Tag: friends

The Weight of Prayer

Have you ever carried a burden that just got heavier each minute? Some pressing need, or a load of guilt and shame, or an unresolved issue that has been hanging over you for years with no relief. Sometimes, prayer is very heavy. It is a sacrifice, and a burden to keep praying for an unsaved loved one, or to fully confess the shame you have carried for years. Your needs (or the needs of loved ones) can push down on your spirit and make it difficult to even want to pray. Pain, grief, or persecution can cause you to shrivel up inside and even though you want to pray, you just can’t seem to find the words.

But oh! The relief of carrying our burdens to the throne of Grace! God may not give us immediate relief from the burdens of pain and suffering, but He will come alongside and shoulder a God-sized portion of our load. He has promised this. Jesus Himself said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)

Not only will God come alongside us as a result of prayer, His Spirit will help us in our weakness and inability to express our deepest emotions. “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” (Romans 8: 26-7 ESV)

I have found this to be true through experience. And I have also found great relief when I can share my burdens with other Christians and know that they are praying for me and for my loved ones. One of the greatest burdens we can bear is that of isolation and hopelessness. Finding a trusted group of fellow believers can ease the pain of bearing such burdens alone. Often, Christian friends can offer limited practical help for immediate needs or provide counseling and wisdom in our next steps. Two words of warning– no group of friends, even Christian friends, can substitute for God. Friendship should not substitute for prayer and Godly wisdom. And true friends will always point you to God rather than trying to fix everything in their own power and time frame. A true friend will not only share the “weight” of your burden, but also the “wait” for God’s answer! Secondly, “sharing” is not the same as rehearsing the same guilty secrets over and over for attention, shock value, or entertainment. It is not gossiping about the same horrible boss or nosy neighbor you can’t seem to forgive or lamenting over all the things you might have done differently as a parent (or spouse or co-worker) last week.

Prayer is deep. It is heavy. And it is powerful. But it can also be freeing, removing the burden of worry, shame, guilt, and isolation. We may enter prayer with groaning and exit with praise! God inhabits our prayers! He is with us in the groaning and in the struggle. He sends us friends and “angels unaware.” And He remains with us in victorious celebration. He provides comfort, strength, and peace as we lay our burdens down. He provides companionship, help, and hope as He shares the weight of whatever we bring to Him.

Don’t “wait” to share your burdens. Let God do the heavy lifting!

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The Silence of God

I am just finishing the book of Job in my daily Bible studies. Job is an interesting book. It begins with a discussion between God and Satan, in which God seems to “set up” Job. God points out Job and his righteous life. Satan (The Accuser) fires back that Job is only enjoying God’s favor; that, given hardship and pain, Job will turn his back on God and embrace evil. God allows Satan to ruin Job’s life– taking away his property, his status, and even all his children. (Ironically, Satan doesn’t cause any harm to Job’s wife, who acts as “devil’s advocate” later, telling her husband to “Curse God and die!”)

Job passes the first test. Satan asks for a “second chance,” saying that Job is still enjoying God’s physical protection. So God allows Satan to cause a painful, wasting disease to attack Job.

But the narrative shifts dramatically at this point. The next several chapters focus on Job’s confusion; his suffering; his bitter quest for answers to the age-old question– Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people? Job’s friends, who start out sharing his sorrow, end up being of very little help and no comfort at all. They insist that God wouldn’t– couldn’t– allow bad things to happen to an innocent man. Therefore, they conclude that Job “deserves” his pain and misfortune. Job insists that God is Righteous, but he wants God to answer his questions– WHY? WHY ME? WHY THIS? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?

And God is silent. Through several rounds of discussion and argument, God is nowhere to be found or heard. Job’s complaints and questions anger his friends, but God remains silent and seemingly unmoved. The central question is not so much about God’s righteousness, but about His Goodness. Is God Good? Can a loving God allow people to suffer– especially if it is unjust– and still be called “Good”?

Reading through the book of Job, we are aroused to the same kind of anger that Job expresses. There are times when I have questions; times when I am suffering; times when I just don’t understand– “What have I done to deserve this?”

And yet.

The Bible is full of “and yet” moments. God finally speaks, but He never answers Job’s questions directly. Job did nothing to “deserve” his suffering. And yet, God allows him to be tested, tormented, and stretched to his breaking point. Not because Job has done something wrong, but because he has been faithful! God never answers Job’s complaints– and yet, God does not leave Job without any answer. In fact, God restores Job’s fortunes and gives him more children, so that his final condition is even better than before! God justifies Job in front of his friends, restoring his status, as well. Job complains about not having a mediator to defend him before the Almighty. And yet, Job trusts that such a mediator– such a redeemer– exists. He cannot see Jesus– and yet He puts his faith in the promise of His coming!

The book of Job ends with Job praising God–BEFORE his restoration– acknowledging that God is not just Good, but that He is Great! He is Great beyond our understanding. He is Holy, and His ways are higher and greater than our ways. Job’s suffering, while painful and undeserved, allowed him to understand God in a new and deeply personal way. God allowed Job to be crushed but not destroyed; tested, but not terminated. God was silent, but never absent.

In fact, the one character who is conspicuously absent at the end of the story is Satan! He has “lost” his challenge to make Job repudiate his right living and his love of God. He has been given two chances to strike at the authority and character of God– and he has left the battlefield in contempt and defeat. He has caused Job pain and suffering, but he has not caused Job to quit.

Job’s questions throughout the book which bears his name are really prayers. He is talking about God, and talking TO God, even as he addresses his friends. He is bitter and angry and confused– AND YET– he prays!

May that be said of me today, as I face questions, trials, and suffering. I can “Take it to the Lord in Prayer.” Not just when things are going well, and I am praising God, but when life seems bitter and I am questioning God’s justice. He IS Sovereign. He IS Good. He IS listening. He DOES Love me.

