No More Goodbyes

Today marks 25 years since I said “goodbye” to my father. My mother, sister, and I stood by his bedside at the hospital. The doctors had tried numerous times to re-start his heart. In the process, they had broken his sternum, and each new effort was causing additional pain and putting his lungs in danger of being punctured by bone fragments. His time was running out. We were allowed to come in and say our last words to him, before his worn-out heart finally stopped for good. I held his hand one last time, whispered that I loved him and that I would help take care of Mom. I kissed his forehead, and said a prayer. Mom and my sister did the same.

Earlier this year, I had to say goodbye to Mom as well. My sister and I were with her, and had read her mail aloud to her, as she had fallen into a coma. I was preparing to return home. I said, “goodbye;” I held her hand, kissed her cheek and turned to my sister. When I turned back around, Mom was gone–her oxygen machine was still running, but her heart had stopped beating, and she was peaceful and still. In that moment, I became an orphan.


Death is part of the curse of a fallen world. God is the source of all Life. In a fallen world, we are cut off from our life-source. Our mortal bodies must taste death. It is the consequence of Sin– our sin, and the sins of others. Disease, violence, aging, disasters, grieving, work, abuse– all conspire to drain the life out of our bodies. Life is a gift– we can’t “earn” it, and we can’t “hold on” to it indefinitely. Nor can we hold on to the lives of others–even those we love. Some day, I will lose my sister. Or she will lose me. Some day, I will lose, or be lost to my husband, my brother, my step-children, mother-in-law, grandchildren, cousins, friends, and neighbors.


And, just like leaves on the trees later this month, all of us will grow old, be changed, and fall into decay. Some will fall gently; others will be torn away by the winds of war, or crime, or cancer, or accidents. Some will fall early; others will cling to life until the last moment, but all will eventually die. More goodbyes. More grieving. More death.


But. God is the author of Life, not Death.


Death is not the end for those who have trusted their souls to God. Our bodies must still taste death. We must still say, “Goodbye” to those we love on earth. But our goodbyes are tempered with the promise that the One who conquered Death did so for US. Because Jesus was willing to die and able to rise again, we will also live again. And THIS life will be untainted and eternal. No more goodbyes. No more grieving and separation. No more fear of an unknown future that includes death. No more waiting. No more living without a father. Our Heavenly Father will never leave, never die, never suffer the ravages of age or disease, never fall. In fact, Jesus never said “Goodbye” to His disciples– it wasn’t in His vocabulary! He said that He would “Go to prepare a place…(John 14:2-3)”, and He charged His disciples to “Go into all the world…(Mark 16:15)” But He never said, “Goodbye!”

I had to say, “Goodbye,” to my wonderful parents. And I have the joy of knowing that our “goodbyes” are temporary. That I will see them again, even as I will see my Heavenly Father someday. So, while today holds in it the sadness of watching my Dad suffer in his last minutes of earthly life, it also holds the promise of reunion and restoration. My Dad will never again have to suffer; neither will my Mom. My future probably holds a few more “goodbyes.” But it also holds “Hello!” “Welcome Home!” and “I’m so happy to see you again!”

Photo by Polina Zimmerman on Pexels.com

I thank God for the lives of both my parents– for their testimonies of faith, for their good examples, and for the wisdom, laughter, and love they shared. And I thank God that their deaths were not the end of that love and joy. In fact, it will be even better to share someday what we could never have here on earth–eternal peace and freedom from grief and loss.

Twenty-five years seems like a long time, but it is a drop in the bucket of time, and nothing in light of eternity. That truth brings me great comfort as I face today. I hope you will be encouraged and comforted as well. Heaven is a place with no more “goodbyes.” And that radically changes the way I say “Goodbye” here on earth!

How Firm a Foundation

  1. How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
    Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
    What more can He say than to you He hath said—
    To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
  2. “Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
    For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
    I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
    Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
  3. “When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
    The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
    For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
    And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
  4. “When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
    My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
    The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
    Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
  5. “The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
    I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
    That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
    I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”
fire fighter wearing black and yellow uniform pointing for something

“How can you believe in a God who lets bad things happen?”
We live in perilous times; dangerous times.  Fires have swept through Canada and Hawaii (and elsewhere); massive heat waves have caused drought and death in many parts of the world; hurricanes have hit California and and the Caribbean, and another threatens Florida even as I write this. Wars rage in Ukraine and elsewhere; crime seems rampant in major cities on every continent. Diseases– even those we considered eradicated or “tamed” are making a comeback. Waste and pollution devastate our oceans, rivers, woodlands, and even the air we breathe. Often, it seems as if God is absent or powerless–sitting on the sidelines and letting bad things happen.  Those of us who claim faith in an omnipotent, loving, and gracious God are mocked and challenged.  How can we believe in the face of such evil, disaster, and injustice?  How can we offer the empty comfort of prayers and assurances?

It can be very difficult to face such challenges– there are no easy answers and “mic-drop” moments for us in this world.  But that doesn’t mean that there are no answers or that our faith is “blind” or without merit.

