He Hath Shewed Thee…

Wherewith shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the high God? Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings, with calves of a year old?
Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousands of rivers of oil? Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God…
Micah 6:6-8 (KJV)

“What does God want from me?!” Ask a dozen people this question, and you will very likely get a dozen different (and even conflicting) answers!

Abject obedience? Memorizing a creed or list of rules? Shiny, happy, saccharine sweetness? Sacrifice? Humiliation or self-abasement? Blind faith? Isolation and meditation? Constant repentance and confession? A crusader’s militancy? Your answer reflects your relationship with and belief in God and His character.

But instead of asking a dozen people, you can ask God Himself! The prophet Micah does this, and receives a simple but startling answer– God requires three things: to do justly (or practice justice), to love mercy, and to walk humbly with Him. Jesus also gives us a simple answer in the book of Matthew. When asked by a lawyer, “Master, which is the greatest commandment?,” Jesus replies, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all they soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandment hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40 KJV) In giving this answer, Jesus was referring to writings He had dictated hundreds of years before to Moses (Deuteronomy 6:5, and Leviticus 19:18 respectively).

God is very clear– there is no single and measurable act we can do, no oath we can take, no quest we can complete, and no gift we can give that will, in itself, please Him. There is no magical number of times we must confess, or sacrifices we must make, or rites we must go through to be acceptable. But, as simple as the answers appear, it is impossible for us to meet the requirements on our own. We do not love God with all our heart, soul, and mind– we do not walk humbly with Him; nor do we do what is just, or love mercy toward our neighbors– we do not love others as ourselves.

Even though Micah wrote before Jesus came to earth, he proclaims that God “hath shewed” us how to please Him. His commands teach us His priorities and His character–God values life (Thou shalt not kill); He values family (Honor thy Father and Mother/ Thou shalt not commit adultery); He loves truth (Thou shalt not bear false witness) and Holiness (Thou shalt not have any other gods before Me/Thou shalt not make graven images/Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain). God loves those who trust and rest in His provision (Thou shalt not steal/ Thou shalt not covet/Remember the Sabbath). He is pleased to provide good things; He is a God of Love.

Jesus came to “fulfill” the law– to demonstrate both who God is, and how He wants to help us live life to the fullest. He also came to prove that the law, while good, is not a means to an end for us to please God.

I have a heart to explore this further over the next few days. I pray that what God has laid on my heart will draw me closer to Him, and that sharing it might help others to do the same.

September 4, 2023 0

No More Goodbyes

Today marks 25 years since I said “goodbye” to my father. My mother, sister, and I stood by his bedside at the hospital. The doctors had tried numerous times to re-start his heart. In the process, they had broken his sternum, and each new effort was causing additional pain and putting his lungs in danger of being punctured by bone fragments. His time was running out. We were allowed to come in and say our last words to him, before his worn-out heart finally stopped for good. I held his hand one last time, whispered that I loved him and that I would help take care of Mom. I kissed his forehead, and said a prayer. Mom and my sister did the same.

Earlier this year, I had to say goodbye to Mom as well. My sister and I were with her, and had read her mail aloud to her, as she had fallen into a coma. I was preparing to return home. I said, “goodbye;” I held her hand, kissed her cheek and turned to my sister. When I turned back around, Mom was gone–her oxygen machine was still running, but her heart had stopped beating, and she was peaceful and still. In that moment, I became an orphan.

Death is part of the curse of a fallen world. God is the source of all Life. In a fallen world, we are cut off from our life-source. Our mortal bodies must taste death. It is the consequence of Sin– our sin, and the sins of others. Disease, violence, aging, disasters, grieving, work, abuse– all conspire to drain the life out of our bodies. Life is a gift– we can’t “earn” it, and we can’t “hold on” to it indefinitely. Nor can we hold on to the lives of others–even those we love. Some day, I will lose my sister. Or she will lose me. Some day, I will lose, or be lost to my husband, my brother, my step-children, mother-in-law, grandchildren, cousins, friends, and neighbors.

And, just like leaves on the trees later this month, all of us will grow old, be changed, and fall into decay. Some will fall gently; others will be torn away by the winds of war, or crime, or cancer, or accidents. Some will fall early; others will cling to life until the last moment, but all will eventually die. More goodbyes. More grieving. More death.

But. God is the author of Life, not Death.

Death is not the end for those who have trusted their souls to God. Our bodies must still taste death. We must still say, “Goodbye” to those we love on earth. But our goodbyes are tempered with the promise that the One who conquered Death did so for US. Because Jesus was willing to die and able to rise again, we will also live again. And THIS life will be untainted and eternal. No more goodbyes. No more grieving and separation. No more fear of an unknown future that includes death. No more waiting. No more living without a father. Our Heavenly Father will never leave, never die, never suffer the ravages of age or disease, never fall. In fact, Jesus never said “Goodbye” to His disciples– it wasn’t in His vocabulary! He said that He would “Go to prepare a place…(John 14:2-3)”, and He charged His disciples to “Go into all the world…(Mark 16:15)” But He never said, “Goodbye!”

