Prayer and Fasting

I had to fast overnight for some bloodwork I had done this morning. No food for 12 hours; no water for 8 hours before the blood draw. It shouldn’t seem like such a difficult thing, but at 9 or 10 p.m., I imagined I smelled food. My mouth watered– and then it felt dry. I felt woozy and weak. Surely I could have just a cracker or some orange juice, right? But no, I finished the fast and rejoiced to eat breakfast after the blood draw was complete. And simple scrambled eggs tasted sooo good! Oddly, I have often gone several hours without food and without all the imagined side effects I felt last night. The actions were the same, but the focus was on what I was doing, not what I was missing.

Fasting has become popular in recent years. I know several people who practice intermittent fasting for weight loss and other health benefits. Others fast for religious reasons (other than prayer); some people give up certain foods ritually, for Lent or other festivals. Some even fast in dangerous ways (anorexia, etc.) Fasting is usually about our relationship (sometimes an unhealthy relationship) with food.

Prayer, on the other hand, is all about our relationship with God. And when the Bible speaks of Prayer and Fasting, it is also about our relationship with God. The Bible gives many examples of fasting– even “extreme” fasting. Moses, King David, Jesus, and the Apostles all practiced it. Sometimes entire groups (churches), cities (Nineveh–see Jonah, chapter 3), and nations (Israel/Judah) fasted. The Bible also gives us many reasons to do fasting, including repentance of personal or national sin, deep personal struggles, and focusing on a single issue, such as the unsaved, the persecution of fellow Christians, seasons of famine, or ongoing injustices. But the Bible isn’t specific with guidelines and rules about fasting, because, like prayer, it is primarily a pursuit. It’s not about the extremes or the number of days, or the amount of food we “give up.” It is about the pure pursuit of God’s sufficiency. God is not impressed by whether we fast for one day or forty; He does not count the number of calories we might have consumed or the amount of weight we lost. He doesn’t measure the strength of our will power or our “success.” He isn’t impressed by posturing and virtue signaling. What He does ask is that we pray with complete focus and integrity, without the distractions that food, entertainment, and even sleep can sometimes become.

We can fast for hours or days– miss one meal or fifteen–and still “miss” the blessing of prayer, because we are focused on what we are doing (or not doing) instead of focusing on what God is doing. We can also “fast” in ways that have nothing to do with food– turn off the TV or phone, retreat from crowds and busyness, even “fast” from sleep! The point is not that WE are “better” for fasting, but that fasting is “better” for US!

Today, consider a small “fast”– replace a coffee break, snack, meal, hour of social media, or that extra 15 minutes of sleep with some time alone and wholly abandoned to God. Not only will we come away refreshed and not “missing” whatever we traded, but we will more fully enjoy those same activities or foods when they take their rightful priorities. Remember, prayer and fasting is not a contest or a ritual, it is a pursuit and an adventure! Enjoy it!

Some thoughts:

1) Fasting is as individualized as praying. There is no perfect “formula.” But there are several helpful suggestions. You can set a time limit (one day; 12 hours, etc. without food or a certain activity) or a food/activity limit (only one meal a day for seven days, only one television program per night for a week). You can plan days or weeks ahead to fast for a definite period, or you can decide spontaneously to start fasting until you feel led to stop. One caveat– Fasting is not a game. It IS a commitment, and shouldn’t be done without a real desire to get closer to God.
2) Having said that, fasting isn’t about your will power, or success/failure. Sometimes, circumstances will prevent you from completing a planned fast. Certain health issues or family situations may prevent you from fasting for a day or more. Sometimes you will fall short of the goal you set. Don’t let that stop you from trying again, or trying differently. God isn’t about perfection on your part– He IS about helping you grow stronger and more complete as you continue to walk with Him.
3) Fasting is personal. It isn’t about looking virtuous, posting about your struggles, or comparing yourself to others. (See Matthew 6:16-18) That doesn’t mean it can’t be done as a group. But group fasting should be about a single focus or topic, not about making everyone in the group conform to a preconceived expectation. There is great encouragement to be found in praying as a group, and some encouragement in fasting as a group, but remember, fasting is between you and God, not you and the group, or you and all your Facebook friends.

NOTE: At least once a month this year, I want to offer some practical suggestions on how we can better pursue a life of Prayer and living the Christian Life. I hope this post gives each reader something to consider.

November 10, 2023 1

Who Are We Feeding?

“An old Cherokee man told his grandson, ‘..My boy, there is a great battle between two wolves that live inside us all. One is evil–it is anger, jealousy, greed, lies, resentment, regret, and arrogance. The other is good– it is joy, love, peace, hope, kindness, humility, empathy, and truth.’ The boy thought for awhile, and then he asked, ‘ Grandfather, which wolf wins the great battle?’ The wise old man replied quietly, ‘The one you feed.'”
The Story of the Two Wolves– a Cherokee legend

“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. ²²“Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. ²³But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is! ²⁴“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money. ²⁵“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? ²⁶Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? ²⁷Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?²⁸“And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, ²⁹yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. ³⁰And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? ³¹“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ ³²These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. ³³Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
Matthew 6:19-33 NLT

Just a short while ago, I published a blog entry called, “You Are Not What You Eat.” But sometimes, you DO become what you consume. I’m not talking literally about food, but figuratively you become what you read, and listen to, and spend time and money on– what you consume can end up consuming You!

