Tag: compassion

Prayer in the Cyber Age

I attend a weekly prayer meeting at our church. A small group of us meets one morning a week to share prayer concerns, pray for our pastors and church workers, missionaries, community members in need, etc. It usually lasts just about an hour. On a “good day,” we have about seven people.

I grew up in a small rural area, and our little country church had a weekly Wednesday evening prayer service. On a “slow night,” we might have seven people. Sometimes, we had thirty or more (nearly half the church congregation)! They lasted about an hour and a half. When I was in college, we had groups that met once a week for prayer. It wasn’t always the same group, but it met at the same time, and, again, we sometimes had as many as thirty in attendance– for prayer. Often, we met in a dorm room, so it was cramped, and many of us were sitting or kneeling on the floor. Once, we had a fire drill, and my feet had “fallen asleep” and I had to be helped as we walked to the exit!

I don’t say this to disparage our current small group, but to point out some of the differences between life in the 1970s, 1980s and today. My current church has activities every Wednesday evening, and much larger attendance than the little country church ever attained. And prayer is still a small part of the Wednesday evening programming. Prayer is encouraged in small groups, individually, and we pray during service. But sustained time set aside for prayer– what the old hymn refers to as “Sweet Hour of Prayer”–in a group setting is becoming more of a rarity.

There are many reasons for it– some good, some not so good.

On the “good” side, it must be noted that corporate prayer today has expanded far beyond the traditional in-person prayer meeting. Prayer can be skyped, group-chatted, zoomed, and conference-called. Prayer can be “hosted” in one location, with satellite groups around the world praying in real time together. In such ways, thousands, and even millions of people can be joined in prayer. This is an amazing development!

And, along with such developments, prayer has become far more global, and far more immediate. I can receive a text or e-mail notifying me of a prayer request from nearly anywhere in the world, and know that I am joining with a host of other Christians when I stop and take a few moments to pray right then.

So what’s the “downside” of cyber prayer?

Speaking as one who has lived the experience of meeting with the same people at a dedicated time over many years specifically to pray, I have observed the following benefits:

In-person prayer meetings offer a more intimate time of fellowship, compassion, and service. I’m not just seeing other people on a screen, reading a text message, or even filling an auditorium seat as part of a huge “movement”– I’m sitting in a circle, breathing the same air, hearing the same hum of the furnace or fluorescent lights, the sound of others breathing, sighing, or even crying quietly around me. Sometimes, I’m holding another person’s hand, or giving them a hug. I am not just among fellow believers, I’m with family. We get to know one another in a deeper way. I know their families, their personal struggles and victories. I learn the rhythm of their prayers, and the issues closest to their hearts– and they know mine! And that can be a scary thing at first– building the kind of trust that intimate fellowship demands. But it pays off a thousand-fold!

In-person prayer meetings are also focused in a different way. Cyber prayer usually focuses on a specific need– sometimes an immediate, or even temporary issue. In-person prayer focuses on the long term discipline of praying. I have prayed with groups over years for lost relatives or unresolved health issues. And while that may seem depressing to read about, in practice it teaches patience, and deepens faith. As a group, we see God’s answers develop according to HIS timing and HIS plan. Sometimes, we see issues resolved quickly; other times, we see how God strengthens us in our trials; and still other times we see God do surprising and miraculous things just as we’ve almost given up hope. And there are some answers we may never “see.” But, primarily, we are not praying for an outcome– we are praying as a pursuit of Christian living; developing a life of prayer, faith, and obedience. We spend much of our time in prayer lifting up requests, but we also spend much of our time in praise, worship, adoration, confession, and thanksgiving– because prayer is a holistic pursuit.

Which brings me to another benefit, one that may not seem obvious at first. Meeting consistently and weekly for prayer is a habit. It builds a character of faithfulness and true compassion like very little else I’ve encountered. God can “show up” wherever two or three are gathered (see Matthew 18:20), and because God is beyond time and space, He can be present in a church meeting room, in cyberspace, or in outer space! But we are temporal. We have to learn patience, hope, and faithfulness. We learn to be trustworthy of the feelings and confidences of others by sharing our hearts. We learn to serve by the practice of serving those around us over an extended period of time. We learn patience by waiting on the Lord, stopping our busy, deadline-driven, goal-oriented lifestyle to make time for the development of our faith.