I had to say, “Goodbye,” to my wonderful parents. And I have the joy of knowing that our “goodbyes” are temporary. That I will see them again, even as I will see my Heavenly Father someday. So, while today holds in it the sadness of watching my Dad suffer in his last minutes of earthly life, it also holds the promise of reunion and restoration. My Dad will never again have to suffer; neither will my Mom. My future probably holds a few more “goodbyes.” But it also holds “Hello!” “Welcome Home!” and “I’m so happy to see you again!”

I thank God for the lives of both my parents– for their testimonies of faith, for their good examples, and for the wisdom, laughter, and love they shared. And I thank God that their deaths were not the end of that love and joy. In fact, it will be even better to share someday what we could never have here on earth–eternal peace and freedom from grief and loss.

Twenty-five years seems like a long time, but it is a drop in the bucket of time, and nothing in light of eternity. That truth brings me great comfort as I face today. I hope you will be encouraged and comforted as well. Heaven is a place with no more “goodbyes.” And that radically changes the way I say “Goodbye” here on earth!

September 1, 2023 0

An Encouraging Word

It can be a dog-eat-dog kind of world out there. Every day, I hear of people who are facing difficult and trying circumstances– health issues, loss of a job or home, loss of a family member or close friend, depression, oppression, harassment, rebellious or estranged children, abuse, academic failures, exhaustion from being provider, caregiver, etc.– even just daily stress. It can really take a toll. But it becomes even more difficult when we isolate ourselves.

When I get stressed, I tend to withdraw. I don’t want others to think of me as a failure, or to think less of me in my struggles. But this is one of the worst things I can do. First, it means more worry and stress because I’m bearing the burden alone! Second, it forces me to cover up my level of anxiety or depression be pretending that things are fine when they aren’t. That would all be bad enough, but it gets worse. Isolating means my focus turns inward– my problems become bigger, not smaller; I’m so close to the problem, I’m not able to “look outside the box” for solutions, because my box keeps closing in on me. I can’t see beyond my circumstances to understand if they are temporary, or if they necessitate some life changes on the other side of whatever crisis I’m dealing with. And, worst of all, the only voice I listen to is my own, rehearsing and reminding me of the difficulties or failures I’m facing. What opportunities do I miss, not only to hear an encouraging word, but to share one with someone else?!

We all need an encouraging word now and then; a voice telling us that we are not alone; that all is not lost; that there is hope. I have been blessed with wonderful family, friends, and neighbors who are great about encouraging me, even when I try to shut them out or pretend that everything is grand. Sometimes that encouragement comes through conversation; sometimes a card or text message or a shared piece of scripture; sometimes it comes through prayer. I may not even know who prayed, or what words they used until days or weeks later, but their faithfulness in praying has become a lifeline when I feel isolated and overwhelmed.

This does not negate my need to pray and ask God for wisdom, healing, or strength for myself, nor does it suggest that God doesn’t answer my prayers. Instead, it shows a pattern– God often answers our prayers by incorporating and using those around us. God’s goodness and his love are shown best in teamwork. We run the race to win, but we race together as teammates, not competitors. We share sorrows, struggles, and joys. We come alongside; we lift others up, and they lift us up in return.

Encouragement does so much, we sometimes underestimate its power. In a world of sniping, criticism, name-calling, and finger-pointing, encouragement does the following:

It lets someone know that they are seen and heard– that they are being noticed, thought of, and valued. This shouldn’t be uncommon, but in a world where we are connected to so many be technology, and to so few face-to-face, it is HUGE!
It give us perspective to realize that we are not alone in our problems and not unique in facing difficulties.
It reminds us that hope and help are gifts to be shared, not something we must earn.
It gives us a purpose and a mission to be part of God’s redemptive work– Jesus gave encouragement and hope to those who needed it most, not to those who “deserved” it.

It can be a dog-eat-dog world out there, but we are not dogs. We are children of the King. Let’s send out some encouraging words today!

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. (Proverbs 25:11 (ESV)

Also see James 5:13-16 on praying for one another.

August 11, 2023 0

Making the Most of Every Opportunity

^4-5Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!
^6-7Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
^8-9Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.
^10-14I’m glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you’re again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don’t mean that your help didn’t mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.
Philippians 4:4-22 (The Message)

I have been blessed with the opportunity to do a couple of short-term mission trips. I am not a “Missionary” in the traditional sense. I have not left friends and family behind to move to a new culture or live among strangers for years to spread the gospel. I basically took some working vacations, met dozens of wonderful new friends, learned about the work they are doing in their community, and joined in helping them with a couple of small projects (painting, sorting donated clothes and shoes, working in the school, helping organize a library, putting together scrapbooks, etc.) I was able to go back and visit five times over a dozen years and watch as the children grew up, the school added on, the staff changed, and the mission work focus became broader and more community-focused.

Two things about visiting the mission field– you meet amazing people and you hear amazing stories. Some people will become life-long friends. Some people teach you and touch you in unexpected ways, even if they cross your path only on a single day. Some stories make you re-evaluate all the things you take for granted. Some stories leave you laughing or crying along with your new friends. Some just leave you speechless.

