Anywhere…

Anywhere! Anywhere!
Fear I cannot know;
Anywhere with Jesus I can safely go!

I was reading in the Psalms the other day, and I fell on one of my favorites, Psalm 139:

 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.

Psalm 139: 1-12 (ESV)

This portion of the Psalm speaks of God’s Omnipresence. But often, when I read it, I read it from a negative viewpoint. It speaks of hiding from the Lord…it is impossible to escape the Lord’s presence and His omnipotence. I cannot hide my thoughts or deeds or feelings from God’s all-seeing, all-knowing presence. And this is a good thing in the end. But what about when I am not trying to escape from God, but some other threat– guilt, pain, heartbreak, or even death?

God’s omnipresence is also a metaphysical reality in a very positive sense. I cannot stray outside of God’s presence. He will not remove it from me; He will not hide from me. He will never send me into ANY situation where He is NOT already there, and where He will NOT be with me.

I know this. But I needed a reminder today. God will be with me on my best days, and on my worst. He will be with me in sickness or depression, or celebration and strength. He will be with me whether I am “alone” or surrounded by strangers. He will be with me in the darkness where I can’t see anything, as well as in the blinding bright lights of an operating room, or the eerie haze of a foggy morning.

Wherever I am, God is figuratively holding my hand; He is hemming me in all around. I am protected and supported by His Almighty Right Hand. When I am tempted to doubt– He is there! When I am distracted by the din of other voices– He is there! When I have turned my back on Him– He is STILL there; waiting for me to turn back!

I don’t know where I will have to go today. It may be to the grocery store; it may be halfway across the world…I may be called to do unexpected things, to go in an unexpected direction, to turn a frightening corner or face an unknown foe. But I can go anywhere with confidence– not in MY wisdom or abilities or strength– God is WITH me. God goes BEFORE me and BEHIND me. God is OVER me and UNDER me, and all AROUND me.

Recently, there was a news story about a submarine with passengers who were going to visit the wreck of the Titanic. Tragically, the submarine failed and their lives were lost. Just like the passengers over 100 years earlier, they were far from any human help. But God was there. I don’t know if any of the passengers were believers, but if they were, they could face their last earthly hours in confidence and peace that passes human understanding– God was there. Even though their bodies were not saved from this tragedy, their spirits were never out of God’s reach; their hearts were never lost to God’s loving gaze.

May we rest in that assurance today. There is no place on Earth– or in or over or under the Earth!– where God does not watch over us. The going may not be pleasant. It may be dangerous or even deadly. But we– our soul; our spirit– can go anywhere without fear. We can face the transition from life to death with calm assurance. We can face the empty threats of Death and the Grave without flinching. We can face our fears, and defeat them, when we trust that God’s presence in constant and completely sufficient.

Prayers of Protection

My husband and I just returned from a week-long vacation. We had a very nice time, just getting away for awhile, relaxing, doing some fishing, and enjoying nature. We like to travel, and we like to take the “back roads” and scenic routes. Even so, we pray for God’s protection as we travel.

Praying for “travel mercies” or safety as we travel is not a magical formula. We were not expecting that God would somehow grant us a problem-free trip. Prayer doesn’t change the possibility that we could be involved in an accident, or our car might break down, or we might be subject to bad weather or natural disaster (on that note, we are praying for those impacted by Hurricane Helene– both residents and travelers). Rather, praying for safety in our travels is an acknowledgement that God knows what the future holds, and we do not. God is able to protect us from harm in a miraculous way, if He so chooses. But He is also able to bring us THROUGH tough times and even disasters. Prayer reminds us that we are not the sole authors of our own circumstances.

Nor does prayer negate our obligation to practice safety–we obey the traffic laws, check to make sure the car is in good condition, we wear seatbelts, and pay attention to driving conditions. Prayer simply reminds us that we are not the sole authors of our circumstances. We expect certain outcomes, but God knows both the expected and the unexpected outcomes; we proclaim our trust in Him, no matter what.

So what happened on our vacation? Was it all smooth sailing (or driving in our case)? Not quite. Yet I believe that God answered our prayers and showed His faithfulness. We took our Jeep and drove almost 500 miles away from home without any major incident. We did have to “pump up” one of our tires, and we experienced some rough driving when we went “off road” due to a wrong turn we took. (We ended up on a designated trail for off-road vehicles, thinking it was a short-cut to a rocky beach!) And, just as we were entering our home town at the end of our trip, we witnessed (but were not involved) in a bad crash involving a vehicle fleeing from the police.

