So Close…

I’ve been reading in the book of Numbers this week. Numbers is not the most exciting book of the Bible. Many of the chapters are about the census, or about further rules and regulations concerning sacrificial offerings, etc.. But the chapters from 11-15 detail a series of rebellions– grumblings against Moses and efforts to return to Egypt. These rebellions happen after over two years after God had led the people out of Egypt. For two years, they have been protected, fed, sustained, and instructed by God himself. His spirit has appeared as a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night throughout their journey. They have had manna and quail to eat, water from the rock to drink, and they have seen the vast army of Egypt drowned in a matter of minutes, while they were led through the sea on dry land!

And now, they are so close to the “finish line.” They are on the very doorstep of the land of Canaan; the land God had promised to GIVE them. All that is left is for Moses to send out some scouts to bring back a report about the land– its cities and farmland, its people and its produce. Those two years must have seemed like a lifetime, but now it would be coming to an end. God would provide a homeland; a place to build houses, raise crops, rear their children, and settle into lives of peace and prosperity.

So what happened? The scouts brought back a factual report. The land had fortified cities, and lush farmland. It was already planted with plenty of fruit trees and vineyards. And there were ancient people groups with mighty warriors. Israel had just taken a census. They also had mighty warriors, and a lot of them! Moreover, they had God’s promise that the land would be GIVEN to them as their inheritance.

They were so close! Victory, rest, and prosperity were so close they should have been able to taste them. Instead, their warriors moaned and wailed like infants. The same people who had vowed to follow the Lord at Mount Sinai, now planned to walk away from His promised prize. They decided to turn around and go back to slavery in Egypt–the same Egypt that God had decimated two years earlier by sending plagues and destroying its army.

Two years of camping and living “on the road,” lost in two hours of grumbling and fear-mongering. And the punishment? Forty years of needless wandering–time to realize what had been thrown away in petty worrying and imagining the worst. Time to regret their reaction and their failure to trust God. Time for God to show them, once again, His ability to keep them safe and sound in the desert places.

And the learning curve would be a steep one. Almost immediately, a group decided that they would “prove” to God that they were ready to conquer Canaan– on their own. But it didn’t work. Then a group decided that Moses was to blame for their misfortune. But they were “swallowed up.” In the forty extra years of wandering, group after group would challenge Moses (and God) and be destroyed from within. Moses, who had already lived forty years in the wilderness tending sheep, would have to repeat the task, shepherding the entire nation of Israel for forty long and difficult years. And even he would fall victim to his own frustrations, calling water from another rock, but doing it “his” way. Even Moses would fall in the wilderness, never getting to enter the promised land.

How many times have you noticed that the closer we get to a goal, the more likely we are to fall short. We sabotage our own efforts, or we rebel against good instruction. Sometimes we just give up a few yards short of the finish. We are just over half-way through the month of February. What goals or resolutions did you make for this year? How many of them have you stuck with?

Here are three things I take away from the lessons of Numbers 11-15:

Look Beyond. Don’t take your eyes off the prize! The scouts’ report was not all bad. Yes, the cities were walled and the warriors were big and fierce. But the walls of Jericho were eventually brought down without a single battering ram, siege ramp, or arrow! Don’t ignore the trials ahead, but don’t let them blind you to the blessings beyond them!
Look ahead, not behind. Don’t waste time living in past comforts or running from past mistakes. God has something better than whatever we’re going through now. But God isn’t waiting on the other side. He is beside us, around us, WITH us right now. He is patient with us. It may take us two years (or forty-two!) to reach a goal, but if we learn to follow God, we will never be forsaken.
Look UP! God’s spirit didn’t appear on the ground around the Israelite camp. He appeared as a pillar. God called Moses UP on Mount Sinai. We need to stop looking back at our past, or around, comparing ourselves to others, and look at God’s promises. In relation to our goals and dreams, we need to LIFT them up in prayer! Daily!

We are so close! Let’s keep going in the right direction towards God’s promises.

February 16, 2024 0

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence

Christmas is a time of joy and light. But the time of Advent is often a time of somber reflection. We remember a time we have never known– a time before the coming of Christ the Messiah– a time before the mysteries of Heaven were revealed and before the victory of Salvation was accomplished. Advent reminds us of the spiritual darkness that existed before God, in human form, in humble obedience, and in sacrificial love, became the Light of the World, and the Hope of All Nations.

