What If HE’D Never Been Born?

One of my favorite Christmas movies has always been “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The movie tells the story of a man who finds himself desperate, sad, frustrated, angry, and suicidal on Christmas Eve –sounds like a real winner, huh? But before he gets to that point, Heaven is preparing an angel to come to his rescue. Through the eyes of the angel, the viewer “gets to know” George Bailey– his family, his friends, his struggles and his joys–and gets to see his life in perspective. The angel, Clarence, decides to give George an unusual gift– the chance to see what the world would be like, not just if he were to commit suicide, but what it would be like if he, George Bailey, had never existed. George is astounded and horrified to see the effects of his absence, and he learns to value his life, his family, and his friends as never before.

The dramatic effect of one person’s life cannot be overstated, but this is especially true of the life of Christ! Can we dare to imagine what life would be like today if Jesus had never been born?

Of course, the most obvious and tragic consequence is that there would be no Salvation by Grace. For a more complete discussion on this, there are several other essays and even books, including “What if Jesus Had Never Been Born” by D. James Kennedy and Jerry Newcombe. (Full disclosure: I have not read this book– I just found out about it as I was writing this, but I trust it is a good resource.) And all speculation on this subject is just that– the Bible is clear that it was always God’s plan for Jesus to come, to live, to die, and to defeat death, just as He did, just when He did. Any alternative vision is not from God, but from our own imaginations. But what other “ripples” do we take for granted in our world, that would not have happened (or would have happened very differently) if Jesus had never been born, or had not completed the work of His life, death, and resurrection?

There would be no Christmas. Not just the Christian celebration of Christmas, but much of what we call “secular” Christmas. While some cultures might have a local festival for winter solstice, there would be no worldwide celebration such as we know.
There would be no “Santa Claus,” no “St. Nick,” no “Father Christmas,” no “Papa Noel”, etc. The model for our modern Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, wouldn’t have been a Christian Bishop in Asia Minor, because there would have been no Christians there, or anywhere else.
No Christmas Cartoons– no story about Rudoph the Red-Nosed Reindeer; no singing elves and jolly Mrs. Santa Claus; no Heat Miser and Snow Miser (if you know some of the other Rankin-Bass productions..) Hours of childhood memories erased.
No other Christmas stories and movies– no Scrooge and Marley; no MIracle on 34th Street; no “Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus”; no “Santa Clause” (and its successors) no “Christmas Story” or “Christmas Vacation”; not even Hans Gruber falling from the Nakatomi Tower. Millions of DVDs, books, VHS tapes, local theater productions– never existed.
We can kiss Frosty the Snowman goodbye, as well. Without the magical snowfall of Christmas, the story never takes shape– literally.
No Christmas Carols or Christmas music. I know of at least three local radio stations that are playing Christmas music exclusively right now. They started the day after Thanksgiving, and they will continue through the end of the month. Thousands of Christmas songs– from favorites like “O, Come All Ye Faithful,” and “O, Holy Night,” to annual disasters, like “Last Christmas,” and “Santa, Baby”– all wiped out.
No Christmas cards. Millions of cards are sent out each year, connecting family and friends around the world. Except there wouldn’t be any if Christ had never been born.
No Christmas Lights.
No Christmas shopping. (And while that may seem like a good thing for my personal budget, have you ever looked at what the Christmas season means for most Western economies?) No Christmas wrapping; no Christmas ornaments; no Christmas sweaters or socks; no Christmas candy or cookies…
No Salvation Army bell ringers at the stores– no Salvation Army; no reason to ring bells…
No Christian charities– not just the Salvation Army, but every other charity that was founded on Christian principles, or for Christian outreach…no downtown rescue missions, no soup kitchens, no international Christian efforts to rescue hurting children or provide relief for families. I by no means want to suggest that ONLY Christians are charitable, or that NO charities would exist without Christ. Charities are a mainstay of most religions, and always have been. The distinction I would make is that more Christian charities have been developed and have thrived in the last 2,000 years, than charities started by other religious and secular organizations, and there is evidence that they do more efficient and more broad-based work than their counterparts. https://www.christianpost.com/news/christian-charities-more-reliable-than-others-according-to-forbes.html
No Christian colleges or universities– Are you a fan of Notre Dame Football? Sorry. Notre Dame doesn’t exist. Neither do Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Cambridge, Oxford, Saint Andrews, Georgetown, and several other colleges and universities throughout Europe, North America, and elsewhere. Even universities that are completely secular today were once founded on the idea that education was a Christian virtue. This doesn’t mean that there would be no places of higher learning– there would just be far fewer than we know today.
No “Christian” books– and this includes books that introduce Christian concepts, allegories, and allusions. No “Pilgrim’s Progress,” no “Jane Eyre.” no “Lord of the Rings…”
No Churches– no cathedrals, no picturesque country chapels, no strip mall fellowships, no megachurches…
None of the Christian Memes; Promises; favorite verses… no Beatitudes; no Fruit of the Spirit; no “Golden Rule,” no Romans 8:28 or John 3:16 or Philippians 4:13…
No Twenty-First Century! Our calendar is literally based in part on the assumed birth of Christ. And while there are other calendars– Chinese, Aztec, Hebrew, etc., that are numbered differently, most of the world uses the Roman/Julian/Gregorian Calendar, which splits time into B. C. or B.C.E. — literally “Before Christ” or “Before the Christian Era”, and A.D. (Anno Domini– year of our Lord!) or C.E. “Christian Era.”

