“I Would Prefer Not To..”

Years ago, our high school class read a classic short story by the American author, Herman Melville. Bartleby the Scrivener tells the story of an unusual clerk– one who begins as a good worker, efficient and conscientious, but ends up dying in prison, hopeless, ruined, and broken. His tragic downward spiral begins one day when the lawyer for whom he works asks him to examine a short document. This is a commonplace request, much like asking a writer to proofread her final draft before submitting it to the editor. However, Bartleby responds by saying “I would prefer not to.” The startled lawyer decides not to force the issue, and gives the task to someone else.

Bartleby’s refusal to do what is expected of him escalates until he no longer does ANY work. He refuses to work, refuses to leave the office, and refuses to eat. He isn’t angry or violent, but he remains defiant until the very end.

So it is with us when we are living in sin and rebellion against God. It may start out small– some little habit or attitude. We know it is wrong, but instead of obeying God’s word, we calmly say, “I would prefer not to…” not to tell the truth, not to turn away from porn, not to help my neighbor, not to agree with God about my behavior.

8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
⁹He will not always chide,
    nor will he keep his anger forever.
¹⁰He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
¹²as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:6-12 (ESV)

God is patient. He is gracious and kind. He does not treat us as our offenses deserve. He gives us the chance to repent. He offers forgiveness. But every time we say to God, “I would prefer not to,” we get a little more like Bartleby– isolating ourselves, wasting our potential to be all that God created us to be, growing more defiant and more rebellious, until we waste away into a prison of our own making, and, finally, death.

One of the things that makes Melville’s story so disturbing is that the narrator keeps trying to explain away Bartleby’s defiance–perhaps he is having trouble with his eyesight and doesn’t want to admit it; perhaps he was traumatized at a previous job; maybe there is a reason for his passive aggression. But in all of his attempts to understand, the narrator cannot save Bartleby from prison and death.

Understanding sin cannot change us. Excusing sin does nothing to stop its consequences (see Romans 6:23). No one killed Bartleby, yet he died because he “would prefer not to” do the things he needed to do to live. His small act of defiance, which starts out singular and almost heroic (after all, who wouldn’t like to tell the boss, “I would prefer not to,” every once in awhile?), sounds innocuous. Such a little thing to refuse. Surely God would not punish us for so small a thing…until one small thing leads to another…and another; a bigger rebellion; a numbing complacency; loss of perspective; a heart of stone; isolation; starvation; imprisonment; death.

What am I refusing to do for God today? What am I refusing to give up? Refusing to admit? Refusing to listen to? Am I excusing myself? Do I tell myself I am not in rebellion because I have been polite in my refusal to obey? Do I comfort myself that my rebellion is really just a matter of “preference,” and will not be consequential? That God’s Holiness is less important than my comfort or convenience?

Many people coast through life in the belief that God is SO merciful and SO loving that He can’t also be Holy and Just– that His commands are really suggestions; that His wrath is mythical; that our own wisdom is sufficient for living a “good” life and pleasing Him. But God isn’t concerned about whether we live a “good” life– He wants us to have an abundant life– filled with joy and peace, love and relationship, both now and forevermore. In fact, He would “prefer not to” punish us. He is not “willing” (i.e. desirous) that any should perish (2 Peter 3:9), but that everyone would some to repentance. That doesn’t mean that He won’t punish those who refuse to obey Him, or those who refuse to turn from their rebellion and trust Him; only that He will continue to give us the opportunity to recognize our need for forgiveness.

¹⁰If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. ¹¹These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.¹²“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. ¹³Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command you. ¹⁵No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
John 15:10-15 ESV– taken from biblegateway.com

God has made it possible for us to be more than servants. We don’t have to respond to God as Bartleby responded to his boss– though God has the ultimate authority to demand our loyalty and obedience. Through Jesus, we are sons and daughters and friends! When God gives us commands, like “Love one another,” they are still commands. But His heart is that we should trust that all of His commands are righteous, life-giving, and in our eternal best interest. But some of us are still saying, “I would prefer not to.”

October 7, 2024 0

Passing Gas

There once was a distinguished scholar and lecturer who was invited to be part of a symposium at a prestigious university. But during his time on stage, the professor realized that he was having a gas attack. Not wanting to embarrass himself by passing gas in front of the rest of the panel (and indeed the entire auditorium full of students) he politely asked to be excused to take a short break as the rest of the panel discussed a minor issue. He proudly excused himself, making it seem as though he was merely bored and wanted to stretch his legs a bit. Exiting the auditorium, he raced to the nearest bathroom and “let it rip,” not realizing that his portable microphone was still “hot.” The entire audience could hear, not only the gas he passed, but the other noises he made– of pain as the gas was passing, and of relief at the end of the attack. As he returned to his seat on stage, he was stunned to see people grinning and pointing, and hear stifled giggles as he rejoined the panel. Even his colleagues were finding it difficult to meet him with a straight face. Finally, the moderator asked, somewhat sarcastically, if the professor felt better after his break, and could be please be sure that his microphone was “turned back on…” As he finally realized what had happened, the professor was mortified, and barely spoke during the rest of the symposium. He left in a hurry, and it was many years before he agreed to visit that university again.

