(Please note: This is a post from a couple of years ago, which has been updated and revised…)
Have you ever doubted? Wondered, “Where is God?” Maybe even wondered if He exists at all? And then someone came along and made you feel wicked and small for having such a thought…”How could you!?”
I know there are people who believe that faith is not really faith if you can have moments of doubt– that true faith never wavers, stumbles, or has tough questions. I don’t think this is Biblical, nor do I think this reflects God’s relationship with us. The Bible is full of “faithful” people who had moments of doubt.
Abraham, when told that he would become the father of many nations, believed, and it was counted as righteousness (Genesis 15:6, Hebrews 11:11, Romans 4:3, etc.) Abraham’s faith was so solid, that he was willing to sacrifice his son, Isaac, the son of God’s Promise! Yet Abraham and Sarah acted outside of absolute faith when they brought in Hagar and tried to start a family on their own. God still blessed Hagar and Ishmael, but they were not part of the fulfillment of God’s plan. And over four thousand years of bad blood between the descendants of Isaac and Ishmael are a sad reminder that Abraham did not trust God absolutely and completely.
King David was a “man after God’s own heart.” Yet David wrote often about his feelings of being abandoned or forsaken by God. (See Psalm 10, Psalm 13, and Psalm 22 among others.) Elijah, within hours of a great victory over hundreds of angry priests of Baal, after a miraculous demonstration of God’s power and faithfulness, hid in despair and asked to die, sure that God had abandoned him to his enemies (1 Kings 19).
Most telling is the statement from Jesus Himself on the cross. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:45-46; Mark 15:33-34) Although He was quoting one of King David’s psalms (22:1), the words still ask a very harsh question. Did Jesus Himself doubt God’s presence or His boundless love? (I don’t think so, but it is this kind of statement that often invites condemnation from those who cannot allow for any momentary doubt of any kind.)
I don’t believe any of these moments in the Bible are accidental. I believe God wants us to know that His presence and His faithfulness do not depend on the absolute strength of our faith. I believe it is one of the reasons that Jesus spoke of faith “as small as a mustard seed” (Matthew 17:20). It is not the size or the strength of our faith that determines what God can or will do. It is the size and strength of our faith that causes US to understand what God is doing and to participate more fully with Him. And taking our momentary doubts and questions to God shows a different kind of faith– one that is strong enough to BE tested and triumph. God rewards those who SEEK Him. If we never need to seek, or ask, or knock (See Matthew 7:7), could it be that we are not trusting in Him, but in our own wisdom?
Take heart! Have faith! But don’t be afraid to go through valleys of doubt, or wrestle with difficult questions. And if someone else is struggling–be willing to listen to their doubts and questions, rather than just dismissing them. God does…
I missed posting here last Friday– we were busy planning my mom’s funeral. Mom died last week at the age of 89. We spent most of last week planning how to say our last goodbyes.
Goodbyes are never easy. And those that come with death are painful. We will miss our Mom, Grandma, Great-grandma, friend, cousin, neighbor, aunt, surrogate mom, and all the other roles she filled during her earthly life. We will miss her smile, her warm friendship, her faithfulness, her drive and passion, her energy, and her zest for life and adventure. I used to call or visit her every day. I will never again hear her voice in this life. I will never again hold her hand or share a laugh with her on this side of heaven.
But saying goodbye, for Christians, is NEVER permanent. I have said my very last goodbye to Mom, because someday, I will say “Hello!” to her again. And along with her, I will be welcomed into eternity by the One who created me and loves me even more than Mom did! No more painful partings; no more wondering when I will see her or speak to her again.
She is with so many loved ones to whom she had to say, “goodbye” over the years. And all of them are joyful and secure in the knowledge that there will be no more “goodbyes” in Heaven.
Mom was a prayer warrior, as I have said before. She prayed daily, multiple times a day, lifting up friends, relatives, and even strangers. And I will miss knowing that she is praying for me. But there is Someone Else who is praying for me daily– even constantly! Jesus sits at the right hand of the Father, making intercession for us every moment!
His disciples were in anguish at the thought of having to say “goodbye.” But Jesus told them to be glad, because He would send a comforter, the Holy Spirit, to them after He went away. They said their last “goodbye” to their beloved Teacher, but He didn’t leave them alone to grieve. He left them with a mission to achieve. He also left them with a promise that He was coming back! And this time, He would bring them to their eternal home in Glory!
