Tag: past

Prayer and Marriage

As a young girl, I prayed about being married. Most of my prayers were pretty shallow– more about the wedding than the marriage. I dreamed of dresses and decorations, flowers and a shadowy “prince charming” type of groom, whisking me off into the sunset and living happily, dreamily ever after.

The years went by…MANY years! I prayed and dreamed through my twenties; I prayed and hoped through my thirties; and I prayed with less hope and more desperation in my early forties! But my prayers changed as I saw marriages around me. I saw many marriages that were solid, even through tough times. And I saw many “fairy tale” marriages crumble. I saw a lot of heartbreak, anger, and tears, as people who had once vowed to love one another “’til death us do part” fought over furniture and who got the kids over minor holiday weekends. I heard from frustrated wives who felt like they had made a huge mistake, marrying the “man of their dreams.” Some of them compounded the mistake by looking around for a replacement “Mr. Right.”

Instead of praying about a wedding, I began praying about marriage. Instead of praying for “Mr. Right,” I started praying that God would help me become “Mrs. Right.” And I prayed that God would show me what I should do for others during the time that I was single, as well as what I could do for him in a marriage relationship.

Thirteen years ago, I married my husband, David. He isn’t “Prince Charming,” though he can be charming and noble at times. He is, as I am, a flawed human being. David was married before, and he carries the hurt of betrayal and loss of trust from the past. I carry the hurt of being rejected and passed over for so many years. Marriage doesn’t make the past disappear. Marriage is not a “cure” for such hurts.

But marriage is more. God instituted marriage from the beginning for a man and woman to come together in a mysteriously intimate relationship that models what God’s love is like. (See Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31 and others.) David and I don’t exist to “complete” each other. We don’t cease to be our own individual selves. And yet, we are not the same as we were before our marriage. We are more than the sum of our parts– we are ourselves, yet we are one– the Fairs. He is David Fair, and I am Lila Fair, but WE are THE Fairs. And spiritually, we are also one WITH Christ– as individuals and as a couple. We walk forward as One. We make decisions together. We share hopes and dreams, as well as struggles and disappointments. We fight sometimes– not against each other, but against differences or misunderstandings that could weaken US as a couple and weaken our relationship with Christ.

I don’t pray any less often or less fervently now that I am married, but I pray daily about my marriage. I thank God that He was with me through all the “single” years. I thank God that He continues to work in our marriage– that David and I know more about love and faith, hope and fulfillment than we did 13 years ago! I pray that David and I will grow together for many years to come. I pray that we will impact our family as we live out what a Godly marriage is supposed to be. I pray that our marriage will inspire young men and women who are looking (as I once was) to see what a solid marriage involves– that the way we talk to each other, and behave, and work, and live will give hope to future couples, and glory to God.

Marriage and prayer go hand in hand. Prayer cannot guarantee that marriage will be easy–or even than it will survive. Marriage takes two people praying and walking in the same direction! But marriage–and life– without prayer will never be all that God intends it to be.

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Alpha and Omega

What does it mean when I pray to “the Alpha and the Omega?”

“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.” Revelation 1:8 (NIV)

God exists. He is not bound by space or time. He was, and is, and will always be. And He is LORD of all that is, or was, or is to come. He is the source of all things, and they do not exist before or after or beyond Him.

As that relates to prayer– there is NOTHING that can take God by surprise; nothing that can exhaust His energy or His resources; nothing He has begun that won’t be completed; nothing lost that cannot be recovered or renewed. I can pray to Him about the most hopeless situation, knowing that God has already seen it from beginning to end.

He is Alpha– “The Beginning”–Except that God has no beginning or end. We do, and we understand time as a linear function. Everything else that we experience has a beginning, a middle, and an end in time. Dawn signals the beginning of the day; sunset marks the end of the day. Weeks, months, and years all have a beginning and an end. Our life cycle has a beginning and an end– we are conceived and born; we live; and we die. But we have a God-given curiosity to know “beyond” our own beginning. We study to see what came before us– history, genealogy, archaeology, paleontology– we want to know where we came from. And this is distinctly human. Cats don’t wonder about their lineage; dolphins don’t scour the seabed looking for bones and shells that may tell them about their ancestors. Humans, created in the image of God, want to understand and experience eternity past. And that is what God is– He was before the beginning. He is the source of our beginning. The Apostle John sums it up:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were created through Him, and without Him nothing was created that was created. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of mankind. 5 The light shines in darkness, but the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:1-5 (Modern English Version)

