Push and Pull and Prayer

Many years ago, I watched the movie, Dr. Doolittle. (This was the old version with Rex Harrison, long before Eddie Murphy or Robert Downey Jr. starred in the more recent remakes.) I can still remember the wonder of seeing a “Pushmi Pullyu– a quirky, mythical-type creature that looked like a conjoined llama. It had two heads and two sets of front legs pointing in opposite directions. If one half of the creature wanted to run forward, the other half would have to try to run backward. It was large, awkward, timid, but rather useless for working, herding, etc.

Then, last week, as I was entering the ladies’ rest room at church, I was astonished to find it opening with only the lightest of touches. Just as I tried to push open the door, someone on the other side was pulling it open on her end. Both of us commented on how easily the door swung open as I pushed and she pulled at the same time. We didn’t plan it– we couldn’t see the other person helping us along– but the result was worthy of remark.

There are many things in life that have a push and pull element, including prayer. When we push and pull in opposite directions, awkwardness, complications, and chaos can be the result. How many times have I prayed very specifically for a desired result, only to find that MY will, MY timing, and MY wisdom is NOT the same as God’s?! God still hears– and answers– my prayers. But my expectations and desires cause me to be frustrated and even ungrateful for God’s response. Instead of seeing His protection and provision, I see only delay or denial. I’m trying to push God in one direction as He pulls me in another!

How much easier when I pray for God’s will to be done “on earth as it is in Heaven!” (Matthew 6:10) When I truly push in God’s direction, doors open and peace wraps around me like a comfortable blanket. I may not “see” God’s actions on the other side of the door, but I can sense His presence in a remarkable way!

The same is true when asking for prayer from others. Sometimes, we refuse to ask for help or prayer– maybe we’re too proud; maybe we are too ashamed to admit our weakness or need; maybe we just isolate or withdraw. At other times, we may ask for help (or offer help) that is contrary to what we (or others) really need. I remember one friend from college who would consistently ask for advice, only to come up with dozens of excuses why she couldn’t (or wouldn’t) follow any of it! And I’ve been there, too!

Praying with and for others is a great privilege and responsibility. It is not enough to simply listen to a quick request or make an offhand promise to “pray about it” later. It is important to listen carefully, show compassion, and pray according to Scripture and God’s will. Showing compassion may involve asking questions, getting some background about the circumstances, offering practical help, or stopping to pray WITH the person NOW as well as praying later.

Thankfully, prayer is not meant to be like a Pushmi-Pullyu. God designed prayer to be much more than a means of asking for help. And His power is designed to help us become “more than conquerors” (Romans 8:37). In fact, the Apostle Paul reminds us that God is “able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us” (Ephesians 3:20)

November 17, 2025 0

Green Eggs and Prayer?

Have you ever read the Dr. Seuss classic, “Green Eggs and Ham”? In this early childhood reader, the narrator (nameless) is accosted by an enthusiastic character named Sam (Sam I Am), who wants him to try a dish called green eggs and ham. But the narrator refuses. Sam keeps offering, but the narrator continues to refuse, saying he does not like green eggs and ham, and will not try them under a variety of circumstances (in a box, with a fox, on a train, in the rain, etc..) offered by the optimistic Sam.

Finally, Sam’s persistence wears down the narrator’s resistance, and he agrees to try the dish. To his surprise, he LOVES them. In his newfound enthusiasm, he declares he WILL eat them in a box, with a fox, in a tree, in a boat, with a goat, on a train, in the rain, here or there…in fact, he WILL eat them anywhere! He ends by thanking Sam.

So what does a children’s book have to do with prayer?

Well, I believe that the pursuit of prayer as an integral part of living a Christ-like lifestyle is kind of like green eggs and ham. Most people who dismiss the power of prayer have never really pursued it. They have seen it, heard about it– maybe even gotten a whiff of it. They may have “sampled” prayer many years ago as a child or in a single moment of desperation. And the result was disappointment or confusion. Prayer didn’t solve all their problems in an instant. They didn’t get the miracle they hoped for. They didn’t get the bike for Christmas. Their neighbor’s leukemia wasn’t cured. Their situation at work got even worse. Their wife still left and filed for divorce. “Prayer” left a bad taste in their mouth. And they have heard others dismiss prayer and faith as obsolete, ignorant practices, designed for backward and unenlightened people. Like the slightly nauseating color of green eggs and ham, prayer has been deemed unappetizing and best avoided.