Before the bells rang, and the angels sang; before the kings brought gold and the shepherds ran to tell the news; before there were Christmas Carols, Christmas decorations, or Christmas pageants– there was solemn silence, fear, dread, and waiting. God had been silent. The prophets had been silent. The world had grown hard and cold.

Jesus stepped out of the unfathomable glory of the Highest Heaven– surrounded by armies of angels all worshiping Him and ready to do His bidding. In an instant, He became a helpless fetus inside a helpless young woman, a subject of the Roman Empire, and at the mercy of her culture. Her fiance could have repudiated her; her parents could have disowned her; her community could have had her stoned to death, along with her unborn child. No one, even those who were anticipating the arrival of a Christ, was expecting this tiny baby growing inside the womb to change the course of history.

He was born in obscurity, in ignominious squalor. He was the Lord of All Creation, wrapped in rags and laid in a feeding trough in an overcrowded city at tax time. There were no bells or carolers, no glittering trees or festivals of lights, no sounds of joy and celebration– not in that manger in Bethlehem. Instead, there were strangers pushing and shoving, shouting, and snoring in the inns and houses and streets, being watched by soldiers and pickpockets alike, as they made their way through narrow, unfamiliar streets and tried to lock out the worry and danger and dread. There may have been silence in the fields and valleys outside of town, but not near the stable where Jesus was born. No. The “silence” we sing about during Advent is the silence inside our own hearts– a call to “be still,” and know that this baby we celebrate is God Incarnate. He is the One to whom every knee will one day bow, and every tongue confess that He is LORD.

In the stillness and silence of Advent, in the darkness lit only by candles and faint hope, we being to understand the contrast. We re-imagine what came before the joy and hope and eternal clouds of witnesses shouting, “Holy, Holy, Holy!” We remember the days and years before the angels sang, and the star danced across the night sky– before the shocking crucifixion and the glorious resurrection of this still unborn Savior.

Let us spend these days of Advent preparing our hearts for the true wonder of Christmas. It doesn’t come in the wrapped packages under a festive tree, or in the feasting with friends or family. It doesn’t come with sirens and parades, or speakers at the mall blaring out favorite tunes. It doesn’t come in the majesty of a Cathedral ringing with the voices of a choir and organ. It comes when the silence and darkness of our sin and dread are pierced with the overwhelming glory of God With Us– Emmanuel is coming! But for now, for these moments, Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence.

December 13, 2023 0

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep..

Now I lay me down to sleep;
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

I learned this prayer as a child. It seemed very grim, and pessimistic. As a child, I spent very little time (as little as possible) thinking of my own mortality, or the state of my soul after a day of playing with dolls or running around outside. I was blessed with a safe and easy childhood. Of course, I had days of sickness, a bout of chicken pox, the loss of a pet, news of neighbors who had died in war, fallen to cancer, or been killed in accidents–moments that caused me to reflect a bit more. But I didn’t want to think about serious things. I wanted peace and happiness.

As a younger adult, I came to the conclusion that prayers like this were old-fashioned, and designed to scare vulnerable children into a false faith based on fear and gloom. Shouldn’t children learn about the Love of Jesus and the Mercy of the Father, instead of worrying about death and eternal doom of their soul? Prayers like this would be “bad” for young children; traumatic and disturbing. Better to teach them prayers that were sweet and light, and full of only the goodness of God.

Lately, however, I remember things a bit differently. Yes, there is gloom and doom in this old children’s prayer, but there is also comfort, Love, and Mercy. As a child, I could “lay me down” to sleep in peace, knowing that God would, indeed, keep my soul from harm. I didn’t expect to die, but when I woke up dreaming of monsters, or suddenly became aware of mortality, I didn’t have to stay fearful. God is bigger than any monster; bigger then Death. I could not trust anyone better, mightier, or more capable than the Lord to keep my soul, or to “take” it safely to its final destination. I learned about the Goodness of God, but I also learned about stark realities– the persecuted Church, war, famine, injustice–things that God wants me to confront, and endure, and lift to Him in prayer. And for every “gloomy” reality, there are stories of victory and joy, faith and resilience, love and grace– because God is standing by, ready to rescue and reassure and redeem.

