“Sheepish” Prayers

“The Lord is my Shepherd…” (Psalm 23: 1)

How often do I recite this favorite Psalm without really thinking about it? In the words of this Psalm, I am loved, cherished, sustained, and led by Him. But am I in reality? Do I submit to His leadership and guidance? When I pray, am I really coming to meet with my Shepherd, or am I trying to meet with God on some other level or in some other relationship?

I’ve been reading through the first few books of the Bible. I’m in Numbers right now, and Moses is leading the Israelites through the wilderness. The spies have just returned from Canaan, and the people have rebelled against God, weeping and accusing God of leading them to the Promised Land only to have them die in battle with the giants of the land.

I read through this and shake my head, but haven’t I done similar things in my walk with God? I want to avoid the wilderness. I want to walk in the green pastures, but I don’t want to travel through the valley of the shadow of death to get there! I look at obstacles and setbacks as though God were sitting far away, arms akimbo, laughing at my struggles; in reality, He is right beside me all the way, waiting to help me overcome each obstacle and gain victory together with Him. I’m looking at the giants, when He wants me to trust Him for the milk and honey He has promised. I still have to face the giants, and the battles ahead– but I don’t have to face them alone. I don’t have to face them in my own strength, my own limited wisdom, or my limited vision.

But here’s what I am learning as I read through this section of the Bible right now:

God IS with me. He doesn’t leave me or give me anything HE can’t handle. But I have to walk through the wilderness. I have to fight battles. I have to face giants. I have to learn to trust for my daily bread– whether it is manna or money to buy bread–daily. I have to listen to His voice; not impose my plans and ask for Him to bless them.

God doesn’t want me wrapped up or caged: He will not take away my freedom to follow (or NOT follow) Him. And when I wander, He may allow me to wander in circles for a while (hopefully not forty years!), but He will still be right there, ready to lead me when He sees that I am ready to move forward.

He will supply all that I really need– water from the rock, bread from Heaven– not because I have the money or resources, I think I’ve earned, but because He IS my provider. He can part the Red Sea; He can destroy Pharaoh’s armies. He can make the earth swallow up those who threaten me and defy Him. I am safe, even in the wilderness, when I stay close to the Shepherd!

He will counsel and correct me. He will offer forgiveness again and again. He will not leave me lost or unable to return to His side. He will be a “Presence” in my life, wherever I go– day or night.

He sees me and He hears me– which is both comforting and fear-inducing. But it is a healthy fear; an awesome and reverent fear; one that keeps me humble. After all, I am a sheep, NOT the Shepherd! I can call out to Him, and He knows where I am (because He is right there, too), and He knows what I need. God saw the Israelites worshipping the Golden Calf even as He was speaking to Moses up on the mountain. God heard Moses as he pleaded for mercy, even in His anger and wrath.

He calls me by name. The Bible, especially the Old Testament, is full of individual names. Not just the ones we study in Sunday School; not just the ones in the children’s stories; but names of the leaders of the various tribes of Israel, and names of the spies, names of craftsmen God had selected to build the Ark and all the items needed for the Tabernacle, and names of those who rebelled. I am not lost in the crowd; I am not forgotten among the many. God knows me intimately– just as He knows you!

Even when my prayers seem like whining, bleating, plaintive “baa-ing”, I know my Shepherd hears. And He delights to hear from me. He delights in leading me through the wilderness and providing for my every need. And His promises sustain me when I don’t know what’s coming next, or I fear what I see on the horizon.

So I will pray today, and tomorrow, and every day, knowing that even my– especially my– “sheepish” prayers are not in vain.

February 14, 2025 0

Do I Serve or “Deserve?”

It struck me just the other day how similar these two words are in English. To serve is to work for; to perform a duty; to labor on behalf of someone else. A servant performs duties for a master; a worker serves his or her employer; I serve my customers as they visit my shop. To “deserve” is to work in such a way, or to show such qualities as to merit reward (or punishment).