The Bible is filled with examples of people who followed God in extraordinary circumstances, often in the face of great evil and with little logical expectation of God’s blessing or help.  Abraham traded a wealthy, safe, and honorable life in his native land to live as a stranger and a nomad among foreigners.  Even after God seemed to fulfill the promise of a son, he tested Abraham’s faith, asking him to sacrifice his only son Read the complete story here...  Many people see this story as a horrific example of injustice and cruelty– and if Abraham had been required to go through with the sacrifice, it might seem even more unjust and cruel.  However, there are two points to consider:

  1. God clearly planned to rescue Isaac–there was a ram in the thicket all ready and waiting.  Abraham may not have known God’s purpose in asking such a thing, but he had faith that “God will provide for himself the lamb…”  God may have been “testing” Abraham, but he already knew the outcome.  The “test” was not for God–perhaps not even for Abraham–the test was for Isaac and all who would follow and experience the blessings that came through this amazing act of faith.
  2. The story of Abraham, like so many others, is given to illustrate difficult truths– sometimes about God’s character, or OUR character, or the nature and consequences of Sin.  These stories also often form patterns of allegory, foreshadowing, or illustrations of key principles and events.  Abraham was told to sacrifice his only and very beloved son– a horrible prospect for any father.  But God provided a substitute sacrifice– a lamb– allowing Isaac to live and become the father of many nations.  God’s plan for the salvation of the world was built on the same pattern.  God sent his only and very beloved “son” to be the substitutionary sacrifice for the sins of all mankind– a horrible prospect for a loving Heavenly Father.  And this time, the son willingly gave His life to become the fulfillment of the promise acted out in Abraham’s story.
shallow focus photography of sheep

And, of course, there are hundreds of other stories– throughout the Bible, and throughout history– that demonstrate the blessings that come through radical and even tiny acts of faith in God.

Hebrews, chapter 11 lists several examples.  And a key verse in the chapter points out:

13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.

Hebrews 11:13 (KJV)

These great examples of faith died without seeing the end results..but the end results are there for US to see!  Faith in humanity– faith in Science– faith in ourselves– these are doomed to end in disappointment.  Not because we don’t believe enough; not because these things are “bad”– but because faith needs an unshakeable, immovable, solid, and eternal foundation.  Our faith in Christ is not a blind faith, an empty faith, or a desperate faith– it is a Faith that is firmly rooted in history, in observable facts, and in revealed truth.  And even in the fiercest storms, the worst of disasters, and the overwhelming flood of hatred and evil in the world, our faith stands firm and sure– not because it is “our faith”, but because it is built on Him who is before and above all things–yesterday, today, and forevermore.

man holding sheep statuette

Our very firm foundation may seem invisible to the world, but that doesn’t change its reality or its power. We pray to the ONE who calms storms, who tears down and builds up kingdoms, and who holds all of eternity, including our future, in His hands. Fires, floods, trials, and terrors cannot overwhelm those who put their trust in Jesus. We may still get wet, singed, singled out, persecuted, and knocked down, but we will never be abandoned or defeated, or forsaken. Even if it seems like God is holding a knife to our neck– remember how the story ends! There is a lamb who has taken our place. God will not put an end to our hope. Even death cannot separate us from His Love and His Purpose for eternity. It’s all there– in His Excellent Word!

Where Does My Help Come From?

I read an on-line article the other day https://www.verywellhealth.com/perils-of-using-the-internet-to-self-diagnose-4117449 about people using the internet to find medical information, rather than seeing a doctor. The article focuses on self-diagnosis, and the dangers of using only on-line sources to diagnose and treat a chronic medical condition. But I was astonished to note that over two-thirds of American adults (according to various studies) are using the internet to get at least some of their medical advice, and many of them prefer to get their medical information in this way. Why is this?

I think there are several factors, many of which are not discussed in the article:

  • Convenience–The internet is easy, quick, and convenient. I can look up medical terms, symptoms, treatment options, find testimonials and comparisons of various medications and procedures all at the touch of a few buttons, all from the privacy of my own home. I can stay in my pajamas!
  • Cost (in both time and money)– I can save hours of sitting in waiting rooms and thousands of dollars by seeking help from the internet. I don’t need to “waste” time or money on multiple appointments in multiple locations with multiple specialists. I don’t need to spend more on medication if the internet offers alternative treatments.
  • “Confirmation Bias”– the article does discuss the idea that using the internet often helps us achieve a sense that we “know” ourselves better than our health care provider– that the information on the internet can be customized to confirm our already-held beliefs about what is wrong and how to treat it. And we can find on-line groups and sites that will confirm and support whatever we already believe about our health or treatment options, or steer us toward a course of treatment that more closely aligns with our established preferences and habits.
  • Community–One of the positive points about using the internet is that we can connect with a community of others who also suffer from similar chronic conditions. We can receive support and advice from people near and far, and connect with resources that would otherwise be unknown to us, given by those who seem to understand and sympathize.
  • Credibility–The article does NOT go into much detail about this, but many Americans (and I suspect others) no longer have a blind trust in the medical profession. Even once respected institutions, such as the National Institutes of Health, the Center for Disease Control, and the World Health Organization have lost much of their status and credibility due to their handling of COVID and other recent medical crises. We no longer trust the “experts” to give us the best medical advice. We are looking for someone (anyone) who seems to have a better answer–one that doesn’t require us to trust where we have felt disappointed or hurt.

