“Fruit-ful” Prayers

Our church has been presenting a series of sermons on being a BLESSing to our neighbors. BLESS is an acronym for Begin with Prayer; Listen with Care; Eat Together; Serve like Jesus; and Share Stories. We were challenged the first week to choose four close neighbors. We were to pray for them, and if we didn’t know them well, to reach out and make contact. This has been a true challenge for David and I, because we live in an apartment above our shop. Most of our neighbors are not residential, but commercial! Nevertheless, we decided on a couple of commercial “neighbors” and a couple of non-traditional “neighbors.” We started praying– praying for opportunities to get to know our neighbors a little better, and praying for their health, well-being, etc. We’re getting to know some of the workers at the two commercial locations, and getting to know our chosen “families” a little better. We’ve been more intentional about stopping to visit or chat, and making sure we listen and respond sincerely– this is not just a short-term “project” but an opportunity to build closer relationships. And we’ve been praying for opportunities to develop closer friendships.

So this week was the sermon I’ve been dreading– “Eat together.” You might wonder why this is so fearsome–doesn’t everyone like to eat? And I love meeting over a nice meal. I love to cook, as well. The problem? Our apartment is tiny and upstairs– NOT conducive to inviting people over for a warm, comfortable meal shared around a large table. We have two mismatched chairs around a small table in our tiny kitchen, and two more mismatched armchairs in the living room. No couches, no designated dining room, no space to “entertain” guests. I want to serve others. I want to grow friendships. But I’m not a hostess. Not in a cracker-box-sized apartment upstairs. I know this seems petty– I’ve known amazing hostesses who live in shacks and invite guests to sit on a dirt floor. I know. But I still struggle with the idea of entertaining others in my current circumstances.

I knew it was coming– we looked at all the examples in the Bible of good and even sacred things happening around the table and/or involving food– Passover Seders, Communion, the Wedding Feast of the Lamb (among others)… “But Lord,” I prayed, “I can’t invite the entire staff next door to my home for a meal. And some of the “residential” neighbors we are praying for are elderly and can’t manage the stairs to our apartment even if we had the room to host a meal. And it’s too expensive to invite some of the families or staff to a restaurant. How are we going to be able to bless others and “Eat” together?”

But God isn’t bound by conventional ideas– even when it comes to hospitality. At the end of the service, we were surprised by an announcement from our pastor– one of the families in our church owns a fruit farm. Last year, they had a bumper crop of apples, and they donated several bags of the apples to the church. There were enough apples for each family to take several bags to “BLESS” our neighbors! No meal to fix. No apologizing for the smallness and shabbiness of our living space. But a chance to share FOOD with my neighbors and bless them with wonderful apples! Thank you, God!

David and I wasted no time– we delivered most of the apples yesterday afternoon! And we had so many apples, we were able to bless more than just the four locations we had decided on earlier in the series. We were able to bless at least 13 different families/ businesses with at least one full bag of apples! We blessed families with small children, a retired couple; a single person on a fixed income; an extended family of four generations; we blessed people who go to another church; we blessed people who don’t attend church at all. We blessed the staffs at a couple of local businesses, and shared laughter (and concerns) with several friends, old and new.

Not everyone wanted the free apples. One family turned down our offer. Some people are suspicious of free gifts; some are too proud to accept food as a gift; some are simply not interested, or too busy. It is the same with the Good News. Some people do not want what we have to offer in Christ. Some are suspicious; some are too proud or even too ashamed to believe that God has Good News for them. Some are too caught up in their problems or their ambitions. We must not be discouraged, though. God has not given us such a precious gift without also giving us the opportunity share it with others. And we will see how God continues to work in mysterious ways. Some people were surprised and confused by the concept of “apples of blessing.” They wondered what we might ask for in return. We smiled and said there were no strings attached– we just wanted to share our blessing with them! Some people took more apples than we had planned to give them– that’s ok, too. Others wanted to bless us in return– we received over two dozen eggs in gratitude for a couple of bags of apples! Today, I’ll be delivering the last few bags to businesses that were closed yesterday (to share with their staff). I’m excited to share this gift–and I’m reminded of how good it is to share the free gift of the Gospel!

God didn’t change the circumstances of our apartment. I worried that I would be asked to host an elaborate meal, or that I would miss out on blessing others because of our circumstances. But in God’s economy, we can show hospitality, love, generosity, and compassion on the street. We can share food in a way that opens up opportunities to make memories, share stories, communicate prayer requests and concerns, serve others’ needs, and make new friends. There are dozens of ways we can open our hearts and our lives to our neighbors, serve them, and pray for them…

We kept one bag of apples– maybe someone in our neighborhood would like a pan of apple crisp! And now, David and I have a few extra eggs! Anyone interested?

