Out of the Blue

There is an English phrase for something that happens completely unexpectedly; we say that “it came out of the blue.” I thought I understood that phrase, but I got a deeper understanding this past Friday. My husband and I were in Elkhart, Indiana, just across the border from our home county in Michigan. We often drive the 20 miles or so to Elkhart for shopping, banking, eating out, and more. The weather was surprisingly warm and humid for March, with a light breeze and blue skies dotted with light gray clouds. David and I had eschewed both coats and jackets for the day– nearly unheard of for this time of year in our area.

But as we prepared to return home, we noticed that the gray clouds to the north of us had grown darker and heavier. And lower. Still, there was blue sky above us and to the south. It wasn’t raining and there was only a light breeze. We were listening to a radio talk show, which was suddenly interrupted by a high-pitched alarm. The announcer said that there was a tornado warning for our county– the one we were driving through!– and that we should be looking for rain and hail, strong winds, and possible tornadic activity.

We searched the skies– the same clouds we had seen in the north looked darker than normal, but we experienced no strong winds and no rain. About a mile later, we saw evidence that it had rained recently, but otherwise, it was calm. The sky above us was blue. Birds were singing. The air seemed fresh and calm. Still, the weather alert kept giving details. A tornado warning was in effect for the next 35 minutes for our county and the one directly east of us. But we kept driving. A couple of miles later, we saw a small patch of damage– a few twigs and dead leaves had blown across the road in one spot. The evidence of rain became clearer– there were large puddles. We drove through some of the area that had been mentioned in the alert– we skirted Edwardsburg, Diamond Lake, and Cassopolis. We saw small spots of rain and wind damage, and we came into some rain that was still falling, but it was gentle. Behind us to the south and west, the skies were blue.

When we arrived home, we looked at the recent news posts. We were shocked to see that several houses on either side of our path had been touched by hail and tornadoes just before came home, and that tornadoes were still doing damage to the east– in the town where our son lives! We watched as video footage showed the grocery store where I had shopped just days ago losing parts of its roof, while the DIY store across the street lost its entire roof and some of the west wall! Power lines were down, cars and small buildings were being lifted, twisted, and thrown back down on the ground. This was only a mile from our son’s house! And now, our cell phones weren’t working, so we couldn’t call him to see if he was ok. And our skies were blue–someone close by even posted pictures of rainbows!

It turned out our son and his home were fine– they were out of power for a few hours, but no damage to the roof or house or vehicles. Some of my cousins, who also live in that city reported on-line that they were also safe. Whew!

Long story– scary afternoon and evening– but it got me thinking. We were right at the edge of a dangerous storm path, and without the radio warning, we would have concluded that there had been no more than a rain shower around us. Had we been traveling just a few minutes earlier, we might have been taken unawares. This storm came with very little warning, and did a lot of damage, yet people were going about their daily lives– unprepared and unaware of the danger.

Tornadoes are scary because they often come like that– with little warning, and little way of predicting how strong or fast or dangerous they will be. But how many other things in life hit us “out of the blue?” A heart attack, an auto accident, a house fire–suddenly our life spins out of control. How will we react?

After the first shock, we can become lost in the immediate chaos– everything we depend on can vanish in an instant. “Out of the blue” we can lose our health, our job, our home, our relationships, our bank account, and anything else where we find our security. OR, we can rediscover our strength, our hope, and our trust in a God who is more powerful than a tornado; more solid and eternal than any building, and constantly aware of our circumstances– whether we are enjoying blue skies or looking at threatening clouds from the ruins of our family home.

I am praying for the families who were impacted by the recent storms– especially those families who lost homes or loved ones. I can’t offer the comfort of knowing why this happened, or what exactly will come next. But I can offer the hope of knowing the One who knows all things, and whose love is greater than anything else we could ever trust.