I believe that God was with us–not just because we had a good trip with minimal troubles, but because He has promised to never leave us! I know faithful Christians who have died in terrible car accidents. Two years before I was born, my mother and grandmother almost died in an auto accident. God was still with them! Someone once asked me to think about all the “close calls” and even unknown dangers that none of us can see–We have no idea how many times over we “should” have died or “might” have faced grave dangers. In fact, on another vacation a few years ago, we were within 30 miles of home when we hit a deer. No one was hurt, but it could have been a disaster. The accident that injured my mother was along a route that she drove every day. In fact, most accidents happen within 25 miles of home. How easy to pray for protection for a long trip into the unknown and forget to pray when we are traveling to church on Sunday or to the movies on Friday night! Yet God may have protected us from death a hundred times over in our lives without our knowledge. It is only when we see the frightening possibilities that we acknowledge the miracles of His protection in our lives.

It can be difficult to see the hand of God when a miracle doesn’t happen. When “good” people die or suffer extreme pain as the result of a freak accident. We want life to “make sense.” We want our plans to, well, go as planned. And it can be too easy to claim credit when things DO work out just the way we expected. God did not let bad things happen to other people because He didn’t love them. And He didn’t let David and I have a great vacation because He somehow loves us MORE than others, or because we are somehow “better” or “more deserving” of a good vacation.

God answers prayers of protection– not because He has to, and not always in the way we expect Him to–God’s ways are NOT our ways. But we can trust Him, and continue to pray for protection and mercy as we travel through each new day. He IS Faithful. He WILL not leave us to face the unknown alone.

Praying in the Dark

(This post is an updated version of one that first appeared three years ago, during the COVID pandemic. I have updated a few of the references to reflect the change. There is still a lot of darkness and confusion in the world, but some of the sources have changed a bit.)

The past few days have been a dark place for me. I don’t mean that something horrible has happened, or that my life has been upended. But things seem dim and indistinct. Some things I took for granted turn out to be less than sure. Events have been chaotic and tinged with evil and sadness. The present economy seems far from certain, and rumors swirl around the upcoming elections. Many places around the world are at war, and there is violence, unrest, crime, and uncertainty nearly everywhere. Even traditionally “safe” institutions like the family and the Church are under constant attack. It is difficult to know who or what to trust– everything seems shadowed and indistinct.

I read a novel a while ago, set in the early days of World War II in London. Because of the threat of air raids from Germany, the people were required to “black out” their windows at night, and drive with no headlights. People who had driven or walked around the streets of London with confidence just weeks before were being injured or even killed because they could no longer trust the once familiar streets. Craters and rubble from bombing raids, or hastily built ditches and barricades; hidden dangers filled neighborhoods. And people could not count on streetlights, headlights, or lights in windows to guide them safely home. At the same time, thousands of people, fearing that the Germans would use deadly gas, were carrying around gas masks (just in case!), and leaving them on buses or at pubs or train stations, because they were unused to the extra responsibility. Suddenly, the gas mask they were depending on was lost, and all the extra preparation turned out to be useless, anyway.

It reminds me how often I would see people just a couple of years ago, getting ready to enter a store, only to return to their car for their required mask. Many people wore them “the wrong way:” others wore them for months longer than necessary. Still others wore the same mask for several days but failed to wash their hands. Some people stayed in their homes for weeks, even when they could have spent some time getting fresh air at a park or one their porch or stoop. Others took great risks going to stores where other customers were sick. And many workers had no choice but to report to work, knowing they would be exposed to COVID. Many people refused to get the vaccines once they became available, while others were demanding that everyone had to get the vaccine or be charged with a crime. No one was sure if they were “safe”– even with masks, vaccines, and other protocols. It was a very dark time.

Hard times and difficult situations can cause us to shift our focus and have to learn new routines–even new vocabulary! At certain times, life almost seems “normal.” At others, we seem to be tossed by every new wave that comes along. It can be easy to lose one’s way in the fog and darkness of chaos and changing times.

The Psalmist and King, David, had words of wisdom for times like these: “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” (Psalm 119: 105 KJV)

Even when things seem dark and it feels like I’ve lost my way, God is right beside me. If I have no other “light” to see by, God’s word will be enough to guide me on. When I pray– even in the dark–God sees me clearly, and knows the way ahead.

Photo by Pat Whelen on Pexels.com

And I needed to be reminded of that again this week.