June 3, 2024 0

Why Say Grace?

When I was growing up, we always said grace before our meals. It wasn’t an afterthought; it wasn’t an affectation. It was just part of the meal. We sat down, said grace, and started eating. Sometimes, Dad did the honors; sometimes, it was Mom. And sometimes, my sister or I were asked to say it. It was usually something simple, though it wasn’t always the same. We would say grace at home, around our own table, and we would say grace at restaurants– wherever and whenever our family was together for a meal.

Today, my husband and I have the same tradition. We don’t have children in the house, but he and I take turns saying grace, and if one of the grandkids happens to visit, they know they may be asked to take a turn, as well. If David and I are eating out, we still take a quiet moment to hold hands, close our eyes, and say grace. Some times, other diners or wait staff will stare (or glare) or comment, but most of the time, they don’t even notice.

So why do we do it? Is it no more than force of habit? Are we just “holier” than other diners? Do we really think it impresses God if we say grace, or that God will be angry if we don’t say it?

No. But we believe saying grace is important. Here are some reasons why:

Grace is about gratitude. In our busy lives, it can be tempting to take things for granted– even things like food and family. We are BLESSED to have food to eat, and family with whom to share it. We are blessed when we go out to eat to have others cook and clean up for us. We are blessed whenever our family or neighbors can share a meal with us. God is a loving and gracious God, and grace is a time to remember our blessings.
Grace slows us down for just a minute to REMEMBER who we are, and who God is! All our blessings– including food and family and time to share them– come from God. Grace reminds us to be humble as well as thankful. It reminds us to see God’s hand at work in even the smallest and most mundane happenings in our lives. And it reminds us that God is faithful in all things, big and small.

Grace also helps us to remember to thank the people involved in our meals– the ability to buy groceries; the work it takes to prepare our food; friends and family who share our meals; neighbors who have given or traded with us for food; the cooks and wait staff that serve us at restaurants. Saying grace helps us SEE how we are interconnected; how we depend on God and on others in every area of our lives.
Grace gives us the opportunity to lift up our immediate worries and give them to God, instead of holding on to them. Grace is more than just a quick word about food. It is a time for us as a couple (or a family) to pray together about worries that are on our minds. Then, instead of being stressed as we eat, we can stay “in the moment” with each other, and enjoy mealtime together! It’s also a great way to share our thoughts, feelings, and concerns in a safe and informal environment. How much better mealtime is when stress and frustration are diminished, and joy and peace are given a seat at the table, instead!

Saying grace is much more than just a quaint habit from a bygone era. It is a vital part of our growth as individual Christians, and as a Christian couple. I believe it is a simple and quiet witness to others. I believe it has benefits for our digestion, our attitudes, and our emotions, as well.

Grace– not just the mealtime prayer, but the concept of Grace– is not loud or showy. It is, however, consistent, lovely, and powerful. May we say grace; may we show grace; may we live in the power of Grace today!

May 17, 2024 0

How’s My Serve?

“Life is so unnerving for a servant who’s not serving–
He’s not whole without a soul to wait upon…”
(Be Our Guest from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast)

Philippians 2:3-8 King James Version (KJV)

³Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. ⁴Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. ⁵Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: ⁶Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: ⁷But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: ⁸And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

1 Peter 2:13-19 Revised Standard Version (RSV)

¹³Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution,^[a] whether it be to the emperor as supreme, ¹⁴or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to praise those who do right. ¹⁵For it is God’s will that by doing right you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish men. ¹⁶Live as free men, yet without using your freedom as a pretext for evil; but live as servants of God. ¹⁷Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.

^[a](or, every institution ordained for men)

man in black coat carrying a rifle walking in straight line during daytime

The English word serve has at least seven different definitions, according to Merriam-Webster dictionary see here, and that’s just the intransitive verb form! The concept of service and serving is often misunderstood and denigrated. Our culture (especially American culture) in general has a low opinion of servants. Value is placed on independence– neither needing service nor being required to give it to others. But service is much broader then “servitude”, and good service requires that we place our value on interdependence, rather than independence.

person wearing pair of yellow rubber gloves

Thanksgiving will be here in a matter of weeks, and we may think of “service” in terms of richly laid tables, fancy linens, home-cooked specialties, traditional recipes, even time spent clearing up the dishes. We want to think of service as something noble, or even honorable. We want our service to be noticed and appreciated!

I would like to “serve” like Serena Williams–slamming my passion at the speed of a bullet train and earning trophies. (And this is not meant to be disrespectful– I am a great admirer of Serena’s talent and drive, and I think there is much to learn from her perseverance and excellence.) But tennis, while fun to watch and good for exercise, does not teach good “service”. No one “serves” in tennis in order to benefit their opponent.