It paints a pretty bleak picture. Our world, as we know it, would be vastly different if Christ had never been born. That is not to say that the innovations, inventions, or achievements of the past centuries might NOT have happened at all– but they would have happened without the same purpose and effect. Many of the events of the past two millennia were inspired by, undertaken by, and driven by the message of the Christ– His birth, death, resurrection, and promised return! We hear about some of the negative things of the Church– wars and excesses, scandals and failures. But what about the successes– the transformation of violent cultures and conflicts into peaceful resolution, the drive to end slavery, cure illnesses, eradicate hunger–so many of the blessings we enjoy here on earth are the result of work done by those who long to love their neighbors as themselves and to see God’s will done “on earth as it is in Heaven!” The Joy and Generosity of the Christmas season cannot be separated from its central cause. The Wonder, the sense of the Miraculous and Holy, the sense that there is something “More” beyond a crisp winter morning or a day off work or a genial meal with friends–it all MEANS something. It doesn’t just come from nowhere, or a human desire to be kinder this one day each year. The character of George Bailey exemplifies an ordinary life that has meaning and purpose. His sense of purpose has gotten lost in the crush of bills, obligations, disappointments, and injustices. His prayer is one of quiet desperation; he is completely unaware that it is part of a vast chorus of prayers. But God hears it– and God sends Clarence!

There is a reason that George is visited by an Angel on Christmas Eve. Clarence may not be suave and sophisticated; he may not have intellectual arguments that can help George comprehend all of life’s wonder and purpose. But just like the angels at the first Christmas, Clarence comes from Heaven. He is God’s chosen messenger. He brings Heaven’s perspective and truth into a dark world, showing George what IS and HAS BEEN and what CAN BE– all because George was born– because CHRIST was born! It IS a WONDERFUL Life– not because of our circumstances, but because God’s Greatest Gift redefines our circumstances and transforms our perspective!

^4-7But when the time arrived that was set by God the Father, God sent his Son, born among us of a woman, born under the conditions of the law so that he might redeem those of us who have been kidnapped by the law. Thus we have been set free to experience our rightful heritage. You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, “Papa! Father!” Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you’re also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.
Galatians 4:4-7 (The Message)

George emerges from his nightmare experience to find he is, in fact, “the richest man in town.” Oh, that we would wake up this Christmas morning fully aware of the rich heritage that is ours– because WE were born. Because HE was born! Because we can be BORN AGAIN!

December 6, 2023 0

Give Thanks!

At least once each month, I want to share some practical thoughts about pursuing a life of prayer. Since we are in the Thanksgiving season, I thought I would share some ideas about giving thanks.

It’s easy enough to say, “Thank You!” when we receive a gift or someone does something special for us. After all, it’s just two small words, and they are (usually) welcome words at that. But what are some practical ways to grow in our expression of thankfulness and gratitude this season?

Of course, we can make a list– “Count Your Blessings”– of all the things we have to be grateful for. But what do we do with the list AFTER we write or type it out? What are some ways to keep a running list of blessings? In what ways can you keep a list visible and interactive? Keep a special journal. Challenge yourself to fill it with all the things you have (tangible and intangible). Keep a whiteboard where the family can add things each week. Can your family fill the white board? Can you fill an entire notebook?
Make thankfulness shareable each day. Thank the cashier at the grocery store. Thank your children when they go above and beyond (and see if it doesn’t happen more often!) with their chores. Thank your parents. Thank your spouse. Thank your pastor. Point out to others when there are things that make you grateful– a beautiful day, a favorite sweater, a good meal at a restaurant (or at home!) It will naturally grow thankfulness in your prayer life if you are growing thankfulness in your other relationships– and vise versa!
Demonstrate thankfulness– practice random acts of kindness. Be an encourager. Give compliments freely. Donate. Volunteer. Take positive action. You might give OTHERS a reason to be thankful, as well.

Seek out gratitude. On days when it seems hard to give thanks, look for it. Look backward– remember better days, and God’s faithfulness in other hard times. Look forward– look at the promises of God for the future. Look sideways– rejoice with those who rejoice. Instead of comparing your lot with others, join in their happiness. Look for ways to be glad for others, just as you would want them to join in your happiness. This is easier to write than to put into practice, but practice will make it easier to do.
Practice starting prayer with praise and thanksgiving. It is so tempting, especially when we are facing trials and an unknown future, to start our prayers ASKING, instead of ADORING. It won’t change your situation, but it will change your attitude when you begin with THANKS!
Break down your big “thank yous” into little ones. “Thank you for my house..” can become “Thank you for the floors and the roof and the bedroom and the kitchen and the dishes in my kitchen and the tub in the bathroom and for running water…” You get the idea. It will amaze you how detailed God is in meeting ALL our needs!