Sometimes, bad things come “out of the blue.” Bad things happen to people– not just “bad” people, or “good” people–for reasons that make no earthly sense. But such things, like tornadoes, pass away, die out, leave their mark, or move on. And if we look again, we will be able to see the “blue” sky– the good things that remain, and the hope of renewal.

I Shall Not Want..

Of all the 150 Psalms in the Bible, Psalm 23 is the most well-known. It speaks of our Lord as a Shepherd who takes care of us, leading us to green pastures and calming our fears even in the valley of the shadow of death. But these four words in the very first verse, though comforting to many, have also been a source of grief to others. If the Lord is my Shepherd, I should have no reason to want. But what if I still have wants? Unanswered prayers? Struggles and trials and lacks?

Let’s look at the phrase carefully. “I shall not want” is the wording in the King James (English) version of scripture. More modern translations render the phrase as “I lack nothing (NIV),” “I have what I need (CSB),” or other variations of “I shall not want.” Let’s stick with “I shall not want,” and look at it word by word.

This Psalm is very personal. The Lord is MY Shepherd– I shall not want. This is between me and my Shepherd. I may be tempted to look around and compare, to want what someone else has, even if I don’t need it; even if it isn’t good for me. But when I depend on my Shepherd to provide, I can trust that whatever comes, He knows what I want and what I need. He knows what is best. Therefore, I shall not worry or wonder or want.

I am a former English teacher, so the verb “shall” interests me here. “Shall” and “will” are sometimes used interchangeably in English, but they are not exactly the same. “Shall” is not used much, but it indicates a future condition, or a condition that is ongoing into the future. It is not the active verb in this phrase, but rather the indicator of when that action (wanting, lacking, needing) will take place and how. The difference between “shall” and “will” in this case is not one of action, or time, but of volition. “Will” indicates a conscious decision– I “Will not want” means I will determine the action and outcome–without a Shepherd’s guidance or provision. I “Shall not want” means the outcome is determined by my Shepherd (in this case), not by my own volition or actions. There may be things I “will” still want– if I’m trying to go my own way and depend on my own wisdom and abilities, but that doesn’t change my condition–God has provided. God has given. God WILL continue to provide.

“I shall NOT want”– I may desire something else; I may not have what others have; I may be poor or sick or sad. I may respond to my circumstances with grumbling, doubt, anger, envy, greed, or disbelief. But I can also respond with trust, gratitude, wonder and worship, knowing that God sees me, knows me, and cares for my always. God doesn’t force me to respond positively to hard times– the Psalmist doesn’t say, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall be grateful,” or “I shall never complain.” He doesn’t say, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall have whatever gives me pleasure or makes my life easier.” Rather, he gives us a true picture life– I will NOT have everything I wish for; I will NOT understand or take pleasure in all the circumstances of my life, but I shall NOT be abandoned, left alone and without help or resources, lacking any source of hope, joy, peace, or love.

Finally, we come to the word “want.” In this context, it is meant to signify lack– I shall lack for nothing; I shall not be without (God who provides). And this is where many people struggle with the verse; with the Psalm; with the Shepherd Himself. We DO lack– many things. We lack money to pay the bills, we lack in our relationships, we lack perfect health, we lack patience…the list is endless. We “want” for many things. And we read Psalm 23, and it seems to mock us. If God is our Shepherd, why do we lose loved ones to disease? Why do we have to declare bankruptcy? Why did our spouse file for divorce? Why can’t we break that bad habit or addiction? Why do we see “good” people suffering? Doesn’t God see or care? God doesn’t give us easy answers. He doesn’t promise ease and comfort in this fallen world. But He is with us, not matter where, no matter what, no matter how we got there. And He promises to renew, restore, and redeem all that we lack in the present– perfectly and forever after.

