Tag: family

Hannah and Her Rival

Hannah is a Bible heroine. Her story is an inspiration to many women who suffer, whether from infertility, depression, or being misunderstood. Hannah is a popular girl’s name.
Peninnah, on the other hand, is a name you rarely hear today. No one wants to name their child after a bully, and a rival to a Biblical matriarch.

As we read through the story in 1 Samuel, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+1&version=NIV it seems hard enough that Hannah is barren. Especially as it is revealed that God is responsible for her condition. It seems unfair and harsh. But her trouble doesn’t end there. She has a rival–Elkanah’s other wife– who provokes, irritates, and taunts her, making her cry and keeping her in a state of anguish and stress. Peninnah has many children. She has reason to be joyful and proud. Yet she spends her time harassing and hurting Hannah, a woman who is already “beneath” her in society.

Rivalries tend to bring out the worst in us. Catfights, gossip, taunting, undermining others–books, movies, and even TV series have been built on such pettiness. Whether rivals at school, rivals in romantic relationships, rivals in business, or rivals in our own inflated egos, we allow our world to be narrowed to focus on two people who don’t even exist! We magnify our rival’s faults, twist her motives, and hold grudges over what she “probably” meant when she said “that.” And we justify our overreactions, our grievances, and our tendency to see ourselves as innocent victims.

In the case of Hannah and Peninnah, their world was already small. They were sharing a husband and a household, and likely somewhat isolated from the kind of society with which we are familiar. We live in societies where polygamy is illegal and wives do not (generally) live together. Our families tend to live in single units of husband, wife, and children. However, we also live in a society where fidelity is becoming more rare. Marriages break down, couple break up, and “sharing” a husband, if not a household, is more common than we might admit. Even in divorce and remarriage, we may find a rival in our husband’s ex-wife, or our ex-husband’s new partner, or our partner’s ex-mother-in-law (or our current mother-in-law) or among our step-children.

Elkanah is not an innocent bystander in all this. We don’t know why he has two wives, and the Bible doesn’t say that Elkanah did NOT love Peninnah, but it makes a point of saying that Elkanah DID love Hannah (suggesting that he might have been indifferent to his other wife). Also, the Bible is silent about whether or not Elkanah was aware of the rivalry going on under his roof. He seems totally oblivious and largely absent. Even though he loves Hannah, he doesn’t take care to protect her from Peninnah’s spite.
Once again, we find parallels in our own situations– husbands who feel overwhelmed or blind-sided by the rivalries going on around them; husbands who ignore the firestorms; even men who revel in being the focus of so much attention.

But, before we label Peninnah the great villain of this story (or turn our anger on Elkanah for letting their rivalry continue), let’s be careful not to rush to judgment. The Bible doesn’t call Peninnah a villain, merely a rival. It says that she provoked Hannah, and taunted her, and even made her cry. However, the story is focused on Hannah. Her reaction to this taunting was to do what so many of us do– to let it heap up on her and push her down into anguish. Hannah doesn’t fight back. But neither does she stand up to her rival. If Peninnah is trying to make Hannah feel worthless and depressed, she succeeds because Hannah allows herself to believe it.

I think there are several key lessons here, and I think God tells us the whole story because He wants us to see these lessons:

  • Rivalries and conflicts WILL arise in our lives. We shouldn’t pretend otherwise or refuse to deal with them. If you have a rival in your life at this moment, stop and think of ways you can seek peace. Pray, reach out, seek help. This is especially important where children are involved. If you have a rivalry with in-laws, ex-spouses, your children’s step-parents, it WILL impact all your relationships. It will be the way your children learn to relate to others. Whether you are the “bully” or the “middle man” or the “doormat”, you have a responsibility to make an effort to restore harmony. You cannot change the other person, but you can (with God’s help) change the way you build your legacy. And God can change everyone involved.
  • While Hannah did well not to react to Peninnah with her own spite and malice, she let her rival “win” by saying and doing nothing. Jesus teaches us that we are not to ignore those who hate or despise us, but to love them and pray for them. Hannah could have offered to reach out to Peninnah and her children, but she remained isolated. Maybe that was because of Peninnah’s actions or bitterness, but the Bible doesn’t say that Hannah made any effort to end this rivalry, either. She didn’t seek help from her loving husband, and she didn’t seek help from her loving God until she was at the end of her rope.
  • Spite, malice, bitterness, or even self-righteousness (or whatever else may have prompted Peninnah’s nastiness) not only hurts others, it hurts us and blinds us to the opportunity to do good. Peninnah had many children and lived in the same household with Hannah. Instead of taunting her and causing her grief, she could have opened up her heart to allow for a happy, unified family. Peninnah’s hurtful actions are her legacy to every generation that reads this story. She may have been a wonderful mom, a talented women, a real beauty– but she will always be known as the rival who made Hannah miserable. Our actions, even in our own household, have eternal consequences. Small acts of pettiness and spite can follow us for the rest of our lives, destroying our reputations, and blotting out all our other “good works”.
  • Our abilities, skills, talents, status, or fertility DO NOT define our worth. God closed Hannah’s womb– he never closed His heart toward her. He gave her a husband who loved her and provided for her. He kept his eyes on her until the time was right to bless her in a supernatural way. God had opened Peninnah’s womb, but she kept her heart closed, and bragged about her children as though she alone were responsible for them. God had provided Peninnah with a husband who provided for her and created a family with her. She had children and a secure home, and reason to sacrifice to God with thanksgiving, yet her focus, even during her visit to the tabernacle, seems to have stayed on destroying her rival.
  • What makes Hannah a heroine in this story is NOT the way she bears up under bullying. Even though she didn’t get sucked into anger and malice, she fell victim to despair and depression. Hannah’s victory comes ONLY after she turns everything over to God in prayer. Peninnah’s pettiness is crushed by God’s miraculous provision.
  • We should also learn from Peninnah’s actions. Peninnah, even though she has been blessed with children, watches as her husband gives a double portion to his “other” wife– because he loves her. The Bible doesn’t say that he loves Hannah more or better than Peninnah, but Peninnah seems to be resentful of whatever love he gives to anyone else. How often am I envious of someone without considering the pain or grief they may be experiencing? How often do I provoke others by “showing off” my blessings or rubbing in what I perceive to be God’s favor? God loved Peninnah. He blessed her with a loving husband and children. But she seems to be ungracious and mean-spirited. Am I a secret “bully” to others, instead of seeing them as precious and loved by our Heavenly Father?