He is Omega–“The Ending”–God has no end. But we do (at least our earthly life does). We do not want to think of death as the “end.” Scientists are constantly trying to explain what happens “after” death. And in spite of those who claim that there is “nothing,” most people have a hope (or dread) of what comes next. Even those who do not “know” God have a sense of immortality and eternity. We obsess about our “impact” our “legacy” on earth. How will we be remembered by those who come after? How long will our name still be part of someone’s memory or history? What is our ultimate destiny? Our ultimate “end” is to be with God. It is our purpose. It is how our earthly lives will be judged to have had real meaning. Was God our beginning and our end? Was He our first and last priority? Our best and highest thought? Heaven awaits us. There will be an “end” to life as we know it. But for those who trust in Jesus, there will be no endless darkness or soulless existence:

No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. 4 They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. 5 There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. Revelation 22:3-5 (NIV)

When I pray to God, I’m not praying to the God of the Old Testament, the God of Ages Past, or the God of my parents– well, I AM– but more than that, I am praying to the God who always was, who surrounds me every second of NOW, and who will always be exactly as He always has been– Almighty, All-Knowing, Holy, Abundant, Gracious, Loving, Trustworthy, and All-Sufficient.

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An Old Prayer for a New Year

Our Father,
Who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done
In Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom,
The power, and the glory,
Forever and ever,
Amen

Jesus taught His disciples to pray when He was on Earth. It is a simple prayer, and it is meant to be used as a guideline.

As we enter a new year, we discard many of the “old” things in our lives, but I’d like to take a close look at how this “old” prayer can breathe newness and vitality into 2025.

Our Father— When we pray, we are praying to a very personal God; one who loves us each intimately. But we are also praying to the God who loves our neighbor, and our “enemy.” He is OUR Father. We can, indeed we must pray for others as we would pray for ourselves. And we must see God as our Father– the one who has both Love for us AND Authority over us. He is not removed from us, but He is not listening for us to dictate to Him what He should do.

Who art in Heaven–Yes, Heaven seems far removed from Earth, and God remains removed from us in the sense that we cannot see him with our eyes or hear him with our ears. But God IS in Heaven– He sits on the throne; He reigns; He rules, now and forevermore. God is not trapped here on Earth; he’s not just passing through on His way to some other galaxy; some other reality. He IS and will always be accessible, glorious, all-knowing, and all-powerful over all that we can ask or imagine (see Ephesians 3:19-20)

Hallowed be Thy Name–The very first three of the Ten Commandments all deal with the Holiness of God and the Sacredness of His Name. When we lose sight of WHO HE IS– when we think of Him as “the man upstairs,” or any other image that fails to acknowledge HIS awesome and majestic Holiness, we lose the very power of prayer. Prayer is not powerful because of WHAT we pray or who we pray for, or even in relation to who WE are in relation to God–it is powerful because of His Name, and His Character, and His Authority.

Thy kingdom come–We have a tendency to pray for the kingdom WE want; the outcomes we want; the visions that we have. Prayer is about more than that– it is about being willing and eager to listen for the outcomes GOD has planned, for HIS kingdom, HIS plans, HIS timing, HIS justice, HIS healing, HIS mercy, and HIS final word.

Thy will be done in Earth as it is in Heaven— Earth, and all the systems we know on earth, are broken and tainted by Sin. When we pray, we pray for something we have not ever experienced fully– that we would know God’s perfect peace; perfect fulfillment; perfect righteousness. Often our prayers are limited by what we know, including the brokenness of our own visions and desires. Prayer should take us beyond those limitations. We need to be open to what HE can do, even when it doesn’t match our expectations.

Give us this day our daily bread— What if we were content to let God give us, not what we want, or wish, but what we NEED for each day? Just enough strength and healing to get through one day of Chemo treatments; just enough peace to deal with the uncertainties we face in the next 24 hours; just enough grace to witness to our co-worker, without expecting an immediate positive response? At the same time, what if we are open to God providing enough “daily bread” to feed 5,000! God is sovereign to give us according to the NEED He sees.

And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. When we pray this– REALLY pray this– we must examine our motives for prayer and our actions toward others. Do we want God to forgive us in the same manner and to the same degree that we forgive others? This should be a transformative prayer every time we say it.

