Tag: Jesus Christ

Peace on Earth?

I’ve been exploring some of the themes related to the Advent. But what happened afterwards? There is a curious and violent story related to the visit of the Wise Men– before they found Mary and Joseph and the Baby Jesus, they visited the palace of the ruling King of the Jews, Herod. Herod was intensely curious about the baby– when and where the prophets said Messiah should be born. But unlike the worshipful wise men, Herod wanted to destroy this heaven-sent King; one who could pose a threat to his own power and rule.

Jesus escaped Herod’s plot. Joseph had been warned in a dream, and had taken Mary and Jesus to Egypt for safety. The Wise Men, also warned in a dream, had failed to report back to Herod the information he wanted. In his anger and fear, Herod ordered the slaughter of all the baby boys in the region, up to two years old. This “Slaughter of the Innocents,” as the event is known, seems to come in direct repudiation of the message of the angels at Christ’s birth. There was no peace in Bethlehem as soldiers dragged innocent babies from their mothers’ arms and killed them. There was wailing and anguish, instead.

How could a loving and wise God allow this to happen? It was no unforeseen accident, either. This event had been predicted by the prophets hundreds of years before it happened, just the same as the prophecies about Jesus’ birth. God could have sent angels to protect Jesus from this slaughter; He could have confounded Herod’s plans and stopped the soldiers from reaching Bethlehem; He could have struck Herod dead before the plot could be carried out…so why did He let it all happen?

I don’t have any definitive answers. But I can share some opinions, based on what I’ve learned of God’s character. I don’t think God was in any way indifferent to the suffering and injustice of this tragedy. But I think there are a few lessons we can take from this strange and disturbing incident:

  • First, Jesus came to share a very human fate. Jesus was not spared the indignity of being born in a cattle shed and laid in a manger. His life was not supernaturally easy or safe or comfortable. It was God’s perfect will that Jesus was vulnerable to attack, and in need of protection– even when it meant fleeing His home.
  • At the same time, He WAS fully God, and as such, posed a danger to men like Herod. Jesus, even from birth, had an authority greater than any king or emperor who ever lived. But He did not come to earth to exercise that power over other people. Instead, He came to serve and to pour out His life for others. It was not His mission to overthrow the existing government, or to challenge rulers like Herod. It was His mission to fulfill the Law, set an example of obedience, preach the Gospel, and offer Himself as atonement for Sin.
  • Herod had the earthly power to do good or evil as a ruler. He had the unique opportunity to join the Wise Men in worshiping the arrival of God’s chosen one– an event that had been anticipated for hundreds of years. Yes, God could have forced Herod to bow before the Newborn King, but Herod could also have chosen wisdom over fear. We have the same opportunity to welcome Jesus as our Savior– or to wage war against Him. Jesus invites us to follow Him, but He doesn’t stop us from making the same destructive choices that Herod made.
  • Jesus did not come to bring a worldly peace, but an eternal “Peace that passes understanding.” Even now, after His death and resurrection, there is still war and slaughter, crime and injustice in our world. But, because of all Jesus did, and is doing in and through those who follow Him, we see that tragedies can be redeemed; hope can survive where there seems to be no hope; and death is not the final victor. I don’t understand why these particular families had to face the tragic consequences of Herod’s rage and fear and ambition. But I understand that God is bigger than Herod; and more powerful than all the chaos and pain that he caused.

The world is not at peace today. Innocent people– even babies–are hurt and killed in our world. God knows. He aches for our grief and pain. But He also knows His plans. He knows how the story ends– He knows all that has happened, and all that is happening, and all that will happen. Even in the glory of Christmas, He wants us to know that reality. Someday, Jesus will return in all of His authority and power. He won’t just end the reign of evil rulers like Herod– He will render their legacies useless. He will redeem injustices– even genocide and slaughter–and wipe out even the memory of their grief and terror.