Much of our Christian life here on earth is centered around service. I serve at church; “I serve a risen Savior;” even this blog is a way of serving– sharing the Gospel and what I continue to learn about prayer. Praying for others is a way of serving them.

But much of our culture centers around what we “deserve.” Even our service is often qualified and judged as being more or less worthy than other service. If I serve on a board of directors, it is considered more worthy, more deserving of respect, than if I serve as a janitor, a junior clerk, or a night watchman. If I serve in a public capacity as an elected official or an ambassador, I am considered more deserving than if I serve as a humble citizen. We see some positions as deserving of more money, more power, more respect, and more worth.

But that is NOT the way God sees our service. God gives good gifts, not because we “deserve” them, but because it is His nature to give. God sends the sunshine and the rain to everyone, regardless of whether they have “earned” a sunny day or “deserve” lovely flowers to grow in their garden. Similarly, when God allows for natural disasters, they affect both “good” and “bad” people in a region. Occasionally, God will show His divine favor by sparing a group, as He did with the Israelites in Egypt. The Egyptians were victims of ten plagues, while the Israelites, living in the land of Goshen, were spared. But that wasn’t because the Israelites “deserved” to be spared, nor that every Egyptian was “deserving” of punishment. Rather, the horror of slavery and oppression of the Israelites caused God to show His righteousness and His power to save those who were being unjustly treated. (A lesson our world has yet to fully learn!) And God promised Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob that He would be with their descendants forever, saving them from those who would oppress them. But in daily life around us, innocent people often struggle, while “bad” people seem to prosper. Why doesn’t God give us what we “deserve?”

What we “deserve” in this life is the consequence of our sin and rebellion against God’s holiness–and that is DEATH. A God without any mercy would simply allow for those consequences to take effect without any opportunity to repent or to experience His Blessing. God does NOT give us what we “deserve” here on earth. However, He notices our “service”– our desire and capacity to do good–at every level. He does not give higher value to those who serve in positions of power or authority– in fact, Jesus taught just the opposite:

²⁵But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. ²⁶It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,²⁷and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, ²⁸even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:25-28 ESV

Prayer often seems like a humble service– we often pray alone or in small groups. Very few people are praised for being “prayer warriors,” and many pray without anyone even knowing about it. Except God knows. He hears and He delights in our prayers. We don’t pray in order to “earn” God’s favor, or anyone else’s approval. But we pray to a God who gives us far more than we “deserve.” And we serve a God who delights in even the humble acts we do for others. A God who has promised us Eternal life with Him in Heaven! Not as a reward for our service; not based on our worthiness or self-righteousness, but based on the worthiness of Jesus! Heaven is our reward for His great sacrifice. We don’t “deserve” it, but we can rejoice in it, even as we serve quietly and humbly here on earth.

October 4, 2024 1

So Close…

I’ve been reading in the book of Numbers this week. Numbers is not the most exciting book of the Bible. Many of the chapters are about the census, or about further rules and regulations concerning sacrificial offerings, etc.. But the chapters from 11-15 detail a series of rebellions– grumblings against Moses and efforts to return to Egypt. These rebellions happen after over two years after God had led the people out of Egypt. For two years, they have been protected, fed, sustained, and instructed by God himself. His spirit has appeared as a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night throughout their journey. They have had manna and quail to eat, water from the rock to drink, and they have seen the vast army of Egypt drowned in a matter of minutes, while they were led through the sea on dry land!

And now, they are so close to the “finish line.” They are on the very doorstep of the land of Canaan; the land God had promised to GIVE them. All that is left is for Moses to send out some scouts to bring back a report about the land– its cities and farmland, its people and its produce. Those two years must have seemed like a lifetime, but now it would be coming to an end. God would provide a homeland; a place to build houses, raise crops, rear their children, and settle into lives of peace and prosperity.

So what happened? The scouts brought back a factual report. The land had fortified cities, and lush farmland. It was already planted with plenty of fruit trees and vineyards. And there were ancient people groups with mighty warriors. Israel had just taken a census. They also had mighty warriors, and a lot of them! Moreover, they had God’s promise that the land would be GIVEN to them as their inheritance.