And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil— Jesus never said that God tempts us, such that we should have to ask Him not to. But we are likely to walk straight into temptation if left to our own devices. We need God to lead us away from temptation and protect us– deliver us– from the evil that we will encounter in this broken world. There is a deeper prayer here, as well. We tend to think of temptation and evil coming from various people that we encounter. The prayer here is not to protect us from other people, or the influence of others, but to lead us away from our own desires and protect us from Evil. It may help us with forgiveness (above) when we remember that our true enemy is not an individual person, but the Evil working in them.

For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory Forever and Ever— We must be careful not to pray for our own kingdom (selfish desires) our own power (separate from God), or our own glory. God wants to know what is in our heart, and He wants to see our heart being discipled and shaped into an accurate reflection of His humility, His mercy, and His Love– that how His Kingdom operates!

AMEN!–“May it be so.” Our prayers, like our lives, are not perfect. We have not achieved or imagined all that we “should” pray for. God’s Grace is sufficient to cover when we ask for more (or less) than God has planned for us. Our spirit should trust that God will continue the work He is doing to make us more like Him as we pursue His will and His Kingdom (see Philippians 1:6)

This year, we will be tempted to try many “new” things. Some will be good for us; others may not be in our best interest. I hope that this year, we will grow in our pursuit of prayer– that we may find new ways to draw close to God in prayer. But let us not abandon the fundamentals that are included in this “old” and dear prayer of our Lord Jesus.

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Remember..

I love flipping through old photo albums. I’m reminded of special times and special people. Sometimes, the memories make me a little sad, as I see familiar faces of those who have passed away, or times of struggle or stress. But most of the time, memories fill my heart with gladness and comfort, strength and resolve.

I’ve been reading through the Psalms lately, and many of them speak of remembering. When God’s people faced struggles, they were told to remember the great stories of the past– the plagues of Egypt, the parting of the Red Sea, the conquest of the Promised Land, and many other times when God gave miraculous provision, restoration, and victory. These songs were not just a matter of recapturing the “glory days” of old– they were part of God’s command to remember and pass along God’s deeds and His laws to each new generation.

In the Psalms, we are also encouraged to remember our own past actions– both righteous and rebellious– and God’s faithfulness in spite of our failures. We are to remember God’s correction and discipline; God’s forgiveness, and His Mercy– not just in our own lives, but over many generations and throughout the years.

God instituted festivals, and rites, and Holy Days of remembrance– special times set aside for remembrance and meditation, because it is important to Him that we never lose our focus. We can get so wrapped up in the present (or worrying about the future) that we forget God’s timeless and eternal nature.

Even Jesus, before He went to Calvary, instituted a new rite of remembrance– Communion– in which He called His disciples to “do this in remembrance of me.”

Today, I want to pray a prayer of remembrance. I want to spend time in worship and gratitude for who God IS, but also for who He always HAS BEEN.
Thank you for your eternal faithfulness, and for your eternal plan of Salvation. Thank you for the ways you have provided in my life, in the lives of those who came before, and in the lives of generations of faithful saints. May I remember your Great Love and Power as I face uncertainties in the day ahead. May the remembrance of you lead me to trust you completely, follow you boldly, and share you with those I meet.

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What We Keep…

I’ve been posting a lot lately about going through my Mom’s “stuff.” Mom was a saver– a pack rat– a hoarder, really. She kept boxes and piles of useless things. But she also kept things that have value to those she left behind. My siblings and I have found old photographs, momentos, letters, documents, etc., that bring the past alive again..not just our past, but our family roots going back generations.

My mother with her mom and younger sister c. 1944

What prompts us to keep such memories; to hold tightly to faded papers, worn objects, shadows of days gone by? Sometimes, it is an unhealthy focus on past memories– good and bad– that keep us in the grip of “glory days” or old and festering wounds. But there IS a value to keeping a record of the past.

When I was young, we had dozens of books around the house, including Bible Story books. The stories of Abraham and Sarah, Isaac, Moses, Samson and Samuel, King David, Queen Esther, Elijah, and then Jesus, his disciples, the Apostle Paul…they were mesmerizing– and very instructive! God didn’t just give us Ten Commandments and a list of rules to follow. He left us with a rich tapestry of stories of real people, and their very real adventures. He has given us Parables, and Psalms, Prophets and Promises– the Bible is a living book that speaks to each new generation with timeless truths. I learned about the Faithfulness of God, His Holiness, and His Mercy in those pages.

