Out of the Same Mouth

Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 

James 3:5-10 NIV via biblegateway.com (emphasis added)

‘We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.’

Epictetus (Greek philosopher)

Have you ever made a tape of you speaking, and played it back to listen to yourself? Or have you had someone remind you of what you said earlier in the day or week? Have you been astonished to hear what came out of your mouth (or how someone else interpreted your words)? James, the brother of Jesus, had much to say about the dangerous power of an untamed tongue. “Fire”, “poison”, “corrupt”, “restless”, “evil”, and “deadly” are harsh words, but we should heed James’ warning.

Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing…
Out of the same mouth come worship and complaining…
Out of the same mouth come encouragement and gossip…
Out of the same mouth come blessings and bitterness…
Out of the same mouth come hymns of heaven and threats of hell…

And it’s not just our mouths, anymore. I see (and have seen it in my own feeds) posts on social media that make me wonder if the person posting is aware of what they posted just minutes or hours before–rants and boasts, complaints and smug condemnation sprinkled with Bible verses about Peace and Love, and pictures of puppies. We copy and paste, write and speak “in the moment” out of the emotions and thoughts that we allow to govern us. And while we may forget our momentary outbursts and random sarcastic comments, others do not. God does not ignore them, either. He can and will forgive them, but He isn’t “fooled” by our gracious cover-ups and flowery quote boxes.

Especially in this election season, it is tempting to let emotions and “righteous” indignation cause us to speak or post in ways that show disrespect, disdain, and even hatred toward neighbors, co-workers, and (yes, possibly) relatives who may vote differently or for different reasons than we do. We hurry to post or “share” clever put-downs or preachy thoughts about what others should “know” or how they should think and act. But would we say such things in person? Do we really mean to hurt others in our quest to be “right” or clever or morally virtuous in the eyes of a few people we barely know?

When I pray today, I need to “listen” to what I’ve been saying lately. Do I need to deal with hidden anger or resentment? Do I need to confess (both to God and to someone else) about gossip? Do I need to reconsider the way I speak about my relationships and my achievements (and failures!)? Do I need to stop following or sharing certain sites or content? Do I need to spend less time talking and posting than listening and praying?

The same mouth that praises God should be speaking life, peace, healing, and hope to those around me. The same mouth that promises to follow Christ, should promise to reach out to those for whom He died. The same mouth that gives thanks for Salvation should be eager to share the Good News.

The tongue is powerful–whether as a weapon or a tool; whether controlled or out of control. God wants to teach us to use it as a tool for good. Not just when we pray, or worship, but every time we use it!

I Don’t Care What You Know..

There is a saying: “I don’t care what you know, until I know that you care.” I went to the bank yesterday, and there was a line. There were only two tellers available (other bank workers were dealing with larger issues in their offices, so there was no back-up, either). Both drive-thru windows had lines, as well. This is a small bank, but a recent closure of a nearby branch means that it is now busier than before, with the same amount of staffing.

The woman ahead of me in line was impatient and angry. She kept repeating the obvious– “They need more tellers! There aren’t enough tellers!” She was rude and demanding, and when she finally got to the front, and a teller (harassed and overworked) patiently and politely asked how she could help, the customer repeated, “You need more tellers here!” The teller explained that corporate policy allows only so many workers per shift, and they were all busy. It was the first of the month– one of their busiest days for cashing checks and dealing with monthly payments. The customer, somewhat abashed, apologized for her rudeness.

The customer “knew” that she would have been served faster if there were more tellers at the front. She knew how SHE would like to have the bank policy play out in her favor. But she didn’t really know the whole story. Her snap judgment wasn’t based on complete knowledge, but on emotion and assumption.

Earlier this week, I was praying about a woman I know slightly. I had heard that she was in a bad housing situation. Her house needed major repairs, and she could not afford them. I prayed that God would act, providing her with “better living conditions.” I assumed that God might provide for her to get a new roof or water heater, or pay down some of her bills. The next day, I heard that her house burned down!

What should I make of God’s response to my prayer? Did He not hear me? Doesn’t God care? Is He laughing at this woman’s misfortune? Is He laughing at my feeble and vague prayer request? Someone reading just the details I have provided (my prayer, and the incident of the fire) might decide they “know” that God is malicious or that He simply doesn’t exist or answer prayer. But are they correct in that conclusion?