Bedtime prayers are a great comfort to me now. And they are also important prayers in my Christian Walk. It is at bedtime that I can reflect on God’s goodness throughout the day. I can be thankful for all the blessings God has given me, and for all the ways He has guided me and protected me– often without my knowledge and in spite of myself! Instead of worrying, tossing and turning, trying to “figure out” tomorrow, I can lift my burdens to God, knowing that I won’t face anything tomorrow alone! I can reflect on all the times I thought I couldn’t make it, but God made a way! And I can confidently rest in the hope that nothing can separate me from God’s loving care. Not yesterday’s guilt, nor today’s failures, nor tomorrow’s unknown (or imagined) trials– not even death!

I am old enough now that mortality plays a bigger role in my thoughts. I have lost my parents, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, classmates, co-workers, neighbors, and friends. I’ve experienced both great joy and great sorrow. But I need not be afraid of disease, dilemmas, or death. I need not worry about the state of my soul. I may have griefs, aches and pains, and worries about tomorrow. But I can “lay me down” in peace and patience, knowing I have a Good, Good Father whose love has surrounded me for over half a century. I can “Hush” all my fears, and sleep like a baby, knowing my God is always standing right by my side.

November 6, 2023 0

God Is Not Color-blind

My father was color-blind. He could distinguish the color red, but all other colors registered as shades of gray. Certain forms of colorblindness are treatable today, but Dad went through his whole life not seeing most colors. He knew the sky as light or dark, not piercing blue or deep blue or sunset indigo. He even told people his eyes were brown, because he couldn’t see how startlingly, wonderfully blue they were. He was cautious about getting dressed for events and such, worried that he would “clash.” He generally preferred neutrals. He liked that his company provided uniforms– it was much easier that way.

As I write this, I am looking out the window at a cornucopia of colors on the autumn trees– glowing shades of orange, deep reds, bright yellows, a few dark browns, and even some leaves still vibrant green. Autumn has come late this year, and the cold weather will bleed all the colors and cause the leaves to fall into a single great carpet (except where rakes gather them up into piles). It is marvelous to see so much variety in the individual trees; so much color and life, and beauty. God loves color! He loves to dazzle with surprising touches of unique shades, designs, and combinations. Towering trees with golden leaves, shorter, squat bushes with fiery reds, evergreens providing contrast. And in a few weeks, it will all be a memory, as leaves give way to snow-covered branches, and ice-trimmed bushes.

It made me think of the marvelous variety of people in our world. Each one unique, beautiful, and precious in God’s eyes. We tend to waste so much of our time comparing ourselves to others. Sometimes we wish we were like “them”– taller or darker, blue-eyed, or thinner, with hair that is curlier or blonder or just different from what God created. We feel that our bodies are “not good enough,” or not “right.” We long to be something else; someone else. At other times, we judge others by similarly narrow standards. “They” don’t look like us; they are “not good enough,” or “inferior” in some way. Of course, we don’t like to admit to any hint of bigotry or prejudice. We like to say that we are “color-blind” when it comes to people.

But God is not color-blind. He is deeply away of all the genetic differences in our skin and eyes and hair; all the high cheekbones and stubby fingers and freckles that are passed from generation to generation in some of our families. And God approves! God loves us all the same– lavishly, intimately, eternally! Just like the colors on the trees, God delights in our variety and differences– our “crooked” teeth; our “large” noses, our “mousey” brown hair, our “wide” hips. After all– He planned each one! He designed each of us to be who we are–from our bodies to our talents to our personalities. And someday, in Heaven, we will all be as one–not divided or obsessed with our “deficiencies” or differences, but united in our love and worship as never before– a great carpet of redeemed souls, spread around the Throne of God!

God isn’t color-blind; and neither should we be. We should celebrate each other, encourage each other, and love each other for who God made us to be. Sometimes, that can be difficult in our fallen world. Hurting people, fearful people, angry people– they may not be easy to love. They may judge us, reject us, even persecute us unfairly. But that’s not God’s original intention or purpose. We were meant to add our own unique beauty to an equally beautiful world.

Let’s pray that God would teach us how to show our “true colors” to the world, and reflect the beauty He planted in each one of us today!

October 30, 2023 0

Miss Whitcomb

When I was in seventh grade, I had a teacher named Miss Whitcomb. She was notorious throughout the school system as the “toughest” teacher we would ever have. She was ruthless. She demanded absolute quiet, she did not grade “on a curve,” and she never smiled. She had an ongoing war with grape-flavored chewing gum and students who were three seconds late for class. She gave impossible assignments and offered little in the way of help, comfort, or guidance. She had a point system for behavior, and most students ended up earning detentions. Everyone dreaded her class. Many normally confident and competent students failed her class. They worried themselves into sleepless nights and second-guessing their own abilities.