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
― Lao Tzu

Just like the two wolves in the Cherokee legend, there are two forces at work inside us. The Bible calls them “flesh” and “spirit.” The Apostle Paul also writes about this great battle:

¹⁵For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ¹⁶Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. ¹⁷So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. ¹⁸For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. ¹⁹For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. ²⁰Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
Romans 7:15-20 ESV

We all start with “good intentions.” We want to be known as a “good person.” We want to have healthy relationships. We want the trust and respect of others. But Sin works in us against our own good intentions. We get hurt, so we lash out in anger. We see others achieving success or enjoying benefits we think we should have, and we become envious or resentful. We allow fear, greed, or bitterness to overpower us. We lie, or we isolate ourselves from others. We give up in despair, or reject the help and advice of those who want what’s best for us. We rely on our own resources and “will power” to achieve success, even to lose weight– but we always seem to fall short! We compare ourselves to others– sometimes ending in arrogance and apathy, sometimes ending in shame and humiliation.

But the battleground is not always so obvious as arrogance or despair, hurting others or being victimized. Who are we feeding in those moments of relaxation and ease? Are we scrolling through websites that waste our valuable time or encourage us to devalue others around us? Are we listening to music that encourages us to anger and pleasing ourselves at any expense? Are we reading books or watching movies that honor God? Are we spending money in ways that please Him? Are we spending our “down” time on our knees? Who are we feeding when times are tough? Are we spending time worrying or scurrying around trying to “make things happen” a certain way? Are we grateful, or fearful? Are we terrified or trusting? Our small choices in things that don’t seem to matter can start to change the way we think, and speak, act, and live.

There IS a great battle. But there are also tiny battles in the little moments of our day: opportunities to inch closer to God or to lose ground to the distractions and temptations of the world. And on our own, we will lose the battle, for the “flesh” will conspire to steal even the “good” food we think we are feeding ourselves. Thankfully, Christ came to feed the “good wolf.” In following Christ; in developing a relationship with Him, we allow His Spirit to nourish us. He is the “bread of life.” He is the “living water.” He alone provides the power to win the battle. Paul follows up in Romans by saying:

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. ²⁷And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. ²⁸And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
Romans 8 26-30 ESV

So who are we feeding today? Or rather, who is feeding us? What are we consuming, and is it consuming us in turn? I hope we are feeding on God’s Word today, and walking with Him in each moment– whether in quiet reflection or in desperate need. May we be nourished and satisfied as we walk forward with Him!

November 3, 2023 0

Miss Whitcomb

When I was in seventh grade, I had a teacher named Miss Whitcomb. She was notorious throughout the school system as the “toughest” teacher we would ever have. She was ruthless. She demanded absolute quiet, she did not grade “on a curve,” and she never smiled. She had an ongoing war with grape-flavored chewing gum and students who were three seconds late for class. She gave impossible assignments and offered little in the way of help, comfort, or guidance. She had a point system for behavior, and most students ended up earning detentions. Everyone dreaded her class. Many normally confident and competent students failed her class. They worried themselves into sleepless nights and second-guessing their own abilities.

I suffered through two years of Miss Whitcomb’s classes. I had her for American History, English, and introductory drafting class. She was exacting and frustrating. But I learned a lot. Her assignments often seemed impossible, but some of them were creative as well as challenging. I never learned to love Miss Whitcomb’s class, but I learned to survive it– and, while I can’t say I learned to like her, I learned to respect her.

Years later, I returned to my home town as a teacher. And Miss Whitcomb was my colleague. A new generation of students were suffering under Miss Whitcomb’s impossible demands, and many were sure they could petition the school administration to get her fired. They came to me seeking support. I wouldn’t give it. I told them I remembered how difficult her classes were, but that I felt that it was important that they experience tough teachers, like Miss Whitcomb, because they would often experience tough bosses or professors, and tough situations as adults; learning to survive Miss Whitcomb’s class would give them practice for tough times in the future. And I suggested that they look at her classes as a challenge to be faced, rather than a punishment to be feared.

I had a difficult time understanding why Miss Whitcomb was so “tough.” But I got an insight from an unexpected event. A group of high school students were going on a field trip to see the hit musical, “Les Miserables” at a local university theater. They needed chaperones, and I agreed to come, as it was a wonderful chance to see a national touring company perform a terrific play. Surprisingly, Miss Whitcomb also came as a chaperone. I never thought of musicals as “her thing,” but she had decided to give it a try. Of course, the students were terrified of her, and she ended up sitting on the far side of the group (but it was a much quieter ride up to the campus!)

The play was magnificent, but Miss Whitcomb was very disturbed by it. The next day, she tackled the teacher who had organized the trip to complain. Her complaint was not with the students or the performers. It was about the story itself! She was somewhat familiar with the novel’s plot, but seeing it “live,” she was bothered by the character of Javert, and his pursuit of the main character, Jean Valjean. In the story, Javert has spent the better part of 25 years tracking Valjean, an escaped convict. When he finally finds him, Valjean ends up saving his life. Javert cannot reconcile that the “criminal” he has been looking for– his enemy– has saved him. Miss Whitcomb so identified with Javert, that she found the story untenable.

