Everything I thought I wanted
Was more important than
Spending time in prayer that day.
The noise of the radio in the background;
The daydreams and worries in my head-
Drowned out
That still small voice.
As the day passed by
My thoughts and actions
Turned…
Your presence
Nowhere to be found.
My worries and fears
Cancelling out
Faith.
UNTIL– I saw Your power in someone else’s life, giving ever increasing
Faith;
Cancelling out
My worries and fears–
(Nowhere to be found).
Your presence
Turned
My thoughts and actions
As the day passed by.
That still small voice
Drowned out
The daydreams and worries in my head;
The noise of the radio in the background.
Spending time in prayer that day
Was more important than
Everything I thought I wanted.
I’m not talking about English v Spanish or French or Urdu, but our ‘language’ very much matters. The words we choose to say make a difference. They reveal much more than just what we’re thinking or feeling. They reveal character.
When I was in college, I lived in a dorm that was co-ed by suite. That meant that two freshmen boys lived across the hall from my roommate and me (both seniors). They were nice guys, but their language was often crude. Once, I spoke to one of them about his use of the “F” word. He responded by digging up a typed-up sheet singing the praises of that word. It was versatile– it could be a noun, a verb, an adjective, or an exclamation! It had a long history, tracing back to Medieval English usage. It carried power and shock value. People like me were prudes, afraid of using powerful words and intimidated by traditional moral codes and “language snobs” who judged others. After all, we lived in America, d*** it! The land of free speech. Who was I to try to make him feel bad about his words?!
On the surface, he wasn’t wrong. The word is not “illegal”; it poses no immediate threat or danger. It is not a word meant to belittle or “cancel” its hearers, like an ethnic or racial epithet. What was the harm? Who was I to lecture him? His roommate stood by and said nothing, but his own language hadn’t been much better. Was I wrong to say anything? I was only a few years older, and a fellow college student? Was I just being prudish? It wasn’t as if he had told racist jokes or called me a crude name? What was the big deal? It was one four-letter word.
But it reveals something about the character of the person who makes a habit of sprinkling such words in their conversations. It says that their “freedom” to use such words is of greater value than their respect for their listeners. It says that the speaker chooses not to practice self-control over their speech (and likely over other parts of their life). It may reveal sloppy or lazy thinking and a weak vocabulary. And, whether we like it or not, it labels us; people will judge us based on how we speak, and on the words we choose. Even though celebrities and professors use such language. Even if such language is considered popular and even “cool.” And it encompasses all of our word choices–blasphemy and crude language, negativity in our speech, bragging and boasting, a propensity for gossip and smearing the reputations of others, lying and ‘stretching the truth’– the list goes on. Just because we CAN say something doesn’t make it wise or helpful or powerful or “right.”
3-5 A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! 5-6 It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. 7-10 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!10-12 My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you? 13-16 Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here’s what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn’t wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn’t wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn’t wisdom. It’s the furthest thing from wisdom—it’s animal cunning, devilish plotting. Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats. 17-18 Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. (James 3:3-18 –The Message)
This “taming of the tongue” is especially problematic for the one who wishes to pursue Holiness and Christlikeness. The Apostle James, in his epistle, spends almost an entire chapter discussing the issue of purity in speech (or lack thereof)! He compares it to taming a wild beast or trying to put out a raging fire. Because careless language can do as much damage as deliberate malicious or violent action. Passing along gossip may seem fun in the moment, but it can ruin an innocent reputation, AND cause people to lose trust in your ability to keep privacy, or respect others. Crude language may seem empowering and brave the first few times you use it, but it becomes habitual and attaches to your character. Snide remarks about others– social or ethnic groups, people who vote differently than you, annoying neighbors with a different ‘accent’– may seem offhand and innocuous, but they reveal your pride, lack of respect, and inability to live in peace and harmony. You become known for your ‘salty’ dialogue or your sarcastic “zingers”. You use certain words more and more often until they lose all the ‘power’ they once had to shock or intimidate. Opportunities to speak up on important matters may be given to others who can control their professional and responsible use of language. Not because your thoughts lack purpose or power, but because you show everyone that you lack the power to choose words wisely for maximum influence, peacefulness, and persuasion. And for the Christian who has developed the habit of taking the Lord’s name ‘loosely’, it lessens the impact of your witness that Christ is really your beloved Lord and King. He’s just another character whose name and reputation you toss around carelessly.