I shall not WANT. I shall suffer in the present– loss, pain, confusion, heartbreak, disappointment, failure. But I am not “without”– not without God’s presence in this world, and not without His promise of justice, mercy, hope, and love now and in the world to come. I am still a sheep–I have needs, I make unwise decisions, and I don’t have the ability to see or defend against the dangers of this world. But I have a Shepherd– all-knowing, all-powerful, and extravagant in Love and Grace. I will depend on Him. I will call out to Him. I will follow Him. And I shall not want!

Too Proud to Pray About It

I had a small habit.
Not a horrible addiction,
Or a life-threatening compulsion.
Just a little thing.
No need to pray about it…

I had a toothache.
Just a small one.
I made a dental appointment.
No need to pray about it…

My boss was giving me a hard time–
She “had it out for me.”
She was wrong, of course.
Everyone else said so.
No need to pray about it…

Finances were tight last month.
We were just a few dollars short.
No big deal.
Some bills were paid a little late.
No need to pray about it…

My son is having a hard time at school.
There’s a bully in his class.
I spoke to the teacher.
I gave him advice.
I told him all about the bullies I had faced.
Bullies I had dealt with and overcome.
No need to pray about it…

“Pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
“Look to the Lord and His strength: seek His face always.” (1 Chronicles 16:11)
“May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.” (Psalm 141:2)

God is not so far away
That He does not know my every need.
The “small” things I keep from Him
Keep me from seeing
Just how close He really is…

“For though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly,
    but the haughty he knows from afar.” (Psalm 138:6)

Words Are Not Enough

When tragedy happens, words are not enough to bring justice, resolution, and immediate peace to the situation. “I’m so sorry,” or “I’m here for you,” or “I’m praying for you…” In themselves, the words have no power to change circumstances. Words cannot bring back a lost loved one or undo a fire or earthquake or violent attack.

Yet, when we say that we are sorry, or that we are “here,” or that we are praying, we are offering more than just the words we speak. We are offering to share someone’s grief; to help in practical ways that can ease even some of the suffering; to call attention to God’s presence in every situation, no matter how dire.

Prayers are more than just the words we speak. In Romans 8:26, the Apostle Paul says, “We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Prayer often involves our entire being– body, soul, mind, and spirit–as we bow our heads or lift our hands, sweat, groan, go through a range of emotions from grief to praise, and try to express our heart cry in muddled words.

But prayer is not about US. It is not about our words or our emotions or even our desires. Prayer is about staying connected to God. In ourselves, we will always be insufficient. We may be able to take actions that will help others (or ourselves) achieve some measure of relief or understanding when things go terribly wrong. But we cannot bring complete justice; we cannot reverse what has already happened; we cannot guarantee outcomes. In prayer, we give outcomes and justice to the Only One who can bring true healing, justice, and peace out of our tragedies. We give up on the idea that our own thoughts and actions can overcome all the things that are beyond our control. And we lift up our questions, our fears, and our deepest hurts, with whatever measure of Faith we have, to the one we trust to make all things right. And we relinquish the idea that God MUST give us what we desire in the moment to believe that He gives us what is best according to His eternal plan.

Prayer isn’t simple. It isn’t a “cop-out.” It is a sacrifice. God may never answer our desire for an explanation, or for revenge in this life, or for a re-instatement of all that we think we deserve. But prayer connects us to the Sovereign Heart of God. Prayer doesn’t change our circumstances. It changes the way we respond to them. It changes the way we see ourselves and our own limited power. It changes the way we see others– even those who would harm (or have harmed) us.

Words are not enough– but Prayer taps into the all-sufficiency of God. That is more than enough. And the more we pursue and practice Prayer, the more we will understand its power and sufficiency.

My Hope is Built

We are in the midst of a revival week at my church. Our theme is Hope. So what does “hope” mean for the Christian?

Hope is more than just a dream or a wish or an expectation that something good might happen. Hope for the Christian is a confident expectation, based on God’s character and His promises. Hope is not a wispy airy thought; not a feeling that rides on circumstances or predictions. Hope is a future reality BUILT on a solid foundation.