Practice the art of “letting go” of what you do NOT need, and keeping what you will actually use. How much of your clutter can help others? How much stress comes from hanging on to things we no longer need or use? There are many websites and books on this topic; some from a Buddhist perspective, but the idea is valid for all faiths. Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6:21 “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 It is possible to have TOO MUCH to be thankful for! And it is possible to be more thankful for less!
Break the complaining habit! Whenever you find yourself complaining, try to stop and replace your complaint with a thank you for something else in your life. Having a bad hair day? Thank God for comfy shoes! Having a difficult day with a teenage child? Thank God that you survived your own teenage years!

Thanksgiving is so much more than just a holiday. It is a way of life– a pursuit that relates very directly to the pursuit of Prayer!

November 22, 2023 0

“Losing” a Loved One

Our family had a funeral this week. One of my mom’s cousins passed away. We are a close family– distance-wise, as well as emotionally close. So the funeral was huge…hundreds of people coming to pay their last respects. And most of us spouting the same old phrases and platitudes: “So sorry for your loss.” “She will be greatly missed.” “At least she’s not in pain anymore.” “It’s so hard to lose a loved one.”

Except– she’s not lost! She hasn’t gone missing. She died. And, because she is a believer, she is HOME! Yes, WE experience a sense of loss. We grieve and mourn her absence from us. And the pain and grief is very real. I still find myself grieving the “loss” of my dad after 25 years, and the more recent death of my mom earlier this year. But sorrow and grieving for us as Christians is tempered with hope, comfort, peace, and even joy and amazement. Linda, Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, and so many other precious believers are not Lost. They are not the victims of Death. In fact, as part of the funeral service, we were reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians:

⁵⁴When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”
⁵⁵“Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
⁵⁶The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. ⁵⁷But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁵⁸Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
1 Corinthians 15:54-58

Yet Death does claim victims, and there are people who are “Lost,” who will be “greatly missed.” They are the ones who have died without hope, without peace, and without eternal life. In fact, many of them are still walking around– the living dead– the unsaved. I shed far more tears over those who are forever lost– those who will not accept the free gift of eternal life– than I will for those loved ones who have died in Christ. God welcomes us to be “found” in Him. He went to great lengths to defeat the power of Death, to bring true justice, and to shower us with Grace beyond our wildest imaginings. It is His gift to anyone who will trust Him. Yes, we will still taste death– and suffer pain and injustice, heartbreak and grief in this life. But these are the shadows. What comes after is the Light!

We shed some tears at the funeral this week, but we also laughed, hugged, sang, and said, “AMEN!” Linda ran the race, and she did not die (or live) in vain. She left a legacy of love and kindness that was celebrated this week. Heaven “gained” a loved one. And, while it hurts us not to be able to see her or laugh or sing with her right now, we know we will be reunited. And she is reunited with loved ones who have passed on before. But most of all, she is united with her Creator, her Redeemer, the Lover of her Soul, and her Lord. And ten thousand years from now, Linda will still be singing His praises!

November 17, 2023 0

The Power of Pictures

When my Mom died back in February, she left a house full of memories, and also a house full of papers and empty containers, old clothes and books, and worn furniture and broken appliances. Mom was a hoarder, and it has taken months to begin sorting through all that Mom treasured. Yesterday, I was sorting through a tub of old photos. Mom took thousands of photos over the years, and we gathered up over 25 tubs of them. They are in random order, so one group of photos may be from the late sixties, while the next might have been taken just a few years ago.

It’s been both frustrating and entertaining to go through batches of photos. Seeing my face at age 6 with missing front teeth; seeing my nephew holding his newborn daughter; seeing my Dad in his work uniform; seeing long-lost relatives when they were both alive and younger than I am now! It can be jarring. I found a photo of my favorite pair of sneakers from childhood– they were bright yellow with black stripes and white treads. I loved those sneakers and I finally wore them out. But there they were, staring up at me from an old photo– brand new– and I felt the same sense of excitement I had when I was 10 years old. I also found an old photo of a cousin who recently passed away. There she was, fifty years younger at a family reunion, a young mother with two sons (another son and daughter were yet to be born!) It was a sharp stab to know how much her family is grieving right now. And yet, it was a beautiful reminder that she is NOT gone; she is raised to life, and grief will be turned to joy as we have an eternal “Family Reunion” in heaven!

Mom took a lot of wonderful pictures that mean so much to us now. But Mom also took a lot of “dud” pictures– pictures that were out of focus; pictures of old clothes, or faded flowers. Several pictures of the same thing from different angles. Pictures of people eating–their mouths wide open and gaping angrily. There are no labels telling why such pictures were taken, or what they might mean. Years later, they leave us confused and frustrated– and ready to throw them out!

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. And I have been living that lately, as I sort through old memories. But the pictures are reminding me of other memories– other “pictures” that are even more powerful.

God reveals Himself to us in so many ways– and in so many “pictures.” The Bible is full of parables, metaphors, proverbs, and histories that provide us with word pictures of His character. In Genesis, we read the story of Abraham and Isaac, which illustrates the great sacrifice God would make for our Salvation. Abraham was willing to give his son– the son God had promised– believing that God could raise him from the dead. Isaac didn’t die. He didn’t even know what was coming. But Jesus DID. God’s promises never fail. Unlike Isaac, Jesus KNEW what awaited Him at Calvary. He knew there would be no last-minute, substitute ram. HE was the lamb who would be slain. And He would rise victorious!