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Then, He Smiled at Me…

The story of “The Little Drummer Boy” is nowhere in the Bible. It is very unlikely that such an event ever took place. Yet it has become a classic Christmas song. I think it is easy for us to identify with the singer– a poor boy who wants to honor the Baby Jesus, but has no gift to offer. What he does have– a drum and the ability to play it– he offers gladly. He asks permission of Mary and she nods her consent. But the highlight of the song is when the Baby Jesus smiles His approval.

At Christmas, we welcome a Christmas card-picture perfect stylized Baby Jesus, who smiles, never cries, charms all the animals of the stable, and merits the singing of angels choirs among the heavens. But we have a tendency to leave Him in the manger, where He can be a tiny miracle; a gift from God, bringing hope of peace on earth, and teaching us to give gifts and celebrate life.

Somewhere along the way, our picture of Jesus tends to change. The adult Jesus is kind, wise, compassionate, and even passionate– but He is a man of sorrows. This is not “wrong” theology– the Bible describes Him as a man of sorrows; one who was despised and rejected by His own people, and condemned to die by those He came to save (see Isaiah 53). But we don’t tend to think of Jesus smiling, His eyes crinkled in a grin, dimples appearing as He delights in sharing time with us. Yet this is also Biblical (see Zephaniah 3:17).

What an amazing image– Jesus, a radiant smile on His face as He listens to our prayers; a grin of delight as we speak words of encouragement to our family members and joyful greetings to those we meet throughout the day! Jesus smiling as we take out the garbage (without grumbling!); Jesus laughing along with us as we share treasured memories (or make new ones) with our kids; Jesus listening to our confession and responding with a warm smile of forgiveness and compassion; Jesus smiling as we sing along (maybe even a little off-tune) with one of our favorite songs on the radio, or tap our fingers on the steering wheel, or bob our head along with the rhythm, oblivious to onlookers!

We pray to the very Lord of the Universe– but He is not a stern and joyless God. Jesus wept while He was on earth (John 11:35)–but He also laughed, and ate, and hugged, and sang, and ran, and danced for joy! And He is no less joyful in Heaven as He watches over us. He delights in our smallest triumphs. He cheers us on in our battles every bit as enthusiastically as a fan cheering on his favorite sportsperson. And when we stumble, He is there with the kind of smile that welcomes us to get up and fall into His arms.

There is only one thing we must do to experience His radiant and glorious smile– “Come!”

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Imperfect Parents

When I was very young, I liked to believe that my parents were perfect– at least as close to perfect as people could be. When I was a teen, I realized that my parents were NOT perfect. In fact, it seemed that I knew much better than they did, and much more as well! With time, I’ve come to realize that they did the very best they could with what they had and what they knew. They were never perfect, but they were good parents, and I’m very thankful for them.

Jesus had imperfect human parents. Mary, though chosen by God to bear the Savior of the World, was not chosen because she was already perfect. But she was willing, and she was obedient. She did not become perfectly righteous in her own obedience, though. Jesus was HER Savior, too! Mary and Joseph did the best they could with what they had and with what they knew. But they still managed to “misplace” their own son at least once that we know of (see Luke 2:41-52). Such an incident today might be grounds for Jesus to be removed from his home and placed in foster care. Jesus had very good earthly parents, but even they made mistakes.

But Jesus also had a Heavenly (and perfect) Father– God. Jesus was both the Son of God and the Son of Man– completely Divine, and completely human.

As we travel through the Advent season, it is good to remember that the same Jesus who called on His perfect Father, is the same Jesus who taught us to pray, “Our Father.” Not all of us have had “nearly” perfect human parents, but ALL of us can call on a perfect Father in Heaven. Jesus came to earth, not just to die for our sins, but to show us how to relate to this Divine and Holy Father. We can call on Him in our need; we can call on Him with our sorrows and agonies, as Jesus did in the Garden; we can call on Him when we are alone; we can call on Him in a crowd; we can listen and obey His voice; we can please Him! We can trust in God’s faithfulness through every moment of every day, every step in our journey, and every valley we must face.