James makes a very real point in his letter– NO ONE can tame the tongue. It is natural and human to repeat words we hear, words that seem so convenient, so simple. Only with the help of the Holy Spirit can we ‘re-wire’ our brains and our tongues to speak words that give honor to others, Glory to God, and reflect wisdom and discipline that we are receiving from God Himself. We won’t always get it right– especially if we do not develop discipline in our speech. And we can’t do it at all without deliberate effort and dependence on the Spirit’s help
But language DOES matter. The guy across the hall in the memory above– we never saw eye to eye about this issue, though we remained friends. But his roommate surprised me many weeks after the above interaction. He was introducing me to one of his classmates, and the other young man started telling a story laced with profanity. My young friend stopped his buddy mid-sentence and challenged him to mind his language. “She’s a lady. She doesn’t appreciate that kind of language.” His friend seemed surprised, but he immediately cleaned up his words. And I’m almost positive it wasn’t because I gave off “Lady” vibes of any kind. I don’t even think it related directly to the incident above with the other roommate. My friend had listened to my roommate and I– he had taken note of the way we spoke, and the way we DIDN’T speak. He knew we were Christians, and that we didn’t just “talk the talk”– our lives and our language showed that we wanted to honor God above all. And when he heard his friend speaking in my presence– there was a huge mismatch. He could hear the difference immediately. He didn’t demand the “right” to use (or force me to listen to) foul language. Instead, he started to see (and hear) the wisdom and even the power of self-control.
This holds true for prayer, as well. Not that most of us use profanity in our prayer life. But how often do we use words that are negative, doubtful, selfish, or envious? Do we pay careful attention to the very words we bring before the King of Kings and our Loving Savior? Do we try to wheedle and plead instead of presenting our requests to God with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6-7)? Do we approach God as “the man upstairs” or my “Father, who are in Heaven” (Matthew 6:9)? Is He my heavenly honcho, or the Eternally Holy One and the Victorious Lamb of God?
Today I pray that my speech would reflect the Love, Wisdom, and Power of God. We are to be “salt and light” (see Matthew 5:13-16), not “salty.” Our words can bring encouragement, hope, joy, peace, empowerment, and yes, even conviction to others! But we must tame the tendency to use careless words that bring destruction, conflict, arrogance, or insult. And we must reflect on how our words reflect our heart for God– especially when we use them to pray!
My sister works for a multi-national corporation. Her division won a competition, and she invited me to the celebration event last weekend. It was a fabulous opportunity to spend time with my sister, meet many of her colleagues, and enjoy being “spoiled” as a guest. We flew to the world headquarters in Atlanta, took a tour, got dressed up and attended the “event.” They had prime rib, chicken wings with peach barbecue sauce, shrimp, a variety of pasta dishes and vegetable sides, desserts, beverages, and tons of “bling.” They gave out hats, patches, pins, bandanas, light-up bracelets, rings, and glasses, leather bookmarks, robot-drawn caricatures, photos, bags, and more. There was a private concert with a major musical artist, as well as a drum corps, trampoline artists, people walking around on stilts, and ladies in LED costumes dancing. It was like a Circus and a visit to Disneyworld all wrapped up together.
What does any of this have to do with prayer (or bruised kneecaps)? I’m getting to that…
My description of this weekend may not seem to include God, but He was definitely there every step of the way. We made it to the airport with plenty of time on Friday. This was important because my sister had mobility issues and cannot walk quickly through the airport. Right at the entrance, there was a lady from our airline who confirmed that a porter would be able to take my sister in a wheelchair directly to our gate, saving us both time and stress. He was amazing, helping us feel comfortable and even festive as we waited to board. At our gate, we were informed that our seat assignments had changed– we were right behind first class and had extra leg room!
The flight was terrific. I had not flown in a few years, and I always like to fly– to see clouds from the top, to see whole farms and villages rolling out below; to see rivers and hills and mountains from a distance and to realize just how big the world really is. It also reminds me that I am incredibly small and weak, but that God is bigger, more powerful, and more wonderful than anything I can see (or even imagine) from the airplane. Mary and I were able to chat, “catch up,” and reminisce as we sailed through cloudy skies and bumped pleasantly along with minor turbulence.
Then, mid-flight, we were told that our plane might have to divert to Montgomery or Birmingham due to a storm front in Atlanta. All or our arrangements had been carefully planned, and while we might not miss the event entirely, a delay for refueling or worse, having to change planes, would make us late and leave us with no time to check in at the hotel or change into our dress clothes! Yet, minutes later, our pilot informed us that all the details “had been worked out” so that we would land in Atlanta on time! Coincidence? I don’t think so!