In Exodus, God provides another parallel; another word picture to show what He would do. He sent ten plagues on Egypt to prove His power, both to the Egyptians AND to the nation of Israel. But the tenth plague was much more than just a display of power. It was a metaphor for the Cross. In order to escape the Angel of Death, the Israelites were to use hyssop and the blood of the Passover lamb to “paint” the top and sides of their doorframes. Using the hyssop, they “whipped” blood onto the wooden doorframe, causing it to “bleed”– at the top, and on each side. The blood would drip down, creating a similar pattern to the blood on the cross–blood from the wounds on Jesus’ head and outstretched hands. There would even be a pool of blood on the ground, suggesting where His feet would be nailed to a wooden cross. It is a stark picture– a gruesome picture of pain and suffering. But it is a powerful picture that shows us how Jesus’ pain and suffering led to our Salvation. Death holds no power over the Cross! We can rest, knowing that God’s plan is for our rescue, not our destruction.

In the New Testament, Jesus used metaphors and explained how ancient stories foretold His arrival, as well as His death and resurrection. He used the story of Jonah to explain that He would be in the grave for three days. He used the prophets to remind His listeners of God’s many promises. His disciples recorded the stories. The Apostles continued to use the ancient scriptures to “show” that Jesus was the Messiah and that His life and death fulfilled the promises and prophecies.

Time after time, Jesus told parables– stories that were meant to “show” the character of His Father. And WE are also meant to reflect Our Father to the world! WE are to be pictures of God’s Love, His Grace and Mercy, His Faithfulness, and His Holiness. Whatever we do, wherever we go today, we WILL be like a photograph, showing others who we are inside– what we value, what we believe, who we trust, how we love and how we live. We can be powerful witnesses to God’s Love by the way we go about our daily activities. But we can also be “duds”– pictures of people pursuing worthless activities, or looking at the world from a dozen skewed perspectives.

I pray that my “photo” today will reflect God’s character, challenge assumptions, encourage others, and stir powerful reactions for HIS Glory!

November 15, 2023 1

He Knows MY Name

My first name, Lila, is not unique, but it is uncommon. Last week, when my husband and I got away for a few days for our anniversary, we visited a gift shop. I was excited to see a magnet with my name on it, so I bought it (though we don’t need any more kitchen magnets, and it was more than I would normally spend on such a trinket). My husband, David, on the other hand, has the opposite experience. He can be in a room with 20 people, and if someone calls out, “Hey, Dave,” sometimes three people will answer! He can find trinkets that say, “David,” “Dave,” and “Davey” almost anywhere.

Names can be funny that way. Almost everyone knows how to pronounce my husband’s name. And spell it. It’s a good name, a strong name– that’s one reason it’s so popular. My name is shorter by one letter, but almost no one spells it correctly– I’ve seen it spelled Lyla, Lilah, Laila, Leila, and Lily; and I’ve heard it pronounced Lee-la, Lay-la, Lill-a, as well as just misread completely as Lisa, Lilian, Lina, Lenore, Delilah, Lora, Mila…

Both David and I were named after other members of our families, and we have nieces, nephews, and cousins named David or Lila, as well. Our names have personal and family importance beyond just the normal meanings. Still, somewhere in the world, there are dozens of people who bear the same name (first, middle, and last) as my husband, while there may be one other who bears my same name.

God knows my name. He never misspells it, never mangles the pronunciation or gets me confused with someone else. And he knows “my” David, and never gets him confused with someone else or lumps him in with a group of other “Davids”. God knows why David and I were named as we were, and He knew the family members after whom we were named. He knows the names of our yet-unborn great-great-great grandchildren!

Jesus had twelve disciples. The Bible records that two of them were named James, two were named Simon, and two others were possibly named Judas. Jesus gave one of the “Simons” the new name of Peter’ the other was also known as “Simon the Zealot”. The two James were distinguished as “the elder” and “the younger” or “James the brother of John, and son of Zebedee” and “James the son of Alpheus.” Judas Iscariot was the disciple who betrayed Jesus to the authorities; there was another disciple, who went by the name Jude, or Thaddeus, or Judas the brother of James. Historians know little about “the other Judas”, and even the authors of the Gospels give different lists of names for the twelve disciples, given that some of them went by more than one name. However, Jesus knew each one from before they were even born.

Of course, God knows far more than just our names. He knows our every thought– before we even think it! God “gets” us–for better or worse. He knows our quirks and our capabilities. He knows our deepest shame, and our deepest fear; our greatest accomplishment and our most secret desire. Even more, God knows our future; He knows all that we could be and all that we will become (or fail to become). He knows “what might have been” if we had been born in a different time or place. He knows exactly how our decisions have affected us for good or ill, and how others’ actions have impacted our character.

There are nearly 8 billion people alive on this planet at the current time (7.9 billion estimated as of September 2021). God knows the name and dreams and histories of each and every one! And when we pray, we are not praying to someone whose knowledge of us is limited or determined by our relation to someone He knows “better.” Imagine God having 8 billion kitchen magnets with names on each one–even if there were 100,000,000 of them with the name “David,” God would know exactly which one belonged to “my” David. And God would not confuse mine with any of the millions of similar magnets saying Lily, Lisa, Lylah, Lola, Laura, or even “Lila.”