Why was she so upset? Because Javert was “righteous.” He represented the law. His quest was legal–his foe, Valjean, HAD escaped from prison. He had every “right” to pursue him and force him to complete his extra sentence (Valjean had completed his original term). But Javert was the one, in the end, who needed to be saved. And Valjean, who had every reason to let Javert die, risked his life to save his arch-enemy. This was not how Miss Whitcomb viewed life. The righteous should be the saviors; the guilty should be punished, not celebrated. Miss Whitcomb understood right and wrong– but she had no room for grace or forgiveness.

There is a Bible verse that has always caused me to be curious. Romans 5:8 is well known– “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” But Romans 5:7 says, “Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.” (emphasis added) Paul is making a distinction that Jesus also often made–not everyone who is “righteous” is “good.” In Mark 10, Jesus is asked by a rich young ruler what he must do to inherit eternal life. The young man calls Jesus, “good teacher.” But before Jesus answers the question, he turns it back on the young man. “‘Why do you call me good,’ Jesus asked. ‘Only God is truly good” (v. 18). The rich young ruler does not want to know how to become “good.” He does not want to learn from Jesus. He merely wants to be judged as “good enough” to inherit eternal life. And he believes that he is “righteous” enough to have earned it.

Miss Whitcomb was a dedicated teacher. She was a “righteous” educator. But she never learned (or was able to teach) compassion, humility, or mercy. And that was a lesson her students missed. It is a lesson far greater than knowing U.S. History, or Government, or English grammar. I have heard from some of her adult education students that she was far less harsh with them. I hope this is true. She had a lot to give, and she suffered greatly from her own high standards and lack of compassion in relation to her younger students. I believe she had “good” intentions– that she believed her high standards were “right” and that any show of mercy was a weakness. But she missed out on so much– so many students who might have liked her better, and learned more from her–by putting righteousness ahead of mercy.

We serve a God who is BOTH– completely HOLY and Good, and Righteous, as well as merciful, gracious and compassionate. God forgives us without lowering His standards. He sent His Son to save us– While we were yet sinners! Romans 5 continues, “Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!” (Romans 5:9-10) We don’t have to be terrified of God. We don’t have to be constantly reminded of our past guilt and shame. We don’t have to fear that we will “fail” to please God if we choose to follow Him.

October 11, 2023 1

Promises to Keep

The month of June is “Anniversary Month” in much of my family. My parents and one set of grandparents were all married on June 1st. My brother and sister both celebrate anniversaries next week, as does my one of my brothers-in-law. Marriage is in trouble in our society– many marriages are ending in divorce, while others are choosing to wait longer before making a commitment or choosing not to marry at all.

We tend to celebrate marriage as being all about feelings of love, but marriage is really about making and keeping promises. Two people stand before witnesses and take sacred oaths to be faithful, to love, honor, and cherish (and yipes! sometimes even to obey) one another for the rest of their lives. And most people who take such oaths do so with honest intent. Why, then, does it seem to be failing so often?

Photo by Asad Photo Maldives on Pexels.com

One of the reasons has to do with expectations. We expect the same giddy feelings of delight we have during courtship to carry us dreamily into the future. And we expect that the way we act during courtship will be the norm– the “happily ever after” fairy-tale life of story books and romance novels. We expect that we will always be the same as we are now: young, carefree, beautiful/handsome, and eager to please and be pleased by the boy/girl of our dreams… This is unrealistic. And even when we say we know better, we hang on to unrealistic expectations for our relationships, just as we do for other situations and circumstances. Even our “soulmates” can disappoint us, fail to understand us, suffer failures and setbacks, battle depression or addiction, lose their youth and good health, and even question their feelings for us.

Another related issue is that we usually take vows when we are young and our future looks bright. Circumstances can change; plans can fail. War, disease, financial ruin, the loss or miscarriage of a child or children, forced changes in living arrangements or work schedules– all can put enormous stress on a marriage.

But not all marriages crumble under the weight of unusual or unexpected circumstances. Some seem to erode slowly, even under “good” circumstances. Why?

One reason I’ve seen as I look around is a seeming inability to make and keep small promises. We make big, broad promises at a wedding– “for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health..” “’til death us do part…” But we don’t promise to forgive him when he leaves the toilet seat up for the fifth time this week, or wait for her while she tries on every one of the six outfits she can’t decide on for the upcoming class reunion. We don’t promise to compromise on which family we will visit for Christmas each year, or what color we will have in the dining room. We think of marriage as a series of negotiations (which it IS), but ones in which one of us “wins” and the other “loses.” And if we consider that we are the “loser” in enough negotiations, we feel entitled to “break” our little promises.