NO! God cares. He cares deeply. I was moved out of concern to pray for a woman I barely know. Many others have been praying for her for several weeks, as well as offering her counsel and help in trying to find alternative housing or financial assistance. I don’t know the true extent of her needs– not just housing, but her spiritual, emotional, and other physical needs. God does! We tend to put our hope and trust in our circumstances– even desperate ones– and our ability to control, manipulate, or just survive them. This house had been a burden for a long time, yet the woman steadfastly endured high bills, bad roofing, and poor conditions.

God IS answering my prayer– and the prayers of many others– as help is pouring in for this woman. She was uninjured in the fire, and she has a temporary place to stay. Furthermore, she has people helping her plan ahead for permanent housing, financial needs she will have in the next few weeks and months, and making sure she does not have to face this tragedy alone.

Sometimes, God’s blessings are wrapped in sorrows. Sometimes, we must endure waiting, hardship, and even loss in order to experience growth and peace. Sometimes, we have to deal with impatient customers, long lines, or personal tragedy. God KNOWS. He doesn’t just know our present circumstances and pain. He knows the final outcome, and all that He wants to accomplish THROUGH our present circumstances. And God CARES. He cared about the angry customer in front of me at the bank. He cared about the overworked teller waiting on us. He cared about the woman who lost her house. He cares about each one– no matter what circumstances may suggest. He does not leave us alone in our trials– even when it may feel like He has abandoned us. There are people somewhere in the world praying for you right now. They don’t know what will happen to you today or tomorrow, but they know that God is sovereign. And the Holy Spirit prompts them to pray, even when they don’t know, for God to bless you, protect you, and watch over you.

Two things I have taken away from my experiences the other day: First– God is ALWAYS Trustworthy! I said a quick prayer for the harassed teller and her customer as I waited in line (it’s not like I didn’t have any time to pray!) And sure enough, as she waited on the woman and then on me, the lines at the drive thru windows melted away. She was able to take time to explain her situation to the customer ahead of me, and she was able to take her time waiting on us both. She kept her temper in check and managed to smile through the transactions! And her calm response helped the customer realize her rudeness and apologize. I don’t think that was just coincidence. And I don’t think it was coincidence that several people have been praying for weeks about the other woman’s housing situation. The fire wasn’t an answer to our prayers– our prayers were preparing for an answer to the fire!

The second reminder– Pray without ceasing (1Thessalonians 5:17). While my experience at the bank called for immediate prayer and found an immediate response, my other prayers have been going on for weeks and months. Nothing seemed to be happening. Yet God was preparing for an event I had no way of foreseeing. We want quick answers to prayer. We want easy answers to our prayers. But God’s ways are not our ways. His ways are mysterious to us, but they are for the best, not just the most convenient.

When we pray, God doesn’t care what we KNOW (or think we know). And He doesn’t always give us the knowledge we’re looking for. But He KNOWS! And He CARES! He honors the prayers we lift up because we know Him, and because we care about others.

The God Who Whispers

19 1-2 Ahab reported to Jezebel everything that Elijah had done, including the massacre of the prophets. Jezebel immediately sent a messenger to Elijah with her threat: “The gods will get you for this and I’ll get even with you! By this time tomorrow you’ll be as dead as any one of those prophets.” 3-5 When Elijah saw how things were, he ran for dear life to Beersheba, far in the south of Judah. He left his young servant there and then went on into the desert another day’s journey. He came to a lone broom bush and collapsed in its shade, wanting in the worst way to be done with it all—to just die: “Enough of this, God! Take my life—I’m ready to join my ancestors in the grave!” Exhausted, he fell asleep under the lone broom bush. Suddenly an angel shook him awake and said, “Get up and eat!”
He looked around and, to his surprise, right by his head were a loaf of bread baked on some coals and a jug of water. He ate the meal and went back to sleep. The angel of God came back, shook him awake again, and said, “Get up and eat some more—you’ve got a long journey ahead of you.” 8-9 He got up, ate and drank his fill, and set out. Nourished by that meal, he walked forty days and nights, all the way to the mountain of God, to Horeb. When he got there, he crawled into a cave and went to sleep. Then the word of God came to him: “So Elijah, what are you doing here?” 10 “I’ve been working my heart out for the God-of-the-Angel-Armies,” said Elijah. “The people of Israel have abandoned your covenant, destroyed the places of worship, and murdered your prophets. I’m the only one left, and now they’re trying to kill me.”
11-12 Then he was told, “Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by.” A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn’t to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn’t in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn’t in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.