I Know That God Lives

13-20 “God alienated my family from me;
    everyone who knows me avoids me.
My relatives and friends have all left;
    houseguests forget I ever existed.
The servant girls treat me like a deadbeat off the street,
    look at me like they’ve never seen me before.
I call my attendant and he ignores me,
    ignores me even though I plead with him.
My wife can’t stand to be around me anymore.
    I’m repulsive to my family.
Even street urchins despise me;
    when I come out, they taunt and jeer.
Everyone I’ve ever been close to abhors me;
    my dearest loved ones reject me.
I’m nothing but a bag of bones;
    my life hangs by a thread.
21-22 “Oh, friends, dear friends, take pity on me.
    God has come down hard on me!
Do you have to be hard on me, too?
    Don’t you ever tire of abusing me?
23-27 “If only my words were written in a book—
    better yet, chiseled in stone!
Still, I know that God lives—the One who gives me back my life—
    and eventually he’ll take his stand on earth.
And I’ll see him—even though I get skinned alive!—
    see God myself, with my very own eyes.
    Oh, how I long for that day! (Job 19:13-27 The Message)

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What If HE’D Never Been Born?

One of my favorite Christmas movies has always been “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The movie tells the story of a man who finds himself desperate, sad, frustrated, angry, and suicidal on Christmas Eve –sounds like a real winner, huh? But before he gets to that point, Heaven is preparing an angel to come to his rescue. Through the eyes of the angel, the viewer “gets to know” George Bailey– his family, his friends, his struggles and his joys–and gets to see his life in perspective. The angel, Clarence, decides to give George an unusual gift– the chance to see what the world would be like, not just if he were to commit suicide, but what it would be like if he, George Bailey, had never existed. George is astounded and horrified to see the effects of his absence, and he learns to value his life, his family, and his friends as never before.

The dramatic effect of one person’s life cannot be overstated, but this is especially true of the life of Christ! Can we dare to imagine what life would be like today if Jesus had never been born?

Of course, the most obvious and tragic consequence is that there would be no Salvation by Grace. For a more complete discussion on this, there are several other essays and even books, including “What if Jesus Had Never Been Born” by D. James Kennedy and Jerry Newcombe. (Full disclosure: I have not read this book– I just found out about it as I was writing this, but I trust it is a good resource.) And all speculation on this subject is just that– the Bible is clear that it was always God’s plan for Jesus to come, to live, to die, and to defeat death, just as He did, just when He did. Any alternative vision is not from God, but from our own imaginations. But what other “ripples” do we take for granted in our world, that would not have happened (or would have happened very differently) if Jesus had never been born, or had not completed the work of His life, death, and resurrection?

  • There would be no Christmas. Not just the Christian celebration of Christmas, but much of what we call “secular” Christmas. While some cultures might have a local festival for winter solstice, there would be no worldwide celebration such as we know.
  • There would be no “Santa Claus,” no “St. Nick,” no “Father Christmas,” no “Papa Noel”, etc. The model for our modern Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, wouldn’t have been a Christian Bishop in Asia Minor, because there would have been no Christians there, or anywhere else.
  • No Christmas Cartoons– no story about Rudoph the Red-Nosed Reindeer; no singing elves and jolly Mrs. Santa Claus; no Heat Miser and Snow Miser (if you know some of the other Rankin-Bass productions..) Hours of childhood memories erased.
  • No other Christmas stories and movies– no Scrooge and Marley; no MIracle on 34th Street; no “Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus”; no “Santa Clause” (and its successors) no “Christmas Story” or “Christmas Vacation”; not even Hans Gruber falling from the Nakatomi Tower. Millions of DVDs, books, VHS tapes, local theater productions– never existed.
  • We can kiss Frosty the Snowman goodbye, as well. Without the magical snowfall of Christmas, the story never takes shape– literally.
  • No Christmas Carols or Christmas music. I know of at least three local radio stations that are playing Christmas music exclusively right now. They started the day after Thanksgiving, and they will continue through the end of the month. Thousands of Christmas songs– from favorites like “O, Come All Ye Faithful,” and “O, Holy Night,” to annual disasters, like “Last Christmas,” and “Santa, Baby”– all wiped out.
  • No Christmas cards. Millions of cards are sent out each year, connecting family and friends around the world. Except there wouldn’t be any if Christ had never been born.
  • No Christmas Lights.
  • No Christmas shopping. (And while that may seem like a good thing for my personal budget, have you ever looked at what the Christmas season means for most Western economies?) No Christmas wrapping; no Christmas ornaments; no Christmas sweaters or socks; no Christmas candy or cookies…
  • No Salvation Army bell ringers at the stores– no Salvation Army; no reason to ring bells…
  • No Christian charities– not just the Salvation Army, but every other charity that was founded on Christian principles, or for Christian outreach…no downtown rescue missions, no soup kitchens, no international Christian efforts to rescue hurting children or provide relief for families. I by no means want to suggest that ONLY Christians are charitable, or that NO charities would exist without Christ. Charities are a mainstay of most religions, and always have been. The distinction I would make is that more Christian charities have been developed and have thrived in the last 2,000 years, than charities started by other religious and secular organizations, and there is evidence that they do more efficient and more broad-based work than their counterparts. https://www.christianpost.com/news/christian-charities-more-reliable-than-others-according-to-forbes.html
  • No Christian colleges or universities– Are you a fan of Notre Dame Football? Sorry. Notre Dame doesn’t exist. Neither do Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Cambridge, Oxford, Saint Andrews, Georgetown, and several other colleges and universities throughout Europe, North America, and elsewhere. Even universities that are completely secular today were once founded on the idea that education was a Christian virtue. This doesn’t mean that there would be no places of higher learning– there would just be far fewer than we know today.
  • No “Christian” books– and this includes books that introduce Christian concepts, allegories, and allusions. No “Pilgrim’s Progress,” no “Jane Eyre.” no “Lord of the Rings…”
  • No Churches– no cathedrals, no picturesque country chapels, no strip mall fellowships, no megachurches…
  • None of the Christian Memes; Promises; favorite verses… no Beatitudes; no Fruit of the Spirit; no “Golden Rule,” no Romans 8:28 or John 3:16 or Philippians 4:13…
  • No Twenty-First Century! Our calendar is literally based in part on the assumed birth of Christ. And while there are other calendars– Chinese, Aztec, Hebrew, etc., that are numbered differently, most of the world uses the Roman/Julian/Gregorian Calendar, which splits time into B. C. or B.C.E. — literally “Before Christ” or “Before the Christian Era”, and A.D. (Anno Domini– year of our Lord!) or C.E. “Christian Era.”

