Piece of Mind v. Peace of Mind

We live in an angry world, filled with outrage, entitlement, bitterness, hurt, and arrogance. Everywhere we look, someone is giving someone else (sometimes everyone else) a “piece of their mind.” And those who do are often lauded and celebrated. Pundits, critics, “talking heads,” columnists, “expert” opinion-makers (recognized or self-appointed)– all make careers out of sharing their opinions, their theories, expertise, or knowledge. They may be clever, intelligent, even entertaining; they may be popular, intimidating, or impressive in their range of knowledge. I may agree with their opinions, and share their conclusions or beliefs. But I should be careful not to become “puffed up” with knowledge.

Knowledge puffs up but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is known by God. 1 Corinthians 8:1-3
1 Corinthians 8:1-3

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It is very tempting– VERY tempting– to join in this practice of verbal tongue-lashing. To show off our superior knowledge or our righteous opinions. To win arguments and create “mic-drop” moments.

Meeting anger with anger, sarcasm with sarcasm, and pride with pride is natural. But it is not God’s way. God calls for us to have peace of mind– to have a mind that can see and hear the reality of our fallen world but respond in an unnaturally loving and gracious manner given to us by the Holy Spirit. We are to speak words of peace, to walk in humility, and to love our neighbors as ourselves.

Our words can be powerful– for good or evil. We can speak peace and goodwill, harmony, and love into a world that is drowning in hateful comparisons, disdain, selfishness, malicious gossip, idle chatter, and careless opinions. Words can uplift, encourage, heal, and strengthen. Words–even quiet words– can stem the tide of malice and bring light and hope.

And it is not just what we pass on to others with our words– we become what we speak! When we speak arrogance and self-righteousness, we become (and remain) self-righteous and arrogant. When we speak love and joy, peace and patience, trust and truth, we become more peaceful, joyful, patient and trustworthy.

Jesus– the Word of God– often used a quiet sentence to bring hope, reassurance, and blessing to people in need. Jesus felt anger– and He had every right to speak HIS opinion and HIS omniscience when He was tested and unfairly questioned. But He chose to be patient. His answers were not laced with malice and sarcasm, but they silenced His critics, and served as lessons for others who were listening. What a great example for us!

What might happen if we spent less time giving a “piece of our mind” and more time spreading “peace of mind” in our world?

January 17, 2025 0

But I’m Right!

Social media is a dangerous place these days. Everyone is an expert on something– pain, medicine, race relations, politics, religion…
I’m an expert, too. I am an expert in my own opinion! I know all I ever need to know about how I feel, what I’ve experienced, how I would solve all the world’s problems, and what everyone else should know, do, and think.

And when I pray, I am an expert in what I want, and what God should do–right?

Turns out, the Bible disagrees with me. Prayer is not about telling God what I think He should do. And one of the things He doesn’t want me to do is go about telling everyone how much I know and how right I am about everything.

I know– it flies in the face of common thought and practice. But my words are not to be about how good I am, how smart I am, how righteous I am, how “woke” I am, or how tolerant I am. My words shouldn’t be all about ME. When I do speak (or write), it should be for one of four reasons:

To praise– to bring honor and glory to God for who He is and all that He has done. To rehearse and proclaim His good deeds and righteous acts so that others may hear and praise Him, too.
To encourage, build up, edify, or heal others. Words have the power to bring hope, energy, confidence, light, and love. They also have the power to destroy, devalue, and discourage. Finally, words have the power to suck energy, waste time, and bring confusion and chaos. When I speak carelessly, selfishly, or foolishly, it does nothing to build up others. (And it probably doesn’t do me much good, either!)
To speak truth and stand up for righteousness–not in an arrogant way, and not to win “points”, but to honestly and firmly defend what I know to be true. I must realize that there will be others who will stand in opposition to the truth and refuse to hear what I say. Others will misconstrue and misrepresent the truth. It is NOT for me to make them believe– only to stand up and give voice to the truth when I see it under attack.
To express unique and creative thoughts, which is part of praising my maker. Everyone has SOMETHING to say– something that expresses their inner thoughts and unique perspectives. That should cause me to take great joy. And it should cause me to take the same joy in helping others find their voice and share their stories and ideas. Not because I’m “right” about the world, or because they are “right” in their ideas. But because God gave each of us a voice. I can listen and not agree; they can do the same. But sometimes, in the act of listening, we do more to come to understanding and agreement than we ever do by speaking. And in being allowed to speak freely, we might listen to ourselves more carefully, too.