But it must be built on a sure foundation. Hope that is centered on temporary or insubstantial things will itself be temporary and insubstantial. It will fade; it will founder; it will fail. But hope that is built on the eternal character of God will not disappoint us (see Romans 5:5). We may be shaken by circumstances; we may have questions about how or when our future will unfold– but we can have confidence in the final outcome. We can rest securely, even in the middle of the storms of life, knowing that God is in control; that God has a perfect plan and has the power to sustain us and to redeem our situation.

So where is my hope today? Is it being built, or is it flitting around in the clouds of whims and wishes and baseless dreams? When I pray today, will I have hope in God’s sovereignty, or will I hope in my own plans and my own strength?

1 Corinthians 13 ends with this statement: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” We “love” to quote this verse, and others in the chapter, but the Apostle Paul ties Love to hope and faith. They work together. And notice that Paul doesn’t say these three exist, but that they “remain.” They are solid. They are eternal. They are the core of what makes us followers of Christ, who is the source of all three.

My Hope is Built. Just as a building takes time and stands the test of time, Hope is developed as I experience God’s faithfulness. And that comes as I continue to put my faith in God’s Sovereign control over my life and the lives of those I love. God is the master architect. What He builds will last. And I can Love with confidence and endurance, because it is anchored to a solid Hope that is built up in Faith. My hope is built on nothing less that Jesus’ Blood and Righteousness! On Christ the Solid Rock I STAND!

Almighty!

I’ve been looking at the Names of God lately. In my last post, I meditated on “Adonai”– The LORD. God has the ultimate authority over all things. He is the Master; the King; the Ruler; the One LORD of All.

Today, I want to explore a related Name– Almighty. It is often used in conjunction with LORD. God is the LORD ALMIGHTY. Whereas LORD refers to God’s ultimate authority, Almighty refers to His Absolute Ability. He is all-powerful, all-wise– able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we could ever ask or imagine (see Ephesians 3:20). There is literally nothing that God cannot do. There are many things He WILL not do– He will never leave or forsake those who are His; He will never be untrue to His own Word or break His promises; He will never change His nature or be untrue to it– but He CAN do whatever He wants.

And this is where we sometimes fail to grasp the fullness of His name, Almighty. We know that He is Mighty; that He is mightier than we are, at least. But He is the source of Everything! He is mightier than Nature–He spoke all of it into being! He is mightier than Time– He is unbound by time or age or deterioration. He is mightier than Sin and Death– He proved that through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ! He is mightier than the dark emptiness of space– He holds the entire Universe in His Hands!

And that brings me to the subconscious wonder of the name, Almighty. God is not JUST all-powerful and eternally capable. His Almighty nature is GOOD! All of His power is regulated and matched by Mercy and Grace! He has the authority (as LORD) and the power (as the Almighty) to be a terrible enemy. In fact, Job speaks of this repeatedly when he feels that God is punishing him unfairly (see Job 27). I can’t argue against God and win; I can’t grapple with God and defeat Him (Jacob tried that in Genesis 32). I am powerless against God– physically, mentally, spiritually–I cannot “win” against God by fighting, arguing, cajoling, bargaining, or using any weapon. There is no army, no spirit, no power that can budge God from His plans.

But God is NOT my enemy or my rival! Only Sin and my own rebellion and pride can make me an enemy of God. In fact, He wants a relationship with me; He wants me to live in peace and harmony with Him! He has moved Heaven and Earth to reconcile me to Himself through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ! He is like a mama bear or a lioness with their cubs, jealously guarding me from Sin and Death. He is my Father, my protector, my provider, and my Shepherd– the ALMIGHTY! And yet He cares about the smallest details of my life– He numbers the hairs on my head and keeps track of any injustice that has ever been done to me (or by me!) to be settled and made perfect on the Day of Judgment.

