Coming Out of the Closet

For anyone who is reading this expecting a big announcement or a shocking confession– please don’t read too much into the title…this is a blog about a lifestyle of prayer, not about gender identity or sexual orientation. I want to talk about the benefits of communal prayer as opposed to prayer that is deeply personal, and takes place in isolation.

There is a time and place for solitary meditation and prayer, and it should become our habit and practice to meet with God daily. But we are told that we should also meet with and interact with others– and this includes sharing our prayer life. For many years, I was one of the “lone rangers.” I rarely met with others specifically to pray or even share prayer concerns. I would get notices on FB or e-mail, or in the church’s weekly newsletter, but it wasn’t the same. Just as God wants to hear our hearts and share communication and communion with us, he wants us to share closeness with others.

Why isn’t it enough to just go into the closet (or other quiet space) to pray? What are the benefits of praying with a small group? Here are some:

We need social interaction– FACE-TO-FACE interaction. God did not create us to live in isolation. We need to have eye contact, hear inflections and tones of voice from others, and to have others listen to ours. We need to share more than just stories on a screen– we need to share laughter, tears, and common ground. We make deeper friendships when we share concerns (not gossip), struggles, and triumphs (not bragging). And we can share burdens, recipes!, helpful tips, jokes, and more
Meeting with others helps us keep our perspective–when we are alone, our problems become bigger; our joys fade, and our talents waste away. Meeting together helps shrink our worry and pride, ignite our hope, and drive our confidence. It also opens up our world to the experiences and concerns of others and teaches us about differences and commonalities
Our faith is strengthened to hear from others who are “in the same” place in their walk; it encourages us to hear from others who have been “through the fire”; it reminds us to be grateful, and gives us an opportunity to build someone up if we have been in their shoes; and it amazes us to hear again what a mighty God we serve, and how he has been faithful
Communal prayer creates a time to break us out of our routine– whether that routine is zooming or “glooming”– we need to mix things up and get out of our rut
God commands us to meet together, to live in unity, and to lift each other up

Can you think of other benefits? Are you in the habit of praying with others? If not, you may be wondering– how do I find others? What are the ground rules (if any)? Are there issues I should be aware of?

Once again, I can list a few that come to mind or that have arisen from experience:

To find others:

Join an existing group– a Bible study group that includes prayer time; a weekly or monthly prayer meeting group; a special interest group within a local church– Moms of Pre-schoolers, or a Dorcas group, or a volunteer group that includes prayer
Start up a group! Meet weekly, twice a week, monthly– whenever, wherever, and whatever works for you and a few others. If you don’t have a space in your home or don’t want to meet at a church, be creative– meet at a park or a local coffee house, or take turns hosting a prayer meeting with others in your group. Don’t be discouraged if there are only two in your “group”; and don’t feel bad about keeping your group limited– you may find enough interested people to form two or three groups in your neighborhood!
Think outside the box– you may stumble on to a group during your commute to work each day; in your child’s play group; at the gym; at a neighborhood church you have never visited (it doesn’t mean you are being “unfaithful” to your church to reach out to fellow brothers or sisters throughout the week!)

Ground rules:

Groups should have some structure, leadership, and accountability
Participants (including leaders) should be careful not to confuse gossip for “concerns”, or use the group for a sounding board, on-going therapy, or a captive audience for their personal drama or their political or social agenda
Group leaders need to create boundaries, so participants feel free to share real burdens and concerns but take responsibility for others’ privacy and vulnerability
Groups should be open to visitors, new members, and seekers of all backgrounds

Issues to watch for–Any group that is made up of humans can fall victim to unhealthy and unwholesome practices. Just because a group meets with good intentions and calls itself a prayer group doesn’t mean that it is a “safe” place to meet. Keep your eyes and ears open for the following:

Groups that make you feel uncomfortable for showing up, or for sharing (or not sharing every one of) your authentic concerns, your questions, or your feedback. Sometimes, we can feel uncomfortable sharing about ourselves because we feel shame or guilt about our past or about our lack of knowledge or experience; sometimes we’re defensive or hypersensitive because we’re in a new situation. But if you are being made to feel ashamed or isolated or patronized, especially if you are being labeled or discriminated against, get out. LEAVE– shake the dust off of your shoes as you go (One caveat here– there are groups that meet for specific issues (see below)…if the group is meeting to pray as parents of toddlers, and you aren’t a parent or grandparent or aunt or uncle of a toddler– not only will you feel uncomfortable, but so will the rest of the group. You should still leave this group, but you can forego the shoe shaking…)
Groups that have one or two members who dominate and intimidate the other members. Leaders need to provide boundaries and structure, but they should not squash authentic dialogue or force everyone to listen to someone else’s “true confessions” (especially if it’s a repeat of the last meeting!) This is more a “comfort zone” issue than the first one– some groups just have a couple of “talkers” and a couple of “listeners”–the point here is that there needs to be a balance so that all members have a chance to contribute
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Groups that get “taken over” or sidetracked by a single issue– unless that is what you signed up for. If you are a group whose purpose is prayer, it’s not safe to assume that everyone in your group will also want to go on a protest march or volunteer an entire Saturday at the soup kitchen. There’s nothing wrong with other activities, but it shouldn’t be a requirement of your prayer group (see above)
Groups that are only “token” prayer groups–they may “share” what’s going on in their families as “requests” but they don’t actually take time to pray about them in the group setting. They talk and eat, and maybe even say “spiritual” things. There’s nothing wrong with friends getting together, whether they pray or not, but if you’re going to call it a prayer group or a prayer meeting….
That brings me to the group that uses “prayer” as a cover for gossip or grumbling. Prayer should be constructive and God-centered. If it isn’t either, it isn’t really prayer. Even if it sounds positive and holy, if it is centered on how “blessed” you are, or what you know God needs to do in someone else’s life– it isn’t really prayer unless His name is magnified and ours is minimized.
Any group that does not honor God’s word, God’s sovereignty, or God’s goodness–Not every group that prays is praying to Almighty God, in the name of Jesus Christ, or for His will to be accomplished. While prayer groups should be open to all people, and there are wonderful opportunities for ecumenical and all-faith prayer in the public forum, a weekly or monthly prayer group is probably not the best venue. That being said, I recommend exposure to various Christian prayer styles and practices– formal and ritual prayer, spirit-filled worship prayer, gospel-infused crying out, simple “popcorn” utterances, and eloquent prayers that roll off righteous tongues in an engaging crescendo, punctuated with holy hushes.

March 24, 2025 0

So Close…

I’ve been reading in the book of Numbers this week. Numbers is not the most exciting book of the Bible. Many of the chapters are about the census, or about further rules and regulations concerning sacrificial offerings, etc.. But the chapters from 11-15 detail a series of rebellions– grumblings against Moses and efforts to return to Egypt. These rebellions happen after over two years after God had led the people out of Egypt. For two years, they have been protected, fed, sustained, and instructed by God himself. His spirit has appeared as a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night throughout their journey. They have had manna and quail to eat, water from the rock to drink, and they have seen the vast army of Egypt drowned in a matter of minutes, while they were led through the sea on dry land!

And now, they are so close to the “finish line.” They are on the very doorstep of the land of Canaan; the land God had promised to GIVE them. All that is left is for Moses to send out some scouts to bring back a report about the land– its cities and farmland, its people and its produce. Those two years must have seemed like a lifetime, but now it would be coming to an end. God would provide a homeland; a place to build houses, raise crops, rear their children, and settle into lives of peace and prosperity.

So what happened? The scouts brought back a factual report. The land had fortified cities, and lush farmland. It was already planted with plenty of fruit trees and vineyards. And there were ancient people groups with mighty warriors. Israel had just taken a census. They also had mighty warriors, and a lot of them! Moreover, they had God’s promise that the land would be GIVEN to them as their inheritance.