Finally, in a post-COVID society, sustained, regular, corporate prayer is also sustained, regular, corporate fellowship. We live in an increasingly isolated society. With more people on the earth than ever before, we are more lonely, depressed, anxious, and self-absorbed than ever before. Even in Church! Many people attend service regularly, but still feel unconnected and uninvolved. And others get “involved” in every activity, often burning themselves out trying to “outdo” themselves (or others). Activities that promise fellowship can sometimes fall “flat” in the face of social expectations. We attend, hoping to “get something” out of an experience. We want to be entertained, challenged, encouraged, uplifted, etc. But often, our expectations are not met. We don’t feel included, or we feel overwhelmed. We imagine we are being compared to others (or we do the comparing!), and feel that we fall short. We don’t know enough, do enough, are not “enough.” And we give up. We give up on the church, on other Christians, on God.

Committing to attend a weekly prayer meeting pulls us “out of ourselves.” We learn to pray for the needs of others. We learn to share our own needs and allow others to pray for us. We learn to be transparent and authentic. We learn to forgive.

Prayer is amazing– in any form. Communicating with the God of the Universe is an unspeakably miraculous opportunity, made possible BY God, THROUGH God, for OUR benefit. Prayer in the cyber age is diverse, global, immediate, and effective. But let’s consider the blessing of old-fashioned Prayer Meetings, and not forsake the practice of meeting together (see Hebrews 10:25) , in person, with no other goal than to spend a sweet hour in prayer!

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Close to the Broken Hearted

As I write this, I am keenly aware that one year ago, I was at a graveside, saying farewell to my mother. Grieving comes in waves. I rejoice that she is in heaven, and I rejoice that she had a good, long life, and that she didn’t suffer very long at the end. But there is still an ache– wanting to share a memory or a laugh and knowing she isn’t here; questions I didn’t know I had, but now she can’t answer them; just missing her voice and her smile. My father has been gone for 25 years, and the same ache still hits at odd moments.

Sometimes, grieving brings us closer to God. At other times, we can let our grief drive us away from God. But God doesn’t move. He is ever-present. And He reminds us that He is “close to the broken hearted” (Psalm 34:18). When we are grieving, that is a blessed reminder. Grief tends to isolate us. “No one understands…” “Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you; cry, and you cry alone.” We see the “rest of the world” enjoying life, seemingly untouched by sorrow, and we feel abandoned twice over.

As Christians, we are called to follow Jesus’ example, and be close to the broken hearted. We should be the ones ready with a hug, a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on. We should be the ones who, like the friends of Job (before they offered ill-advised ‘counsel’) are willing to sit with our suffering friends for days at a time, offering the comfort of solidarity and ‘presence.’

My family was blessed with a host of Christian friends and family who comforted us in the days and weeks after Mom’s passing. They still ask. They still share memories. They still pray for us. And in return, we do the same. God does not want any of us to suffer alone.

And this is also true for those who suffer a broken heart for other reasons– divorce, the loss of a home to fire or flood, the loss of a job, a wayward son or daughter– it is important for us to draw strength from others, and offer strength in our turn. But the source of our strength is Jesus, who suffered on our behalf, and rose victorious over death and separation. When “no one” understands, He DOES. When the world leaves us grieving alone, He is THERE. And when we see someone else grieving and suffering, and we don’t know what to do– He gives us the strength and the compassion to reach beyond our own resources and offer comfort.

On our own, we can be like Job’s friends– after awhile, we try to offer solutions, explanations, even judgment about another’s grief. “It’s time to move on.” “Just get over it.” “Well, if only you had…” None of these are helpful. Jesus never said any of those things to the people He came to comfort. Instead, He encouraged them to look to Him as the “resurrection and the life.” (see John 11:25).

Today, let us do the same. There are hurting people all around us. Let’s be an encouragement to others to embrace life– even when we are broken hearted.

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God’s Economy

“Times are tough!” I hear many people complaining about the economy lately. And they have good reason– gas prices, food prices, housing prices, taxes– everything is getting more expensive, and wages or other sources of income just aren’t keeping up.

While we may worry about the current economic conditions, we need to step back and look at a different economy– God’s economy.

This weekend, I wrote out checks and paid bills. I even put some money in the offering at church. But God doesn’t look at the amount of money I paid or gave away, how much I spent or saved, earned or invested. He’s aware, of course, of such things, but God looks at a different “bottom line.” God cares how I spend or save money, whether it’s pennies or thousands of dollars. But He also cares how I spend my time and energy. And my life is “richer” than just the money in my bank account or the things in my house.

God doesn’t give us everything we want– He loves us too much for that. Life isn’t about having the most “toys;” it isn’t about having the easiest or most entertaining experiences. It isn’t about “winning” and having “more.”

I have noticed that the happiest people are often those who have had to struggle the hardest. In God’s economy, it is His pleasure to give more than we can ask or imagine– but often in ways we would never expect. (see Ephesians 3:20-21) In God’s economy, I am rich. Not because of anything that I have done, or earned, or because I was born to a wealthy family or because I won the lottery. I am rich because of what God has done. And if I am tempted to doubt that, I can begin listing all the blessings of God– and I will run out of space and time!