We may laugh at the downfall of the proud professor, but how often do we try to “pass gas” discreetly, pretending that we are “above” petty embarrassments and minor setbacks. As Christians, it is especially tempting to pretend that we “have it all together;” that because we follow Christ, we never struggle with pain, or niggling doubts, or unanswered questions. We sit in judgment on our neighbors because we do not stumble over the same sins that we see in them.

The world is watching. They pay close attention, not only to the sins we avoid, but to the sins we push aside or try to explain away. Sins like pride and gossip; sins like “bending the rules” and “fibbing.” It’s not that they don’t know about their own sins. In many cases, they are trapped in a cycle of guilt about their own sins, and their inability to escape the cycle on their own. Or they live in a web of lies about their lifestyles and habits– “I’m no worse than Him!” “God understands my weakness. He can’t condemn me for being the way He made me!” “God and I have a bargain. I don’t do X, and he’s ok that I do Y instead…”

But are we any “better?” “I don’t gossip. I ‘share’ prayer concerns.” “I’m a work in progress. God isn’t finished with me yet!” “King David told lies, and he was a ‘man after God’s own heart’!” “I’m not cheating on my taxes. You should hear my neighbor talk about what he’s done!” “I know I need to lose weight, but, well, there’s just more of me to love!” We are just as ready to find excuses for doing things we know to be wrong, unhealthy, unloving, and sinful, as our neighbor or our “enemy.”

Even more, we are tempted to pretend that we “have all the answers.” After all, if we trust God, how can we still have questions about pain or suffering or grief? We feel that admitting our weaknesses will expose us to ridicule, and that it may hurt our testimony.

That doesn’t mean that we should condone the sins of others, or that we should carry a load of shame over our own lapses. The point is that Jesus calls us to walk humbly and bring ALL our burdens to Him in prayer. Do I still struggle with my tongue–am I still spouting sarcastic retorts make me look smart, while putting others down? I need to submit that habit to the Lord. Does it bother me that my brother smokes or looks at porn? I should not condone such behavior, but it’s not my place to “make him” change his behavior. I should pray about it, and let him know I care about what these habits may be doing to his health and relationships. God doesn’t “hate” my neighbor who can’t seem to hold down a job, nags her husband and kids, and uses foul language– and neither should I! I shouldn’t encourage her bad behavior, but I should be willing to listen to her, show her compassion as someone Christ died to save, and offer her the same friendly helping hand I would be willing to give my other neighbors.

And I should be honest about my own limitations. God has saved me. I am His. But he didn’t save me because I had “cleaned up my act.” And he doesn’t reject me because I still don’t know all the answers or do all the “right” things. Instead, He guides me to be more like Him as I faithfully follow His ways, including confessing when I mess up. God is big enough to save me and re-shape my future in ways I can’t even imagine. I didn’t “win” my salvation. It is a gift– one that keeps on giving!

Being a Christian isn’t about acting “better” than those around us– though we should be walking in Jesus’ footsteps and living more like Him each day. It can be difficult, as the rest of the world may hold us to a higher standard. We will be judged more harshly than our neighbors who do not attempt to follow Christ. We will be accused of holding judgmental attitudes, even when we don’t display them. And we will find our standards and morals being maligned as “old-fashioned” or “snobbish” or even “hateful.” Not because they are any of those things, but because God’s standards (and anyone who agrees with them) offend those who rebel against them. And we still live in a fallen world, just like everyone else. We still wrestle with temptations, we still experience the consequences of sin– our own and others’–that make us sick, or weak, or poor, or otherwise look like “failure” to those around us. And it does no good to pretend that life isn’t sometimes difficult and painful–we’re not fooling anybody!

Instead, being a Christian is about “becoming” better than we can be without God’s Spirit living, moving, and acting THROUGH us. And a big part of that process involves “passing gas.” We need to let go of the sin and the “bad gas” that still builds up inside of us– pride, shame, stubbornness, laziness, envy, criticism, apathy, anger, bitterness, hatred, and so much more. And we need to acknowledge that our Salvation– now and through eternity– only comes through the finished work of Jesus Christ, not our own efforts. This process is called “Sanctification.” We are “saved” by Grace through Faith (see Ephesians 2:8-9). We cannot boast about having been saved. But we testify about our salvation by a changed nature, led by God’s spirit– a “new” compassion for those around us; a new delight in following God’s standards; a new humility about our own limitations, and a new joy for the way God can work through even our weaknesses to give us victory!