13-14 When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there. A quiet voice asked, “So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?” Elijah said it again, “I’ve been working my heart out for God, the God-of-the-Angel-Armies, because the people of Israel have abandoned your covenant, destroyed your places of worship, and murdered your prophets. I’m the only one left, and now they’re trying to kill me.” 15-18 God said, “Go back the way you came through the desert to Damascus. When you get there anoint Hazael; make him king over Aram. Then anoint Jehu son of Nimshi; make him king over Israel. Finally, anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. Anyone who escapes death by Hazael will be killed by Jehu; and anyone who escapes death by Jehu will be killed by Elisha. Meanwhile, I’m preserving for myself seven thousand souls: the knees that haven’t bowed to the god Baal, the mouths that haven’t kissed his image.” 19 Elijah went straight out and found Elisha son of Shaphat in a field where there were twelve pairs of yoked oxen at work plowing; Elisha was in charge of the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak over him. 20 Elisha deserted the oxen, ran after Elijah, and said, “Please! Let me kiss my father and mother good-bye—then I’ll follow you.” “Go ahead,” said Elijah, “but, mind you, don’t forget what I’ve just done to you.” 21 So Elisha left; he took his yoke of oxen and butchered them. He made a fire with the plow and tackle and then boiled the meat—a true farewell meal for the family. Then he left and followed Elijah, becoming his right-hand man.
1 Kings 19 (The Message)

As a child, I was confused by this story from the life of Elijah the prophet. Just before this, Elijah had challenged the prophets of Baal and Asherah. He was outnumbered 850 to one, yet he stood defiantly, and asked the people of Israel to choose between their false gods and the one true God. God had produced fire on the mountain and shown His mighty power, while the false prophets were humiliated and later slain. It was a stupendous victory! And yet, Elijah, when told of Queen Jezebel’s anger, fled in terror, hid in the wilderness, and asked for death! Surely, Elijah remembered what God had just accomplished. Surely he knew that the same God who sent fire and ended the drought could protect Elijah from harm. Didn’t he? And I expected that God would react with consternation at this display by Elijah–how ungrateful to throw such a pity party after God had done such a miracle!

But God did the most curious thing. He could have sent a powerful reassurance. He could have ordered Elijah to return to the palace to deal with the wicked king and queen–finish the job and bring divine justice to Israel’s ruling family. He could have called Elijah out over his bad behavior and lack of faith. But God let Elijah whine and run away. And after Elijah threw a temper tantrum, God sent an angel to bring him food and water. Finally, God allowed Elijah to see His power in the forms of a mighty wind, an earthquake, and a fire. And it was THEN, and only then, that God spoke to Elijah in a still, small voice– a whisper– something so intimate and comforting that Elijah could not fail to recognize that it was the voice of God.

God CAN and will do mighty miracles. But so often, He prefers to work in a whisper. He is Glorious, and Powerful, and Omnipotent– yes. But He is also intimate and gentle and nurturing– especially with those who have ears to listen; those who have been broken down; those who need a quiet voice of reassurance and peace.

As I have grown older, I see so much in this passage that I couldn’t see as a child. I see how often I “lose it” just after I think I’ve won a great victory. I see how many times God has come to me in whispers and little gestures– just when I need a gentle hug and a simple reminder of His care. God is not the one who points out my temper tantrums and lack of faith. God doesn’t yell recriminations at me– even when I know I deserve them! I see how often I throw a tantrum, and expect God’s wrath, only to be met with His arms around me, calming me, lifting my head so I can look into His eyes of compassion and mercy. God is my Father– and a gentle, wise, and loving Father. And when He draws me close– He whispers of His Love.

Yes, God sent fire from the mountain. He caused justice to be done upon the false prophets. It was mighty; it was fierce; it was devastating. God IS a God of wrath– and even prophets can get wounded in the fight. There is evil in the world, and when we stand up to it, it is exhausting– even when we know God is with us. But God knows our limits. He will often give us more than we can handle– in our own power– and He will pull us through the kind of trials that test and stretch those limits. But He is also preparing a time and place of rest and His quiet whispers of encouragement and hope when we are tempted to give up.