God has given me life. I didn’t choose to be born. I did not have the power to create myself. But God made me unique among all the people who have ever lived. He gave me a body, a mind, a soul, and a spirit. He gave me thoughts and dreams and opportunities to grow and enjoy life.

God gives me hope and purpose and a reason to live. Life can be difficult. It can be painful. It can be tempting to see only the darkness, the grief, the regrets. But it can be beautiful. It can be almost painfully beautiful, sometimes. What a gift. And what a gift God offers in each new day. A new chance to hope. A new chance to strive. A new chance to make a difference.

God has given me family and friends. And sometimes, that can be a struggle! We aren’t perfect, and we don’t always see eye to eye. We step on the toes or we step on the feelings of others. But we also make each other laugh. We make each other stronger. We help each other grow. We enrich the lives of others, and others enrich our lives in return.

God has given me His word– His promises; His love-letter; His wisdom; His counsel; His power to shape my story. And yours! The Bible is not just a collection of stories or words. It is Truth. It is Grace. It is how we can KNOW the riches God has for each of us.

God has given me His Salvation. No matter what today brings; no matter what has happened in my past– whether things I have done, or things that have been done to me–God sees me as His child. And if I believe in Him; if I trust Him to be who He says He is– my Father, my Savior, my Lord–He will throw my past and my guilt “as far as the east is from the west”(see Psalm 103:12). I am debt-free! And I will inherit all that God will share with His children throughout eternity!

And God has given my His Presence. I am never alone. I am never forsaken or forgotten. NEVER. (Hebrews 13:5) If I am sitting in despair on an ash heap, seeing no hope and no future, God is sitting there with me, waiting for me to see Him, and accept that He is more than “enough” to get me through.

And with such riches, I can follow God’s lead and be generous in return. I don’t have the power to give life, but I can celebrate it, advocate for it, protect it, and remind others of its beauty and promise.

I can encourage others– with acts of service, with a smile, by faithfully lifting them up in prayer. What if we thought about hugs as endowments? What if, in God’s economy, every hug you give is worth $2,000? What if every prayer is like investing in a bank account? What if your smile is worth a fortune to someone today? I can be a friend to someone who feels unseen or unheard. I can share a conversation with someone who feels lonely. I can share a burden for someone who just needs a helping hand.

I can share God’s promises. I can share His wisdom. I can share His compassion. I can share His Mercy and Grace with those who least expect or “deserve” it. I can share my hope and my joy. I can help someone look up and look beyond a bad day. And where there is suffering and pain– I can share that, too, knowing it is part of God’s good economy. And maybe, as I offer my presence, I can help someone else see the presence of God sitting there with us both!

You may not feel very rich today. And in this world’s economy, you may be in great need. God may not shower you with cash or assets in the present moment. But God has promised to give you everything you truly need for life and Godliness (2 Peter 1:3-4)

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Passing Gas

There once was a distinguished scholar and lecturer who was invited to be part of a symposium at a prestigious university. But during his time on stage, the professor realized that he was having a gas attack. Not wanting to embarrass himself by passing gas in front of the rest of the panel (and indeed the entire auditorium full of students) he politely asked to be excused to take a short break as the rest of the panel discussed a minor issue. He proudly excused himself, making it seem as though he was merely bored and wanted to stretch his legs a bit. Exiting the auditorium, he raced to the nearest bathroom and “let it rip,” not realizing that his portable microphone was still “hot.” The entire audience could hear, not only the gas he passed, but the other noises he made– of pain as the gas was passing, and of relief at the end of the attack. As he returned to his seat on stage, he was stunned to see people grinning and pointing, and hear stifled giggles as he rejoined the panel. Even his colleagues were finding it difficult to meet him with a straight face. Finally, the moderator asked, somewhat sarcastically, if the professor felt better after his break, and could be please be sure that his microphone was “turned back on…” As he finally realized what had happened, the professor was mortified, and barely spoke during the rest of the symposium. He left in a hurry, and it was many years before he agreed to visit that university again.

We may laugh at the downfall of the proud professor, but how often do we try to “pass gas” discreetly, pretending that we are “above” petty embarrassments and minor setbacks. As Christians, it is especially tempting to pretend that we “have it all together;” that because we follow Christ, we never struggle with pain, or niggling doubts, or unanswered questions. We sit in judgment on our neighbors because we do not stumble over the same sins that we see in them.

