Tag: neighbor

Who Are My Enemies?

In the Parable of the Good Samaritan (see Luke 10:25-37), an expert in the law asks Jesus, “What must I do to be saved?” Jesus, as he so often does, answers with a question of his own. “What is written in the law? How do you read it?” Of course, the expert in the law answers with confidence, and Jesus commends him for his answer. But the law expert isn’t mollified by Jesus’s affirmation. The law is clear, but it is not necessarily specific. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind.” That seems pretty clear. But the rest– “Love your neighbor as yourself”– Just who IS my neighbor?

Jesus answers with the famous parable about a man who is beaten and left for dead on the side of a dangerous road. Two religious leaders see him, but each refuses to help. Instead, a Samaritan (despised by the Jews) offers help and compassion, beyond what the law would dictate. Thus, the expert in the law must conclude that a “neighbor” is one who shows mercy and kindness to those whose path he crosses.

In another instance, Jesus talks about enemies:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” Matthew 5:43-45 (NIV)

So, who is my enemy? If my neighbor is anyone who crosses my path, who is left to hate? Jesus IS more specific here. He commands us to pray for those who persecute us; that God causes the sun and rain (and other good and life-giving things) to happen for both the evil and the good; both the righteous and the unrighteous benefit from His mercy. God loves sinners so much that Jesus came to die for them! Jesus met a lot of needy people. He also met some nasty characters who never sought His forgiveness or His help. Yet He did not march in protest against oppression by Roman soldiers. He did not campaign to have the hypocritical Pharisees removed from their positions of power. He did not advocate stealing from the greedy tax collectors to pay for welfare programs. He allowed Himself to be arrested and even (unfairly) convicted and sentenced to death on a cross. His “enemies” were allowed to win a battle. But Jesus Christ has won the war. And when the war is over, there are no “enemies” left to fight!

There is a lot of talk today about enemies, and how they should be treated. We see enemies among our own neighbors who disagree with us politically, or who practice a different religion (or none at all). We see enemies in those who taunt us, or those who live more lavishly, or those whose position in life causes us to think of them as unfairly privileged, or unworthy of certain benefits. And, in many regions of the world, we see as enemies those who are causing war or inciting violence and damage against another nation. These are battles, indeed, but they are battles that, in God’s eyes, have already been won!

Jesus commands us to pray–even for those we may view as enemies! And we are to show mercy and love toward those who view US as the enemy! Not smug self-righteousness, or cold indifference. Not vengeful action or hateful rhetoric. Not name-calling or “cancelling,” “doxing,” or “ghosting” people. We are to pray for their well-being. We are to love them as we love ourselves!

In our own power, we cannot do this. It goes against our nature. We want to be “right.” We want to “win” our battles. We want to see justice done– NOW! We want to be able to dismiss and condemn those who are unrighteous. We want to see them pay. We want to be proved and justified. We want them to be found wanting in comparison with our own righteousness.

We do have a very real enemy– one who does not deserve our love or prayer. But it is not a person. Our enemy is Sin. Our “enemies” are godless spirits– of rebellion against God, of pride, of greed and rage and chaos. People may display behaviors and cling to false teachings; their actions may threaten us, horrify us, or disgust us. But there is a priceless soul involved– a soul who is in slavery to Sin. There is no person on earth who was not created in God’s image, or who is so far from God’s love and forgiveness that we are allowed to condemn. Therefore, there is no person for whom we cannot pray or show love.

Let me be very clear, however. There are certain actions that require us to stand up for truth and justice. Condoning dangerous, violent, unjust, evil actions– worse yet, promoting or participating in such actions in the name of kindness, empathy, “social justice,” equity, vengeance, or solidarity with a particular group–is not loving. We may defend the vulnerable, prosecute the violators of law, or work to remove ourselves from relationships that are abusive or oppressive, while still praying for our oppressors, persecutors, or self-described enemies. We may still show them forgiveness, work toward peace, and even treat them with respect without compromising our own dignity and adherence to the truth. We may (and should) continue to pray for justice. We may pray that the true enemy’s plans will be frustrated and ineffective, and that healing and righteousness will prevail.