When God Is In the Shadows

(SPOILER ALERT)– this post is about The Lord of the Rings and contains many references to plot devices. If you have not read the books or seen the movies, you will be confused and the narrative will be spoiled..

It’s no secret that I am a big fan of the Lord of the Rings by J.R.R.Tolkein. I’ve read through the trilogy several times, and I love to watch the movie version, as well. Even though it is a fantasy story, many of the situations and lessons are “true.” We may not face orcs or dragons or undead ring-wraiths, but we do face difficult challenges, such as war, grief, confusion, and oppression. We WILL face difficulties in life; we need to face them with resolve, courage, wisdom, and action. We may not have to destroy the Ring of Power, but we may have to battle addictions, habits, and relationships that threaten to destroy us.

One of the elements of the Lord of the Rings that captured my imagination from the very first readings was the “fall” of the wizards, Gandalf and Saruman. Saruman, who is introduced as one of the council of “good” wizards, and a mentor/friend of Gandalf, seems like someone who will be able to help the Fellowship in their quest to destroy the Ring of Power. But Saruman has “fallen” under the thrall of the evil Sauron. Using one of the “seeing stones,” Saruman has seen into the Dark Lord’s plans, and has decided that his own wisdom and power are enough to equal those of Sauron. His “fall” is one of self-delusion and arrogance. And his fall is described in terms of color. Where once he was called Saruman the White (the color of light when all the colors come together), Saruman becomes a prism, reflecting all the colors, but broken up, diffused, and no longer giving a true light.

Gandalf’s “fall” in the chasm as he battles the demonic Balrog is both dramatic and unexpected. Coming on the heels of Saruman’s betrayal, it sends shockwaves through all of Middle Earth. It left me devastated. After all, Gandalf is wise, good, and powerful. Having read The Hobbit, it was comforting to have a familiar guiding force to lead this new “adventure.” It is his knowledge and encouragement that has provided leadership and stability for the Fellowship of the Ring. His sudden and tragic absence leaves a gaping hole and many questions. His is a literal “fall.” He falls into blackness– fire and shadow and utter silence.

It strikes me that the wizards of The Lord of the Rings are not unlike the gods and heroes we make for ourselves. We imagine God (and often human heroes, including pastors and other religious figures) as being benign old men, walking among us, offering just enough wisdom, power, and “magic” to entertain, enlighten, and encourage us. We listen for good advice (whether or not we actually take it!), and we take comfort in the fact that they seem to know all that is going to happen. Of course, the wizards in the books are not REALLY gods–they know many things, but they cannot see all ends; they have great power, but they cannot defeat Sauron on their own (nor successfully challenge him, as Saruman learns); they are not always where they say they will be when they said they would be there.

“You’re late, Gandalf!”
“A wizards is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”
(From the Fellowship of the Ring)

Not only is Gandalf “late” for Bilbo’s special party (according to Frodo), but he completely misses his meeting with Frodo and the other hobbits in Bree, due to circumstances beyond his control. And, when the company seems to need him most, he falls into the great chasm and they must flee to the Elves at Imladris. Galadriel offers some encouragement, but it is tinged with dire warnings. Saruman’s “fall” highlights his shortcomings– he can only “see” victory through compromise, deception, and the machinery of war. Everything about him becomes twisted and sullied. In the books, he ends up being a two-bit tyrant, defeated in his attempt to take over the Shire. In the movies, he “falls” from his tower of Orthanc and sinks into the stinking pools festering around his ruined ambitions.

What about our visions and expectations of God? Sometimes, it seems as though He is “late” or “absent” in the midst of our difficulties. We want Him to come in and save the day– tell us exactly what to do next, or make an obstacle disappear, or bring a host of warriors to fight our battles. Other times, it seems as though our vision of God is seen through a prism…if God is really good, how could He let _______ happen? If God is really just, why is there still so much injustice around us? And what about others who follow a different “God.” Which one is real? Which one is “Right?” How can we know? In fact, those who follow Christ are following a God who faced betrayal and death– and He seemed to be defeated. And sometimes, it seems as though He has left us to the mercy of the evil that surrounds us.

God sometimes seems to be “fallen into shadow.” He seems to be absent. Or at least distant and silent. Just as in The Lord of the Rings, we can be left like the Fellowship– shocked, dismayed, left feeling lost and hopeless. Where is God in those moments?