I suffered through two years of Miss Whitcomb’s classes. I had her for American History, English, and introductory drafting class. She was exacting and frustrating. But I learned a lot. Her assignments often seemed impossible, but some of them were creative as well as challenging. I never learned to love Miss Whitcomb’s class, but I learned to survive it– and, while I can’t say I learned to like her, I learned to respect her.

Years later, I returned to my home town as a teacher. And Miss Whitcomb was my colleague. A new generation of students were suffering under Miss Whitcomb’s impossible demands, and many were sure they could petition the school administration to get her fired. They came to me seeking support. I wouldn’t give it. I told them I remembered how difficult her classes were, but that I felt that it was important that they experience tough teachers, like Miss Whitcomb, because they would often experience tough bosses or professors, and tough situations as adults; learning to survive Miss Whitcomb’s class would give them practice for tough times in the future. And I suggested that they look at her classes as a challenge to be faced, rather than a punishment to be feared.

I had a difficult time understanding why Miss Whitcomb was so “tough.” But I got an insight from an unexpected event. A group of high school students were going on a field trip to see the hit musical, “Les Miserables” at a local university theater. They needed chaperones, and I agreed to come, as it was a wonderful chance to see a national touring company perform a terrific play. Surprisingly, Miss Whitcomb also came as a chaperone. I never thought of musicals as “her thing,” but she had decided to give it a try. Of course, the students were terrified of her, and she ended up sitting on the far side of the group (but it was a much quieter ride up to the campus!)

The play was magnificent, but Miss Whitcomb was very disturbed by it. The next day, she tackled the teacher who had organized the trip to complain. Her complaint was not with the students or the performers. It was about the story itself! She was somewhat familiar with the novel’s plot, but seeing it “live,” she was bothered by the character of Javert, and his pursuit of the main character, Jean Valjean. In the story, Javert has spent the better part of 25 years tracking Valjean, an escaped convict. When he finally finds him, Valjean ends up saving his life. Javert cannot reconcile that the “criminal” he has been looking for– his enemy– has saved him. Miss Whitcomb so identified with Javert, that she found the story untenable.

Why was she so upset? Because Javert was “righteous.” He represented the law. His quest was legal–his foe, Valjean, HAD escaped from prison. He had every “right” to pursue him and force him to complete his extra sentence (Valjean had completed his original term). But Javert was the one, in the end, who needed to be saved. And Valjean, who had every reason to let Javert die, risked his life to save his arch-enemy. This was not how Miss Whitcomb viewed life. The righteous should be the saviors; the guilty should be punished, not celebrated. Miss Whitcomb understood right and wrong– but she had no room for grace or forgiveness.

There is a Bible verse that has always caused me to be curious. Romans 5:8 is well known– “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” But Romans 5:7 says, “Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.” (emphasis added) Paul is making a distinction that Jesus also often made–not everyone who is “righteous” is “good.” In Mark 10, Jesus is asked by a rich young ruler what he must do to inherit eternal life. The young man calls Jesus, “good teacher.” But before Jesus answers the question, he turns it back on the young man. “‘Why do you call me good,’ Jesus asked. ‘Only God is truly good” (v. 18). The rich young ruler does not want to know how to become “good.” He does not want to learn from Jesus. He merely wants to be judged as “good enough” to inherit eternal life. And he believes that he is “righteous” enough to have earned it.

Miss Whitcomb was a dedicated teacher. She was a “righteous” educator. But she never learned (or was able to teach) compassion, humility, or mercy. And that was a lesson her students missed. It is a lesson far greater than knowing U.S. History, or Government, or English grammar. I have heard from some of her adult education students that she was far less harsh with them. I hope this is true. She had a lot to give, and she suffered greatly from her own high standards and lack of compassion in relation to her younger students. I believe she had “good” intentions– that she believed her high standards were “right” and that any show of mercy was a weakness. But she missed out on so much– so many students who might have liked her better, and learned more from her–by putting righteousness ahead of mercy.

We serve a God who is BOTH– completely HOLY and Good, and Righteous, as well as merciful, gracious and compassionate. God forgives us without lowering His standards. He sent His Son to save us– While we were yet sinners! Romans 5 continues, “Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!” (Romans 5:9-10) We don’t have to be terrified of God. We don’t have to be constantly reminded of our past guilt and shame. We don’t have to fear that we will “fail” to please God if we choose to follow Him.