And Mom has done something similar. She left a legacy of caring and praying and sharing the Gospel. She left hundreds with hope and peace for their future. And now it’s important to carry the baton; to finish our leg of the race, and continue the mission that Jesus passed on to His disciples long ago; the legacy that was passed to Mom, and that she has passed on to us. Someday, all the “last goodbyes” will have been said; all the last bitter tears shed, and we will all celebrate the arrival of God’s Glory. The only thing left to bid “goodbye” will be Sin and Death, grief and mourning.
I thank God for “Last Goodbyes.” Because I know that Goodbye is never the end for those of us who know Christ. We will be sad for awhile, but our grief will be swallowed up in joy and victory! Goodbye, Dear Mom– for now. You are safe and secure. Your prayers have been answered, and ours continue in hope and confidence. Amen!
I wrote last week that my mother was dying. She passed away on Monday afternoon. And since much of my pursuit of prayer is a reflection on the Godly example she set, I thought I should say a few words in honor of her passing from this life to Eternity.
Mom was a prayer warrior. I don’t often use that term, and don’t like to see it overused or misused. Just because someone claims to pray a lot, or just because they are active in church doesn’t make them a prayer warrior. But Mom was one. She battled to be informed of the needs of those around her (and those far away, too!). She wanted to know about every concern, every heartache, every health need, every financial need, every broken relationship– not just out of curiosity, and not for gossip or condemnation– she didn’t want to miss any opportunity to pray for someone else! She wanted to listen and offer comfort, encouragement, and, occasionally, advice.
My mom loved prayer. She loved Bible study and worship, fellowship, missions, and thanksgiving, too, but she was absolutely wild about prayer! She led various Bible studies, Sunday School classes, and Ladies groups during her long and active lifetime, and each one began and ended with prayer– prayer in the preparation, prayer in asking God to direct each meeting, prayer in follow-up–Quick prayers, fervent prayers, joyful prayers and humble prayers.
Mom prayed through her worship. Often a song sung (before she got so she couldn’t sing) was a song offered as a prayer. Even the act of attending church or a wedding or funeral was an act of prayer. She said mealtime grace, morning prayers, and bedtime prayers. Her prayers were simple and sincere. And people knew that Mom prayed. They would seek her out with their requests, knowing that she would offer real support, and not just good intentions.
But what my Mom was most known for was sending greeting cards. And each one was a small prayer– a voluntary act of asking God to bless the person who would be receiving the card. She wanted God to pour out blessing, strength, encouragement, and healing to as many people as possible. Every card was saturated in prayer and appreciation– appreciation for the person, and appreciation for what God could and would do in relation to that person’s life. She sent out around 100,000 cards in her lifetime! Each one was a small act of faith, blessing, encouragement, and love.
Mom wasn’t a “super” Christian. She was an ordinary sinner saved by Grace. She wasn’t particularly gifted with money, time, writing ability or creativity– though she had some resources in each area. But she used them well. She invested in the lives of hundreds of people– time and energy and emotion–through her prayers and actions. Not because she had something to prove or because she wanted to “earn her wings” or she just felt like sending cards. She spent countless hours organizing, gathering information and addresses, and writing out the cards and envelopes each day. But it was a labor of love because she believed that God SO LOVED the world, that He gave His only Begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting Life (John 3:16). Her love for God was a response to His love for her, and His grace toward her…and her love for others was the overflow of the love she had received.
Mom’s passing leaves a great hole. But it also leaves an incredible opportunity. Her legacy is one of simple actions, persistent faith, and willingness to serve. God gave Mom an incredible life– nearly 90 years, and most of them full with abundant opportunities to make new friends, share God’s love, and serve her Savior.
No matter what time we have, may we have a heart to pray for others, and to grasp each opportunity to share God’s abundant and eternal love with those around us. My Mom has finished her race on Earth. It’s time for us to run the next leg!
We spend a lot of time wondering about God’s timing– usually when we are waiting for God to act as we expect! But there are times when God acts before we expect– sometimes before we even ask!
Peter’s situation was dire. Herod had already killed James, the brother of the Apostle John; he was planning to make a spectacle of Peter, likely by having him executed at the time of Passover. In verse 5, we see that earnest prayers were being made for Peter’s rescue. But just a few verses later, when Peter shows up at the prayer meeting, everyone is incredulous– “you are out of your mind,” they told poor Rhoda when she brought the good news. They left Peter standing outside knocking and trying to gain entry to the prayer meeting being held for his rescue!
