! But my prayers changed as I saw marriages around me. I saw many marriages that were solid, even through tough times. And I saw many “fairy tale” marriages crumble. I saw a lot of heartbreak, anger, and tears, as people who had once vowed to love one another “’til death us do part” fought over furniture and who got the kids over minor holiday weekends. I heard from frustrated wives who felt like they had made a huge mistake, marrying the “man of their dreams.” Some of them compounded the mistake by looking around for a replacement “Mr. Right.”

Instead of praying about a wedding, I began praying about marriage. Instead of praying for “Mr. Right,” I started praying that God would help me become “Mrs. Right.” And I prayed that God would show me what I should do for others during the time that I was single, as well as what I could do for him in a marriage relationship.

Thirteen years ago, I married my husband, David. He isn’t “Prince Charming,” though he can be charming and noble at times. He is, as I am, a flawed human being. David was married before, and he carries the hurt of betrayal and loss of trust from the past. I carry the hurt of being rejected and passed over for so many years. Marriage doesn’t make the past disappear. Marriage is not a “cure” for such hurts.

But marriage is more. God instituted marriage from the beginning for a man and woman to come together in a mysteriously intimate relationship that models what God’s love is like. (See Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31 and others.) David and I don’t exist to “complete” each other. We don’t cease to be our own individual selves. And yet, we are not the same as we were before our marriage. We are more than the sum of our parts– we are ourselves, yet we are one– the Fairs. He is David Fair, and I am Lila Fair, but WE are THE Fairs. And spiritually, we are also one WITH Christ– as individuals and as a couple. We walk forward as One. We make decisions together. We share hopes and dreams, as well as struggles and disappointments. We fight sometimes– not against each other, but against differences or misunderstandings that could weaken US as a couple and weaken our relationship with Christ.

I don’t pray any less often or less fervently now that I am married, but I pray daily about my marriage. I thank God that He was with me through all the “single” years. I thank God that He continues to work in our marriage– that David and I know more about love and faith, hope and fulfillment than we did 13 years ago! I pray that David and I will grow together for many years to come. I pray that we will impact our family as we live out what a Godly marriage is supposed to be. I pray that our marriage will inspire young men and women who are looking (as I once was) to see what a solid marriage involves– that the way we talk to each other, and behave, and work, and live will give hope to future couples, and glory to God.

Marriage and prayer go hand in hand. Prayer cannot guarantee that marriage will be easy–or even than it will survive. Marriage takes two people praying and walking in the same direction! But marriage–and life– without prayer will never be all that God intends it to be.

September 22, 2025 2

Our Father

Dad. Daddy. Pops. Papi. Da. Father.

During my youngest years, I called my father “Daddy.” Daddy was someone to hold me when I was tired, or frightened, or just in need of a hug. Daddy had all the answers; he could turn my tears into giggles, my pouts into apologies. His stern word could melt away rebellion; his smile could fill my heart to bursting.

As I grew older, he became “Dad.” Dad was wise. Dad gave good advise– even when I didn’t always take it. Dad listened and showed interest in what I said. Dad challenged me to do better, think deeper, try harder, and work smarter. Dad didn’t pick me up and carry me, but he was there beside me when I needed someone to lean on or lend a hand. Dad was my coach and advocate.

As an adult, Dad sometimes became “Pa.” Pa was someone who had “been there”. He had experience, and wisdom. He had patience and compassion. But his days of coaching and propping me up were fewer; his days of sharing his own faults, his unfulfilled dreams, his regrets–commiserating rather than commanding– grew more and became more precious to me. He was still my father, but he was also my friend– a fellow traveler on this road; one I knew well and loved dearly. One I respected and trusted, even though he was not perfect.

I was blessed to have a father who was good and kind; a man of integrity and humor; a man who loved his family more than life, loved his neighbors, his community, music, nature, animals, and good food. Most of all, he loved God. Not with fire and brimstone fanaticism, but with humble astonishment that God would send his son to die for him. He lived in the wonder of that truth– that “whosoever believeth (in him) should not perish, but have eternal life” included him.

I say all this, not just to honor my earthly father, or to thank my heavenly father for that relationship, but to point out how prayer is often a reflection of how we view fatherhood. Some people have a difficult time praying and trusting God because they have never known an earthly father; or they’ve only known earthly fathers who were distant, unapproachable, or abusive. If this is the case for you, may I encourage you to ask God to reveal himself in a fresh way, with a name and vision that is personal and distinct from the earthly father you have known. Some people view God as “Daddy”–someone who fixes everything, holds us close, and keeps us safe. And he is all those things. But he is also “Dad” who wants to challenge us and coach us to grow and develop our character. He is “Abba”, and “Senor”, “Lord,” and “Father” and “Papa”. He is not “Pa” in the sense I knew my father, in that we are not his peers when we reach adulthood. He has no faults to share, no regrets. But he wants to share that precious intimacy that comes with time and familiarity–he wants us to develop trust and love as we get to know him better, however we call him.