We arrived at the Atlanta airport and were immediately surprised to learn that the wheelchair my sister requested was not only not there, all her information about the flight we just deboarded had been lost– they had no record that she had ordered a wheelchair, or even that she had been on the plane! But within less than ten minutes, all those details had been worked out, and we were escorted through the airport and taken directly and safely (by a very pleasant man from Senegal) to the area where we got an Uber to our hotel. The hotel had snacks and an event station where we were welcomed and made comfortable, and we were warmly greeted, not only by the hotel staff, but by many of my sister’s co-workers, including her boss’s boss’s boss! We had plenty of time, not only to change, but to take the tour we had planned earlier!
Returning to our hotel from the afternoon’s activities, we changed and went down to the lobby, where we were informed that, in spite of a last-minute cancellation, someone had been found to drive us (and another pair of sisters with mobility issues) to the event, instead of having to walk two or three blocks and several hundred yards through the gates and walkways at the stadium. More wheelchairs were provided for my sister and the other woman once we arrived at the venue, and my sister was warmly greeted (as was I) by more of her colleagues. This event could have been a nightmare of people pushing and shoving, jockeying for the best seats or the best food based on their seniority or title, chugging down free alcoholic drinks and becoming obnoxious, and generally behaving at their worst. Instead, it was civil, friendly, celebratory, and filled with people from all over North America, from all stations and positions within the corporation, enjoying a night of being together in one place and enjoying a well-earned celebration. One of the special guests of the night was the chairman of another large corporation– one known for His Christian values, which he spoke of freely!
We went back to the hotel, exhausted but strangely energized by the whole thing, and eager to enjoy the luxury of our hotel room. We had to wait several minutes for an elevator (due to the crowds returning from the event), which allowed us to meet yet another wonderful couple who were enjoying their anniversary. It has sometimes been my experience that when strangers have to wait in lines or ride through busy city streets, they can either get on one another’s last nerve, or they can become new friends. We made a lot of new friends in less than 24 hours!
The next day, we went to the Atlanta airport to get our flight home. Once again, we had a great porter who got us through security and even helped another couple who were struggling with her motorized wheelchair. The porter made sure we all stayed together until we had to split up at Concourse D. More new friends! We had plenty of time, so we walked down the long concourse (our gate was nearly the last one!) And that’s when disaster struck!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you know you are going to fall– you try to regain your balance, but you see yourself falling in a series of awkward stumbles and jerks, and the floor is rising rapidly to meet your face? Well, I ended up falling on my purse, which did a great job of protecting my rib cage. And I landed at such an angle that I did not hit my head or shoulder. I did not break or dislocate any of my bones. I did, however, land on my left knee and my right hand. Several people immediately came to see if I was ok. My knee and leg were throbbing, as was my hand near my thumb. But I was able to get up and walk, albeit painfully. I limped the rest of the way to our gate, waiting to see if I could hobble onto the plane and into my seat. We still had over an hour before our plane left, so I managed to hobble as far as a restroom and a snack bar (both within a few yards, thankfully) and back to the gate area, proving I could do so.
Yet God was there, too! My tumble could have been so very much worse. I could have required hospitalization in Atlanta (or even when I got home). I might have been concussed or suffered a sprain that would have kept us from making our final flight. Instead, I am sore, but able to recuperate at home, and write about my experience from the comfort of my own chair. And I have a much greater understanding of what my sister goes through each time she has to travel. My injuries are temporary and sharp– her pain is deep and chronic. I got to see how many wonderful people work to make it possible and even enjoyable for people with mobility issues to travel safely, and I was humbled to experience what it means to rely on the goodness of strangers.
They say that “the devil is in the details.” But this weekend, I was reminded over and over again that it is really God who shows up in the details. When God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6), it covers everything and everywhere from 35,000 feet in the air, to staring at the parquet flooring of an airport concourse– from being in a long line waiting for an elevator to being guided through a tunnel underneath a huge stadium–from help with reservations and transportation to meeting needs for companionship and connection, and yes, even recuperation. God was there in every (even painful) step of the way!
This weekend saw blessings– from prime rib at dinner, to bruised kneecaps (not normally considered a blessing), and I’m grateful, knowing God saw all of this in advance and provided just the right help in His time!
We may not always see God’s hand at work in the moment, but rest assured that He is in control, that He is right by our side every moment, and that we can trust Him to work out the details!