Almost two years ago, my husband suffered an injury at work. He “punctured” his leg–the injury wasn’t huge, but it was deep, and on the back side of the leg, where he couldn’t see it. He knew it hurt, but thought it would heal up. Instead, it became infected. We had to go to the local wound clinic for several months, but between visits, I had to change the dressings, wash the wound, apply the various antibiotics and salves, redress the wound, etc.. David was still working full time, so the dressings would sometimes get sweaty and dirty on top of everything else. I promised to be faithful “in sickness and in health”– and that included washing out the pus-filled wound and caring for the pus-soaked dressings; it included wrapping his leg every other night for weeks. We went through hundreds of yards of gauze and anti-stick dressings, tubes of several different antibiotic salves, special compression socks, etc. Hundreds of dollars and hours later, his leg is slowly getting back to “normal.” During this same period, I was diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes. David has had to be patient with me as I learn to eat (and cook) differently. He has had to help me with glucose testing, dealing with low-sugar episodes, and put up with mood swings (even more than normal!).

And our health odyssey could be much worse– what about those who have to deal with cancer or dementia? But I think sometimes we minimize the commitment needed for the smaller, chronic conditions. The stress may be smaller, but it piles up, just the same. Our promises need to hold in the daily crises– big and small. And our promises need to hold when there is no crisis– and no adventure, either. Many marriages fall victim to “smooth sailing.” Things settle into a routine, and promises that were made to sustain the marriage in the face of “richer or poorer” fall apart in the settled comfort of middle class complacency. Vows take for “better or worse” fall apart in the “blah” and boredom of “good enough.”

Marriage is designed to be a picture of our relationship with Christ. As Christians, we are the “bride” of Christ! But we may need to review our vows and our commitment. Christ is eternally faithful; are we? In our flesh and our frail humanity, we cannot remain faithful on our own. But where are we? Have we lost our first love? Are we committed to Christ even in the midst of chronic illness or small setbacks? Are we flirting with the world because we have become “bored” with our Christian Walk? Has our joy been eroded by our failure to share our little stresses and secret sins with the Lover of our Soul?

Often, when we take a moment to remember our wedding day, we are reminded of the commitments we made, and the joy we felt on that special day. It can be bittersweet, if we have let circumstances or feelings pull us away from the one we love (or if they have moved away from their commitment). But it can be a wake-up call, as well, reminding us that promises made and promises kept are what leads to long-term joy and security. It can be helpful to take a few moments (or more) every once in awhile to remember when we came to Christ, and be reminded of the commitment we made– and the promises He has kept!

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah+31&version=ESV

Read Jeremiah 31 for more about God’s “marriage” covenant with Israel

https://www.openbible.info/topics/the_bride_of_christ

Use the link above to read more about marriage in the context of Christ and the Church

June 2, 2023 0

Debt Free!

7“Blessed are those

    whose transgressions are forgiven,

    whose sins are covered.

⁸Blessed is the one

    whose sin the Lord will never count against them.”
Romans 4:7-8 (NIV) via biblegateway.com (See also Psalm 32:1-2)

Ask me about my most embarrassing moment, or my greatest failure..better yet, ask one of my friends or relatives! We tend to hang on to our past, especially our mistakes, our hurts, our missed opportunities, and our shortcomings. When I taught public speaking in a local high school, I heard horror stories about why “I can’t get in front of people and talk.” The fear of public speaking rates higher in some studies than the fear of Death! And often, the fear is based on an incident from early childhood of people laughing at a small, but very public mistake. Such moments haunt us.

As we grow older, we let our regrets live large– those things we “would have, should have, could have” done, or the things we shouldn’t have said, but can never un-say. And even if we try to move on or forget the past, there always seems to be someone who cannot let go, cannot forgive, or cannot forgive. Lives have been stunted and ruined by the ghosts of “what happened” when…

Photo by Wildan Zainul Faki on Pexels.com

God is all-knowing. There is nothing we’ve ever done, said, or even thought, that He “missed,” ignored, or “lost track of.” God has total recall over all the centuries and eons of time– past, present, and even future! And yet, God offers to forgive ALL our sins, and to “remember them no more.” God will never bring up “that time when you disappointed me…” God will never look at you with condemnation over anything you have confessed and repented over. It’s not that God will never be able to recall what happened; but He will no longer “charge it to your account.” He has chosen to pay the consequences in His own Blood, so that you can be debt free.

Imagine if you had no bills. If all your mortgages, utility payments, credit card debt, medical bills–everything that you were responsible to pay– all were stamped “Paid in full.” You never had to worry about interest payments, late fees, repossession, evening phone calls from bill collectors, credit scores, etc. What a weight off your shoulders! Imagine if you had no reason to fear getting in front of a room full of people to speak or sing or give a presentation– no fear that others would judge your every hesitation, or whether your tie was straight, or your hair was mussed, or you stumbled over a word or phrase or tripped on the steps leading up to the podium. Imagine being accepted and embraced by the very one who, by rights, should be your most severe critic.

