The Lifter of My Head…

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I’ve been reading in the Psalms lately, and one that has really spoken to me this week has been Psalm 3

Psalm 3 English Standard Version (ESV)

Save Me, O My God

A Psalm of David, when he fled from Absalom his son.

Lord, how many are my foes!
    Many are rising against me;
many are saying of my soul,
    “There is no salvation for him in God.” Selah[a]

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,
    my glory, and the lifter of my head.
I cried aloud to the Lord,
    and he answered me from his holy hill. Selah

I lay down and slept;
    I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.
I will not be afraid of many thousands of people
    who have set themselves against me all around.

Arise, O Lord!
    Save me, O my God!
For you strike all my enemies on the cheek;
    you break the teeth of the wicked.

Salvation belongs to the Lord;
    your blessing be on your people! Selah

Footnotes:
  1. Psalm 3:2 The meaning of the Hebrew word Selah, used frequently in the Psalms, is uncertain. It may be a musical or liturgical direction

Everyone has foes– no matter how hard we try to get along with everyone or do right by everyone.  And if those foes are people who should be or used to be close to you, it hurts deeper and more profoundly.  King David’s own son tried to take the throne and have him murdered.  David, who had slain Goliath, feigned madness to escape from his own father-in-law’s murderous plots, and united a kingdom, still fled in terror from his arrogant and foolish son.  Even when God rescued him from this foe, David wept and mourned for his rebellious son– to the point of discouraging the very men who had come to his aid!

But, as David did so well and so often, in the midst of his trouble, he turned first to the Lord who ruled his heart.  I love the names he gives God in this Psalm—You (Thou), O Lord are a Shield about me, My Glory, and the Lifter of My Head (v. 3– emphasis mine).

David’s God is powerful, majestic, awesome– but He is not distant or unfeeling.  Thou (used in the King James and other older English translations) is a term unfamiliar to many modern speakers of English, but it is the familiar form of the second person singular.  Many other languages still use this form.  It connotes an intimate relationship, such as a family member or beloved friend.  David knew his God better than he knew his own son.  He loved God whole-heartedly, devotedly, and without reservation.

Lord recognizes God’s position of authority and omnipotence.  As close as David was to God, he never lost the awe and wonder of God’s holiness, His majesty, His power, and His wisdom.  God raised David from shepherd boy to king.  David wasn’t perfect in his obedience, but he was quick repent of his failures, and quick to give God the credit for his successes.

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A Shield— God fights alongside David, protecting him, not patronizing him or removing him from the struggle.  God doesn’t remove us from our battles; but neither does He leave us alone and unprotected, waiting on the sidelines for us to be slaughtered.*  Yesterday, I felt clobbered by circumstances.  I felt crushed and battered emotionally, and I wanted a couch, far from the noise of battle.  But God knows that no one wins a battle from the couch; no one grows stronger, learns to persevere, builds character, or gains compassion from a couch.  God didn’t take me out of the battle, but He was (and continues to be) a shield, protecting me from the real arrows of the enemy– despair, rage, isolation, arrogance, self-destruction–I still feel the force of the blows, and sometimes, I get wounded, but I’m still in the fight, and He’s there with me.  *(One caveat– God is a shield to those who trust in Him.  He does not promise that we won’t be hurt, won’t fail sometimes, or won’t face death because of our faith.  However, He promises a comforter and counselor–the Holy Spirit.  There are many who lead so-called “charmed” lives– lives untouched by trials or spiritual battles…Don’t be fooled into thinking that this is the same thing as being “shielded”– shields are meant for battle– charms are meant to bring luck)

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My Glory— I get chills trying to wrap myself around that thought.  That God, the almighty, the all-glorious light of a million galaxies worth of stars, would notice me– let alone that He would number the hairs on my head, provide for my needs, heed my call for help, and fight alongside me–would create me in His image, so that I am an exact reflection of even the teeniest part of His Glory…that He invites me to know Him in all His Glory after all my failures, and broken promises, and shortcomings, and bad moods, and thoughtless words and actions, my bad hair days and dandruff days and runny nose days, and other inglorious ugliness that I cannot hide… But the best of all, I think is the last…

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The Lifter of My Head–What a picture of God’s compassion!  Think of picking up a newborn baby; how carefully we lift up and support that tiny head– how longingly we cup and shield that fragile face.  That’s our God!  Imagine on the battlefield, a soldier, wounded, parched, having his head lifted gently by a comrade who comes to tend to his wounds and share a drink of water.  Or the prodigal son, who cannot meet his father’s eyes, but finds his chin gently tilted to meet undeserved but merciful smile of his loving Dad.  God lifts our head so that we can see beyond the battle; beyond the pain; beyond the grief, and gaze at the Glory only He can share.