God’s love can change relationships and rivalries. God’s blessings are “enough.” And when we focus on God’s provision, instead of our rivals’ provocation, we will experience peace and productivity. That’s what happened for Hannah. May this be true in our lives, too– That we would turn to God, and replace bitterness, pettiness, pain and rivalry with His joy, fulfillment, and grace.

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The Ghost of Christmas Present

If you missed my last blog post, I’m looking at the story of A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens. It may not seem like a “jolly” Christmas story, or even a “religious” story, but it is “spiritual.” Ebenezer Scrooge is literally haunted by three spirits over the course of Christmas Eve. Last time, I spoke of the Ghost of Christmas Past. Today, I’d like to look at the Ghost of Christmas Present.

I know, Christmas was a few days ago– we’re currently at the cusp of New Year’s Eve, but these few days between Christmas and New Year’s Day can often feel jumbled up and run together. And, traditionally, the Christmas season is not just one day, but twelve days, stretching from December 25 to January 6. So today is still technically part of “Christmas.”

In “A Christmas Carol”, Scrooge is actually visited by four spirits. The first is the ghost of his old friend, Jacob Marley, who offers Scrooge both a dire warning, and a chance of redemption. Scrooge has already been visited by Marley, and by the ghost of Christmas past– a look at the moments and people who have shaped Scrooge’s life up to the present. Scrooge has seen both happiness and tragedy in his life, but the “light of truth” carried by the first ghost has shown how Scrooge has rejected happiness, instead embracing a life of fear, loneliness, and greed.

The next spirit, the Ghost of Christmas Present, focuses less of Scrooge himself, and more on the people he has ignored or rejected. This spirit shows Scrooge what he is missing by hoarding his wealth and isolating himself from the rest of the world. It is a picture that many of us would do well to study!

One of the first stops is the home of Bob Cratchit, Scrooge’s underpaid, put-upon clerk. Scrooge makes use of Bob’s time and skills, without ever showing any interest in him as a person. Scrooge is oblivious to Bob’s existence outside of the counting house. He assumes that Bob has a family, but he has no idea who makes up that family. The Ghost of Christmas Present forces Scrooge to see that Bob and his wife have several children, including a sickly and crippled son named Tiny Tim. Though they have very little money (thanks in part to Bob’s meager wages!), they have plenty of love and happiness. Scrooge fears many things that may happen, while his clerk faces very real fears that “haunt” him every day. Yet Bob does not complain, does not exhibit bitterness, and does not hide away from the world.

Next, the ghost takes Scrooge to see his nephew. Scrooge keeps his nephew at a distance because of his bitterness and fear. But in doing so, he is missing out on his nephew’s kindness, wit, and warm circle of friends. Scrooge has treated his nephew with disdain, fearing that the younger man is jealous of all his riches. But the ghost shows Scrooge that his nephew actually feels sorry for his uncle. Again, Scrooge has great wealth, but his nephew is content, and even very happy with his lower station in life. He loves his wife and enjoys friendships that make him wealthier in many ways than his uncle!

Finally, the ghost of Christmas Present shows Scrooge a sight he would never willingly see– the suffering and neediness of the poor, whom Scrooge has sneeringly consigned to death. Rather than seeing humanity, Scrooge sees only people who might drain him of his wealth– the undeserving poor who “cost more than they are worth.” The ghost reminds Scrooge of an earlier off-handed remark about helping those who would rather die than go to workhouses: “If they’d rather die, then let them do it–and decrease the surplus population!” The ghost warns Scrooge that he should be very careful in declaring who is among the ‘surplus population’. In heaven’s eyes, Ebenezer Scrooge himself might have less worth than ‘the least of these.’