What an amazing God! What a privilege to call on HIS Name, knowing that He knows us so intimately and loves us so thoroughly!

October 9, 2023 0

No More Goodbyes

Today marks 25 years since I said “goodbye” to my father. My mother, sister, and I stood by his bedside at the hospital. The doctors had tried numerous times to re-start his heart. In the process, they had broken his sternum, and each new effort was causing additional pain and putting his lungs in danger of being punctured by bone fragments. His time was running out. We were allowed to come in and say our last words to him, before his worn-out heart finally stopped for good. I held his hand one last time, whispered that I loved him and that I would help take care of Mom. I kissed his forehead, and said a prayer. Mom and my sister did the same.

Earlier this year, I had to say goodbye to Mom as well. My sister and I were with her, and had read her mail aloud to her, as she had fallen into a coma. I was preparing to return home. I said, “goodbye;” I held her hand, kissed her cheek and turned to my sister. When I turned back around, Mom was gone–her oxygen machine was still running, but her heart had stopped beating, and she was peaceful and still. In that moment, I became an orphan.

Death is part of the curse of a fallen world. God is the source of all Life. In a fallen world, we are cut off from our life-source. Our mortal bodies must taste death. It is the consequence of Sin– our sin, and the sins of others. Disease, violence, aging, disasters, grieving, work, abuse– all conspire to drain the life out of our bodies. Life is a gift– we can’t “earn” it, and we can’t “hold on” to it indefinitely. Nor can we hold on to the lives of others–even those we love. Some day, I will lose my sister. Or she will lose me. Some day, I will lose, or be lost to my husband, my brother, my step-children, mother-in-law, grandchildren, cousins, friends, and neighbors.

And, just like leaves on the trees later this month, all of us will grow old, be changed, and fall into decay. Some will fall gently; others will be torn away by the winds of war, or crime, or cancer, or accidents. Some will fall early; others will cling to life until the last moment, but all will eventually die. More goodbyes. More grieving. More death.

But. God is the author of Life, not Death.

Death is not the end for those who have trusted their souls to God. Our bodies must still taste death. We must still say, “Goodbye” to those we love on earth. But our goodbyes are tempered with the promise that the One who conquered Death did so for US. Because Jesus was willing to die and able to rise again, we will also live again. And THIS life will be untainted and eternal. No more goodbyes. No more grieving and separation. No more fear of an unknown future that includes death. No more waiting. No more living without a father. Our Heavenly Father will never leave, never die, never suffer the ravages of age or disease, never fall. In fact, Jesus never said “Goodbye” to His disciples– it wasn’t in His vocabulary! He said that He would “Go to prepare a place…(John 14:2-3)”, and He charged His disciples to “Go into all the world…(Mark 16:15)” But He never said, “Goodbye!”

I had to say, “Goodbye,” to my wonderful parents. And I have the joy of knowing that our “goodbyes” are temporary. That I will see them again, even as I will see my Heavenly Father someday. So, while today holds in it the sadness of watching my Dad suffer in his last minutes of earthly life, it also holds the promise of reunion and restoration. My Dad will never again have to suffer; neither will my Mom. My future probably holds a few more “goodbyes.” But it also holds “Hello!” “Welcome Home!” and “I’m so happy to see you again!”

I thank God for the lives of both my parents– for their testimonies of faith, for their good examples, and for the wisdom, laughter, and love they shared. And I thank God that their deaths were not the end of that love and joy. In fact, it will be even better to share someday what we could never have here on earth–eternal peace and freedom from grief and loss.

Twenty-five years seems like a long time, but it is a drop in the bucket of time, and nothing in light of eternity. That truth brings me great comfort as I face today. I hope you will be encouraged and comforted as well. Heaven is a place with no more “goodbyes.” And that radically changes the way I say “Goodbye” here on earth!

September 1, 2023 0

What We Keep…

I’ve been posting a lot lately about going through my Mom’s “stuff.” Mom was a saver– a pack rat– a hoarder, really. She kept boxes and piles of useless things. But she also kept things that have value to those she left behind. My siblings and I have found old photographs, momentos, letters, documents, etc., that bring the past alive again..not just our past, but our family roots going back generations.

My mother with her mom and younger sister c. 1944

What prompts us to keep such memories; to hold tightly to faded papers, worn objects, shadows of days gone by? Sometimes, it is an unhealthy focus on past memories– good and bad– that keep us in the grip of “glory days” or old and festering wounds. But there IS a value to keeping a record of the past.

When I was young, we had dozens of books around the house, including Bible Story books. The stories of Abraham and Sarah, Isaac, Moses, Samson and Samuel, King David, Queen Esther, Elijah, and then Jesus, his disciples, the Apostle Paul…they were mesmerizing– and very instructive! God didn’t just give us Ten Commandments and a list of rules to follow. He left us with a rich tapestry of stories of real people, and their very real adventures. He has given us Parables, and Psalms, Prophets and Promises– the Bible is a living book that speaks to each new generation with timeless truths. I learned about the Faithfulness of God, His Holiness, and His Mercy in those pages.