(Point of clarification— in verse 17, Peter says to “Tell James and the brothers” about his release…this is NOT the James who was martyred, but likely either James the son of Alpheus, or James, the brother of Christ, both of whom were leaders in the early church.)
God’s timing is not our timing– but God is ALWAYS “on time.” This can be difficult for us to accept. We may be waiting for a loved one to be cured, or for an abusive situation to be ended. When it ends in tragedy or death, we feel that God “didn’t show up on time.” But the same can happen when God seems to show up “too early.” We may wonder whether the rescue was really “of God” or just “coincidence.”
We must remember that God is not bound by time the way we are. We see time in one dimension–from the present going backward through the past. We cannot see the future; we cannot see “what might have been.” We cannot see at what moment God’s intervention will have the greatest impact.
The rest of Acts 12 tells the “rest of the story,” one often overlooked. Peter reassured the believers, and then quietly escaped from Jerusalem. The next day, there was a massive search for Peter, which resulted in a sentence of death for the guards who “let him escape.” Herod’s campaign against the early Christ-followers was interrupted by political turmoil. But Herod, in his success and in his arrogance, failed to turn to God. “Immediately an angel of the Lord struck him down, because he did not give God the glory, and he was eaten by worms and breathed his last.” (v.23) The earnest prayers of the believers were answered in a way that far surpassed their expectations– not only was Peter rescued in a miraculous way, but God eliminated one of their fiercest enemies in a dramatic (and graphic) way! Not only that, but “the word of God increased and multiplied.” (v. 24)
Someone might say, “God could have removed Herod from authority long before He did.” Or, “God could have rescued Peter in a different way.” But who can argue that God was “early” or “late” in doing what He did? Who can argue that God “should” have acted differently?
As difficult as it may be to accept in the moment, we can learn to trust God’s timing and His ways. And when we pray, we must remember that God will answer us as He chooses–and it will always be “on time.”
As I write this, my mom is dying. We don’t know how much longer she has, but we’ve asked for prayers as she takes this journey toward death and resurrection. These are sometimes difficult prayers to make. We don’t like to see Mom suffering, but we don’t like the thought of separation through death, either. Our initial prayer would be for complete healing. But that’s not realistic, given that Mom has heart failure and is almost 90 years old. That doesn’t mean that God cannot or would not grant total healing. But we aren’t expecting that kind of miracle when we pray today.
For some people, our prayers seem meaningless. One of my classmates from school reacted to my request for prayer by saying, “I just wish that prayer DID something…” I take this to mean that if we don’t get a miraculous outcome, she believes our prayers are wasted. I hope I’m misinterpreting here, but I know that this is a common criticism of prayer in tough times. It seems that every time there is a natural disaster, or a mass shooting, people who offer “thoughts and prayers” are roundly criticized for praying “instead” of “doing.” As though the two are mutually exclusive. As though prayer is an empty gesture in the face of disaster and distress. As though there is no hope, no comfort, and no help in praying.
There are others who will assert with complete confidence their belief that God will answer any prayer for a miracle, simply because they ask it “in Jesus’ Name” or because many people are praying for the same outcome. I call these kinds of prayers, and attitudes about prayer, “Vending Machine Prayers.” It is the belief that prayer must produce an immediate and positive outcome, or it is “broken” or invalid. If you don’t get what you were expecting, you must have prayed “wrong,” or didn’t have “enough” faith. Or your prayer just didn’t “work.” When someone puts money into a vending machine, and presses a button or punches in a code or pulls a knob, and they don’t get the expected item, some of them will kick the machine, or curse. Or they will try again, carefully trying to get the “right” result. Vending machines are inanimate objects designed to give a satisfactory consumer experience. If the coins or bills “jam,” if the knobs or buttons malfunction, if the product gets “stuck,” or isn’t available, the consumer feels cheated. Sometimes, they can get their money returned, but most often, they go away angry and unfulfilled.
God is not a vending machine. He is not “designed” to serve us or give us satisfaction. There is nothing we can “insert” in our relationship with God –even sincere prayer–that obligates Him to give us what we desire. God chooses to answer prayers in whatever way He knows is best for our eternal and overall well-being. God still gives miracles. I’ve seen it and experienced it. In fact, we could have lost Mom several years ago, when her heart failure put her in a similar state. God provided a miracle in the form of heart valve replacement surgery–and a cancellation that moved her surgery schedule forward before her condition was too far gone. I’ve seen people healed of cancer– and people whose prayers for healing ended in their rapid decline and death. But none of those prayers were wasted. Not one. God was working– sometimes on the sidelines, strengthening family members to deal with grief; sometimes providing testimonies to those with doubts and questions; sometimes planting seeds that would bear fruit years later in the lives of those left behind–sometimes God was working “sideways,” as He did with Mom years ago to give her several more years of life, even though she wasn’t completely healed, to grow and prepare for this next step and testify to God’s sustaining power.