The stories and photos that get passed down in families can also be instructive. I now have a baby picture of the grandfather I never got to meet, as well as a photo of him as a young man, and another candid shot of him wearing a milk bucket on his head (He was a dairy farmer)! I can see and sense his humor and love of family in new ways, and appreciate the way his life and early death helped shaped my own dad’s life. I have letters my great-grandparents wrote to each other when they were first married and starting their family. I have some of Mom’s letters when she was struggling as a single mother on a limited income. Many of these items I will keep–not only as a reminder of the past that shaped me, but to pass on to future generations. Other photos, letters, and objects have been given to certain other family members– it is part of the legacy THEY will pass on. Still other items I will let go– they have served their purpose and other items will take their place.

The little country church I attended as a child.

It has been tempting, with the amount of “stuff” that my Mom kept, to just throw everything out. Much of it has to be cleaned off, sorted, identified– and room must be found to keep it! So I also have to look around at what I have been hanging on to, and ask, “Why?” What lessons to I want to pass on? What objects tell an instructive story about my life? What impact will I have on others in the years to come?

One of the most difficult things to go through are the photos and letters my Mother kept. She kept nearly every letter and greeting card she ever received. They meant that much to her. Not the actual cards and paper– the thoughts, the love and connection–the people they represent were her greatest treasures on this earth. And I can’t keep them all. I don’t have space, and many of the people are strangers to me– her elementary classmates, co-workers from years gone by, great-aunts–people long since dead and, with my mom’s passing, forgotten by most. But I will keep some, because they are a testament to Mom’s love of others– her deep and abiding love for everyone who touched her life, and allowed her to touch theirs. I have thrown out, recycled, or given away many of Mom’s clothes and books, and I’m working to give away the thousands of unused greeting cards she had stockpiled but never sent. But most of all, I will keep the stories– stories of God’s faithfulness in her life; stories of how He worked in and through her life to touch hundreds of others; stories of how God’s Love blooms in the simple acts of kindness and baby steps of Faith; in the ordinary joys and tears and minor miracles of daily life.

And I will hold tightly to the stories of my childhood– of Moses and the Burning Bush; of Jesus the Good Shepherd; of David trusting God to face Goliath; of the women finding an empty tomb on the first Easter Morning. One of the pictures I inherited is a print of Jesus on the Road to Emmaus. Two men are walking along, talking to a third man. Such a simple act. Such an ordinary occurrence. But this is no ordinary walk– the man in the middle is the Risen Christ–the One who conquered death to bring eternal life to the two unsuspecting travelers. The print hangs on my wall now. The print itself is not of much material value– but the story! That is worth my life– to keep, to share, to cherish, to proclaim to those yet to come!

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What to Throw Away…

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also

Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)

When my mom died earlier this year, she left a house filled with “stuff.” Mom saved EVERYTHING! She saved old calendars, expired drivers’ licenses, used peanut butter jars, all her children’s baby clothes and shoes, graduation and wedding invitations, Christmas Cards, broken cameras, and so much more. She owned a seven-bedroom farmhouse, but she lived for many years in just a few square feet in four different rooms. She slept on half a twin mattress; the other half was covered with boxes. She ate on just a patch of her kitchen table; the rest was piled over with papers and “stuff.” There was a narrow path through the dining room to the bathroom and bedroom. Mom was a hoarder.

Mom was also stubbornly independent, and refused to get rid of things or have others help her throw things away. It contributed to her falling and breaking her hip, and later falling and breaking her leg. We eventually persuaded her to move to assisted living and later to a small house that she could navigate safely. But she would not sell the old house or let us throw away her “treasures.”

Shortly before she died, Mom gave us permission to begin the difficult task of “going through” her house. She joked that we would all hate her after she died and we had to finish the task. We joked back that we would never be able to finish in our own lifetimes! Mom knew that she should have thrown things away. But she had chosen to live surrounded by the memories of broken toys and yellowed letters of yesterday.