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If you don’t know this God–He is only a prayer away.  If you feel distant from God– call out and ask Him to lift up your head.  If you are struggling (as I have been lately), let this be a reminder to seek God by all His glorious names— He will reveal Himself to you for who He is as you call out to Him.

Blessed Are the Pure in Heart..

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8)

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10)

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I’ve been looking through the Beatitudes and how they relate to prayer. Jesus said that the pure in heart are blessed, for they shall “see God.” Have you ever spoken to someone who wasn’t looking at you? They looked past you, or around you, or down at their device, but they didn’t attempt to make or maintain eye contact. It can be disconcerting, and even rude. And yet, there are times when, with our divided hearts, we come into prayer without really looking for, or at, God.

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At other times, our hearts cloud our vision, giving us a distorted view of God. We harbor sin or guilt, and we see God as unforgiving or unfair. We are holding on to our own will, and we see God as restrictive or demanding.

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The pure in heart see God as He really is– Glorious, Merciful, Wise, and Just. They see evidence of His lovingkindness and faithfulness all around them. They see themselves through His eyes– beloved and forgiven–and they see others through the eyes of Grace.

This is not our natural state. We are NOT pure in heart. We are self-centered, self-absorbed, and self-conscious. King David recognized this profoundly when he was caught in his great sin of adultery and murder. In his own lust and selfishness, he had seduced the wife of another man, and when she became pregnant, David arranged to cover up the first sin–by having the man murdered. David was not a notorious scoundrel. He was even called, “a man after God’s own heart.” But when he was confronted with his guilt, David “saw” himself as he really was– not a victim of circumstance, or a martyr to passion, or a king who was above the law, but a man who had committed evil against others, and against a Holy and Sovereign God.

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David’s prayer was in line with his vision. Not only did he see himself as he really was; he saw God as HE really is: Holy and Just, but willing and able to restore David’s purity of heart. David’s God is the same today as He ever was. He longs to make us clean; to restore to us the joy of our salvation (see Psalm 51:12), and give us the power to pursue our purpose and leave our past sins behind.

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When we desire to “see God,” we must desire this cleansing and restoration of purity. We can pray without it, but we cannot look at a Holy God with an unclean spirit. All we can do is look elsewhere– talking to the wall or the floor. God still hears us, but he wants to have a real conversation; one full of intimacy and understanding.

So, today, will I make “eye contact” during my prayer time?

What Is It Worth?

My husband and I own a small shop. It’s actually a two-part shop, with used items, antiques and collectibles in the front, and amateur radio gear in the back. We have a few “new” radios, books, and other items, but most of our items are second-hand. This sometimes creates a problem in pricing.

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New items usually come with a manufacturer’s recommended price, based on what the item costs from the factory or warehouse. Sometimes, price is based on what we pay at a wholesaler. But used items aren’t coming from a wholesaler or a factory warehouse. Often, we pick up pieces from an estate sale or another shop like ours. Sometimes, we are selling items that were salvaged or even donated.

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So how do we determine a price on a used item? For that matter, how are prices determined for some of the new items that we sell? Of course there are a few guidelines:

  • Basic costs– what did it cost to produce the item (or procure the item)? How much for the materials? Labor? Shipping? Packaging? Also, what are the basic costs of running the store– will the sales of these items be enough to cover expenses like the light bill and rent and miscellaneous supplies as well as covering the cost to replace them?
  • Supply and Demand– how rare is this item? How easily can someone find a similar item at a similar price? How easily can we find more of this item (or something similar)? Do we have “too many” of the same item? Which items are selling “too fast” at a lower price?
  • Quality– some items involve more craftsmanship. Some contain sturdier or more expensive materials–real copper wiring, metal gears instead of plastic, silver v. silver-plate, hand-carved instead of mass-produced, etc.
  • “Aesthetics”–Antiques are often valued for their condition. But it varies from one piece or type of piece to another. Glass and ceramics are more valuable if they are unchipped. Old magazine ads carefully cut out and attractively framed can be more valuable than the entire magazine from which they came. Certain colors of glass are worth more than others. Wooden items that have been repainted, repaired, or refinished can actually lose value over those left in their original condition. Some items sell better with a “patina,” while others do better if they are polished and clean.
  • Ultimately, however, the items in our store are “worth” only what we decide, and what our customers are willing to pay for them. If we are “wrong” about the worth of an item, it may sit on the shelf collecting dust– either because we have priced it too high, or because the price is so low that a customer mistrusts our judgement about the quality of the product.
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Why am I writing about this on a blog about prayer?

We have a tendency to place values on people and situations, as well as items. Sometimes, we think it “isn’t worth it” to pray about a minor problem that we face, or someone we don’t know very well, or don’t think of very highly. Perhaps we think that our requests are too ordinary, or too small, or too chronic to bring before God. Lost keys; that lingering pain in the elbow; the barking dog that keeps us up at night; the sibling that hasn’t spoken to us in 15 years–we wonder if they are worth making the effort (or continuing to make the effort).

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But, in God’s economy, every person–and each moment in each person’s day–is of enormous value! God uses the small things of life to make a big impact. Every prayer that is lifted to God from a sincere heart and with even the tiniest grain of faith can have unbelievable consequences. There are hundreds of examples throughout the Bible, and hundreds of thousands of other testimonies to illustrate this truth The same is true for “big” prayers– the impossible situations– that plague us. War, famine, disease, corruption and injustice are NOT too big for God to handle. Just because they are too big for us to solve (or even understand) does not make them too big for us to pray about, or our prayers too little to make a difference.

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I was reading in 2 Samuel 16 the other day. King David faced betrayal– from his son, Absolem, and also from one of his counselors, Ahitophel. David prayed– almost as an afterthought– that Ahitophel would give Absolem bad advice. And he did! But God also prompted David to send another counselor, Hushai, as a secret agent. At first, Absolem followed the advice of Ahitophel without question, and it seemed to work in his favor. But at a crucial moment, Absolem hesitated and asked for a second opinion. Ahitophel’s advice, according to the writer of 2 Samuel, was actually the better advice. But Absolem chose to follow the clever but ineffective advice of Hushai instead! David’s prayer was answered, and even when it seemed that David’s prayer “wasn’t enough,” God protected David, frustrated Ahitophel, and brought judgment and punishment to Absolem, ending in his death. There is no record of either Absolem or Ahitophel praying at all during the rebellion.

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God won’t judge the quantity or quality of what we pray for, or who we pray for, or how we pray– He values it all. Prayer is truly “priceless!”

What Costs Me Nothing…

We’re coming up to Thanksgiving in the U.S. next week. Many families will sit down to sumptuous meals–turkey with dressing/stuffing (depending on what region you live in), pumpkin pies, sweet potatoes, corn, beans, rolls or muffins, salads, mac and cheese, casseroles, cranberry sauce, and more. Some will settle in front of big screen televisions to watch American football, and parades crowded with giant balloons and marching bands. Some will have modest gatherings with family and friends.

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And the following day– Black Friday– they will rush to malls and giant box stores to take advantage of the spectacular sales. People will buy hundreds of dollars worth of Christmas gifts, all with the satisfaction that they might have spent a lot more if they had not braved the crowds and the 4 a.m. opening times (some will begin shopping on Thanksgiving Day for the “head start.” Others will stay comfortably and safely indoors and spend their money shopping on-line).

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All of this costs money, of course. But for many Americans, it is not a real pinch to celebrate Thanksgiving. And we will say “Thanks,” and count our many blessings. We will also give. Charities and organizations are already taking donations. We can give $10 at the store to help buy meals for the hungry. We can buy small gifts to be sent overseas or to be given to the children of those in prison, or those who are homeless. We can buy coats (or hats or mittens, etc.) for those who have none. These efforts cost some money, too.

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But how much of these efforts comes from true “thankfulness” and how much from other sources– pride or guilt or a sense of duty? For what am I truly grateful at Thanksgiving? Thankful that I have so much? Thankful that I have the power to help others? Thankful that I have the day off to go shopping?