God is not apathetic, and He certainly isn’t “happy” about Mom’s decline and her impending death. He shares our sufferings and our sorrows. But God knows and sees the “rest of the story!” Jesus wept over the death of His friend Lazarus, even though He knew that Lazarus would be raised back to life. Jesus was sharing the deep grief over the loss and sorrow felt by all of His friends, just as He rejoiced with them as Lazarus walked home from the tomb! (See John 11 for the whole story.) God doesn’t delight in death. He is the author of LIFE. But He is very present through every stage of life– even that last bitter taste of death we all must experience. And just as we pray for God’s miraculous presence, we pray for His guiding, comforting, and hopeful presence in ALL situations.
Prayer DOES something! Even if we don’t see immediate changes in situations; prayer changes US. It changes OTHERS. It changes our priorities and perspectives. It draws us close– to each other and to the One whose Love is Eternal and unchanging.
116 I love the Lord, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.
2Â Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.
3 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow.
4 Then called I upon the name of the Lord; O Lord, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.
5 Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.
6 The Lord preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
7 Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee.
8 For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.
9 I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.
10 I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted:
11 I said in my haste, All men are liars.
12 What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits toward me?
13 I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the Lord.
14 I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people.
15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.
16 O Lord, truly I am thy servant; I am thy servant, and the son of thine handmaid: thou hast loosed my bonds.
17 I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the Lord.
18 I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people.
19 In the courts of the Lord’s house, in the midst of thee, O Jerusalem. Praise ye the Lord.
There are dozens, if not hundreds, of people praying for my Mom (and all of us who love her so very much). And probably, there are some “vending machine” prayers among them. That’s ok. God hears them all. And I am so very blessed by them all. Because prayers DO SOMETHING AMAZING. They rise to a God who sees, who hears, and who LOVES unconditionally, eternally, and perfectly! We’re actively trying to do what we can do to make Mom comfortable and seeking treatment that will ease her last days, but we depend on God’s touch, His healing, His timing, and His good will to see us all through and keep us in perfect peace.
What does it look like (or feel like) to pursue consistent, fervent prayer? Is it an endless repetition of the same words? Is it mindless pleading, mixed with angst and flowing tears? Is it rehearsing the same requests over and over in an attempt to “get the right words” that will cause God to act?
No. Jesus addressed this very issue in His Sermon on the Mount, and just before He gave us a wonderful example of how we can pray:
7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
If God already knows our needs, why SHOULD we practice consistent, fervent prayer in the first place? Because God desires to hear our heart cry. When something touches our heart– even though God already feels our sadness, pain, and fear–God wants to SHARE it in personal and intimate detail. What He does not want is for us to use prayer to try to manipulate a particular outcome, or to push our own desires and agenda ahead of His wisdom and sovereign will.
Instead, we should meet with God as our Father, knowing that He knows us, cares for us, and cares about the things that concern us. Consistent, fervent prayer is simply sharing our concerns with a loving God honestly over time.
Whining and “babbling” shows that we don’t trust God’s wisdom. It’s like a toddler, who keeps saying, “Please….pretty please…pretty please with sugar on top…” “But I want it…I REALLY need it… REALLY…”
Saying nothing is no better. It is closing our hearts away from the one who loves us unconditionally. Sometimes, we try to over-spiritualize, saying that because God already knows our needs, we need not mention them again.
We need to find a middle ground. We need to be humble enough to say that we need God’s help and His wisdom, and huble enough to accept that His ways and timing are not the same as ours.
So what DOES it look like? Probably a little different for each person, but I think there are some guidelines:
Consistent prayer means that we pray every day, throughout the day. About everything! Not just obsessively about our worries or needs, but about our joys and sorrows, as well as our questions, wonders, adoration, praise and confessions. Much like speaking with our best friends–the best ones are willing to listen to the same story about our cat even if we’ve told it twice before. They will cry with us next week as we share our continuing frustration with a rebellious teen or our parent’s journey with dementia. The difference is that God has a purpose and a plan in sharing our grief and our weakness beyond anything we can imagine. He is the “God of all Comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5) as well as a God of healing.