It paints a pretty bleak picture. Our world, as we know it, would be vastly different if Christ had never been born. That is not to say that the innovations, inventions, or achievements of the past centuries might NOT have happened at all– but they would have happened without the same purpose and effect. Many of the events of the past two millennia were inspired by, undertaken by, and driven by the message of the Christ– His birth, death, resurrection, and promised return! We hear about some of the negative things of the Church– wars and excesses, scandals and failures. But what about the successes– the transformation of violent cultures and conflicts into peaceful resolution, the drive to end slavery, cure illnesses, eradicate hunger–so many of the blessings we enjoy here on earth are the result of work done by those who long to love their neighbors as themselves and to see God’s will done “on earth as it is in Heaven!” The Joy and Generosity of the Christmas season cannot be separated from its central cause. The Wonder, the sense of the Miraculous and Holy, the sense that there is something “More” beyond a crisp winter morning or a day off work or a genial meal with friends–it all MEANS something. It doesn’t just come from nowhere, or a human desire to be kinder this one day each year. The character of George Bailey exemplifies an ordinary life that has meaning and purpose. His sense of purpose has gotten lost in the crush of bills, obligations, disappointments, and injustices. His prayer is one of quiet desperation; he is completely unaware that it is part of a vast chorus of prayers. But God hears it– and God sends Clarence!

There is a reason that George is visited by an Angel on Christmas Eve. Clarence may not be suave and sophisticated; he may not have intellectual arguments that can help George comprehend all of life’s wonder and purpose. But just like the angels at the first Christmas, Clarence comes from Heaven. He is God’s chosen messenger. He brings Heaven’s perspective and truth into a dark world, showing George what IS and HAS BEEN and what CAN BE– all because George was born– because CHRIST was born! It IS a WONDERFUL Life– not because of our circumstances, but because God’s Greatest Gift redefines our circumstances and transforms our perspective!

4-7 But when the time arrived that was set by God the Father, God sent his Son, born among us of a woman, born under the conditions of the law so that he might redeem those of us who have been kidnapped by the law. Thus we have been set free to experience our rightful heritage. You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, “Papa! Father!” Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you’re also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.

Galatians 4:4-7 (The Message)

George emerges from his nightmare experience to find he is, in fact, “the richest man in town.” Oh, that we would wake up this Christmas morning fully aware of the rich heritage that is ours– because WE were born. Because HE was born! Because we can be BORN AGAIN!

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He Knows MY Name

My first name, Lila, is not unique, but it is uncommon. Last week, when my husband and I got away for a few days for our anniversary, we visited a gift shop. I was excited to see a magnet with my name on it, so I bought it (though we don’t need any more kitchen magnets, and it was more than I would normally spend on such a trinket). My husband, David, on the other hand, has the opposite experience. He can be in a room with 20 people, and if someone calls out, “Hey, Dave,” sometimes three people will answer! He can find trinkets that say, “David,” “Dave,” and “Davey” almost anywhere.

Names can be funny that way. Almost everyone knows how to pronounce my husband’s name. And spell it. It’s a good name, a strong name– that’s one reason it’s so popular. My name is shorter by one letter, but almost no one spells it correctly– I’ve seen it spelled Lyla, Lilah, Laila, Leila, and Lily; and I’ve heard it pronounced Lee-la, Lay-la, Lill-a, as well as just misread completely as Lisa, Lilian, Lina, Lenore, Delilah, Lora, Mila…

Both David and I were named after other members of our families, and we have nieces, nephews, and cousins named David or Lila, as well. Our names have personal and family importance beyond just the normal meanings. Still, somewhere in the world, there are dozens of people who bear the same name (first, middle, and last) as my husband, while there may be one other who bears my same name.

God knows my name. He never misspells it, never mangles the pronunciation or gets me confused with someone else. And he knows “my” David, and never gets him confused with someone else or lumps him in with a group of other “Davids”. God knows why David and I were named as we were, and He knew the family members after whom we were named. He knows the names of our yet-unborn great-great-great grandchildren!

Jesus had twelve disciples. The Bible records that two of them were named James, two were named Simon, and two others were possibly named Judas. Jesus gave one of the “Simons” the new name of Peter’ the other was also known as “Simon the Zealot”. The two James were distinguished as “the elder” and “the younger” or “James the brother of John, and son of Zebedee” and “James the son of Alpheus.” Judas Iscariot was the disciple who betrayed Jesus to the authorities; there was another disciple, who went by the name Jude, or Thaddeus, or Judas the brother of James. Historians know little about “the other Judas”, and even the authors of the Gospels give different lists of names for the twelve disciples, given that some of them went by more than one name. However, Jesus knew each one from before they were even born.