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It is easy for some of us to be thankful and generous–in our own eyes. I can give with the click of a button, and money I barely know I have is taken from my bank account and deposited in the account of a charity I may know very little about. I never have to see the people who are helped, and I never have to see what they have suffered or how my gift makes a difference. In fact, I don’t really have to see whether my gift even arrives where I imagine or does what the charity has promised. Some organizations are more transparent than others, and more reputable or honest than others, but I can feel good just by giving. In some cases, I can “make a difference” without any cost at all– just “like” a certain site, or fill out a survey. I can “give” without even giving!

In recent years, however, I have been surprised by those who have tried to make me feel bad about giving. They are not angry because I have not given, or have given very little, or given to dishonest charities. No. One lady was outraged that I should give to an organization that sends toys, hygiene items, and school supplies to needy children in countries around the world. What caused her outrage? Three things–the toys were “too American”–the instructions were printed in English, or they were “frivolous” toys like jump ropes and “matchbox” sized cars and trucks. Also, some of the boxes and wrapping were printed with cartoon-like children, which she felt were “racist” in their depiction. Finally, the spokesperson for the organization had been portrayed by the media as narrow-minded and “hateful” toward the issue of gay marriage. Her solution: she was never going to give to such an organization. She was urging people to give to groups that were providing livestock, instead. Here, she felt, was a useful gift. Chickens, goats, cows–these were gifts that would truly make a difference. And such gifts can and do make a difference– in rural areas, where there is space and enough grass or other food to sustain such animals. Her gift will have little impact on a child living in Nairobi, or Tegucigalpa, or Kosovo. I am glad she has the means and the desire to give and to help. And the organizations who provide such gifts are worthy–I mean no disrespect to any of them. But giving should be a joyous outpouring of love and thankfulness, of compassion and humility. If that means helping a rural community get milk and meat, that’s wonderful. If it means sending a stuffed animal, some silly socks, and some soap and washcloths to Lebanon, that’s great, too. Even if I don’t like the wrapping paper…

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My point is that a lot of our “giving” has become more about virtue signaling than joyously sharing with others to meet their needs. It costs a lot more in money to send a goat to Peru. But it may cost a lot more in time and energy to spend a day serving meals at a homeless shelter, or volunteer to rebuild in a community hit by a tornado or hurricane. And even though there may be a monetary cost to some of our gifts, in some ways, our “giving” costs us nothing. Not just little or nothing in dollars and cents, but little in emotion or thought or effort. There is nothing personal, or heartfelt, or sacrificial about some of our giving.

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And if that is true of our giving to strangers, what does that say about what we “give” to our families, our neighbors, and to God?

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During the reign of King David, there are many instances of celebration and thanksgiving. But there are also stories of heartbreak, loss, and repentance. In one of these incidents, King David angered God by taking a census. His conscience caused him to ask God’s forgiveness and ask what could be done to take away the guilt. God sent the prophet Gad to give David three choices, but David left it in God’s hands. God sent a vicious plague that swept toward Jerusalem. When the angel of death reached the threshing floor of a man named Araunah the Jebusite, God told him to stop. David could actually see where God had stopped the plague, and immediately went to buy the threshing floor, so he could build an alter and sacrifice to the Lord in repentance and in thanksgiving for God’s mercy.

Read more about the story of David in 2 Samuel 24
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King David had plenty of money. He also had authority, and the respect of his people. Araunah offered to give David not only the field, but the oxen to make the sacrifice. As the king, David could have taken the land and oxen– he could even have demanded them of Araunah. But David paid for it all, saying that he would not give to God that which had cost him nothing.

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In this season of giving, it can be tempting to measure the value of our gift by the monetary cost, or by the value WE receive from giving. But true giving should involve a willing and joyful sacrifice of our pride and our time. Sometimes, this may mean NOT giving a toy or a goat–it may mean giving an apology, or a second chance, or being willing to give up a turkey dinner or a shopping trip, in order to visit a shut-in, or spend some much needed time on our knees.

Having said that, there are plenty of things we can give that cost us “nothing”–smiles, a warm welcome, a listening ear, reaching out for reconciliation, and most of all, a heart-felt “Thank You.” Sometimes, these gestures cost us nothing– sometimes, they are a sacrifice. But they are gifts that really make a difference.