God didn’t just whisper empty promises or nice-sounding platitudes when He finally spoke to Elijah. He brought a new message– someone else would be God’s instrument of justice for Ahab and Jezebel. Someone else would come alongside Elijah in his ministry. And someone else (7,000 someone else-s in fact!) WERE being faithful. Not only had God been with Elijah in the past, God had been preparing the future for Elijah to receive rest, and for others to rise up and carry on. He could have shouted this message from the mountaintop. But He wanted to whisper His message of hope to a faithful prophet who needed quiet reassurance after a difficult battle.

I don’t know what God wants to whisper to me (or to you) today. But I pray that we will have ears to hear, and hearts to respond. And God will whisper to us, whether we just defeated an army of enemies, or just woke up from a much needed nap! He will gently remind us that He loves us in our tantrums just as He loves us in our victories. And He will whisper, because that’s how close He really is in our every moment!

Just 10 Percent

Bible teacher and author Chuck Swindoll is credited with saying, “I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent of how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.” When I was younger, I liked this quote, but I quibbled with the numbers. Surely, we are in control of our reactions and attitudes. And our circumstances don’t determine our lives completely. But just 10%?! What about those whose circumstances are overwhelmingly tragic?

I thought of some of my father’s experiences, and it seemed as though what happened to him in four short years should have had a greater impact on his life. During the four short years that my father was in high school (1945-1948), his family experienced at least three tragedies. Dad grew up on a farm. His dad was a dairy farmer, as was his grandfather. Dad grew up expecting that he would, along with his father and brothers, spend the rest of his life as a farmer. But then, everything changed. First, Dad’s oldest brother was drafted into the Army at the very end of World War 2. Though my uncle was not in combat, he was badly wounded in Germany, as his unit was sent in to find unexploded bombs and land mines, and ordered to clear out rubble. Dad had lost one cousin in the war, and several others had come home wounded or changed, but my uncle’s situation was post-war, and unexpected. It meant more work for my grandfather and the two younger sons, even as they were still in school. It meant uncertainty, as they waited for word from thousands of miles away over several months.

Uncle Jack recovered and returned to the farm. But then, on Christmas Eve, there was a house fire. While the family escaped without major injuries, the house was a total loss. Furniture, clothes, pictures, heirlooms, farm records and financial papers– all gone. Dad moved in with his aunt and uncle to continue his education. But two weeks before graduation, his father died suddenly from complications from emergency gall bladder surgery. My father’s world had been turned upside-down in just a few short years and at a critical juncture in his life.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

However, as I’ve matured and thought about it over the years, those events, among other tragedies and triumphs in Dad’s life, really DID only amount to a small percentage of his life. Even numerically/chronologically, those four years were less than ten percent of Dad’s time on earth. Dad couldn’t control the events of those years. He couldn’t have predicted them, and he couldn’t erase them or go back and undo them. But he chose how to respond and react to those events. He learned from them.

Circumstances in our lives, whether tragic or terrific, present us with choices. Will we turn to God, or away from Him? Will we become better, or bitter? Will we seek to assign blame, or seek solutions? My dad and his brothers were not able to continue the dairy farm their father had built up. Without the records and registration papers for the various cows, without their father’s experience and acumen, without money to upgrade their facilities and equipment, they had to sell most of what their father had built up. Uncle Jack kept the farm land, but he took a second job. Dad was drafted and sent to Korea for his own post-war odyssey, and came home to work at the local feed mill, and later in a factory job. He passed away several years ago, partly as a result of complications from gall bladder surgeries.

My dad’s life was impacted and shaped in part by tragic circumstances. But Pastor Swindoll is right– at least 90 percent of my dad’s LIFE was shaped by his attitude and character. My father was a man of faith and integrity. He cherished his family and his role as a father– partly because of the loss of his own dad; but also because of the lasting legacy his father had passed on. He spoke often of his wonderful memories growing up on the farm. He lost out on his dream of being a farmer. But he also made wonderful memories with the life he chose to pursue off the farm– picnics and vacations, family reunions, family devotions, watching baseball (live or on TV), sharing laughter and tears, and making sure we knew we were loved and protected. He ministered to people in the community, mowing lawns for widows, or visiting shut-ins. He taught us to love music, baseball, and animals. He taught us the value of prayer, reading the Bible, and living a life of faith. Dad could have been bitter. He could have chosen to wallow in self-pity or anger. He could have become obsessed with rebuilding the life he “lost” to circumstances. He could have decided that God had “robbed” him of the future he had expected to have. But he chose to believe that God had a plan for his life; one that was bigger than his boyhood dreams and bigger than his expectations. Dad didn’t rise to great wealth and power. In the world’s view, his life was not a great success. He never became rich or famous; he wasn’t powerful or important in politics or business. But the memories he treasured and the relationships he developed were far more than 10% of his life!