The world is watching. They pay close attention, not only to the sins we avoid, but to the sins we push aside or try to explain away. Sins like pride and gossip; sins like “bending the rules” and “fibbing.” It’s not that they don’t know about their own sins. In many cases, they are trapped in a cycle of guilt about their own sins, and their inability to escape the cycle on their own. Or they live in a web of lies about their lifestyles and habits– “I’m no worse than Him!” “God understands my weakness. He can’t condemn me for being the way He made me!” “God and I have a bargain. I don’t do X, and he’s ok that I do Y instead…”

But are we any “better?” “I don’t gossip. I ‘share’ prayer concerns.” “I’m a work in progress. God isn’t finished with me yet!” “King David told lies, and he was a ‘man after God’s own heart’!” “I’m not cheating on my taxes. You should hear my neighbor talk about what he’s done!” “I know I need to lose weight, but, well, there’s just more of me to love!” We are just as ready to find excuses for doing things we know to be wrong, unhealthy, unloving, and sinful, as our neighbor or our “enemy.”

Even more, we are tempted to pretend that we “have all the answers.” After all, if we trust God, how can we still have questions about pain or suffering or grief? We feel that admitting our weaknesses will expose us to ridicule, and that it may hurt our testimony.

That doesn’t mean that we should condone the sins of others, or that we should carry a load of shame over our own lapses. The point is that Jesus calls us to walk humbly and bring ALL our burdens to Him in prayer. Do I still struggle with my tongue–am I still spouting sarcastic retorts make me look smart, while putting others down? I need to submit that habit to the Lord. Does it bother me that my brother smokes or looks at porn? I should not condone such behavior, but it’s not my place to “make him” change his behavior. I should pray about it, and let him know I care about what these habits may be doing to his health and relationships. God doesn’t “hate” my neighbor who can’t seem to hold down a job, nags her husband and kids, and uses foul language– and neither should I! I shouldn’t encourage her bad behavior, but I should be willing to listen to her, show her compassion as someone Christ died to save, and offer her the same friendly helping hand I would be willing to give my other neighbors.

And I should be honest about my own limitations. God has saved me. I am His. But he didn’t save me because I had “cleaned up my act.” And he doesn’t reject me because I still don’t know all the answers or do all the “right” things. Instead, He guides me to be more like Him as I faithfully follow His ways, including confessing when I mess up. God is big enough to save me and re-shape my future in ways I can’t even imagine. I didn’t “win” my salvation. It is a gift– one that keeps on giving!

Being a Christian isn’t about acting “better” than those around us– though we should be walking in Jesus’ footsteps and living more like Him each day. It can be difficult, as the rest of the world may hold us to a higher standard. We will be judged more harshly than our neighbors who do not attempt to follow Christ. We will be accused of holding judgmental attitudes, even when we don’t display them. And we will find our standards and morals being maligned as “old-fashioned” or “snobbish” or even “hateful.” Not because they are any of those things, but because God’s standards (and anyone who agrees with them) offend those who rebel against them. And we still live in a fallen world, just like everyone else. We still wrestle with temptations, we still experience the consequences of sin– our own and others’–that make us sick, or weak, or poor, or otherwise look like “failure” to those around us. And it does no good to pretend that life isn’t sometimes difficult and painful–we’re not fooling anybody!

Instead, being a Christian is about “becoming” better than we can be without God’s Spirit living, moving, and acting THROUGH us. And a big part of that process involves “passing gas.” We need to let go of the sin and the “bad gas” that still builds up inside of us– pride, shame, stubbornness, laziness, envy, criticism, apathy, anger, bitterness, hatred, and so much more. And we need to acknowledge that our Salvation– now and through eternity– only comes through the finished work of Jesus Christ, not our own efforts. This process is called “Sanctification.” We are “saved” by Grace through Faith (see Ephesians 2:8-9). We cannot boast about having been saved. But we testify about our salvation by a changed nature, led by God’s spirit– a “new” compassion for those around us; a new delight in following God’s standards; a new humility about our own limitations, and a new joy for the way God can work through even our weaknesses to give us victory!

Ironically, passing gas is a necessary part of our bodily processes. If we don’t get rid of the “bad” gas, it will lead to bloating and actually poison us! Similarly, if we don’t acknowledge areas where we need to confess, continue in obedience, and submit our will to the Holy Spirit’s promptings, we will become bloated with our own self-importance, and poisoned by our self-deceptions.

So today, as I pass gas– as I surely will at some point– I hope that I will be convicted, and even amused, at how God uses the lowly things of this world for our benefit, and His Glory!

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Prayers That God Will Not Hear

We like to point out scripture that assures us that God will hear (and answer) our prayers. We like to remember God’s promises of blessing and peace and grace. And we tend to ignore or forget that there are some prayers that God has said He will not hear or answer.