Praying in the Dark

The past few days have been a dark place for me. I don’t mean that something horrible has happened, or that my life has been upended. But things seem dim and indistinct. Some things I took for granted turn out to be less than sure. Events have been chaotic and tinged with evil and sadness.

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I was reading a novel the other day, set in the early days of World War II in London. Because of the threat of air raids from Germany, the people were required to “black out” their windows at night, and drive with no headlights. People who had driven or walked around the streets of London with confidence just weeks before were being injured or even killed because they could no longer trust in streetlights, headlights, or lights in windows to guide them safely home. At the same time, during the day, thousands of people, fearing that the Germans would use deadly gas, were carrying around gas masks (just in case!), and leaving them on buses or at pubs or train stations, because they were unused to the extra responsibility. Suddenly, the gas mask they were depending on was lost, and all the extra preparation turned out to be useless, anyway. It reminds me how often I would see people last year, getting ready to enter a store, only to return to their car for their required mask. The recent upsurge in COVID cases means that some public businesses and services are requiring masks again, while others do not. No one knows if they are prepared; no one seems confident that they are “safe”– even with masks, vaccines, furious hand-washing, and social distancing.

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Hard times and difficult situations can cause us to shift our focus and have to learn new routines–even new vocabulary! At certain times, life almost seems “normal.” At others, we seem to be tossed by every new wave that comes along. It can be easy to lose one’s way in the fog and darkness of chaos and changing times.

The Psalmist and King, David, had words of wisdom for times like these: “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” (Psalm 119: 105 KJV)

Even when things seem dark and it feels like I’ve lost my way, God is right beside me. If I have no other “light” to see by, God’s word will be enough to guide me on. When I pray– even in the dark–God sees me clearly, and knows the way ahead.

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And I needed to be reminded of that this week.

We the People

Yesterday and today mark two important milestones in North America. September 16 is Mexican Independence Day, and September 17 is Constitution Day in the United States. On these days, people in our two countries celebrate some of the great things that can be accomplished by “we the people.” The founders of our nations were not perfect, but they fought and worked and came together to make “a more perfect union,” and a brighter future for their citizens.

All around the world, governments are instituted to protect the rights and lives of people– to protect them from danger, to allow them to interact in peace and safety, and to provide for “the general welfare” of all. But governments– even the best–are run by fallible people.

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The Bible tells a long and complex story of the ancient nation of Israel. Tracing its origins to a single patriarch (Abraham), the family grew to be a powerful nation, ruled first by priests and judges, and then by a series of kings. The nation split into two distinct countries, before being scattered and sent into exile. The story of the nation is chronicled (literally) in the books of 1 and 2 Samuel, 1 and 2 Kings, and 1 and 2 Chronicles. In the books of the prophets, the same message comes from God again and again–Israel and Judah have both fallen into the same idolatry and corruption that doomed the nations they had conquered in former times. Instead of seeking justice for all the people, and providing order and protection, the leaders had become drunkards, liars, thieves, and murderers. They betrayed their allies, made foolish treaties, oppressed the poor and helpless, and celebrated their own cleverness. “We the People” had devolved into “us versus them.” Worship of God had been replaced by worship of a pantheon of foreign gods–worship that involved ritual prostitution and human sacrifice. Family members and fellow citizens were sold into slavery, robbed and beaten, used and abused, and slaughtered–without remorse or fear of retribution. God’s warnings were followed by His justice and punishment, and the demise of both nations, as well as punishment for their neighbors.

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Israel’s story, while very detailed, isn’t unique in history. Instead, it is a case study of what can happen when the people abandon unity and the rule of law for division and corruption. It is what happens when “who we are” becomes more important than “whose” we are; when “we” are more important than anyone else–even God. Israel and Judah continued to be religious right up to the point where they were dragged off to exile. They brought offerings and sacrifices, sang songs, prayed, and memorized scripture. Their leaders assured them that God would protect them and continue to let them prosper as their enemies marched up to the gates of Jerusalem. They had not abandoned the worship of God– they had just added idolatry to it. They worshipped their own prosperity, they worshipped gods and goddesses of the harvest, of war, of wealth, and wisdom. They still thought God was great– but not necessarily Sovereign.