One such story happened on my first visit. We went on a “field trip” to see a developing community not too far from the border between the Dominican Republic and Haiti. Hundreds of Haitian refugees had flooded into the D.R., and at least two mission groups from the U.S. and Canada were working to provide housing, healthcare, and schooling for homeless families. Several teams of workers had already started building small cinder-block houses, a couple of bath houses/bathroom facilities, etc. in an area that used to be a sugar cane field. The houses were serviceable, and had basic electricity and running water. However, the water was only good for washing, not for drinking. The houses were close together, with very small plots for gardening, but the land was rocky and dusty. There was a centralized “administration” building, with a small clinic and other basic community services, a small elementary school, and a small chapel. Most of the homes had an electric light bulb hanging from the ceiling, but no other appliances. Meals were still cooked over a small open fire in the main room of the house. Cots or bed rolls took up most of the other room. The bathrooms were in the communal bath houses.

*Not the actual location, but this is not too different from what the first houses were like– very basic.*

I set the scene above so the circumstances are clear. These families were happy to be alive, and to have any shelter at all, but they were not living in luxury, nor were they moping and in despair about their condition. Part of our visit was to bring awareness to what efforts were already underway, and what needs were still outstanding. Medicine was scarce; many of the families had at least one person who was HIV positive, and many of the others had issues resulting from malnutrition and untreated childhood diseases. Jobs were hard to come by– the sugar cane plantations and rum factories had a history of exploiting their workers, and very few other jobs were open to Haitians who either didn’t speak the language or had no work permit/official identification. The mission organizations were not set up to provide jobs, income, or food and water. They were surviving on donations, which were sporadic and usually consisted of non-perishable items like clothes and hygiene items (toothpaste and soap).

Into this scene, the mission had received a princely donation of several hundred pairs of flip-flops. One of the bigger department store chains in the states and an overstock of black and white flip-flops– different sizes, but all the same style and colors. There were enough that everyone in the community could have a new pair of shoes! However, after the shoes were distributed, the administrators noticed that people were still going around barefoot. Very few of the people were wearing the new shoes. Finally someone asked if there was a problem with the shoes.

The answer they received is the heart of the story, and a lesson I have never forgotten. The people were very grateful for the shoes. But their greater need wasn’t for shoes. God had heard their prayers and supplied their need. Several enterprising members of the community had bundled dozens of pairs of flip-flops, carried them nearly eight miles into the nearest beach-front town, and found a spot along the beach where they sold the shoes to foreign tourists. Other groups did the same thing. Using the money from the sale of the flip-flops, they bought bottled water and produce at other roadside stands, carried them back to the community. This way, such items would be readily available while they waited for crops to grow in their gardens or a closer source of drinking water could be found.

On a later trip, we visited this community again. There were flowers, gardens, and two or three “colmados” (Dominican-style corner markets), which had grown out of two or three houses being torn down and reassembled. The community was flourishing. The “administration” center was still used mostly as a clinic and community meeting center, but some of the community members were administrators there. The school and church had grown, and there was now an arts and crafts center; community members were making candles, necklaces, wood carvings, and other items for sale at the beach, where they now had an established booth. God had used hundreds of unwanted, discarded shoes to supply an opportunity for people to work together and build a thriving community. There are still issues– health issues, domestic issues, economic issues– plaguing this settlement. But it is now “home” to hundreds of families who once had nowhere to go, and it is a beacon to surrounding communities, giving hope to hundreds more in the area. And, while some of the community members still go barefoot, most have shoes– shoes they chose and bought and paid for with their own money!

I’ve told this story before, because it is such a strong lesson in looking for and making use of every opportunity. God’s gifts are never wasted on us IF we choose to see them as gifts. Even our abundance– our “leftovers” and “overstocks” can benefit others in ways we might never imagine. And our efforts– even small ones taken in the midst of struggles– will pay dividends when we trust in God to supply our true needs.

July 28, 2023 0

What We Keep…

I’ve been posting a lot lately about going through my Mom’s “stuff.” Mom was a saver– a pack rat– a hoarder, really. She kept boxes and piles of useless things. But she also kept things that have value to those she left behind. My siblings and I have found old photographs, momentos, letters, documents, etc., that bring the past alive again..not just our past, but our family roots going back generations.

My mother with her mom and younger sister c. 1944

What prompts us to keep such memories; to hold tightly to faded papers, worn objects, shadows of days gone by? Sometimes, it is an unhealthy focus on past memories– good and bad– that keep us in the grip of “glory days” or old and festering wounds. But there IS a value to keeping a record of the past.

When I was young, we had dozens of books around the house, including Bible Story books. The stories of Abraham and Sarah, Isaac, Moses, Samson and Samuel, King David, Queen Esther, Elijah, and then Jesus, his disciples, the Apostle Paul…they were mesmerizing– and very instructive! God didn’t just give us Ten Commandments and a list of rules to follow. He left us with a rich tapestry of stories of real people, and their very real adventures. He has given us Parables, and Psalms, Prophets and Promises– the Bible is a living book that speaks to each new generation with timeless truths. I learned about the Faithfulness of God, His Holiness, and His Mercy in those pages.