The stories and photos that get passed down in families can also be instructive. I now have a baby picture of the grandfather I never got to meet, as well as a photo of him as a young man, and another candid shot of him wearing a milk bucket on his head (He was a dairy farmer)! I can see and sense his humor and love of family in new ways, and appreciate the way his life and early death helped shaped my own dad’s life. I have letters my great-grandparents wrote to each other when they were first married and starting their family. I have some of Mom’s letters when she was struggling as a single mother on a limited income. Many of these items I will keep–not only as a reminder of the past that shaped me, but to pass on to future generations. Other photos, letters, and objects have been given to certain other family members– it is part of the legacy THEY will pass on. Still other items I will let go– they have served their purpose and other items will take their place.

The little country church I attended as a child.

It has been tempting, with the amount of “stuff” that my Mom kept, to just throw everything out. Much of it has to be cleaned off, sorted, identified– and room must be found to keep it! So I also have to look around at what I have been hanging on to, and ask, “Why?” What lessons to I want to pass on? What objects tell an instructive story about my life? What impact will I have on others in the years to come?

One of the most difficult things to go through are the photos and letters my Mother kept. She kept nearly every letter and greeting card she ever received. They meant that much to her. Not the actual cards and paper– the thoughts, the love and connection–the people they represent were her greatest treasures on this earth. And I can’t keep them all. I don’t have space, and many of the people are strangers to me– her elementary classmates, co-workers from years gone by, great-aunts–people long since dead and, with my mom’s passing, forgotten by most. But I will keep some, because they are a testament to Mom’s love of others– her deep and abiding love for everyone who touched her life, and allowed her to touch theirs. I have thrown out, recycled, or given away many of Mom’s clothes and books, and I’m working to give away the thousands of unused greeting cards she had stockpiled but never sent. But most of all, I will keep the stories– stories of God’s faithfulness in her life; stories of how He worked in and through her life to touch hundreds of others; stories of how God’s Love blooms in the simple acts of kindness and baby steps of Faith; in the ordinary joys and tears and minor miracles of daily life.

And I will hold tightly to the stories of my childhood– of Moses and the Burning Bush; of Jesus the Good Shepherd; of David trusting God to face Goliath; of the women finding an empty tomb on the first Easter Morning. One of the pictures I inherited is a print of Jesus on the Road to Emmaus. Two men are walking along, talking to a third man. Such a simple act. Such an ordinary occurrence. But this is no ordinary walk– the man in the middle is the Risen Christ–the One who conquered death to bring eternal life to the two unsuspecting travelers. The print hangs on my wall now. The print itself is not of much material value– but the story! That is worth my life– to keep, to share, to cherish, to proclaim to those yet to come!

July 26, 2023 0

People, Places, and Things

Most of the time, when I lift up prayer requests, they are about people. I love people, and so does God, so it makes sense to remember those who are rejoicing, those who are mourning, and those who are struggling.

But I also pray about places. God created places, just as He created people. Through the prophets, God spoke of places– nations, certainly, but also specific mountains, rivers, cities, forests, and deserts. God pronounces judgment on people, but He mourns the destruction of places, as well.

At least once each month, I hope to post some thoughts or practices that I have found helpful in my pursuit of prayer over the years. Today, I want to talk about the importance of place.

Every day, on my prayer journal pages, I have a focus on a specific place. Yesterday, it was the island of Madagascar. Many times, I pray for the people of a specific place. Sometimes, I know of conflicts or natural disasters that impact the people living there. But often, I know very little about the places I pray for. I can look them up to find out more– what language do the people speak? what is the climate like? what are the natural resources of the area? Madagascar is home to many animal and plant species that are found nowhere else on the planet. God cares about His creation, and so should I. I may not have the resources to protect wildlife in Madagascar, but I know the creator and sustainer of all creation. And in praying for the land, people, and wildlife in Madagascar, I am taking the time to remember the vastness and variety of God’s creation, and His power to sustain life and cause it to flourish.

Jesus prayed over Jerusalem. He prayed over the Temple there. If Jesus can pray over places, then maybe we should, too. Over the past several weeks, I’ve been praying over the house where I grew up. After my mom’s death, we children decided to put the house up for sale. It hasn’t been an easy decision, but we feel it is the right one. I’ve been praying, not just that the house would sell, but that it would become a nurturing, safe place for a new family– a place where God would be honored and wonderful memories made. We aren’t finished with the process yet, but I believe that God can honor such prayers. God transcends “place.” He is omnipresent. But I believe that there are special places that resonate with the power of God’s work in the past (and other places that are haunted by the evil done there in years gone by). We should take time to acknowledge both the work that God has done in special places, and the need for His cleansing (and/or judgment) in others. Places are not more important that people, but they have lasting impact and are part of God’s purpose.

Cities, habitats, people groups, wildlife; wars, famines, floods and droughts, pollution and climate issues– from urban blight to toxic waste in the oceans. God’s heart is that we would do our best to care for the places in which we live– and that we would trust Him with the changes that are out of our control. Not just in Madagascar, or Ukraine or Rio de Janiero, but in our own backyard or in the next city block. Buildings, lakes, roads and parks– we can also lift them up in prayer, knowing that God is Lord of ALL around us–all that makes up life around us.