 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, and sisters you did it to me.’ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger, and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ (Matthew 25:40-45 ESV)

Scrooge’s feelings and senses are overwhelmed by what he experiences. The present surrounds him– the sights, the smells, the laughter, the cold of a dark winter’s night, and the heat from a roaring fireplace; the stench of the docks and homeless camps, and the aromas of Christmas dinner; the colors and lights of decorations, toys, and costumes; the ringing of bells, and the singing of Christmas Carols. Once again, Scrooge can hear music and laughter, he can sense the love and compassion, but he can only participate on the periphery. The music haunts him, but it comes from others, not from his own frozen heart.

So, what happens to us in this Christmas present? Do we feel connected to the joy and gratitude, the love and hope of the season? Or are we isolated by worry, frozen in fear, enslaved by anger or greed? Christmas is often a time of great sadness and loneliness. And sometimes, the laughter and the lights seem hollow and fake. Especially in the days just after Christmas, we can feel let down, abandoned by the promise of merriment and fulfillment brought by parties and gifts and feasting and entertainment. Outside, the winter is still cold, the bills keep coming in the mail, and fears and worries cloud our days. Some of our fears are very real– disease, grief, loss, sudden changes in circumstances and relationships–Christmas lights and music alone cannot cut through the fog.

My prayer for today, and for the New Year at our doorstep, is that we would open our ears and eyes and hearts to what is around us– acknowledge that we live in a fallen and often worrisome world, but recognize that there are opportunities all around us, as well. We don’t have to isolate. We don’t have to live in constant fear. Christmas isn’t just a day; it isn’t just a season– Christmas is about Christ coming to dwell with us!

Open your ears! Listen to the music of the season– “Peace on Earth! Good Will to Mankind!” “JOY to the World! The LORD has come!” “Let Heaven and Nature Sing!” “Glory to the Newborn King!” Keep listening to the promises of God’s Word– “Never will I leave you nor forsake you!” “Lo, I am with you always!”

Open your eyes– see the wonderful opportunities to share both joy and sadness with others. Seek out the great opportunities to give and receive help and love and fellowship! See the good things that the LORD has done– the friendships and family in your life; the beauty of nature, the ‘wonder of His Love!’.

Open your heart– Receive the greatest Gift! Redemption; new birth; eternal and abundant Life! Choose life and gratitude and humility. Practice childlike faith, hope, and JOY!

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The Ghost of Christmas Past

Charles Dickens wrote “A Christmas Carol”– a (literally) haunting tale of greed, bitterness, and, in the end, redemption. Set in Victorian England, the story involves a miser named Scrooge, his business partner, Marley, who has been dead for seven years, and three mysterious spirits: The Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present, and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come…

Scrooge and Marley

Scrooge doesn’t really hate Christmas. He considers it a Humbug– an annoying and worthless distraction from the “reality” of making money. What bothers Scrooge– what eats at him and rules his actions– is the fear of poverty and powerlessness. He avoids relationships so that he cannot be hurt or abandoned. He avoids spending money– even for common comforts like coal to heat his office–for fear that he will fall into poverty. He does not like people because he will not trust anyone enough to risk getting hurt or used.

Scrooge’s only “friend,” his former partner Marley, lived by similar principles during his lifetime. He “visits” Scrooge on Christmas Eve to warn him of the fate that awaits those who fail to realize that there is more to life than making and keeping money. “Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, benevolence, were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!” Marley has managed to arrange for Scrooge to be haunted by memories of the past, visions of the present, and shadows of what may be in the future.

The first of these “spirits” reminds Scrooge of Christmases from his childhood and early adulthood. Some of the memories are sad– Scrooge is left to spend the holiday alone at school, as his cold and distant father refuses to show him love, mercy, or guidance. Later, Scrooge is reminded of how his decision to pursue wealth alienated the woman he could have married. But there are happier memories, too. His first boss, Mr. Fezziwig, brought happiness and a sense of camaraderie and purpose to Scrooge’s early employment. He celebrated both hard work and the joy of fellowship with his employees. Scrooge sees visions of his beloved sister and is reminded that he has a family (his sister’s son) with whom he could make and share happy memories– if only he would choose to do so.

I will write about the other visitations later, but I want to camp out here for a little bit.

What memories would the Ghost of Christmas Past bring to me? To you? Are there sad or painful memories of Christmases without loved ones? Christmases that included anger or rejection? Christmases spent with poverty, uncertainty, or sickness? Would you feel bitterness? Fear? Guilt? Regret? Or would there be nostalgia for days gone by? Longing for family members who have passed? Questions about what might have been?

It is tempting sometimes to shove our memories of Christmas past in a closet or an old trunk and try to forget them. In Dickens’ story, Scrooge ends up desperately trying to snuff out the light of Truth that the spirit is holding. He doesn’t want to remember; doesn’t want to know or deal with the pain and loss of his past.

But before we can truly live in the present, we must confront the past. We do not have to live there. Our memories– good and bad– are but shadows of the things that have been. But they can cast long and devastating shadows if we let them. Denying past pain or trauma can give us a false sense of control. Burying ourselves in work or pleasure or entertainment may feel like a solution. Being cautious and angry and cynical may seem like wisdom. We can blame others, blame ourselves, even blame God for our feelings of hurt and fear of being hurt again and again. OR we can, with the light of truth, revisit our past. We can discover the healing power of redemption and forgiveness. We can– we must– still acknowledge the pain, the injustice, the grief that lies on our past. But we also must see that the shadows of the past only fall behind us. However the past may have shaped us, damaged us, challenged us, or forged us, the present and the future can be turned in a new direction.

