I would have taken the scenic route Stopped to smell the new-mown grass, Or the languid marshy odors Drifting through the open window of my car.
I might have stopped off to see my old friend Whose house I have passed a hundred times On my way from somewhere to somewhere else– Stayed awhile, relived memories or made new ones.
I would have let the others speak Drinking in their words, tasting them, weighing their wisdom And nodding, or not, let them take the spotlight a little longer While I held my own cleverness in check.
I would have prayed with more reflection, and Less impatience. I would have used fewer words, And chosen them with more care. I would have shown More gratitude and less “attitude.” I would have cried more and sighed less.
I would have risked speaking up in those awkward moments: “I didn’t mean that.” “I’m glad to know you.” “I’m so sorry.” “I love you.” “Please know that I love you.” “You have an amazing smile.” “You are important.” “God loves you with an everlasting, unshakable love!”
I would have watched more sunsets and fewer TV shows. I would have written more stories and read fewer magazines. I would have danced like no one was watching. I would have sung like no one was listening. I would have invited others to join me.
If I had known that I have five more years; Or five more months, or five more decades… Would I live differently? Pray differently? Love differently? I hope so.
Of course, I DO pray. I pray a lot. I write a blog about prayer. But there are times when I find it hard to pray; times when my prayers seem feeble or awkward; times when I just don’t pray. So how does this happen, and why?
Well, there are many reasons why our prayer life can go through a dry season:
“I’m just too busy.” Sometimes, I let busyness and distractions keep me from spending quality time in prayer. I like to pray first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. But I’m not naturally a morning person, and sometimes, the night seems to get away from me. And my prayer life can suffer.
“I’d rather worry about it.” This may sound like a strange statement, but sometimes, praying about a situation seems like I’m giving up “agency” over the problem. Trusting God and letting go are easier said than done. Worrying about a problem, imagining all the things I “should” be doing, or that others should be doing to fix it gives me a sense of ownership over my circumstances.
“I don’t really want to talk to God about ‘that’.” God already knows my heart and my mind, but I want to hold on to the illusion that God loves me because I’m so good, not acknowledging that God’s love is His gift, not my reward. God wants to hear the ugly parts of my life. Yes, I stand justified by the work of Christ on the cross. I don’t have to wallow in my mistakes or beat myself up over all the ways I “fall short of the Glory of God”. But the more I try to pretend I am someone I’m not, the harder it is to remember why God loves me– He loves me because He IS Love!
“God isn’t interested in this little thing.” OR “God is tired of hearing about this chronic problem.” I can stop praying about something because I expect God to respond like a person– maybe even like me. I get tired of listening to the same things over and over. I get tired of wrestling with the same issues. I want to come to God with a problem and have it solved– quickly, easily, and permanently. But God’s ways are not my ways. And God wants me to trust Him, regardless of the situation.
“I’m not so sure about God right now. I feel let down, abandoned, or unheard.” Doubts and emotions can be so strong– if we let them take over, we will isolate, even from God. Praying during such times can even feel like hypocrisy.
There are many reasons and excuses that can cause us not to pray. I know, because I have fallen victim to them. But ultimately, they boil down to one thing– a choice.
Choosing to pray can be difficult. It involves discipline, faith, humility, and a burning desire to spend time with our Heavenly Father– even when our emotions and circumstances get in the way. It is helpful to remember why I DO pray:
God wants to hear from me. I may not always FEEL this, but the Bible is clear about it– God WANTS a relationship with me, with you, with each one of His children.
God knows the human heart. He knows our weaknesses, and He knows our hurts and how we have hurt others. And He will not turn His back on those who seek Him. There is nothing I can say to Him in prayer that will cause Him to withhold His love, His forgiveness, and His mercy. He is in the business of redemption!
God’s ways are not my ways. If I feel that God is distant because I don’t see Him clearly, or hear Him directly, that doesn’t mean He is not there. Often, I don’t want to rely on Faith– I want proof of God’s favor; I want proof of God’s protection; I want to be able to “prove” God to others, and to justify myself. Prayer in the midst of doubt and pain is the very act of dying to that need and talking to God “anyway.”
There are still times when I don’t pray as often or as earnestly as I feel I should. But, like anything else worth pursuing, it’s worth the journey and the occasional struggle. It doesn’t get “easy”– but it does get easier, and richer, and more fulfilling.