Who or what are we worshipping today? What “new” and additional principles have we added to our own Constitution? To the laws of the land? To our way of being good citizens in our respective countries? To the eternal Word of God? When we hear the phrase, “We the People,” does it bring to mind people who look and live differently than us? Does it bring thoughts of justice and unity? Does it humble us?

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King David, the second, and one of the greatest of Israel’s kings wrote: “Know that the Lord, He is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.” (Psalm 100:3 NKJV) “We the People,” by ourselves, will scatter and fall into destruction, like sheep without a shepherd.

If We Confess…

Many years before he became America’s first President, a young George Washington supposedly chopped down his father’s cherry tree. But young George is not remembered primarily for his action of cutting the tree– he is noted for telling the truth and confessing to the act, rather than trying to cover it up or excuse it or escape his punishment.

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Hundreds of years earlier, King David committed adultery, and later had one of his most loyal warriors assassinated to cover up his sin. But when he was confronted with his sin by the prophet Nathan, David tore his clothes. He fasted and prayed, and confessed everything before the Lord. He accepted the bitter punishment that he had tried to avoid earlier, and he was reconciled to God.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9 (ESV)

This is a very basic tenet of Christianity, and one that most of us learn early in our journey of faith. But it is also one that we sometimes have trouble trusting fully. We find it difficult to confess our “petty” sins–they seem too little; we find it difficult to confess sins long past– why bring them up now? We find it difficult to own up to chronic sins– shouldn’t I be beyond this by now? And we find it difficult to confess that we know what is “right,” and still choose to go our own way. We haven’t been tricked or misled; we haven’t been ignorant or unaware. We have sinned. And God already knows it. God is already waiting to forgive us and to restore to the “joy of (His) salvation” (Psalm 51:12). But we must trust that God is both willing and able to “cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” That He will not continue to hold our sins over us.

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In the cases of George Washington and King David, we have stories of their failures– one pretty minor, and the other catastrophic. But God didn’t leave them in their failure– that isn’t the end of the story! God’s story is always one of redemption and renewal. King David went on to great victories– and even other failures–yet he remained a “man after God’s own heart.” George Washington endured many trials and setbacks, but God brought him to a place of honor, making him the first of America’s elected leaders, and the one who would be the model of limited power for a limited term of service to the Republic.

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God already knows the worst about each of us. Nothing can separate us from His love. Failing to confess won’t change God’s offer– all it will do is prolong our shame and grief, and delay the peace and forgiveness we crave.

My Cup Runneth Over

“Are you the type of person who sees the glass half-full, or half-empty?” Amateur psychologists like to ask questions like this, to determine if others are optimists or pessimists. But what happens when you realize your cup or glass is really full to overflowing?!

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Often, we look at our lives and circumstances with a pessimistic attitude. “I’m stuck at home during the pandemic– I can’t be with my friends, I can’t visit the gym, I can’t go to work..” We think of our “full” lives just weeks ago, and we miss all the things we took for granted– even the things we were complaining about before! And we worry and panic about tomorrow, or next week, or later today! But this is not God’s view. All that we are “missing” right now, God knows. He knows what we need, what we want, and what is best for us to have (or not have) during these days. Even if we are suffering from COVID-19, or waiting and praying for a loved one who is isolated and struggling, God knows. He listens for every breath– even the labored ones; He knows all that has come before this moment, and all that will happen in the next. If our glass is truly half-empty, we need only ask, and God will give us wisdom, patience, strength, and whatever He knows we need for the next breath; the next step.

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Sometimes, we carry an overly optimistic mindset–taking pride in our half-full glass, and not allowing God to finish filling it. We sit safe in our houses, confident that we will survive any threat and defeat any enemy, especially a tiny virus. We don’t need God’s help; His abundance of wisdom and grace. We’ve got everything covered with our half-full arrogance. But this is also not God’s view. God doesn’t want to fill our cup so that we can be smug and self-satisfied. God wants to fill us to overflowing, so that we can bless others, and see the incredible riches of His mercy and love! Some people look like they are “half-empty” from the outside– they are poor, or tired, or weak– but they are overflowing with God’s love; gushing with grace, lavish with love, exuding excitement, and overflowing with joy. Meanwhile, the optimist who is smug and self-serving, may seal up her “half-full” glass, refusing to share her hope and joy with others who need it.