Jesus spoke wonderful parables, deep and thoughtful prayers, piercing sermons, and tender words of encouragement and love. But He also listened–not only to the critics and enemies, but to those who hid in the shadows; those who were outcast and oppressed; those whose voices were drowned out by the crowds. He was RIGHT! More than anyone ever, He had the right to be heard…He chose to listen as well as speak. Jesus was more interested in being Himself than being “right.” More interested in showing love than showing off. More interested in understanding than overpowering. Jesus spoke–but He also laughed, and wept, and lived, and listened.

May we do the same today.

January 29, 2024 0

Driven to Pray?

I met up with an old schoolmate last week, and he asked a question that made me think a lot. He wondered whether our generation– specifically our classmates and friends, were “driven.” His observation was that many of his nieces and nephews seem to have a lot of drive and ambition that he doesn’t remember seeing (or experiencing) in our youth. He noted that few of our friends have gone on to become lawyers or doctors, engineers or CEOs.

I wasn’t sure how to answer his observation. I started, but didn’t complete, a master’s degree. I know several of our friends who are teachers, paralegals, and business owners. Many have what most people would consider at least moderately “successful” lives– happy families, rewarding careers, the respect of others in their communities. And yet very few have distinguished themselves on the national or international front– aside, perhaps, from him! He is a tenured professor, with several published books, and has studied and/or taught at several universities around the world. If HE can’t remember being driven or ambitious, how does he explain his own “success?”

But the observation struck a nerve with me on a personal level. I know that many of my former classmates and long-time friends may find it odd that I have “settled” for the life I live. I own a business, but it is a modest one. I have taught and worked in libraries, but I could have chosen to become a professor or administrator or library director; I could have taken any of a number of more “important” or lucrative positions over the years. But I wasn’t driven to “succeed” in that way. Did I waste my potential? Was I lazy or fearful of success? Did I not have the potential, or did I not have the drive to become “more” than what I am?

Ultimately, I am driven (I hope) by the Holy Spirit. Not to become a “successful” person by the world’s standards, or even by my own ambitions, but to become the person God made me to be– a person who reflects His character and His priorities. I hope that I am becoming a “successful” follower of Christ– no matter what that looks like on the surface to classmates, neighbors, or family. I don’t need to be rich, famous, popular, or “important.” I DO need to be developing Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control (Galatians 5:22-23)

This week, as I have been meditating on the idea of “drive” and ambition and “success,” I started thinking about how it relates to prayer. I am driven to become more like Christ, and that includes being driven to live a life of prayer. But what really drives my prayer life? Because my pursuit of prayer and my practice of prayer may be “driven” by something other than pure motives:

Am I driven to pray because I believe that I am “ticking a box?” Have I read the Bible today? Check. Have I prayed some kind of prayer at some point? Check. Have I done a random act of kindness? Check. This is not really a spiritual pursuit of prayer. In fact, it can become idolatry– I can pray because I believe the act of praying makes me “better” or “good enough” to deserve God’s forgiveness or mercy. This drive comes from my own desire to control my growth and behavior. It is not “wrong” to set goals or make lists and stick to them. (After all, we are to be developing discipline and self-control!) But we must be careful not to shift our priorities from God’s discipline to our own lists and habits.
Am I driven to pray when/because others are watching? Am I seeking their approval more than I am seeking God’s face? Am I seeking to be “important” or pious, when God is asking me to be humble and obedient?