Of course, this poses danger and risk to anyone who is trying to “go it alone” in their medical journey. We risk getting it wrong and causing more harm– even risking our lives. We may end up spending more time, energy, and money “fixing” the damage we cause by trusting the wrong people, and end up confused, frustrated, and angry at ourselves and everyone else we trusted to help us. Even “support” groups have been known to give false encouragement and even prey on people or families who are struggling with chronic illness.

But this article also reminded me that we can risk our spiritual health in the same way– going it alone instead of getting connected to a local church, or substituting on-line articles and blogs (even this one!) for daily personal prayer and Bible study. How does this happen, and WHY?

  • Do we find it more convenient to pick and choose our counsel from the abundance of resources available on-line? Do we only want to read or listen to those who tell us what we want to hear? (See 2 Timothy 4:3-5)
  • Are we trying to “cut corners” in the cost of being a Christian? Do we find it too much to spend time in church, wrestle with questions, accept correction from others, or ask for help?
  • Are we worried about “fitting in” or are we trying to create a “holy huddle” of like-minded people, regardless of our call to be part of the “Body of Christ?” (see 1 Corinthians 12:12-30)
  • Have we lost faith in the Church because of past encounters with others, or the attacks of unbelievers? Do we find it easier to “customize” our spiritual life, closing ourselves off from the kind of challenges that cause us to grow, and falling into a comfortable compromise?

The internet can be a wonderful tool, allowing us to share encouragement, testimonies, warnings, and valuable information globally with a few keystrokes! But it is not without risks. Ultimately, we need to trust, not the makers of websites, or the self-proclaimed “experts” of the world, but in the Sovereign God– the Maker of Heaven and Earth, the one who holds the future of our health (both physical and spiritual) in His Almighty Hands!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

I lift my eyes toward the mountains.
Where will my help from from?
My help comes from the LORD,
The Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 121:1-2

My prayer today is that we would look beyond the mountains of information we find on the internet, and fix our sight and our trust in God for our daily bread, our health, and our future. May we rely on His wisdom to help us seek the right counsel, and to learn, even from our sufferings, that His Presence and His Promises are eternal, sufficient, and sure!

Voice Mail

A couple of weeks ago, I was at a prayer meeting, and I set my phone to vibrate, so it wouldn’t ring and disturb everyone during prayer time. But I forgot to change the settings afterward. For three days, things were pretty quiet as my phone sat vibrating in my purse across the room, or plugged in to the charger overnight! I had several missed calls, and many voice mail messages waiting for me when I finally noticed what had happened. Some of the callers were trying to get in touch with me about my car’s extended warranty, but most were calls about personal or business matters that I should have responded to– if only I had heard the phone ring. This didn’t stop me from sending calls or text messages to other people; it just meant that I didn’t get their messages to me.

I think sometimes, we can do the same thing with other forms of communication, including prayer and Bible study. We send messages to God, but we live with our “ringers” off– unable to receive or respond to God’s messages to us. And, as we become aware of our neglect, we are afraid to check our “voice mail,” lest we find harsh or condemning messages from God. “Where have you been? Why aren’t you answering my calls? I’ve been trying to get in touch!”

Throughout the books of the prophets, God left such messages for His people. They “knew” His law, and His promises; yet they were deaf to His voice, and hard-hearted toward Him. Even as invaders were approaching, ready to destroy the Temple and carry the people away into exile, they ignored God’s call to return to Him and follow His ways. Instead, they prayed to worthless idols and made worthless treaties with neighboring nations– treaties they wouldn’t even keep. They listened to false prophets who only told them what they wanted to hear– that God would come to their rescue and ignore their “bad habits” and idolatry. Again and again, God sent prophets with messages of terror and destruction. And mixed into each was a message of hope and restoration–exile would come, but so would a Savior.

God still speaks through prophecies, though rarely. His greatest word was Jesus Himself, living out His Holy character, and dying to show us both the cost of Sin and the Glory of Grace! God’s “Voice Mail” message to us is Our Savior– not to save us from foreign invaders or earthly trials, but to save us from the power and slavery of Sin. His message is clear and consistent–“Follow Me!”

There are many other messages clogging our voice mail– from car warranties to frivolous memes; from distracting messages to false promises. It is important to check which messages are coming from God’s word, which messages are consistent with His Word, and which ones are contrary to His Word. God will never send a message that contradicts His Character– He will not whisper to us about “cheap grace” or set us up for failure. He WILL warn us of the consequences of Sin and offer us forgiveness whenever we repent.