Praying for our “enemies” is hard work. It requires us to be humble. It requires us to remember that we, too, are sinners saved by Grace, and not by our own actions or beliefs, but by God’s intervention and design. It requires us to see that our enemy is also our neighbor.

God, grant me the loving eyes to see others as You see them, and the wisdom to see my actions as others experience them.

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Unspoken

What does it mean when someone says they have an “unspoken” prayer request? If you are new to Christianity or to prayer, this can seem confusing. Aren’t we supposed to present our requests to the Father? Aren’t we supposed to pray for one another? How can we ask someone to pray for us, and then hold back on giving a reason? Is that “cheating” somehow?

There are several reasons why someone may ask for “unspoken” prayer, and there is no reason why we should not pray just as fervently for an unspoken request. So why would someone be reluctant or even unable to speak their request?

  • Sometimes, they are passing along a request from another. Someone has shared a burden, and it seems too large for just one or two people. But the original request was not shared publicly, nor did the sharer give permission to share details in a group. It is important to honor the other person’s attempt to avoid gossip and oversharing.
  • Sometimes, the request involves a delicate personal situation– an unsaved spouse, an aging parent facing financial difficulties, etc.– and the details of a request might cause unnecessary pain or shame to another, or strain an already tenuous relationship.
  • Sometimes, the person asking for prayer cannot put their request into words. They know there is a problem, but they may not fully understand what they need or even want. Sometimes, a sudden change throws them into turmoil. Other times, an unrecognized problem has been looming, and they are taken by surprise. Sometimes, there are multiple issues and layers of issues that can’t be explained easily.
  • Sometimes, the person is ashamed of asking. They may feel like a failure for even asking. It may be an issue they thought they had overcome, and they are reluctant to admit that it isn’t resolved. They may not be ready to confess a secret sin, but they know they need help.

Whatever the reason, we should always be willing to pray, especially when asked to do so. But how can I pray for someone who won’t or can’t tell me what they need? 

In many ways it is the same– If I know that “Sue” is battling cancer, I am still praying to the same God as I am for “Janet” who can’t tell me about her recent diagnosis or her ongoing battle with a wayward teenage daughter. Yes, I can be more specific in my prayer for Sue, but I can still lift up Janet as someone who needs God’s care, protection, and encouragement. I can acknowledge that God loves both women, and that God is the only one who can meet their needs. I can praise God that HE knows all; that He is sovereign over all, and that He cares about Sue and Janet (and Me) far more than I can understand. 

What are some practical guidelines when praying for “unspoken” requests?

  • Honor the other person’s privacy. Don’t try to drag a confession or sordid details from someone who is already struggling to share their need for prayer. Your “need to know” all the details is less than another person’s need for earnest encouragement, compassion, and support.
  • Concentrate on the basics— don’t try to “guess” at specifics. Pray for their general health, well-being, growth, encouragement, and strength to persevere. If you know of an ongoing situation, don’t get bogged down on praying for just that issue. Use this opportunity to uphold your friend or neighbor, brother or sister in loving prayer, not intense scrutiny.

  • Do not cast judgment. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “should” be more open or share more details. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “really” needs your prayer. We all know people who “overshare,” and we all know people who seem addicted to drama. We all know other people who never open up or seem independent and self-contained. Their “unspoken” requests are still “real” requests– even if they are making the third one this week. Lift up your sister or brother with love, not exasperation or comparison with anyone else. Remember, you would not want someone else dissecting your life trying to decide if your prayer requests are “worth” their time.
  • Thank God for the opportunity to join God in loving others! If someone is asking for your prayer, it generally means that they respect and trust you to respond. God is giving you a unique and wonderful opportunity to join in His work! Prayer of this type is not a burden or an obligation. It should be a joyful experience.
  • Follow up. Let the other person know that you are praying for them. If possible, pray with them, remembering that this is not an opportunity to pry, poke, or condescend, but to uplift, encourage, and invite God to act! If you get the opportunity to do so, check in with the other person in a few days or a week, to let them know you are still praying.
  • Use this opportunity to build your relationship. ”In what other ways can I be praying for you?” ”Is there anything I can do for you?” Don’t make a fuss. They may (even probably will) say no. Don’t pry about details, but offer practical assistance, as well as prayer, whenever possible.