Sometimes, when we see God as our critic, our judge, or our opponent, we’re not seeing God as He really is– we’re seeing a reflection of ourselves– harsh, judgmental, unwilling to forgive others; unwilling to forgive ourselves. The very first deception of the Enemy was to distort God’s image from Creator and Sustainer to Judge and Tyrant. Yet Satan is called “The Accuser,” not God. God’s Holy Spirit may convict us of Sin– causing us to see that we have done wrong– but His purpose is always to correct and restore us, not to haunt and condemn us. Even the “worst” sins are not beyond God’s ability or willingness to forgive. Jesus forgave His accusers, His betrayers, and His executioners from the Cross!

Forgiveness is not easy. Sin is real; it has real and terrible consequences. Sin hurts, humiliates, victimizes, and traumatizes. And its effects do not simply vanish if we say, “I forgive.” But hanging on to the pain and anger keeps us from finding and experiencing the healing and wholeness that Jesus offers. Forgiveness does not mean that the sin, or the pain, never happened– God will not “forget” injustice just because we forgive the unjust. Forgiveness means that we no longer need to try to collect the debt from someone else– because God has already promised to pay it back with interest! And forgiving yourself doesn’t mean that your past actions didn’t happen or didn’t cause pain. In fact, whenever there are opportunities to atone for past actions, or ask forgiveness from those we have wronged, we should take them. But where such opportunities are impossible for us, even when we cannot see how such pain could be redeemed or relationships restored, God has promised that we can move beyond our past mistakes and live a new , blessed, and debt-free life.

When we approach God in prayer, we come as we are– people with past mistakes, very human emotions, including doubt and fear, and unworthy to stand on our own before a perfect God. But it is God who invites us to come to Him– debt free and embraced by His limitless Grace!

April 21, 2023 0

Developing Discipline

In my last post, Pursuing Discipline, I spoke of journaling and being consistent in prayer as part of learning discipline. Discipline is an important part of the Christian Walk; one that we don’t always talk about. Discipline is difficult. Discipline is developed over time. And I want to be clear that keeping a Prayer Journal, like other forms of discipline, will take time and effort.

My current prayer journal is the result of years of effort, changes, failures, and baby steps. Several years ago, I found, in a Christian Bookstore, an item called a “Prayer Journal.” It was pre-printed with wonderful facts about different unreached people groups to pray for each week of the year. It was set up in a “planner” format, with each week spread out on a double page, and areas for each day to write in appointments, notes, personal prayer requests, etc. I loved it. But it was specific to that year. As the year was drawing to a close, I went back to the same bookstore, eager to get the next year’s edition. I could not find it.

I thought, “How hard could it be to create my own?” HARD! I did not have the resources to update the information about various countries. I did not like many of the other “planners” I came across. I wasn’t satisfied with apps and on-line planners and calendars. And I wanted to add space for local and personal prayer requests, including all the birthdays and anniversaries of people I know. I wanted a format I could use from year to year, so I wouldn’t have to enter the information over and over again. And I wanted a format where I could see it all, spread out in front of me.

More than twenty years later, I began using the system I currently use– four notebooks for each quarter of the year. Each page is a single day, with the names of people celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, or (in some cases) families mourning the loss of a loved one on that day. In the top corner, I have the name of a country, city, community, or geographical area. These are my daily focus points. In the front of the notebook, I have a reminder of the “Prayer Points”– those topical areas for each day of the week. The bottom half of the page is free for me to add in immediate prayer requests– hospitalizations, those who are traveling or moving, etc.. Each “new” request I add at the bottom gets “tagged” with the year of the request. This way, the journal can be used year after year, until I run out of space for requests, or it wears out! I leave the back of each page for answers. Some days, I go back and look at prayer requests from the previous week and write in the answers or progress. Sometimes, I am reminded to update the request. Sometimes, I see a request from a previous year, and I have not yet written the answer, or there has been an update. In this way, I can help focus my daily prayer time in the morning and/or evening. Of course, I can pray about anything, any time; this is just a way to pursue a more disciplined approach to prayer.

For anyone wanting to use or create a Prayer Journal– please take time to build it prayerfully and deliberately. But also be prepared to “fail.” I went through several notebooks, purchased planners and ready-to-use prayer journals before I found one that works well for me. And even now, there are days when I do not open my journal and use it as it was intended. It is not, after all, a ritual or a code to follow. Prayer is a pursuit– but it is just one part of the pursuit of a closer relationship with God. Disciplined prayer helps me focus on God, helps me understand more of His Character, and helps me build our relationship. Perfect prayer is not the goal, but building on prayer is the objective toward reaching the goal. Part of the building of character and discipline is the journey!

When Jesus’ disciples asked Him to teach them to pray, He did not give them a formula for a prayer journal. He did not give them a system for prayer. He gave them a very simple sample format. But Scripture gives us several other examples of prayers– long and anguished, poetic and joyful, even quick bursts of panic or exasperation. Prayer is far too complex to boil down to a single formula or system.

I hope that what I write here helps you on a journey to discover the complexities of prayer. I hope that you, like me, will draw closer to God as you pursue ways to think about and to practice praying. Your journey, and your journal, will look and function far different from mine. But I hope you find one that helps you grow in discipline, in compassion, in knowledge, and in character. As for me, I will be turning my focus on East Timor, my nephew (who is celebrating his birthday today!), and business and financial issues. And then all the other things on my heart throughout the day! Because God is always listening, and God is always everywhere!