And now, when someone mentions a lifestyle of prayer– when someone talks about praying as a daily habit, or a natural part of their worship–the reaction is scorn and suspicion. Prayer doesn’t look powerful. It doesn’t look appetizing. How can something so simple and tame have any effect? Why is the world still suffering so much injustice and evil if there are people out there praying every day? And why do Christians (and others with a prayer tradition) cling to prayer as though it will solve life’s problems?

But prayer, like eggs, can have a bad reputation. For years, we were told that eggs were awful for you– high in protein, yes, but also high in cholesterol, and likely to contribute to diabetes and colon cancer. Recent studies contradict each other, but many now say that eggs are actually good for you. Similarly, during times of crises or disasters, prayer is often derided as inactive and ineffective, and we get mixed messages about people who offer to pray for victims and their families.

Recently, I was challenged about my pursuit of prayer. What good does my prayer do in the face of injustice and disease, death and suffering that people experience? Why do I pray to a God that allows bad things to happen? I have been challenged before, and my answer remains the same. I pray because I have known the peace that comes from trusting God’s wisdom, HIS timing, and His Love for each of us. I don’t have answers for all the “what-ifs” or the “whys.” But I continue to trust that God DOES! And daily prayer is not about “me,” or my questions or what I wish for. It’s about communing with the God who has been faithful all my life and continues to be faithful in every season. The God I love, and the God who knows the end from the beginning.

So what if more of us prayed daily– not just as a reaction to disasters– but pro-actively? What if we prayed, not in anger or bitterness, not transactionally, expecting a particular outcome, but with gratitude for who God is, what He has already done, and what He will choose to do in His loving sovereignty? What if we prayed with open minds and hearts, trusting that we are talking to a God who loves us and knows what is best, not just in the temporary, but in the eternal scope of our lives? We would still see evil in this fallen world, but what if our prayers DO make a difference– we just don’t see the whole scope of what God has provided, or the evil He has NOT allowed to touch us?

I speak as one who has pursued prayer for more than half a century. I’m not perfect. Sometimes, I get frustrated when my desires don’t align with God’s answers. But that’s not the fault of Prayer. Prayer DOES change things– maybe not instantly, and maybe not in the ways I imagine in the short term– but I have seen and experienced the power of prayer. I have felt it in my own life, and I have seen in in studying history and talking to people whose lives were radically transformed by their prayers and the prayers of others.

Philippians 4: 6 says: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” After this, Paul promises in verses 7 and 8 “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” (taken from the King James Bible online).

In every situation, we can pray. So, to paraphrase Sam I Am, I WILL pray here and there! I will pray most anywhere (except I won’t close my eyes if I am driving!) So to end:

“I’ll be praying in a boat,
I could be praying with a goat.
I may be praying in the rain.
Or in the dark. Or on a train.

And in a car (eyes open of course). And in a tree.
Because Prayer, it is so good, you see!

So I would still pray in a box.
And I would still pray with a fox.
I will pray inside my house.
And I will pray beside a mouse.

And I will write “Pursuing Prayer”
Because I serve a Lord who Cares!

What if we all had the same enthusiasm for prayer as Sam had about Green Eggs and Ham? What if we keep praying “without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and with confidence (1 John 5:14-15) each day?

“Try it! Try it!”

You’ll be so glad you did.

August 18, 2025 0

Victory!

Today is May 8th. Historically, this is known as V-E Day, or Victory in Europe Day. On this day, in 1945, the German forces surrendered, ending World War 2 in Europe. Parades and parties broke out in several cities. People celebrated the end of war and the promise of peace. But the war was NOT over– not for everyone. War continued to rage in the Pacific for several months. Prisoners in concentration camps were still being liberated, many of whom had lost their homes and families. And the devastation across Europe and North Africa would take decades to clean up. Millions were still facing food rationing and homelessness; there were unexploded bombs and land mines, craters and ruins–all was not suddenly peaceful and prosperous.

The events of V-E Day happened years before I was born. But my parents and grandparents remembered it well. And as someone who loves history, I look back on events of the past and ask, “What can I learn from this day?”

Today, I want to look at what “victory” looks like. Not the thrilling victory of winning a race, or the victory of one army over another in a past century, but true “victory”–an end to all war and struggle and pain and uncertainty. What will that look like?!