I try to use this model whenever I get an “unspoken” request– whether in person, as part of a prayer chain, or scrolling through social media. EVERY request is an opportunity. EVERY request deserves my eager and faithful response.

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..And Love Your Neighbor as Yourself

How can I please God? What does He require of me? I’ve been exploring the most basic answer to this question by looking at Jesus’ answer to the related question, “What is the greatest of all the commandments?” (See Matthew 22: 34-40) Jesus quoted from Deuteronomy (6:5) as He gave His two-part answer– Love God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and Love your neighbor as yourself! He went on to say that ALL of the commandments and laws hang on these two concepts.

So today, I want to look closer at the last of these– Love your neighbor as yourself. In another gospel, we see that Jesus is challenged to clarify, “Who is my neighbor?” https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2010%3A25-37&version=NIV When we want to justify ourselves, or narrow the letter of the law, we often stall obedience by seeking to “clarify” God’s commands. Jesus’ words are broad, but perfectly clear– Love your neighbor as yourself–love the next person you meet; the person closest to you, as if they were YOU.

This doesn’t give us room to reject anyone or exclude anyone from our love, compassion, or respect as a child of God. Nor does it give us the right to live someone else’s life, or take away their God-given free will to think and act for themselves. I have been guilty of both offenses, and I don’t think I am alone.

Two of the great mistakes we make in failing to “love our neighbor” come through fear and pride. In the story of the “Good Samaritan,” we see two examples of a priest and a Levite, who fail to show love to their fellow Jew. They act in fear– fear of being the next victim, perhaps, but also fear of being inconvenienced or pulled away from their plans and purposes, and fear of being “defiled.” How many times do I let fear keep me from reaching out? How often do I fear that people, even God, will think less of me for associating with those who need help? Yet Jesus was known for interacting with sinners, lepers, and other outcasts. How can I act differently, and please God more than His own son?

The other great mistake I have made is to “love” out of pride. Sometimes, I think I have more wisdom, or more material wealth, or greater skills, and that it is my right to “help” my neighbor in my own way and at my own convenience. I think I know how they should live, what they should do, and what they need– more than they do; sometimes even more than God knows! But I cannot love where I am not willing to be humble. This is true with God, and it is equally true with others.

That doesn’t mean that I love others best when I let them take advantage to my harm or to their own harm. And it doesn’t mean that I must agree with them completely or deny what I know to be right. But it means that I must value their well-being and worth in God’s eyes as equal to (and often greater) than my own. It makes me feel good to “fix” someone else by fixing their circumstances, or demanding that they accept my help, but their greater need may be to take control of their own circumstances and attitudes. My need to be “right” or “righteous” or “charitable” needs to take a back seat to whatever their greater need may be. I need to listen more than I speak; wait when I would rather act (or vice versa); to take direction rather than give it; and to give advice rather than orders.

The Apostle Paul spoke at length about love:

13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13: 1-7 NIV (via biblegateway.com)

I can “care” about others; I can be generous; I can be knowledgeable; I can volunteer, and make sacrifices; I can “feel” deeply, and empathize with others– and still NOT love them. Conversely, I can disagree with them about a number of things, including their life choices, political views, and spending habits, and still love them as Christ loves them. I can love those who like me, or ignore me; those who hate me, as well as those who love me back. But I cannot do this in pride or in my own emotions and thoughts. This kind of love can only be sustained by the source of true Love– God Himself.

This is why it is so important to learn from Jesus’ example. His perfect Love casts out fear and pride, and allows us to see others (and ourselves!) in the proper perspective.

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