What a humbling thought! What a joyous reality! The Almighty LOVES ME! He LOVES YOU! And His Love is all-powerful and eternal. The ALMIGHTY IS LOVE! How can I not praise Him! How can I not see Him in every moment!

The Price of Discontent

If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness, he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, and constant friction among people who are depraved in mind and deprived of the truth, imagining that godliness is a means of gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.
1 Timothy 6: 3-10 (ESV)

This past week, I have really been struggling with discontent. There are things I want that I can’t afford; things I want to accomplish, but I have other obligations that eat away at my time and energy. I want to lose weight and exercise more– the spirit is willing– but my body and will-power are weak. And I spiraled down into anger, frustration, depression, and comparison. It’s been an ugly week. Instead of thanking God that we have enough money to pay the bills and buy groceries, I complain about the price of the groceries and bills, and the lack of money left over for entertainment or new clothes I don’t need.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain” (v.6). It’s a verse I learned as a girl, and yet I’m still struggling with the concept. Part of that, I think may be that our culture’s teachings clash with the Bible. There are people in our culture– even pastors and Bible teachers– who twist the Gospel so that, as Paul says they (imagine) that godliness is a MEANS of gain. (v. 5). And I have listened to, and bought into, that concept– that God rewards (financially, socially, physically) those who practice “godliness”. But what kind of godliness bargains with God for reward? What kind of godliness leads to discontent and anger?

No. Godliness is not a game or a role to play at. It is, much like prayer, a pursuit and a lifestyle. It is discipleship– following the example of Christ’s life and teachings– changing the way I think and the way I live. And no amount of “following the principles” on my own will lead to that kind of change, because my motive will always be “gain.” Whether gaining money, or status, or achievements and accolades, this type of sham godliness will leave me discontented. And the price of that discontent will be my life.

 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
John 10:10 (ESV).

Jesus did not come to earth to gain fame or fortune. He was despised by many and crucified by the religious authorities of his day. He was misunderstood, and he was, in worldly terms, a failure. He was homeless, childless; there were no monuments to His achievements, no medals or honors bestowed on Him by the rulers of the day. BUT He came to make it possible for us to break the chains of Sin, guilt, worry, jealousy, and discontent. Jesus saw suffering around Him. He saw people with beautiful houses, high social status, productive farms or businesses, and great political power. But He was not drawn to them. He was content to do the Father’s will; content to travel from town to town, talking with lepers and prostitutes, with tax collectors and beggars. And His life changed the world! It is because of His life, death, and resurrection that I can have eternal life and abundant life now and forevermore (John 3:16).

That doesn’t mean that I have everything I want, or that I don’t have to struggle in the present. And it doesn’t mean that I am comfortable and complacent with what I do have. Sometimes, life is difficult and doesn’t seem very “abundant” in the moment. I still have bills. I still have diabetes. And I still have ambitions and unrealized goals. I just need to remember what the Gospel is really all about. It isn’t about becoming rich or well-respected, or productive in the eyes of the world. My life may be quietly abundant in the things that really matter– peace with God, time with family and friends, opportunities to reach out with hope and encouragement to those who need it, seeing beyond the moments of life to the value of life itself.

“Godliness with contentment” isn’t about wealth or achievement. It’s about the journey– and taking this journey WITH God–walking at His pace, walking where He tells me to walk, walking toward a greater goal. Discontent takes me along a different path– one that will never result in a life that is truly abundant and worth living. I waste my days wishing for this or regretting that or envying someone else’s victories instead of being able to join with them in celebration. It teaches me to be frantic, restless, and angry with myself and others. It leaves me exhausted and unfulfilled.

Money, fame, achievement– none of these is the “root of all evil.” Rather, it is the love of ANYTHING that displaces my “first” love for God that is the root of all kinds of hurt, grief, disappointment, and waste.

Summer and Winter, and Springtime and Harvest

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God, my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee.
Thou changest not; thy compassions, they fail not–
As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above:
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.