In my life, I have experienced small victories, and victories that seem large in the moment. Graduation ceremonies, job promotions, signing the papers on a new car or house, saying “yes!” when David proposed, and later celebrating our marriage with friends and relatives at our reception…These were all moments of celebration and victory. But like the victory of V-E Day, there was still work to do, challenges to face, and even difficulties and set-backs that clouded each victory. Even my greatest Victory– coming to faith and knowing my name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life– is in the “here and now.” I still face trials and temptations in this life, even though I can claim victory over Sin and Death through the work of Jesus Christ. But true “Victory” is in the “not yet.”

It can be tempting, when celebrating our earthly victories, to get caught up in the momentary feelings of success and happiness. But what happens on May 9? What happens after the parade? What happens when we face the next challenge? I find myself too often disappointed with the fleeting nature of my victories in life. And in the disappointment, I lose not only the joy of the victory, but the strength of the promise of victories yet to come!

There is a day coming– one that will make V-E Day pale in comparison! Some day, the forces of Evil will be utterly crushed. It will be total surrender. No occupying forces, no rationing or homelessness, and no more death or destruction for those who have trusted in Christ. Just sweet Victory. In a moment; in the blink of an eye, God will say, “ENOUGH!” The war will end. The suffering will end. The waiting will end. The dead will rise and the living will be changed.

I can only imagine what that day will truly be like. But I can live with the certainty of a coming day of “Victory.” I can know the hope and the joy of each small victory today, as it reminds me that there is much more to come!

Thank you, Jesus, for each small victory today. Thank you for the ultimate Victory that I find in You!

May 8, 2024 0

May Day Mishaps

Today is the first of May– May Day. May Day has a long history, with pagan origins tied to the celebration of late spring or early summer. In many European nations, there would be dancing around a May Pole, or May bush, floral garlands, and floral bouquets offered at various shrines, including to the Virgin Mary. In some communities, girls vied to be crowned the “May Queen,” while stories were told of fairies. May Day was popular in the United States for many years around the turn of the 20th century– with parades, flower baskets, and more. It is less popular in modern times, and many of the floral parades and festive outings take place around Memorial Day, instead.

When I was a child in elementary school, we made paper “flowers” and a small paper coronet with a loop handle for May Day. I remember making daffodils, hyacinths, and tulips out of construction paper and other craft materials, and making the coronet “baskets” out of decorated paper cones. We glued or stapled the pieces together to take home. Then, we were encouraged to loop the handle over the door knob at the front door of our house when we got home, knock, and run and hide around the corner. Presumably, our mothers or babysitters would see the gift of flowers and wonder who could have left them there. It was a fun game to play, and a way to celebrate the season of wonderful spring flowers.

Unfortunately, when we did this in kindergarten, my flowers got trampled on the bus. It was a rainy day, and my flowers fell in the aisle, where a boy stepped on them with muddy sneakers. They were ruined. I cried and cried, and another boy on the bus gave me the flowers he had made. It was a thoughtful gesture– one I’ve never forgotten– but I remained desolate. I told my mother the whole sordid story, and she told me that, in her day, they had picked wildflowers, such as violets and even clovers, and tied them with a string to leave on someone’s porch. Then she took me outside, and we made a small bunch of violets with a couple of “Dutchman’s Breeches.” I didn’t get to surprise her, but we had such fun looking for wildflowers together.

I loved this game so much, I decided to go a step further the next year. We made paper “bouquets” at school, just like the previous year. Mine stayed clean and dry, and I hung it on the doorknob and mom pretended to be surprised. But later, I took one of our juice glasses from the cupboard, and picked a nice bunch of my mom’s live daffodils and hyacinths, a couple of her irises, and a tulip. I tried to arrange them in the juice glass, but it was too short and small to hold all the flowers I had picked. I left it on the porch, near the door, and knocked and hid, waiting to see my mom’s delight at her “surprise” bouquet. But instead of delight, I heard her wail– “Oh, no! My flowers!” The glass had tipped over, the flowers lay limply all over the porch, and the glass had rolled onto the ground. I thought I had made a wonderful surprise. Instead, I had made a mess. I had picked almost all of Mom’s best daffodils, and all of her pink hyacinths. I had trampled some of her other irises to get to the one I wanted. She only had a few tulips, and I had picked the only red one.

My intentions were good, but my execution was poor. And the result was disappointing and hurtful to us both. Mom didn’t realize I was right around the corner hearing her dismay, and I didn’t realize my “gift” would fall so flat.