Fervent prayer isn’t just anguished prayer or dramatic, emotional prayer. It is intensely humble and full of faith. The Apostle James gives an excellent example in chapter 5 of his epistle: 17 Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. 18 Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops. (James 5:17-18 NIV) When Elijah faced the pagan prophets of Baal and Asherah, he prayed fervently, but he left the drama to the others. Elijah chided the prophets of Baal, because they prayed with raving, shouting, dancing, and cutting themselves in an effort to get Baal to hear them. Elijah’s prayer, while simple, was answered immediately and with dramatic effect. This wasn’t just a show of God’s awesome power through His chosen prophet. It was also a clear sign that Elijah was in constant communication with the One True God. He didn’t have to “get God’s attention.” He knew God was right there with Him. (See 1 Kings 18 for the whole story.)
Consistent, fervent prayer is part of a journey, not a destination. The same Elijah who was able to call down fire from Heaven, ran and hid in a cave and prayed to die! God wants us to pursue prayer the same way we pursue righteousness– knowing that God is the source of our wisdom and strength. He wants our anguished prayers as well as our prayers prayed in absolute trust– He wants them all!
I find it helpful in my personal prayer to have a journal. In it, I keep a list of people and places, concerns and requests. Each day of the week, I have a focus point for my prayers, and a list of specific people to lift up, plus a place for immediate and ongoing concerns. This does the following for me:
It allows me to put concerns into perspective. On Mondays, I concentrate on family and friends. That doesn’t mean that I don’t pray for my family on other days, but Mondays are focused on family and friends. On Wednesday, I concentrate on praying for my community. On Thursdays, I pray for global issues. This doesn’t preclude urgent requests or needs, but it keeps me from obsessing about some concerns at the expense of others. And it reminds me that God is the God of my family, AND my community, AND those suffering from a recent earthquake or famine.
A Prayer Journal gives me a place to write out my requests. Sometimes, seeing it in writing reminds me that God already knows– my concerns are written on His heart! No need to use the same words over and over again–but God may want to hear how MY heart has changed since I wrote the request. Maybe I have new information that changes my outlook. Maybe I can see how God is already working in the situation…which brings up another advantage of journaling:
I have a space in my prayer journal for answered prayer. Sometimes, I’m praying for someone from my church with a health issue. I can come back and write out God’s response– maybe He provided miraculous healing; maybe He took them “home.” Maybe He is causing them to travel a long road — giving them opportunities to bear witness to His faithfulness in every situation. Perhaps He is causing their family or caregivers to see Him in a new way!
Finally, a Prayer Journal helps me to be more consistent. I can turn to it every day for prompts and reminders of God’s love and faithfulness. God IS Fervent and Consistent– He is Faithful, and His Love is limitless. And He is the one who can teach me to be the same!
Being a Christian is less about cautiously avoiding sin than about courageously and actively doing God’s will.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor and writer who ended up sacrificing his life as he protested the Nazi regime in his homeland. Many of the things he wrote are uncomfortable for modern Christians to read. Sometimes, we want to coast along, joyfully celebrating our own Salvation, and ignoring the evil around us. After all, the ultimate victory is already won in Christ, isn’t it?
I write a lot about the power of prayer. And I stand behind what I write. But a life of prayer and Bible Study that doesn’t result in actively living out and spreading the Gospel is a life of lukewarm and selective obedience. This is not to say that we should skitter around trying to earn our Salvation with random acts and self-righteous crusades. But we must have the courage to “come out of the closet” as Christians in a dark and unfriendly world.
What does this look like? Does it mean wearing a badge or getting in people’s faces with “the Truth.” Perhaps. But mostly, it means every day living out the kind of love and truth that Jesus demonstrated. Jesus didn’t march in protests, hand out pamphlets with convicting messages, or start arguments to humiliate atheists in front of crowds. But He didn’t back down in the face of arguments and tough questions asked by His opponents. He ate with sinners– but He didn’t wink at their sin, or send them away reassured that they were “good enough” to please God. He went where God sent, spoke God’s Truth, and DID God’s work.