Great is Thy faithfulness. Great is Thy faithfulness;
Morning by morning, new mercies I see.
All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided:
Great is Thy faithfulness, LORD unto me.

According to the calendar, it is spring in Michigan right now. But we’ve experienced nearly all four seasons in the past two weeks! Some days were mild and sunny, others were rainy, windy, chilly, and a couple of days were even blustery with snow and sleet! Flowers have started popping up, birds have been chirping, even as the snow flies! My hall tree is covered in jackets, winter coats, hats, scarves, and caps. A few days, I’ve been in short shirt sleeves and sunglasses; the next days, I’ve needed a coat, hat, and gloves!

But even in days of chaotic weather, God is faithful! Even when I can’t decide what to wear, God is with me. If it should suddenly snow in June (and that HAS happened in Michigan before), God will not abandon me. Just as each day brings its own weather, each day brings God’s blessings.

Some days those blessings may include sunshine and bird song. Other days may include a much-needed hug from a friend, or a shoulder to cry on. Some days will bring both joy and sorrow, with God in the center of each. Each raindrop, each chattering squirrel, each beam of sunlight– all testify to God’s enduring presence. Each bud on the tree, each new tadpole, each wildflower in the forest, remind me that God is faithful to bring new life out of even the dead of winter.

Spring is a wonderful time to reflect on the goodness of God, and His wisdom in creating seasons– wet, dry, cold, hot, restful, chaotic– God is master of all the seasons, and all the days of our lives. And that is a bright thought, no matter what the weather brings today!


Be Still and Know…

Psalm 46
For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth. A song.
God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

When I am tempted to fret or worry, I like to read through Psalm 46. I love the way the psalmists use hyperbole to shrink fear and maximize faith– God is an “ever-present help”, we will not fear, “though the earth give way, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea”, “He lifts his voice, the earth melts!” And I love that the phrase is repeated– “The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

There is so much to unpack in just 11 verses of psalm! But I want to stick to two that always stand out to me.

First, the phrase, “the God of Jacob.” God is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He is the God of Moses, the God of Israel, the God of David…His titles are many. But in this case, He is the God of Jacob. NOT the God of Israel– even though God changed His name. No, He is the God of Jacob– the “heel grabber,” the son who stole his brother’s blessing and tricked his brother out of his birthright– the same Jacob who fled his homeland and worked for twenty years for his duplicitous uncle Laban. This is not the God of the victorious, but the God of those who have had to learn the hard way. He is the God of the one who has acted unjustly, and the God of one who has been treated unjustly. He is the God of the one who wrestles and demands a blessing, the God of the second son, the disappointed husband, and the grieving father. THAT is the God who is with US when we are in trouble and feeling overwhelmed by our own past mistakes, or our own inadequacies, or our unfair circumstances.

Secondly, the phrase “be still and know that I am God.” This same God who wrestled with Jacob, who blessed him in dramatic fashion, was the God who was with him through all the long and lonely night watches as a shepherd. Jacob, with his two wives, their two servants, and all thirteen or more of his children (12 sons and at least one daughter, Dinah)–spent a lot of his time surrounded by noises, nagging, responsibilities, and discord. Yet he took time to ‘be still.” And, though it took many years, and often came “the hard way,” Jacob did learn to “know” his God. He learned to trust that God would protect him, guide him, and bless him– and the generations that would follow him!

I am so grateful for this Psalm to remind me of God’s everlasting presence, His power to save and protect, and His sufficiency for every circumstance in my life. I’m so glad that the “God of Jacob” is the same God who sees me, loves me, and rescues me. I’m humbled to know that I don’t have to be clever enough or brave enough, or “righteous” enough to earn God’s help. I’m glad that the Lord Almighty is always with me. (see Hebrews 13:5) However, I still struggle to “be still and know…” I want to know by doing; by studying and making things happen. But to know God– to really know Him– I have to be still, to wait in silence and anticipation, to trust in what I cannot see and cannot do in my own power. I have to know Him as the Almighty, Omnipotent, Sovereign God that He is, rather than a God of my own imagination or the God I hear about or read about from someone else.