It’s been over 50 years since my “May Day Mishap,” but there are some lessons I have never forgotten:

Picked flowers die! Mom wasn’t angry with me for wanting to pick flowers, but she knew that picked flowers would wilt and die. In later years, Mom loved receiving hanging flower baskets, and planters with live flowers. And we had many memories of planting live annuals in the front yard or at graves near Memorial Day– flowers that might take root and spread joy throughout the summer months. In the same way, there are so many “showy” projects that vie for our attention– projects that may seem urgent or offer quick rewards like status or money. We are tempted to “pick” projects that will make us look good or feel good in the moment. But the really important projects are those that have lasting impact, even if they don’t “show” as well. We are wise to invest in “little” things that have lasting impact over “big” but fleeting activities and investments.
When giving gifts, it really is the thought that counts! My mom was just as delighted by the “second-hand” flowers I got from my classmate as she was by the the ones I made the next year. Not because his were “better” than mine, but because they demonstrated that I had a good friend at school with a kind heart. My “mishap” gift came, in part, because I wanted to give a “better” gift, not because I wanted to delight my mom, but I wanted to impress her. My mom was a saver– she saved all my old school papers, old valentines, birthday cards, and more. And she saved letters from her friends and family– over eighty years of them! Not because the cards and letters themselves were so wonderful, but because each one came with good wishes. She had an entire farmhouse of good wishes and thoughtful memories when she passed away in 2023.
Relationships are more important and more valuable than resources. I loved looking for wildflowers with my Mom that year of kindergarten. It’s one of my favorite memories of May Day. And I still remember the kindness of my friend, Ken, whose heart has since led him to the mission field on more than one occasion. No May Day flowers will last over fifty years, but friendships and relationships can and do!
Forgiveness is sweeter than flowers. I was so astonished to think that my error in judgment had caused my mother pain– and yet, when she found me, she hugged me tight and gently offered both forgiveness and correction. She demonstrated exactly the way our Father loves us. So often, I want to come to God with a bouquet of praise, or a basket of good works, leave it before His Throne and run away and hide. But God isn’t impressed by my flowers or my grand gestures. He wants to spend time with ME. Every year, he sends fields of wild flowers; in every season of life He sends friends, helpers, and other blessings. And, more than anything, He wants to share all of it with me. Not because I deserve it, but because He is so full of love and forgiveness. He wants to remind me to “come home” to His gracious arms. He is not waiting to scold me, punish me, or make me feel small. He wants to hug me, and with patience and gentleness, He will offer His Love, and correction. No matter what “May Day Mishaps” I may have.

This May Day, I am encouraged by God’s faithfulness, His forgiveness, and the power of His love. I hope you are, too!

May 1, 2024 0

I’m a Believer!

When I was much younger, I was a huge fan of the Monkees. I loved their TV show, and their songs. One of my favorites was called “I’m a Believer!” It’s a catchy tune about instant infatuation– “Then I saw her face; now I’m a believer!”

YouTube video of “I’m a Believer!” (Written by Neil Diamond; performed by The Monkees)

Years after it was a hit song on the radio, it was used in the soundtrack of the movie “Shrek!”, where it found another generation of listeners. The tune is over fifty years old now, but I still think the tune is catchy, and I love to sing along when I get the chance. However, when I hear the phrase “I’m a Believer!” it means something immeasurably more than just a great pop hit..

It can be very easy to fall into the thinking behind this song. We all are looking for something positive to believe in– Love, music, friendship, success, religion. We all want to be believers in “something” beyond the mundane and the present. And we want a belief that will uplift us, sustain us, and make us want to sing along.

But singing about belief and having a real, sustaining Faith are not the same. The singer of the song claims that he wouldn’t leave– couldn’t leave– the object of his affection. Yet most infatuations are temporary. This love hasn’t matured and been tested by hardship and trials. We can feel good about new “love” in the moment, but we can also be disappointed and betrayed by it. Believing in romance and happily-ever-after can make us feel like singing, but the feeling cannot sustain us through grief and pain. Songs and movies may have a sappy, happy ending, but real life is a struggle.

Faith– real faith in a real and Loving God–is different. We may still be inspired to sing and worship, but we will also be inspired to serve and persevere in good times and bad. It brings strength and lasting peace. And it doesn’t depend on seeing God’s face– it is knowing that He is present, even in the darkest moments; knowing that our lives are in His hands, in spite of our circumstances or surroundings. True faith doesn’t even depend on the strength of our will to believe. It will survive momentary doubts and struggles, until there is “no doubt in my mind” that can triumph! And we can rest assured that God will keep HIS promise never to leave us. That’s what brings me hope and joy when I say, “I’m a Believer!”