Jesus wasn’t a writer; He wasn’t a professor of Theology, or an elected official. The Pharisees were constantly frustrated with His lack of “credentials.” But their frustration came because Jesus spoke with the kind of authority they could never achieve– Jesus was authentic. He spoke, not from cold and lofty intelligence, but from wisdom and love. And Jesus didn’t just speak. He served. He listened. He lived out all that He spoke. He “courageously and actively” DID the will of the Father.
Jesus prayed and studied scripture. Jesus spent time alone communing with the Father. He spent time in rest. He spent time being social with His family and friends. But in every activity, He wove in the Truth of God’s word. And crowds followed Him. They wanted to listen, even as He spoke uncomfortable truths. And some of them came to love Him. Others came to hate Him, and even kill him.
We can’t be true followers of Christ and not risk being mocked, and hated. We WILL be misunderstood, laughed at, persecuted, ignored, and inconvenienced. We should not invite this with obnoxious or arrogant behavior. But we must not shrink away from it when it comes at us, or try to avoid it by being silent in the face of evil and injustice.
One of the recent charges leveled against Christians is that we meet evil with “thoughts and prayers” but little action. We must be wise and careful with such charges. Often, the taunt is thrown at us in an effort to get us to take a specific, ungodly “action” INSTEAD of praying. But we must honestly examine ourselves and ask what Godly actions SHOULD I be taking to make a difference? What actions should I be denouncing as ungodly, even if they are popular and seem to be “right?” And what must I do to defend the power of prayer in the face of ridicule?
One of the other charges leveled against Christians is that we are “intolerant.” Again, we need to be wise and careful in answering this charge. Are we quick to judge others, while giving ourselves a “pat on the back” for merely avoiding a particular sin or sinful lifestyle? What is if about our life and work that makes others see us as “intolerant?” Are we exclusive and prejudiced in our interactions? Or are we humble in presenting the truth of God’s word? Do we speak from a need to defend our own actions or from a desire to help others? Are others offended by our words and actions, or by the truth of God as it convicts them?
I got a scam phone call the other day. The lady on the other end started the conversation by saying something like, “Hello. My name is Jane, and I’m calling from the Business Lending Department. How are you today?” Her voice was pleasant, and her question innocuous, yet my “radar” went off, and I hung up the phone, rather than answering her question.
I answered the phone by saying, “Hello” and the name of my little shop. It’s a business phone number, and I get many calls from customers, and from salespeople as well. Usually, as soon as I say my greeting, they jump right in with their request, or their name and request, i.e. “This is Sharon. I was in the other day, and I was wondering about…” or “This is Matt from (Name of my insurance agency), and I need to speak with you about a change in your coverage.” A business person may occasionally say something like, “I hope you’re doing well today.” or “Is this a good time to talk?” A friendly customer or a friend will often ask, “How are you?” or “How are things going?” But this was different. There was a long pause, which seemed odd, as though the call might be from far away. The phone number that came up on caller ID was not from a local area code and didn’t include a state listing or a company name (Pennsylvania or Wyoming, State Farm, or Citibank, etc.) This can happen with cell phone calls, but it can also be an indication that the call is coming from a hidden number. “Jane,” while she sounded pleasant, also sounded like she was reading from a script. “My name is Jane” indicated that she was not someone I would have met before, and “How are you today?” sounds like the opening line from a stranger’s sales pitch.
I have read articles about scam calls. One of the first things they do is ask an innocuous question like, “Can you hear me, ok?” It seems like a simple, silly, harmless question, but if they ask you a Yes/No question, and you say “Yes,” they can record your answer and use it to “prove” that you agreed to a product or program by phone– even if you didn’t. “How are you today?” isn’t a Yes/No question, but it is the kind of question most people will answer without thinking, and it naturally leads to other seemingly innocuous questions, like “Can you hear me?” Call me hyper-cynical or super-suspicious, but these questions seem– from a complete stranger– like “set ups” to me after reading about how they are sometimes used.
“Jane” is such a common and unassuming name. I have friends named Jane. One of my favorite novels is “Jane Eyre.” I love reading books about Miss Jane Marple, the unassuming, crime solving spinster of the equally unassuming village of St. Mary Mead. She was just “Jane.” Not Jane Torquist, or Jane Sullivan, or Jane Suzuki. And “just Jane” was calling from “the Business Lending Department.” Not the business lending department of a particular bank or business group. Not Wells Fargo, or Chase, or even a local banking chain. Not Visa or American Express. Just “the Business Lending Department.” Again, call me paranoid, but that set all my alarm bells ringing.