The stories and photos that get passed down in families can also be instructive. I now have a baby picture of the grandfather I never got to meet, as well as a photo of him as a young man, and another candid shot of him wearing a milk bucket on his head (He was a dairy farmer)! I can see and sense his humor and love of family in new ways, and appreciate the way his life and early death helped shaped my own dad’s life. I have letters my great-grandparents wrote to each other when they were first married and starting their family. I have some of Mom’s letters when she was struggling as a single mother on a limited income. Many of these items I will keep–not only as a reminder of the past that shaped me, but to pass on to future generations. Other photos, letters, and objects have been given to certain other family members– it is part of the legacy THEY will pass on. Still other items I will let go– they have served their purpose and other items will take their place.

The little country church I attended as a child.

It has been tempting, with the amount of “stuff” that my Mom kept, to just throw everything out. Much of it has to be cleaned off, sorted, identified– and room must be found to keep it! So I also have to look around at what I have been hanging on to, and ask, “Why?” What lessons to I want to pass on? What objects tell an instructive story about my life? What impact will I have on others in the years to come?

One of the most difficult things to go through are the photos and letters my Mother kept. She kept nearly every letter and greeting card she ever received. They meant that much to her. Not the actual cards and paper– the thoughts, the love and connection–the people they represent were her greatest treasures on this earth. And I can’t keep them all. I don’t have space, and many of the people are strangers to me– her elementary classmates, co-workers from years gone by, great-aunts–people long since dead and, with my mom’s passing, forgotten by most. But I will keep some, because they are a testament to Mom’s love of others– her deep and abiding love for everyone who touched her life, and allowed her to touch theirs. I have thrown out, recycled, or given away many of Mom’s clothes and books, and I’m working to give away the thousands of unused greeting cards she had stockpiled but never sent. But most of all, I will keep the stories– stories of God’s faithfulness in her life; stories of how He worked in and through her life to touch hundreds of others; stories of how God’s Love blooms in the simple acts of kindness and baby steps of Faith; in the ordinary joys and tears and minor miracles of daily life.

And I will hold tightly to the stories of my childhood– of Moses and the Burning Bush; of Jesus the Good Shepherd; of David trusting God to face Goliath; of the women finding an empty tomb on the first Easter Morning. One of the pictures I inherited is a print of Jesus on the Road to Emmaus. Two men are walking along, talking to a third man. Such a simple act. Such an ordinary occurrence. But this is no ordinary walk– the man in the middle is the Risen Christ–the One who conquered death to bring eternal life to the two unsuspecting travelers. The print hangs on my wall now. The print itself is not of much material value– but the story! That is worth my life– to keep, to share, to cherish, to proclaim to those yet to come!

July 26, 2023 0

A Prayer for the “Slurpee” Babies

(In honor of my grand-niece’s 16th birthday, I am re-posting this entry from last year. I have changed her name to honor her privacy, and I have updated her age in the text,)

Yesterday was July 11. In certain parts of America, it is known as “Slurpee” Day. “Slurpee” is a brand name for a slushy drink sold at 7-Eleven convenience stores around the country. And since we write our dates with the month, followed by the day, July 11th is also “7/11.” Many 7-Eleven stores offer specials on their “Slurpee” drinks all day. And on a hot July day, that’s a great deal!

But July 11th is also the birthday of a very special person in my life. I can still remember the day she was born, and seeing her for the first time. She was beautiful (and still is). She had a full head of thick auburn hair, and seemed delighted to be alive and in the world– and we were all delighted to greet her! I remember commenting that she was a “Slurpee” baby– being born on “Slurpee” day. But shortly after she was born, it became clear that all was not “right” for “Chelsea” (not her real name). Chelsea did not respond to sights and sounds like other babies. And she started having violent seizures. Doctors soon determined that Chelsea had experienced several small strokes when she was in the womb. They also determined that such strokes would continue, and her chances of survival were slim. Immediate brain surgery would be necessary. At one point, the prognosis was very grim– even with surgery, she might be blind, deaf, and unable to control the movement in her limbs–essentially, she would be a vegetable if she survived at all. The first year of her life was a roller-coaster of surgeries and hospital stays, followed by extensive therapy and treatment that continues to this day. But she survived!

So every July 11, Chelsea, and her friends and family, celebrate, not just her birthday, but her life— her survival, her triumph, and her continuing struggle. Chelsea is 16 this year! She cannot walk on her own, and she has trouble talking and using one arm. But she excels at school–she loves reading and music (Yes, she can see and hear!) and she loves anything having to do with animals, especially dogs and horses! She loves jokes and riddles, and loves to listen to her Daddy play the guitar, or watch the dog play in the yard, or spend time with horses at the therapy riding center. She even loves cool treats– not necessarily “Slurpees,” but sweet drinks and yogurt parfaits! Her life is not easy. Her parents still have to help her dress and eat, even though she is almost fully grown. She has to use adaptive technology to write and do her schoolwork (and what an incredible blessing that it exists!) She spends most of her days in a motorized chair. And, like most teenagers, she has “moody” days and gets frustrated–her physical limitations add to that frustration. But she loves life, and she inspires those around her to embrace the positive. She is as welcome as an ice-cold Slurpee on a hot July day– sweet, refreshing, and colorful!