And that is possible because of Christmas– because of Christ!

When Scrooge first visits his past with the Ghost of Christmas Past, the first image he experiences is of his classmates from school riding in sleighs and wagons singing Christmas carols. Singing! He could not join in. As an adult he has chosen not to join others as they sing of the wonder of Christ’s birth. But the carols echo– their message endures! Christ is Born! Glory to the Newborn King!

My prayer today is that Christmas past holds some happy memories for you. But the very Good News of Christmas is that it isn’t just about the past. And our past Christmases don’t have to haunt us. Because the Light of Truth– The True Light of the World (John 1:9) –that came on that first Christmas so long ago leads the way forward!

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Cowardly Prayer

But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Matthew 6:6 (ESV)

Prayer can sometimes seem like a cowardly action. It seems passive; it relies on faith and, often, patience. We connect courage to action– courageous people DO something; cowards sit on the sidelines or hide in their closets. Yet Jesus told His disciples to go into their rooms or closets, close the door, and pray in secret. Jesus himself often went out into the desert to pray alone. Jesus’s ministry was filled with passive moments. He spoke, or he walked along from town to town. He stopped to heal people by touching them or speaking to them. He rarely raised his voice or let his temper show. He allowed himself to be arrested, tried, sentenced, beaten, and crucified, without making a vigorous defense or protesting his horrific and unjust treatment. On the cross, his one impassioned outburst was a prayer to His Father–“My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34)

We don’t think of Jesus as a coward. Yet, we often sneer at Christians who spend more time praying and less time “doing.” Being active is not a bad thing. Jesus commanded His disciples with many active words– “GO,” “teach,” “feed My sheep.” And there are busy people who are courageous in their own way. They go into dangerous places to preach the Gospel. They risk their health and safety to reach the lost with the Good News that Jesus Saves! They stand firm for the truth, and they defend it with vigor and passion. But Jesus also commanded His disciples to “Follow Me.” That means that we need to look at and model our lives after the ways that Jesus responded to various situations, and how He lived. The question we often ask is “what would Jesus do?” But the real question we should ask is “what did Jesus DO?”

Jesus prayed. He prayed for people; He prayed with people; and He prayed alone for hours and even days. And Jesus prayed courageous prayers. He didn’t pray “safe” prayers. Even His anguished prayer in the garden ended with courageous and humble resignation– “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42) Jesus also engaged lovingly and personally with the kinds of people that others ignored or wrote off or dismissed as broken, damaged, or irredeemable.

Just this week, a young Christian apologist and conservative speaker, Charlie Kirk, was assassinated. He was well-known and admired (or detested) for speaking up about family values, and Christian principles on American college campuses. He often faced hostile critics and smug detractors– atheists, anarchists, and those who called him a racist, a homophobe/transphobe, a bigot, and a “hater.” I never met Mr. Kirk. I watched some of the videos his group posted of him patiently and passionately arguing for marriage, faith, morality, hard work, ethical behavior, and national issues like immigration reform, tariffs, and foreign policy matters. I respected much of what he said, and some of how he said it. One of the things I most respected was his commitment to listening and asking questions, instead of merely attacking. But the most amazing thing about Mr. Kirk was his passionate and outspoken commitment to Jesus Christ. His faith was the center of everything he said, and in the way he interacted with supporters and detractors alike. He did not shy away from difficult questions, and he rarely resorted to easy answers, but he always pointed others to the example and the words of Jesus.

In the wake of his death, many people are asking, “What now?” Mr. Kirk was articulate, passionate, and willing to put himself in danger in order to defend the truth and his personal views. He trusted God to use him, and he was willing to pay a horrible price– being hated, threatened, and ultimately shot to death–to do what he saw as God’s work. He left behind a family (wife and two children), several close friends, and a host of people who followed him on social media and looked to him as a Godly example. Fellow Christians, while we may grieve his loss here, rejoice that he is Home with his Savior for eternity. But many people are wondering what will happen if no one steps forward to take his place and carry on his mission. While I believe that many young people will be inspired to speak out and engage in discussions, I don’t think most of us are meant to step into a spotlight. I think we NEED more people who will commit to going into their closets and pray. While Mr. Kirk put himself in the public arena, there have been hundreds and thousands of people praying for him. They continue to pray for his family, his outreach organization, “Turning Point”, and they even pray for those who instigated and committed this violence.

Prayer is NOT cowardly. Prayer warriors are needed to intercede, to call on Heaven’s Armies to continue in the age-old battle. We should be willing to have the difficult conversations when they arise. Some of us will be called to initiate such conversations openly and with fierce determination. And we should all be ready to “give a reason for the hope that is in you” (1 Peter 3:15) even when it is with “trembling and fear.” And we should always remember to be humble and show kindness, even to those who despise us. But some of us need to be lifting up those who are being attacked. Some of us need to pray more boldly, more often, and more confidently in light of the violence that has exploded in our world. We need to pray, not just for the Charlie Kirks of the world, but for the salvation of all the would-be assassins. We need to pray for the hearts and minds of those who want to argue and “cancel” all those who stand for God’s Word. And for all those who do not know the truth, who are confused, befuddled, or deceived.