October 11, 2023 1

..And Love Your Neighbor as Yourself

How can I please God? What does He require of me? I’ve been exploring the most basic answer to this question by looking at Jesus’ answer to the related question, “What is the greatest of all the commandments?” (See Matthew 22: 34-40) Jesus quoted from Deuteronomy (6:5) as He gave His two-part answer– Love God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and Love your neighbor as yourself! He went on to say that ALL of the commandments and laws hang on these two concepts.

So today, I want to look closer at the last of these– Love your neighbor as yourself. In another gospel, we see that Jesus is challenged to clarify, “Who is my neighbor?” https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2010%3A25-37&version=NIV When we want to justify ourselves, or narrow the letter of the law, we often stall obedience by seeking to “clarify” God’s commands. Jesus’ words are broad, but perfectly clear– Love your neighbor as yourself–love the next person you meet; the person closest to you, as if they were YOU.

This doesn’t give us room to reject anyone or exclude anyone from our love, compassion, or respect as a child of God. Nor does it give us the right to live someone else’s life, or take away their God-given free will to think and act for themselves. I have been guilty of both offenses, and I don’t think I am alone.

Two of the great mistakes we make in failing to “love our neighbor” come through fear and pride. In the story of the “Good Samaritan,” we see two examples of a priest and a Levite, who fail to show love to their fellow Jew. They act in fear– fear of being the next victim, perhaps, but also fear of being inconvenienced or pulled away from their plans and purposes, and fear of being “defiled.” How many times do I let fear keep me from reaching out? How often do I fear that people, even God, will think less of me for associating with those who need help? Yet Jesus was known for interacting with sinners, lepers, and other outcasts. How can I act differently, and please God more than His own son?

The other great mistake I have made is to “love” out of pride. Sometimes, I think I have more wisdom, or more material wealth, or greater skills, and that it is my right to “help” my neighbor in my own way and at my own convenience. I think I know how they should live, what they should do, and what they need– more than they do; sometimes even more than God knows! But I cannot love where I am not willing to be humble. This is true with God, and it is equally true with others.

That doesn’t mean that I love others best when I let them take advantage to my harm or to their own harm. And it doesn’t mean that I must agree with them completely or deny what I know to be right. But it means that I must value their well-being and worth in God’s eyes as equal to (and often greater) than my own. It makes me feel good to “fix” someone else by fixing their circumstances, or demanding that they accept my help, but their greater need may be to take control of their own circumstances and attitudes. My need to be “right” or “righteous” or “charitable” needs to take a back seat to whatever their greater need may be. I need to listen more than I speak; wait when I would rather act (or vice versa); to take direction rather than give it; and to give advice rather than orders.

The Apostle Paul spoke at length about love:

13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. ⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13: 1-7 NIV (via biblegateway.com)

I can “care” about others; I can be generous; I can be knowledgeable; I can volunteer, and make sacrifices; I can “feel” deeply, and empathize with others– and still NOT love them. Conversely, I can disagree with them about a number of things, including their life choices, political views, and spending habits, and still love them as Christ loves them. I can love those who like me, or ignore me; those who hate me, as well as those who love me back. But I cannot do this in pride or in my own emotions and thoughts. This kind of love can only be sustained by the source of true Love– God Himself.

This is why it is so important to learn from Jesus’ example. His perfect Love casts out fear and pride, and allows us to see others (and ourselves!) in the proper perspective.

October 6, 2023 0

Voice Mail

A couple of weeks ago, I was at a prayer meeting, and I set my phone to vibrate, so it wouldn’t ring and disturb everyone during prayer time. But I forgot to change the settings afterward. For three days, things were pretty quiet as my phone sat vibrating in my purse across the room, or plugged in to the charger overnight! I had several missed calls, and many voice mail messages waiting for me when I finally noticed what had happened. Some of the callers were trying to get in touch with me about my car’s extended warranty, but most were calls about personal or business matters that I should have responded to– if only I had heard the phone ring. This didn’t stop me from sending calls or text messages to other people; it just meant that I didn’t get their messages to me.

I think sometimes, we can do the same thing with other forms of communication, including prayer and Bible study. We send messages to God, but we live with our “ringers” off– unable to receive or respond to God’s messages to us. And, as we become aware of our neglect, we are afraid to check our “voice mail,” lest we find harsh or condemning messages from God. “Where have you been? Why aren’t you answering my calls? I’ve been trying to get in touch!”