Jesus wasn’t created, as we were– He was “begotten” of the Father–“born of” the Father, in the way we are born of our parents’ DNA. (see John 3:16, John 1:18, and Psalm 2:7) And this relationship is eternally existing– “Ere the Worlds began to be” and throughout all of time. It is not a relationship that can ever be dissolved or altered. Jesus will never “become the parent,” nor will God cease to be the Father. Though He is equal in divinity and power, and equally worthy of our praise, Jesus will always act in accordance with the Father’s will– never against it or in His own separate motivation.

It is difficult to understand, that Jesus always exists, yet He was “born” at a particular time in history and “lived” only 33 years as “one of us.” We see time as being linear– everything has a “season” or a time of beginning and end. Not so with Jesus. As a human, He had an experience of “life” similar to ours– days and nights, weeks and months, festivals and birthdays, growth spurts and hormones, toothaches and hugs and laughing so hard His sides ached.

The Advent of the Christ was not the “beginning” of the Christ–only His arrival at that particular experience in time as we know it. Yet this arrival was so unique, so miraculous, so spectacular, that all of our human time is divided into “before” and “after” that single event. We don’t divide time by human achievement (i.e. Before the moon landing/after the moon landing or before the invention of the printing press, etc.) or by natural phenomena (before the last Ice Age or after the eruption of Vesuvius). Time centers on the single act of God’s begotten son arriving as a helpless baby in the middle of an otherwise ordinary night.

Mary and Joseph were mere mortals, ordinary human parents entrusted with fostering and caring for the very incarnation of their Divine Creator. They were imperfect. But they were guided, empowered, and held fast by the very God growing up as a child in their midst.

And when they “misplaced” their son? He was, as expected, not “lost,” but merely visiting His “Father’s house.” He could not have been safer. They need never have worried or felt ashamed.

This season can be difficult for families– some of us have hurtful memories of our childhood with imperfect parents. Some of us are overwhelmed by guilt or frustration as the imperfect parents of our own children. May this season bring us renewed hope and joy in our unshakeable, unbreakable relationship to our perfect Heavenly Father, through the gift of His only Begotten Son. We can rejoice and feel secure– Evermore and Evermore!

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On a Cold Winter’s Night…

One of the great classic Christmas carols, “The First Noel,” describes the night of Christ’s birth as a “cold winter’s night, that was so deep.”

It is dreamy and dramatic to think of Jesus coming into a cold, dark, dreary (and even snowy) world, bringing angels, glorious stars, kings bearing expensive gifts, and joyous songs.

We tend to look at Advent as a time of darkness and silence, in anticipation of the coming light and the Gospel. The idea that the world before the Birth of the Savior was cold continues the pattern of absence. Darkness does not exist independently. Neither does silence or cold. Each is the absence of something else– Light, sound, warmth–and it can only be known by the degree to which its opposite is reduced, distant, or absent.
In contrast, the light, sound, or warmth is made more evident in contrast with its opposite–we may not notice a slight difference in lighting on a sunny day, or a slight difference in temperature; but a candle in a dark room, or a whisper in a silent auditorium has a dramatic effect.

We don’t actually know the exact date of Jesus’ birth, and while December falls during winter, that doesn’t always mean a cold night in every part of the world. If shepherds were watching their flocks in fields just outside of Bethlehem, it is not likely that the temperatures were below freezing, or that there was snow and ice all around. The Middle East is not known for icy winters, after all. Nighttime generally brings colder temperatures, and it may be close to freezing by the middle of the night if you have no fire or protection from the wind, but a “cold winter’s night” is more likely to be found in Minnesota or Finland, not in Bethlehem, and usually in the middle of winter– January– rather than the beginning of the season.