If you haven’t been praying lately, or if prayer has become dry– DON’T GIVE UP. Don’t beat yourself up. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep on in the struggle. And if prayer has been wonderful and refreshing lately, WONDERFUL! But don’t trust in the feeling of powerful prayer– trust in the One to whom you are praying! He alone makes the pursuit worth it all.
I saw you at the store today. I saw your stressed-out look And your nervous glances. I nodded and said, “Hello.” I didn’t ask about your family– Your husband’s job search, Your child’s illness… I felt so bad for you.
But did I Pray?
She came into my shop yesterday. She was slurring her words a little As she tried to focus. She didn’t meet my eyes. I was polite to her. I felt guilty because I was a bit Relieved when she left. I wondered if she would be ok.
But did I Pray?
I worked into the night making pies For the church bake sale. Peach, cherry, pecan– Perfect crusts for each one. I gave my best effort.
But did I Pray?
I got up and wrote my blog for the day. I spoke of prayer and the need to cry out, To share my heart in prayer. I quoted scripture, shared personal anecdotes And offered suggestions about how to Start and end the day–
But did I Pray?
Lord, forgive me for the times I’ve failed to come to You– In my pride, or in my need, In my confusion or awkwardness. In my sorrow, or in my joy. Help me to seek You FIRST So I don’t have to think back and ask
Father, I’m too busy today. I have filled my life with too many urgencies And obligations. I can’t take the time to quiet my soul And just meditate on You.
I have a checkup appointment with the doctor this morning. (Thank you for my health and wellness, and Give the doctor insight and wisdom to see What I need to do to stay healthy.)
And then, I have a busy day at work, To make up for the time off… (Thank you, Father, for employment!) (Thank you for time off!) (Thank you for travel mercies.)
Tonight, I have to catch up on all the housework… (Thank you for a home, and clothing, and dishes, and furniture…) (Thank you for family to share it all with!) And I promised our neighbor I’d check on their cat while they are on vacation. (Thank you for good neighbors, and the opportunity to serve them.)
Lord, forgive me… I’m just too busy to pray today. (Father, thank you for a busy life– a life with purpose and activity. Thank you for your Presence throughout the day!)
Father, thank you for the truth– I am NOT too busy to give you praise I am NEVER too busy to turn my thoughts and my heart to YOU, even on this busy day!
Yesterday, I spent time scrolling and playing games on-line. I saw patterns and pictures and memes. I read articles and posts and e-mails.
I learned that the English word “ogre” comes from French, and the French word is from a translation of an Arabic tale. I learned that some dogs can be trained to walk on tightropes. I learned that the least populated state capital in the U.S. is Montpelier, Vermont; the second least populated is Pierre, South Dakota. I learned that grown women will act like second-graders on the floor of the United States House of Representatives, resorting to name-calling and screeching. And that their behavior will be talked about and analyzed for hours afterward.
Today, I spent some time walking around my neighborhood. I saw flowers in bloom. I heard the train as it came through town. I saw houses and cars and people walking their dogs (not on tightropes!)
I learned that it was pleasantly warm outside, but it felt good in the shade. I learned that one of the stores downtown was closed today due to a family crisis. I learned that crews have been working to freshen up the curbs and landscaping around the downtown. I met someone new, and learned that she likes dachshunds (though hers cannot walk on a tightrope).
Tomorrow, I’m going to spend some time with my eyes closed. I’m going to “see” God’s faithfulness as I review my life. I’m going to get a glimpse of how God is working in my life, and in the lives of others around me. (I’m going to wonder about how God will work in other situations.) I’m going to see how small my world is in relation to God’s universe!
I don’t know what I will learn, yet. But I’m quite sure it will be beyond my expectations. And more wonderful than dogs on tightropes and neatly manicured curbs! There is so much more to see! So much more to learn! What majesty!
I really need to go on that diet. I really should call my Aunt Kay. I need an hour of peace and quiet. And time to sit and pray.
But I’m scrolling through Facebook. I’m following the news. I just need another look; This meme has so many views..
I should greet that new couple at church. I should make them feel at home. But I need a cup of coffee first. And my hair should be re-combed.
My Bible waits by my chair– Unread these past four days. Later, I know it will still be there– Ready to catch my gaze
Tomorrow, or the next day. God will understand. I want to follow His Way, But this wasn’t what I planned.
