Tag: estates

The Power of Pictures

When my Mom died back in February, she left a house full of memories, and also a house full of papers and empty containers, old clothes and books, and worn furniture and broken appliances. Mom was a hoarder, and it has taken months to begin sorting through all that Mom treasured. Yesterday, I was sorting through a tub of old photos. Mom took thousands of photos over the years, and we gathered up over 25 tubs of them. They are in random order, so one group of photos may be from the late sixties, while the next might have been taken just a few years ago.

It’s been both frustrating and entertaining to go through batches of photos. Seeing my face at age 6 with missing front teeth; seeing my nephew holding his newborn daughter; seeing my Dad in his work uniform; seeing long-lost relatives when they were both alive and younger than I am now! It can be jarring. I found a photo of my favorite pair of sneakers from childhood– they were bright yellow with black stripes and white treads. I loved those sneakers and I finally wore them out. But there they were, staring up at me from an old photo– brand new– and I felt the same sense of excitement I had when I was 10 years old. I also found an old photo of a cousin who recently passed away. There she was, fifty years younger at a family reunion, a young mother with two sons (another son and daughter were yet to be born!) It was a sharp stab to know how much her family is grieving right now. And yet, it was a beautiful reminder that she is NOT gone; she is raised to life, and grief will be turned to joy as we have an eternal “Family Reunion” in heaven!


Mom took a lot of wonderful pictures that mean so much to us now. But Mom also took a lot of “dud” pictures– pictures that were out of focus; pictures of old clothes, or faded flowers. Several pictures of the same thing from different angles. Pictures of people eating–their mouths wide open and gaping angrily. There are no labels telling why such pictures were taken, or what they might mean. Years later, they leave us confused and frustrated– and ready to throw them out!

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. And I have been living that lately, as I sort through old memories. But the pictures are reminding me of other memories– other “pictures” that are even more powerful.

God reveals Himself to us in so many ways– and in so many “pictures.” The Bible is full of parables, metaphors, proverbs, and histories that provide us with word pictures of His character. In Genesis, we read the story of Abraham and Isaac, which illustrates the great sacrifice God would make for our Salvation. Abraham was willing to give his son– the son God had promised– believing that God could raise him from the dead. Isaac didn’t die. He didn’t even know what was coming. But Jesus DID. God’s promises never fail. Unlike Isaac, Jesus KNEW what awaited Him at Calvary. He knew there would be no last-minute, substitute ram. HE was the lamb who would be slain. And He would rise victorious!

In Exodus, God provides another parallel; another word picture to show what He would do. He sent ten plagues on Egypt to prove His power, both to the Egyptians AND to the nation of Israel. But the tenth plague was much more than just a display of power. It was a metaphor for the Cross. In order to escape the Angel of Death, the Israelites were to use hyssop and the blood of the Passover lamb to “paint” the top and sides of their doorframes. Using the hyssop, they “whipped” blood onto the wooden doorframe, causing it to “bleed”– at the top, and on each side. The blood would drip down, creating a similar pattern to the blood on the cross–blood from the wounds on Jesus’ head and outstretched hands. There would even be a pool of blood on the ground, suggesting where His feet would be nailed to a wooden cross. It is a stark picture– a gruesome picture of pain and suffering. But it is a powerful picture that shows us how Jesus’ pain and suffering led to our Salvation. Death holds no power over the Cross! We can rest, knowing that God’s plan is for our rescue, not our destruction.

In the New Testament, Jesus used metaphors and explained how ancient stories foretold His arrival, as well as His death and resurrection. He used the story of Jonah to explain that He would be in the grave for three days. He used the prophets to remind His listeners of God’s many promises. His disciples recorded the stories. The Apostles continued to use the ancient scriptures to “show” that Jesus was the Messiah and that His life and death fulfilled the promises and prophecies.

Time after time, Jesus told parables– stories that were meant to “show” the character of His Father. And WE are also meant to reflect Our Father to the world! WE are to be pictures of God’s Love, His Grace and Mercy, His Faithfulness, and His Holiness. Whatever we do, wherever we go today, we WILL be like a photograph, showing others who we are inside– what we value, what we believe, who we trust, how we love and how we live. We can be powerful witnesses to God’s Love by the way we go about our daily activities. But we can also be “duds”– pictures of people pursuing worthless activities, or looking at the world from a dozen skewed perspectives.

I pray that my “photo” today will reflect God’s character, challenge assumptions, encourage others, and stir powerful reactions for HIS Glory!