Perhaps I am praying out of fear, worry, or doubt. I am driven to pray in the same way that others are driven to consult a horoscope or carry a “lucky charm.” God wants me to trust Him. He knows that I will not always be perfect in Faith, but my prayers should not be double-minded (see James chapter one). I should not be using prayer to “hedge my bets” when faced with adversity. It is good to call out to God if we are frightened or uncertain, but we must develop Faith over fear. And in the end, God also wants us to be joyful in remembering and trusting in His promises
Am I driven by guilt or shame? It is good to confess our sins. But we also have to remember that IF we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us, and to cleanse us (1 John 1:9). If I am still confessing the same sins over and over, is it because I didn’t really trust God to forgive me, or because I didn’t really want to repent and change my ways– I just wanted a “free pass” to keep sinning, but not feel guilty for the consequences?
Maybe I am driven to pray for others because I think MY prayers can save them, or influence their life. Again, this can become idolatry. We have been given the amazing opportunity to pray for others. God already knows their needs– better than we can! And God can do miracles without any input from us. Yet He chooses to give us the privilege of praying and participating in His work! Again, it is commanded that we pray for one another, but we must remember to Whom we are praying. Our prayers for others are part of a circle– God’s Spirit moves us to compassion and concern– we take that compassion and lift up others before His throne. He knows what is best; He will do what is best. He wants us to participate, not to dictate!
Sometimes, I may be driven to “dictate” a particular outcome in my own life. My own ambition may be to become what I want, rather than what God wants for me. This can be a tricky concept. There are ambitions that God lays on our hearts– they are not wrong, but God’s timing may not match ours. I prayed for years to be married; to “find” the “right” mate, and to “be” the right mate. I even prayed that God would change my heart if my ambition was “wrong.” God’s timing was certainly not my timing. The ambition was not wrong, but my patience and trust needed to be developed.
Perhaps I am NOT driven to pray…maybe I lack the focus or lack the drive in my walk with Christ because I am drifting away from my first Love. I am driven to seek after something other than intimacy with my Creator. Maybe I am so content with my life “as it is” that I am not seeking direction and correction from the Holy Spirit. Perhaps I do not have the compassion and drive to pray for others because I do not see them fully as God sees them. Perhaps I do not trust God fully with the “little” things in my life because I do not see my need for His guidance.

I think it is not a bad thing to wrestle periodically with questions like this. Maybe today is the right time to ask, “Am I driven to pray? What drives me to my knees? What should be driving me there?”

August 9, 2023 0

One Man’s Junk…

The story is told of an old, worthless-looking violin that came up for auction. No one wanted to bid on it. The auctioneer began with a modest call for three dollars. No bids. Two dollars? Nothing. One dollar? Surely someone would spend just a single dollar. The violin was in working order. It had all its strings and a bow. No one was willing to spend one dollar for an old violin?

Suddenly, an old man came forward and took the violin off the table where it lay. He picked up the bow and began to play a famous violin concerto. In the hands of a master musician, the old violin came to life. Its haunting and soaring music brought the entire room to tears. The old master came to the end of the piece, and there was a hushed silence as he lay the bow and violin back on the table and returned to his seat. Clearing his throat, the auctioneer started a new bid– one thousand dollars. Several people placed a bid. Two thousand? Three? What had been worthless in the eyes of so many just minutes ago suddenly had great value.

That’s a nice story, but it rarely happens that way in real life. I run a resale shop– antiques, collectibles, vintage and retro items, and yes, what most would probably call “junk.” People come in and look around– sometimes they find a piece or two that they like. Sometimes, it’s priced at just a dollar or two; sometimes the price is a little higher. Some people think my prices are too high; others find them on the low side. They think they are getting a real bargain, and they are convinced they will be able to resell the item for much more on-line or elsewhere. They may be right. They may be wrong. Most of them are just doing what I’ve already done– find an item that seems to be undervalued, and sell it to someone else who may value it more highly.

“One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.” That saying applies to many of the objects in my store. But it should never apply to a person. We tend to place a value on someone else based on many superficial factors. We judge people by the way they look– their clothing or their hair or the expression on their face when we first meet. Sometimes we judge them by their skin color or the way they speak– the words they use or if the have an “accent.” We judge some people to be smarter or more important based on who else pays attention to them or how much money they have (or don’t have). We judge their talents and experience based on hearsay or gossip. And we allow others to place their “value” on us. As though some people deserve more attention, more resources, or more love than others.