After I hung up, I felt bad. Hanging up–even when I suspected the call was far from innocent–seems very rude. “Jane” had been very pleasant. It felt churlish and even cowardly to hang up on her. I started stewing. I don’t like to think of myself as rude, churlish, or cowardly. After all, what would Jesus do, right? So I prayed for forgiveness, even though I wasn’t sure precisely what I had done wrong.
And God answered my prayer immediately. “Jane.” The woman had given her name as “Jane.” I have a friend named Jane who is going through a tough time right now. I have been praying for her for weeks. Had I prayed for her today? Not yet! God had sent me a reminder of my friend Jane via a scam call! Aren’t God’s ways mysterious and magnificent?! He also gave me a great idea to help me be at peace about the phone call. I thought, “if “Jane” ever calls back, I’m not going to answer her question, and play a passive role in the conversation. I will simply ask her what company she works for, and how SHE is today!”
And guess what! About an hour later, “Jane” called back. The call started exactly like the earlier call. The script was exactly the same– the same pause, the same wording. So when she asked, “How are you today?” I simply asked her, “which company do you work for? You said you are calling from the Business Lending Department, but which one?” And this time, SHE hung up! I had been right to be suspicious– right to stand my ground and not get involved in a scam– on any level.
Such a simple encounter, but so many lessons to be learned:
God answers “little” prayers; “awkward” prayers; He answers earnest and simple prayers when we just don’t even know what to pray or why. Things that seem silly (like whether or not I seemed rude or cowardly to a scam artist!) are never too silly or unimportant to take to the very Throne of Grace.
God uses simple things to call our attention to bigger things. This woman could have chosen any name, but she said her name was Jane, and I believe that was God-ordained, to remind me to lift up my dear friend– to move my mind from something silly, like a phone scam, to something infinitely more important, like thanking God for Jane’s friendship over the years, and sharing in her immediate concerns.
God teaches us to recognize authenticity– and insincerity–as we follow Him. My “alarm bells” went off almost immediately when I answered this phone call. Why? Even though “Jane” was pleasant, she didn’t seem authentic. She used words and phrases that seemed friendly and harmless on the surface, but the delivery just seemed “off.” The same thing can happen when I read an on-line article, or listen to an advertisement, or even get involved in conversations. God sends us a spirit of Discernment that is sharper than just “being savvy.” But it comes from Him– not our own intelligence or listening to “smart people.” I know this because I know people who are acknowledged as “intelligent” who fall for amazingly stupid schemes and make appallingly bad life choices, while others who are called “simple” avoid such things without even being able to explain how. It reminds me of a story about a famous pianist practicing a complicated piece. She was playing along and suddenly stopped, saying she had missed a single note. “How can you tell?,” asked her friend who was standing nearby. “Your fingers are flying over the keys. How can you tell that you missed anything. The piece sounded fine to me.” “But I practice hours each day. I’ve heard myself play this piece hundreds of times correctly. I know what it SHOULD sound like. And this time, I missed a note.” When we practice listening to God’s voice– whether in the Bible, or in our conscience, or in the advice of others, we learn to hear “what it SHOULD sound like!”
God teaches us wisdom, and gives us “second chances” to put it into practice. Jesus faced malicious Pharisees who tried to trick Him with seemingly innocuous questions. They came to Him with polite but false flattery, and tried to catch Him “off guard.” Jesus generally responded by asking them simple questions in return– questions that often exposed their real motives. He didn’t lose His temper; He didn’t passively fall into their traps. He didn’t walk away without an answer, either.
God can use “bad” experiences to teach us good things. He is teaching me to recognize a “scam” when I start to hear it. But (hopefully) He is also teaching me to speak and act more authentically myself! How often do I ask someone “How are you today?” not because I actually want to hear the answer, but because it is the “polite” thing to do? How often do I ask seemingly harmless questions without thinking? My words can bring healing– or suspicion, harm, or confusion. Jesus asked some probing questions, but always with the intent of helping others see the truth.
Lord, I am so thankful for the lessons you give us– even in the simplest situations in the midst of our busy lives. Help me to listen for your voice– even when “Jane” is on the line. What an amazing and wise God you are!
I won’t waste space to analyze all that I think is wrong with this scenario– but I will say the following:
$2,500 is a lot of money for most Americans, let alone many others around the world It’s more than most people spend in a month for groceries, utilities, and more, let alone one meal.
Talk is (according to the old phrase) cheap.