But when I re-read the books, or when I sit down to binge-watch the movies –again– I find myself seeing things from a different perspective. Gandalf and Saruman both “fall” before even the middle of the story. Saruman’s betrayal seems not just tragic, but nearly insurmountable. Gandalf’s absence leads (indirectly) to the breaking up of the Fellowship into smaller, leaderless factions. But here’s what I see clearly in reflection– the Shadows that seem to swirl around the wizards are just that. They are shadows. There is darkness in the Land of Mordor. But Frodo and the rest of the Fellowship carry their own light. (Frodo, in fact, carries a literal light in his gift from Galadriel). They stay true to one another and true to their quest. As Sam points out at Osgiliath, they have had many chances of turning back and giving up, but they hold on to the hope that Good will win over Darkness, and Truth will defeat oppression and deceit, and yes, even the Ring of Power. Gandalf’s absence, while shocking and discouraging, is not permanent, nor is it devastating. It only seems so in the shadow of uncertainty and the chaos of war and suffering. The other members of the Fellowship actually develop their character, their strengths, and their gifts when Gandalf isn’t there to make things easier. He has already given them the wisdom they need– even if they don’t realize it. Gimli and Legolas become a team as their unlikely friendship develops. Merry and Pippin mature into warriors and diplomats. Aragorn becomes the King he was always destined to be. Frodo and Sam–unaware of Gandalf’s victory until the very end, still face all their dangers, including betrayal by Gollum, and save all of Middle Earth!

And so it is with our difficulties. We are looking around for help, wondering how we will continue if God is in the shadows; if God remains silent. We want to see His hand moving the chess pieces, or hear His voice calling out our next step. When we don’t hear it, we can make bad choices– we can give up hope, compromise with the enemy, or trust in our own power to see us through–or we can stay true to His Word and keep running the good race (see 2 Timothy 4:7-8) God does not abandon us– unlike the wizards, He is omniscient and omnipresent– but sometimes He stays in the shadows, knowing that it is for our development and maturity. I don’t have certainty about my choices and my actions, but I have the Bible and I have the Holy Spirit.. I have prayer. And I have the people God sends into my life to give advice and encouragement. I may not know if I can trust even the advice of religious leaders, but I can compare their advice with what I read in God’s Word and what I see in their actions. When I read the Bible, I read about promises God made to the nation of Israel– promises He kept. I read in Ezekiel, and Daniel, and again in Matthew and Revelation about His promises for the end of the ages.

It may look dark for the characters in The Lord of the Rings as they battle their way through Middle Earth. But I DO know how the story ends! I know that Gandalf does not stay in the shadows– he comes back more powerful than ever! And Saruman’s army of orcs is defeated; Saruman’s poisonous plot to usurp the mind and will of King Theoden is discovered and the king restored to health. And the Fellowship (excepting Boromir) is reunited after Frodo and Sam are successful in destroying the Ring. And I may not know the next step in my own story, but I know how my story will end! God may seem to be AWOL or “in the shadows” during my current circumstances– in my grieving, struggling, and pain. I may not see justice and peace in my near future– I may not see them in my lifetime– but I can KNOW that God is never late. He is never too early. He will arrive precisely when He means to. No shadow will be able to hide Him; no darkness will be able to comprehend Him. He will come in the blazing light of His Glory– and He will come to make all things new!

Choosing to Pray

Yesterday, I voted in a primary election. In a few months, I will vote in a general election for President. I live in a nation of choices. I can choose to vote for any of the listed candidates, or I can write in a name. I can choose not to vote at all. I can choose how to spend my money– I can invest, purchase, pay my bills (or not), gamble it away, or give the money to charity. I choose what to do with my time– I can sleep all day, go to work on time or arrive late, I can spend all my time on-line, or I can binge-watch movies or TV shows. I can keep a consistent schedule, or I can take each day’s time as it comes. I can choose where to go– I can stay indoors in my apartment, I can walk all over town, or I can get in my car and drive to another city. I can choose my attitude and outlook; I can choose my political and social stands, and I can choose my beliefs. Others may apply pressure and coercion, but they can’t take away my right to choose.,. For better or for worse!

However, my choices have consequences. If I choose to act against the law of the land, it is very likely that I will be caught and punished. I may be fined, or jailed. I may face a trial. In many countries, I may be executed for doing things that would be allowed in my home country. If I choose not to pay my bills or not to go to work, I may face economic hardship as a result– late fees, loss of a job, and a difficult time finding future employment. If I choose to eat only junk food, or no food at all, I will experience health issues. The choices I made today in the voting booth, and the choices I will make in November will have consequences– most of which I cannot predict with any accuracy. I think I know what will happen– and others may predict dire consequences if I don’t vote “their” way– and my one small vote may not seem consequential, but it counts! Even my small actions have a ripple effect on the rest of my life, and the way in which I conduct it. I will either “show up” or I will “stand back.” I will either accept responsibility in the small things and large, or I will try to blame others. I will practice self-control and discipline, or I will drift through life at the whim of emotions, influences, peer pressure, and deceptions.