 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (Philippians 4:13 KJV)
I remember memorizing this Bible verse (in the King James version above) as a child. It is one of the most quoted (and, I think, misunderstood) verses I know. Taken out of context, it seems to promise unlimited potential for the Christian. I can… perform miracles, do six impossible things before breakfast, leap over a tall building, bring about world peace, and finish folding the laundry from last week!
The reality is that I can’t do ALL things. There are many things I simply cannot do– even as a Christian. I cannot grow six inches taller or shed 45 pounds overnight. I cannot cure cancer. I cannot bring about world peace. Christ CAN do any of that and more; and He can work through me to accomplish great things– more than I can do in my own power. But if I expect to do whatever I imagine or aspire to– I will be disappointed. Even with God’s Power working in my life.
But God is not only a source of power– He is the source of wisdom and love. And in His wisdom and love, he often limits what He will allow me to do. So, there are supernatural things I cannot do without God’s help and power, and there are seemingly ordinary things I cannot do without God’s permission and grace, because doing those things will go against God’s perfect plan.
I was speaking recently with a friend of mine from church. We were speaking of infertility– a problem we have both experienced. Most of the women I know who experience infertility, barrenness, multiple miscarriages, etc., have to come to terms with the ache of being “abnormal.” We assume that “normal” women can become pregnant and have children. We accept that sometimes a woman will lose a child in the womb. But when it happens over and over again, or when a woman can’t seem to get pregnant, it causes a woman to question her identity and worth. “Am I even a ‘real’ woman?” “What kind of woman can’t do the most basic “womanly” thing– give life?” We also have to come to terms with the fact that God has chosen to allow this in our lives. Does God still love me, or is He angry with me or punishing me for being “not enough”? How can God love me and let me suffer such emptiness?
And we’ve all heard stories– amazing stories in the Bible and elsewhere– of women who DID get pregnant through a miracle. Sarah, Mary, Elizabeth, Rachel, Hannah…In fact, we hear nothing of women who are barren in the old Bible stories…or do we? Anna in Luke chapter 2 is an old widow who lives in the temple. There is no mention of any children, only of her devotion to the Temple and to her God. Dorcas, who was raised from the dead by the Apostle Peter in Acts 9, is praised, not for her motherhood, but for her charitable deeds among her neighbors. Deborah, the prophetess and judge who led the Israelites into battle along with their general Barak, is mentioned as a wife, but not a mother. In ancient societies, very few women were singled out for praise outside of their roles as wives and mothers.
As women, we may question many aspects of our “role” in society. Some of us chafe at the traditional roles we are expected to perform, while others question why their traditional roles seem to be denied. I spent decades questioning why I remained “on the sidelines”– unmarried, lackluster dating opportunities, out of step with other women my age. When I first was diagnosed with Stein-Levinthal syndrome and told that it would almost eliminate any chance that I could become a mother, it was almost a relief. At least I could “congratulate” myself for not disappointing a husband I didn’t have, or go through the pain of watching him question his manhood when no children came, not knowing if the “problem” was his or mine. Other friends of mine question their role as “the weaker sex,” going to great lengths to prove that they don’t need a man in their life, or that they can compete with men for jobs, status, wealth, and power.
But God didn’t just create me to “DO” things. God created me to BE. And He created me to be in relationship with Him. And my experience gives me the opportunity to speak into the lives of other women who are hurting. I have found purpose and comfort, love and abundant joy, challenge and opportunity in the midst of infertility. And now that I’m in my sixties, I find it easier to reconnect with women my age who are empty-nesters, grandmas, widows, and “maiden aunts.” God has allowed us to DO many things.
I am struck by the fact that Philippians 4:13 was written by the Apostle Paul. Paul was in prison when he wrote this letter. “I can do all things” did not mean that Paul was able to escape prison walls or the sentence he was under. It didn’t mean that he could compel his friends to stay and attend to his needs. It didn’t mean that he could escape this “thorn in the flesh” that he wrote about in 2 Corinthians or defy the aging process. Paul didn’t mean that he could literally do “all” things. But he was reminding the Philippian believers of all the amazing things that he could and did do in his work as a missionary. He didn’t cheat death altogether, but he cheated it several times, living through beatings and shipwrecks and snakebites. He didn’t escape the thorn in the flesh, but he persevered in spite of it. And remarkably, though Paul never married or had biological children, he built relationships with people like Timothy, whom he considered a son. And He accomplished amazing things for the Kingdom of God!