What might happen in our world if, instead of wringing our hands about climate change, we prayed and asked God what small steps we could take to make a difference right around us? What would happen if we prayed about the oceans and deserts and the wildlife that inhabit them– after all, I have no idea how many seals and gazelles, coral reefs and cacti there are in the world, but God knows them all!

Prayer doesn’t negate our need to care for the places around us– it’s still important to pick up litter, recycle, and be responsible about using, caring for, and disposing of resources. But praying about places will keep us “in tune” with God’s love of creation, and His desire that we honor Him in everything– everywhere!

July 21, 2023 0

A Prayer for the “Slurpee” Babies

(In honor of my grand-niece’s 16th birthday, I am re-posting this entry from last year. I have changed her name to honor her privacy, and I have updated her age in the text,)

Yesterday was July 11. In certain parts of America, it is known as “Slurpee” Day. “Slurpee” is a brand name for a slushy drink sold at 7-Eleven convenience stores around the country. And since we write our dates with the month, followed by the day, July 11th is also “7/11.” Many 7-Eleven stores offer specials on their “Slurpee” drinks all day. And on a hot July day, that’s a great deal!

But July 11th is also the birthday of a very special person in my life. I can still remember the day she was born, and seeing her for the first time. She was beautiful (and still is). She had a full head of thick auburn hair, and seemed delighted to be alive and in the world– and we were all delighted to greet her! I remember commenting that she was a “Slurpee” baby– being born on “Slurpee” day. But shortly after she was born, it became clear that all was not “right” for “Chelsea” (not her real name). Chelsea did not respond to sights and sounds like other babies. And she started having violent seizures. Doctors soon determined that Chelsea had experienced several small strokes when she was in the womb. They also determined that such strokes would continue, and her chances of survival were slim. Immediate brain surgery would be necessary. At one point, the prognosis was very grim– even with surgery, she might be blind, deaf, and unable to control the movement in her limbs–essentially, she would be a vegetable if she survived at all. The first year of her life was a roller-coaster of surgeries and hospital stays, followed by extensive therapy and treatment that continues to this day. But she survived!

So every July 11, Chelsea, and her friends and family, celebrate, not just her birthday, but her life— her survival, her triumph, and her continuing struggle. Chelsea is 16 this year! She cannot walk on her own, and she has trouble talking and using one arm. But she excels at school–she loves reading and music (Yes, she can see and hear!) and she loves anything having to do with animals, especially dogs and horses! She loves jokes and riddles, and loves to listen to her Daddy play the guitar, or watch the dog play in the yard, or spend time with horses at the therapy riding center. She even loves cool treats– not necessarily “Slurpees,” but sweet drinks and yogurt parfaits! Her life is not easy. Her parents still have to help her dress and eat, even though she is almost fully grown. She has to use adaptive technology to write and do her schoolwork (and what an incredible blessing that it exists!) She spends most of her days in a motorized chair. And, like most teenagers, she has “moody” days and gets frustrated–her physical limitations add to that frustration. But she loves life, and she inspires those around her to embrace the positive. She is as welcome as an ice-cold Slurpee on a hot July day– sweet, refreshing, and colorful!

I am writing about “Chelsea” today, because I love her– she is my grand-niece, and my favorite “Slurpee” kid! But I’m also writing because there are many other “Slurpee” children like her who are not alive today, or who are made to feel unwanted and “less than” other children. Chelsea’s health issues were not detected until after she was born. Had they “discovered” the damage she sustained in the womb, chances are very great that her mother would have been encouraged or even pressured to have an abortion. The early prognosis was so horrific, and the struggle so difficult, that it would have been seen as the “most humane” option. Her “quality of life” would have been weighed in the balance, and her right to experience life– even at it’s most difficult moments– would have been invalidated by those who claimed to “have her best interests at heart.” Her parents could have made the choice to put her in an institution, or give up on her chances to live a purposeful and fulfilling life. Instead, they made numerous personal sacrifices, and have advocated for Chelsea’s well-being. And, if you ask them, it was worth it all!

I’m not here to judge those parents who have had to face this horrible choice, or those who have determined that they could not provide the care needed to raise a child with “special needs.” The needs are very real, very difficult, very expensive, and sometimes heart-rending. Most people I know have never had to face such challenges. And even my nephew and his wife were not called on to decide on Chelsea’s fate until after they had grown to love her for the baby she was. And there are days when they feel overwhelmed by the responsibility to care for a child beyond what they had ever planned. But I have also known Chelsea, and other wonderful children with extreme needs, who make the world a better, richer, more empathetic, and more joyful place– not because they are “special needs”, but because they are uniquely SPECIAL individuals! I also know of parents who have opened their homes and arms to foster and adopt children with special needs. Their courage, love, and sacrifice have made it possible for thousands of lives to reach their incredible potential.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

God made each one of us to reflect His image in our own, unique way. And each individual has the power to shape the world around them for the better. My prayer today is that Chelsea, and all children who are marginalized because their lives are somehow deemed “less” than someone else’s, will find strength, hope, laughter, and respect. And that those of us who have had a “normal” childhood and family experience would embrace the joy that comes from LIFE itself, and praise the one who gives it– precious, abundant, joyful, and eternal life!