Throughout the books of the prophets, God left such messages for His people. They “knew” His law, and His promises; yet they were deaf to His voice, and hard-hearted toward Him. Even as invaders were approaching, ready to destroy the Temple and carry the people away into exile, they ignored God’s call to return to Him and follow His ways. Instead, they prayed to worthless idols and made worthless treaties with neighboring nations– treaties they wouldn’t even keep. They listened to false prophets who only told them what they wanted to hear– that God would come to their rescue and ignore their “bad habits” and idolatry. Again and again, God sent prophets with messages of terror and destruction. And mixed into each was a message of hope and restoration–exile would come, but so would a Savior.

God still speaks through prophecies, though rarely. His greatest word was Jesus Himself, living out His Holy character, and dying to show us both the cost of Sin and the Glory of Grace! God’s “Voice Mail” message to us is Our Savior– not to save us from foreign invaders or earthly trials, but to save us from the power and slavery of Sin. His message is clear and consistent–“Follow Me!”

There are many other messages clogging our voice mail– from car warranties to frivolous memes; from distracting messages to false promises. It is important to check which messages are coming from God’s word, which messages are consistent with His Word, and which ones are contrary to His Word. God will never send a message that contradicts His Character– He will not whisper to us about “cheap grace” or set us up for failure. He WILL warn us of the consequences of Sin and offer us forgiveness whenever we repent.

Today, I need to check my “Voice Mail”. God is glad when I speak to Him, but He also wants me to listen and obey; to follow Him. There is a warning in God’s message– something far worse than a temporary exile is headed our way. But there is NO condemnation– only a plea to return to Him, and enjoy the Grace He wants to lavish on us. God’s message is far better than a car warranty– it is a message of Salvation and Eternal life; a continuing message of Hope and Restoration. If only I will listen and respond! Have you checked your voice mail lately?

August 21, 2023 0

Driven to Pray?

I met up with an old schoolmate last week, and he asked a question that made me think a lot. He wondered whether our generation– specifically our classmates and friends, were “driven.” His observation was that many of his nieces and nephews seem to have a lot of drive and ambition that he doesn’t remember seeing (or experiencing) in our youth. He noted that few of our friends have gone on to become lawyers or doctors, engineers or CEOs.

I wasn’t sure how to answer his observation. I started, but didn’t complete, a master’s degree. I know several of our friends who are teachers, paralegals, and business owners. Many have what most people would consider at least moderately “successful” lives– happy families, rewarding careers, the respect of others in their communities. And yet very few have distinguished themselves on the national or international front– aside, perhaps, from him! He is a tenured professor, with several published books, and has studied and/or taught at several universities around the world. If HE can’t remember being driven or ambitious, how does he explain his own “success?”

But the observation struck a nerve with me on a personal level. I know that many of my former classmates and long-time friends may find it odd that I have “settled” for the life I live. I own a business, but it is a modest one. I have taught and worked in libraries, but I could have chosen to become a professor or administrator or library director; I could have taken any of a number of more “important” or lucrative positions over the years. But I wasn’t driven to “succeed” in that way. Did I waste my potential? Was I lazy or fearful of success? Did I not have the potential, or did I not have the drive to become “more” than what I am?

Ultimately, I am driven (I hope) by the Holy Spirit. Not to become a “successful” person by the world’s standards, or even by my own ambitions, but to become the person God made me to be– a person who reflects His character and His priorities. I hope that I am becoming a “successful” follower of Christ– no matter what that looks like on the surface to classmates, neighbors, or family. I don’t need to be rich, famous, popular, or “important.” I DO need to be developing Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control (Galatians 5:22-23)

This week, as I have been meditating on the idea of “drive” and ambition and “success,” I started thinking about how it relates to prayer. I am driven to become more like Christ, and that includes being driven to live a life of prayer. But what really drives my prayer life? Because my pursuit of prayer and my practice of prayer may be “driven” by something other than pure motives:

Am I driven to pray because I believe that I am “ticking a box?” Have I read the Bible today? Check. Have I prayed some kind of prayer at some point? Check. Have I done a random act of kindness? Check. This is not really a spiritual pursuit of prayer. In fact, it can become idolatry– I can pray because I believe the act of praying makes me “better” or “good enough” to deserve God’s forgiveness or mercy. This drive comes from my own desire to control my growth and behavior. It is not “wrong” to set goals or make lists and stick to them. (After all, we are to be developing discipline and self-control!) But we must be careful not to shift our priorities from God’s discipline to our own lists and habits.
Am I driven to pray when/because others are watching? Am I seeking their approval more than I am seeking God’s face? Am I seeking to be “important” or pious, when God is asking me to be humble and obedient?