So, no, I cannot do ALL things– I cannot do some of the miraculous things I want to do. Sometimes, it is even God’s will that I should be prevented from doing such things– even good and “normal” things– in order that God can mold me into a shape and for a purpose that is just right for HIS perfect plan. I may not see it in my lifetime or understand it perfectly. I will still grieve for what “might have been” in my life. But I will continue to experience joy in the journey the God has mapped out for me. And whatever He asks– well, I CAN do that! Not on my own, but beyond what I can imagine!
Have you ever been puzzled by prayer? Prayer is very mysterious. It’s difficult to explain how it “works.” I ask God to do something– sometimes I ask for very specific things. And if God chooses, He sends me exactly what I have asked for. But what if He doesn’t? Does that mean that He didn’t hear? Or does it mean that I am “out of favor” with Him? If God answers a very specific prayer, is it because I prayed for that specific answer or would He have done it anyway? Does my prayer change God’s plans, or does God cause me to pray what He wanted to do from the start? I can’t give a definite answer, because God’s ways are NOT my ways. I don’t fully understand how prayer operates.
But I don’t have to puzzle about prayer. I don’t have to analyze and dissect the various elements of prayer or of God’s Sovereign will in order to pursue prayer. Prayer has very little to do with any of the variables I can understand or control. Prayer is communicating (hopefully in an intimate and worshipful way) with a Sovereign and Holy God. If I could figure out the “how” I would not so treasure the WHO!
There are some guidelines, however, that make prayer a bit less puzzling and more practical:
Prayer isn’t about ME. I don’t have to be perfect, or eloquent, or righteous in order to call out to God. His answers don’t depend on who I am (status) or what I’ve done (performance). He doesn’t “grade on a curve,” and He doesn’t have favorites. “Whosoever” is a word that comes up often in Christ’s teachings, and I need to remember that NOTHING can separate me from the Love of Christ (see Romans 8:38-39), and ONLY Christ has made that possible (see John 15:5 and Acts 4:12)
Prayer isn’t about me, but it is FOR me. God already knows my thoughts, feelings, and attitudes. But He invites me to pray, so that WE can enjoy a relationship. God can survive and thrive without me, but I can’t live an abundant (and certainly not an eternal) life without Him. We were created to live in relationship– with others and with Him– and you can’t have a relationship without communication. And you can’t have a fulfilling relationship if the communication is only one-sided! God communicates with us in many ways– He’s given us His Word, He sends us the Holy Spirit, and He sends wisdom and encouragement through other people. But prayer is our way of responding! Browse through the Psalms and see how deeply personal prayer can be!
Prayer ISN’T transactional. Because prayer is meant to be relational, it is deep and personal– not shallow and transactional. In other words, it isn’t about WHAT I’m praying for or WHAT God gives in response. It is about sharing WHO we are– prayer may or may not answer my immediate circumstances, but it WILL answer (eventually and satisfactorily) the cry of my heart and allow me to know God more fully. While I can keep a record of how and when God has provided answers to my prayers, to remind me of His tender care or to encourage me as I face new challenges, I do not need to keep a “scorecard” of God’s answers– it is not a competition or a power play.
Because prayer is not transactional, it’s not really about the results. Of course, that is what we, in our lack of knowledge and understanding, can point to and keep track of, but Faith causes us to “see” the results that don’t yet exist (see Hebrews 11:1 and 6), and have confidence that God WILL act according to His Holy character and perfect will (see Hebrews 11:39-40). We pray BEYOND what we can see and know, because God is greater than our circumstances!
Prayer isn’t a procedure; it is a process and a pursuit. Because prayer is part of an ongoing and deepening relationship with God, it is never finished. We may say “Amen” at the end of each prayer, but really, prayer is a continuing conversation, not a task to complete. God may not answer a single “chat” when He wants to develop a conversational thread or an ongoing discussion.
God’s ways and plans are mysterious and majestic in ways my mind cannot grasp. I can puzzle and protest and whine about what God chooses to do, and when and how He chooses to do it, but I cannot tell Him how or when or why He MUST do anything. Because I can only guess at outcomes and results. God KNOWS. And even when His ways don’t seem to make sense, I can trust Him, not because I know the answers, but because I know HIM!
“When peace, like a river, attendeth my soul;
When sorrows, like sea-billows roll–
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
‘It is well–it is well– with my soul.'”
As I write this, all is not well with my life. I have bills looming, a leaky roof, and I’m grieving a recent family loss. I worry about my husband as he travels and faces danger on the job, about my aging relatives, and our kids and grandkids. All is not well with our nation– we have anger, division, violence, and strife; a breakdown of families, moral decay, and corruption. All is not well with our world–nations are at war, we are destroying our environment, and all the progress that was supposed to make our lives easier seems to have made life more complicated and frantic, instead.