July 12, 2023 0

Promises to Keep

The month of June is “Anniversary Month” in much of my family. My parents and one set of grandparents were all married on June 1st. My brother and sister both celebrate anniversaries next week, as does my one of my brothers-in-law. Marriage is in trouble in our society– many marriages are ending in divorce, while others are choosing to wait longer before making a commitment or choosing not to marry at all.

We tend to celebrate marriage as being all about feelings of love, but marriage is really about making and keeping promises. Two people stand before witnesses and take sacred oaths to be faithful, to love, honor, and cherish (and yipes! sometimes even to obey) one another for the rest of their lives. And most people who take such oaths do so with honest intent. Why, then, does it seem to be failing so often?

Photo by Asad Photo Maldives on Pexels.com

One of the reasons has to do with expectations. We expect the same giddy feelings of delight we have during courtship to carry us dreamily into the future. And we expect that the way we act during courtship will be the norm– the “happily ever after” fairy-tale life of story books and romance novels. We expect that we will always be the same as we are now: young, carefree, beautiful/handsome, and eager to please and be pleased by the boy/girl of our dreams… This is unrealistic. And even when we say we know better, we hang on to unrealistic expectations for our relationships, just as we do for other situations and circumstances. Even our “soulmates” can disappoint us, fail to understand us, suffer failures and setbacks, battle depression or addiction, lose their youth and good health, and even question their feelings for us.

Another related issue is that we usually take vows when we are young and our future looks bright. Circumstances can change; plans can fail. War, disease, financial ruin, the loss or miscarriage of a child or children, forced changes in living arrangements or work schedules– all can put enormous stress on a marriage.

But not all marriages crumble under the weight of unusual or unexpected circumstances. Some seem to erode slowly, even under “good” circumstances. Why?

One reason I’ve seen as I look around is a seeming inability to make and keep small promises. We make big, broad promises at a wedding– “for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health..” “’til death us do part…” But we don’t promise to forgive him when he leaves the toilet seat up for the fifth time this week, or wait for her while she tries on every one of the six outfits she can’t decide on for the upcoming class reunion. We don’t promise to compromise on which family we will visit for Christmas each year, or what color we will have in the dining room. We think of marriage as a series of negotiations (which it IS), but ones in which one of us “wins” and the other “loses.” And if we consider that we are the “loser” in enough negotiations, we feel entitled to “break” our little promises.

Almost two years ago, my husband suffered an injury at work. He “punctured” his leg–the injury wasn’t huge, but it was deep, and on the back side of the leg, where he couldn’t see it. He knew it hurt, but thought it would heal up. Instead, it became infected. We had to go to the local wound clinic for several months, but between visits, I had to change the dressings, wash the wound, apply the various antibiotics and salves, redress the wound, etc.. David was still working full time, so the dressings would sometimes get sweaty and dirty on top of everything else. I promised to be faithful “in sickness and in health”– and that included washing out the pus-filled wound and caring for the pus-soaked dressings; it included wrapping his leg every other night for weeks. We went through hundreds of yards of gauze and anti-stick dressings, tubes of several different antibiotic salves, special compression socks, etc. Hundreds of dollars and hours later, his leg is slowly getting back to “normal.” During this same period, I was diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes. David has had to be patient with me as I learn to eat (and cook) differently. He has had to help me with glucose testing, dealing with low-sugar episodes, and put up with mood swings (even more than normal!).

And our health odyssey could be much worse– what about those who have to deal with cancer or dementia? But I think sometimes we minimize the commitment needed for the smaller, chronic conditions. The stress may be smaller, but it piles up, just the same. Our promises need to hold in the daily crises– big and small. And our promises need to hold when there is no crisis– and no adventure, either. Many marriages fall victim to “smooth sailing.” Things settle into a routine, and promises that were made to sustain the marriage in the face of “richer or poorer” fall apart in the settled comfort of middle class complacency. Vows take for “better or worse” fall apart in the “blah” and boredom of “good enough.”

Marriage is designed to be a picture of our relationship with Christ. As Christians, we are the “bride” of Christ! But we may need to review our vows and our commitment. Christ is eternally faithful; are we? In our flesh and our frail humanity, we cannot remain faithful on our own. But where are we? Have we lost our first love? Are we committed to Christ even in the midst of chronic illness or small setbacks? Are we flirting with the world because we have become “bored” with our Christian Walk? Has our joy been eroded by our failure to share our little stresses and secret sins with the Lover of our Soul?

Often, when we take a moment to remember our wedding day, we are reminded of the commitments we made, and the joy we felt on that special day. It can be bittersweet, if we have let circumstances or feelings pull us away from the one we love (or if they have moved away from their commitment). But it can be a wake-up call, as well, reminding us that promises made and promises kept are what leads to long-term joy and security. It can be helpful to take a few moments (or more) every once in awhile to remember when we came to Christ, and be reminded of the commitment we made– and the promises He has kept!

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah+31&version=ESV

Read Jeremiah 31 for more about God’s “marriage” covenant with Israel

https://www.openbible.info/topics/the_bride_of_christ

Use the link above to read more about marriage in the context of Christ and the Church

June 2, 2023 0