It’s fun to sing along with The Monkees, or dance along with the characters in Shrek, but genuine Faith sounds more like this:

October 2, 2023 0

Promises to Keep

The month of June is “Anniversary Month” in much of my family. My parents and one set of grandparents were all married on June 1st. My brother and sister both celebrate anniversaries next week, as does my one of my brothers-in-law. Marriage is in trouble in our society– many marriages are ending in divorce, while others are choosing to wait longer before making a commitment or choosing not to marry at all.

We tend to celebrate marriage as being all about feelings of love, but marriage is really about making and keeping promises. Two people stand before witnesses and take sacred oaths to be faithful, to love, honor, and cherish (and yipes! sometimes even to obey) one another for the rest of their lives. And most people who take such oaths do so with honest intent. Why, then, does it seem to be failing so often?

Photo by Asad Photo Maldives on Pexels.com

One of the reasons has to do with expectations. We expect the same giddy feelings of delight we have during courtship to carry us dreamily into the future. And we expect that the way we act during courtship will be the norm– the “happily ever after” fairy-tale life of story books and romance novels. We expect that we will always be the same as we are now: young, carefree, beautiful/handsome, and eager to please and be pleased by the boy/girl of our dreams… This is unrealistic. And even when we say we know better, we hang on to unrealistic expectations for our relationships, just as we do for other situations and circumstances. Even our “soulmates” can disappoint us, fail to understand us, suffer failures and setbacks, battle depression or addiction, lose their youth and good health, and even question their feelings for us.

Another related issue is that we usually take vows when we are young and our future looks bright. Circumstances can change; plans can fail. War, disease, financial ruin, the loss or miscarriage of a child or children, forced changes in living arrangements or work schedules– all can put enormous stress on a marriage.

But not all marriages crumble under the weight of unusual or unexpected circumstances. Some seem to erode slowly, even under “good” circumstances. Why?

One reason I’ve seen as I look around is a seeming inability to make and keep small promises. We make big, broad promises at a wedding– “for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health..” “’til death us do part…” But we don’t promise to forgive him when he leaves the toilet seat up for the fifth time this week, or wait for her while she tries on every one of the six outfits she can’t decide on for the upcoming class reunion. We don’t promise to compromise on which family we will visit for Christmas each year, or what color we will have in the dining room. We think of marriage as a series of negotiations (which it IS), but ones in which one of us “wins” and the other “loses.” And if we consider that we are the “loser” in enough negotiations, we feel entitled to “break” our little promises.

Almost two years ago, my husband suffered an injury at work. He “punctured” his leg–the injury wasn’t huge, but it was deep, and on the back side of the leg, where he couldn’t see it. He knew it hurt, but thought it would heal up. Instead, it became infected. We had to go to the local wound clinic for several months, but between visits, I had to change the dressings, wash the wound, apply the various antibiotics and salves, redress the wound, etc.. David was still working full time, so the dressings would sometimes get sweaty and dirty on top of everything else. I promised to be faithful “in sickness and in health”– and that included washing out the pus-filled wound and caring for the pus-soaked dressings; it included wrapping his leg every other night for weeks. We went through hundreds of yards of gauze and anti-stick dressings, tubes of several different antibiotic salves, special compression socks, etc. Hundreds of dollars and hours later, his leg is slowly getting back to “normal.” During this same period, I was diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes. David has had to be patient with me as I learn to eat (and cook) differently. He has had to help me with glucose testing, dealing with low-sugar episodes, and put up with mood swings (even more than normal!).

And our health odyssey could be much worse– what about those who have to deal with cancer or dementia? But I think sometimes we minimize the commitment needed for the smaller, chronic conditions. The stress may be smaller, but it piles up, just the same. Our promises need to hold in the daily crises– big and small. And our promises need to hold when there is no crisis– and no adventure, either. Many marriages fall victim to “smooth sailing.” Things settle into a routine, and promises that were made to sustain the marriage in the face of “richer or poorer” fall apart in the settled comfort of middle class complacency. Vows take for “better or worse” fall apart in the “blah” and boredom of “good enough.”

Marriage is designed to be a picture of our relationship with Christ. As Christians, we are the “bride” of Christ! But we may need to review our vows and our commitment. Christ is eternally faithful; are we? In our flesh and our frail humanity, we cannot remain faithful on our own. But where are we? Have we lost our first love? Are we committed to Christ even in the midst of chronic illness or small setbacks? Are we flirting with the world because we have become “bored” with our Christian Walk? Has our joy been eroded by our failure to share our little stresses and secret sins with the Lover of our Soul?