They were so close! Victory, rest, and prosperity were so close they should have been able to taste them. Instead, their warriors moaned and wailed like infants. The same people who had vowed to follow the Lord at Mount Sinai, now planned to walk away from His promised prize. They decided to turn around and go back to slavery in Egypt–the same Egypt that God had decimated two years earlier by sending plagues and destroying its army.

Two years of camping and living “on the road,” lost in two hours of grumbling and fear-mongering. And the punishment? Forty years of needless wandering–time to realize what had been thrown away in petty worrying and imagining the worst. Time to regret their reaction and their failure to trust God. Time for God to show them, once again, His ability to keep them safe and sound in the desert places.

And the learning curve would be a steep one. Almost immediately, a group decided that they would “prove” to God that they were ready to conquer Canaan– on their own. But it didn’t work. Then a group decided that Moses was to blame for their misfortune. But they were “swallowed up.” In the forty extra years of wandering, group after group would challenge Moses (and God) and be destroyed from within. Moses, who had already lived forty years in the wilderness tending sheep, would have to repeat the task, shepherding the entire nation of Israel for forty long and difficult years. And even he would fall victim to his own frustrations, calling water from another rock, but doing it “his” way. Even Moses would fall in the wilderness, never getting to enter the promised land.

How many times have you noticed that the closer we get to a goal, the more likely we are to fall short. We sabotage our own efforts, or we rebel against good instruction. Sometimes we just give up a few yards short of the finish. We are just over half-way through the month of February. What goals or resolutions did you make for this year? How many of them have you stuck with?

Here are three things I take away from the lessons of Numbers 11-15:

Look Beyond. Don’t take your eyes off the prize! The scouts’ report was not all bad. Yes, the cities were walled and the warriors were big and fierce. But the walls of Jericho were eventually brought down without a single battering ram, siege ramp, or arrow! Don’t ignore the trials ahead, but don’t let them blind you to the blessings beyond them!
Look ahead, not behind. Don’t waste time living in past comforts or running from past mistakes. God has something better than whatever we’re going through now. But God isn’t waiting on the other side. He is beside us, around us, WITH us right now. He is patient with us. It may take us two years (or forty-two!) to reach a goal, but if we learn to follow God, we will never be forsaken.
Look UP! God’s spirit didn’t appear on the ground around the Israelite camp. He appeared as a pillar. God called Moses UP on Mount Sinai. We need to stop looking back at our past, or around, comparing ourselves to others, and look at God’s promises. In relation to our goals and dreams, we need to LIFT them up in prayer! Daily!

We are so close! Let’s keep going in the right direction towards God’s promises.

February 16, 2024 0

Wealth in the Wilderness

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+16&version=NIV

In Exodus, chapter 16, the people of God are wandering in the wilderness of Sin (literally and figuratively!). They begin to grumble and complain about food, contrasting their current situation with their life in Egypt. Whenever I have read this passage in the past, I have assumed that the Israelites lacked food– that they were starving in the desert–and that their grumbling had some merit. After all, they are in a desert. Their complaints about water make sense. Surely, their complaints about food have the same ring of desperation.

But a few chapters earlier, and a few chapters later, we get a better picture of the true situation of these wandering bands of Israelites. As they left Egypt, they demanded from Pharaoh that they be allowed to take their flocks and herds! This would suggest that they had sheep, cows, and goats with them–meat and milk in some quantity. They may have had other animals as well– chickens, pet dogs or cats, oxen or horses. The need for water was greater– not only water for the people, but for their animals– but the complaint about meat seems to have had nothing to do with actual need. If anything, their complaint might have been about grazing land for their animals– but they never bring this complaint before the Lord. Either there was enough grass, even in the wilderness, or they had brought grain to feed their flocks. And there was grain for bread–just a few short chapters later, God gives directions for the sacrifices– sacrifices that are to involve rams, bulls, and three different types of bread, cakes, and wafers made with wheat flour!