When it comes to prayer, I also have choices. There are times when I feel “compelled” to pray– circumstances beyond my understanding or control will cause me to want to cry out for divine help. Hearing about others’ needs make me want to ask God to work in their circumstances. Sometimes, I feel waves of gratitude and worship that cause me to sing and praise God for His character, His faithfulness, and the blessings He has poured out in my life. But I am not required to pray. I choose to pray. Sometimes, my choice to pray is simple, natural, and automatic. At other times, it is a sacrifice to pray. Prayer is more than just “an option” in my life. It really is a pursuit. I choose to keep a prayer journal. I choose to focus on prayer every day– both in practice and in testimony (as in this blog entry).

So today, I will join with others this morning in corporate prayer. I will pray alone at home. I will pray throughout the day for my community, and for individuals as they come to mind or show up in my prayer journal. And some of the prayers will come naturally; others will require me to dig deep, to confess my own failures, and admit my need for God’s Grace, His Wisdom, and His Strength.

And the consequences? Well, I can’t predict how my prayers may impact my own life or the lives of others. I don’t know how God will choose to answer my prayers. I don’t pray because God always does what I want– I trust Him to do what is BEST; and I have learned that His timing and His ways ARE the best!–but I pray because I know it is the best and first action I should take in any situation. I’m not perfect in prayer. I don’t always pray first. I don’t always listen for God’s answer when I DO pray. And I also know the consequences of NOT praying– worry, confusion, anger, restlessness, disappointment, and more. Oh, I may not experience all of these things instantly. But eventually, my choices and their consequences lead to frustration when they are not coupled with prayer, trust, and obedience.

I hope you are praying, trusting, and following God today. I hope that is your choice every day. God will not force you to come to Him. But He is ALWAYS right there when you do! Your choice to pray may not change the world instantly, but it WILL have consequences!

When I voted yesterday, I got a sticker, proclaiming to everyone that I had made the choice to vote. What might happen if Christians (myself included) were bold enough to proclaim our choice to pray every day and in all circumstances!?

You-nique!

Have you ever read through a passage in the Bible and been astonished, or even annoyed, at the long lists of names? Genesis, Chronicles, Ezra, even some of Paul’s letters contain genealogies and long strings of names– people whose life stories and deeds we will never know. Yet they are included in the greatest story of all time! God knows each name. He knows who they were, what they did, their hopes and dreams, their fears and disappointments– even the number of hairs on each of their heads!

“And the very hairs on your head are all numbered…”– Jesus Christ in Luke 12:7a (New Living Translation)

God knows you in the same intimate way. In the entire history of the universe, and in all the future years to come, there has only ever been, and only ever will be ONE of YOU. Your fingerprints, your retinas, your DNA are all unique to YOU. Even if you are a twin or triplet– even if you are the “spitting image” of one of your ancestors or relatives, NO ONE else can ever share your life story. Even if you were cloned, and there was another person who shared your exact physical nature, they would not share your soul– your thoughts, emotions, ambitions, griefs, and experiences.

And you are uniquely qualified in prayer. No one else can share your thoughts and feelings, your praises and confessions, your requests or petitions. Thirty people can pray for the same situation, the same person; there will be thirty different prayers! Even if you say the same words, or stand in agreement with another’s spoken words, you will not pray with the same exact thoughts. Your heart-cry is different from everyone else’s.. and God hears and understands each unique prayer. Out of all the prayers rising to heaven every second of every day, God can distinguish and delight in YOURS!

Some days it is frustrating to feel like “just another number” or “lost in the shuffle” of other people waiting in line, or trying to conduct business over the phone, or scrolling though social media. But you are never just a number to God. He knows your name– he has known it from eternity past! Your prayers are not put “on hold,” or filed away for later review, or answered with a form letter. God is personal– eight billion times over! He doesn’t just celebrate your uniqueness– He designed it!

What unique and amazing prayer will you pray today? How can you live out your unique personality and purpose this week? Who might be encouraged by your unique smile, your prayers, or your personal touch as you go through your day? Just remember, no one else can be you– no one else can show God’s character and His love exactly like you can! God didn’t send someone else to do what only you can. But He will be there each moment to help you do it– in your own YOU-nique way.