Often, when we take a moment to remember our wedding day, we are reminded of the commitments we made, and the joy we felt on that special day. It can be bittersweet, if we have let circumstances or feelings pull us away from the one we love (or if they have moved away from their commitment). But it can be a wake-up call, as well, reminding us that promises made and promises kept are what leads to long-term joy and security. It can be helpful to take a few moments (or more) every once in awhile to remember when we came to Christ, and be reminded of the commitment we made– and the promises He has kept!

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah+31&version=ESV

Read Jeremiah 31 for more about God’s “marriage” covenant with Israel

https://www.openbible.info/topics/the_bride_of_christ

Use the link above to read more about marriage in the context of Christ and the Church

June 2, 2023 0

Anticipation…

Yesterday was the first Sunday of Advent. Four weeks later, we will have Christmas Day. For some, the time will pass in a frenzy of shopping and wrapping– the time will fly by! For some, the time will pass in meditation and reflection– it may seem to crawl. For some, the time will pass with no difference from any other time of year. For most of us, there is a sense of anticipation…we are waiting for something: the “Christmas Spirit,” the festivals and events, the time spent with loved ones far and near…

Christmas, more than any other day, brings this sense of expectation. We sing songs, listen to stories, reach out to friends and neighbors– all in anticipation of a single day. And sometimes, the anticipation and expectation exceed the realities of the day. We feel disappointed in the gifts, or the weather, or the circumstances. But our anticipation shouldn’t be about the single day on the calendar. Christmas is so much more than just a day, or even just the “spirit” of the day.

We don’t know the actual, historical day when Christ entered human history as a baby. As the Gospel of John relates– “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word WAS God.” (John 1:1) But this Word, this Only Begotten Son of the Father, this second person of the Trinity, DID enter human history as a member of the human race. He came and dwelt among us, His creation. He walked and talked, ate and slept, worked and wept, lived and died as a man. The Lord of All Creation tasted freshly baked bread and felt the first raindrops of Springtime. The King of the Universe wiggled His toes in the sand, and wiped sweat from His brow. The Lamb of God shared belly-laughs with His friends over a shared joke. The Lion of Judah wept over the death of His friend. The Author of Life knew what it was to die, abandoned and betrayed.

None of this is anticipation for us, as it was for the prophets of old. It is history. Christ has already come. He already lived a life of compassion and grace, wonder and weariness, agony and anticipation, and, most of all, Love. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that Whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting Life.” John 3:16 Christmas for us is not about anticipating Christ’s arrival. Christmas is the celebration of what that arrival means for us all these years later and forevermore. And we can celebrate all the wonder of Christ on any day of the calendar year. But there IS real anticipation at Christmas– the anticipation of Eternal Life and Christ’s triumphant return. Just like the prophets waited and wondered, we wait in Hope of a glorious reunion.

Christmas, December 25, 2022, may be a disappointing day–it may be dreary, gloomy, lonely, or disappointing in its circumstances. It may bring us bad news, or heartache. But it will also bring us another opportunity to rejoice– to rise above whatever circumstance brings to focus our thoughts forward and upward, where Christ, who once came as a baby, now reigns and rules and waits– anticipating the same reunion that brings us hope and healing.

November 28, 2022 0

The “Curse” of Proverbs 31

If you are a woman who has grown up “in the church,” you are probably familiar with Proverbs 31. It is the chapter about a virtuous woman. She is the role-model that is held up for young girls and older women alike. And she is, like Mary Poppins, “practically perfect in every way.” She gets up before the sun, stays up late into the night–always busy, always productive; she never slows down. She never has a bad hair day, never loses her temper, never forgets to pack a lunch or fold the laundry. She never nags, never scolds, never pouts, and never has to raise her voice.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

It helps that she has serving girls to do her bidding, and has her own business. She appears to be independently wealthy and active, yet she has time to raise children who “rise up and call her blessed,” and satisfy her husband, who “lacks nothing of value.”

I would love to say that I am just like that woman. Most days, however, I feel nothing like her. I don’t have money to buy a new field. I don’t get up before the sun and my hands are not eager to work. I don’t make and sell linen garments. No one is running around calling me “blessed” or singing my praises… I can never measure up to this woman. I feel cursed.