As I get older, and look back on the circumstances of my own past, I am encouraged and challenged to think that they represent only a small fraction of my life. I can’t control many of my circumstances– health setbacks, financial struggles, accidents and tragedies. But I can control my attitude and my response. I wanted to marry young and have children and raise a family. But that never happened. I married late, I was barren, and my step-children were already grown. I wanted to live in a big farmhouse; instead I live in a small apartment. But I would not go back and undo the circumstances that have shaped my life. I have marvelous step-children and grandchildren. I have had opportunities that were only possible because I was single for so long and because I was childless. I have a better appreciation for the family I have– including nieces and nephews and cousins– than I might have had if I had been wrapped up in my own smaller family. Dad taught me to trust God’s plans for my tomorrows. That’s what he did. And I choose to do the same– after all, God controls 100% of my future!

How Firm a Foundation

  1. How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
    Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
    What more can He say than to you He hath said—
    To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
  2. “Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
    For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
    I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
    Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
  3. “When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
    The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
    For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
    And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
  4. “When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
    My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
    The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
    Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
  5. “The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
    I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
    That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
    I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”
fire fighter wearing black and yellow uniform pointing for something

“How can you believe in a God who lets bad things happen?”
We live in perilous times; dangerous times.  Fires have swept through Canada and Hawaii (and elsewhere); massive heat waves have caused drought and death in many parts of the world; hurricanes have hit California and and the Caribbean, and another threatens Florida even as I write this. Wars rage in Ukraine and elsewhere; crime seems rampant in major cities on every continent. Diseases– even those we considered eradicated or “tamed” are making a comeback. Waste and pollution devastate our oceans, rivers, woodlands, and even the air we breathe. Often, it seems as if God is absent or powerless–sitting on the sidelines and letting bad things happen.  Those of us who claim faith in an omnipotent, loving, and gracious God are mocked and challenged.  How can we believe in the face of such evil, disaster, and injustice?  How can we offer the empty comfort of prayers and assurances?

It can be very difficult to face such challenges– there are no easy answers and “mic-drop” moments for us in this world.  But that doesn’t mean that there are no answers or that our faith is “blind” or without merit.

The Bible is filled with examples of people who followed God in extraordinary circumstances, often in the face of great evil and with little logical expectation of God’s blessing or help.  Abraham traded a wealthy, safe, and honorable life in his native land to live as a stranger and a nomad among foreigners.  Even after God seemed to fulfill the promise of a son, he tested Abraham’s faith, asking him to sacrifice his only son Read the complete story here...  Many people see this story as a horrific example of injustice and cruelty– and if Abraham had been required to go through with the sacrifice, it might seem even more unjust and cruel.  However, there are two points to consider:

  1. God clearly planned to rescue Isaac–there was a ram in the thicket all ready and waiting.  Abraham may not have known God’s purpose in asking such a thing, but he had faith that “God will provide for himself the lamb…”  God may have been “testing” Abraham, but he already knew the outcome.  The “test” was not for God–perhaps not even for Abraham–the test was for Isaac and all who would follow and experience the blessings that came through this amazing act of faith.
  2. The story of Abraham, like so many others, is given to illustrate difficult truths– sometimes about God’s character, or OUR character, or the nature and consequences of Sin.  These stories also often form patterns of allegory, foreshadowing, or illustrations of key principles and events.  Abraham was told to sacrifice his only and very beloved son– a horrible prospect for any father.  But God provided a substitute sacrifice– a lamb– allowing Isaac to live and become the father of many nations.  God’s plan for the salvation of the world was built on the same pattern.  God sent his only and very beloved “son” to be the substitutionary sacrifice for the sins of all mankind– a horrible prospect for a loving Heavenly Father.  And this time, the son willingly gave His life to become the fulfillment of the promise acted out in Abraham’s story.
shallow focus photography of sheep

And, of course, there are hundreds of other stories– throughout the Bible, and throughout history– that demonstrate the blessings that come through radical and even tiny acts of faith in God.

Hebrews, chapter 11 lists several examples.  And a key verse in the chapter points out:

13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.