Perhaps I am praying out of fear, worry, or doubt. I am driven to pray in the same way that others are driven to consult a horoscope or carry a “lucky charm.” God wants me to trust Him. He knows that I will not always be perfect in Faith, but my prayers should not be double-minded (see James chapter one). I should not be using prayer to “hedge my bets” when faced with adversity. It is good to call out to God if we are frightened or uncertain, but we must develop Faith over fear. And in the end, God also wants us to be joyful in remembering and trusting in His promises
Am I driven by guilt or shame? It is good to confess our sins. But we also have to remember that IF we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us, and to cleanse us (1 John 1:9). If I am still confessing the same sins over and over, is it because I didn’t really trust God to forgive me, or because I didn’t really want to repent and change my ways– I just wanted a “free pass” to keep sinning, but not feel guilty for the consequences?
Maybe I am driven to pray for others because I think MY prayers can save them, or influence their life. Again, this can become idolatry. We have been given the amazing opportunity to pray for others. God already knows their needs– better than we can! And God can do miracles without any input from us. Yet He chooses to give us the privilege of praying and participating in His work! Again, it is commanded that we pray for one another, but we must remember to Whom we are praying. Our prayers for others are part of a circle– God’s Spirit moves us to compassion and concern– we take that compassion and lift up others before His throne. He knows what is best; He will do what is best. He wants us to participate, not to dictate!
Sometimes, I may be driven to “dictate” a particular outcome in my own life. My own ambition may be to become what I want, rather than what God wants for me. This can be a tricky concept. There are ambitions that God lays on our hearts– they are not wrong, but God’s timing may not match ours. I prayed for years to be married; to “find” the “right” mate, and to “be” the right mate. I even prayed that God would change my heart if my ambition was “wrong.” God’s timing was certainly not my timing. The ambition was not wrong, but my patience and trust needed to be developed.
Perhaps I am NOT driven to pray…maybe I lack the focus or lack the drive in my walk with Christ because I am drifting away from my first Love. I am driven to seek after something other than intimacy with my Creator. Maybe I am so content with my life “as it is” that I am not seeking direction and correction from the Holy Spirit. Perhaps I do not have the compassion and drive to pray for others because I do not see them fully as God sees them. Perhaps I do not trust God fully with the “little” things in my life because I do not see my need for His guidance.

I think it is not a bad thing to wrestle periodically with questions like this. Maybe today is the right time to ask, “Am I driven to pray? What drives me to my knees? What should be driving me there?”

August 9, 2023 0

“Praying” Hide and Seek With God

A strange image popped into my head the other day while praying with our Wednesday morning prayer group from church. I was trying to express the amazing paradox that we are being pursued by a God who is omnipresent, while seeking the same omnipresent God. And the image God gave me was one of playing a game– “Peek-a-boo” or “Hide and Seek.” Of course, prayer is not just a game– it is nothing less than communicating with the Sovereign Lord of the Universe! But God delights in our prayers, and He delights in delighting us as we learn and experience new aspects of His Character.

I love to play “Peek-a-Boo” with babies and toddlers. They love the idea of being “discovered” and “finding” someone. There is a moment of supreme joy in finally seeing oneself in the eyes of the beholder– that moment of recognition and reaction to being the focus of someone’s attention–the joy of intimate connection, “I SEE YOU!” But the game only brings joy if both of us are present and interacting. It brings no joy to a baby to see me staring off into space, or glued to my cell phone. The baby might be intrigued, or even comforted by my nearness, but there is a deeper thrill when she knows that my eyes will shine as they are revealed– looking directly at her! And I get great joy from seeing the baby’s delight.

The same is true of “Hide and Seek.” Yes, the idea is to hide from sight–for awhile. But what fun is it to hide and never be found? What fun to search for someone who has gone away and has no desire to be discovered again? The joy of the game is in that moment of discovery and being discovered– even though we know the other person is somewhere close by, there is that moment of re-connection that brings a jolt of delight. AHA!! I have found you! AHA! You searched for me and found me!

This is the great tragedy of Sin. Sin causes us to want to hide and NOT be found. (See Genesis 3:8-10). We live in shame and fear, dreading the thought of God finding the “real” us, the secrets we carry, and the ugliness of our hearts. We are frightened by the thought that God is omnipresent– that He sees us; that He sees THROUGH us! We do not want to “Face” God’s justice, and see disappointment and anger in His face. Instead, we want to run away, to cover our eyes, if He will not cover His.