But a closer reading of this chapter makes me think again.

While the woman described in this chapter is a model to emulate, she is not the norm. Nor is she the standard to which I must adhere to “earn” my way into God’s good graces. Indeed, God’s Mercy is the richer and His Grace more precious for knowing that I cannot “measure up.”

Instead of using Proverbs 31 to beat myself up for not being perfect (or using it to discourage or intimidate others), I need to learn from it. Here are a few things I’m hanging on to as I read through it this week:

“She brings him (her husband) good, not harm…” (v. 12) What are some ways I can bring good, not harm, into my home and marriage? How can I listen more, nag, less, be more available, and otherwise show love and care? I won’t be perfect, but I can look for ways to improve!
“She works with eager hands..” (v. 13) “She sets about her work vigorously…”(v. 17) I may not be spinning wool or flax in the early light; I may not have serving girls to order, but I have hands and work to do throughout the day. How can I do a better job of seeing chores as opportunities, rather than oppression and drudgery? How can I bring a greater sense of purpose to my tasks? I may not have serving girls, but I have appliances–am I “ordering” them properly by taking care of them, instead of just taking them for granted? And am I grateful for their help?
“She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy…” (v. 20) What can I do to “give” more–donate, volunteer, provide hospitality and encouragement? How can I keep in mind that during various seasons of life the “poor” and “needy” may be in my own home and family–children or grandchildren needing nourishment and discipline; parents needing care and support…How can I be more available to those outside of my home, or during my work hours? Can I send an e-mail or make a call to offer encouragement? Can I share a recipe with a friend, or invite them to come with me shopping or to church? Can I make time to pray with a neighbor? Can I clean out a closet and donate clothes or linens?
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue..” (v. 26) What a challenge!? What is “on my tongue?” Gossip? Criticism? Complaining? Idle chatter? Do I speak too much? Do I remain silent when I could offer needed instruction, encouragement, or correction? Do I speak with gentleness and compassion? With conviction and truth?

“…she does not eat the bread of idleness..”(v27). Ouch! Everyone needs to rest– even the seemingly indefatigable woman of Proverbs 31! But am I becoming “fat” on leisure time? How much time to I waste on distractions and entertainment that could be put to better use?
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised..” (v30) I may strive to be an “accomplished” woman– someone who is poised, talented, successful in business and society, with a picture-perfect house and garden, children on the dean’s list or the winning sports team; I can be will-traveled and well-educated, someone who seems to “have it all”–and still NOT be a woman of noble character. God isn’t impressed by my clothes or my achievements; He doesn’t give me credit for being “better” than my next door neighbor, or having the best kitchen on the block; God will not love me any more for being more successful or productive than anyone else. If my house is cluttered, my hair is untame-able, my kids have public melt-downs, and I don’t belong to the “in” club; if my business fails, my car is rusty (or I don’t have one), and my husband and I wear second-hand clothes, God still sees my heart. I can still be a woman who fears, trusts, and serves the Lord– one who is loved, accepted, and even “praised” by the One who matters most!
Finally, I can Pray to become a woman/wife of noble character (v.10), striving for good habits, rather than fretting over and wallowing in bad ones. I can trust God’s willingness and ability to transform my life and my attitudes. In fact, I am reminded of a seemingly unrelated portion of scripture from Philippians:

^8-9Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.
Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message)

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

I need to spend less of my time worrying about getting things “done”, than getting them done God’s way! I don’t need to fear the “curse” of Proverbs 31– failure to measure up to a model– instead, I need to see the opportunity to become a woman after God’s own heart– one who accepts God’s help and wisdom to become the woman HE wants me to be. I pray that God will give me the chance to develop–and help others–today and each new day.

August 19, 2022 0

“Wait For It…”

Movies and television shows are breeding grounds for popular phrases that enter the culture and resonate with millions of people. Just utter the phrase, and nearly everyone in the group “gets” the reference. A recent American sitcom has made the phrase “Wait for it..” an iconic reference to comedic timing. It’s often the anticipation of a punchline, a pratfall, an ironic twist, that makes it memorable or noteworthy, and a clever person will use the timing to maximize the humor in a joke or prank.