Well, the house is almost empty. We decided to sell it, and had to clean it out so it could be shown. The bulk of the work fell to my brother and his wife. They are retired, and they live closest to the old house. But even so, it has taken months, and tons of sweat, to find the floors and walls and windows that were covered and blocked by “stuff.” There are still a few pieces of furniture and some items in the basement, but hundreds of boxes, bags, crates, and containers had to be taken to my brother’s house, my house, my sister’s house, donation centers, recycling centers, and, sadly, to the dump.

We had very few “things” left from my father. His family had lived through a house fire when he was a young man, and he learned early that even precious things cannot be saved. He tried to throw things out; Mom would “rescue” some from the trash and bring them back in! He saved a few momentos, mostly photos, and when he died, he was no longer there to advise Mom about what must be put in the trash. But even his “stuff” was hidden among worthless old shoes and dishes and old boxes.

My Mom DID have several treasures– at least to us. She had saved school papers from our childhood, birth and baptism certificates, photos, my dad’s old work uniform, my grandfather’s Navy cap, afghans and doilies my grandmother made, and several worn and tattered Bibles she had so faithfully studied over the years. And Mom was generous in her own way– she sent out thousands of greeting cards and gave wonderful and thoughtful gifts to her many friends and family members. But she kept broken things, rusty and dusty things, used-up things, and things that were useless. And the hardest part of sorting through over 20,000 square feet of “stuff” was finding and determining what to keep and what to throw away.

Life is a lot like that house full of “stuff. It is full of memories, experiences, hopes, dreams, guilt, fears, relationships, emotions, and disappointments. And we have to make choices about what to treasure and what to throw away. Here are some guidelines I’ve learned through my recent experience:

  • Treasure the lesson– throw away the bitterness.
  • Keep the memories– throw away the t-shirt.
  • Save the relationship– throw away the anger.
  • Keep the recipe– throw away the container/magazine it came with.
  • Eat the chocolate–but throw away the fancy box it came in.
  • Throw away the broken dishes, the worn towels, and the pot without a handle.
  • Treasure the stories– trash the dusty, musty books (Yes, that’s coming from a librarian!)
  • Don’t just worth on appearance alone–DON’T throw away an opportunity to show kindness where it is least expected and most needed. There may be treasure among the rubbish!
  • Use the stationery you got for Christmas–throw away the wrapping paper.
  • Throw away last year’s calendar– those days are gone. Make space for this year.
  • Keep your promises–let go of your disappointments.
  • Hold your dreams loosely– be ready to accept what IS as a gift; what WILL BE as a mystery.
  • Treasure the empty spaces in your house and in your life– throw away the extra baggage.
  • Keep space for new blessings–pass the old blessings on to others.
  • Things can never take the place of time spent with the people you love. I appreciate some of the things Mom left behind, but the real treasure was the wisdom she imparted, the laughter and tears we shared over the years, and the faith she lived out as she loved others.

Mom’s joke about us hating her after she was gone– that didn’t happen. And our joking prediction was wrong, too. It was frustrating to go through everything; it was hard work and it might not have been necessary if Mom had chosen differently. But it wasn’t wasted work. We still have dozens of boxes to sort through, but I am finding small miracles and memories (and lessons!) in each one. Mom may not have been able to judge what she should throw away, but she did know what to keep above all!

I hope I am learning what to throw away, as well as what to give away and what to keep. Mostly, I hope I am learning to let go of the things that might prevent me from accepting better things. God will not always take away the things that hold us back, or bury us in the past. But He asks us to store up our treasure, not in a house or a storage barn, or a safe deposit box, but with Him! Things will break, rust, rot, and be lost. Feelings and thoughts can keep us trapped in the past, and blind to the present and future. But God’s gifts– Faith, Hope, Love, Peace, Patience, Discipline, Forgiveness–these last forever, and never lose their value!

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The Longest Day

Today is the Summer Solstice. In the Northern Hemisphere, it marks the “longest day” of the year. However, today will have exactly the same number of minutes and hours as any other day. The difference is the amount of sunlight/daylight hours, as opposed to hours of night/darkness. And even this varies by where we live in relation to the equator. Those who live close to the equator will see little difference today– those near the North Pole will not see the sun dip below the horizon at all.

In some ways, today is NOT the longest day of my year. One of the longest days for me so far this year was the day my mother died. Even though it was February, when the days are “short,” that day was filled with questions, emotions, and obligations. Time seemed to stand still for a while, as we took in the reality that she had left us to go Home, and then time seemed to expend for all the aftermath of death. Who needed to be called and contacted? What would we need to do in the coming days and weeks to plan a funeral, notify authorities, pay bills and close accounts, etc.? How would we notify family and friends without “missing” someone? Each tick of the clock seemed to bring new thoughts and emotions.