God will not answer prayers that are selfish, or hypocritical. He will not answer prayers offered in pride, self-righteousness, or unbelief (see Luke 18:9-14, and Hebrews 11:6). He will not listen to prayers offered by those who oppress the poor, those who worship idols, or those who practice violence. And He will not listen to the prayers of those who reject Him, and remain in sin. https://www.gty.org/library/questions/QA160/does-god-answer-the-prayers-of-unbelievers (Please note: I don’t totally agree with the general conclusion here, but there are several great references for the individual points..)

Please note that God does not say that He will not answer prayer based on WHO a person is–God does not refuse to answer prayers based on a person’s age, nationality, gender, physical health, mental health, height, weight, social status, or any other label, including their past religious affiliation! This means that a sincere prayer of a person who is seeking God may be heard ahead of (or instead of) a prideful prayer of someone who claims to be a Christ-follower.

God is sovereign and omniscient– He knows what is in each heart, and He answers, not according to who we are, but according to who HE is. And just as He can separate our sins “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12), and “remember (our) sins no more”(Hebrews 8:12), He can choose not to hear prayers that are offered with wrong motives or offered in defiance of His sovereignty and holiness.

None of this takes away from the fact that God DOES hear and answer prayer…God LOVES to hear from anyone and everyone who seeks His face. Nothing external can separate you from His love. Come with your anger, questions, sorrows, pains, gratitude, hope; bring your failures, your fears, and your triumphs. But God, like a wise father, doesn’t suffer fools and fakers. Even if you can fool your neighbors, friends, family, or yourself, you cannot fool God. He doesn’t want a false narrative– He wants you as you really are. He wants you to acknowledge who He REALLY is. And He will listen with an everlasting love and compassion to all such prayers!

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A Walk Around the Block

I keep a prayer journal. I’ve written about it several times on this blog. I keep track of people and places to pray about every day of the year. But I also have a tool I call “Prayer Points.” Each day of the week, I like to focus on a different aspect of life around me. One day a week, I focus on family matters. Another day, I focus on finances. Yet another day is all about cultural influences. And one day is for community. When the weather allows, I love to take walks around my neighborhood. And as I walk, I think about how I can pray for my community. I pray for the local churches (including, but not limited to my home church). I pray for the local schools, our local community college, and our local day care facilities, and their influence over our children and grandchildren. I pray for our local businesses– the grocery stores, the insurance reps, the chiropractor’s office down the street, the local bakery, the museum across the tracks (the train station, while I’m at it). I pray for houses, parks, families and pets, trees and roads, too! I am amazed at how much I notice on my walks as I am thinking of ways to pray.

It’s winter in our area right now, so I can’t physically take a walk around the block without bundling up. But I can walk the perimeter of my small shop and mentally take a walk around the neighborhood, praying as I pace back and forth. I did this the other day, and couldn’t believe how quickly the time had passed! And next week, I can take another “walk” as I pray for gas stations, fast-food restaurants (as well as the local diners and bistros), the library, the post office, the hospital….

I post this, not as a model for everyone who reads this. Some people live in remote areas– where I grew up, there were only about seven houses and four fields on “my block”! And it may not be possible, or even safe to walk around your neighborhood praying for specific buildings. But mentally, we can each consider how to pray for “our” neighborhood. It may be your neighborhood at work, or on your commute, or at school. It may be the neighborhood of your closest village or your apartment complex or cul-de-sac. You may wish to draw a map to remind you to pray for those around you. You may be able to drive around periodically. You may wish to list your closest neighbors in a journal or planner.

It’s important for our prayers to be inclusive–to reach out and carry burdens for those around us. That doesn’t mean ignoring our own needs or concerns. But it can help put those needs in perspective. We are not meant to “do life” alone. We are part of our communities, whether we acknowledge it or not; whether we participate in community life or not. And that should find reflection in our pursuit of prayer.

Have you taken a walk around the block lately? Have you noticed situations around you that call for praise or petition? What are some of the ways you see God working in your neighborhood? How would you like to see more of God’s hand at work there? In what ways might God be calling you to become more involved in community activities or one-on-one with your neighbors?

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Unspoken

What does it mean when someone says they have an “unspoken” prayer request? If you are new to Christianity or to prayer, this can seem confusing. Aren’t we supposed to present our requests to the Father? Aren’t we supposed to pray for one another? How can we ask someone to pray for us, and then hold back on giving a reason? Is that “cheating” somehow?

There are several reasons why someone may ask for “unspoken” prayer, and there is no reason why we should not pray just as fervently for an unspoken request. So why would someone be reluctant or even unable to speak their request?