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God is never stingy with His riches. Paul reminds us that God’s Grace is sufficient https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+12%3A6-10&version=NIV, that God can meet all our needs out of His abundance https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+4%3A19&version=NIV, and that God is able to do more than we can possibly imagine https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+3%3A20-21&version=KJV; the Apostle James writes that every good and perfect gift is from above https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+1%3A17&version=ESV . However, we must be open to accept them, and open to share them with those around us! This is especially true when God’s riches may be hidden by clouds of doubt, worry, and fear.

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So today, I need to see, not whether my cup is half-full or half-empty of energy, or money, or health– I need to see where my cup is overflowing with God’s Grace, His Peace, and His Love!

…And I Am Not.

In my last post, I talked about “When God Doesn’t Answer..” Of course, there are times when God seems silent, and I spoke about a couple of times when that was true in my life. God’s timing and wisdom are reminders that He is God– and I am NOT.

I want to revisit that theme for a bit. I was reading the post and realized that I spoke of the waiting and hoping and God’s faithfulness in sending an answer in the person of David, who became my husband. I spoke of God’s ways being higher and better than our ways– and they are. But I left out one aspect of God’s character. Forgiveness.

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It is tempting, and I gave in to the temptation, to focus on my feelings, and my positive actions during those years of waiting– taking good advice and making good use of my time as a single to volunteer and serve. But I also did plenty of wallowing in self-pity, of questioning God’s goodness and His timing. I slipped into bad habits that I had to break as a married woman– selfish habits and indulgent thought patterns. And I find myself battling new bad habits, slipping back into depression and isolation, or taking for granted the blessings of married life.

I don’t say this to negate God’s goodness in answering my longing for a husband and family, nor to suggest that God’s long silence and eventual answer were any less gracious and loving. Instead, I want to thank Him for being patient with me, for extending both mercy and grace in His good time, and in spite of my bad behavior.

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God’s mercy and his goodness surround us–especially when we don’t see them. When we doubt His presence, when we accuse Him of not caring, when we pout, and posture, and resent the road He has us traveling. God’s word is full of stories of people who waited– some patiently, some not so much– and people who wandered, and even rebelled. And many of them perished without ever seeing God’s answer or without repenting. But I cannot think of any instance where someone who sought God’s face or His forgiveness and was turned away– EVER. God followed the grumbling nation of Israel for forty years, His anger breaking out against them multiple times, but He remained faithful to His promise to bring them to the Promised Land. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+1&version=NCV God went so far as to remove His Spirit from King Saul, but He allowed Saul to continue to reign, even when Saul tried to kill God’s anointed one and his own son-in-law. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+19-24&version=NIV God followed David from his days as a shepherd boy through his reign as Israel’s king– in spite of David’s sins, in spite of the drama and chaos of his household, in spite of betrayal by his own sons and generals.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+kings+2%3A1-10&version=CSB God chased down Saul on the road to Damascus– after Saul had hunted and hounded faithful followers of the Messiah.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+8%3A1-3%3B+9%3A1-18&version=ESV

God is patient and faithful with us– whether we have grumbled at His timing, or turned our back on Him for a season, or actively rebelled against His sovereignty and kindness.

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When God seems silent, we often forget that He also remains silent in the face of our grumbling. He withholds His righteous judgment, giving us ample opportunities to rethink, repent, and return. His silence reminds us that He is God– and we are not. He does not owe us an answer– nor does He owe us a second chance. But He will give us both in His time. Because He is God– in His sovereignty, in His boundless Love, and in His mercy–and I am not. I am not God. I am the (sometimes) grateful recipient of all that He gives.

May I be grateful today, not just for the blessings and gifts and answered prayers, but for the patience, grace and mercy I don’t deserve.

A “Ruthless” Lot?

30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.” 33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. 34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. 36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi; he is the father of the Ammonites of today.