But all is well with my soul–not because of anything I have done or anything I do– peace and assurance are mine solely through the grace of God, which he gives in abundance.
Prayer does not bring peace automatically, nor does its haphazard and occasional practice guarantee instant or lasting peace. Meditation, solitude, and other prayer-like exercises may bring a temporary calm, a respite, and a relief. Closing our eyes and laying our burdens at his feet can bring the same feeling. But prayer is more than just an exercise in making us feel better. It isn’t meant to take us away from our circumstances, or to hand them off to God while we waltz away from our burdens. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Coming to God in prayer doesn’t make burdens disappear. But it does mean that we no longer carry them alone, and that gives us rest for our souls. God is not in the business of making our lives easy, carefree, and comfortable. But he promises that as we share our lives with him, trusting that his ways are good and righteous, he will not only come alongside and share our burden, he will teach us and give us rest.
This is why the pursuit of prayer is so important. The discipline of daily and personal prayer teaches us how and where to find peace that lasts– peace that “passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:6-7). Like the cool, refreshing water of a river soothes and gives life, so God’s grace flows into our lives as we walk and talk with him every day.
I wrote last time about that peace, and how it comes from having our hearts and minds “stayed” or fixed on Jehovah. It was modeled for us by Christ, who spent hours in prayer– in private prayer and praying with, for, and in front of others. Jesus often went into the wilderness to spent time alone with God– praying, meditating, and listening to His Father’s voice. As Peter encouraged the early believers, we are to be “..casting all (our) anxieties on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 ESV)
We don’t pray because we are already at peace. We pray because that is where we FIND peace!
3 You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. 4 Trust in the Lord forever, For in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength. Isaiah 26:3-4 (NKJV)
We spent last weekend saying goodbye to my sister-in-law. NOT a final goodbye– more of a “see you later!” Wendy had suffered for years from both rheumatoid arthritis and stage four cancer. Many of her days were spent in agony, back and forth from hospital to home. In the middle of her battle, she had to say goodbye to her husband and navigate widowhood.
“Peace” would not seem to be a word connected in any way to Wendy’s struggles. Yet, the verses above from Isaiah kept speaking to me throughout last weekend. Not because Wendy ‘finally’ found peace and rest. But because she had a sustaining peace that “passes all understanding.” She lived with peace, trust, hope, and even joy, even while she suffered.
 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:6-9 (NKJV)
Perfect peace does not come from perfect circumstances. It does not come from willpower, or even positive thinking (notice that verse 7 precedes verse 8 in the passage above!) It comes from having your mind “stayed” on the great I AM. Not just thinking about Him in passing, or knowing a vast amount about Him, but keeping your focus and thoughts directed to Him. Peace is a by-product of a close and constant relationship with the one who is the “Prince of Peace” and the author of “shalom.”
We cannot generate perfect peace within ourselves because we are not perfect. We are not Holy, Righteous, or complete. But God is! And Paul’s advice to the Philippian believers above was written, not from peaceful surroundings, but from prison! His advice begins with prayer! Pray about everything! We can pray prayers of supplication (asking for healing, help, wisdom, direction, etc.) WITH thanksgiving– not because our circumstances are wonderful, or even because we expect God to work miracles to change our circumstances. We can thank and praise God from prison, from hospital beds or homeless shelters, refugee camps, storm shelters, blizzards, hurricane-battered houses, or sinking ships. Because God’s promises are faithful and true. They may not look like what we expect, imagine, or even hope for. They will involve pain and suffering because we still live in a broken world. God may bring us out of suffering, or help us avoid suffering, or He may settle in with us through the suffering. In every case, we can fix our eyes on the one who loves us perfectly, the one who has perfect power over every circumstance, perfect wisdom and vision to lead us through, and perfect plans for redemption, healing, hope, and eternal joy!
Wendy wasn’t perfect in this life. Suffering hurts. Pain ravages the body, and preys on the mind. Sleepless nights, loss of appetite, and nausea when one eats– such things cause us to cry out, to lament, and to ask “Why?!” Wendy did all that. But when we choose to focus less on the temporary trials of this life and look beyond to the greater story of redemption and ultimate glory, there is a peace that revives us, refreshes us, and strengthens us beyond what we can imagine. God is trustworthy– We can depend on Him when all around us is chaos and suffering. We can have hope and strength and blessed peace!