I got caught up in a magazine I stopped to shoot the breeze– My house is needing to be cleaned Before I get on my knees.
I “had to,” “should have,” “had a mind” To spend time with God, and yet My day’s flown past, and now I find I’ve only time to fret.
“Not yet” was my sad refrain “Not yet” kept me on the go. “Not yet” robbed me once again Of time spent with One who loves me so.
And so my day was filled and rife With wasted time and small regrets. I missed the more abundant life Of trust grown from obedience.
The internet will still be there Tomorrow and the next day; But the trust built up in an hour of prayer Can never be taken away.
Today may be busy with “urgent” needs and countless distractions. But there will only be one “today” to meet with God– in prayer, Bible study, meditation, and worship. What is my priority today? Even if I can’t “find” an entire hour in my busy schedule, have I made a plan and a priority to meet with God? Am I searching for opportunities to serve Him and encourage others, or am I too busy searching for my own entertainment and fulfillment? What are the empty things in my life that I should be telling, “Not yet?”
I am always drawn by the stories in the Bible. Stories of ordinary and extraordinary people used by God– sometimes in spite of themselves–to rescue others, to teach others, to serve as examples, and to show how God wants to interact (or discipline) those He loves.
One such person was a man named Saul, son of Kish. Of all the young men of Israel, God chose Saul to be their first king. This was a mixed blessing for the nation. In asking for a human king, they were saying that the did not want to be “ruled” by God or His prophets. God warned Israel through the prophet Samuel that they might come to regret having a human king. They were rejecting the pattern established by God under Moses, and asking for a system of leadership that matched the surrounding nations. This would make it easier to make treaties, do business, and interact with neighboring countries, but it would also bring some of the same problems (succession, power struggles, greed, etc.) that plagued all the other monarchies and empires around them. The choice of Saul reveals not only God’s character, but the character of Israel. God chose a man from one of the least of the families of the least of the tribes of Israel. Saul’s father, Kish, was a man of some power and wealth, but his family line was one of younger sons of younger sons. God often chooses the “least” among us to lead. He is not a respecter of rank or birth, wealth or experience. However, God also chose Saul as a man who “looked” the part. Saul was “head and shoulders” taller than others. He was good-looking and well-educated. Wasn’t this exactly was Israel wanted in a king?
On the day Samuel called a great assembly to publicly anoint the new king, lots were cast to show God’s choice. Among the 12 tribes of Israel, the tribe of Benjamin was chosen– the youngest of the sons of Jacob, and the smallest of the tribes. A lesser family among the tribe was then selected. Finally, the choice was narrowed down to Saul, son of Kish. But Saul could not be found! A search ensued, and he was eventually found– hiding among the baggage! The tallest man in the kingdom– the one who already had been confirmed as God’s choice– tried to hide from his own coronation! And it was God who revealed Saul’s hiding place and forced him to face his exaltation!
The ongoing story of Saul’s reign as king is filled with both triumph and tragedy. Time and again, Saul tries to “hide” behind excuses. He fails to obey God’s command, but blames his weakness on others. God takes away His favor, and His spirit leaves Saul, who descends into paranoia, anger, and madness.
But today, I want to look at the idea that Saul thought he could hide “among the baggage.” (1 Samuel 10:22) Other translations say he was “among the stuff” or “among the supplies.” Saul did not run away from the assembly altogether; he did not reject his role. Yet he tried to hide from the gravity and responsibility of kingship. In many ways, this shows good qualities of humility and an understanding of his own limitations. Saul’s problem wasn’t that he thought he was “born to be king.” Saul wasn’t born to be king– it was an honor thrust upon him. Saul’s problem was that he wasn’t prepared to let God rule through him. Saul would be the titular King of Israel. But who would be the King over Saul’s own life and heart? Saul, like the nation he ruled, ended up rejecting God’s rule. He tried to follow the letter of the law, and the traditions of his people, but he did not always choose to follow the God who had created them, nor did he humble himself to accept God’s correction.
We may not be chosen for a position of leadership. But what responsibilities are we hiding from today? Are we surrounding ourselves with baggage? Do we hide in the busyness of our hobbies or our job? Do we cover ourselves with “obligations” that leave us drained to no real purpose? How many hours do we spend hiding in chit-chat, or watching television, or shopping, or daydreaming? How many times are we volunteering to work with strangers in order to avoid spending time with difficult relatives or neighbors? How often do we offer up the sacrifice of generic worship instead of the sacrifice of a teachable spirit?