Of course, God knows far more than just our names. He knows our every thought– before we even think it! God “gets” us–for better or worse. He knows our quirks and our capabilities. He knows our deepest shame, and our deepest fear; our greatest accomplishment and our most secret desire. Even more, God knows our future; He knows all that we could be and all that we will become (or fail to become). He knows “what might have been” if we had been born in a different time or place. He knows exactly how our decisions have affected us for good or ill, and how others’ actions have impacted our character.

There are nearly 8 billion people alive on this planet at the current time (7.9 billion estimated as of September 2021). God knows the name and dreams and histories of each and every one! And when we pray, we are not praying to someone whose knowledge of us is limited or determined by our relation to someone He knows “better.” Imagine God having 8 billion kitchen magnets with names on each one–even if there were 100,000,000 of them with the name “David,” God would know exactly which one belonged to “my” David. And God would not confuse mine with any of the millions of similar magnets saying Lily, Lisa, Lylah, Lola, Laura, or even “Lila.”

What an amazing God! What a privilege to call on HIS Name, knowing that He knows us so intimately and loves us so thoroughly!

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A Prayer for the “Slurpee” Babies

(In honor of my grand-niece’s 16th birthday, I am re-posting this entry from last year. I have changed her name to honor her privacy, and I have updated her age in the text,)

Yesterday was July 11. In certain parts of America, it is known as “Slurpee” Day. “Slurpee” is a brand name for a slushy drink sold at 7-Eleven convenience stores around the country. And since we write our dates with the month, followed by the day, July 11th is also “7/11.” Many 7-Eleven stores offer specials on their “Slurpee” drinks all day. And on a hot July day, that’s a great deal!

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

But July 11th is also the birthday of a very special person in my life. I can still remember the day she was born, and seeing her for the first time. She was beautiful (and still is). She had a full head of thick auburn hair, and seemed delighted to be alive and in the world– and we were all delighted to greet her! I remember commenting that she was a “Slurpee” baby– being born on “Slurpee” day. But shortly after she was born, it became clear that all was not “right” for “Chelsea” (not her real name). Chelsea did not respond to sights and sounds like other babies. And she started having violent seizures. Doctors soon determined that Chelsea had experienced several small strokes when she was in the womb. They also determined that such strokes would continue, and her chances of survival were slim. Immediate brain surgery would be necessary. At one point, the prognosis was very grim– even with surgery, she might be blind, deaf, and unable to control the movement in her limbs–essentially, she would be a vegetable if she survived at all. The first year of her life was a roller-coaster of surgeries and hospital stays, followed by extensive therapy and treatment that continues to this day. But she survived!

Photo by Laura Garcia on Pexels.com

So every July 11, Chelsea, and her friends and family, celebrate, not just her birthday, but her life— her survival, her triumph, and her continuing struggle. Chelsea is 16 this year! She cannot walk on her own, and she has trouble talking and using one arm. But she excels at school–she loves reading and music (Yes, she can see and hear!) and she loves anything having to do with animals, especially dogs and horses! She loves jokes and riddles, and loves to listen to her Daddy play the guitar, or watch the dog play in the yard, or spend time with horses at the therapy riding center. She even loves cool treats– not necessarily “Slurpees,” but sweet drinks and yogurt parfaits! Her life is not easy. Her parents still have to help her dress and eat, even though she is almost fully grown. She has to use adaptive technology to write and do her schoolwork (and what an incredible blessing that it exists!) She spends most of her days in a motorized chair. And, like most teenagers, she has “moody” days and gets frustrated–her physical limitations add to that frustration. But she loves life, and she inspires those around her to embrace the positive. She is as welcome as an ice-cold Slurpee on a hot July day– sweet, refreshing, and colorful!

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I am writing about “Chelsea” today, because I love her– she is my grand-niece, and my favorite “Slurpee” kid! But I’m also writing because there are many other “Slurpee” children like her who are not alive today, or who are made to feel unwanted and “less than” other children. Chelsea’s health issues were not detected until after she was born. Had they “discovered” the damage she sustained in the womb, chances are very great that her mother would have been encouraged or even pressured to have an abortion. The early prognosis was so horrific, and the struggle so difficult, that it would have been seen as the “most humane” option. Her “quality of life” would have been weighed in the balance, and her right to experience life– even at it’s most difficult moments– would have been invalidated by those who claimed to “have her best interests at heart.” Her parents could have made the choice to put her in an institution, or give up on her chances to live a purposeful and fulfilling life. Instead, they made numerous personal sacrifices, and have advocated for Chelsea’s well-being. And, if you ask them, it was worth it all!

I’m not here to judge those parents who have had to face this horrible choice, or those who have determined that they could not provide the care needed to raise a child with “special needs.” The needs are very real, very difficult, very expensive, and sometimes heart-rending. Most people I know have never had to face such challenges. And even my nephew and his wife were not called on to decide on Chelsea’s fate until after they had grown to love her for the baby she was. And there are days when they feel overwhelmed by the responsibility to care for a child beyond what they had ever planned. But I have also known Chelsea, and other wonderful children with extreme needs, who make the world a better, richer, more empathetic, and more joyful place– not because they are “special needs”, but because they are uniquely SPECIAL individuals! I also know of parents who have opened their homes and arms to foster and adopt children with special needs. Their courage, love, and sacrifice have made it possible for thousands of lives to reach their incredible potential.

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God made each one of us to reflect His image in our own, unique way. And each individual has the power to shape the world around them for the better. My prayer today is that Chelsea, and all children who are marginalized because their lives are somehow deemed “less” than someone else’s, will find strength, hope, laughter, and respect. And that those of us who have had a “normal” childhood and family experience would embrace the joy that comes from LIFE itself, and praise the one who gives it– precious, abundant, joyful, and eternal life!

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“I’m Praying For You!”

Each month, I want to give some practical suggestions on ways we can better pursue a lifestyle of prayer.