The Israelites have provisions. They have taken enough food for the journey up to that point, and more. They complain, not that they ARE starving, but that they believe they will starve. God answers their complaint by sending quail– enough that they got sick of it– and bread from heaven (manna). The manna continues to fall without fail every day (except the sabbaths) for 40 years, throughout all their moving; in every location and season, on rocky mountainsides and dusty plains.

God’s amazing and miraculous provision should have produced thanksgiving and worship. Instead, the people got sick of the quail, and continued with their complaining and grumbling for an entire generation as they wandered around the wilderness.

How many times do we complain about “needs” that are not needs at all? I find myself worrying about bills getting paid, or the car making “odd” noises, or an aching shoulder. I find myself thinking back to days when I had more money or free time, and far fewer aches and pains. It is tempting to ask God for a return of “the good old days.” But God’s plan for the Israelites didn’t involve pots of meat that came with chains attached. God’s plan for my life doesn’t involve my immediate comfort, but my eternal character. And even in times when I feel like I’m wandering in the wilderness, God never leaves me. I have been poor, but I have not starved. I have been sick, but not left to die alone. I have been lost, but never abandoned.

There is wealth in the wilderness–the riches of God are available to those who will trust Him. Like manna, God will provide what only He can, and enough to see us through each day. He doesn’t promise that we will have “pots of meat” or easy circumstances. Instead, if we open our eyes, we will see miracles of grace, showing us how much God loves us and cares for us.

God’s people complained a lot, but rarely did they celebrate God’s provision or offer thanks. May we learn from their story, and praise the God who sends quail and manna to the very ones who doubt His mercy and love!

February 22, 2023 0

Leftovers

As I type this, I am eating leftovers. I made a big pot of beef stew the other night, and we’re making another meal out of what was left. Some things, like beef stew, often taste just as good (or even better) warmed up again. And it’s very convenient not to have to make a new meal from scratch. We like leftovers, and I am very thankful that we are able to have an abundance of good food. But today’s leftovers started me thinking…

Did you know the Bible has something to say about leftovers? I’ve been reading in Exodus and Leviticus lately, and as God was giving instructions for the Passover Seder, the gathering of Manna in the desert, and the priestly sacrifices, He spoke about leftovers. During the Passover, all the meat was to be eaten on the night of the Passover Seder. Any meat left over was to be thrown away. Several families could share a Passover meal, in order to avoid waste, but the meat was to be eaten in one meal. Similarly, Manna was to be gathered and eaten for a single day (except over the Sabbath). No leftovers! The priests were allowed to eat leftover meat for a single day after the sacrifice, but no more than that.

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So often, the “rules” of the Old Testament seem strange to us– arbitrary and even harsh. But in context, they paint a picture of God that we would do well to study. So what do the rules about “leftovers” teach us about God and our relationship to Him?

First, God knows what we need. We may often plan too much or too little, or use more or fewer of our resources, but God knows exactly what is necessary. And if we are listening to and trusting God, we can be sure that His plans and resources are sufficient!
Secondly, God PROVIDES what we need. Our tendency to store extra food and other resources “just in case” may be motivated by a sincere desire to help our neighbors in times of trouble– there’s nothing wrong with that– but often we are motivated by fear or pride, instead. We fear not having enough, instead of trusting God to provide. Or we pride ourselves on our ability to provide, rather than acknowledging that our resources and abilities all come from God.
God’s ways are NOT our ways. God sent the entire nation of Israel into the wilderness. They had all their animals with them– but no place to plant, grow, or harvest wheat or other grain. God could have ordered them to slaughter their animals for meat, or sent them with huge stores of harvested grain, or led them through areas with gardens and orchards. But instead, He sent Manna and quail for them to eat. He provided in ways that they could NOT.
God’s mercies (and provisions) are “new every morning.” (Lamentations 3:22-23) God doesn’t give us the “leftovers” of His abundance. He lavishes us with Love and Grace. Every day!
God isn’t impressed with my “leftovers.” My leftover offering; my leftover time spent in prayer or Bible Study; my leftover interactions with others, my leftover discipline.