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What We Keep…

I’ve been posting a lot lately about going through my Mom’s “stuff.” Mom was a saver– a pack rat– a hoarder, really. She kept boxes and piles of useless things. But she also kept things that have value to those she left behind. My siblings and I have found old photographs, momentos, letters, documents, etc., that bring the past alive again..not just our past, but our family roots going back generations.

My mother with her mom and younger sister c. 1944

What prompts us to keep such memories; to hold tightly to faded papers, worn objects, shadows of days gone by? Sometimes, it is an unhealthy focus on past memories– good and bad– that keep us in the grip of “glory days” or old and festering wounds. But there IS a value to keeping a record of the past.

When I was young, we had dozens of books around the house, including Bible Story books. The stories of Abraham and Sarah, Isaac, Moses, Samson and Samuel, King David, Queen Esther, Elijah, and then Jesus, his disciples, the Apostle Paul…they were mesmerizing– and very instructive! God didn’t just give us Ten Commandments and a list of rules to follow. He left us with a rich tapestry of stories of real people, and their very real adventures. He has given us Parables, and Psalms, Prophets and Promises– the Bible is a living book that speaks to each new generation with timeless truths. I learned about the Faithfulness of God, His Holiness, and His Mercy in those pages.

The stories and photos that get passed down in families can also be instructive. I now have a baby picture of the grandfather I never got to meet, as well as a photo of him as a young man, and another candid shot of him wearing a milk bucket on his head (He was a dairy farmer)! I can see and sense his humor and love of family in new ways, and appreciate the way his life and early death helped shaped my own dad’s life. I have letters my great-grandparents wrote to each other when they were first married and starting their family. I have some of Mom’s letters when she was struggling as a single mother on a limited income. Many of these items I will keep–not only as a reminder of the past that shaped me, but to pass on to future generations. Other photos, letters, and objects have been given to certain other family members– it is part of the legacy THEY will pass on. Still other items I will let go– they have served their purpose and other items will take their place.

The little country church I attended as a child.

It has been tempting, with the amount of “stuff” that my Mom kept, to just throw everything out. Much of it has to be cleaned off, sorted, identified– and room must be found to keep it! So I also have to look around at what I have been hanging on to, and ask, “Why?” What lessons to I want to pass on? What objects tell an instructive story about my life? What impact will I have on others in the years to come?

One of the most difficult things to go through are the photos and letters my Mother kept. She kept nearly every letter and greeting card she ever received. They meant that much to her. Not the actual cards and paper– the thoughts, the love and connection–the people they represent were her greatest treasures on this earth. And I can’t keep them all. I don’t have space, and many of the people are strangers to me– her elementary classmates, co-workers from years gone by, great-aunts–people long since dead and, with my mom’s passing, forgotten by most. But I will keep some, because they are a testament to Mom’s love of others– her deep and abiding love for everyone who touched her life, and allowed her to touch theirs. I have thrown out, recycled, or given away many of Mom’s clothes and books, and I’m working to give away the thousands of unused greeting cards she had stockpiled but never sent. But most of all, I will keep the stories– stories of God’s faithfulness in her life; stories of how He worked in and through her life to touch hundreds of others; stories of how God’s Love blooms in the simple acts of kindness and baby steps of Faith; in the ordinary joys and tears and minor miracles of daily life.

And I will hold tightly to the stories of my childhood– of Moses and the Burning Bush; of Jesus the Good Shepherd; of David trusting God to face Goliath; of the women finding an empty tomb on the first Easter Morning. One of the pictures I inherited is a print of Jesus on the Road to Emmaus. Two men are walking along, talking to a third man. Such a simple act. Such an ordinary occurrence. But this is no ordinary walk– the man in the middle is the Risen Christ–the One who conquered death to bring eternal life to the two unsuspecting travelers. The print hangs on my wall now. The print itself is not of much material value– but the story! That is worth my life– to keep, to share, to cherish, to proclaim to those yet to come!

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What to Throw Away…

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also

Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)

When my mom died earlier this year, she left a house filled with “stuff.” Mom saved EVERYTHING! She saved old calendars, expired drivers’ licenses, used peanut butter jars, all her children’s baby clothes and shoes, graduation and wedding invitations, Christmas Cards, broken cameras, and so much more. She owned a seven-bedroom farmhouse, but she lived for many years in just a few square feet in four different rooms. She slept on half a twin mattress; the other half was covered with boxes. She ate on just a patch of her kitchen table; the rest was piled over with papers and “stuff.” There was a narrow path through the dining room to the bathroom and bedroom. Mom was a hoarder.