However, just like the darkness and silence, the cold of that first Christmas was spiritual in nature. (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+1%3A9-12&version=ESV). Jesus entered a frigid world– a world of closed-off people, suspicious, oppressed, angry, sick, and world-weary. Hatred can be cold, but colder still is apathy and disdain and hopelessness. The world of Advent is a world desperate for the light and heat and sound of God’s love– not because God is absent, but because people have moved so far away from Him. The light becomes dimmer, the songs become a series of indistinct noises, and the cold and damp of night creep into our souls. Today, even with the hope and light of the Gospel story, we take our focus off of the true light of the world, and the true source of warmth and love, and too often focus on the lesser warmth of a new jacket, or the glittering lights of a shopping center, or the strident sounds of greed and envy.

Jesus may not have come in the cold of midwinter. But He came into a world of cold hearts as a helpless baby in a strange and unwelcoming land. And he was wrapped in rags and placed in a feeding trough– the warmest place that could be found. But even in this tiny, shivering baby, there was the warmth of Pure Love. And it was felt by all who came in contact with Him– shepherds rejoiced, Mary pondered, Wise Men knelt in adoration.

I love seeing candles and firesides at Christmas time– I love coming into a warm house, full of laughter and love, or singing carols on a cold night, and being invited inside to share the warmth. I love fellowship at church, and sharing a hug and a smile with those I meet. Imagine the warmth of God with us–All of the warmth and life of being wrapped in the arms of Grace, and held by the nail-scarred hands, never to be cold or alone ever again. Can you feel it? Can you anticipate it? Imagine passing that on to someone who has never known such warmth…on a cold winter’s night…

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What Child is This?


What Child is this who, laid to rest
On Mary’s lap is sleeping?
Whom angels greet with anthems sweet,
While shepherds watch are keeping?
This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing;
Haste, haste, to bring Him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.
Why lies He in such mean estate,
Where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christians, fear, for sinners here
The silent Word is pleading.
Nails, spear shall pierce Him through,
The cross be borne for me, for you;
Hail, hail the Word made flesh,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.
So bring Him incense, gold, and myrrh,
Come peasant, king to own Him;
The King of kings salvation brings,
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.
Raise, raise a song on high,
The virgin sings her lullaby;
Joy, joy for Christ is born,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

Words by William C. Dix

No other name in all history elicits such differing and intense responses.  Jesus, the son of Mary
Jesus, the Son of God
Jesus, the Son of Man
Jesus, the Son of David
Jesus, the Christ
Jesus, the Messiah

Who is this child– ruler of the universe,
Laid in a feeding stall,
In a simple stable,
In a small town,
In a captive land?
Son of a carpenter (illegitimate, by some accounts),
In the royal line of David (but so far removed as to be of no account).


Yet angel hosts sing “Gloria!”
Kings and philosophers travel from distant lands for just a glimpse,
Bringing priceless treasures and humbled hearts,
While the beleaguered puppet king of a conquered people 
Prepares to destroy him.

Will he rise to take his place in Herod’s palace?
Will he lead a revolt to free his people from Rome?
Will he bring together rival factions among the priesthood?
Will he …
Die in agony, betrayed and scorned?

This, this is Christ the King;
The Lamb of God.
Savior and Sacrifice.
“The Silent Word”, 
Pleading,
Healing,
Bleeding,
Ascending.
Even in his humble life and
Ignominious death
He rose to change the world–
Stopping time and dividing it into
All that came before and
All that has happened since.

This is Christ the King
Bruised for our sins,
Betrayed by our selfishness
Cheapened by our compromise and corruption.

Bring him incense, gold, and myrrh;
He is more than our tinsel, jingle bells, and platinum charge cards.
He is the King– He is the babe– the son of Mary.
He is the King who will return in all of His Glory!
He is the Christ!

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The Weary World Rejoices…

We live in a weary world– weary of war, weary of chaos, weary of worry, and weary of sin and its consequences. From the time the alarm rings to the time we finally lay down our weary heads, we are bombarded by stress, misunderstandings, distractions, disappointments, questions, harsh words, harsh images, demands, doubts– I’m tired just listing them…

Even so, we are surrounded by promises (mostly false) of peace and rest, satisfaction and success. “Buy this!” “Try that!” “New!” “Improved!” The voices call out, offering temporary bliss, or temporary escape from the weariness all around. “Jingle Bells!” “Happy Holidays!” “Tidings of Comfort and Joy!” It is tempting to let Christmas become just like all the other worldly distractions–shiny, loud, stressful and fleeting, full of promise, but leaving us empty and cold in the end.