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This month, I want to encourage you to let people know you are praying for them. This seems like such a simple thing, and not necessarily a way to improve one’s prayer life. After all, didn’t Jesus teach us not to brag about our praying? Aren’t we supposed to pray in private, not calling attention to ourselves? (See Matthew 6:1-15)

There are four “do’s” and a couple of “don’t’s” when it comes to telling others about praying that I want to emphasize today. Not because I have a perfect formula, but these are things I have found true in my own experience, and I think they line up with Biblical principles:

DO:

  • When you hear a need, pray about it. Don’t put it off; don’t promise to pray at a more convenient time. Do it now. If that means stopping in the middle of a conversation and praying with someone who is pouring out their heart– do it (assuming that it is possible). Not only is this practicing obedience to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, but it is honoring the importance and value of the other person. (see Philippians 4:6; Romans 12:12; Ephesians 6:18; others…) Showing others that their needs are important and that God cares about their needs is NOT boasting or being hypocritical. Just remember to approach with humility. Don’t be offended if they refuse in the moment; don’t use the opportunity to pray “over them”– pray beside them; pray with them; pray for their needs, not your own virtue-signaling. If you are worried about your actions being misconstrued or offensive in some way, ask first. “May I pray for you right now?” “Would you mind if we just stopped and said a quick prayer about this situation?” They can always refuse to let you pray immediately, but at least they will know you sincerely want to bring their burden before God. Also, if there is practical help you can give in the moments following, don’t hold back. Maybe their need is beyond your ability, but if you can direct them to counseling, aid from a local church group or non-profit, or offer to follow-up, you should do what you honestly can. Don’t promise beyond your ability, but don’t just pray and walk away, either.
  • The same goes for on-line requests for prayer. Don’t just scroll past someone’s need. It takes three seconds or less to type, “Praying”, or “I’m praying for you.” Again, if there is practical help you can offer, this is an opportunity to do so. There is no need to go overboard– but letting others know that someone “out there” is praying can be an enormous encouragement.
  • Be specific. Generic prayers aren’t “bad,” but they are often hasty and leave something lacking. The same goes for practical help. One of the mistakes I often make is to say, “If there’s anything I can do, give me a call.” I mean it– I want to help, and don’t know just how. But this puts the burden of asking on the person you meant to help! If you don’t know what to do– say so– but give them something solid to go on. It may be a phone number or e-mail, or an idea of a service you are able to offer–“I have Wednesday afternoons off if you need someone to drive you/go with you to an appointment.” or “If you ever want to meet for coffee…” or “I know the church has a Benevolence fund for unexpected bills and expenses. I could contact someone or give you their contact information,” etc..
  • Follow through! If someone asks for prayer for an ongoing concern, make a point of checking in every so often. Call, send a note or text, stop them at church and let them know you are still thinking of them and praying for them. This can also be another opportunity to offer practical help, a hug, or other form of encouragement. Often a week or two can be time enough to reveal practical steps to meet some of the smaller needs related to a big crisis or situation.

DON’T:

  • Say you will pray and then forget to do it. I used to be bad about this on-line. It only takes three seconds to promise to pray or to type a message about prayer, but don’t say it/send it if you aren’t going to act on it. Either stop then and there to pray about it, or stop and write it down where you will see it later and act on it! Good intentions are NOT enough to bring real encouragement and change. And good intentions do not form a disciplined and growing pursuit of prayerful living. In fact, such lost opportunities can become a barrier to our prayer life AND our relationships with others.
  • Break confidences. If someone asks publicly for prayer, it is fine to respond publicly that you will pray or are praying. It is NOT fine to then share someone else’s burden with ten of your other neighbors or closest friends. It is not fine to repost someone else’s request without their permission. It is not fine to publicize others’ private burdens, confessions, or pain. You may want to ask others to join in prayer, but don’t share details and names. Even if you have permission to share a prayer request, it is not for you to pour out someone else’s feelings, relationships, or struggles. This is another area in which I’ve had to learn a lot. I tend to over-share my own struggles when asking for prayer, and I want others to be concerned, so they will pray also. But it is very easy to fall into gossip, oversharing, and speculation, which has no place in prayer– and no place in my relationships! Share only those specifics that are helpful– “S______ is battling cancer. She has an appointment with her oncologist this week and would like prayer.” It is tempting to give the time and date of the appointment– and S______ may be ok with you doing this so people can be praying “in the moment.” However, she may be concerned about too many people knowing when she will or won’t be home, which might tempt a burglar. She may not want to receive a host of phone calls later that afternoon from people wanting “updates” or wanting to “cheer her up” when she is exhausted. Respect others’ privacy.

We are commanded to pray for one another (see Galatians 6:2; Colossians 4:2, etc.) And prayer is the most powerful tool we have to help those around us. Even though I recommend “practical” help along with prayer, I do not mean to say that prayer is impractical. Prayer IS practical and powerful. It should never be dismissed as “lesser than” other forms of help. But neither should it be used as an excuse not to meet needs in others ways as God gives us resources.

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Making a habit of praying for others– really responding to needs immediately and faithfully in prayer– is a great way to experience its power. We will see God working through the prayers we offer– not just in the way He answers in the lives of others, but in the way He will change our hearts and minds about situations, relationships, and in growing Faith and confidence. It will train you to listen for needs, and to prepare to help. It will also train you to see needs in your own life, and make it easier to trust God with the needs in your life. You will find it easier to share your needs with others, and to accept help when you experience how much your efforts (even small ones) can encourage others. It may even encourage you to begin networking with others to meet needs and be proactive, instead of just reacting to needs after they are felt! If you are already strong in this area, be grateful for the way God is using you in the lives of others. If you are struggling in this area, I hope you will persevere. God is gracious in giving us opportunities to grow and serve!