We have an innate desire to see “what happens” next in life– “Where will I be in five years?” “Will I get the job?” “When will the baby come?” “Will she say ‘Yes’?” “Will the tests come back negative?” The last thing we want at such times is a clever, smug comedian sitting back and using our anticipation for his own entertainment.

man wearing black zip up hooded jacket facing camera — Photo by Jou00e3o Jesus on Pexels.com

Often, the wait is exciting, short-lived, and rewarded with relief in the form of a pleasant outcome–She does say, “Yes!”; or the medical test comes back with good news. Sometimes, the anticipation of the “punch line” produces shared laughter. But sometimes, it seems that the “joke” is on us– the wait never seems to end, or the punch line comes with a gut-wrenching punch–we didn’t get the job; the baby comes too early; the plans and the hard work end in disaster and shame.

Some people imagine God sitting in Heaven, smug and distant, pointing at us and laughing, “Wait for it..” Every time they face disappointment, frustration, oppression, they raise their fists to Heaven and blame their creator for everything they haven’t gotten, every missed opportunity, every setback, every heartache. “If God really loved me, he would not let me be hurt/sad/poor…”

woman working girl sitting — Photo by Alexander Dummer on Pexels.com

But, when God says “Wait for it…”, he’s not talking about a punchline or an ironic twist of fate. He knows that bad things will happen, but he’s not asking us to wait for those things. And he certainly isn’t sitting back laughing at our pain and disappointment. He’s asking us to wait for something better. Something we cannot even begin to imagine. A restoration of all things– the dead brought back to life, the sick completely healed, the love we long for lavishly poured out in its fullness.

Anticipation is not part of a joke; hope is not corny or naive– it is built into the very soul of each person. We long for what we have never experienced, but what we know is “out there”. In this world, we will be left anticipating, because NOTHING can measure up to what God has in store. Even the best of relationships, the best of comforts, the best of experiences, will leave us wanting something more. And this is a gift, even though it can leave us disappointed, restless, and even hurt. In light of what’s coming, there is no loss or setback so great as to cancel out the hope and the promise that stirs within.

man architecture london kings cross — Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

It’s because of this that we can pray with confidence in the midst of our struggles, and with abandon in times of frustration and pain. We live in the finished work of the cross, but the unfinished and ongoing work of renewal and restoration.

Wait for it..

August 3, 2022 0

A Hope That Does Not Disappoint

Have you ever had your hopes dashed? Have you even been disappointed in something that (or someone who) seemed to promise such hope?

In Romans 5:5, the Apostle Paul speaks of a “hope that does not disappoint” us– the hope that comes through the Love of God as poured out by the Holy Spirit. Yet, we still have times of disappointment, dashed dreams, and painful grieving. So what is Paul talking about?

Well, in context, he is speaking about the hope of our eternal salvation– we can have complete confidence in Christ’s finished work in obtaining our salvation and peace with God. While we may have doubts about many things in life, we need never doubt God’s promised salvation. But that does not mean that God has promised us an earthly life without disappointments, struggles, grief, or pain.

Sometimes, when we pray, we bring certain expectations– “hopes”– that God will act in the way we desire. We pray for miraculous healings, or an end to financial struggles, or finding the “perfect” spouse. God never promises any of these things. In fact, Jesus promised His disciples that “in this world, you will have trouble” (John 16:33)! But He goes on to say, “take heart, for I have overcome the world.” When our prayers seem to go unanswered, or God seems deaf to our desires, we can feel disappointed, even resentful. Our loved one dies. Our marriage falls apart. We lose our job, or our home.

It can be difficult in the moment, but we need to take stock of what it means to “hope.” If we put our hope in earthly things– even wonderful things–we WILL be disappointed at some point. People get sick and die. They make mistakes. Houses crumble, or face destruction by fire or storm. Relationships –no matter how much we may work at them–can fall apart. Our own bodies and our own wisdom can betray us. Circumstances cannot provide a secure base for our hopes. That doesn’t mean that we can’t cherish dreams and aspirations, but Hope must be based on something sure and eternal.

When we pray, we can bring all or our expectations, aspirations, dreams, and more– but our Hope must not be anchored in the circumstantial answers we want. We will face bitterness in our disappointment. But when our Hope is rooted in the God who keeps His promises, we will see beyond the temporary disappointments in our circumstances, and find that Hope will endure and sustain us THROUGH them.

People will disappoint; circumstances will let us down; expectations will deceive us. But Hope remains and sustains. We can pray, not with fear or doubt, but with confidence that God will hear us, and give us what we need most to face even our worst disappointments. After all, He promises that they are temporary in light of His eternal Love and Care.

And what a wonderful Hope on which to anchor!

July 25, 2022 0

Tag: disappointment