I’m Too Busy!

Father, I’m too busy today.
I have filled my life with too many urgencies
And obligations.
I can’t take the time to quiet my soul
And just meditate on You.

I have a checkup appointment with the doctor this morning.
(Thank you for my health and wellness, and
Give the doctor insight and wisdom to see
What I need to do to stay healthy.)

And then, I have a busy day at work,
To make up for the time off…
(Thank you, Father, for employment!)
(Thank you for time off!)
(Thank you for travel mercies.)

Tonight, I have to catch up on all the housework…
(Thank you for a home, and clothing, and dishes, and furniture…)
(Thank you for family to share it all with!)
And I promised our neighbor I’d check on their cat while they are on vacation.
(Thank you for good neighbors, and the opportunity to serve them.)

Lord, forgive me… I’m just too busy to pray today.
(Father, thank you for a busy life– a life with purpose and activity.
Thank you for your Presence throughout the day!)

Father, thank you for the truth–
I am NOT too busy to give you praise
I am NEVER too busy to turn my thoughts and my heart
to YOU, even on this busy day!

Out of the Static

This weekend, my husband, our middle grandson, and I all participated in “Field Day.” This is a 24-hour simulation and contest for amateur radio (Ham radio) operators (like David and I) to test our skills and practice our hobby. Thousands of “Hams” across the United States and Canada spend this time trying to make as many radio contacts as possible. But the object is to try to do it under “field” conditions– many groups or clubs literally set up tents in fields during this time (weather permitting!) and use solar or battery power only. There are also ways to earn “bonus” points by setting up in a public area and teaching or training young people (like our grandson) or inviting other non-licensed people to transmit under supervision. The overall goal is to have fun and share the importance of amateur radio. At the same time, we’re testing both our equipment and our skill under situations that mimic an emergency, like an extended power outage or a natural disaster, when effective and organized radio communication may help save lives.

We aren’t trying to “win” the competition, but we do try to do our best– rising to the challenge. It was a lot of fun this year to see our grandson get excited about making contact with people from Canada, and many areas of the U.S. in states he has never visited in “real life!” In previous years, we have joined up with a local club, or invited friends or neighbors to contest with us. Each year, there is the triumph or making a “difficult” contact– someone from across the continent, or someone from a remote area. And every year there is the frustration of “the ones that got away”– listening in and finding the right frequency, but being unable to both receive AND send the message necessary for a valid contact

Every year during Field Day, I am reminded of how tenuous radio communication can be. Radios are the original “wireless” communication– the forerunners of our modern cell phones. Operators must “tune” their radios to pick up on the sound waves floating through the air. There are billions of sound waves, all floating around the atmosphere. We cannot hear them with our “naked” ears– and a good thing, too! We would never be able to distinguish all the noises that pass around and above us every moment. In fact, when radios pick up on just a single frequency at a time, much of what we hear is buzzing “static.” Most modern radios and cell phones use special equipment, such as filters and “repeaters” to find specific sound waves, translate them, amplify them “above” the static, and allow us to hear messages clearly. Field Day forces us to operate without a lot of these “helpers.” Voices and Morse Code transmissions must be carefully “brought out” of the surrounding static in order to receive even simple messages. And even if I can hear someone else’s message, they must be able to hear my response, or it isn’t a true “contact.”

Field Day also reminds me of prayer– and gives me reason to rejoice! Just imagine the overwhelming volume of prayer on a typical day! With over 8 billion people on the earth, even if only a tenth of them pray on any given day, that’s still millions of prayers all rising up and floating around the universe. And God hears them all! He doesn’t just hear the “noise” of prayer– He hears our hearts! He feels our pain– and our praise! In fact, the Bible even says of our praise, that God “inhabits” the Praises of His People (Israel– see Psalm 22:3) God rides the wavelengths of our worship! And He surrounds the soundwaves of our grieving. God doesn’t have to strain to hear us, or to understand the emotion behind our prayers. Praying is not like sending a message into radio airspace. We never have to wonder if God will be able to hear us through the static! We never have to know the frustration of screaming out into the universe and being lost in the noise.

But listening through the static on Field Day also challenges me…Am I “tuning in” to God’s messages to me? Do I surround myself with extra “static” as I go through my day? Or do I spin my dial, trying to find other voices; other messages to fill the space of my life? If God inhabits praise– Am I offering Him any dwelling space? Or have I filled it up with empty praises and pursuits? And, as God’s witness and ambassador, how well am I listening to those around me? Am I busy adding my “noise” to conversations when I should be “tuning in” to someone else’s need?