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Lord, I’m Tired

This past month has been tiring for me. I’ve been clearing out two “estates.” My mother died at the end of last month. She was a hoarder– she saved everything, and it was kept in piles and drawers and closets. My brother, sister, and I (and our families) must sort through all the “junk” to find things of importance or value, and decide how to share it, dispose of it, or give it away. Old books, old clothes, old papers– some have sentimental or material value. Others have been exposed to mildew or they’ve been torn or damaged or stained. Mom had a big house, and she had lived there for over 60 years, so the piles are tall, deep, and everywhere!

At the same time, we had a loss in my husband’s family that required that we clean out the family homestead. This home had been in the family for over 5 generations, and included a farm and workshop, complete with machinery, vehicles, and furniture that had to be removed in less than 30 days! While not as cluttered with old papers and clothes, this estate included bigger, bulkier items, often covered with grit, grime, oil, and dirt.

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We had to finish up with the old homestead earlier this week. And we are exhausted. I have found it difficult to concentrate on this blog, on Bible study, on personal prayer time, and just getting “normal” things done around the house. I’m sore, I’m trying to fight off an early Spring cold, and I’m mentally and emotionally drained.

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BUT

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God has sent wonderful reminders of His comfort, His strength, His peace, and His care in the past few weeks. My prayers may have been hurried or shortened lately, but I can FEEL the prayers of others on our behalf. As tired as we have been lately, we have also been blessed. Wonderful family (even under difficult and trying circumstances!), kind and helpful friends, unexpected (and much needed) resources–God has not left us to face this season alone.

It is not God’s will or His plan that we should exhaust ourselves. That doesn’t mean that He won’t allow us to travel through periods of stress, work, grief, pain, or even temporary exhaustion. Jesus himself stayed in the wilderness for 40 days without food. He was exhausted and hungry when Satan tried to tempt Him to turn His back on the Father. Satan’s temptations are no different today. He tempts us with empty promises of ease and rest– IF we depend on someone or something other than God! He tempts us with the idea of fame and fortune– IF we abandon God’s provision and His purposes. He tempts us with immediate solutions–IF we stop waiting on the Lord to come to our rescue.

The Test

4 1-3 Next Jesus was taken into the wild by the Spirit for the Test. The Devil was ready to give it. Jesus prepared for the Test by fasting forty days and forty nights. That left him, of course, in a state of extreme hunger, which the Devil took advantage of in the first test: “Since you are God’s Son, speak the word that will turn these stones into loaves of bread.”

4 Jesus answered by quoting Deuteronomy: “It takes more than bread to stay alive. It takes a steady stream of words from God’s mouth.”

5-6 For the second test the Devil took him to the Holy City. He sat him on top of the Temple and said, “Since you are God’s Son, jump.” The Devil goaded him by quoting Psalm 91: “He has placed you in the care of angels. They will catch you so that you won’t so much as stub your toe on a stone.”

7 Jesus countered with another citation from Deuteronomy: “Don’t you dare test the Lord your God.”

8-9 For the third test, the Devil took him to the peak of a huge mountain. He gestured expansively, pointing out all the earth’s kingdoms, how glorious they all were. Then he said, “They’re yours—lock, stock, and barrel. Just go down on your knees and worship me, and they’re yours.”

10 Jesus’ refusal was curt: “Beat it, Satan!” He backed his rebuke with a third quotation from Deuteronomy: “Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness.”

11 The Test was over. The Devil left. And in his place, angels! Angels came and took care of Jesus’ needs.

Matthew 4:1-11 (The Message)

I’m tired today. But God knows better than I do how to give me rest, how to “recharge my batteries,” and how to guide me through the days ahead. I don’t think God is “testing” me in the same way He allowed Jesus to be tested. But I think He has allowed me to experience a season that is testing me. Will I keep looking for Jesus in my weariness and grief? Will I be tempted to find my rest in someone or something other than Him? Will I recognize the resources and help He sends during this time? One of the things He has provided is this blog– a chance for me to stop, reflect on, and write about what’s going on. I’m tired, but I’m also being held in God’s Almighty and capable hands. God has provided helpers, counselors, friends, and family to lean on, and who can lean on me in turn. God has laid out His promises for a bright future and eternal Joy, Peace, and Rest. God has given me a moment to reflect on His Goodness! Now, back to work for today!

AMEN!

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When I Can’t Do “All Things…”

10-14 I’m glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you’re again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don’t mean that your help didn’t mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

Philippians 4:10-14 (The Message)

I know many Christians who quote Philippians 4:13–generally in the King James or New King James versions: “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens (strengtheneth) me.” It is a powerful verse, but taken out of context, it can become twisted and lead to unrealistic expectations. In context, Paul is not talking about achievement, but about endurance. “I can endure all things…” or “I can cope with all circumstances…” is a better understanding, which is why I chose to quote from The Message, instead of another translation. Many times, however, we co-opt this familiar verse to fill our calendar with busy plans for our own achievements, trusting in God to give us the strength to multi-task our way past exhaustion. We end up frustrated, disappointed, and even questioning our faith.

God never meant for any of us to do “all things..” In fact, He wants us to trust Him to direct our paths– even when He directs us away from achievement and into rest or even need. Paul was a doer. He loved to be on the road, preaching and teaching, building up churches, and making new converts. But the letter to the Philippian believers was written from a jail cell. Paul could not be there to minister to them, but they had ministered to him, instead! Paul was thanking his friends for the help they gave him, not because he was abandoned or starving, but because their gifts reminded him of their care for him, and of God’s care for all of us. God had given Paul a season of rest from the road– imposed rest, but rest that gave him time to reflect on God’s goodness in solitude.