I am writing about “Chelsea” today, because I love her– she is my grand-niece, and my favorite “Slurpee” kid! But I’m also writing because there are many other “Slurpee” children like her who are not alive today, or who are made to feel unwanted and “less than” other children. Chelsea’s health issues were not detected until after she was born. Had they “discovered” the damage she sustained in the womb, chances are very great that her mother would have been encouraged or even pressured to have an abortion. The early prognosis was so horrific, and the struggle so difficult, that it would have been seen as the “most humane” option. Her “quality of life” would have been weighed in the balance, and her right to experience life– even at it’s most difficult moments– would have been invalidated by those who claimed to “have her best interests at heart.” Her parents could have made the choice to put her in an institution, or give up on her chances to live a purposeful and fulfilling life. Instead, they made numerous personal sacrifices, and have advocated for Chelsea’s well-being. And, if you ask them, it was worth it all!

I’m not here to judge those parents who have had to face this horrible choice, or those who have determined that they could not provide the care needed to raise a child with “special needs.” The needs are very real, very difficult, very expensive, and sometimes heart-rending. Most people I know have never had to face such challenges. And even my nephew and his wife were not called on to decide on Chelsea’s fate until after they had grown to love her for the baby she was. And there are days when they feel overwhelmed by the responsibility to care for a child beyond what they had ever planned. But I have also known Chelsea, and other wonderful children with extreme needs, who make the world a better, richer, more empathetic, and more joyful place– not because they are “special needs”, but because they are uniquely SPECIAL individuals! I also know of parents who have opened their homes and arms to foster and adopt children with special needs. Their courage, love, and sacrifice have made it possible for thousands of lives to reach their incredible potential.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

God made each one of us to reflect His image in our own, unique way. And each individual has the power to shape the world around them for the better. My prayer today is that Chelsea, and all children who are marginalized because their lives are somehow deemed “less” than someone else’s, will find strength, hope, laughter, and respect. And that those of us who have had a “normal” childhood and family experience would embrace the joy that comes from LIFE itself, and praise the one who gives it– precious, abundant, joyful, and eternal life!

July 12, 2023 0

What to Throw Away…

¹⁹“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also
Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)

When my mom died earlier this year, she left a house filled with “stuff.” Mom saved EVERYTHING! She saved old calendars, expired drivers’ licenses, used peanut butter jars, all her children’s baby clothes and shoes, graduation and wedding invitations, Christmas Cards, broken cameras, and so much more. She owned a seven-bedroom farmhouse, but she lived for many years in just a few square feet in four different rooms. She slept on half a twin mattress; the other half was covered with boxes. She ate on just a patch of her kitchen table; the rest was piled over with papers and “stuff.” There was a narrow path through the dining room to the bathroom and bedroom. Mom was a hoarder.

Mom was also stubbornly independent, and refused to get rid of things or have others help her throw things away. It contributed to her falling and breaking her hip, and later falling and breaking her leg. We eventually persuaded her to move to assisted living and later to a small house that she could navigate safely. But she would not sell the old house or let us throw away her “treasures.”

Shortly before she died, Mom gave us permission to begin the difficult task of “going through” her house. She joked that we would all hate her after she died and we had to finish the task. We joked back that we would never be able to finish in our own lifetimes! Mom knew that she should have thrown things away. But she had chosen to live surrounded by the memories of broken toys and yellowed letters of yesterday.

Well, the house is almost empty. We decided to sell it, and had to clean it out so it could be shown. The bulk of the work fell to my brother and his wife. They are retired, and they live closest to the old house. But even so, it has taken months, and tons of sweat, to find the floors and walls and windows that were covered and blocked by “stuff.” There are still a few pieces of furniture and some items in the basement, but hundreds of boxes, bags, crates, and containers had to be taken to my brother’s house, my house, my sister’s house, donation centers, recycling centers, and, sadly, to the dump.

We had very few “things” left from my father. His family had lived through a house fire when he was a young man, and he learned early that even precious things cannot be saved. He tried to throw things out; Mom would “rescue” some from the trash and bring them back in! He saved a few momentos, mostly photos, and when he died, he was no longer there to advise Mom about what must be put in the trash. But even his “stuff” was hidden among worthless old shoes and dishes and old boxes.

My Mom DID have several treasures– at least to us. She had saved school papers from our childhood, birth and baptism certificates, photos, my dad’s old work uniform, my grandfather’s Navy cap, afghans and doilies my grandmother made, and several worn and tattered Bibles she had so faithfully studied over the years. And Mom was generous in her own way– she sent out thousands of greeting cards and gave wonderful and thoughtful gifts to her many friends and family members. But she kept broken things, rusty and dusty things, used-up things, and things that were useless. And the hardest part of sorting through over 20,000 square feet of “stuff” was finding and determining what to keep and what to throw away.