We need those who can be courageous– whether in the public square or in a private room.

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Declaration of Dependence

Today, America marks the 249th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. In it, colonial leaders listed several reasons why they no longer held allegiance to the British Crown. Many of their reasons involved abuses by the King or by Parliament in relating to their colonial citizens. Taxation without representation; passing unjust laws; requiring people to quarter (feed and house) soldiers who often harmed and cheated them; refusing to hold the soldiers accountable for their offenses– even murder; refusing to allow the colonials to trade with other nations, etc. But there was something more.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

In drafting and ratifying these words, the founders of the United States did something unique. They did not just establish an independent government; they established a model for both independence and dependence IN government. Government is not independent of certain inalienable rights, nor of the Creator of those rights. Governments are not the highest authority in the land. Governments are instituted and derive their power, not by their own actions and decisions, but from the consent of the governed. Governments DEPEND on their ability and willingness to serve the people.

Of course, there are wicked and improper governments, and Britain’s rule in 1776 was not the worst example of tyranny or despotism the world had ever seen. The United States has not always lived up to the ideals and principles of the Declaration of Independence. Less than a century after the Declaration was adopted, the United States was engulfed in a war that tested its ideals. The nation was divided by the issue of slavery. Nearly half of the states still practiced slavery, meaning that hundreds of thousands of people were being treated far worse than the “rebellious” colonists of previous generations. Our nation as a whole was not delivering on its promised declaration that “all men are created equal” or that they were endowed by their creator with rights to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”.

But when our nation has remembered its Dependence– our need for God and our need to care for the safety and opportunity for those under our jurisdiction–remarkable things have happened. The union was “saved.” Voting rights were not just extended but enshrined in our Constitution. Americans joined the fight in Europe and around the world on more than one occasion to secure rights for people who were being oppressed, tortured, and even exterminated. The “Promise of America” draws people from diverse nations and cultures and stands as a model for the rest of the world.

Sadly, today, many here in the United States want Independence from America. Our culture has devalued life, exchanged liberty for conformity, and traded the pursuit of happiness for indulgence and selfishness. We want to be independent of responsibility– to our families, to our neighbors, to our nation, and to God. We do not want a government that protects those rights that are endowed; instead, we want a government to give us assumed “rights” that are really permissions to defy God’s laws. We want to be free to redefine morality, escape the consequences of our own poor choices, and feel virtuous without pursuing virtue.

What will happen to our country if this trend continues? On the eve of celebrating our 250th year, we may be on the brink of falling apart. Issues like abortion, immigration, health care mandates, and transgenderism threaten to divide our country, just as slavery did over 150 years ago. Americans are divided on political, economic, religious, and cultural issues. We can’t seem to agree on what we mean by “rights, ” “freedom,” or “pursuit of happiness.” We can’t even seem to define what a “woman” is or decide how many genders to fight for. Everyone wants to speak out, but no one seems willing to listen– except to find another point of disagreement. We are no longer “united” states– we are warring factions in a series of culture wars.

But what happens when American Christians declare our Dependence on God and on His Word? Many around us have declared their independence from God’s laws–even to the point of denying His existence. Many people live in a self-imposed despotism; they are enthralled by a false “freedom” from morality, reverence, and even common sense. But Christians– wherever they live– are called to submit to the authority of Christ above all. We depend on Him– not on our customs, not on our history, not even on the words of the Declaration of Independence. And we are to lean on God, not on our own understanding or our superior morality or our ability to shout louder than the next person! Our Freedom comes through Christ alone!

True “freedom” comes from dependence, not independence. When we depend on Christ’s finished work on the Cross, we are free from the weight of Sin and the power of Death. When we depend on God’s wisdom, we find understanding. When we depend on God’s guidance and discipline, we gain freedom from guilt and shame. When we depend on God’s power to channel our emotions and energy, we find purpose and joy.

Today, I declare my utter dependence on God– on the Salvation He provided through Jesus Christ, and on the power of His Holy Spirit to lead me through this life. I am glad to be an American, but my ultimate citizenship is in Heaven. The “promise of America” is a good thing: the promise of Heaven is glorious and life-changing!

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Fuzzy Socks

Every year at about this time, people come up with lists of “Things For Which I Am Thankful.” Some lists are elaborate. Some are short. Some are earnest; others are tongue-in-cheek– “Thanks for nothing.”

A few years back, one of my former students started posting on Facebook about her “thanks” list. She started on November first and listed one thing for every day of the month. I liked the idea, so I began doing the same. I’ve done it for a few years now. It’s not really difficult to find things to be thankful for– but it can be frustrating trying to come up with 30 different things that don’t end up overlapping or repeating. I could list individual family members on different days, but if I’ve already listed “Family” or “Grandkids” (as I did this year), it seems repetitive to list them separately. Also, what if I list some family members and leave others out? Won’t someone be hurt?

I began to realize, as well, that posting every day can become somewhat self-indulgent. What about those who are alone in the world? My rhapsodizing about family, good food, good health– isn’t that really just a subtle way of bragging about my blessings? The real goal of Thanksgiving shouldn’t be about WHAT, but about WHO? WHO is the source of all these blessings? WHO deserves to be thanked for any of the wonderful people, things, and situations in my life?