I was thinking about time recently. We are still busy cleaning up Mom’s house and settling her estate. Days seem to pass quickly now, as we have deadlines, and much work to keep us busy. I’m glad for the extended daylight hours, but I’m also tired! Most days– even longer days!– I feel like I’m falling behind. And I find many hours are “wasted” on unimportant things; inconsequential things. Will I spend my time today any differently or more efficiently than any of the “shorter” days to come?

The Bible says a lot about time. (https://www.openbible.info/topics/time) We are creatures bound by time. We have a beginning and an end; we have a limited life span. And we do not know those limits. We cannot break the bonds of time to live longer lives, or to live our lives in the distant past or future. That is the “stuff” of science fiction and daydreams. We cannot bargain for more time, whether we are thirty and diagnosed with cancer or ALS or another terminal illness, or we are ninety-two and long to reach our centennial birthday. Even our individual days are dictated by the march of time. We cannot live our days backward. We cannot stop the clock or stretch out a certain hour over any other. Instead, we must make the most of every minute; every day that we are given.

But we were not created just for one short lifespan. Our bodies will wear out and die, but our spirits were created for eternity. There will be no “longest” or “shortest” days in Heaven or Hell. There will be no sunsets, no endings or “do-overs”, no deadlines. For the Christian, this is a great comfort. My Mom has said her last “Goodbye.” She never has to worry about deadlines, unfinished tasks, or “putting off until tomorrow..” My grieving is over a temporary loss; a brief “au revoir”, rather than a gaping chasm of eternal separation.

But there will be a very different “longest day” for those who do not choose Christ in this life. And that day will be one of endless darkness, endless despair. There will be no sunrise, no rest, no refreshment or renewal, no “tomorrow.” Today, I pray that we would “number our days” in this life (Psalm 90:12), and put them to good use. I pray that I would reflect God’s love to those who are living in the shadow of that endless darkness. I pray that the Holy Spirit might shine a light (through me and through others) that would draw people to Him.

There will be many hours of light today, but the days will grow shorter. The seasons remind us that time on Earth is fickle and fleeting. May we live wisely in this “longest” day of the year!

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Debt Free!

7“Blessed are those

    whose transgressions are forgiven,

    whose sins are covered.

8 Blessed is the one

    whose sin the Lord will never count against them.”

Romans 4:7-8 (NIV) via biblegateway.com (See also Psalm 32:1-2)

Ask me about my most embarrassing moment, or my greatest failure..better yet, ask one of my friends or relatives! We tend to hang on to our past, especially our mistakes, our hurts, our missed opportunities, and our shortcomings. When I taught public speaking in a local high school, I heard horror stories about why “I can’t get in front of people and talk.” The fear of public speaking rates higher in some studies than the fear of Death! And often, the fear is based on an incident from early childhood of people laughing at a small, but very public mistake. Such moments haunt us.

Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

As we grow older, we let our regrets live large– those things we “would have, should have, could have” done, or the things we shouldn’t have said, but can never un-say. And even if we try to move on or forget the past, there always seems to be someone who cannot let go, cannot forgive, or cannot forgive. Lives have been stunted and ruined by the ghosts of “what happened” when…

Photo by Wildan Zainul Faki on Pexels.com

God is all-knowing. There is nothing we’ve ever done, said, or even thought, that He “missed,” ignored, or “lost track of.” God has total recall over all the centuries and eons of time– past, present, and even future! And yet, God offers to forgive ALL our sins, and to “remember them no more.” God will never bring up “that time when you disappointed me…” God will never look at you with condemnation over anything you have confessed and repented over. It’s not that God will never be able to recall what happened; but He will no longer “charge it to your account.” He has chosen to pay the consequences in His own Blood, so that you can be debt free.

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Imagine if you had no bills. If all your mortgages, utility payments, credit card debt, medical bills–everything that you were responsible to pay– all were stamped “Paid in full.” You never had to worry about interest payments, late fees, repossession, evening phone calls from bill collectors, credit scores, etc. What a weight off your shoulders! Imagine if you had no reason to fear getting in front of a room full of people to speak or sing or give a presentation– no fear that others would judge your every hesitation, or whether your tie was straight, or your hair was mussed, or you stumbled over a word or phrase or tripped on the steps leading up to the podium. Imagine being accepted and embraced by the very one who, by rights, should be your most severe critic.