  • Sometimes, they are passing along a request from another. Someone has shared a burden, and it seems too large for just one or two people. But the original request was not shared publicly, nor did the sharer give permission to share details in a group. It is important to honor the other person’s attempt to avoid gossip and oversharing.
  • Sometimes, the request involves a delicate personal situation– an unsaved spouse, an aging parent facing financial difficulties, etc.– and the details of a request might cause unnecessary pain or shame to another, or strain an already tenuous relationship.
  • Sometimes, the person asking for prayer cannot put their request into words. They know there is a problem, but they may not fully understand what they need or even want. Sometimes, a sudden change throws them into turmoil. Other times, an unrecognized problem has been looming, and they are taken by surprise. Sometimes, there are multiple issues and layers of issues that can’t be explained easily.
  • Sometimes, the person is ashamed of asking. They may feel like a failure for even asking. It may be an issue they thought they had overcome, and they are reluctant to admit that it isn’t resolved. They may not be ready to confess a secret sin, but they know they need help.

Whatever the reason, we should always be willing to pray, especially when asked to do so. But how can I pray for someone who won’t or can’t tell me what they need? 

In many ways it is the same– If I know that “Sue” is battling cancer, I am still praying to the same God as I am for “Janet” who can’t tell me about her recent diagnosis or her ongoing battle with a wayward teenage daughter. Yes, I can be more specific in my prayer for Sue, but I can still lift up Janet as someone who needs God’s care, protection, and encouragement. I can acknowledge that God loves both women, and that God is the only one who can meet their needs. I can praise God that HE knows all; that He is sovereign over all, and that He cares about Sue and Janet (and Me) far more than I can understand. 

What are some practical guidelines when praying for “unspoken” requests?

  • Honor the other person’s privacy. Don’t try to drag a confession or sordid details from someone who is already struggling to share their need for prayer. Your “need to know” all the details is less than another person’s need for earnest encouragement, compassion, and support.
  • Concentrate on the basics— don’t try to “guess” at specifics. Pray for their general health, well-being, growth, encouragement, and strength to persevere. If you know of an ongoing situation, don’t get bogged down on praying for just that issue. Use this opportunity to uphold your friend or neighbor, brother or sister in loving prayer, not intense scrutiny.

  • Do not cast judgment. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “should” be more open or share more details. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “really” needs your prayer. We all know people who “overshare,” and we all know people who seem addicted to drama. We all know other people who never open up or seem independent and self-contained. Their “unspoken” requests are still “real” requests– even if they are making the third one this week. Lift up your sister or brother with love, not exasperation or comparison with anyone else. Remember, you would not want someone else dissecting your life trying to decide if your prayer requests are “worth” their time.
  • Thank God for the opportunity to join God in loving others! If someone is asking for your prayer, it generally means that they respect and trust you to respond. God is giving you a unique and wonderful opportunity to join in His work! Prayer of this type is not a burden or an obligation. It should be a joyful experience.
  • Follow up. Let the other person know that you are praying for them. If possible, pray with them, remembering that this is not an opportunity to pry, poke, or condescend, but to uplift, encourage, and invite God to act! If you get the opportunity to do so, check in with the other person in a few days or a week, to let them know you are still praying.
  • Use this opportunity to build your relationship. ”In what other ways can I be praying for you?” ”Is there anything I can do for you?” Don’t make a fuss. They may (even probably will) say no. Don’t pry about details, but offer practical assistance, as well as prayer, whenever possible.

I try to use this model whenever I get an “unspoken” request– whether in person, as part of a prayer chain, or scrolling through social media. EVERY request is an opportunity. EVERY request deserves my eager and faithful response.

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With the Poor, and Mean, and Lowly..

During this season, many of us spend time decorating–we add lights, candles, sparkling ornaments, and fragrant trees–we make our houses and yards festive and bright. And it is appropriate to do so, as we are preparing to celebrate the Light of the World, and the joy of Immanuel– God With Us.

But it is also good to remember that God did not enter a world cleaned up, decorated, adorned, and prepared for Him. Jesus was born in a stable. Angels celebrated; prophets dreamed; the faithful waited and watched; but the rest of the world was distracted by a census, crowded streets, rude and grumpy neighbors, taxes, cold nights and endless bad news. There was no Advent preparation for Jesus’ birth– no candles or Christmas carols, no glittering lights or shiny tinsel, no shopping sprees or holiday parties. In fact, Jesus arrived in a world that was much like what we see on the news– chaotic, messy, frustrated, angry, and sad.

This season, some of us will put up elaborate mangers with beautiful figurines–robed Wise Men, earnest Shepherds, and the Holy Family; a few animals, and an angel or two– all clean and shiny and serene. In reality, it was likely crowded, noisy, dirty, smelly, and cold. The Shepherds and Wise Men were not there at the same time, and the angels were not present at the stable.