And that brings me around to prayer and giving. Do I give God my “leftover” praise and thanks? My “leftover” confession (after I’ve pouted and argued and justified by actions to myself)? Do I lift up “leftover” requests–those things I think I’m “supposed to” pray about, but not those I judge unworthy of MY time or attention? After all, would I want God’s “leftover,” absent-minded help? Would I want His half-hearted blessing? Do I give “leftovers” to my family, friends, and neighbors? Or mere scraps to those in need?

The other day, I was on Facebook, and one of my friends requested prayer. It was something I felt was a trifling situation, and I scrolled past her post. But then I realized that I was scrolling past an opportunity to join God in what He would do for my friend. It might not have felt like a big deal for me, and certainly it wasn’t beyond God’s ability to work in that situation. Why did I hesitate? Did I feel I had the right to judge either my friend’s motives or her situation? Did I think I could lift up a “leftover” prayer– “God, help _________. Amen.” I stopped, scrolled back and took a moment to lovingly lift her up, and pray that God would intervene in her situation and forgive me for presuming to judge.

Leftovers are not “bad” or “wrong” in and of themselves. They are blessings. But we should not live on “leftovers”– especially when it comes to our relationships with God and others! Like God, let our mercies be “new every morning,” and let us share gladly from the abundance God has given, not grudgingly or half-heartedly.

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February 8, 2023 0

A Few Thoughts About Manna

I’ve already posted recently about Ash Wednesday (see the post from Feb. 15), so it may seem strange on a day of fasting and ashes to be writing about food. And manna doesn’t seem to have much of a connection to prayer– bear with me…

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Manna was, quite literally, “daily bread.” God sent manna each day for the children of Israel as they wandered and camped in the wilderness on their journey to the Promised Land. It appeared overnight, much like dew, and evaporated in the heat of the day. Yet the small “grains” could be gathered and made into nourishment for the thousands of Israelites who had no other source of bread. Manna and the bread made from it were only good for a day (except on Friday, when twice as much would fall so no work needed to be done on the Sabbath). God provides for our needs daily– we don’t have to worry and fret. Jesus returned to this theme often, including the Sermon on the Mount and The Lord’s Prayer.
Manna was uniquely suited for the Israelites in their situation. Manna did not require time to grow, harvest, or prepare. It did not require storage space, as it was collected and used up daily. It did not require yeast, salt, or sugar to be added to it–God designed it to be simple, sufficient, sustaining, and even sweet!

Manna was provided even after the Israelites complained and accused Moses (and God!) of leading them into the wilderness to die. God will not withhold punishment (see what happened in Numbers 11 when the Israelites complained about the manna!), but He will provide for our needs out of His love for us, not as a condition of our righteous behavior. All the people had access to manna, even those who complained or were defiant. If someone went hungry, it was not because God refused to provide– but because they chose not to avail themselves of His gift, or because they refused to accept the nature of the gift.
Manna was consistent. God didn’t send manna one week and raisins the next; God is faithful and unchanging–the manna wasn’t just a nutritional provision, it was a reflection of God’s nature! God gives good gifts; it is our selfish nature that often takes His goodness for granted, and asks for what we do not need.
Once the Israelites reached the Promised Land, the manna stopped. God’s gifts meet our needs– in His way, and in His time. God does not give gifts blindly or absent-mindedly. God knew exactly how much manna to send each day, and exactly when the manna would no longer be needed. He was watching closely the whole time– every step of the journey.

So today, whether or not you are fasting, you can rejoice in the knowledge that God has seen every step of YOUR journey. He will provide for our every need, including the need for forgiveness, courage, physical nourishment, and spiritual growth. All we need to do is look for it, gather it, and use it!

March 2, 2022 0

When God Gives You Lemons…

There is a saying–“If life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” In other words, if your life circumstances are “sour,” you should look for ways to make your circumstances into something sweeter.