They were so close! Victory, rest, and prosperity were so close they should have been able to taste them. Instead, their warriors moaned and wailed like infants. The same people who had vowed to follow the Lord at Mount Sinai, now planned to walk away from His promised prize. They decided to turn around and go back to slavery in Egypt–the same Egypt that God had decimated two years earlier by sending plagues and destroying its army.

Two years of camping and living “on the road,” lost in two hours of grumbling and fear-mongering. And the punishment? Forty years of needless wandering–time to realize what had been thrown away in petty worrying and imagining the worst. Time to regret their reaction and their failure to trust God. Time for God to show them, once again, His ability to keep them safe and sound in the desert places.

And the learning curve would be a steep one. Almost immediately, a group decided that they would “prove” to God that they were ready to conquer Canaan– on their own. But it didn’t work. Then a group decided that Moses was to blame for their misfortune. But they were “swallowed up.” In the forty extra years of wandering, group after group would challenge Moses (and God) and be destroyed from within. Moses, who had already lived forty years in the wilderness tending sheep, would have to repeat the task, shepherding the entire nation of Israel for forty long and difficult years. And even he would fall victim to his own frustrations, calling water from another rock, but doing it “his” way. Even Moses would fall in the wilderness, never getting to enter the promised land.

How many times have you noticed that the closer we get to a goal, the more likely we are to fall short. We sabotage our own efforts, or we rebel against good instruction. Sometimes we just give up a few yards short of the finish. We are just over half-way through the month of February. What goals or resolutions did you make for this year? How many of them have you stuck with?

Here are three things I take away from the lessons of Numbers 11-15:

Look Beyond. Don’t take your eyes off the prize! The scouts’ report was not all bad. Yes, the cities were walled and the warriors were big and fierce. But the walls of Jericho were eventually brought down without a single battering ram, siege ramp, or arrow! Don’t ignore the trials ahead, but don’t let them blind you to the blessings beyond them!
Look ahead, not behind. Don’t waste time living in past comforts or running from past mistakes. God has something better than whatever we’re going through now. But God isn’t waiting on the other side. He is beside us, around us, WITH us right now. He is patient with us. It may take us two years (or forty-two!) to reach a goal, but if we learn to follow God, we will never be forsaken.
Look UP! God’s spirit didn’t appear on the ground around the Israelite camp. He appeared as a pillar. God called Moses UP on Mount Sinai. We need to stop looking back at our past, or around, comparing ourselves to others, and look at God’s promises. In relation to our goals and dreams, we need to LIFT them up in prayer! Daily!

We are so close! Let’s keep going in the right direction towards God’s promises.

February 16, 2024 0

Wealth in the Wilderness

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+16&version=NIV

In Exodus, chapter 16, the people of God are wandering in the wilderness of Sin (literally and figuratively!). They begin to grumble and complain about food, contrasting their current situation with their life in Egypt. Whenever I have read this passage in the past, I have assumed that the Israelites lacked food– that they were starving in the desert–and that their grumbling had some merit. After all, they are in a desert. Their complaints about water make sense. Surely, their complaints about food have the same ring of desperation.

But a few chapters earlier, and a few chapters later, we get a better picture of the true situation of these wandering bands of Israelites. As they left Egypt, they demanded from Pharaoh that they be allowed to take their flocks and herds! This would suggest that they had sheep, cows, and goats with them–meat and milk in some quantity. They may have had other animals as well– chickens, pet dogs or cats, oxen or horses. The need for water was greater– not only water for the people, but for their animals– but the complaint about meat seems to have had nothing to do with actual need. If anything, their complaint might have been about grazing land for their animals– but they never bring this complaint before the Lord. Either there was enough grass, even in the wilderness, or they had brought grain to feed their flocks. And there was grain for bread–just a few short chapters later, God gives directions for the sacrifices– sacrifices that are to involve rams, bulls, and three different types of bread, cakes, and wafers made with wheat flour!