It seems obvious to say, but it’s important to remind ourselves that Jesus himself never celebrated Christmas. He never sang carols about His own birth; He never counted down the days on an Advent Calendar; He never decorated a Christmas Tree, or enjoyed a plate of Christmas cookies. Instead, He spent His life among the poor, the mean, and the lowly. He entered the lives of beggars and lepers and outcasts–and He brought light into their world. The Lord of all creation, who created galaxies of glittering stars, who commanded armies of angelic hosts–walked on dusty roads and had no home to decorate. He fed the hungry, healed the sick, and showed compassion to those who were possessed by demons.

This Advent season, as we decorate and prepare our homes for a warm and merry Christmas, may we remember to live among the poor, the mean, and the lowly. This year, it may seem difficult, but it is not impossible to share hope and joy with those who need it so desperately. May we prepare our hearts as well as our hearths to accept the Light of the World. And may we reflect it into the world around us– more than ever!

Holy God, you came in humility and compassion. You lived to serve, and you died to save. Show me how to love and serve in this season of darkness and fear, just as You did so long ago, that those living in darkness may experience more than just holiday tinsel and glitter. Amen.

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Jesus Wept

It is the shortest verse in the entire Bible– St. John 11:35:  “Jesus wept.”  Only two words.  They are easily memorized; they are also easily overlooked or misrepresented.  Jesus wept over the death of his good friend Lazarus.

Read the story of Lazarus here.

Jesus wept–Emmanuel felt deep emotion and showed it.  God shed tears over the pain and sadness of a death; Messiah cried for the loss of his good friend.  Jesus was no stranger to sadness and loss– God understands the sharp sting of death.  God is compassionate, not heartless or cruel.  If we are in emotional turmoil, it is not because God doesn’t know our pain or doesn’t care.  He hurts WITH us in our times of deepest need.

girl in pink jacket on wooden bridge in the forest

Jesus wept–People often ask the rhetorical question, “What would Jesus do?” when faced with a situation.  Here is an example of what Jesus did– he wept.  Sometimes, the “thing to do” is to acknowledge the reality of our situation–death hurts.  It brings out feelings of anger and even fear.  Death is scary.  It’s ugly, and it fills us with a sense of injustice, and a desire to wake up and find that death is just a very bad dream.  Aching loss, wracking sobs, feeling punched in the gut by circumstances– these are valid feelings and reactions.  To pretend otherwise or to deny ourselves or others the right to express those feelings does great harm, just as wallowing in sadness and remaining isolated in our grief can drag us into hopeless depression.

Jesus wept– period.  He didn’t punch a wall or point fingers at Mary and Martha for “letting” their brother die.  He didn’t try to justify his extra-long stay that kept him from arriving before his friend died.  Neither did he justify returning to a region where he was not “safe” from the authorities in order to comfort the sisters (and ultimately raise Lazarus back to life).  People often criticize Christians for “not doing enough” to erase hunger, cure diseases, or end poverty in the world.  Some even point out that Jesus, being God incarnate, had the power to do all of this during his earthly ministry.  But he didn’t.  As he was dying, he said, “It is finished.”  He wasn’t referring to some social revolution or economic program, or political movement that would abolish the oppression of the Roman Empire, or the corruption of the Pharisees, or end the slave trade.  That doesn’t mean that God approves of evil, corruption, and injustice.

But it means that Jesus’s mission was accomplished through what he did in life and through his sacrificial death.  He loved freely, healed those who were willing, and taught about the true character of his Heavenly Father.  He ate, and laughed, and slept; he burped and sweat, and cried.  He prayed and worshiped and worked and gave.  Jesus didn’t weep because he had no power to keep Lazarus from dying.  He proved that just minutes later.

person holding hand

Jesus wept because he was showing us the very heart of God.  God’s heart is not to flex his sovereign muscles and demand our instant and abject obedience– though he has the perfect authority and right to do so.  His heart is to walk intimately with us, even when that walk goes through the very valley of the shadow of death!  God’s love isn’t flinty and cold.  It isn’t pushy and arrogant and selfish.  It is extravagant and gracious beyond all imagination.  It is raw agony and pure joy. It doesn’t immediately “fix” our hurts or answer all our questions, but it wraps around us even IN our pain, and it give us hope to endure and carry on.

man hugging a woman wearing black tank top

What in your life causes you to weep?  What burdens and aches and frustrations and questions drive you to tears?  Jesus may not take away what hurts us, but he will never turn us away because we are scarred or scared or broken.  He will share our burdens, wipe our eyes, and hold us as we pour out our tears.

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Miss Whitcomb

When I was in seventh grade, I had a teacher named Miss Whitcomb. She was notorious throughout the school system as the “toughest” teacher we would ever have. She was ruthless. She demanded absolute quiet, she did not grade “on a curve,” and she never smiled. She had an ongoing war with grape-flavored chewing gum and students who were three seconds late for class. She gave impossible assignments and offered little in the way of help, comfort, or guidance. She had a point system for behavior, and most students ended up earning detentions. Everyone dreaded her class. Many normally confident and competent students failed her class. They worried themselves into sleepless nights and second-guessing their own abilities.