Mom was also stubbornly independent, and refused to get rid of things or have others help her throw things away. It contributed to her falling and breaking her hip, and later falling and breaking her leg. We eventually persuaded her to move to assisted living and later to a small house that she could navigate safely. But she would not sell the old house or let us throw away her “treasures.”

Shortly before she died, Mom gave us permission to begin the difficult task of “going through” her house. She joked that we would all hate her after she died and we had to finish the task. We joked back that we would never be able to finish in our own lifetimes! Mom knew that she should have thrown things away. But she had chosen to live surrounded by the memories of broken toys and yellowed letters of yesterday.

Well, the house is almost empty. We decided to sell it, and had to clean it out so it could be shown. The bulk of the work fell to my brother and his wife. They are retired, and they live closest to the old house. But even so, it has taken months, and tons of sweat, to find the floors and walls and windows that were covered and blocked by “stuff.” There are still a few pieces of furniture and some items in the basement, but hundreds of boxes, bags, crates, and containers had to be taken to my brother’s house, my house, my sister’s house, donation centers, recycling centers, and, sadly, to the dump.

We had very few “things” left from my father. His family had lived through a house fire when he was a young man, and he learned early that even precious things cannot be saved. He tried to throw things out; Mom would “rescue” some from the trash and bring them back in! He saved a few momentos, mostly photos, and when he died, he was no longer there to advise Mom about what must be put in the trash. But even his “stuff” was hidden among worthless old shoes and dishes and old boxes.

My Mom DID have several treasures– at least to us. She had saved school papers from our childhood, birth and baptism certificates, photos, my dad’s old work uniform, my grandfather’s Navy cap, afghans and doilies my grandmother made, and several worn and tattered Bibles she had so faithfully studied over the years. And Mom was generous in her own way– she sent out thousands of greeting cards and gave wonderful and thoughtful gifts to her many friends and family members. But she kept broken things, rusty and dusty things, used-up things, and things that were useless. And the hardest part of sorting through over 20,000 square feet of “stuff” was finding and determining what to keep and what to throw away.

Life is a lot like that house full of “stuff. It is full of memories, experiences, hopes, dreams, guilt, fears, relationships, emotions, and disappointments. And we have to make choices about what to treasure and what to throw away. Here are some guidelines I’ve learned through my recent experience:

  • Treasure the lesson– throw away the bitterness.
  • Keep the memories– throw away the t-shirt.
  • Save the relationship– throw away the anger.
  • Keep the recipe– throw away the container/magazine it came with.
  • Eat the chocolate–but throw away the fancy box it came in.
  • Throw away the broken dishes, the worn towels, and the pot without a handle.
  • Treasure the stories– trash the dusty, musty books (Yes, that’s coming from a librarian!)
  • Don’t just worth on appearance alone–DON’T throw away an opportunity to show kindness where it is least expected and most needed. There may be treasure among the rubbish!
  • Use the stationery you got for Christmas–throw away the wrapping paper.
  • Throw away last year’s calendar– those days are gone. Make space for this year.
  • Keep your promises–let go of your disappointments.
  • Hold your dreams loosely– be ready to accept what IS as a gift; what WILL BE as a mystery.
  • Treasure the empty spaces in your house and in your life– throw away the extra baggage.
  • Keep space for new blessings–pass the old blessings on to others.
  • Things can never take the place of time spent with the people you love. I appreciate some of the things Mom left behind, but the real treasure was the wisdom she imparted, the laughter and tears we shared over the years, and the faith she lived out as she loved others.

Mom’s joke about us hating her after she was gone– that didn’t happen. And our joking prediction was wrong, too. It was frustrating to go through everything; it was hard work and it might not have been necessary if Mom had chosen differently. But it wasn’t wasted work. We still have dozens of boxes to sort through, but I am finding small miracles and memories (and lessons!) in each one. Mom may not have been able to judge what she should throw away, but she did know what to keep above all!

I hope I am learning what to throw away, as well as what to give away and what to keep. Mostly, I hope I am learning to let go of the things that might prevent me from accepting better things. God will not always take away the things that hold us back, or bury us in the past. But He asks us to store up our treasure, not in a house or a storage barn, or a safe deposit box, but with Him! Things will break, rust, rot, and be lost. Feelings and thoughts can keep us trapped in the past, and blind to the present and future. But God’s gifts– Faith, Hope, Love, Peace, Patience, Discipline, Forgiveness–these last forever, and never lose their value!