Saul had many gifts, which he used to strengthen his nation and expand its territory. He had the opportunity to do even more great things for God and for Israel. But he is mostly remembered for his failures– his defiance of Samuel’s orders and excuses about disobedience; his ongoing murderous pursuit of his anointed successor, David; his consultation in the dead of night with the witch of Endor; his ignoble death in battle… We too, have opportunities to do great things with God’s help and in His power. We cannot hide forever among the “stuff” of life. God will reveal our hiding places– to others, even if we don’t acknowledge them!
Today, I pray that I will come out from behind the baggage of my everyday activities, and be available for God’s good purposes!
I went to a weekly prayer meeting the other day. We started with a reading from scripture. It was just a short passage from Mark (chapter 1, verses 29-39) about Jesus’ early ministry. But I was so excited about the insight we got, that I want to share it here.
29-30 Then, leaving the synagogue, he and his disciples went over to Simon and Andrew’s home, where they found Simon’s mother-in-law sick in bed with a high fever. They told Jesus about her right away. 31 He went to her bedside, and as he took her by the hand and helped her to sit up, the fever suddenly left, and she got up and prepared dinner for them!
32-33 By sunset the courtyard was filled with the sick and demon-possessed, brought to him for healing; and a huge crowd of people from all over the city of Capernaum gathered outside the door to watch. 34 So Jesus healed great numbers of sick folk that evening and ordered many demons to come out of their victims. (But he refused to allow the demons to speak, because they knew who he was.)
35 The next morning he was up long before daybreak and went out alone into the wilderness to pray.
36-37 Later, Simon and the others went out to find him, and told him, “Everyone is asking for you.”
38 But he replied, “We must go on to other towns as well, and give my message to them too, for that is why I came.”
39 So he traveled throughout the province of Galilee, preaching in the synagogues and releasing many from the power of demons.
Mark 1:29-39 The Living Bible
The first thing we noticed was the timing. Jesus had just been at the Synagogue, so this was likely on the Sabbath– the day of rest! Jesus and the disciples walked to the house where Simon Peter and Andrew lived. This would be close to the Synagogue, since travel was curtailed on the Sabbath. But instead of being able to rest, Jesus ended up healing Simon’s mother-in-law. Then people start flooding in, before and after sunset, begging to be healed. After sunset, even more people could come from a farther distance, and many were there just to watch. Jesus worked far into the night, healing and casting out demons.
But look what happens in verse 35. “The next morning, he was up before daybreak and went out alone into the wilderness to pray.” Jesus might have been tempted to sleep in. He might have decided to wake up and find a quiet corner of the house to say a quick prayer for the morning. He might have done many things. But He chose to wake up before dawn, even after an eventful evening, and go off into a solitary place to spend time with His Father.
Prayer was a priority with Jesus. Not sleep. Not comfort. Not convenience.
But later, Simon and the others tracked Him down and asked Him to come back. The response to His healing of the day before had been phenomenal. People were asking for Him, waiting to see more of His miracles and hear more of His teaching! Surely this was success!
But Jesus didn’t come to have a popular ministry. He didn’t come to do command performances and His miracles were not meant primarily to impress and astonish people, or to draw vast crowds. Jesus came to do His Father’s Will. And so He dismissed the opportunity to do an “encore.” Instead, He was focused on His true mission– to preach the Kingdom to the other towns as well. Some of these towns would be eager to hear the message and receive the blessings and healings that Jesus brought. Others would mock Him and urge Him to leave their village or city. But His mission was clear– He would travel where the Father led Him, and preach the message the Father gave Him. Even at the expense of His own popularity; even at the expense of the temporary success of his ministry.
What did Jesus and His Father speak of during that early morning encounter? Did Jesus talk about how tired He was from the day (and night) before? Did He share with the Father the success of His healing, and the great need in that village? What advice did He seek from the Father?
We know only that Jesus got up from Prayer and was immediately obedient to the Father’s Will. Though His trusted friends and companions were encouraging Him to return and repeat the success of yesterday, Jesus walked into the unknown, following the Voice of His Father. “For that is why I came.” Jesus could have done much good by staying put and continuing the success He had on the Sabbath. But that wasn’t why He had come. He didn’t just come to do “good.” He came for much more! Sometimes “good” can be the enemy of the “best.” It takes discipline, humility, and obedience to follow God into the unknown– especially when we are tempted to continue in our own power to do what others deem as “important” and “good.”