God sees through all the tarnish, the guilt, the low esteem, and shame that we carry around. Each one of us is equally precious in God’s eyes. There is no “junk” in God’s economy, when it comes to a human life. No matter how dirty, broken, used, misused, patched up, trampled on, or worthless we may seem to others (or to ourselves) we are priceless and cherished by our Heavenly Father.

Jesus sought out the “junk” people of his time– lepers, widows, children, the blind and lame, the sick and weary, diseased, depressed, and demon-possessed. He touched the untouchables, loved the unlovable, and forgave the unforgiveable. Even when He was condemned to die as a criminal, and rejected by His friends and followers, Jesus remembered the Father’s love for others.

In this Holy Week, I pray that I would not lose sight of God’s Amazing Love for us. When we were His enemies– fallen, ruined by Sin–“junk”, Jesus was willing to reach out, to walk with the marginalized and sick, and more than all that, to DIE in order to make us joint heirs and give us the glories of Eternal Life with Him! And when Jesus was taken down off the cross– broken, dead, and “worthless”, God raised Him to Life and gave Him a “Name that is above all names” (Philippians 2).

We pray to a God who cherishes our very thoughts–a God who delights to hear from us! What a powerful thought. What an Amazing Love!

April 7, 2023 0

As Iron Sharpens Iron

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17

Do you have a friend who “sharpens” you? Someone who keeps you honest? Someone who challenges you? Someone who holds you accountable? The Bible has much to say about relationships that we form– and some of it may surprise us. Earlier in Proverbs 27, the writer says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” (v.5 NIV) and, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (v. 6 NKJV).

I don’t know about you, but I want friends who encourage, friends who make me feel good about myself; friends who make life more pleasant and uncomplicated. I don’t enjoy hearing criticism, or having my beliefs and ideas challenged. I don’t enjoy conflict, and I tend to avoid it whenever possible. However, I also know the truth of verse 6 from experience–I can trust the constructive criticism of a good friend, even when it stings in the moment. A loving friend will take the risk of saying what needs to be said, and not just what I want to hear.

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There are three points that struck me recently as I came across these verses:

“Iron sharpens iron”–nothing gets sharpened by a marshmallow, and an iron blade that is left unsharpened will either lose its edge over time, or rust from disuse. We may not like conflict. But we need to be disciplined, and that means that we need to be held accountable. We need to be challenged and sharpened, or we will grow dull or rusty. God can use the “fire” of circumstances to soften our hard hearts, but He often uses other people to “spark” us into action. Left to my own devices, I can grow rusty and useless. I can feel sorry about a bad or sinful habit– I can confess it, and make plans to change. But I am more likely to grow and develop positive habits and actions if there is someone keeping me honest. I can have good ideas; I can know what the Bible says– but I can also fall into deception, lazy thinking, and pride. A good friend can help keep me “sharp” in both actions and thinking. We are not meant to do life alone, and God does not want “Holy Hermits.” He also does not want us to be so timid and accepting that we fail to sharpen others. It is really hard to risk a friendship by speaking the truth–but NOT speaking is sometimes more damaging to the friendship– and to our friends!
“Iron” is what sharpens “Iron”–We need to seek out truth and wisdom, and that’s what we need to offer others, as well. We should not waste time on petty disagreements, trying to “win” every point in an argument, or pointing out every minor fault. We also need to have mutual respect; being willing to listen, willing to let a few sparks fly, and willing to respect another’s strengths as we develop our own. This verse is not about letting someone else dominate you or shut down your voice, just as it is not about dominating or “fixing” someone else by forcing your opinions (even if grounded in the truth) down their throat.
“So one person sharpens another.” Notice it doesn’t say whether the person is a believer, a dear, personal friend, or a relative. Any person can “sharpen” us. I may disagree with another person– a coworker, a peer, a neighbor–and still respect that their ideas, their words, even their criticism.

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How does this tie into our pursuit of prayer? Conflict and testing can make us better or bitter–in this analogy, it can make us humble or it can make us brittle. A humble person will be shaped and sharpened. A brittle person will snap or break.