Often, it seems like God gives us lemons–even when we pray and do what we know is “right,” it seems like our circumstances get no better. In fact, sometimes, they get annoyingly, frustratingly worse. But God does not abandon us; He doesn’t sit back and laugh at our frustration, or leave us to flounder in chaos with no hope. Sometimes, our circumstances are opportunities for God to make lemonade.

When God rescued Israel from slavery in Egypt, He did not lead them directly to the Promised Land. Instead, He led them through the wilderness and to the shores of the Red Sea. There, they were trapped by the Egyptian army, complete with horses and chariots and trained warriors. But God’s plans were bigger than the armies of Egypt, and bigger than the sea. God made a path of escape through the sea, and used the very same sea to drown the enemy!

What a miracle! But it wasn’t long before the people began complaining about “lemons” from God–the complained about the food, the journey, the scenery, and their leader, Moses. Even when God did many more miracles– bread from Heaven, meat from the sky, water from the rock, divine intervention in battles– the Israelites were still complaining about all the “lemons” in their life, and longing to go back to Egypt and slavery!

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There are seasons in life when it seems like God is giving us lemons–a job loss, an unexpected illness, a wayward daughter, a house fire, civil unrest… Struggles and pain will come into our lives; we should not pretend otherwise, or seek to deny them when they come. And God does not expect us to “make lemonade” all on our own. But He may allow us to be squeezed a bit; He may send the lemons today, and sugar next Monday. He may not give us a fancy carafe and cute little teacups. But He will give us all we need to make lemonade if we are prepared for the task. And usually, He will give us more than enough to set up a lemonade stand and serve others!

Several years ago (2005), I had the opportunity to visit a settlement of Haitian refugees in the Dominican Republic. Multiple mission groups had banded together to provide basic needs– shelter, basic medical services, toilets and showers, etc. Service teams from Canada and the U.S. had come in to build two-room houses and set up a small clinic and school. Donations had come in– clothing, bedding, toothbrushes… Thousands of Haitians had been displaced after a bad hurricane season and massive flooding, and this refugee camp was home to nearly 150 families. Even with the donations, there were shortages– there was running water, but it wasn’t potable. There was rice, but few vegetables and very little meat. Aspirin and antibiotics were rationed, and most of the children were thin, and sad, half-clothed in rags and bare-foot.

In the midst of all this, there was a miraculous donation– of flip-flops! Literally thousands of pairs of flip-flops–brand new overruns: different sizes, but all the same colors and style–more than enough for every person to have a pair. God had given the people of this settlement a LOT of lemons. Shoes were well and good, but the people needed water… The shoes were distributed– there were even a few left over. But about a week later, it was observed that most of the people were still walking around bare-footed. What had happened to the donated flip-flops? Were the people ungrateful? Were they too proud to use the new shoes? Too fearful?

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Not at all! These amazing people trusted that God could help them turn lemons into lemonade. They loaded the flip-flops into large bags, carried them (bare-footed) on their backs into town (the nearest town was nearly 10 miles away, but it was on the coast and attracted many tourists), pooled what little money they had to rent a booth at the beach, and SOLD the flip-flops. The money they made from the sale of the flip-flops purchased five-gallon jugs of drinking water. The jugs were carried back from town and shared among the members of this growing community. As they continued to sell the donated flip-flops, they purchased other small items– packets of laundry detergent, fly swatters, plastic dishes and cups–and established a small colmado (local store) within their own community. When I was able to visit again a couple of years later, the refugee camp was a thriving community– many of the houses had been painted, and had gardens and picket fences, on which clothes were drying in the sun. And while some children were still running in bare feet, many others had shoes. Some of the shoes were ragged and some were mismatched, but the children were happy and healthy. In the middle of the community, there was a beautiful church. Inside, there was a woman sweeping and singing songs of praise.

I share this story because it both encourages me and shames me. In this season of “lemons”– COVID-19 and violent unrest in my country– I have a choice. I can complain like the children of Israel. I can pray for God to take away the lemons; I can beg for Him to send me lemonade. Or I can look around for opportunities to use what He has provided– graciously provided– and sing His praises as I make lemonade.