Photo by Sunshine Caro on Pexels.com

Today, I need to check my “Voice Mail”. God is glad when I speak to Him, but He also wants me to listen and obey; to follow Him. There is a warning in God’s message– something far worse than a temporary exile is headed our way. But there is NO condemnation– only a plea to return to Him, and enjoy the Grace He wants to lavish on us. God’s message is far better than a car warranty– it is a message of Salvation and Eternal life; a continuing message of Hope and Restoration. If only I will listen and respond! Have you checked your voice mail lately?

Mumbled Prayers

As I write this, I’m having an “off” day. I don’t feel well. I don’t particularly feel like worshipping or saying joyful prayers. I don’t even feel particularly like saying a prayer. But I will pray– even if it’s just a mumble or a groan.

God meets us where we are. He is not just the God of the joyful and productive; the “shiny, happy people,” or the ones who feel like overcomers. God is the God of the hurting; the God of the lonely; the God of those who are sad, tired, and feeling “off.” Of course, God doesn’t want me to go through life this way. I will have better days– days of accomplishments and celebration. But God does not leave me alone when I am grumpy, upset, or “blue.” He is right beside me, surrounding me with His presence. So I can mumble today, even if I sang yesterday or cry out in anguish tomorrow.

Prayer is a pursuit for every day– not just when we “feel like it” or when we are desperate for answers. It is a discipline. If I choose not to pray today, I may more easily choose not to pray tomorrow, or the next day. And God will still be waiting there, patiently, whether I mumble or give Him the “silent treatment.” Because prayer is more than just a pursuit and a discipline. It is part of a relationship. God already knows me intimately, but He wants ME to know HIM as well. And He wants me to know and experience His Love– even when I don’t feel it; even when I know I’m not very loveable. And that knowledge–that enduring relationship–will carry me through days like today. I can mumble, or whisper all the lies and sadness I feel on a particular day, but God’s presence will break through and wrap me in the cloak of Truth–the everlasting Truth of His Love and Faithfulness. Feelings will pass, but Faithfulness endures. And I pray to the God who is Eternally Faithful–even when I am temporarily feeling faithless and far away.

God is an expert at turning mumbles into melodies!

Influence…


This is how the Lord responds: “If you return to me, I will restore you so you can continue to serve me. If you speak good words rather than worthless ones, you will be my spokesman. You must influence them; do not let them influence you!

Jeremiah 15:19 (NLT via biblegateway.com)

I’ve been reading in Jeremiah for the past week. Jeremiah was given a thankless task of delivering a prophecy of doom for the people of Judah and Jerusalem. God, in His righteous anger even told Jeremiah that he should no longer pray for his own people. Their doom was inevitable, brought about by their continuous idolatry and arrogant disobedience. As Jeremiah received the visions, he grew discouraged. Why should he continue to preach to those who were never going to listen? Why face the ridicule, the persecution, and the death threats? Why bother? Instead of drawing closer to God, He was being influenced by the continued rebellion of the people he was supposed to be warning!

But the Lord responded with a rebuke to Jeremiah–“Don’t give up! Don’t walk away from your mission! Turn around and focus on ME! Don’t let them influence you–You must influence them!” Those are difficult words to read. And even more difficult ones to put into practice. It is very easy to feel discouraged when it seems that you are alone in your beliefs; alone in your commitment; alone in your grief and distress. Jeremiah was torn and broken by his mission–no one wanted to hear his message. No one responded to his calls for repentance or his warnings of God’s judgment. In fact, his complaint was that other “prophets” were saying the opposite– that God would rescue Judah from her enemies; that all would be well. How could Jeremiah stand firm in the face of such opposition?

God’s answer may seem a bit harsh on the surface–“Stop whining! You WILL be my spokesman, and you must influence them and not let them influence you.” But look closer, and you will see an amazing and hopeful message in God’s rebuke. God has not set Jeremiah up for failure and discouragement. God’s promise is to strengthen and protect Jeremiah in spite of the opposition– if he will stay the course. Against the worst odds, against the threats of his enemies, God will be with Jeremiah as he speaks the truth–no matter how difficult; no matter how grievous; no matter how unpopular. Moreover, God will give Jeremiah the power to influence his enemies– not just with his words, but in spite of them–by his faithful, courageous commitment to the truth.

We live in a world where people make a career out of “influencing” others– advertising, advocating, lobbying, arguing on social media, creating memes and soundbites and slogans. We are surrounded by voices and billboards and pop-ups demanding our attention and invading our thoughts. And it can be very easy to be swayed by the overwhelming noise and distraction offered up all around us. Just like Jeremiah, we can be discouraged, and even silenced, by the crowds of others, speaking fear, doubt, anger, and lies. And, in our own voices, we cannot drown out their “influence.”

Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com

God does not call us to shout louder, or change our message to be more “palatable” to the masses. God does not call us to “win” every argument or convert all of our neighbors. But God does call us to be faithful in speaking the truth– more, He calls us to live out the truth in obedience and humility. It may seem thankless at times, but living with integrity and solid faith influences others in ways only God can know. We need to continue to speak truth. “Worthless words” may rule the airwaves, or glut our newsfeeds. But truth whispers in consistent, loving action, and humble service. May we be known more for our prayers and our steady confidence than for persuasive tongues or arrogant arguments. In the end, actions really do speak louder than words.

Prayer is the exception to this rule. Prayer taps directly into the heart and mind of God as we pour our own hearts and minds out to Him. Jeremiah’s heart was tender– he wanted mercy, even for those who were far from God. The same people who were taunting Jeremiah and plotting his death were the ones he was asking God to spare! Jeremiah’s prayers reflected God’s heart and character– God delights in giving Grace, and in restoring relationships. But God’s purpose in sending Jeremiah dire prophetic messages had far greater scope than what Jeremiah could imagine. Jeremiah’s prayers WERE effective, even if he couldn’t see the answers. His prophetic message made it crystal clear that Israel (and everyone else) NEEDED a Messiah– the one God would send at “just the right time” (see Romans 5:6) And right in the middle of Jeremiah’s messages of doom and destruction, God sends him a hopeful promise and great assurance :

This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

Jeremiah 29:10-11 (The Message)

“This is God’s Message, the God who made earth, made it livable and lasting, known everywhere as God: ‘Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.’ “This is what God, the God of Israel, has to say about what’s going on in this city, about the homes of both people and kings that have been demolished, about all the ravages of war and the killing by the Chaldeans, and about the streets littered with the dead bodies of those killed because of my raging anger—about all that’s happened because the evil actions in this city have turned my stomach in disgust. “But now take another look. I’m going to give this city a thorough renovation, working a true healing inside and out. I’m going to show them life whole, life brimming with blessings. I’ll restore everything that was lost to Judah and Jerusalem. I’ll build everything back as good as new. I’ll scrub them clean from the dirt they’ve done against me. I’ll forgive everything they’ve done wrong, forgive all their rebellions. And Jerusalem will be a center of joy and praise and glory for all the countries on earth. They’ll get reports on all the good I’m doing for her. They’ll be in awe of the blessings I am pouring on her. “Yes, God’s Message: ‘You’re going to look at this place, these empty and desolate towns of Judah and streets of Jerusalem, and say, “A wasteland. Unlivable. Not even a dog could live here.” But the time is coming when you’re going to hear laughter and celebration, marriage festivities, people exclaiming, “Thank God-of-the-Angel-Armies. He’s so good! His love never quits,” as they bring thank offerings into God’s Temple. I’ll restore everything that was lost in this land. I’ll make everything as good as new.’ I, God, say so. “God-of-the-Angel-Armies says: ‘This coming desolation, unfit for even a stray dog, is once again going to become a pasture for shepherds who care for their flocks. You’ll see flocks everywhere—in the mountains around the towns of the Shephelah and Negev, all over the territory of Benjamin, around Jerusalem and the towns of Judah—flocks under the care of shepherds who keep track of each sheep.’ God says so.

Jeremiah 33:2-13 (The Message)

God’s words are powerful. And they are backed by His actions! His Faithfulness and Compassion outweigh His punishments. His final words are Victory and Peace! May we be influenced by the Truth, and may we hold fast and be an influence that lasts longer than a soundbite or a meme!

Driven to Pray?

I met up with an old schoolmate last week, and he asked a question that made me think a lot. He wondered whether our generation– specifically our classmates and friends, were “driven.” His observation was that many of his nieces and nephews seem to have a lot of drive and ambition that he doesn’t remember seeing (or experiencing) in our youth. He noted that few of our friends have gone on to become lawyers or doctors, engineers or CEOs.

I wasn’t sure how to answer his observation. I started, but didn’t complete, a master’s degree. I know several of our friends who are teachers, paralegals, and business owners. Many have what most people would consider at least moderately “successful” lives– happy families, rewarding careers, the respect of others in their communities. And yet very few have distinguished themselves on the national or international front– aside, perhaps, from him! He is a tenured professor, with several published books, and has studied and/or taught at several universities around the world. If HE can’t remember being driven or ambitious, how does he explain his own “success?”

But the observation struck a nerve with me on a personal level. I know that many of my former classmates and long-time friends may find it odd that I have “settled” for the life I live. I own a business, but it is a modest one. I have taught and worked in libraries, but I could have chosen to become a professor or administrator or library director; I could have taken any of a number of more “important” or lucrative positions over the years. But I wasn’t driven to “succeed” in that way. Did I waste my potential? Was I lazy or fearful of success? Did I not have the potential, or did I not have the drive to become “more” than what I am?