Sometimes, when we see God as our critic, our judge, or our opponent, we’re not seeing God as He really is– we’re seeing a reflection of ourselves– harsh, judgmental, unwilling to forgive others; unwilling to forgive ourselves. The very first deception of the Enemy was to distort God’s image from Creator and Sustainer to Judge and Tyrant. Yet Satan is called “The Accuser,” not God. God’s Holy Spirit may convict us of Sin– causing us to see that we have done wrong– but His purpose is always to correct and restore us, not to haunt and condemn us. Even the “worst” sins are not beyond God’s ability or willingness to forgive. Jesus forgave His accusers, His betrayers, and His executioners from the Cross!

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Forgiveness is not easy. Sin is real; it has real and terrible consequences. Sin hurts, humiliates, victimizes, and traumatizes. And its effects do not simply vanish if we say, “I forgive.” But hanging on to the pain and anger keeps us from finding and experiencing the healing and wholeness that Jesus offers. Forgiveness does not mean that the sin, or the pain, never happened– God will not “forget” injustice just because we forgive the unjust. Forgiveness means that we no longer need to try to collect the debt from someone else– because God has already promised to pay it back with interest! And forgiving yourself doesn’t mean that your past actions didn’t happen or didn’t cause pain. In fact, whenever there are opportunities to atone for past actions, or ask forgiveness from those we have wronged, we should take them. But where such opportunities are impossible for us, even when we cannot see how such pain could be redeemed or relationships restored, God has promised that we can move beyond our past mistakes and live a new , blessed, and debt-free life.

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When we approach God in prayer, we come as we are– people with past mistakes, very human emotions, including doubt and fear, and unworthy to stand on our own before a perfect God. But it is God who invites us to come to Him– debt free and embraced by His limitless Grace!

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When God Uses a “Wasted” Opportunity

God’s ways are NOT our ways. And often, we can become discouraged by things that have happened in our past or things that seem like obstacles in the present. But our vision is limited by both time and space. We can’t see things from the outside looking in, and we can’t see things unfolding before they happen. Instead, we use our imagination, which can give us a vision that is wildly out of perspective.

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Take the case of Jonah (see Jonah 1-4). Jonah was given a clear mission from God– go to the great city of Nineveh and give them a message of judgment. Jonah could not “see” the outcome, but he could imagine a lot of things that made him run in the opposite direction! Nineveh was the capital city of his arch-enemies. The Assyrian armies had swept through Jonah’s land, and had very likely killed several of his family members. They were notoriously violent and Jonah must have presumed that there would be great danger involved in traveling into Nineveh, let alone proclaiming a message of certain doom!

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Jonah didn’t just ignore God’s command– he went as far as he could in the opposite direction. He wasted the opportunity to see what God had planned, choosing instead to run away. He boarded a ship for Tarshish. He probably thought that God would have to use someone else, or that He would bring judgment upon Nineveh without any warning. At least he, Jonah, would be safe. But God’s ways were not Jonah’s ways. God brought a fierce storm that threatened to sink the ship. The sailors were terrified, but Jonah felt the weight of his guilt. He told the sailors to throw him into the sea, and God would save them from the storm. Though the sailors probably felt they were sending Jonah to his doom, they obeyed. And they were amazed as the storm disappeared! Nothing about Jonah’s words or actions caused these sailors to see God’s glory, but see it, they did. And they worshipped

Jonah missed the opportunity to see how God worked “around” him to amaze the sailors– instead, he got another lesson in how God’s ways were not Jonah’s ways. Jonah may have expected to drown, but God sent a big fish to swallow him, instead. Jonah spent three days inside the fish, being saved from the icy waters of the sea, and transported back to land, where the obedient fish “spit” him out onto the shore.

God did not find someone else to send the message. God did not change His plans. God simply changed Jonah’s situation and gave him a second chance. This time, Jonah obeyed. And God performed another miracle. Instead of killing Jonah or ignoring his warning message from the Lord, the Ninevites believed. And they repented– from the King down to the lowest citizen. God relented and showed mercy in the face of such repentance. Jonah had the opportunity to see God’s mercy and wisdom.