God, grant me the eyes to see your provision amid whatever challenges I face today. THANK YOU for the lemons you have given me today, and, when I am squeezed, help me to become a sweet and refreshing reminder to others of YOUR Grace and Joy.

July 15, 2020 0

…And I Am Not.

In my last post, I talked about “When God Doesn’t Answer..” Of course, there are times when God seems silent, and I spoke about a couple of times when that was true in my life. God’s timing and wisdom are reminders that He is God– and I am NOT.

I want to revisit that theme for a bit. I was reading the post and realized that I spoke of the waiting and hoping and God’s faithfulness in sending an answer in the person of David, who became my husband. I spoke of God’s ways being higher and better than our ways– and they are. But I left out one aspect of God’s character. Forgiveness.

It is tempting, and I gave in to the temptation, to focus on my feelings, and my positive actions during those years of waiting– taking good advice and making good use of my time as a single to volunteer and serve. But I also did plenty of wallowing in self-pity, of questioning God’s goodness and His timing. I slipped into bad habits that I had to break as a married woman– selfish habits and indulgent thought patterns. And I find myself battling new bad habits, slipping back into depression and isolation, or taking for granted the blessings of married life.

I don’t say this to negate God’s goodness in answering my longing for a husband and family, nor to suggest that God’s long silence and eventual answer were any less gracious and loving. Instead, I want to thank Him for being patient with me, for extending both mercy and grace in His good time, and in spite of my bad behavior.

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God’s mercy and his goodness surround us–especially when we don’t see them. When we doubt His presence, when we accuse Him of not caring, when we pout, and posture, and resent the road He has us traveling. God’s word is full of stories of people who waited– some patiently, some not so much– and people who wandered, and even rebelled. And many of them perished without ever seeing God’s answer or without repenting. But I cannot think of any instance where someone who sought God’s face or His forgiveness and was turned away– EVER. God followed the grumbling nation of Israel for forty years, His anger breaking out against them multiple times, but He remained faithful to His promise to bring them to the Promised Land. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+1&version=NCV God went so far as to remove His Spirit from King Saul, but He allowed Saul to continue to reign, even when Saul tried to kill God’s anointed one and his own son-in-law. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+19-24&version=NIV God followed David from his days as a shepherd boy through his reign as Israel’s king– in spite of David’s sins, in spite of the drama and chaos of his household, in spite of betrayal by his own sons and generals.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+kings+2%3A1-10&version=CSB God chased down Saul on the road to Damascus– after Saul had hunted and hounded faithful followers of the Messiah.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+8%3A1-3%3B+9%3A1-18&version=ESV

God is patient and faithful with us– whether we have grumbled at His timing, or turned our back on Him for a season, or actively rebelled against His sovereignty and kindness.

When God seems silent, we often forget that He also remains silent in the face of our grumbling. He withholds His righteous judgment, giving us ample opportunities to rethink, repent, and return. His silence reminds us that He is God– and we are not. He does not owe us an answer– nor does He owe us a second chance. But He will give us both in His time. Because He is God– in His sovereignty, in His boundless Love, and in His mercy–and I am not. I am not God. I am the (sometimes) grateful recipient of all that He gives.

May I be grateful today, not just for the blessings and gifts and answered prayers, but for the patience, grace and mercy I don’t deserve.

February 28, 2020 0

Jacob the Brother of Esau

The Biblical story of Jacob and Esau has long baffled readers and scholars alike. I don’t pretend to have the answers to some of the tough questions it poses, but I’d like to take a close look at some of them.

Esau and Jacob were twins–the only sons of their parents–born just minutes apart. Yet their personalities, their destinies, and their relationships with God and others could not have been more different.

We spent the last post covering some of Jacob’s character flaws– his early years involved scheming and “cheating” this twin of his. Jacob’s life and actions are the focus of the story, after all. He is the one God chose to establish the nation he promised to Jacob’s father and grandfather. But why Jacob and not Esau?