Ultimately, I am driven (I hope) by the Holy Spirit. Not to become a “successful” person by the world’s standards, or even by my own ambitions, but to become the person God made me to be– a person who reflects His character and His priorities. I hope that I am becoming a “successful” follower of Christ– no matter what that looks like on the surface to classmates, neighbors, or family. I don’t need to be rich, famous, popular, or “important.” I DO need to be developing Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control (Galatians 5:22-23)

This week, as I have been meditating on the idea of “drive” and ambition and “success,” I started thinking about how it relates to prayer. I am driven to become more like Christ, and that includes being driven to live a life of prayer. But what really drives my prayer life? Because my pursuit of prayer and my practice of prayer may be “driven” by something other than pure motives:

  • Am I driven to pray because I believe that I am “ticking a box?” Have I read the Bible today? Check. Have I prayed some kind of prayer at some point? Check. Have I done a random act of kindness? Check. This is not really a spiritual pursuit of prayer. In fact, it can become idolatry– I can pray because I believe the act of praying makes me “better” or “good enough” to deserve God’s forgiveness or mercy. This drive comes from my own desire to control my growth and behavior. It is not “wrong” to set goals or make lists and stick to them. (After all, we are to be developing discipline and self-control!) But we must be careful not to shift our priorities from God’s discipline to our own lists and habits.
  • Am I driven to pray when/because others are watching? Am I seeking their approval more than I am seeking God’s face? Am I seeking to be “important” or pious, when God is asking me to be humble and obedient?
  • Perhaps I am praying out of fear, worry, or doubt. I am driven to pray in the same way that others are driven to consult a horoscope or carry a “lucky charm.” God wants me to trust Him. He knows that I will not always be perfect in Faith, but my prayers should not be double-minded (see James chapter one). I should not be using prayer to “hedge my bets” when faced with adversity. It is good to call out to God if we are frightened or uncertain, but we must develop Faith over fear. And in the end, God also wants us to be joyful in remembering and trusting in His promises
  • Am I driven by guilt or shame? It is good to confess our sins. But we also have to remember that IF we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us, and to cleanse us (1 John 1:9). If I am still confessing the same sins over and over, is it because I didn’t really trust God to forgive me, or because I didn’t really want to repent and change my ways– I just wanted a “free pass” to keep sinning, but not feel guilty for the consequences?
  • Maybe I am driven to pray for others because I think MY prayers can save them, or influence their life. Again, this can become idolatry. We have been given the amazing opportunity to pray for others. God already knows their needs– better than we can! And God can do miracles without any input from us. Yet He chooses to give us the privilege of praying and participating in His work! Again, it is commanded that we pray for one another, but we must remember to Whom we are praying. Our prayers for others are part of a circle– God’s Spirit moves us to compassion and concern– we take that compassion and lift up others before His throne. He knows what is best; He will do what is best. He wants us to participate, not to dictate!
  • Sometimes, I may be driven to “dictate” a particular outcome in my own life. My own ambition may be to become what I want, rather than what God wants for me. This can be a tricky concept. There are ambitions that God lays on our hearts– they are not wrong, but God’s timing may not match ours. I prayed for years to be married; to “find” the “right” mate, and to “be” the right mate. I even prayed that God would change my heart if my ambition was “wrong.” God’s timing was certainly not my timing. The ambition was not wrong, but my patience and trust needed to be developed.
  • Perhaps I am NOT driven to pray…maybe I lack the focus or lack the drive in my walk with Christ because I am drifting away from my first Love. I am driven to seek after something other than intimacy with my Creator. Maybe I am so content with my life “as it is” that I am not seeking direction and correction from the Holy Spirit. Perhaps I do not have the compassion and drive to pray for others because I do not see them fully as God sees them. Perhaps I do not trust God fully with the “little” things in my life because I do not see my need for His guidance.

I think it is not a bad thing to wrestle periodically with questions like this. Maybe today is the right time to ask, “Am I driven to pray? What drives me to my knees? What should be driving me there?”

“Praying” Hide and Seek With God

A strange image popped into my head the other day while praying with our Wednesday morning prayer group from church. I was trying to express the amazing paradox that we are being pursued by a God who is omnipresent, while seeking the same omnipresent God. And the image God gave me was one of playing a game– “Peek-a-boo” or “Hide and Seek.” Of course, prayer is not just a game– it is nothing less than communicating with the Sovereign Lord of the Universe! But God delights in our prayers, and He delights in delighting us as we learn and experience new aspects of His Character.

I love to play “Peek-a-Boo” with babies and toddlers. They love the idea of being “discovered” and “finding” someone. There is a moment of supreme joy in finally seeing oneself in the eyes of the beholder– that moment of recognition and reaction to being the focus of someone’s attention–the joy of intimate connection, “I SEE YOU!” But the game only brings joy if both of us are present and interacting. It brings no joy to a baby to see me staring off into space, or glued to my cell phone. The baby might be intrigued, or even comforted by my nearness, but there is a deeper thrill when she knows that my eyes will shine as they are revealed– looking directly at her! And I get great joy from seeing the baby’s delight.