In the middle of all this second-guessing and self-righteous reflection one year, I was suddenly struck with a strange and ridiculous thought. I am really thankful for fuzzy socks! I used to run around barefoot every chance I got. But in the past few years, I’ve developed neuropathy in my feet from diabetes. My feet are often numb and cold. They aren’t so painful that I can’t walk, but sometimes the least little thing on the rug or floor can suddenly feel painful to my bare feet. Fuzzy socks are a treasure to me. They keep my feet warm, and cushion against some of the tiny antagonists– the pile of the carpet, the mote of dust on the floor, or the early morning temperature of the bathroom tile.

And it hit me. Thanksgiving is not just about the “important” things in life– though it’s wonderful to take the time to evaluate how much God has given me, and how many “big” things I often take for granted. But Thanksgiving is also about the little things– like fuzzy socks– that touch our lives. God cares about my neuropathy. He cares about my likes and dislikes, my comforts and my aches and pains.

And Thanksgiving is not just about “fun” or “pleasant” things. I am thankful for the times when God has disciplined me; when I have had to struggle to find the answers, when I have had to ask for help. I am thankful that God is with me in every situation. I am grateful to remember how much He REALLY cares about me. And in remembering all this, I want to share with as many people as I can reach how truly thank-full we ALL can be for the Love, Mercy, and Grace that is showered on us by God every day. Even when we are not aware; even when it involves something as simple as “fuzzy socks.”

So, I still post about 30 things every November. I discuss my thankfulness for family and friends, for vision and mobility, for a roof over my head, and for transportation, and the freedom to come and go. I list “Godly” things like prayer and my Bible or my Church. But I also list “fuzzy socks.” And pizza, and crossword puzzles, bird song, snowflakes, and books. Such things truly make me grateful.

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“The Lord Giveth…”

We are approaching Thanksgiving in America. Too often, Thanksgiving is lost amidst the shuffle between Halloween and Christmas. No one dresses up for Thanksgiving; no one passes out treats. There aren’t the same long-standing cultural traditions that we have with Christmas– no trees to decorate, no “Thanksgiving” cookies to make, no “Thanksgiving” elves or Santa Claus. There are turkeys, and sometimes stories about Pilgrims and Natives sharing a peaceful feast, but even that has become a sore topic. In fact, for many people, Thanksgiving is about three things– eating, watching parades on TV, and watching Football (trying to stay awake after all that food!). Some families give a nod to the spirit of Thanksgiving by going around the table and reciting the things for which they are thankful. But we rarely take the opportunity to draw attention to the Giver of all good things. We are more likely to be thankful for things we have as a result (we think) of our own hard work, wise decisions, and “good luck.” Families may travel long distances to be together, but even that is going out of fashion, as young adults often opt to spend the day with their friends or even on their own, and older adults are often “celebrating” without any family present.

I love Thanksgiving. It is one of my favorite holidays. But I think we have lost much of the spirit of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is not just about one day with lots of food spent with family or friends. Thanksgiving is really a lifestyle. The Bible is rich with thanksgiving and praise:

 “I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High.” Psalm 7:17
“I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.” Psalm 9:1
“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” Psalm 100:4
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6
 “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” Colossians 3:15
 “Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.” Hebrews 13:15

We have much to be thankful for, but when we look at the Bible verses, Thanksgiving is NOT about WHAT but about WHO. We can be thankful for good health, but we should “give thanks” to the One who gives LIFE– even when we aren’t enjoying perfect health. We can be thankful for our family, but we should really be thankful for the One who created and designed families– including our imperfect, slightly dysfunctional family.

Job learned this lesson well. He was extremely blessed– one of the richest men in all the land. He owned cattle and land, had a large family, and was highly respected. But when he lost it all, he still took time to thank God– not just for the good things He had given Job, but for who He was and is. Job acknowledged that the same God who gives is also the God who takes away– yet He is just, Holy, and awesome. He is sovereign and merciful. And, in the end, Job was restored to health, prosperity, honor, and given a new family.

Jesus was always thanking God– and not for the things we might expect! Jesus arrived in Bethany to find His friend Lazarus dead. Yet He thanked the Father. He did not thank God for “letting” Lazarus die, but He thanked Him for always hearing His prayers, including His prayer to restore Lazarus to life. Jesus thanked God for food– even though He proved that He could turn water into wine and small amounts of food into feasts! Jesus even thanked the Father for hiding His message from those who think they are wise, while revealing it to the lowly and meek. Imagine how much easier His ministry would have been if God had simply opened everyone’s heart and mind to accept that Jesus was the Messiah! But it pleased God to make Jesus’ ministry “fail” on many levels and lead to the Crucifixion. In spite of this, Jesus praised the Father for His wisdom and sovereignty.

We can be thankful to God, not just when things are going well, and we are feeling blessed, but when things are dark and chaotic, or we feel as though we have failed. We don’t ignore the grief of loss, the pain and struggles we face– but we look beyond to the God who sees, hears, heals, and makes all things new in His time. We can thank God in all circumstances, because He is GREATER than all circumstances!