Ironically, passing gas is a necessary part of our bodily processes. If we don’t get rid of the “bad” gas, it will lead to bloating and actually poison us! Similarly, if we don’t acknowledge areas where we need to confess, continue in obedience, and submit our will to the Holy Spirit’s promptings, we will become bloated with our own self-importance, and poisoned by our self-deceptions.

So today, as I pass gas– as I surely will at some point– I hope that I will be convicted, and even amused, at how God uses the lowly things of this world for our benefit, and His Glory!

February 23, 2024 0

Hidden Among the “Baggage”

I am always drawn by the stories in the Bible. Stories of ordinary and extraordinary people used by God– sometimes in spite of themselves–to rescue others, to teach others, to serve as examples, and to show how God wants to interact (or discipline) those He loves.

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

One such person was a man named Saul, son of Kish. Of all the young men of Israel, God chose Saul to be their first king. This was a mixed blessing for the nation. In asking for a human king, they were saying that the did not want to be “ruled” by God or His prophets. God warned Israel through the prophet Samuel that they might come to regret having a human king. They were rejecting the pattern established by God under Moses, and asking for a system of leadership that matched the surrounding nations. This would make it easier to make treaties, do business, and interact with neighboring countries, but it would also bring some of the same problems (succession, power struggles, greed, etc.) that plagued all the other monarchies and empires around them. The choice of Saul reveals not only God’s character, but the character of Israel. God chose a man from one of the least of the families of the least of the tribes of Israel. Saul’s father, Kish, was a man of some power and wealth, but his family line was one of younger sons of younger sons. God often chooses the “least” among us to lead. He is not a respecter of rank or birth, wealth or experience. However, God also chose Saul as a man who “looked” the part. Saul was “head and shoulders” taller than others. He was good-looking and well-educated. Wasn’t this exactly was Israel wanted in a king?

On the day Samuel called a great assembly to publicly anoint the new king, lots were cast to show God’s choice. Among the 12 tribes of Israel, the tribe of Benjamin was chosen– the youngest of the sons of Jacob, and the smallest of the tribes. A lesser family among the tribe was then selected. Finally, the choice was narrowed down to Saul, son of Kish. But Saul could not be found! A search ensued, and he was eventually found– hiding among the baggage! The tallest man in the kingdom– the one who already had been confirmed as God’s choice– tried to hide from his own coronation! And it was God who revealed Saul’s hiding place and forced him to face his exaltation!

The ongoing story of Saul’s reign as king is filled with both triumph and tragedy. Time and again, Saul tries to “hide” behind excuses. He fails to obey God’s command, but blames his weakness on others. God takes away His favor, and His spirit leaves Saul, who descends into paranoia, anger, and madness.

But today, I want to look at the idea that Saul thought he could hide “among the baggage.” (1 Samuel 10:22) Other translations say he was “among the stuff” or “among the supplies.” Saul did not run away from the assembly altogether; he did not reject his role. Yet he tried to hide from the gravity and responsibility of kingship. In many ways, this shows good qualities of humility and an understanding of his own limitations. Saul’s problem wasn’t that he thought he was “born to be king.” Saul wasn’t born to be king– it was an honor thrust upon him. Saul’s problem was that he wasn’t prepared to let God rule through him. Saul would be the titular King of Israel. But who would be the King over Saul’s own life and heart? Saul, like the nation he ruled, ended up rejecting God’s rule. He tried to follow the letter of the law, and the traditions of his people, but he did not always choose to follow the God who had created them, nor did he humble himself to accept God’s correction.

We may not be chosen for a position of leadership. But what responsibilities are we hiding from today? Are we surrounding ourselves with baggage? Do we hide in the busyness of our hobbies or our job? Do we cover ourselves with “obligations” that leave us drained to no real purpose? How many hours do we spend hiding in chit-chat, or watching television, or shopping, or daydreaming? How many times are we volunteering to work with strangers in order to avoid spending time with difficult relatives or neighbors? How often do we offer up the sacrifice of generic worship instead of the sacrifice of a teachable spirit?

Saul had many gifts, which he used to strengthen his nation and expand its territory. He had the opportunity to do even more great things for God and for Israel. But he is mostly remembered for his failures– his defiance of Samuel’s orders and excuses about disobedience; his ongoing murderous pursuit of his anointed successor, David; his consultation in the dead of night with the witch of Endor; his ignoble death in battle… We too, have opportunities to do great things with God’s help and in His power. We cannot hide forever among the “stuff” of life. God will reveal our hiding places– to others, even if we don’t acknowledge them!

Today, I pray that I will come out from behind the baggage of my everyday activities, and be available for God’s good purposes!