The same is true of “Hide and Seek.” Yes, the idea is to hide from sight–for awhile. But what fun is it to hide and never be found? What fun to search for someone who has gone away and has no desire to be discovered again? The joy of the game is in that moment of discovery and being discovered– even though we know the other person is somewhere close by, there is that moment of re-connection that brings a jolt of delight. AHA!! I have found you! AHA! You searched for me and found me!

Photo by Nicola Barts on Pexels.com

This is the great tragedy of Sin. Sin causes us to want to hide and NOT be found. (See Genesis 3:8-10). We live in shame and fear, dreading the thought of God finding the “real” us, the secrets we carry, and the ugliness of our hearts. We are frightened by the thought that God is omnipresent– that He sees us; that He sees THROUGH us! We do not want to “Face” God’s justice, and see disappointment and anger in His face. Instead, we want to run away, to cover our eyes, if He will not cover His.

Conversely, this is the great joy of being a Christian. We don’t hide from God’s presence; instead, we turn to Him in delight and recognition. We pray to BE found and to be seen! Finding God, and being found BY Him, involves no fear, no condemnation (Romans 8:1), and no shame. God sees us– all our secrets and shame– through the blood of Christ’s redemption. We are “Born” again– like babies, we can revel in the connection with Our Loving Father. Like a child waiting for the “boo” in Peek-a-Boo, we anticipate the day when we will see Him face-to-face in all His Glory; in the meantime, each glimpse of His Grace, each revelation of His Faithfulness, builds our Hope and our Joy, excites our anticipation, and makes our Heart yearn for the future.

God is omnipresent. His spirit is all around us all the time. As Christians, His Spirit is indwelling– He is not just all around us, but He lives and works IN us and THROUGH us! And yet, God delights in those moments when we turn away from the world around us to focus on just Him. In the same way, even though God is everywhere, He seeks after us and pursues us with a passion and devotion that knows no limits– “Here I am!” “I SEE YOU!” “You are the one who makes my eyes shine!” “I LOVE YOU!”

Today, as you turn away from the world to focus on the Lover of Your Soul, may you find that incredible delight in recognizing His Presence for what it is– Divine, Eternal, Limitless, and Loving.

Making the Most of Every Opportunity

4-5 Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!
6-7 Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
8-9 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.
10-14 I’m glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you’re again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don’t mean that your help didn’t mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

Philippians 4:4-22 (The Message)

I have been blessed with the opportunity to do a couple of short-term mission trips. I am not a “Missionary” in the traditional sense. I have not left friends and family behind to move to a new culture or live among strangers for years to spread the gospel. I basically took some working vacations, met dozens of wonderful new friends, learned about the work they are doing in their community, and joined in helping them with a couple of small projects (painting, sorting donated clothes and shoes, working in the school, helping organize a library, putting together scrapbooks, etc.) I was able to go back and visit five times over a dozen years and watch as the children grew up, the school added on, the staff changed, and the mission work focus became broader and more community-focused.

Two things about visiting the mission field– you meet amazing people and you hear amazing stories. Some people will become life-long friends. Some people teach you and touch you in unexpected ways, even if they cross your path only on a single day. Some stories make you re-evaluate all the things you take for granted. Some stories leave you laughing or crying along with your new friends. Some just leave you speechless.

One such story happened on my first visit. We went on a “field trip” to see a developing community not too far from the border between the Dominican Republic and Haiti. Hundreds of Haitian refugees had flooded into the D.R., and at least two mission groups from the U.S. and Canada were working to provide housing, healthcare, and schooling for homeless families. Several teams of workers had already started building small cinder-block houses, a couple of bath houses/bathroom facilities, etc. in an area that used to be a sugar cane field. The houses were serviceable, and had basic electricity and running water. However, the water was only good for washing, not for drinking. The houses were close together, with very small plots for gardening, but the land was rocky and dusty. There was a centralized “administration” building, with a small clinic and other basic community services, a small elementary school, and a small chapel. Most of the homes had an electric light bulb hanging from the ceiling, but no other appliances. Meals were still cooked over a small open fire in the main room of the house. Cots or bed rolls took up most of the other room. The bathrooms were in the communal bath houses.

Not the actual location, but this is not too different from what the first houses were like– very basic.

I set the scene above so the circumstances are clear. These families were happy to be alive, and to have any shelter at all, but they were not living in luxury, nor were they moping and in despair about their condition. Part of our visit was to bring awareness to what efforts were already underway, and what needs were still outstanding. Medicine was scarce; many of the families had at least one person who was HIV positive, and many of the others had issues resulting from malnutrition and untreated childhood diseases. Jobs were hard to come by– the sugar cane plantations and rum factories had a history of exploiting their workers, and very few other jobs were open to Haitians who either didn’t speak the language or had no work permit/official identification. The mission organizations were not set up to provide jobs, income, or food and water. They were surviving on donations, which were sporadic and usually consisted of non-perishable items like clothes and hygiene items (toothpaste and soap).