This season, may we take time to contemplate– not just all the good things we have–but to dive deep into who God IS. May we say with Job, “The LORD giveth, and the LORD taketh away; Blessed be the Name of the LORD!”

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Of Angelic Visions, Devilled Eggs, and Family Blessings

Yesterday, David and I attended a family reunion. It was a relaxed atmosphere of cousins and siblings reuniting to share memories, and great food! As with all family gatherings, there were some who couldn’t make it– work, previous commitments, travel tangles, etc. Others chose not to come– some have been hurt in the past; others never saw their invitation; some just don’t like the other members of our family or don’t want to spend their time with family when they could be doing something else…

David and I went, not only because we genuinely enjoy spending time with family members, but also because I wanted to share the progress of a book I’m writing about our shared ancestors, George and Lila Green of Penn Township, Cass County, Michigan. I’m named after my great-grandmother, and I have been blessed to receive several boxes of memorabilia, including letters, photos, diaries, and other writings that cover many of the events and memories of their lives spanning over fifty years of marriage. I’m excited to have access to so many primary source materials for a family history.

As I brought in my “dish to pass,” I noticed that one of my cousins had the exact same idea as me! We had each brought two trays of devilled eggs– 40 each and 80 all together! We compared notes on recipes, and agreed to taste each other’s eggs to make sure they were all good– and they were all awesome. There were only a few eggs left after all the food was eaten– and there were fewer than 80 people in attendance, so it seems that almost everyone enjoyed at least one egg, and several came back for seconds, in spite of the fact that there were other wonderful dishes to enjoy. There can never be too many devilled eggs at a family reunion!

Before I got a chance to share about my book with everyone, I spoke with a couple of my cousins, and they shared some of their memories of my great-grandmother. Near the end of her life, she battled cancer, and near the end of her earthly struggle, she imparted to some of her grandchildren that she had a vision of an angel asking her if she was “ready to go.” She answered that she was. A few days later, she passed into glory. This was a great comfort to those who faced “losing” their loved one. Two different cousins recounted the same tale, which confirmed for me that her words (and her strong faith) had a great impact on our family.

One of the reasons I feel compelled to tell the story of my great-grandparents is the lasting legacy of Faith and Family that they left behind. From just two people who married in1909, the family grew over a century to include over 500 individuals! And, while some of them have abandoned the faith (and/or the family), most have stayed connected– we’ve had family members who have served as ministers, missionaries, Sunday School teachers, BIble study leaders–even a stray blogger or two! In every generation, we have had family members who can testify to the power of God’s love, His provision, His healing, and His faithfulness.

In sharing about my book, I read passages from Lila Green’s diary recounting her attendance at a church Christmas Program at the little country church where, years later, I would first hear the truth of the Gospel. She was so excited that 14 of her family members were part of the program, while 19 family members were in attendance! Some who were at the family reunion were among those 19 members attending church with Lila Green almost 70 years ago. And many in the fourth and fifth generation after her came to the reunion after attending church with their families in a different millennium. I also read about some of George and Lila Green’s own ancestors– many of whom served in churches dating back to the American Colonial Era– Quaker Churches and Baptist Churches and log cabin churches and churches held in homes and school buildings over two centuries removed from our small gathering yesterday.

Bethel Community Church– where over four generations
of my family were introduced to the Gospel!

God is faithful. God created families to demonstrate His faithfulness across generations. When we teach our children about God, we continue to proclaim that faithfulness to the next generation. And when we teach about our family history, we demonstrate God’s faithfulness, not just to the patriarchs of the Bible but to “real” people just like us– people who faced sickness, hardship, and loss. People who had pets and hobbies, and even squabbles with their siblings over toys! Yet God has been there over all the years, teaching, giving wisdom, and loving them–and us– every hour of every day.

I think God was listening in when my cousins recounted my great-grandmothers vision. I think He probably had fun watching my cousin and I trading “devilled egg” recipes and tips. And I know He looked lovingly at each precious family member yesterday– those in attendance, as well as those we missed seeing.

I know not everyone has a happy family legacy like mine. But I also know that it’s never too late to start one! Who knows what another 100 years might bring to your descendants?! Who knows what kind of legacy you can leave behind? God knows! I pray that you will be aware this week of all the many ways God has blessed you over the years– perhaps through your family legacy…perhaps in spite of it–and that you will experience gratitude, peace, and joy in the knowledge of how God can take even just two people and bless thousands!

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Where Grief Meets Hope

We lost a family member a couple of weeks ago. We were shocked and heartbroken to hear of his loss. To know that we will never get to hear his laughter or watch his eyes crinkle up over a good joke; never hear him enthuse over history or a great movie; never enjoy the fellowship of being in the same room together again. He never got to retire from his job; never got to walk his daughters down the aisle; never got to enjoy the house he and my sister-in-law planned to build.

BUT

Chris had a wonderful life in many ways. He and his wife have three amazing adult children. He got to enjoy plenty of days loving nature and enjoying a good sunset over Lake Michigan. He harvested many morels each spring. He made music. He helped hundreds of people in hundreds of little ways. He was blessed.