At other times, I want to “serve” like a CEO or a leader– guiding a company, a city, or a nation to greater success, world power, and huge profits. I might even help hundreds of people by creating more jobs and increasing their wealth, or making neighborhoods safer. It might be difficult, and stressful; it might even be cut-throat and dangerous. And I might work long hours to enjoy the benefits– a large salary, my name on plaques, a great retirement package, prestige, power, fame… And I might enjoy the excitement and competition. I might be a leader and a change-maker who benefits millions of people while helping myself and my company or my neighborhood. But in the end, this is not the kind of service that has everlasting consequences, or “soul” benefits. When I die, my power and influence may stretch for another generation, but my soul may be untouched by the actual plights of those around me, and I might gain the “whole world” only to lose what is most important– a soul in touch with God!

I enjoy serving customers at work– helping them find something they want or need, or answering questions. But that’s my job. I get a certain gratification, and a paycheck, that help motivate such service. And, my customers come to me. I don’t have to go out of my store, or even my “comfort zone” to help those who cannot pay for my products or services, or sacrifice my “days off” to help someone at their convenience, and not at mine.

I honor those who have served in the military; those who work in service industries, or provide emergency services. Many have served selflessly and given their lives, willingly, in combat or rescue missions. For every story of someone who has abused their office, or fled in the face of personal danger, there are many more stories of courage, compassion, and sacrifice. Such service should also “serve” as an example to all of us. But even military service, as noble as it is, can be done out of duty or pride, not out of love and compassion.

I don’t normally recommend Disney as a source of moral instruction, but just in the short two lines of lyrics above there is a great example of a servant’s heart. A good servant isn’t reluctantly or resentfully dragged into service. (Oh, there are days or circumstances that are trying and tiring, but that’s the exception, not the norm.) S/he is eager to serve, and even restless when unable to be of service. A good servant is also personal. Their service is not given by rote, but with attention to the individual “soul” they are serving. It’s hyperbole, of course, but the verve and giddiness found in the singing and dancing dishes of a Disney movie should be reflective of the kind of service we provide at work, at home, and at church– “Be our Guest!”

silver spoon and forks beside vegetables

Good service requires a lot, but I think there are three indispensable ingredients–obedience, humility, and love.

As followers of Jesus, we should look to His example. Paul reminds us that Jesus did not seek fame or attention or demand respect or recognition during His time on Earth. Instead, He gave up all the glory of Heaven to become a man– and not just a man, but a helpless baby born in obscurity and growing up without entitlements and comforts; the child of a working-class family in a small town under foreign occupation. He lived as a homeless itinerant teacher, and died as a common criminal under shameful circumstances– naked and bloody, displayed in public, to be mocked and used as a warning for others. But Jesus wasn’t a doormat–he was humble, he was meek–he CHOSE to submit to the pain and humiliation and even the injustice of a rigged trial and a death sentence by mob rule. He had opportunities to grab the glory, to turn the tide, to escape his unfair fate, and/or to become a great political or military leader. He didn’t take those opportunities– instead, he was obedient to the Father. He showed love and compassion even to those who mocked him, betrayed him, and murdered him.

It’s frightening to serve with that kind of abandon. It’s not humanly possible to let go of one’s life with joy for the sake of those who have taken it from you. My human desire is to grab hold of life and get as much out of it as I can. Even when my intention is not to hurt anyone else, it is not in my nature to put someone else’s needs and comforts ahead of my own. But it needs to become part of my nature.

God wants me to learn to serve from the pure joy of service– pouring myself out with abandon to help others succeed– rejoicing with them when they reach their goals; grieving with them in their loss. And, like Jesus, God wants me to do it, not in my own limited strength and wisdom, but in obedience to His will– not becoming a dupe or a doormat to anyone who wants to step on me, but discerning what is best for others and cheerfully doing what I can to bring it about. Giving faithful, humble, obedient and loving service shows my love for others, and my love for God. It’s a joyful reflection Christ– who He is and all that He has done.

That’s a tall order, and it requires that I take time to ask God and trusted friends– How’s my Serve?

November 1, 2023 0

Paying for the Privilege

I read a most astonishing article some time ago. Wealthy white American women are paying up to $2,500 for a meal and a gut-wrenching session about how racist and bigoted they are. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/feb/03/race-to-dinner-party-racism-women?fbclid=IwAR12AvWdTyht5RV0vfBfZ5XUEnA4441GU8efLSX8xtdfePI2R9KEesCipI8 Over a fancy dinner, they discuss how their privilege has (arguably) caused them to ignore and/or deny the needs and rights of others, based largely on prejudices and fear.