I suffered through two years of Miss Whitcomb’s classes. I had her for American History, English, and introductory drafting class. She was exacting and frustrating. But I learned a lot. Her assignments often seemed impossible, but some of them were creative as well as challenging. I never learned to love Miss Whitcomb’s class, but I learned to survive it– and, while I can’t say I learned to like her, I learned to respect her.

Years later, I returned to my home town as a teacher. And Miss Whitcomb was my colleague. A new generation of students were suffering under Miss Whitcomb’s impossible demands, and many were sure they could petition the school administration to get her fired. They came to me seeking support. I wouldn’t give it. I told them I remembered how difficult her classes were, but that I felt that it was important that they experience tough teachers, like Miss Whitcomb, because they would often experience tough bosses or professors, and tough situations as adults; learning to survive Miss Whitcomb’s class would give them practice for tough times in the future. And I suggested that they look at her classes as a challenge to be faced, rather than a punishment to be feared.

I had a difficult time understanding why Miss Whitcomb was so “tough.” But I got an insight from an unexpected event. A group of high school students were going on a field trip to see the hit musical, “Les Miserables” at a local university theater. They needed chaperones, and I agreed to come, as it was a wonderful chance to see a national touring company perform a terrific play. Surprisingly, Miss Whitcomb also came as a chaperone. I never thought of musicals as “her thing,” but she had decided to give it a try. Of course, the students were terrified of her, and she ended up sitting on the far side of the group (but it was a much quieter ride up to the campus!)

The play was magnificent, but Miss Whitcomb was very disturbed by it. The next day, she tackled the teacher who had organized the trip to complain. Her complaint was not with the students or the performers. It was about the story itself! She was somewhat familiar with the novel’s plot, but seeing it “live,” she was bothered by the character of Javert, and his pursuit of the main character, Jean Valjean. In the story, Javert has spent the better part of 25 years tracking Valjean, an escaped convict. When he finally finds him, Valjean ends up saving his life. Javert cannot reconcile that the “criminal” he has been looking for– his enemy– has saved him. Miss Whitcomb so identified with Javert, that she found the story untenable.

Why was she so upset? Because Javert was “righteous.” He represented the law. His quest was legal–his foe, Valjean, HAD escaped from prison. He had every “right” to pursue him and force him to complete his extra sentence (Valjean had completed his original term). But Javert was the one, in the end, who needed to be saved. And Valjean, who had every reason to let Javert die, risked his life to save his arch-enemy. This was not how Miss Whitcomb viewed life. The righteous should be the saviors; the guilty should be punished, not celebrated. Miss Whitcomb understood right and wrong– but she had no room for grace or forgiveness.

There is a Bible verse that has always caused me to be curious. Romans 5:8 is well known– “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” But Romans 5:7 says, “Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.” (emphasis added) Paul is making a distinction that Jesus also often made–not everyone who is “righteous” is “good.” In Mark 10, Jesus is asked by a rich young ruler what he must do to inherit eternal life. The young man calls Jesus, “good teacher.” But before Jesus answers the question, he turns it back on the young man. “‘Why do you call me good,’ Jesus asked. ‘Only God is truly good” (v. 18). The rich young ruler does not want to know how to become “good.” He does not want to learn from Jesus. He merely wants to be judged as “good enough” to inherit eternal life. And he believes that he is “righteous” enough to have earned it.

Miss Whitcomb was a dedicated teacher. She was a “righteous” educator. But she never learned (or was able to teach) compassion, humility, or mercy. And that was a lesson her students missed. It is a lesson far greater than knowing U.S. History, or Government, or English grammar. I have heard from some of her adult education students that she was far less harsh with them. I hope this is true. She had a lot to give, and she suffered greatly from her own high standards and lack of compassion in relation to her younger students. I believe she had “good” intentions– that she believed her high standards were “right” and that any show of mercy was a weakness. But she missed out on so much– so many students who might have liked her better, and learned more from her–by putting righteousness ahead of mercy.

Photo by Ivan Samkov on Pexels.com

We serve a God who is BOTH– completely HOLY and Good, and Righteous, as well as merciful, gracious and compassionate. God forgives us without lowering His standards. He sent His Son to save us– While we were yet sinners! Romans 5 continues, “ Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!” (Romans 5:9-10) We don’t have to be terrified of God. We don’t have to be constantly reminded of our past guilt and shame. We don’t have to fear that we will “fail” to please God if we choose to follow Him.

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