What a mighty God! The God of Jacob is MY fortress! And in stillness, meditation, and trust, I can KNOW Him!

Why I Don’t Pray

Of course, I DO pray. I pray a lot. I write a blog about prayer. But there are times when I find it hard to pray; times when my prayers seem feeble or awkward; times when I just don’t pray. So how does this happen, and why?

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

Well, there are many reasons why our prayer life can go through a dry season:

  • “I’m just too busy.” Sometimes, I let busyness and distractions keep me from spending quality time in prayer. I like to pray first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. But I’m not naturally a morning person, and sometimes, the night seems to get away from me. And my prayer life can suffer.
  • “I’d rather worry about it.” This may sound like a strange statement, but sometimes, praying about a situation seems like I’m giving up “agency” over the problem. Trusting God and letting go are easier said than done. Worrying about a problem, imagining all the things I “should” be doing, or that others should be doing to fix it gives me a sense of ownership over my circumstances.
  • “I don’t really want to talk to God about ‘that’.” God already knows my heart and my mind, but I want to hold on to the illusion that God loves me because I’m so good, not acknowledging that God’s love is His gift, not my reward. God wants to hear the ugly parts of my life. Yes, I stand justified by the work of Christ on the cross. I don’t have to wallow in my mistakes or beat myself up over all the ways I “fall short of the Glory of God”. But the more I try to pretend I am someone I’m not, the harder it is to remember why God loves me– He loves me because He IS Love!
  • “God isn’t interested in this little thing.” OR “God is tired of hearing about this chronic problem.” I can stop praying about something because I expect God to respond like a person– maybe even like me. I get tired of listening to the same things over and over. I get tired of wrestling with the same issues. I want to come to God with a problem and have it solved– quickly, easily, and permanently. But God’s ways are not my ways. And God wants me to trust Him, regardless of the situation.
  • “I’m not so sure about God right now. I feel let down, abandoned, or unheard.” Doubts and emotions can be so strong– if we let them take over, we will isolate, even from God. Praying during such times can even feel like hypocrisy.

There are many reasons and excuses that can cause us not to pray. I know, because I have fallen victim to them. But ultimately, they boil down to one thing– a choice.

Choosing to pray can be difficult. It involves discipline, faith, humility, and a burning desire to spend time with our Heavenly Father– even when our emotions and circumstances get in the way. It is helpful to remember why I DO pray:

  • God wants to hear from me. I may not always FEEL this, but the Bible is clear about it– God WANTS a relationship with me, with you, with each one of His children.
  • God knows the human heart. He knows our weaknesses, and He knows our hurts and how we have hurt others. And He will not turn His back on those who seek Him. There is nothing I can say to Him in prayer that will cause Him to withhold His love, His forgiveness, and His mercy. He is in the business of redemption!
  • God’s ways are not my ways. If I feel that God is distant because I don’t see Him clearly, or hear Him directly, that doesn’t mean He is not there. Often, I don’t want to rely on Faith– I want proof of God’s favor; I want proof of God’s protection; I want to be able to “prove” God to others, and to justify myself. Prayer in the midst of doubt and pain is the very act of dying to that need and talking to God “anyway.”

There are still times when I don’t pray as often or as earnestly as I feel I should. But, like anything else worth pursuing, it’s worth the journey and the occasional struggle. It doesn’t get “easy”– but it does get easier, and richer, and more fulfilling.

If you haven’t been praying lately, or if prayer has become dry– DON’T GIVE UP. Don’t beat yourself up. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep on in the struggle. And if prayer has been wonderful and refreshing lately, WONDERFUL! But don’t trust in the feeling of powerful prayer– trust in the One to whom you are praying! He alone makes the pursuit worth it all.

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