I won’t waste space to analyze all that I think is wrong with this scenario– but I will say the following:

$2,500 is a lot of money for most Americans, let alone many others around the world It’s more than most people spend in a month for groceries, utilities, and more, let alone one meal.
Talk is (according to the old phrase) cheap.
If having difficult talks over a plate of overpriced pasta and wine could really solve major problems, I’m shocked that we still have so many problems in the world!

I’m dismayed by this article. I hope that some good comes from these efforts, but I don’t expect such tactics to end racism, bigotry, or ignorance. These women are paying for a privilege on top of all their other privileges– the right to feel righteous and “woke” to lingering problems that have never personally touched them. It would not occur to them to invite 10 women who don’t look like them, don’t live like them, don’t speak like them, and don’t dress like them to come and share their dinner. They would not share their hospitality, their fine china, or their fancy dessert with a working-class woman with olive skin and an accent, or a single mother fighting to make ends meet and losing the battle– of any skin color. They might give another $2,500 to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen across town– they would not befriend anyone who needed those services, however.

Most importantly, they are likely to believe that by “owning” their prejudices for an hour, they are absolved of their responsibility to “love their neighbor as themselves.” They can be comfortable in the belief that their feelings “do them credit” and make them better than others who “are in denial” about their “subconscious biases” and “micro-aggressions” toward the people with whom they interact (or routinely ignore). They may take high-minded actions to force the government to “deal with” people less fortunate than they, but they will take no steps to get involved personally with the families who suffer from injustice and poverty just outside the gates of their exclusive communities.

But another more insidious problem with the article is the way I can choose to respond to it. Articles like this are designed (on some level) to create anger, division, and a sense of disgust toward those who are considered “privileged.” I look at the hypocrisy outlined in this article, and I may assume that “privileged” rich white people are all alike. I may assume that the “problem” is their affluence and their indifference– that if they could be “made to” care more, or made to pay “their fair share”, poverty would disappear, and with it, prejudice and other issues that separate the “privileged” from the “rest of us.”

But poverty, prejudice, injustice, and other issues are symptoms of a much greater problem– Sin. And Sin is a problem that can never be solved by sitting down over a meal or writing a large check or even learning empathy with others who suffer. In one very large sense, we all are “paying a price” for Sin. We live in a broken world, where Sin and its effects are felt by all. Even wealthy, healthy, “privileged” people suffer heartache, betrayal, loneliness, confusion, addiction, and loss. None of us has the “privilege” of being untouched by Sin.

And while each of us can and should be active in helping to mitigate the effects of Sin, we cannot eliminate them. We can never “pay” enough to make Sin and its consequences “go away.” Only the shed blood of Jesus Christ can do that. The real “privilege” in life is not great wealth, or social standing. It isn’t comfort and the ability to shell out a month’s wages for a single uncomfortable meal. It isn’t the temporary feeling of being more “virtuous” than one’s neighbor–and that brings me to reflect on my own actions and beliefs.

What “privileges” do I take for granted? What makes me feel “virtuous?” What makes me feel guilty or ashamed, that I would “pay” to have someone else make me feel “enlightened?” Jesus doesn’t call me to “feel” virtuous. He calls me to follow Him and become more virtuous. He has already paid far more than a month’s wages (or even a lifetime’s wages) to redeem me from Sin’s curse, and allow me to live with peace and joy– no matter my financial or social circumstances! I have the very real “privilege” of knowing Him! And so can anyone else who puts their trust in Him. Through Him, we have riches that cannot be sold, bought, lost, or traded. But they can be shared! I cannot rid the world of poverty, prejudice, greed, injustice, or death. But I can help others find strength, hope, relief, and joy in their journey, as I point them to the Savior. I can’t give a thousand dollars, but I can give a few dollars to a local food bank, or volunteer time to help others. I can share food or water or clothes with someone who is in need just down the street. I can listen to someone who needs a friend, and I can offer to serve where someone needs a helping hand. I can also give the benefit of a doubt instead of harsh judgment– even to those who seem hypocritical or “unenlightened” in their earthly “privilege.”

Lord, my prayer today is that I would pour out compassion– even on the ladies in this article–and on all who need it most. Your heart is that all of us would live in peace and lovingkindness. Help me to see my neighbors as you see them–ALL my neighbors. All the time.

The real privilege is not of wealth or comfort. The real privilege is to learn to love and be loved as Jesus loves– freely, sacrificially, whole-heartedly and without limit. May we celebrate in that privilege today.

January 27, 2023 0

Tag: meals

How’s My Serve?

Philippians 2:3-8 King James Version (KJV)

1 Peter 2:13-19 Revised Standard Version (RSV)

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