When we set ourselves up to “do all things,” it usually means “all the things I think I can or ought to do,” or “all the things I am asked or expected to do as a volunteer or a friend or neighbor or parent…” God is more concerned with our “being” than our “doing.” He wants us to be seeking after righteousness, not self-righteousness. He wants us to be growing in our love for others– even if we can’t “do it all.” He wants us to follow Him, not impress Him!

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I’m in a season of “can’t” right now. It’s not that I can’t do anything, but I can’t do “all things.” That’s not a result of my lacking faith or having a wrong view of God– God CAN do anything and “everything.” But I can’t. And God’s plan isn’t to empower me to be autonomous, self-sustaining, or self-righteous. I NEED others! And I NEED Him! What I CAN do, is trust in His timing and His resources to be sufficient for my daily needs. I can get “enough” done today, with God’s wisdom and strength. I can do “enough” to overcome anxiety or depression– with the help that God provides. That may mean allowing someone else to do simple tasks that I can’t do today. It may mean accepting medical help. It may mean changing my schedule or my expectations for today. But I can endure all the setbacks, and the moments of grief or weakness that keep me from “doing” what I had planned. I can weather it all in the power of Christ. And so can you! If you are finding yourself in a season of “can’t,” don’t skim over Philippians 4– study it. Claim it! Christ’s power isn’t for those who “can.” It’s for those who ask!

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It’s a great thing to have a “can-do” attitude. But sometimes, we need a season of “can’t do” in order to step back and see what we “can BE” in the power of Christ!

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Vending Machine Prayers

As I write this, my mom is dying. We don’t know how much longer she has, but we’ve asked for prayers as she takes this journey toward death and resurrection. These are sometimes difficult prayers to make. We don’t like to see Mom suffering, but we don’t like the thought of separation through death, either. Our initial prayer would be for complete healing. But that’s not realistic, given that Mom has heart failure and is almost 90 years old. That doesn’t mean that God cannot or would not grant total healing. But we aren’t expecting that kind of miracle when we pray today.

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For some people, our prayers seem meaningless. One of my classmates from school reacted to my request for prayer by saying, “I just wish that prayer DID something…” I take this to mean that if we don’t get a miraculous outcome, she believes our prayers are wasted. I hope I’m misinterpreting here, but I know that this is a common criticism of prayer in tough times. It seems that every time there is a natural disaster, or a mass shooting, people who offer “thoughts and prayers” are roundly criticized for praying “instead” of “doing.” As though the two are mutually exclusive. As though prayer is an empty gesture in the face of disaster and distress. As though there is no hope, no comfort, and no help in praying.

There are others who will assert with complete confidence their belief that God will answer any prayer for a miracle, simply because they ask it “in Jesus’ Name” or because many people are praying for the same outcome. I call these kinds of prayers, and attitudes about prayer, “Vending Machine Prayers.” It is the belief that prayer must produce an immediate and positive outcome, or it is “broken” or invalid. If you don’t get what you were expecting, you must have prayed “wrong,” or didn’t have “enough” faith. Or your prayer just didn’t “work.” When someone puts money into a vending machine, and presses a button or punches in a code or pulls a knob, and they don’t get the expected item, some of them will kick the machine, or curse. Or they will try again, carefully trying to get the “right” result. Vending machines are inanimate objects designed to give a satisfactory consumer experience. If the coins or bills “jam,” if the knobs or buttons malfunction, if the product gets “stuck,” or isn’t available, the consumer feels cheated. Sometimes, they can get their money returned, but most often, they go away angry and unfulfilled.

God is not a vending machine. He is not “designed” to serve us or give us satisfaction. There is nothing we can “insert” in our relationship with God –even sincere prayer–that obligates Him to give us what we desire. God chooses to answer prayers in whatever way He knows is best for our eternal and overall well-being. God still gives miracles. I’ve seen it and experienced it. In fact, we could have lost Mom several years ago, when her heart failure put her in a similar state. God provided a miracle in the form of heart valve replacement surgery–and a cancellation that moved her surgery schedule forward before her condition was too far gone. I’ve seen people healed of cancer– and people whose prayers for healing ended in their rapid decline and death. But none of those prayers were wasted. Not one. God was working– sometimes on the sidelines, strengthening family members to deal with grief; sometimes providing testimonies to those with doubts and questions; sometimes planting seeds that would bear fruit years later in the lives of those left behind–sometimes God was working “sideways,” as He did with Mom years ago to give her several more years of life, even though she wasn’t completely healed, to grow and prepare for this next step and testify to God’s sustaining power.

God is not apathetic, and He certainly isn’t “happy” about Mom’s decline and her impending death. He shares our sufferings and our sorrows. But God knows and sees the “rest of the story!” Jesus wept over the death of His friend Lazarus, even though He knew that Lazarus would be raised back to life. Jesus was sharing the deep grief over the loss and sorrow felt by all of His friends, just as He rejoiced with them as Lazarus walked home from the tomb! (See John 11 for the whole story.) God doesn’t delight in death. He is the author of LIFE. But He is very present through every stage of life– even that last bitter taste of death we all must experience. And just as we pray for God’s miraculous presence, we pray for His guiding, comforting, and hopeful presence in ALL situations.

Prayer DOES something! Even if we don’t see immediate changes in situations; prayer changes US. It changes OTHERS. It changes our priorities and perspectives. It draws us close– to each other and to the One whose Love is Eternal and unchanging.

116 I love the Lord, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.

2 Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.

3 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow.

4 Then called I upon the name of the Lord; O Lord, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.

5 Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.

6 The Lord preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

7 Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee.