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Lord, I’m Tired

This past month has been tiring for me. I’ve been clearing out two “estates.” My mother died at the end of last month. She was a hoarder– she saved everything, and it was kept in piles and drawers and closets. My brother, sister, and I (and our families) must sort through all the “junk” to find things of importance or value, and decide how to share it, dispose of it, or give it away. Old books, old clothes, old papers– some have sentimental or material value. Others have been exposed to mildew or they’ve been torn or damaged or stained. Mom had a big house, and she had lived there for over 60 years, so the piles are tall, deep, and everywhere!

At the same time, we had a loss in my husband’s family that required that we clean out the family homestead. This home had been in the family for over 5 generations, and included a farm and workshop, complete with machinery, vehicles, and furniture that had to be removed in less than 30 days! While not as cluttered with old papers and clothes, this estate included bigger, bulkier items, often covered with grit, grime, oil, and dirt.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

We had to finish up with the old homestead earlier this week. And we are exhausted. I have found it difficult to concentrate on this blog, on Bible study, on personal prayer time, and just getting “normal” things done around the house. I’m sore, I’m trying to fight off an early Spring cold, and I’m mentally and emotionally drained.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

BUT

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

God has sent wonderful reminders of His comfort, His strength, His peace, and His care in the past few weeks. My prayers may have been hurried or shortened lately, but I can FEEL the prayers of others on our behalf. As tired as we have been lately, we have also been blessed. Wonderful family (even under difficult and trying circumstances!), kind and helpful friends, unexpected (and much needed) resources–God has not left us to face this season alone.

It is not God’s will or His plan that we should exhaust ourselves. That doesn’t mean that He won’t allow us to travel through periods of stress, work, grief, pain, or even temporary exhaustion. Jesus himself stayed in the wilderness for 40 days without food. He was exhausted and hungry when Satan tried to tempt Him to turn His back on the Father. Satan’s temptations are no different today. He tempts us with empty promises of ease and rest– IF we depend on someone or something other than God! He tempts us with the idea of fame and fortune– IF we abandon God’s provision and His purposes. He tempts us with immediate solutions–IF we stop waiting on the Lord to come to our rescue.

The Test

4 1-3 Next Jesus was taken into the wild by the Spirit for the Test. The Devil was ready to give it. Jesus prepared for the Test by fasting forty days and forty nights. That left him, of course, in a state of extreme hunger, which the Devil took advantage of in the first test: “Since you are God’s Son, speak the word that will turn these stones into loaves of bread.”

4 Jesus answered by quoting Deuteronomy: “It takes more than bread to stay alive. It takes a steady stream of words from God’s mouth.”

5-6 For the second test the Devil took him to the Holy City. He sat him on top of the Temple and said, “Since you are God’s Son, jump.” The Devil goaded him by quoting Psalm 91: “He has placed you in the care of angels. They will catch you so that you won’t so much as stub your toe on a stone.”

7 Jesus countered with another citation from Deuteronomy: “Don’t you dare test the Lord your God.”

8-9 For the third test, the Devil took him to the peak of a huge mountain. He gestured expansively, pointing out all the earth’s kingdoms, how glorious they all were. Then he said, “They’re yours—lock, stock, and barrel. Just go down on your knees and worship me, and they’re yours.”

10 Jesus’ refusal was curt: “Beat it, Satan!” He backed his rebuke with a third quotation from Deuteronomy: “Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness.”

11 The Test was over. The Devil left. And in his place, angels! Angels came and took care of Jesus’ needs.

Matthew 4:1-11 (The Message)

I’m tired today. But God knows better than I do how to give me rest, how to “recharge my batteries,” and how to guide me through the days ahead. I don’t think God is “testing” me in the same way He allowed Jesus to be tested. But I think He has allowed me to experience a season that is testing me. Will I keep looking for Jesus in my weariness and grief? Will I be tempted to find my rest in someone or something other than Him? Will I recognize the resources and help He sends during this time? One of the things He has provided is this blog– a chance for me to stop, reflect on, and write about what’s going on. I’m tired, but I’m also being held in God’s Almighty and capable hands. God has provided helpers, counselors, friends, and family to lean on, and who can lean on me in turn. God has laid out His promises for a bright future and eternal Joy, Peace, and Rest. God has given me a moment to reflect on His Goodness! Now, back to work for today!

AMEN!

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