Life is a lot like that house full of “stuff. It is full of memories, experiences, hopes, dreams, guilt, fears, relationships, emotions, and disappointments. And we have to make choices about what to treasure and what to throw away. Here are some guidelines I’ve learned through my recent experience:

Treasure the lesson– throw away the bitterness.
Keep the memories– throw away the t-shirt.
Save the relationship– throw away the anger.
Keep the recipe– throw away the container/magazine it came with.
Eat the chocolate–but throw away the fancy box it came in.
Throw away the broken dishes, the worn towels, and the pot without a handle.
Treasure the stories– trash the dusty, musty books (Yes, that’s coming from a librarian!)
Don’t just worth on appearance alone–DON’T throw away an opportunity to show kindness where it is least expected and most needed. There may be treasure among the rubbish!
Use the stationery you got for Christmas–throw away the wrapping paper.
Throw away last year’s calendar– those days are gone. Make space for this year.
Keep your promises–let go of your disappointments.
Hold your dreams loosely– be ready to accept what IS as a gift; what WILL BE as a mystery.
Treasure the empty spaces in your house and in your life– throw away the extra baggage.
Keep space for new blessings–pass the old blessings on to others.
Things can never take the place of time spent with the people you love. I appreciate some of the things Mom left behind, but the real treasure was the wisdom she imparted, the laughter and tears we shared over the years, and the faith she lived out as she loved others.

Mom’s joke about us hating her after she was gone– that didn’t happen. And our joking prediction was wrong, too. It was frustrating to go through everything; it was hard work and it might not have been necessary if Mom had chosen differently. But it wasn’t wasted work. We still have dozens of boxes to sort through, but I am finding small miracles and memories (and lessons!) in each one. Mom may not have been able to judge what she should throw away, but she did know what to keep above all!

I hope I am learning what to throw away, as well as what to give away and what to keep. Mostly, I hope I am learning to let go of the things that might prevent me from accepting better things. God will not always take away the things that hold us back, or bury us in the past. But He asks us to store up our treasure, not in a house or a storage barn, or a safe deposit box, but with Him! Things will break, rust, rot, and be lost. Feelings and thoughts can keep us trapped in the past, and blind to the present and future. But God’s gifts– Faith, Hope, Love, Peace, Patience, Discipline, Forgiveness–these last forever, and never lose their value!

July 3, 2023 0

The Longest Day

Today is the Summer Solstice. In the Northern Hemisphere, it marks the “longest day” of the year. However, today will have exactly the same number of minutes and hours as any other day. The difference is the amount of sunlight/daylight hours, as opposed to hours of night/darkness. And even this varies by where we live in relation to the equator. Those who live close to the equator will see little difference today– those near the North Pole will not see the sun dip below the horizon at all.

In some ways, today is NOT the longest day of my year. One of the longest days for me so far this year was the day my mother died. Even though it was February, when the days are “short,” that day was filled with questions, emotions, and obligations. Time seemed to stand still for a while, as we took in the reality that she had left us to go Home, and then time seemed to expend for all the aftermath of death. Who needed to be called and contacted? What would we need to do in the coming days and weeks to plan a funeral, notify authorities, pay bills and close accounts, etc.? How would we notify family and friends without “missing” someone? Each tick of the clock seemed to bring new thoughts and emotions.

I was thinking about time recently. We are still busy cleaning up Mom’s house and settling her estate. Days seem to pass quickly now, as we have deadlines, and much work to keep us busy. I’m glad for the extended daylight hours, but I’m also tired! Most days– even longer days!– I feel like I’m falling behind. And I find many hours are “wasted” on unimportant things; inconsequential things. Will I spend my time today any differently or more efficiently than any of the “shorter” days to come?

The Bible says a lot about time. (https://www.openbible.info/topics/time) We are creatures bound by time. We have a beginning and an end; we have a limited life span. And we do not know those limits. We cannot break the bonds of time to live longer lives, or to live our lives in the distant past or future. That is the “stuff” of science fiction and daydreams. We cannot bargain for more time, whether we are thirty and diagnosed with cancer or ALS or another terminal illness, or we are ninety-two and long to reach our centennial birthday. Even our individual days are dictated by the march of time. We cannot live our days backward. We cannot stop the clock or stretch out a certain hour over any other. Instead, we must make the most of every minute; every day that we are given.

But we were not created just for one short lifespan. Our bodies will wear out and die, but our spirits were created for eternity. There will be no “longest” or “shortest” days in Heaven or Hell. There will be no sunsets, no endings or “do-overs”, no deadlines. For the Christian, this is a great comfort. My Mom has said her last “Goodbye.” She never has to worry about deadlines, unfinished tasks, or “putting off until tomorrow..” My grieving is over a temporary loss; a brief “au revoir”, rather than a gaping chasm of eternal separation.