Hebrews 11:13 (KJV)

These great examples of faith died without seeing the end results..but the end results are there for US to see!  Faith in humanity– faith in Science– faith in ourselves– these are doomed to end in disappointment.  Not because we don’t believe enough; not because these things are “bad”– but because faith needs an unshakeable, immovable, solid, and eternal foundation.  Our faith in Christ is not a blind faith, an empty faith, or a desperate faith– it is a Faith that is firmly rooted in history, in observable facts, and in revealed truth.  And even in the fiercest storms, the worst of disasters, and the overwhelming flood of hatred and evil in the world, our faith stands firm and sure– not because it is “our faith”, but because it is built on Him who is before and above all things–yesterday, today, and forevermore.

man holding sheep statuette

Our very firm foundation may seem invisible to the world, but that doesn’t change its reality or its power. We pray to the ONE who calms storms, who tears down and builds up kingdoms, and who holds all of eternity, including our future, in His hands. Fires, floods, trials, and terrors cannot overwhelm those who put their trust in Jesus. We may still get wet, singed, singled out, persecuted, and knocked down, but we will never be abandoned or defeated, or forsaken. Even if it seems like God is holding a knife to our neck– remember how the story ends! There is a lamb who has taken our place. God will not put an end to our hope. Even death cannot separate us from His Love and His Purpose for eternity. It’s all there– in His Excellent Word!

What to Throw Away…

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also

Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)

When my mom died earlier this year, she left a house filled with “stuff.” Mom saved EVERYTHING! She saved old calendars, expired drivers’ licenses, used peanut butter jars, all her children’s baby clothes and shoes, graduation and wedding invitations, Christmas Cards, broken cameras, and so much more. She owned a seven-bedroom farmhouse, but she lived for many years in just a few square feet in four different rooms. She slept on half a twin mattress; the other half was covered with boxes. She ate on just a patch of her kitchen table; the rest was piled over with papers and “stuff.” There was a narrow path through the dining room to the bathroom and bedroom. Mom was a hoarder.

Mom was also stubbornly independent, and refused to get rid of things or have others help her throw things away. It contributed to her falling and breaking her hip, and later falling and breaking her leg. We eventually persuaded her to move to assisted living and later to a small house that she could navigate safely. But she would not sell the old house or let us throw away her “treasures.”

Shortly before she died, Mom gave us permission to begin the difficult task of “going through” her house. She joked that we would all hate her after she died and we had to finish the task. We joked back that we would never be able to finish in our own lifetimes! Mom knew that she should have thrown things away. But she had chosen to live surrounded by the memories of broken toys and yellowed letters of yesterday.

Well, the house is almost empty. We decided to sell it, and had to clean it out so it could be shown. The bulk of the work fell to my brother and his wife. They are retired, and they live closest to the old house. But even so, it has taken months, and tons of sweat, to find the floors and walls and windows that were covered and blocked by “stuff.” There are still a few pieces of furniture and some items in the basement, but hundreds of boxes, bags, crates, and containers had to be taken to my brother’s house, my house, my sister’s house, donation centers, recycling centers, and, sadly, to the dump.

We had very few “things” left from my father. His family had lived through a house fire when he was a young man, and he learned early that even precious things cannot be saved. He tried to throw things out; Mom would “rescue” some from the trash and bring them back in! He saved a few momentos, mostly photos, and when he died, he was no longer there to advise Mom about what must be put in the trash. But even his “stuff” was hidden among worthless old shoes and dishes and old boxes.

My Mom DID have several treasures– at least to us. She had saved school papers from our childhood, birth and baptism certificates, photos, my dad’s old work uniform, my grandfather’s Navy cap, afghans and doilies my grandmother made, and several worn and tattered Bibles she had so faithfully studied over the years. And Mom was generous in her own way– she sent out thousands of greeting cards and gave wonderful and thoughtful gifts to her many friends and family members. But she kept broken things, rusty and dusty things, used-up things, and things that were useless. And the hardest part of sorting through over 20,000 square feet of “stuff” was finding and determining what to keep and what to throw away.