And that same peace is available to all of us who grieved for Wendy during her long illness. It sustains us with hope and strength that rises above the questions or doubts, beyond the tears and the memories of the past. We will have the joy of seeing Wendy (and many of our other family and loved ones) perfected. No more suffering; no more questions; no more separation. Perfect. Peace.
My challenge today is to stay focused on what really matters– on WHO is really in control. I pray that whatever you may be going through, that you will also find God’s perfect peace as you look to Him!
My family has prayed for years that my sister-in-law would be healed. She fought a pitched battle with cancer at the same time as she suffered from severe rheumatoid arthritis. Her bones and body were twisted, and she was in a lot of pain. Several days ago, she “lost” her battle and died at age 62. God didn’t give her the miraculous healing we hoped for. God let her suffer for years and then took her from us.
But is all that really true? Did she really “lose”? She lost the daily struggle of her earthly life. She lost the future years with her grown children, her siblings, her nieces and nephews, cousins and friends. And yes, God took her away from those of us who remain to mourn her passing from this life. But she is reunited with her husband and her father, and all those who died before. She is in the presence of the baby brother she never met. Most of all, she is standing, pain-free and glorified, before the very God who heard every prayer, felt every ache, and saw every tear drop.
Healing doesn’t always look like we imagine. Years ago, a close friend of ours got a diagnosis of non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. She underwent experimental treatment and it went horribly wrong. While it killed many of the “bad” cells, it also killed some of her healthy cells and muscle tissue along her neck and throat. She eventually lost the ability to talk, to hold up her head, and to swallow solid food. She seemed to waste away right before our eyes. We all prayed for her to be healed and to have good health restored, but her decline was slow, agonizing, and final. Another friend, a schoolmate, died of cancer a few years ago, after hundreds of people had prayed for her healing. She had great faith, and great hope that she would be cured. But she, too, died. In spite of all the prayers, in spite of her great hope. Three precious women of faith; three lives cut short by pain and senseless suffering.
Pain and suffering challenges (and sometimes destroys) faith. But faith can also be strengthened, refined, and purified by suffering– whether we are suffering physically or mentally, suffering injustice or persecution. God does not abandon us in our struggles, and our pain does not bring Him pleasure. We may question why we suffer; we may even question why God allows suffering to continue. But God never leaves us. Even when we don’t feel relief; even when we don’t hear His voice.
Wendy, Jean, and Lena are great examples of women whose faith allowed them, even in the worst suffering, to feel joy and hope. They may have had moments of doubt, fear, or even anger. But each new day brought forth praise– praise for God’s love, for His beautiful creation, for His faithfulness in the past, AS WELL AS in the midst of their suffering. They saw God clearly– perhaps even more clearly– for their struggles. And they inspired others to hope and to rejoice! They endured much. They “fought the good fight and kept the faith” as Paul said in one of his last letters to Timothy (2 Timothy 4:7-8).
I hope that I write words that are true, encouraging, and strong. I’ve read beautiful tributes to God’s faithfulness from many other people as well. But words spoken by those who suffer speak more clearly and powerfully than words written in ease or quiet contemplation. Sometimes, they scream. But they make a deep and lasting impact on those who hear. And then those words testify to God’s glory and love…they echo for generations to come.
God absolutely answered every prayer we prayed over Wendy and over others who have suffered. His healing is not always what we want or expect. But it is eternal, powerful, and glorious. I fully expect to see Wendy (and so many other) completely healed and glorious someday. And all the grief, all the unanswered questions, all the “what ifs…” that I wrestle with now will be wiped away in an instant.
We are blessed to pray for those who need healing. And, in some cases, God answers with miracles we can’t explain. Sometimes, He answers with pain and grief we can’t explain. But we continue to pray. Because healing, whether in this life or the next, is something only God can do perfectly. He heals broken bodies, grieving hearts, and troubled minds. He heals the past, redeems the present, and promises a glorious eternity with Him!
I write a lot about praying. I believe in the power of prayer. But I am often challenged by people who say, “God helps those who help themselves.” The power of prayer is not found in the people who pray but in the God who answers. And sometimes, those answers take time and require patience.
I’ve had prayers that were answered almost before I finished saying, “Amen!” But there are other prayers that tested my patience and my faith; prayers for which I’m still waiting for a definite answer; prayers that were answered with a final and unexplained, “NO!”
But some of the most amazing moments in my life have been the ones where God “showed up” at just the right (and seemingly last) moment. The time that we needed a certain amount of money to pay bills– and it showed up almost to the penny! Or that time I prayed about the teaching position. I lost out to another, more experienced candidate and spent much of the year doing substitute teaching in another county. And then, without warning, the school called to ask if I would consider coming back on probation for the same position I had lost out on– the teacher they had hired had developed significant health issues, and they needed a permanent sub for the end of the year. I was able to prove my worth, restoring order and bringing the classes back on track– I stayed for seven more years!