But there will be a very different “longest day” for those who do not choose Christ in this life. And that day will be one of endless darkness, endless despair. There will be no sunrise, no rest, no refreshment or renewal, no “tomorrow.” Today, I pray that we would “number our days” in this life (Psalm 90:12), and put them to good use. I pray that I would reflect God’s love to those who are living in the shadow of that endless darkness. I pray that the Holy Spirit might shine a light (through me and through others) that would draw people to Him.

There will be many hours of light today, but the days will grow shorter. The seasons remind us that time on Earth is fickle and fleeting. May we live wisely in this “longest” day of the year!

June 21, 2023 0

A Prayer For Fathers

We are approaching Father’s Day. It is a day of celebration for many people, but it can also be a day of sadness for others. This year will be a milestone for our family, as my father passed away 25 years ago; and yet–we are preparing to celebrate the birth of my grand-nephew’s first child. This will make him a father, my nephew will become a grandfather, and my brother will become a great-grandfather! My husband is a father and grandfather, and so are three of his brothers. We also have brothers, brothers-in-law, nephews and cousins who are great dads. So we really have a lot to celebrate!

Fatherhood– the kind we celebrate– is more than just contributing genetic material to a new life, or claiming a child on an income tax statement, or showing up once in awhile for major events. Fatherhood involves sacrifice. It requires wisdom and patience. It involves ongoing commitments, and the tough love that says, “No” because it’s the right thing, rather than the easy thing to say. Fatherhood requires a man to be a teacher, provider, protector, defender, coach, and disciplinarian. It also requires humility, and grace, encouragement and sometimes tears. In addition, fatherhood requires prayer. No father is perfect, and no father can do all that he needs to in his own power. Fathers need our support and encouragement, our grace, and our prayers.

It is tempting to label our fathers. I have known “good” fathers. And I have known fathers who have abandoned or even abused their responsibilities, causing trauma, anguish, and hurt to their families, lasting for generations. My own father wasn’t perfect, but he was a “good” father. He was a man of humor and integrity, faithful, honest, loving and humble; a man of faith, and a man of honor. My father-in-law was the same. They left wonderful legacies of wisdom, hard work, and quiet strength. But I know of other fathers who have ruined the lives of their children (as well as their own lives) through fear, selfishness, addictions, abuse, anger, greed, and pride. Father’s Day can cause regret, envy, and bitterness in the hearts of many fathers and children alike. Many people would like to forget about their fathers on Father’s Day. Some don’t even know how to celebrate– they’ve never seen or heard from their father; some don’t even know his name!

But Father’s Day is not only for “good” fathers. It is a time to honor those who have been faithful, but it is also a time to reach out to those who need help. Good fathers are needed! And “bad” fathers need to be called out– not indulged or ignored, but held, guided, rehabilitated, or even incarcerated, for the good of their children. Hurting boys often grow up to be hurtful fathers. Hurting girls often end up in hurtful relationships. Hurtful fathers often struggle with their own baggage of hurt and disappointment from past generations, without knowing how to change. Fathers need more than a “day”, a cook-out, or another tie. They need a mission and a purpose; they need respect and forgiveness; they need encouragement and accountability.

My prayer today is that this Father’s Day can be a day of honor AND of healing for fathers and their children. I pray that struggling fathers will be encouraged and strengthened; that hard-working, faithful fathers will see the rewards of their efforts and find hope to keep going; that absent and apathetic fathers will wake up to the challenge and the gift of fatherhood; that broken fathers will find help and healing for themselves AND for their families; that hurting sons and daughters will find the grace to move beyond the pain of unmet expectations and abuse to become better men and women.

All that I pray for is made possible because we have a Heavenly Father– a perfect, loving, eternally wise Father– who loves us through our struggles and our pain. He knows our every need, sees our every tear, and hears our every prayer. He is ready to be our coach, our provider, our healer, our disciplinarian, and our protector. No matter our experiences or how we feel about our earthly fathers, or about being a father, we can trust Him to be all that we need. Our Heavenly Father will never abandon us, reject us, abuse us, or despise us. He will comfort, encourage, uplift, and guide us– now and forever. All we need to do is pray and accept Him for all that He is!

June 16, 2023 0

“I’m Praying For You!”

Each month, I want to give some practical suggestions on ways we can better pursue a lifestyle of prayer.

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

This month, I want to encourage you to let people know you are praying for them. This seems like such a simple thing, and not necessarily a way to improve one’s prayer life. After all, didn’t Jesus teach us not to brag about our praying? Aren’t we supposed to pray in private, not calling attention to ourselves? (See Matthew 6:1-15)

There are four “do’s” and a couple of “don’t’s” when it comes to telling others about praying that I want to emphasize today. Not because I have a perfect formula, but these are things I have found true in my own experience, and I think they line up with Biblical principles:

DO:

When you hear a need, pray about it. Don’t put it off; don’t promise to pray at a more convenient time. Do it now. If that means stopping in the middle of a conversation and praying with someone who is pouring out their heart– do it (assuming that it is possible). Not only is this practicing obedience to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, but it is honoring the importance and value of the other person. (see Philippians 4:6; Romans 12:12; Ephesians 6:18; others…) Showing others that their needs are important and that God cares about their needs is NOT boasting or being hypocritical. Just remember to approach with humility. Don’t be offended if they refuse in the moment; don’t use the opportunity to pray “over them”– pray beside them; pray with them; pray for their needs, not your own virtue-signaling. If you are worried about your actions being misconstrued or offensive in some way, ask first. “May I pray for you right now?” “Would you mind if we just stopped and said a quick prayer about this situation?” They can always refuse to let you pray immediately, but at least they will know you sincerely want to bring their burden before God. Also, if there is practical help you can give in the moments following, don’t hold back. Maybe their need is beyond your ability, but if you can direct them to counseling, aid from a local church group or non-profit, or offer to follow-up, you should do what you honestly can. Don’t promise beyond your ability, but don’t just pray and walk away, either.
The same goes for on-line requests for prayer. Don’t just scroll past someone’s need. It takes three seconds or less to type, “Praying”, or “I’m praying for you.” Again, if there is practical help you can offer, this is an opportunity to do so. There is no need to go overboard– but letting others know that someone “out there” is praying can be an enormous encouragement.
Be specific. Generic prayers aren’t “bad,” but they are often hasty and leave something lacking. The same goes for practical help. One of the mistakes I often make is to say, “If there’s anything I can do, give me a call.” I mean it– I want to help, and don’t know just how. But this puts the burden of asking on the person you meant to help! If you don’t know what to do– say so– but give them something solid to go on. It may be a phone number or e-mail, or an idea of a service you are able to offer–“I have Wednesday afternoons off if you need someone to drive you/go with you to an appointment.” or “If you ever want to meet for coffee…” or “I know the church has a Benevolence fund for unexpected bills and expenses. I could contact someone or give you their contact information,” etc..
Follow through! If someone asks for prayer for an ongoing concern, make a point of checking in every so often. Call, send a note or text, stop them at church and let them know you are still thinking of them and praying for them. This can also be another opportunity to offer practical help, a hug, or other form of encouragement. Often a week or two can be time enough to reveal practical steps to meet some of the smaller needs related to a big crisis or situation.

DON’T:

Say you will pray and then forget to do it. I used to be bad about this on-line. It only takes three seconds to promise to pray or to type a message about prayer, but don’t say it/send it if you aren’t going to act on it. Either stop then and there to pray about it, or stop and write it down where you will see it later and act on it! Good intentions are NOT enough to bring real encouragement and change. And good intentions do not form a disciplined and growing pursuit of prayerful living. In fact, such lost opportunities can become a barrier to our prayer life AND our relationships with others.
Break confidences. If someone asks publicly for prayer, it is fine to respond publicly that you will pray or are praying. It is NOT fine to then share someone else’s burden with ten of your other neighbors or closest friends. It is not fine to repost someone else’s request without their permission. It is not fine to publicize others’ private burdens, confessions, or pain. You may want to ask others to join in prayer, but don’t share details and names. Even if you have permission to share a prayer request, it is not for you to pour out someone else’s feelings, relationships, or struggles. This is another area in which I’ve had to learn a lot. I tend to over-share my own struggles when asking for prayer, and I want others to be concerned, so they will pray also. But it is very easy to fall into gossip, oversharing, and speculation, which has no place in prayer– and no place in my relationships! Share only those specifics that are helpful– “S______ is battling cancer. She has an appointment with her oncologist this week and would like prayer.” It is tempting to give the time and date of the appointment– and S______ may be ok with you doing this so people can be praying “in the moment.” However, she may be concerned about too many people knowing when she will or won’t be home, which might tempt a burglar. She may not want to receive a host of phone calls later that afternoon from people wanting “updates” or wanting to “cheer her up” when she is exhausted. Respect others’ privacy.

We are commanded to pray for one another (see Galatians 6:2; Colossians 4:2, etc.) And prayer is the most powerful tool we have to help those around us. Even though I recommend “practical” help along with prayer, I do not mean to say that prayer is impractical. Prayer IS practical and powerful. It should never be dismissed as “lesser than” other forms of help. But neither should it be used as an excuse not to meet needs in others ways as God gives us resources.

Making a habit of praying for others– really responding to needs immediately and faithfully in prayer– is a great way to experience its power. We will see God working through the prayers we offer– not just in the way He answers in the lives of others, but in the way He will change our hearts and minds about situations, relationships, and in growing Faith and confidence. It will train you to listen for needs, and to prepare to help. It will also train you to see needs in your own life, and make it easier to trust God with the needs in your life. You will find it easier to share your needs with others, and to accept help when you experience how much your efforts (even small ones) can encourage others. It may even encourage you to begin networking with others to meet needs and be proactive, instead of just reacting to needs after they are felt! If you are already strong in this area, be grateful for the way God is using you in the lives of others. If you are struggling in this area, I hope you will persevere. God is gracious in giving us opportunities to grow and serve!

June 7, 2023 0

Tag: Love