Life is a lot like that house full of “stuff. It is full of memories, experiences, hopes, dreams, guilt, fears, relationships, emotions, and disappointments. And we have to make choices about what to treasure and what to throw away. Here are some guidelines I’ve learned through my recent experience:

  • Treasure the lesson– throw away the bitterness.
  • Keep the memories– throw away the t-shirt.
  • Save the relationship– throw away the anger.
  • Keep the recipe– throw away the container/magazine it came with.
  • Eat the chocolate–but throw away the fancy box it came in.
  • Throw away the broken dishes, the worn towels, and the pot without a handle.
  • Treasure the stories– trash the dusty, musty books (Yes, that’s coming from a librarian!)
  • Don’t just worth on appearance alone–DON’T throw away an opportunity to show kindness where it is least expected and most needed. There may be treasure among the rubbish!
  • Use the stationery you got for Christmas–throw away the wrapping paper.
  • Throw away last year’s calendar– those days are gone. Make space for this year.
  • Keep your promises–let go of your disappointments.
  • Hold your dreams loosely– be ready to accept what IS as a gift; what WILL BE as a mystery.
  • Treasure the empty spaces in your house and in your life– throw away the extra baggage.
  • Keep space for new blessings–pass the old blessings on to others.
  • Things can never take the place of time spent with the people you love. I appreciate some of the things Mom left behind, but the real treasure was the wisdom she imparted, the laughter and tears we shared over the years, and the faith she lived out as she loved others.

Mom’s joke about us hating her after she was gone– that didn’t happen. And our joking prediction was wrong, too. It was frustrating to go through everything; it was hard work and it might not have been necessary if Mom had chosen differently. But it wasn’t wasted work. We still have dozens of boxes to sort through, but I am finding small miracles and memories (and lessons!) in each one. Mom may not have been able to judge what she should throw away, but she did know what to keep above all!

I hope I am learning what to throw away, as well as what to give away and what to keep. Mostly, I hope I am learning to let go of the things that might prevent me from accepting better things. God will not always take away the things that hold us back, or bury us in the past. But He asks us to store up our treasure, not in a house or a storage barn, or a safe deposit box, but with Him! Things will break, rust, rot, and be lost. Feelings and thoughts can keep us trapped in the past, and blind to the present and future. But God’s gifts– Faith, Hope, Love, Peace, Patience, Discipline, Forgiveness–these last forever, and never lose their value!

Stop, Drop, and Pray!

Does it ever feel like you spend your days “putting out fires?” Taking care of little problems before they become bigger problems? Never getting a chance to rest or relax before the next crisis hits? Trying to put out a fire that keeps getting out of hand?

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Fires can become very dangerous very quickly. Experts advise that we shouldn’t try to stay and fight a fire for which we are not equipped–it puts you and others at far greater risk. There is a simple phrase that can help people survive and escape a house or building fire: Stop. Drop. And Roll. A similar phrase can be helpful in facing the spiritual and emotional “fires” we face: Stop. Drop. And Pray!

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  • Stop! Often when we face trials, our first reaction is to rush in and try to “save” things– ourselves, our loved ones, our possessions, our pride…the list goes on. This is a natural reaction, but not always the wisest course. In the initial panic, we are likely to make poor judgments, and miss warning signs. With the best of intentions, we can make situations worse: maybe we don’t have the skills, the equipment, the authority, or the knowledge to offer salvation or safety. That doesn’t mean that we must walk away from danger, or fail to offer help when we are able to do so. But it means that we must remember that Salvation and Wisdom come from God.
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  • Drop. Fire is an obvious danger, but smoke is a silent killer. We can see fire; we can feel the heat of it. But the smoke can immobilize us long before the flames reach us. Spiritually, we may be able to see obvious sins in others, but ignore the smoke of compromise and apathy in the air all around us. Smoke rises– just like pride, and arrogance, and denial. We need to be “on our knees” –lowly and humble– if we want to keep from getting choked and suffocated.
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  • Pray! Pray with a heart to listen for good advice and obey. Sometimes, we need to stay still and wait; sometimes we need to flee! Sometimes we need to get involved; sometimes we need to walk away. We don’t need to know the next seven or eight steps, however. We need to do the next right thing– even if it seems insignificant in the face of the threat. What we can see is not always where the danger is greatest, nor where the help is most available.
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  • Finally– Don’t wait until you are in danger to practice these steps or prepare for what may lie ahead. There is a popular but unbiblical phrase: “God helps those who help themselves.” But this is NOT what God says! God says that He will help those who humble themselves (Luke 14:11; James 4:10); those who seek Him (Psalm24:6; Amos 5:4); and those who believe (Mark 9:23; John 20:29).

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