Into this scene, the mission had received a princely donation of several hundred pairs of flip-flops. One of the bigger department store chains in the states and an overstock of black and white flip-flops– different sizes, but all the same style and colors. There were enough that everyone in the community could have a new pair of shoes! However, after the shoes were distributed, the administrators noticed that people were still going around barefoot. Very few of the people were wearing the new shoes. Finally someone asked if there was a problem with the shoes.

The answer they received is the heart of the story, and a lesson I have never forgotten. The people were very grateful for the shoes. But their greater need wasn’t for shoes. God had heard their prayers and supplied their need. Several enterprising members of the community had bundled dozens of pairs of flip-flops, carried them nearly eight miles into the nearest beach-front town, and found a spot along the beach where they sold the shoes to foreign tourists. Other groups did the same thing. Using the money from the sale of the flip-flops, they bought bottled water and produce at other roadside stands, carried them back to the community. This way, such items would be readily available while they waited for crops to grow in their gardens or a closer source of drinking water could be found.

On a later trip, we visited this community again. There were flowers, gardens, and two or three “colmados” (Dominican-style corner markets), which had grown out of two or three houses being torn down and reassembled. The community was flourishing. The “administration” center was still used mostly as a clinic and community meeting center, but some of the community members were administrators there. The school and church had grown, and there was now an arts and crafts center; community members were making candles, necklaces, wood carvings, and other items for sale at the beach, where they now had an established booth. God had used hundreds of unwanted, discarded shoes to supply an opportunity for people to work together and build a thriving community. There are still issues– health issues, domestic issues, economic issues– plaguing this settlement. But it is now “home” to hundreds of families who once had nowhere to go, and it is a beacon to surrounding communities, giving hope to hundreds more in the area. And, while some of the community members still go barefoot, most have shoes– shoes they chose and bought and paid for with their own money!

I’ve told this story before, because it is such a strong lesson in looking for and making use of every opportunity. God’s gifts are never wasted on us IF we choose to see them as gifts. Even our abundance– our “leftovers” and “overstocks” can benefit others in ways we might never imagine. And our efforts– even small ones taken in the midst of struggles– will pay dividends when we trust in God to supply our true needs.

Behold!

Matthew 6:22-23 English Standard Version (ESV)

22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, 23 but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

adult anger art black background
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O be careful little eyes what you see

O be careful little eyes what you see

There’s a Father up above

And He’s looking down in love

So, be careful little eyes what you see

whole song text here

This little light of mine–I’m gonna let it shine!

black frame sunglasses beside table lamp

Both the scripture text and the children’s song above are often used in the context of watching pornography or violent images, and their negative effects.  It is true that if we fill our sight with negative and sinful images, we will be impacted negatively.  We become desensitized to violence and evil; we become addicted to images that shock or excite us.

But I think there is more going on in this text, and I think it has a bearing on our prayer life.  What we choose to see also involves what we choose NOT to see. We talk a lot about what we shouldn’t be watching or seeing, but there are some things– even unpleasant things– that we MUST see if we are to be the light of the world.  Not only must we see such things, we must shine a light on them and cause others to see them.  Injustice, corruption, dishonesty– we must be careful to see them for what they are. And we must see them clearly to pray about them wisely.

person holding magnifying glass

We live in a world of optical illusions, and it can be very difficult to see clearly.  But that is what we are called to do.  If our eyes are good/healthy, we will let in the light of truth, so that shadows and illusions will become stand out.  If our eyes are bad/unhealthy, the shadows and illusions will trick us.  We will see only what can be seen in a glance, and miss the bigger picture. And we will pray, not with an eye toward the bigger picture, but narrowed in on our own limited vision of the world around us.

John the Baptist had excellent “vision.”  As he was out in the hot sun glinting off the Jordan, he looked up to see hundreds of people waiting to be baptized.  But his eyes were searching the horizon, seeing all the others, but seeking one face.  And when he saw it, he drew everyone’s attention to it– “Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.”  (John 1:29)  Our eyes, like those of John, should be looking with purpose and hope.

built structure against sunset sky

Throughout the Bible, God looks at people with love and compassion.  Several times in the gospels, Jesus looks upon or takes note of people (some of whom are seeking him, and others who know nothing of him) and has compassion on them.  Our eyes, like those of our Father, should be looking in love.  Love sees things as they really are– it sees sin, pain, disease, betrayal, war, hatred, greed.  But love sees beyond to people who need salvation, healing, restoration, peace, compassion, and hope.

I need to give careful consideration to what I allow myself to see– do I see all the negative, hateful, sinful things going on around me?  Do I see such things with a sense of purpose and with compassion?  Or do I ignore them and turn my gaze inward, shutting out the hurt and need all around me?  Do I see all the shadows and illusions and let my own light grow dim?  Or do I see the Light of the World, ready to shine (even through me), with hope and redemption?  Will I pray with my eyes closed and shuttered, or wide open?

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