April 14, 2023 0

Life is Pain…

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+16%3A33&version=NLT

One of my favorite movies is “The Princess Bride.” The title character begins the story as a young, beautiful, wealthy, and spoiled young woman. She falls in love with the young farm boy who works for her father. The young man leaves to make his fortune, but word comes that he has been captured and killed by pirates. In utter despair, the young woman allows herself to become engaged to a spoiled and wicked prince. She has allowed her grief to consume her, and she cares nothing for the prince, his wealth or power, or even her own future. Before she can be married to the prince, she is kidnapped by villains, and “rescued” by a mysterious pirate. Instead of being grateful, she curses the pirate, telling him that he could never understand her great loss and pain. His answer, harsh, glib, but to the point, is to say that “life is pain, Princess. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something.”

There are certain truths in life that we would avoid if we could– death, pain, sorrow, grief, suffering, and Sin–we don’t want to hear the harsh reality of our situation. We don’t want to suffer or hurt at all; much less to discover that our suffering is commonplace or universal. Everyone will taste death; everyone will face pain and grief and suffering in this life. Everyone will suffer as a result of Sin– our individual actions have consequences, as do the cumulative actions of our culture, our ancestors, and the entire human race. Life isn’t always good, or fair, or just, or comfortable. This is a harsh truth, but it IS the truth. We will face injustice– no matter who we are. We will face suffering, illness, and death. We will face loss–loss of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of a marriage, loss of health, loss of freedom or autonomy. We will not always win. We will not always get what we want. We will not always get justice in this life.

There are four common techniques we tend to use to avoid facing harsh truths– denial or avoidance, anger, bargaining, and depression or despair. Many people know these terms from the Kubler-Ross studies on patients with terminal illnesses and the five “stages” she identified as they came to terms with their impending death. https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/ The fifth “stage” was acceptance. The five stages have been applied commonly to other forms of grieving and loss, including the loss of a loved one or the break-up of a marriage. While most of us go through some or all of these stages when we face suffering, we don’t all go through them the same way or even in the same order.

Many of us live in avoidance and denial– rushing headlong into meaningless pleasure, self-medicating with alcohol or drugs, staying busy with the pursuit of wealth or power, moving from place to place or relationship to relationship. Others wrap themselves in anger– blaming everyone else for their pain, seeking revenge, driving away those who want to help. Anger may feel productive, but it limits our scope of vision and keeps us focused on the pain inside. Still others try to bargain. Some seek to avoid aging, diminished health, or death by trying every new diet or fitness routine. Others try to avoid guilt, pain, or disappointment by trying to be righteous enough to earn a supernatural blessing or “good karma.” Still many others wallow in depression and despair, lost in the swamp and mist, sinking into a pit of their own feelings. Like those who live in denial, they avoid the difficult choices that would lead to life, instead letting life wash over them and draining them of energy and joy.

These reactions are normal and human. Harsh truths hurt– they shock us, overwhelm us, shatter our trust, even shake our faith. But they ARE true. We cannot change our circumstances by running away, raging at everyone around us, or giving up. We cannot go back in time and “undo” the tragic circumstances of our lives. And our reactions have their own consequences. They cannot negate the past or change the present. They can only impact the future.

But there is another truth: God has not left us without resources, even for the harshest realities we face. Even when we are in despair, or angry, or in denial, God can give us peace and strength to go on. God isn’t “selling something” to make the pain go away or make our life “trouble-proof.” Jesus never offered a comfortable life to His followers. In fact, He promised that our lives would be filled with trouble and pain and sorrow! Christians who claim that they never face fear, or failure, fury or frustration, loss and sorrow– they are “selling” a false gospel. The Good News isn’t about avoiding pain or sorrow. It is about OVERCOMING them! Jesus faced and conquered death on a cross! He could have avoided it– He could have been angry at those who betrayed Him–He could have stayed buried in despair and failure. But He arose! We don’t worship someone who has never wept, or faced betrayal or loss. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6)– if anyone knows the harsh truth, it is the one who IS Truth! And this Truth hurts– He hurts to see us grieving; He hurts when we reject Him to go our own way; He hurts even as He allows us to hurt. And He offers us His Grace to survive and thrive– not an escape, but a victory!

Faith, prayer, worship, promises– these are not God’s way of helping us escape the reality of harsh truths. They are His tools for helping us to overcome and be victorious in the face of trials and setbacks, grief and pain, even death! A life of faith isn’t a life of denying the harsh realities of life, nor is it a prescription for avoiding life’s hurts. Even the faithful will someday have to taste death. Even those who pray and praise will often do so in tears of anguish and even momentary doubt. But they will reach the peace of acceptance as they wrestle with the seasons of pain, knowing that God promises healing and joy and justice– in His perfect will and timing! As Princess Buttercup discovers in “The Princess Bride”– “Death cannot stop true love!” And it cannot stop the Truth that IS Love!

“Life is pain…” In THIS fallen and broken world. But we can take heart–Jesus has overcome this world. He has won victory over sin and death, pain and loss. And He gives abundant life. Life that transcends disease, disappointment, and even death.