The Israelites have provisions. They have taken enough food for the journey up to that point, and more. They complain, not that they ARE starving, but that they believe they will starve. God answers their complaint by sending quail– enough that they got sick of it– and bread from heaven (manna). The manna continues to fall without fail every day (except the sabbaths) for 40 years, throughout all their moving; in every location and season, on rocky mountainsides and dusty plains.

God’s amazing and miraculous provision should have produced thanksgiving and worship. Instead, the people got sick of the quail, and continued with their complaining and grumbling for an entire generation as they wandered around the wilderness.

How many times do we complain about “needs” that are not needs at all? I find myself worrying about bills getting paid, or the car making “odd” noises, or an aching shoulder. I find myself thinking back to days when I had more money or free time, and far fewer aches and pains. It is tempting to ask God for a return of “the good old days.” But God’s plan for the Israelites didn’t involve pots of meat that came with chains attached. God’s plan for my life doesn’t involve my immediate comfort, but my eternal character. And even in times when I feel like I’m wandering in the wilderness, God never leaves me. I have been poor, but I have not starved. I have been sick, but not left to die alone. I have been lost, but never abandoned.

There is wealth in the wilderness–the riches of God are available to those who will trust Him. Like manna, God will provide what only He can, and enough to see us through each day. He doesn’t promise that we will have “pots of meat” or easy circumstances. Instead, if we open our eyes, we will see miracles of grace, showing us how much God loves us and cares for us.

God’s people complained a lot, but rarely did they celebrate God’s provision or offer thanks. May we learn from their story, and praise the God who sends quail and manna to the very ones who doubt His mercy and love!

February 22, 2023 0

I Hate Waiting…

One of my favorite movies is “The Princess Bride.” It’s a quirky movie, based on a novel by William Goldman. It’s part fairy-tale, part satire, part warm and funny love story. In it, one of the characters, Inigo Montoya, is impatiently trying to track down his father’s killer, the vicious Count Rugen. Ironically, to fund his quest for revenge, he takes a job working as a mercenary for Rugen’s mentor, Prince Humperdinck. Part of his job is to kidnap Humperdinck’s fiancee, Princess Buttercup, and kill the mysterious man who is trying to rescue her. When the mysterious masked man climbs the perilous Cliffs of Despair, Inigo waits at the top to challenge him to a duel.

But Inigo is impatient. He calls down to the struggling masked man. “I do not suppose you can hurry things up a bit,” he suggests. He even offers to help the man–“though I do not think you will accept my help, since I am only waiting to kill you..”

Inigo is not cut out to be a vicious mercenary– clearly– because he befriends the masked man before their deadly duel (which doesn’t result in anyone’s death). He even waits–yes, WAITS– for his opponent to get rested and prepared before the duel begins. Inigo may hate to wait, but he has developed the gift of waiting for others when it really counts. (A skill he demonstrates elsewhere in the tale.)

What does any of this have to do with prayer? We are entering a season of Advent. It is a reminder that the whole world waited impatiently for the coming of the Messiah. Centuries of impatience; centuries of expectation, centuries of waiting for a coming Hope.

We will spend a few weeks waiting– and it may be made more anxious because of COVID–waiting for presents, or to reunite with family. And we all hate waiting. We are uncomfortable with delayed expectations, and uncertainty in our immediate future. Even with the joyous anticipation that Christmas brings, the period of Advent can be nerve-wracking.

Inigo Montoya spent years anticipating and “waiting” to exact revenge for his father’s death. He hated waiting. But he used that time wisely. In the waiting, he prepared. He studied the art of sword-fighting. He searched far and wide for his quarry. His life revolved around this less-than-holy goal. And, though he “hated” waiting, he waited for decades, never giving up, and finally, achieving his goal. Along the way, he made many mistakes, but he also made friends, and avenged his father’s honor.