There is one clear difference between God and any of our earthly parents– God is GOD– he is the creator and ruler of galaxies, and of microcosms, omnipotent and omniscient, omnipresent and eternal, holy and sovereign.

And when I pray, I pray to him– almighty King of Kings– and my Father!

September 19, 2025 0

Cowardly Prayer

But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Matthew 6:6 (ESV)

Prayer can sometimes seem like a cowardly action. It seems passive; it relies on faith and, often, patience. We connect courage to action– courageous people DO something; cowards sit on the sidelines or hide in their closets. Yet Jesus told His disciples to go into their rooms or closets, close the door, and pray in secret. Jesus himself often went out into the desert to pray alone. Jesus’s ministry was filled with passive moments. He spoke, or he walked along from town to town. He stopped to heal people by touching them or speaking to them. He rarely raised his voice or let his temper show. He allowed himself to be arrested, tried, sentenced, beaten, and crucified, without making a vigorous defense or protesting his horrific and unjust treatment. On the cross, his one impassioned outburst was a prayer to His Father–“My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34)

We don’t think of Jesus as a coward. Yet, we often sneer at Christians who spend more time praying and less time “doing.” Being active is not a bad thing. Jesus commanded His disciples with many active words– “GO,” “teach,” “feed My sheep.” And there are busy people who are courageous in their own way. They go into dangerous places to preach the Gospel. They risk their health and safety to reach the lost with the Good News that Jesus Saves! They stand firm for the truth, and they defend it with vigor and passion. But Jesus also commanded His disciples to “Follow Me.” That means that we need to look at and model our lives after the ways that Jesus responded to various situations, and how He lived. The question we often ask is “what would Jesus do?” But the real question we should ask is “what did Jesus DO?”

Jesus prayed. He prayed for people; He prayed with people; and He prayed alone for hours and even days. And Jesus prayed courageous prayers. He didn’t pray “safe” prayers. Even His anguished prayer in the garden ended with courageous and humble resignation– “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42) Jesus also engaged lovingly and personally with the kinds of people that others ignored or wrote off or dismissed as broken, damaged, or irredeemable.

Just this week, a young Christian apologist and conservative speaker, Charlie Kirk, was assassinated. He was well-known and admired (or detested) for speaking up about family values, and Christian principles on American college campuses. He often faced hostile critics and smug detractors– atheists, anarchists, and those who called him a racist, a homophobe/transphobe, a bigot, and a “hater.” I never met Mr. Kirk. I watched some of the videos his group posted of him patiently and passionately arguing for marriage, faith, morality, hard work, ethical behavior, and national issues like immigration reform, tariffs, and foreign policy matters. I respected much of what he said, and some of how he said it. One of the things I most respected was his commitment to listening and asking questions, instead of merely attacking. But the most amazing thing about Mr. Kirk was his passionate and outspoken commitment to Jesus Christ. His faith was the center of everything he said, and in the way he interacted with supporters and detractors alike. He did not shy away from difficult questions, and he rarely resorted to easy answers, but he always pointed others to the example and the words of Jesus.

In the wake of his death, many people are asking, “What now?” Mr. Kirk was articulate, passionate, and willing to put himself in danger in order to defend the truth and his personal views. He trusted God to use him, and he was willing to pay a horrible price– being hated, threatened, and ultimately shot to death–to do what he saw as God’s work. He left behind a family (wife and two children), several close friends, and a host of people who followed him on social media and looked to him as a Godly example. Fellow Christians, while we may grieve his loss here, rejoice that he is Home with his Savior for eternity. But many people are wondering what will happen if no one steps forward to take his place and carry on his mission. While I believe that many young people will be inspired to speak out and engage in discussions, I don’t think most of us are meant to step into a spotlight. I think we NEED more people who will commit to going into their closets and pray. While Mr. Kirk put himself in the public arena, there have been hundreds and thousands of people praying for him. They continue to pray for his family, his outreach organization, “Turning Point”, and they even pray for those who instigated and committed this violence.

Prayer is NOT cowardly. Prayer warriors are needed to intercede, to call on Heaven’s Armies to continue in the age-old battle. We should be willing to have the difficult conversations when they arise. Some of us will be called to initiate such conversations openly and with fierce determination. And we should all be ready to “give a reason for the hope that is in you” (1 Peter 3:15) even when it is with “trembling and fear.” And we should always remember to be humble and show kindness, even to those who despise us. But some of us need to be lifting up those who are being attacked. Some of us need to pray more boldly, more often, and more confidently in light of the violence that has exploded in our world. We need to pray, not just for the Charlie Kirks of the world, but for the salvation of all the would-be assassins. We need to pray for the hearts and minds of those who want to argue and “cancel” all those who stand for God’s Word. And for all those who do not know the truth, who are confused, befuddled, or deceived.

We need those who can be courageous– whether in the public square or in a private room.