April 3, 2023 0

What Might Have Been…

One of my favorite movies is “It’s a Wonderful Life.” No matter how many times I watch it, it never gets old for me.

Oh, I know it’s in black and white, and it’s out-of-date. It’s politically incorrect on numerous levels, and it’s theologically incorrect, as well. But for all that, I think it has a deep wisdom we are sorely lacking, and I think what it says about the power of prayer cannot be dismissed.

Much of the movie is spent tracing the less-than-wonderful things that happen to George Bailey. George Bailey is the quintessential “nice-guy” who always seems to miss out–as a boy, he leaps into an icy river to save his brother’s life. His brother is saved, but George ends up losing the hearing in one ear. While his friends go off to college, George has to stay behind; when he finally saves enough money to enroll, he ends up having to give up his college plans to save the family business after the sudden death of his father. He loses out on business opportunities, and keeps losing skirmishes with his nemesis, the “scurvy spider” local magnate, Mr. Potter. Finally, on Christmas Eve, George has had enough. The weight of always doing “the right thing,” and watching others get ahead while he falls further behind, has taken its toll. When his absent-minded uncle loses $8000, George faces scandal and prison after all his years of frustrating hard work in a job he hates. After uncharacteristic angry outbursts and a short drinking binge, George is in utter meltdown. In desperation, he prays. It’s not an eloquent prayer, or an angry outburst. It’s a wimpy, doubtful, squeak of a prayer, “Dear Father in Heaven, I’m not a praying man, but if you’re up there and you can hear me, show me the way…show me the way.”

What the viewer knows, but George doesn’t, is that dozens of people he knows have all been praying for him. We get to hear the voices of his wife, his children, his friends and neighbors, all praying simple and heartfelt prayers. And we also know that God is at work– preparing to send an angel to help George. But in the bar, at the end of George’s tearful and tremulous prayer, God is silent.

Not only is God silent, but George’s downward spiral continues after his prayer. He gets punched in the jaw by a man he was arguing with earlier in the evening, and he doesn’t even have enough money to pay his bar tab. Driving away, drunk, he runs into a tree and gets yelled at. Reeling down the road and onto the bridge, where he intends to jump to his death, he almost gets hit by a truck.

While I like the sappy, happy ending of the movie, the incredible darkness and despair leading up to George’s encounter with Clarence, and the even darker “alternate universe” that George experiences are what keep me coming back to this movie– not because I’m a glutton for emotional wringers, but because George’s story is only wonderful when he gets to see it from God’s point of view. Mr. Potter tells George that he is worth more dead than alive. But Clarence shows George the true worth of his life, not as it might have been, but as it might NOT have been.

And so it is with our lives–all the “might-have-beens” and broken dreams and failures that weigh us down– God is NOT (as we so often picture Him) shaking His head and grumbling about our wasted potential and weakness. And often, the people we most fear to disappoint, our family and friends, are rooting for us to stay the course– to finish the race. God wants to wipe away all the seeming failures; all the “what-if”s and the “what might have been”s and replace them with the bigger picture of “what is happening around you”, “what really IS”, and “what can be.”*

There was never anything wrong with George’s dreams of traveling the world and becoming a successful builder of skyscrapers “a hundred stories tall.” George’s desire to have nice things for himself and his family was not evil, and, in fact, his ambition to do great things was not that different than Mr. Potter’s. But George’s choices, while “right” were not in his own immediate best interest. What Clarence showed George was not “what might have been” had George made other choices in his life. What he showed George was indeed far more wonderful– the ultimate IMPACT of George’s choices! God didn’t “take away” George’s dreams or ruin his life. But neither did He prevent him from making selfish choices or getting what he wanted in the moment. George’s life wasn’t wonderful because of what happened to him– though the ending is miraculous, and George gets toasted by his hero brother as “the richest man in town.” But what really made George’s life wonderful was that he was THERE– there to save his brother; there to fall in love with Mary; there to help and influence so many people; there to tuck his daughter into bed and “paste” the petals of her flower; even there to stand up to Mr. Potter when no one else did.

God answered George’s prayer. And He answered the prayers of his friends and family. But He didn’t answer in the way we would expect. In fact, George jokes with Clarence that the answer to his prayer was getting slugged in the jaw. But God’s answer came in the form of a childlike “angel” who struggles and questions his ability to make a difference– much like George himself. God didn’t answer the superficial aspect of George’s prayer– He didn’t show him the way to get $8,000. He didn’t show him the way to defeat Mr. Potter, or suddenly become more successful. But He did show George the way to look for “what is” and “what can be”, instead of the “what might have been.”

For anyone who has lost a friend or family member to suicide–my prayer is that we too, would find comfort and hope in the lives our loved ones lived, and not in the manner of their death. God is gracious and loving above all that we can imagine. Part of the hope and message of this movie for me is that, even if George had jumped at the end, his life was still wonderful in God’s eyes, just as it was to all who knew and loved him..