But Christmas IS different, because it doesn’t celebrate what the world has to offer. The celebration includes lights and bells, songs and gifts, food and friends and family– but at its heart, Christmas celebrates something “out of this world!” Jesus came to a weary world long ago, and no matter how weary the world was, or is, or will be, Jesus brought all the hope and healing of Heaven in the small package of a tiny infant child in a crowded town in a conquered land.

On that Holy Night, God crashed the party– He did more than watch from a distance, more than speak from the skies above or send angel messengers–He arrived, actively participating in the struggle, the bone-weariness, the hunger and thirst and chill and stress of living among His fallen and fractured creation.

And the weary world rejoices–can you hear it? Above the bustling noise of people shouting, and car horns blaring, and advertising slogans, and piped-in Christmas songs…Can you feel it–beyond the comfort of a warm blanket and hot cocoa, beyond the hugs of friends or the smiles of strangers or gifts from loved ones? Can you see it–beyond the glare of city lights, undimmed by the darkness of hatred and greed?

The lights and songs will fade away, but the Love, Joy, and Peace of God that came to the world that first Christmas is for all time!

“Fall on your knees!
Oh, hear the angel voices,
‘O Night Divine. O Night, when Christ was born.
O Holy Night!'”

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O Come, O Come, Emmanuel!

It is Advent season. We celebrate in four weeks an event that was anticipated for four hundred years! For four centuries, the people of Israel waited for the coming Messiah without ever hearing a word from God. Oh, there were prophecies– some stretching back centuries– that promised he would arrive. But when?!

Imagine praying earnestly for an event that would not happen for another three or four hundred years? Imagine praying into silence for an entire lifetime for an event that even your great-grandchildren would never witness?

We live in a fast world. Fast food, high-speed internet, overnight delivery of packages, instant communication, bullet trains– we have lost the skill of waiting. Yet Advent celebrates the waiting, the anticipation of a birth so amazing and so consequential, that we look back over 2,000 years in wonder!

The birth of Emmanuel was worth the wait. “God With Us” came into the world “at just the right time.” (Galatians 4:4). He was not a moment too early or too late to fulfill all the prophecies and bring Salvation to mankind. Those who prayed faithfully over the centuries may not have lived to see the fulfillment, but they put their hope and trust in the prophets and in the God they served.

We are in another Advent season– we await the return of Christ! We have no way of knowing the exact hour or day (or year or even century) of His return. But with the same wonder and hope of those faithful men and women of old, we should pray for His coming again! We should share the glorious story of His first coming. We should celebrate and worship the Faithfulness of God. He keeps all His promises “at just the right time.”

And as we wait, we must not give up hope or lose our passion for the Mission that Christ left with us. “Go, and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19-20). As wonderful as Christ’s birth was, it pales in comparison to His triumphant return to judge and rule the earth. May we look back in wonder and forward in joy as we celebrate this season.

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Once For All…

Hebrews 9:11-15 World English Bible (WEB)

11 But Christ having come as a high priest of the coming good things, through the greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this creation, 12 nor yet through the blood of goats and calves, but through his own blood, entered in once for all into the Holy Place, having obtained eternal redemption. 13 For if the blood of goats and bulls, and the ashes of a heifer sprinkling those who have been defiled, sanctify to the cleanness of the flesh: 14 how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without defect to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God? 15 For this reason he is the mediator of a new covenant, since a death has occurred for the redemption of the transgressions that were under the first covenant, that those who have been called may receive the promise of the eternal inheritance.

person wearing pair of yellow rubber gloves

Some chores just never end– laundry, trash, sweeping, making the bed, doing up the dishes, mowing the lawn/shoveling the drive or sidewalk– the list goes on.  Simple chores, but repetitive and sometimes annoying.  And they are all necessary– if someone doesn’t do them, the whole family (sometimes the whole neighborhood!) suffers.