Genesis 19:30-38 NIV (via http://www.biblegateway.com)

I’ve been studying the life of Lot, the nephew of Abraham in the Biblical book of Genesis. The last we hear of Lot is a story of incest with his two daughters, after they have been rescued from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

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Lot’s rescue is filled with its own drama and scandal. First Lot begs the rescuing angels to let him flee to the small town of Zoar, instead of the mountains. The angels reluctantly agree to his request. But here we see that Lot ends up fearing for his life and fleeing again– to a cave in the mountains! As his family is fleeing, Lot’s wife turns back to see what is happening (against the explicit instructions of the angel), and is turned into a pillar of salt. Only Lot and his daughters are left from the wicked but prosperous city of Sodom and its sister-city, Gomorrah.

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But the stench of evil and rebellion lingers. Lot is now just an empty shell of his former self–a spineless hermit, isolating himself from what is left of his life. His daughters take control and hatch a ruthless plot to get what their father has denied them– families of their own. Instead of talking to their father, who seems distant and unwilling to help, or pleading their case for justice, they take matters into their own hands. They take turns getting their father drunk– so drunk he is unaware that his daughters are using him for sex–and getting pregnant by him.

The product of this wickedness is the rise of two violent nations who will plague the region for centuries to come. The names of Lot’s daughters are lost to time, but their sons become the ancestors of the Moabites and Ammonites– ruthless tribes who raid and plunder the nation of Israel (among others) over the course of many generations, even though they are distantly related. Time and again, the Israelites will have dealings– mostly bad–with these two people groups.

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The Bible doesn’t give us a reason why Lot did not make provision for his daughters. He seems to have made initial provision for them to be married to men from Sodom– he even tries to warn these men to flee the coming destruction. But afterward, he seems to have lost all interest in the future. Even in the small town of Zoar, there should have been some men who wanted to marry. Lot no longer had wealth and power to settle on them, but they were still related to Abraham, and to Nahor– why didn’t he appeal to his family to help with his daughters? We don’t know the reasons. Maybe he was ashamed that Abraham had to rescue him years before; that he had to be rescued again from Sodom’s destruction. Maybe he was too proud to ask for help. Maybe he was too broken to reach out. He had options open to him– he could have reached out– he could have called on the God of his uncle Abraham. But he didn’t. He could have stirred himself to do something on behalf of his two daughters, but he didn’t. He could have freed them to leave and try to find husbands on their own. But he didn’t. Instead, he became a pawn, yet again, in the wickedness of others– this time within his own household. He became the father of two mighty nations– without even knowing it!

And his daughters, having done this wickedness, did nothing to hide it or repent of it. The names of their sons reek of arrogance. Moab sounds like the words meaning “son of my father,” while Ben-ammi means “son of my people.” If Lot’s beginnings/parentage had been somewhat obscure (see https://pursuingprayer.blog/2020/01/13/a-lot-to-discover/), these boys were clearly labeled as the products of incest and intrigue. The Bible never reveals what kind of father Lot was to his sons/grandsons, but their legacy is one filled with bouts of antagonism, conquest, raids, and bitterness. Prophecies against Moab and Ammon are recorded in Amos, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel, among others.

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In the middle of all this history, we have a bright spark of hope. In a sweet story of redemption and faith, we meet a young woman named Ruth (to read more, visit https://thebibleproject.com/explore/ruth/), from Moab. Her devotion to her mother-in-law, Naomi, and her gentle spirit catch the eye of Boaz, who marries her and rescues her from poverty and disgrace after the loss of her first husband. Boaz and Ruth become the parents of Obed, and the great-grandparents of King David. Ultimately, Ruth, the descendant of Lot, the scandalous descendant of incest and shame, is listed in the ancestry of Jesus Christ!

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Nothing– no act of defiance, no shameful event in your past or your family’s past– is beyond God’s gaze; nor his power to redeem and turn to good. Incredibly, Lot, with all his failures and bad choices; Lot’s daughters, unnamed and guilty of depravity; Moab, father of raiders and betrayers– all of them are in the earthly genealogy of the Savior who would come to die and pay the penalty for their sins. And for our sins. Lot’s descendants may have been ruthless, but thankfully, they weren’t “Ruth-“less! God– though He has the right to reject and despise those who are rebellious, defiant, or just unwilling to follow him– is not ruthless, either. Instead, He watches over us– whether we are living in a wicked sprawling city or a remote cave or fleeing famine, destruction, or poverty–and gives us opportunities to trust His plan for our future and for our good!

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