We went to Chris’s funeral last weekend. We helped celebrate his life– his accomplishments and achievements, his vivid personality, his sense of humor– and we celebrated his Faith. Yes, there were tears at the funeral. We will miss Chris in the years to come. But we share his faith and his great hope. We will miss him temporarily. We will grieve for a few years. And then, we will experience a joy that will make us forget the grief! Not only will we see Chris again– to laugh together and share stories and songs– we will be in the presence of our source of Life, and Hope, Joy and Peace! We will be surrounded by the great cloud of witnesses as we live eternally with the One who loves us best!

Many years ago, another man died. There was grief, stunned disbelief, and terror. The family, friends, and followers of Jesus Christ mourned. They hid. Their world was dark with despair and anguish. All these years later, we look at paintings and sculptures of Jesus suffering on the cross. But, while we shudder at the horror of all He suffered, we do not look on such pictures with fear or despair. The Cross is not a symbol of Death’s ultimate victory, but rather its ultimate defeat. Jesus didn’t stay dead. His body was buried, but He did not stay there. We celebrate, not the horrors of the Cross, but the limits of its power to steal our joy.

This is where grief meets hope. It is where the past is overwhelmed by the promise of Eternity. Christians grieve– of course we do. We love life, and we grieve to see it end. We love being with friends and family– we feel an emptiness and an ache when someone we love is “missing.” But we do NOT grieve without hope. We acknowledge the brief sting of loss. But Death loses its sting in the light of Christ’s victory. There is no lasting victory in the grave. Our time is short; we are powerless to stop death from taking us; from taking our loved ones. But Eternity beckons! Even our time on earth gives us daily reminders– the sun rises each morning; spring comes after each winter; children grow into parents, and we get to love another generation.

Even when life is hard; when grief looms large and hope seems dim– hope does not disappoint! Because Christ LIVES!

Chris was buried earlier this week– his body was buried– but he LIVES. He is healed and freed of all the pains and frustrations of this earthly life, and because of Christ’s gift of Grace and Redemption, Chris is living all that he once hoped for. Because of Christ’s great gift, many of us will someday join him in singing God’s praises, in laughter, delight, and endless joy!

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My Father

One of my hobbies is genealogy. I have been tracing my ancestry (along with that of my husband and my in-laws) for many years. I am fortunate, in that I know who my parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents were, when and where they were born, and when and where they died. Most my ancestors lived in the same area for at least five generations, some for seven or eight generations.

My great grandfather and his cousin, c. 1885

I know many others who struggle with genealogy, or have lost interest in “finding their roots.” Some are adopted, or their parents were adopted. The records have been sealed, or worse, lost, and they cannot find out even the name of a parent or grandparent to trace. Others have a murky and mysterious family history– someone in their family was illegitimate or born out of wedlock and no biological father can be confirmed.

Almost everyone who works on genealogy has, as one point, “hit a wall.” There are some people whose history is lost. They moved frequently, or they lived in a city or town where records were destroyed by fire or flood; some changed their name to avoid persecution or prosecution–some where enslaved and their names erased against their will; some lived at the edge of the wilderness, where few records were kept, and fewer still survived; some died young; some were illiterate, and left no written records. Many families have boxes or albums filled with unidentified (and unidentifiable) photos.

Some genealogists “hit gold.” They find in their family history a famous person from the past– a king or queen, military hero, chieftain, statesman, scientist, artist– some person of note. Often, however, these “finds” turn out to be red herrings. Early in my research, I thought I had stumbled on to a line of descent from one of the passengers on the Mayflower. How exciting! Except I had followed the wrong line. Two men of the same name in the same town had been born just two years apart. I had found the “right” name in a book about the Mayflower descendants, but it wasn’t actually the “right” one. A similar thing happened with the name of a signer of the Declaration of Independence. I even had a cousin who insisted that this signer was our direct ancestor. But it turned out to be incorrect. We WERE related to the signer, but not descended from him. It turns out he was a great-granduncle of our ancestor.

Human genealogy can be a rewarding pursuit, or a frustrating one. But our spiritual genealogy can be crystal clear, and is full of exciting news! Our Father is the King of Kings! We don’t have to wonder who He is or whether we will be accepted and listed as a family member. His grace extends to everyone who believes on Him– and it comes with the fullness of being His Children for all eternity.

My dad

When I pray to My Father, that is not just a polite or wishful phrase. God IS my father– just like my human father, only eternal and omnipotent! I have inherited various traits from both my fathers–creativity, wonder, curiosity, a sense of purpose and responsibility, love for others and for the world around me, love of music and nature, and a love of puns(!)–and I am an heir to all the riches of my Heavenly Father’s mercy and grace. I am a descendant of all the heroes of the Faith– not physically through human birth, but by spiritual re-birth– a daughter of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. All that God promised to them, He shares with me. Not because I deserve them, or could ever earn them; because He has made it so.

Father’s Day is coming up this Sunday. And it can be a time of reflection on our earthly fathers– their strengths, weakness, failures, and relationships. Father’s Day can bring many poignant memories, or waves of bitterness or regret. And looking into our long family history– if we can find it– may result in finding patterns of behavior that have led to pain or progress. But whatever your genealogy today–whether you know it, or take pride in it, or despair of it–you can live in the awe of being a beloved and privileged child of the King! And He wants to chat with you today! We have much to celebrate on Father’s Day if we reflect on our wonderful Heavenly Father!

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