Today, I’m so grateful for the promise that Christ’s sacrifice is sufficient– He redeemed us completely and forever through the shedding of His blood.  It’s a done deal!  It is FINISHED!  All that the ancient sacrifices represented has been fulfilled in the death and resurrection of the Messiah.  Atonement and reconciliation are available for the asking.  We still need to seek His face; to turn from our sin and humble our hearts before our maker.  But the Holy Spirit makes it possible to lay the guilt and burden of sin at the foot of the cross and walk away free and unencumbered.

person using mop on floor

Someday, even the mundane chores of this world will come to an end.  Many of the tasks we do every day involve maintenance– maintenance of our earthly bodies (hygiene, eating and/or dieting, dressing, etc.), maintenance of our earthly homes (dusting, sweeping, washing, painting), and maintenance of the earth around us (lawn care, neighborhood beautification, trash pick-up, caring for trees, pets, gardens, etc.).  But better by far, the “chore” of cleaning up after our sins and mistakes and emotional scars will be forgotten in the joy of our eternal restoration.

Photo by Munmun Singh on Pexels.com

We live in this knowledge and hope even now– one day we will live in the full reality.  Every reminder, every vestige and speck of sin will be banished, never to be dug up or brought to mind.  Relationships won’t just be patched up– they will be fully restored.  Consequences will be expunged; hurts and damages erased and completely healed.

Once for all–for all time, for all who place their trust in Messiah, for all the breadth and depth of words, actions, thoughts, deeds, consequences, injuries–Once for ALL!

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“Little” Prayers

I was challenged the other day by someone who suggested that my prayers are “too little.” Well, not precisely “my” prayers– I head up a small prayer group at church, and we pray for people in our congregation and our community. We keep a running list of people who are suffering from various health issues or housing issues, relationship issues, etc. We also pray for our church staff, for missionaries that our church supports, for upcoming ministry opportunities and programs, and other seemingly “small” requests. These are posted on a list and shared with some of our church members who are shut in or who want to lift up their neighbors in very specific ways.

I don’t think this person meant to be insulting but I see our prayer group quite differently. These “little” prayers are heartfelt, and I believe they reflect the heart of our Savior. Yes, Jesus offered salvation through His death and resurrection to “whosoever believeth” (John 3:16) throughout all the ages, but in His ministry, Jesus was extremely personal and intimate. Among His disciples, Jesus taught them to ask for “our daily bread” and for simple forgiveness as “we forgive” those who have hurt us. (Matthew 6:9-13) And I think our prayer group reflects that aspect of prayer. So, even though our list may seem “small” as we pray for Ned’s pneumonia, or Clarice’s upcoming CAT scan, next week’s teen outing, or Chris’s continuing housing issue, it is also showing compassion and worth to each individual, sharing in their “burdens” (Galatians 6:2) because God loves each of us without condition or limit!

On the other hand, I think I know what this individual was trying to convey. We are also called to pray “big” prayers. Jesus encouraged His disciples to have “big” faith– the kind that moves mountains (see Matthew 17:20– although Jesus says that even faith as small as a mustard seed can result in this kind of answer!) “Little” prayers can be the result of “little” faith. We pray for God to intervene in ordinary things without asking Him to unleash His power and majesty. God is able to do infinitely more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:19-20) through the power of Christ in us! So are we tapping into that promise, or limiting our prayers to what we think God might do on a small scale?

I don’t think our prayer group is doing this at all. We often pray for peace in the Middle East and in other war-torn regions. We pray that the spirits of Anger, Lust, Deception, and Rebellion will be bound and that the eyes of the lost will be opened; that hearts will be softened toward the Gospel, and that our brothers and sisters facing persecution will be, strengthened, emboldened, and protected/rescued. We pray for Revival and renewal across nations and continents. And we pray that in these “little” situations, God’s love, wisdom, and power will be shown clearly– even to those who deny His existence.

