When I was growing up, my Mom used to say, “I love all my children differently, but I love them all the same.” It didn’t make sense to me at first, but what she meant was that she loved us equally, but also uniquely as individuals. She didn’t treat us exactly the same, because we weren’t the same person, and because our circumstances were different. When my brother was small, there wasn’t enough time or money to do some of the things she did with me or my sister. When my sister and I were young, Mom was older and had less energy to do some of the things she had done with my brother. She punished us in slightly different ways, and encouraged us in slightly different ways, because we responded differently.
Mom is human, so even her best efforts weren’t perfect. Sometimes, we felt she treated us unfairly in certain matters. But overall, Mom has lived out her intention to “love us all the same.”
God follows the same principle. He shows no partiality; no favoritism. He sends rain and sunshine on “the just and the unjust.” (Matthew 5:45) He allows us to face sickness, trials, hardships, and disasters, regardless of our status or our relationship with Him. And He allows others, even evil-doers, to prosper and enjoy good health. This can be difficult for some of us to accept. I know many people who believe that they have an “in” with God– a special status that is supposed to keep them “safe” from disappointments and hardships, while punishing those who cross them in some way. But it doesn’t happen like that. God loves us and treats us each differently, according to our unique circumstances and personalities.
It is especially difficult to accept this in relation to prayer. God does not promise that, if we pray or if we have dozens of others praying for us, we will be spared pain and suffering, or receive only blessing and favor. This past year, we prayed for many friends and family who struggled with COVID (including David and I!) Many of them recovered; but others died. I just heard some wonderful news about a relative who was supposed to have a biopsy of a tumor on his brain. As he was being prepped for surgery, the surgeon realized that the lump had disappeared– there was nothing to biopsy! Case closed! It was wonderful news, and an answer to prayer. But what about my friend who had dozens praying for him to be healed of cancer? He had been in remission, but his cancer came back and just kept getting worse, and then he died. Does God love my relative more than my friend? Is he a “better” person, or more deserving of health and life? Absolutely not!
When we pray, we pray about what we see and what we understand. But God loves us each as individuals, and with perfect understanding and wisdom that we lack. I may never understand why some of my friends died of COVID or cancer, while others lived. I don’t know why some of the people I love have had to suffer pain and grief and loss, while others have been blessed with good health, opportunity, and riches. But I know this– God loves each one exactly as much as the others, and exactly as much as He loves me. Nothing about who I am or what I do can change God’s love for me– but it can and DOES change my love for Him!
Praying for those we love, especially those who are suffering, is not a “magic” formula. While God listens to and answers prayer, He doesn’t guarantee that “more” prayers or “better” prayers will change our circumstances or the outcomes of our circumstances. But prayer changes US. It can change our outlook and our attitude. It can change circumstances in unseen ways we cannot measure or imagine. One thing prayer cannot change– it won’t cause God to love us any more or less than He already does. His love is perfect in scope and power. He loves us–“All the Same!”