Conversely, this is the great joy of being a Christian. We don’t hide from God’s presence; instead, we turn to Him in delight and recognition. We pray to BE found and to be seen! Finding God, and being found BY Him, involves no fear, no condemnation (Romans 8:1), and no shame. God sees us– all our secrets and shame– through the blood of Christ’s redemption. We are “Born” again– like babies, we can revel in the connection with Our Loving Father. Like a child waiting for the “boo” in Peek-a-Boo, we anticipate the day when we will see Him face-to-face in all His Glory; in the meantime, each glimpse of His Grace, each revelation of His Faithfulness, builds our Hope and our Joy, excites our anticipation, and makes our Heart yearn for the future.

God is omnipresent. His spirit is all around us all the time. As Christians, His Spirit is indwelling– He is not just all around us, but He lives and works IN us and THROUGH us! And yet, God delights in those moments when we turn away from the world around us to focus on just Him. In the same way, even though God is everywhere, He seeks after us and pursues us with a passion and devotion that knows no limits– “Here I am!” “I SEE YOU!” “You are the one who makes my eyes shine!” “I LOVE YOU!”

Today, as you turn away from the world to focus on the Lover of Your Soul, may you find that incredible delight in recognizing His Presence for what it is– Divine, Eternal, Limitless, and Loving.

August 4, 2023 0

“Just a Vacation” by Faith

There is an old joke about a young boy who could hardly wait to go to a local evangelistic service. He begged to go– he counted the days– he thought of little else. Surprised and a little curious, his mother finally asked him why he was so excited. He said, “Mom, they said on the radio that the evangelist is going to be talking about “just a vacation” by faith. I want to go along– especially if he’s taking us to Hawaii!”

Of course, the joke is that the boy misunderstood what he had heard over the radio waves– “Justification” for “Just a vacation.” The evangelist wasn’t promoting travel or taking time off from work, or relaxing on an exotic beach somewhere.

But I think we often make a similar mistake when we talk about Faith. We make it sound like a vacation– a vacation from worry; a vacation from consequences; even a vacation from reason and “justification” for our beliefs. We carry our Faith as a kind of talisman against bad circumstances, or like a “free pass” from worry or responsibility. “If I just believe it, I will receive it!” is a great meme, but we need to believe in Jesus Christ– not just our belief about belief.

Faith goes hand in hand with work. Faith, according to the writer of Hebrews, “is the substance of things hoped for– the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1 emphasis added) Faith is more than just positive or wishful thinking; more than just the power of hoping for the best; more than just acceptance of traditions and platitudes, or falling under the spell of a powerful speaker. It results in changed thinking and a changed lifestyle. Faith is transformative– our new life is evidence of our Faith IN Christ and His Holy Spirit working IN us! We don’t take a “vacation” from our old life or old habits– we change course. Faith isn’t momentary or circumstantial.

Nor is Faith about taking a vacation from responsibilities or hardships. Faith doesn’t magically make pain go away or trials vanish. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have cause to worry, or even to question, “Why?” Instead, Faith wrestles with such questions, and moves ahead, even when we cannot see over the next rise. Faith doesn’t make hard circumstances go away, or painful problems vanish. Hard times are still hard; pain is still pain, even with Faith. But Faith makes the seemingly unbearable, bearable. Faith gives us the endurance and the peace that helps us– with Christ– overcome whatever comes our way (See Philippians 4:12-13)

Faith doesn’t change our circumstances– it changes our perspective. Today is difficult– but today is not the same as forever. Tomorrow’s unknowns might be frightening, but so were yesterday’s trials. God was there with us then; He is with us today, and He has promised to be with us always. Our lack of faith doesn’t negate God’s promises, nor does our Faith cause them. But our Faith has a solid foundation– one that has been put to the test by millions of others over thousands of years and has not been found lacking! God is Faith-ful!

So when I pray today, I am not coming to God with wishful thinking or wondering if God will hear my prayer or be willing to act on my behalf. I trust that God knows my needs, hears my prayers and will answer according to His wisdom. He knows exactly what I need and when I need it– not just what I desire in a particular moment or when I think I would like my circumstances to change–but my true need. Whether or not that includes a vacation!

July 17, 2023 0

Tag: fear