February 3, 2023 0

When God Uses a “Wasted” Opportunity

God’s ways are NOT our ways. And often, we can become discouraged by things that have happened in our past or things that seem like obstacles in the present. But our vision is limited by both time and space. We can’t see things from the outside looking in, and we can’t see things unfolding before they happen. Instead, we use our imagination, which can give us a vision that is wildly out of perspective.

Take the case of Jonah (see Jonah 1-4). Jonah was given a clear mission from God– go to the great city of Nineveh and give them a message of judgment. Jonah could not “see” the outcome, but he could imagine a lot of things that made him run in the opposite direction! Nineveh was the capital city of his arch-enemies. The Assyrian armies had swept through Jonah’s land, and had very likely killed several of his family members. They were notoriously violent and Jonah must have presumed that there would be great danger involved in traveling into Nineveh, let alone proclaiming a message of certain doom!

Jonah didn’t just ignore God’s command– he went as far as he could in the opposite direction. He wasted the opportunity to see what God had planned, choosing instead to run away. He boarded a ship for Tarshish. He probably thought that God would have to use someone else, or that He would bring judgment upon Nineveh without any warning. At least he, Jonah, would be safe. But God’s ways were not Jonah’s ways. God brought a fierce storm that threatened to sink the ship. The sailors were terrified, but Jonah felt the weight of his guilt. He told the sailors to throw him into the sea, and God would save them from the storm. Though the sailors probably felt they were sending Jonah to his doom, they obeyed. And they were amazed as the storm disappeared! Nothing about Jonah’s words or actions caused these sailors to see God’s glory, but see it, they did. And they worshipped

Jonah missed the opportunity to see how God worked “around” him to amaze the sailors– instead, he got another lesson in how God’s ways were not Jonah’s ways. Jonah may have expected to drown, but God sent a big fish to swallow him, instead. Jonah spent three days inside the fish, being saved from the icy waters of the sea, and transported back to land, where the obedient fish “spit” him out onto the shore.

God did not find someone else to send the message. God did not change His plans. God simply changed Jonah’s situation and gave him a second chance. This time, Jonah obeyed. And God performed another miracle. Instead of killing Jonah or ignoring his warning message from the Lord, the Ninevites believed. And they repented– from the King down to the lowest citizen. God relented and showed mercy in the face of such repentance. Jonah had the opportunity to see God’s mercy and wisdom.

But Jonah wasted this opportunity, as well. Instead of seeing the gracious hand of God at work to change the hearts of his enemies, Jonah only saw that God had not acted with vengeance and harsh judgment. (Later, when the Ninevites returned to their old ways of life, God DID send destruction, but Jonah missed that, too.) In fact, Jonah was angry with God, and threw a temper tantrum as the Ninevites celebrated God’s kindness and mercy. Jonah was a prophet– he very likely had a long career doing God’s work. He probably had many successes, but the Biblical account we have of him tells only of his failure. In spite of that, we can see in the story of Jonah how God can use even failure to bring salvation and redemption to the lost. God’s ways are not our ways!

Today, I want to be encouraged by Jonah’s story. So often, I get bogged down in the mistakes of my past–missed opportunities and failures, things left unsaid, or actions that can’t be undone. It is important that we acknowledge our sins and mistakes; that we do what we can to make amends, and that we repent. But we must also acknowledge God’s power to make all things work together for good (Romans 8:28) and remember that “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.” (Philippians 1:6) Know too, that God knows the plans He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11) even though you and I cannot see the end of the story. God’s ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8); they are higher and Holier. His wisdom and power are infinite, and His plans are ultimately for our Good.

“Wasted” opportunities need not lead to years of guilt and self-torture. Instead, they should be learning experiences that lead us to greater faith, quicker obedience, and greater joy!

November 16, 2022 1

No Condemnation…

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1-2 (NIV)

I looked in the mirror this morning.
There it was again, right in the middle of my forehead…
“Failure.”

The label peeled off. But some residue was left behind.
I could feel it.
Every time I knit my brow,
Every time I tried to smile,
Every time I tried to look up.

I cried out,
“God forgive me. I’m a failure.”
But I thought I had been forgiven before.
Why was I still wearing the label?
Why did it keep coming back?

I looked closer at the label I had thrown away.
“Made in USA.”
Not “Made in Heaven”
Labels are made on Earth.
By other people.
In my own mind.

This time, when I looked up, I couldn’t feel it.
But I saw the others–
Wearing labels, just like me.
“Failure”
“Hateful”
“Unwanted”
“Used”
“Unworthy”

And the labels were all made somewhere on Earth–
“USA”
“Pakistan”
“China”
“Zimbabwe”
“Honduras”

The labels were hard to ignore.
Someone had put them there for all to see.
But what if I could look beyond the labels
And just see the faces?
Look into the eyes of my sister,
And see the beauty God had intended to be there.

Photo by Rodolfo Quiru00f3s on Pexels.com

Father, Help me remember that there is NO Condemnation for those who belong to you. Condemnation comes from others. You are the righteous Judge, NOT the prosecutor. You have the authority to condemn– yet you offer Grace to anyone who will repent. Your only label is a banner of Love that says “Precious to the Lord.” Help me see Your label– whether in the mirror on on the street– whenever I look around.

August 1, 2022 0

Tag: failure