If having difficult talks over a plate of overpriced pasta and wine could really solve major problems, I’m shocked that we still have so many problems in the world!
I’m dismayed by this article. I hope that some good comes from these efforts, but I don’t expect such tactics to end racism, bigotry, or ignorance. These women are paying for a privilege on top of all their other privileges– the right to feel righteous and “woke” to lingering problems that have never personally touched them. It would not occur to them to invite 10 women who don’t look like them, don’t live like them, don’t speak like them, and don’t dress like them to come and share their dinner. They would not share their hospitality, their fine china, or their fancy dessert with a working-class woman with olive skin and an accent, or a single mother fighting to make ends meet and losing the battle– of any skin color. They might give another $2,500 to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen across town– they would not befriend anyone who needed those services, however.
Most importantly, they are likely to believe that by “owning” their prejudices for an hour, they are absolved of their responsibility to “love their neighbor as themselves.” They can be comfortable in the belief that their feelings “do them credit” and make them better than others who “are in denial” about their “subconscious biases” and “micro-aggressions” toward the people with whom they interact (or routinely ignore). They may take high-minded actions to force the government to “deal with” people less fortunate than they, but they will take no steps to get involved personally with the families who suffer from injustice and poverty just outside the gates of their exclusive communities.
But another more insidious problem with the article is the way I can choose to respond to it. Articles like this are designed (on some level) to create anger, division, and a sense of disgust toward those who are considered “privileged.” I look at the hypocrisy outlined in this article, and I may assume that “privileged” rich white people are all alike. I may assume that the “problem” is their affluence and their indifference– that if they could be “made to” care more, or made to pay “their fair share”, poverty would disappear, and with it, prejudice and other issues that separate the “privileged” from the “rest of us.”
But poverty, prejudice, injustice, and other issues are symptoms of a much greater problem– Sin. And Sin is a problem that can never be solved by sitting down over a meal or writing a large check or even learning empathy with others who suffer. In one very large sense, we all are “paying a price” for Sin. We live in a broken world, where Sin and its effects are felt by all. Even wealthy, healthy, “privileged” people suffer heartache, betrayal, loneliness, confusion, addiction, and loss. None of us has the “privilege” of being untouched by Sin.
And while each of us can and should be active in helping to mitigate the effects of Sin, we cannot eliminate them. We can never “pay” enough to make Sin and its consequences “go away.” Only the shed blood of Jesus Christ can do that. The real “privilege” in life is not great wealth, or social standing. It isn’t comfort and the ability to shell out a month’s wages for a single uncomfortable meal. It isn’t the temporary feeling of being more “virtuous” than one’s neighbor–and that brings me to reflect on my own actions and beliefs.
What “privileges” do I take for granted? What makes me feel “virtuous?” What makes me feel guilty or ashamed, that I would “pay” to have someone else make me feel “enlightened?” Jesus doesn’t call me to “feel” virtuous. He calls me to follow Him and become more virtuous. He has already paid far more than a month’s wages (or even a lifetime’s wages) to redeem me from Sin’s curse, and allow me to live with peace and joy– no matter my financial or social circumstances! I have the very real “privilege” of knowing Him! And so can anyone else who puts their trust in Him. Through Him, we have riches that cannot be sold, bought, lost, or traded. But they can be shared! I cannot rid the world of poverty, prejudice, greed, injustice, or death. But I can help others find strength, hope, relief, and joy in their journey, as I point them to the Savior. I can’t give a thousand dollars, but I can give a few dollars to a local food bank, or volunteer time to help others. I can share food or water or clothes with someone who is in need just down the street. I can listen to someone who needs a friend, and I can offer to serve where someone needs a helping hand. I can also give the benefit of a doubt instead of harsh judgment– even to those who seem hypocritical or “unenlightened” in their earthly “privilege.”
Lord, my prayer today is that I would pour out compassion– even on the ladies in this article–and on all who need it most. Your heart is that all of us would live in peace and lovingkindness. Help me to see my neighbors as you see them–ALL my neighbors. All the time.
The real privilege is not of wealth or comfort. The real privilege is to learn to love and be loved as Jesus loves– freely, sacrificially, whole-heartedly and without limit. May we celebrate in that privilege today.
You are Trustworthy True Righteous Glorious and Worthy of Praise.
Nothing escapes Your notice. Nothing surprises You. Nothing frustrates or puzzles You Nothing is too difficult or too messy or too broken For You to LOVE To Change To Cherish
Pursuing Prayer 