Today looks like a great day for a Prayer-themed “Field Day.” Time to test my communication with God– both sending Him praise and petition, and listening for His answer above all else! And it’s a great day for spreading the great news of God’s desire to listen to us– no matter what static we live in!

Promises, Promises…

God keeps His promises.  Not just small promises, not just some of them, or some of the time.  God Keeps His Promises!  Every single one.  Every single time.

In this world of failed promises, assumed promises, “campaign” promises, and broken promises, it is almost impossible to believe.  Surely there must be some promise that God has not fulfilled– some promise that he has taken back or “modified” somehow…

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Isn’t there?  There are people who claim to have examples– proof that God cannot be trusted.  They list tragedies that God allowed to happen, or dreams that did not come to fruition.  They list times they could not feel God’s presence, or understand His ways; times He seemed silent or harsh.  Didn’t God promise His unfailing presence?  Didn’t He promise peace and love and joy?

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Good questions–just what DID God promise?  To whom did He promise it?  When?  Were there some promises that were conditional, and, if so, what are the conditions?

  • God’s presence–Jesus said, “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20 ESV)  There are numerous other passages where God says to Israel, or to one of Israel’s leaders, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”  The writer of Hebrews echoes this in chapter 13 of his letter as he seeks to encourage early Christians.  This is a solid promise, and one that we can trust.  But we won’t always “feel” God’s presence.  That’s one of the reasons for the promise– to give us an anchor for our faith when our feelings are confused.  God will be with us even (and often especially) when we feel alone, frightened, overwhelmed by our circumstances.  What makes the thought of Hell so frightening is that it falls outside of this promise– at the “end of the age”, there will be a time and place where God’s presence cannot be felt– God will not be there, nor will the essence of God be available.  No love, no peace, no light, no life, no joy, no hope.  Even those who utterly reject God in this life still have access to hopes and dreams, love and goodness, because God is still present in His creation.
  • God’s promises to Israel–God made hundreds of specific promises to the nation of Israel.  Some were made for specific circumstances and times.  Some were made to be eternal and never broken, canceled, revoked, or transferred.  Many promises (including those given through prophecies) were given to specific nations, including Israel/Judah/Judea as it existed at that time.  Others were given to a restored Israel– one that has not yet been completely restored.  Other promises were made to those who are the spiritual heirs of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob– regardless of their genetic heritage.  It is very easy to co-opt a promise that isn’t really ours to claim in the context of when or how it was given.
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  • “Circumstantial” or “Personal” promises– God fulfilled certain promises to individuals throughout the Bible.  These are recorded to remind us of God’s faithfulness and His power to bring about miracles.  They are not meant to act as personal promises to us because We want the blessings that God gave to someone else in other circumstances.
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  • “Difficult” promises– Not all God’s promises are ones we want to remember!  God has promised that we will suffer.  He promises that people will hate us, abandon us,  or persecute us on account of our faith.   Death and judgement are stark realities– God has promised that we will face both– and that we can face both without fear!  Jesus himself foretold of natural disasters, war, poverty, disease, injustice, hunger and other difficult circumstances that will continue until His return.
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  • “Victorious” promises– God has promised future restoration and renewal– eternal life, a new Heaven, and a new earth.  But He hasn’t promised easy victory.  He promises Justification, not “just a vacation” by Faith.  When we face struggles, it is not God breaking His promises.  And it is not always because we aren’t praying enough or don’t have enough faith.  Sometimes, God sends us into the thick of the battle for reasons we don’t understand.  He doesn’t give us the victory we think we deserve or the victory we dream of.  But we can trust that the victory already belongs to Him.

Prayer is more than just a wish or a vague hope– it is trusting my life, my future, my fears, and my heart to the one who can be counted on to listen and to respond.  Always!

When God Doesn’t (Seem to) Answer…

Prayer is a conversation with God. But sometimes it can seem like a one-sided conversation. We have pressing needs for healing, or strength to bear up under stress or oppression. Sometimes, we pray for our loved ones’ struggles against addiction or wrong choices. And God seems silent.