When I am challenged or criticized, do I take it to God or do I take it to heart? Do I ask God to reveal truth or have I already decided what I want to believe? Not all criticism is constructive; not all challenges are meant to sharpen us. Do I react in anger? Do I become sullen? Do I crumble into a puddle of doubt? Or do I see it as an opportunity to become sharper, to change course, or to refine my thinking? Conflict and criticism do not happen in a vacuum–God is as close as a prayer, and willing to give wisdom, discernment, and strength!

How do I react to the other person? Do I become bitter toward them? Do I seek for ways to repay them with criticism or prove myself to them? Do I pray for THEM to change, without looking at my own responsibility? Do I appreciate the risk they may have taken to speak up? (Or do I appreciate the reasons they may have for feeling or thinking as they do, even if I am convinced they are in error?) Can I offer thanks to God for the way He may be using that person to sharpen me–even if that is not their intent? Can I pray for God to bless and strengthen them, even if we don’t agree?

This is all easier to write than to put into practice. But I can say from experience that God has often used the most unlikely people to “sharpen” me in unlikely ways and unlikely moments, and I am so grateful for the “faithful” (and temporary!) wounds of friends. I am also grateful for others who challenge me to defend the Faith, and who open their hearts to me– even when we clash sometimes.

August 12, 2022 0

Do You Not Know? Have You Not Heard?

Within the last couple of weeks, several major news stories have broken in the United States, where I live. The Supreme Court has ruled on several major cases, with “game-changing” results. Important national issues, such as gun control, abortion, and freedom of religious expression were involved, and many Americans are either elated or upset by the decisions that were rendered.

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My husband and I don’t have television; no 24-hour news channels, or opinionated talk shows, or even late-night comedian commentators reminding us of the “big news” of the day. But we have internet, and radio, and we talk to people who have access to TV. We would have to live under a rock to be uninformed of what has been happening. Yet we find that many people who have access to “news” have little or no understanding of what these decisions actually mean for our nation or its citizens. The Supreme Court did not “abolish” abortion; it did not eliminate gun controls or restrictions. It did not “bring prayer back into the schools.” What we “know” and what we have heard are not always the same.

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The prophet Isaiah, writing to the people of Jerusalem (Judah), repeats the phrase, “Do you not know? Have you not heard?” The Jewish people were supposed to know God’s eternal character. They were supposed to have heard His laws, and heard the stories of His faithfulness throughout the years. But the message had become garbled, distorted, and even lost. The people were going to be disciplined– they would go into exile; yet God would bring them comfort and forgiveness and restoration. Isaiah reminds his readers and listeners of God’s timeless character– His power and authority; His compassion and healing; His care and His discipline for those He loves.

21 Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
    Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
²²He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
    and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
    and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
²³He brings princes to naught
    and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.
²⁴No sooner are they planted,
    no sooner are they sown,
    no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
    and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.
²⁵“To whom will you compare me?
    Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.
²⁶Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
    Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
    and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
    not one of them is missing.
²⁷Why do you complain, Jacob?
    Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord;
    my cause is disregarded by my God”?
²⁸Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
³¹but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:21-31 NIV

It’s not that Isaiah’s fellow citizens had never heard about God; it’s not that they had no knowledge of God’s laws or of His character. But they had become complacent; they had knowledge, but no understanding; no insight. They knew about God; they no longer KNEW God.

How often do we hear a bit of news and react without understanding all of its implications? How often do we jump to conclusions about what God is like, or what His will might be? How many times do we assume that what we think or feel comes from the Bible, without consulting it? How often do we pray, not that God’s will should be done, but that God should do our will?

Violence (including shootings), abortion, religious intolerance and persecution– all have been around for centuries. Human laws and justice have a long history of being twisted, ignored, amended, rewritten, forgotten, and supplanted. Supreme Court rulings can be overturned; laws can be rewritten or struck down; cultural expectations and trends will change. While I may feel cause to celebrate some of the Supreme Court’s recent rulings, or be discouraged by others, now or in the future, I cannot put my hope and trust in them. But I can put my hope and trust in the power and authority of God! God’s rulings are absolute and eternal.

And if I hear nothing else today; if I know nothing else for certain– I can rely on His truth and His faithfulness forever!

July 1, 2022 0

Tag: opinions