Waiting is not easy or pleasant. When I was almost five, I had a chance to go to kindergarten– My birthday is in November, and the school would allow “young fives”– students who would turn five before December 1st could interview for a chance to be accepted in the current year’s kindergarten. My parents considered it. I desperately wanted to go to school. But I had some lingering health issues from early childhood, and my parents worried that I would be susceptible to viruses and injuries. So, they held me back. I can still remember the ache of watching the school bus pass by my house– the humiliation of having adults ask if I was in school and having to answer, “not yet. I got held back.” It was like a badge of failure in my mind. “Not ready. Not healthy enough. Not good enough.” Years later, I can say that my parents made the best choice they knew how, and it worked out just fine for me. I loved school. I loved my classmates and teachers. And I had more time to be with my baby sister before I spent every day at school. I was older when I made decisions about college and career. I was more mature.
I waited a long time for a husband. I prayed for decades about marriage. And always, the answer seemed to be, “Not yet!” No explanation. No insight into whether I ever would be married. But in the waiting, I grew as a teacher and librarian. I found out that I could not have children of my own. I learned to manage on my own, and also how to reach out for help when needed. And I developed habits of Bible Study and Prayer that have become precious to me. My marriage is a fulfillment of patient waiting and listening to God’s voice, instead of making impatient and rash choices and shutting out the lessons along the way. Oh, and those children I could never have? I never had them. But I ended up with stepchildren and grandchildren who bless my life with love, laughter, and excitement.
God’s best is worth waiting for! I can testify to this on many levels. God doesn’t help “those who help themselves.” They literally “help themselves!” But God blesses those who wait patiently for Him. He doesn’t just show up at the last minute. He stays beside us in the waiting, He encourages us along the way, and He rejoices with us when we see the end from the beginning.
For more, see the following verses (and their context!): Isaiah 40:31, Lamentations 3:25, Micah 7:7, Psalm 130:5, Romans 8:25, Psalm 40:1, Isaiah 49:23, 2 Peter 3:9, Psalm 27:13…
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5 ESV)
What is Comfort? If you trace the origins of the word back to Latin, it comes from the same root as forte or fortify (fort, or fortare). The idea is one of strengthening, encouraging, giving courage and vigor. The prefix, com-, means jointly, or together. Comfort is what gives us strength as we come together. So, when I say that I am comfortable lying inert in an easy chair all by myself, I am actually missing the real gift of comfort.
Comfort is not the absence of pain or suffering. We cannot give comfort to someone who is enjoying a trouble-free life. In fact, when Jesus spoke to the crowds during His ministry on earth, He often made some people very ‘un’-comfortable by jolting them out of their self-righteousness and self-importance. Jesus did not lead a ‘comfortable’ life of ease and plenty; instead, He lived a life of comforting those in distress– the sick, the outcasts, the guilty, those who had little hope and even less strength. He went without many of the conveniences and securities we take for granted– a house, steady income, status, luxuries, a bank account, a college degree–He didn’t treat Himself to the perks of being a Rabbi or take vacations at a resort on the Sea of Galilee– instead, He spent some of His ministry calming the stormy waters and comforting His terrified disciples! (See Mark 4)
When we pray for someone to be comforted, we long to see them strengthened and encouraged. But sometimes, we also desire that God would make their life easy and free of problems. This is natural– no one likes to suffer– but the promise of comfort is NOT to make our life easy and full of constant happiness. The point of comfort is to help us strengthen each other, cheer each other on, encourage one another, and thrive together, no matter our circumstances.
Comfort, strength, encouragement– they are meaningless to someone who never has had to struggle. But to anyone who has felt alone and abandoned IN their struggles, comfort is a priceless gift– one that God gives us in abundance so that we can pass it on. It is exactly what Jesus practiced during His earthly ministry– He traveled dusty roads, enduring hardship and discomfort to bring healing and hope to thousands and gave His very life ‘a ransom for many.’ (Matthew 20:28 KJV)
Who could use your gift of comfort and encouragement today? Say a prayer of comfort– thanking God for the times He has given you strength and courage– and practice giving that comfort to someone else! Send a note, lend a hand, make a phone call, visit, give a smile to a stranger– it doesn’t take a lot– but make the most of every opportunity to strengthen those around you.