Prayer is a huge topic, and a lifelong pursuit. I was challenged by this comment the other day to look closely at how our group functions; at how I present prayer each week; at how we perceive the calling and responsibility of prayer. In the Proverbs, we are told that “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17) Comments like the one that challenged me the other day are golden opportunities to learn, review, and grow in our daily pursuit. The Church is strengthened when we allow for each member to speak– especially if it stretches our view of things we take for granted!

I don’t believe there are any prayers that are “too little” to bring to God– He delights in our smallest steps of Faith; in our complete and simple dependence on Him. But I also don’t believe that our prayers can or should be limited by the mundane and ordinary. We should come boldly to the throne of Grace– not because of who we are or what we’ve done, but because of the Awesomeness and perfect Sufficiency of the God we serve!

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Prayer and Marriage

As a young girl, I prayed about being married. Most of my prayers were pretty shallow– more about the wedding than the marriage. I dreamed of dresses and decorations, flowers and a shadowy “prince charming” type of groom, whisking me off into the sunset and living happily, dreamily ever after.

The years went by…MANY years! I prayed and dreamed through my twenties; I prayed and hoped through my thirties; and I prayed with less hope and more desperation in my early forties! But my prayers changed as I saw marriages around me. I saw many marriages that were solid, even through tough times. And I saw many “fairy tale” marriages crumble. I saw a lot of heartbreak, anger, and tears, as people who had once vowed to love one another “’til death us do part” fought over furniture and who got the kids over minor holiday weekends. I heard from frustrated wives who felt like they had made a huge mistake, marrying the “man of their dreams.” Some of them compounded the mistake by looking around for a replacement “Mr. Right.”

Instead of praying about a wedding, I began praying about marriage. Instead of praying for “Mr. Right,” I started praying that God would help me become “Mrs. Right.” And I prayed that God would show me what I should do for others during the time that I was single, as well as what I could do for him in a marriage relationship.

Thirteen years ago, I married my husband, David. He isn’t “Prince Charming,” though he can be charming and noble at times. He is, as I am, a flawed human being. David was married before, and he carries the hurt of betrayal and loss of trust from the past. I carry the hurt of being rejected and passed over for so many years. Marriage doesn’t make the past disappear. Marriage is not a “cure” for such hurts.

But marriage is more. God instituted marriage from the beginning for a man and woman to come together in a mysteriously intimate relationship that models what God’s love is like. (See Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31 and others.) David and I don’t exist to “complete” each other. We don’t cease to be our own individual selves. And yet, we are not the same as we were before our marriage. We are more than the sum of our parts– we are ourselves, yet we are one– the Fairs. He is David Fair, and I am Lila Fair, but WE are THE Fairs. And spiritually, we are also one WITH Christ– as individuals and as a couple. We walk forward as One. We make decisions together. We share hopes and dreams, as well as struggles and disappointments. We fight sometimes– not against each other, but against differences or misunderstandings that could weaken US as a couple and weaken our relationship with Christ.

I don’t pray any less often or less fervently now that I am married, but I pray daily about my marriage. I thank God that He was with me through all the “single” years. I thank God that He continues to work in our marriage– that David and I know more about love and faith, hope and fulfillment than we did 13 years ago! I pray that David and I will grow together for many years to come. I pray that we will impact our family as we live out what a Godly marriage is supposed to be. I pray that our marriage will inspire young men and women who are looking (as I once was) to see what a solid marriage involves– that the way we talk to each other, and behave, and work, and live will give hope to future couples, and glory to God.

Marriage and prayer go hand in hand. Prayer cannot guarantee that marriage will be easy–or even than it will survive. Marriage takes two people praying and walking in the same direction! But marriage–and life– without prayer will never be all that God intends it to be.

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