This Advent, we “await” the coming of the Christ child. And, as followers of that same Christ, we await His victorious second coming. This is so much better than waiting for revenge. We wait for reconciliation, for restoration, and for renewed life! We have a great hope– the anticipation of Eternal Victory and Joy! How are we preparing? Do we spend our time complaining? Do we give up? Or do we seek diligently, not for a six-fingered man to kill, but for opportunities to spread the Joy and Hope we have found?!

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

November 27, 2020 0

…And I Am Not.

In my last post, I talked about “When God Doesn’t Answer..” Of course, there are times when God seems silent, and I spoke about a couple of times when that was true in my life. God’s timing and wisdom are reminders that He is God– and I am NOT.

I want to revisit that theme for a bit. I was reading the post and realized that I spoke of the waiting and hoping and God’s faithfulness in sending an answer in the person of David, who became my husband. I spoke of God’s ways being higher and better than our ways– and they are. But I left out one aspect of God’s character. Forgiveness.

It is tempting, and I gave in to the temptation, to focus on my feelings, and my positive actions during those years of waiting– taking good advice and making good use of my time as a single to volunteer and serve. But I also did plenty of wallowing in self-pity, of questioning God’s goodness and His timing. I slipped into bad habits that I had to break as a married woman– selfish habits and indulgent thought patterns. And I find myself battling new bad habits, slipping back into depression and isolation, or taking for granted the blessings of married life.

I don’t say this to negate God’s goodness in answering my longing for a husband and family, nor to suggest that God’s long silence and eventual answer were any less gracious and loving. Instead, I want to thank Him for being patient with me, for extending both mercy and grace in His good time, and in spite of my bad behavior.

Photo by u0410u043du043du0430 u0412u0430u0441u0438u043bu044cu0435u0432u0430 on Pexels.com

God’s mercy and his goodness surround us–especially when we don’t see them. When we doubt His presence, when we accuse Him of not caring, when we pout, and posture, and resent the road He has us traveling. God’s word is full of stories of people who waited– some patiently, some not so much– and people who wandered, and even rebelled. And many of them perished without ever seeing God’s answer or without repenting. But I cannot think of any instance where someone who sought God’s face or His forgiveness and was turned away– EVER. God followed the grumbling nation of Israel for forty years, His anger breaking out against them multiple times, but He remained faithful to His promise to bring them to the Promised Land. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+1&version=NCV God went so far as to remove His Spirit from King Saul, but He allowed Saul to continue to reign, even when Saul tried to kill God’s anointed one and his own son-in-law. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+19-24&version=NIV God followed David from his days as a shepherd boy through his reign as Israel’s king– in spite of David’s sins, in spite of the drama and chaos of his household, in spite of betrayal by his own sons and generals.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+kings+2%3A1-10&version=CSB God chased down Saul on the road to Damascus– after Saul had hunted and hounded faithful followers of the Messiah.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+8%3A1-3%3B+9%3A1-18&version=ESV

God is patient and faithful with us– whether we have grumbled at His timing, or turned our back on Him for a season, or actively rebelled against His sovereignty and kindness.

When God seems silent, we often forget that He also remains silent in the face of our grumbling. He withholds His righteous judgment, giving us ample opportunities to rethink, repent, and return. His silence reminds us that He is God– and we are not. He does not owe us an answer– nor does He owe us a second chance. But He will give us both in His time. Because He is God– in His sovereignty, in His boundless Love, and in His mercy–and I am not. I am not God. I am the (sometimes) grateful recipient of all that He gives.

May I be grateful today, not just for the blessings and gifts and answered prayers, but for the patience, grace and mercy I don’t deserve.

February 28, 2020 0

Tag: grumbling

So Close…

Wealth in the Wilderness

I Hate Waiting…

…And I Am Not.

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