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But Jonah wasted this opportunity, as well. Instead of seeing the gracious hand of God at work to change the hearts of his enemies, Jonah only saw that God had not acted with vengeance and harsh judgment. (Later, when the Ninevites returned to their old ways of life, God DID send destruction, but Jonah missed that, too.) In fact, Jonah was angry with God, and threw a temper tantrum as the Ninevites celebrated God’s kindness and mercy. Jonah was a prophet– he very likely had a long career doing God’s work. He probably had many successes, but the Biblical account we have of him tells only of his failure. In spite of that, we can see in the story of Jonah how God can use even failure to bring salvation and redemption to the lost. God’s ways are not our ways!

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Today, I want to be encouraged by Jonah’s story. So often, I get bogged down in the mistakes of my past–missed opportunities and failures, things left unsaid, or actions that can’t be undone. It is important that we acknowledge our sins and mistakes; that we do what we can to make amends, and that we repent. But we must also acknowledge God’s power to make all things work together for good (Romans 8:28) and remember that “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.” (Philippians 1:6) Know too, that God knows the plans He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11) even though you and I cannot see the end of the story. God’s ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8); they are higher and Holier. His wisdom and power are infinite, and His plans are ultimately for our Good.

“Wasted” opportunities need not lead to years of guilt and self-torture. Instead, they should be learning experiences that lead us to greater faith, quicker obedience, and greater joy!

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Suing God

I have a friend who wants to sue God. She’s not entirely serious, but she has a lot of anger toward God. She feels that God “owes” her an explanation for her life circumstances, as well as a general justification for war, famine, and other evils that she reads about in the paper or sees on the news. She believes He (or She or S/he or It– my friend isn’t sure that God exists, but cavils at the idea of calling God “Father” or “He”–she finds it sexist) is being unfair in a thousand different ways.

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My friend doesn’t read the Bible, and is only vaguely familiar with the story of Job. Job wanted to take God to court. His life had crumbled around him, and he wanted God to explain why, especially as he didn’t “deserve” the circumstances he faced. Amazingly, in the Biblical account, we learn that Job was “right.” He didn’t deserve to lose his family, wealth, and health. He had done nothing “wrong.” That doesn’t mean that he was sinless. But he confessed any sins, made atonement– he even sacrificed to make atonement for any sins his children might have committed. Job was a “righteous dude!” My friend– not so much. Like most of us, she would probably be ready to admit that she’s made some mistakes here and there, though she doesn’t feel that they are particularly heinous. She’s more than willing to “let bygones by bygones” for herself and others– shouldn’t God do the same, without making us confess and humble ourselves? Who does God think He is, anyway?!

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But this is the point. God is GOD–He is not a man, or even a superman, that He is compelled to explain Himself to us; to seek our approval or accommodate our whims, wishes, or plans. In the story of Job, God never gives Job the explanation he’s looking for (again, amazingly, WE the readers are given a “behind the scenes” look and told exactly why Job is being tested and allowed to suffer). Nor does God justify Job’s circumstances or spell out his list his “rights.” Instead, He presents Job with a few keen questions to remind Job (and us!) of who God is, and who Job is not!

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Like my friend, I am often disturbed, puzzled, and saddened by some of life’s circumstances, and by the evils I see around me. But when I begin to question why, the Bible reminds me to ask a few keen questions: Did I create the world? Do I have the power or authority to re-create or re-order the world around me? Can I change my own circumstances, or those of others? Can I change nature, weather, geography, biology? Can I make times and seasons obey my instructions? Can I see a thousand years into the future, or remember a thousand years in the past? Am I immortal? Omniscient? Omnipotent? Holy?

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But more than that, I have to ask: If God never gives me answers or explanations for what has happened or is happening, or will happen– what will change? If God answers all my questions– what can I say or do about it? Can I teach God how to oversee the Universe? Can I explain to God what He already knows better than I do? Job’s ultimate response was worship. I have a choice to rage against my creator, or I can trust Him with my past, present, and future. I can worship God right now, in my “not-knowing,” or I can rebel against the one who gives me life and breath– the one who created everything around me, before me, behind me, under and over me– the one who is sovereign over the entire universe.

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My friend wants to sue God– or at least demand answers from Him. I hope she will consider pur-suing Him, instead. He is big enough to meet our anger and our questions, and He is big enough to handle all the things we don’t know or understand.

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