8 For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.

9 I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.

10 I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted:

11 I said in my haste, All men are liars.

12 What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits toward me?

13 I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the Lord.

14 I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people.

15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

16 O Lord, truly I am thy servant; I am thy servant, and the son of thine handmaid: thou hast loosed my bonds.

17 I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the Lord.

18 I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people.

19 In the courts of the Lord’s house, in the midst of thee, O Jerusalem. Praise ye the Lord.

Psalm 116 KJV (emphasis added)
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There are dozens, if not hundreds, of people praying for my Mom (and all of us who love her so very much). And probably, there are some “vending machine” prayers among them. That’s ok. God hears them all. And I am so very blessed by them all. Because prayers DO SOMETHING AMAZING. They rise to a God who sees, who hears, and who LOVES unconditionally, eternally, and perfectly! We’re actively trying to do what we can do to make Mom comfortable and seeking treatment that will ease her last days, but we depend on God’s touch, His healing, His timing, and His good will to see us all through and keep us in perfect peace.

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Consistent, Fervent Prayer

What does it look like (or feel like) to pursue consistent, fervent prayer? Is it an endless repetition of the same words? Is it mindless pleading, mixed with angst and flowing tears? Is it rehearsing the same requests over and over in an attempt to “get the right words” that will cause God to act?

No. Jesus addressed this very issue in His Sermon on the Mount, and just before He gave us a wonderful example of how we can pray:

7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Matthew 6:7-8 (NIV)
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If God already knows our needs, why SHOULD we practice consistent, fervent prayer in the first place? Because God desires to hear our heart cry. When something touches our heart– even though God already feels our sadness, pain, and fear–God wants to SHARE it in personal and intimate detail. What He does not want is for us to use prayer to try to manipulate a particular outcome, or to push our own desires and agenda ahead of His wisdom and sovereign will.

Instead, we should meet with God as our Father, knowing that He knows us, cares for us, and cares about the things that concern us. Consistent, fervent prayer is simply sharing our concerns with a loving God honestly over time.

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  • Whining and “babbling” shows that we don’t trust God’s wisdom. It’s like a toddler, who keeps saying, “Please….pretty please…pretty please with sugar on top…” “But I want it…I REALLY need it… REALLY…”
  • Saying nothing is no better. It is closing our hearts away from the one who loves us unconditionally. Sometimes, we try to over-spiritualize, saying that because God already knows our needs, we need not mention them again.
  • We need to find a middle ground. We need to be humble enough to say that we need God’s help and His wisdom, and huble enough to accept that His ways and timing are not the same as ours.

So what DOES it look like? Probably a little different for each person, but I think there are some guidelines:

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  • Consistent prayer means that we pray every day, throughout the day. About everything! Not just obsessively about our worries or needs, but about our joys and sorrows, as well as our questions, wonders, adoration, praise and confessions. Much like speaking with our best friends–the best ones are willing to listen to the same story about our cat even if we’ve told it twice before. They will cry with us next week as we share our continuing frustration with a rebellious teen or our parent’s journey with dementia. The difference is that God has a purpose and a plan in sharing our grief and our weakness beyond anything we can imagine. He is the “God of all Comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5) as well as a God of healing.
  • Fervent prayer isn’t just anguished prayer or dramatic, emotional prayer. It is intensely humble and full of faith. The Apostle James gives an excellent example in chapter 5 of his epistle: 17 Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. 18 Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops. (James 5:17-18 NIV) When Elijah faced the pagan prophets of Baal and Asherah, he prayed fervently, but he left the drama to the others. Elijah chided the prophets of Baal, because they prayed with raving, shouting, dancing, and cutting themselves in an effort to get Baal to hear them. Elijah’s prayer, while simple, was answered immediately and with dramatic effect. This wasn’t just a show of God’s awesome power through His chosen prophet. It was also a clear sign that Elijah was in constant communication with the One True God. He didn’t have to “get God’s attention.” He knew God was right there with Him. (See 1 Kings 18 for the whole story.)
  • Consistent, fervent prayer is part of a journey, not a destination. The same Elijah who was able to call down fire from Heaven, ran and hid in a cave and prayed to die! God wants us to pursue prayer the same way we pursue righteousness– knowing that God is the source of our wisdom and strength. He wants our anguished prayers as well as our prayers prayed in absolute trust– He wants them all!
  • I find it helpful in my personal prayer to have a journal. In it, I keep a list of people and places, concerns and requests. Each day of the week, I have a focus point for my prayers, and a list of specific people to lift up, plus a place for immediate and ongoing concerns. This does the following for me:
    • It allows me to put concerns into perspective. On Mondays, I concentrate on family and friends. That doesn’t mean that I don’t pray for my family on other days, but Mondays are focused on family and friends. On Wednesday, I concentrate on praying for my community. On Thursdays, I pray for global issues. This doesn’t preclude urgent requests or needs, but it keeps me from obsessing about some concerns at the expense of others. And it reminds me that God is the God of my family, AND my community, AND those suffering from a recent earthquake or famine.
    • A Prayer Journal gives me a place to write out my requests. Sometimes, seeing it in writing reminds me that God already knows– my concerns are written on His heart! No need to use the same words over and over again–but God may want to hear how MY heart has changed since I wrote the request. Maybe I have new information that changes my outlook. Maybe I can see how God is already working in the situation…which brings up another advantage of journaling:
    • I have a space in my prayer journal for answered prayer. Sometimes, I’m praying for someone from my church with a health issue. I can come back and write out God’s response– maybe He provided miraculous healing; maybe He took them “home.” Maybe He is causing them to travel a long road — giving them opportunities to bear witness to His faithfulness in every situation. Perhaps He is causing their family or caregivers to see Him in a new way!
    • Finally, a Prayer Journal helps me to be more consistent. I can turn to it every day for prompts and reminders of God’s love and faithfulness. God IS Fervent and Consistent– He is Faithful, and His Love is limitless. And He is the one who can teach me to be the same!
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