In many ways, this story echoes that of the very first brothers in the Bible. God chose Abel’s sacrifice over his brother’s. We are not given an obvious reason why Cain’s sacrifice was unacceptable– or why Abel’s was. In this case, God does not give Rebecca a reason why her boys would fight throughout their lives or why the elder son would serve his younger brother. At one point, the Bible even says that God “loved” Jacob and “hated” Esau! So we are left with a big question–Does God play favorites? Does He give His favor capriciously? If so, why bother to worship, serve, and obey Him if, in the end, He has already chosen who will be blessed?

We may never have a full explanation of God’s ways– we are told that they are not our ways; that they are higher and wiser than our ways–but there are several things I want to consider that may shed some light.

God is timeless. He lives beyond the boundaries of linear time, and he sees the end from the beginning. As we read through the story of Jacob, we see his progression, and the changes he makes as he matures and as he encounters the great God of his fathers as it unfolds in time. His beginning shows little promise, but God already sees Jacob as Israel, as the father of twelve tribes of people, as the ancestor of Moses, of King David, and of the coming Messiah. He sees all of this before Jacob is even born! It is part of His eternal plan that Jacob, the cheater, the underdog, the “lesser” brother should become all of these things.
God sees inside the human heart. Esau’s character is not fully shown in this Biblical story, but we get a few clues: 1) Esau despised his birthright– he was flippant about his inheritance, trading it for a bowl of stew. 2) Esau took foreign wives who caused his parents distress–this detail may almost escape the modern reader. We do not tend to live with our extended family, but it was (and in some cases still is) common to the society in which Isaac lived. Esau did not consider his parents when bringing foreign women into the family. They had different customs and different gods. And Esau didn’t learn from the first two wives..when Rebecca commented on the Hittite women, Esau married a daughter of Ishmael, a woman likely to resent her father’s rival (remember Ishmael was banished on account of his resentment of Isaac!) 3) Esau plotted his brother’s death. His anger and resentment over the lost blessing caused him to plot murder. Jacob was sent away, not only to find an acceptable wife, but to keep him safe from his brother’s vengeance. Even though the two brothers later met in peace (Genesis 33), the meeting was filled with tension and the brothers were never close. 4) There is not one indication in the Bible that Esau ever sought the God of his fathers—no mention of him praying, offering a sacrifice, or acknowledging God. In fact, the sons and descendants of Esau (Edom) would attack and fight with the nation of Israel for centuries to come, finally being conquered and forced to serve the descendants of Jacob. https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/the-edomites
God does not “love” or “hate” in the same way that we do. God’s love is universal and eternal. God loves even those who reject, mock, and hate him. So when God says, “Jacob have I loved, and Esau I have hated”, He is not talking about his feelings for individuals (see https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Malachi+1%3A1-5&version=NIV and https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+9%3A6-16&version=MEV). Rather, He is talking about how He shows mercy. Jacob and Esau were real people, and God blessed both of them, and built both of them into great nations. But God showed mercy and favor on Israel for keeping his commandments, while destroying the nation of Edom because of its continuing wickedness. (God eventually showed wrath on the nation of Israel as well, sending its people into exile because of their unfaithfulness!) Even in their destruction, both nations retained a remnant and their peoples exist to this day.

God did not abandon Esau. When Jacob finally reconnects with his older brother, Esau is the head of a mighty army. Esau’s sons became the heads of tribes and kings of Edom. God allowed Esau to prosper and grow strong. But Esau never sought God; Edom never showed humility, wisdom, or reverence–only arrogance, might, and hatred. God shows mercy to those who don’t deserve it, and grace to those who desire it, but He will not allow injustice and arrogance to go unchecked forever.
God’s grace is a gift–Jacob didn’t deserve to be favored; but neither did Esau, or Isaac, or Abraham. Nor do any of us. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+3%3A9-18&version=ESV Not one of us has earned God’s blessing. God chooses to love us even in our sin, and chooses to give us the Grace to return and receive His blessing!

Praise be to the God of Jacob!

June 28, 2019 1

Tag: Israelites