Sometimes, it’s better to get an answer we don’t like than no answer at all. When I was younger, I prayed for a family– a dream family with a handsome husband (preferably wealthy), three adorable and well-behaved children (I already had names picked out..), and maybe a beloved family pet, all living in a beautiful house with a big back yard, and maybe a small woods. I waited and prayed; prayed and waited. When I was in my thirties, still waiting and praying, I found out that I have several health problems– none of them life-threatening, but they mean that the chances that I would ever have had children are slim to none. I would never have the pleasure of watching my own children grow up; never know the joy of having a little voice calling me “mommy.”

But God had not abandoned me. In my careers as a teacher and a children’s librarian (careers I had begun before I knew I couldn’t have children of my own), I had the joy of working with hundreds of children across a spectrum of ages, from nearly newborn through college! My memories are filled with a choir of voices calling me Miss Toney or Miss Lila (as I was known then). God had not closed the door on my dream– he had opened a window.

It wasn’t the answer I had hoped for, but it was an answer. However, I was still single. I didn’t want to be single. I didn’t feel it was what God wanted for my life, yet He didn’t seem to be listening or giving me any sign that He heard or understood. There was only silence. No promising relationships– only a few scattered dates over the long years–a few budding friendships, and many lonely days and nights.

There were many helpful friends and family with suggestions, ideas, advice, comforting thoughts, or “explanations.” “God is waiting for you to become more mature in your walk with Him.” “God is saving the best for last.” “You’re too picky (I was never quite sure what that meant in light of the scarcity of dates, but…)” “You need to ‘get out there’ more–have you tried on-line dating? (I did. It was ‘meh’..).” “You should change jobs– single men are not hanging out at the library.” “You should change churches– find one with more single men.” But God stayed silent through my thirties and into my forties.

I did take some of the very good advice I received. I signed up to do short term missions trips. I traveled when I could, with family and friends, and even on my own. I read and went back to college. I spent time in the woods and at the beach, meditating, singing, or just enjoying God’s nature. I got “involved” in various volunteer opportunities. I joined the church choir. And I continued to pray.

By the time I was squarely in my forties, I had decided to stop praying for a husband, to stop hoping, and praying, and seeking, and dreaming. And God said nothing. But I began getting phone calls from an old friend– someone I had known in childhood–in fact, the very first boy I had ever dated, nearly 30 years before! At first, I listened to his voice-mail messages, but didn’t return his calls. I was annoyed, and even a bit angry. After all this time, was God laughing at me? Did He really expect me to go all the way back to the very beginning and start over?

David and I on our wedding day.

Finally, I let go of my pride, and my ancient dream– I decided to give David a chance. Maybe it would lead to another (renewed) friendship. Maybe it would be another disappointment. But it led to a new dream. It led to marriage, and a huge extended family, including David’s wonderful children, and three adorable (and mostly well-behaved) grandchildren. My husband is kind, and honorable, and Godly. He is a treasure. And God’s timing is perfect, even as it is mysterious. God didn’t withhold marriage as a bargaining chip to get me to “grow up,” or grant it as a “reward” for going on a couple of mission trips. God was silent–but He wasn’t absent. He saw every teardrop, rejoiced in every busy child-filled day at work, smiled at every snapshot of every natural wonder, every Teddy Bear picnic, every Bible School. He want along on every date, kept track of all the hundreds of books I read over the years, and hovered over the dinner table set for one every night. I committed my life to serving Him– whether I was single or married, alone, or surrounded by children. His ways are higher, and better, and wiser than mine.

I may never understand why God allowed me to travel the roads that have been set before me. And my roads could have looked much different. I could have married young, unaware of my barrenness, and ended up bitter and feeling guilty about my body for years before I was diagnosed. I might have had a child (or children), and become proud and controlling and fearful. I might have made idols of my “dream” husband and family.

I know many dozens of people who are praying into the “silence” and waiting for God’s answer. Some are praying for healing. They may pray for days in the hospital, only to lose their loved one. They may pray for weeks or months, as their child battles chronic illness. They may pray for years as they battle depression and loneliness. God may seem silent. But He is never absent. His ways sometimes lead to a happy ending in this life. Sometimes, they lead us to have greater understanding and compassion for others. Sometimes, they lead us to unexpected purposes and goals– adventures beyond what we have ever dreamed of. Sometimes, they lead to a legacy that we cannot see this side of death. He does not promise us the answer we want, when or how we want it. He doesn’t promise us an easy or “happy” answer on the road ahead of us in this life. What He does promise is that He will never forsake us. Long after we have been tempted to give up, to doubt, to turn away, God will still be waiting– sometimes in the silence– for the perfect moment, the perfect justice, the perfect word, the perfect solution.

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