Please see these other links for more commentary:
https://jentezenfranklin.org/daily-devotions/what-are-you-hiding-behind#:~:text=%E2%80%9CHe%20is%20hiding%20among%20the%20baggage.%E2%80%9D%201Sa%2010%3A22,tackling%20the%20job%20God%20appointed%20you%20to%20do.
https://www.thekingdomcollective.com/spurgeon/sermon/3322/

June 14, 2023 0

Interrupted Prayer

I sat down to pray this morning.
My phone rang.
Somewhere a dog barked.
I suddenly remembered I had to swap out the laundry.
I got distracted by the breakfast dishes…

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And yet..

My call was from someone I love– someone I was going to pray for anyway.
The dog probably belonged to my neighbor– someone else to lift up in prayer.
Which reminds me of the woman at church who just lost her beloved pet…
I hung up my new sweater; a gift from my husband. How blessed I am!
Our dryer is old, but it still works– another blessing.
And the dishes–well, we had food to eat this morning.
But they can wait until I finish spending time on my knees.

Prayers, like life, get interrupted. But we can see those interruptions as excuses or opportunities.

February 18, 2022 0

Spiritual Distancing

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” Matthew 6:13

For over a year now, we’ve been hearing the term “social distancing” in relation to COVID-19. Social distancing generally refers to keeping a “safe” distance from others in public, to reduce the spread of the virus (normally about 6 feet). It may also refer to using a mask whenever you are in a public building, or whenever you interact with someone who is 6 feet away or closer– especially at stores, doctor’s offices, church, school, etc.

Most people accept that social distancing is a temporary measure and meant to help keep you from getting (or giving) the disease. It is not a normal social practice, but one we choose to adopt for the good of everyone around us. However, there are many questions as to the effectiveness of social distancing after more than a year– what about those who have already had COVID, and should have antibodies? Should they be required to wear masks and keep their distance? What about those who refuse to practice social distancing? What about those who practice social distancing to the best of their ability who STILL get COVID?

These are all valid questions. But I want to look at the contrast between social distancing and “spiritual” distancing. We don’t want to “catch” COVID, but how vigilant are we in avoiding the contamination of sin? How often do we distance ourselves from those who claim to be “healthy” Christians while continuing with sinful practices? How often do we remain in situations rife with temptation, or compromise on “little things” in our own lives?

I’m not talking about walking around in a spiritual “bubble,” refusing to interact with anyone who has a sinful past, or with lost souls who need to hear the Good News of Salvation. Nor should we deny and cover up our own faults and failures. But if our lives are supposed to reflect the ministry and teaching of Jesus Christ; if we REALLY want to live the kind of lives that honor Him and lead others to want to honor Him, shouldn’t we be every bit as careful about sin as we are about COVID?

We are instructed multiple times throughout Scripture to “resist” the devil, to “flee” from temptation, to invite the Holy Spirit to “guard” our hearts and minds, and to “do battle” with spiritual foes. We are quick to put on masks before we enter the grocery– are we putting on the Armor of God at the same time?

Social distancing is public, and very visible. We can see who is practicing and who is not. We can judge others just by seeing if they are wearing a mask or keeping their distance. Spiritual distancing is private and largely invisible to the public. But God still sees and knows. I confess, I have been guilty of walking into situations and relationships without “wearing a mask” or putting on my spiritual armor.

¹⁰Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.¹⁸And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
Ephesians 6:10-18 NIV via biblegateway.com (emphasis added).

We should keep our distance from sin and temptation whenever possible, but we must also be ready to “stand firm” and protected by God’s armor, which includes persistently pursuing prayer! We wouldn’t walk into a situation where we knew we would be exposed to COVID without taking any precautions. Why would we deliberately expose ourselves to sinful practices? Why do we make excuses for compromising in our listening and viewing habits? Why do we get involved in fruitless arguments or gossip? Worse, why would we tempt others to be complacent about sin? Why do we stay silent as we watch other Christians struggling? Why aren’t we standing firm, suiting up, and praying “on all occasions?”

Just like with COVID, we can practice spiritual distancing and still fall into the “sickness” of sin. But God makes a two-fold promise–through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the “virus” of sin is defeated and its effects neutralized. Even though we will face a physical death, we can have new and eternal spiritual life through faith by grace (Ephesians 2:8-9; John 11:25, others..) But we also have the forgiveness of sins– the knowledge that God will heal us and redeem the effects of our individual sinful choices when we confess and repent of them.

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

COVID is not a joke; nor is it harmless. I know from experience. Both my husband and I had it earlier this year. My husband was in the hospital for a week, and is still struggling to regain full health. I still have a diminished sense of smell, and other problems as a result of my illness. But Sin if a far greater threat than COVID. COVID has claimed many lives, but Sin has claimed billions of souls, and robbed them of life and hope.

Let’s keep our distance, wear our armor, and let’s get praying!