What voices are speaking to us today? Have you taken the time today to speak to the Father and seek His direction? Have you submitted yourself to His Will? Are there people “looking for you” to do good; to replicate a good performance from yesterday? What if God is calling you to move on? What if He has something better in mind? Maybe He is calling you to go out into a solitary place, where you can better hear His voice over the noise of the crowds or even the pleas of your friends.
My prayer today is that I will find the discipline to meet with God early, listen intently to His voice above the others, and obey! May I do not just what is “good” in the short-term, but what is “best” in the long-term. Even if “everyone” is looking for me– I want to be looking for God first and foremost! Don’t you?!
I missed this year’s Super Bowl. For anyone who is unfamiliar with this tradition, the Super Bowl is the name given (and trade-marked– that’s why this post’s title is the “Big Game”) to the national championship game for American Football each year. The tradition is as old as I am– 57 years–and each year, it gets nearly as much hype as the World Cup (Football in most of the rest of the world!)
Though I missed watching the game, I have some reflections to share about it:
While it is an important sporting event for anyone interested in American Football, it is not (for most of us) a life-changing, “Super” anything. I have not watched a Super Bowl game in many years, and my life is every bit as rich and full as it was in years when I did watch. The teams come and go, the players change, and the even the most exciting plays will be largely forgotten in the coming years (except for what gets re-played on “highlights”). It is a Big game. But it is not real life, and it is not THE Big event of anyone’s life– even the players will have other events (marriage, the birth of a child, the death of a parent, etc.) that will compete with the three hours spent one Sunday in February on a football field.
Football is divided into two halves (four quarters, to be exact). In between the two halves is a period known as “Half Time.” This is a curious ritual. The two teams get about a half hour to rest, reflect, strategize, and regroup before the second half of the game. Meanwhile, the fans get treated to an entertainment. In high school and college football, this is usually a chance for the marching band to show off. It has a military flavor, with drums, flags, formations, and cheerleaders all getting the crowd enthused for the “home team.” But there is no “Home” team for a Super Bowl. The teams play in a neutral location. So the “halftime” entertainment is like a condensed rock concert. The entertainment has nothing to do with the game at hand, and has no clear purpose.
The Super Bowl is televised, and corporations, public service groups, and other interests spend millions of dollars to buy advertising rites, and millions more dollars creating what they hope will be memorable ads to be shown during this window of high visibility. Tickets for the live event are expensive, but millions of people are watching on TV from their homes, or at sports bars or special “Super Bowl” parties.
Super Bowl Parties are a huge “thing.” Fans spend hundreds and even thousands of dollars on special food, decorations, venues, team-related clothing and other “gear.”
I am not a big football fan, so I don’t understand a lot of the hype. I don’t begrudge anyone the fun of watching and enjoying sporting events, but I wonder about some of the emphasis placed on this event. What would happen if:
People spent the same kind of energy, time, or money on strengthening their family, or building up their community, or spreading the gospel?..There are “Real life” events that are far more important and urgent than a football game– especially one in which we are mere spectators–that should cause us to clear our schedule, make preparations, and keep us riveted. How many people can recall cheering on a new bride and groom, or a high school graduate or a recovering addict or a new Christian with even a tenth of the excitement they give to a groups of players they’ve never met or spoken to, for a game that has no lasting impact on their own life, their family or community?
Only those people who were actual football fans attended the Super Bowl or Super Bowl Parties? How many people are spending money, time, and energy on something they don’t even really care about, because of the “shiny” extras on the periphery– the snacks, the Halftime Show, being the “first” to see the newest ads, being part of “the fun”, going along with the “in” crowd?”
Churches, schools, charities, etc., could garner similar commitment and excitement from their members and communities? What if we could generate the same kind of money and enthusiasm to fill food banks or send relief to those impacted by hurricanes or earthquakes? What if prayer meetings and tent revivals broke attendance records? What if graduation parties and anniversary parties were as elaborate as Super Bowl Parties?
Just some thoughts. As I said above, I missed the Super Bowl this year…I don’t know what I might have enjoyed, or what memories I might have had. I much prefer the memories I have of spending time with grandkids, or celebrating special birthdays with friends and family, or helping plan a graduation party for my niece and nephew, or sharing the joy of a baptism. To me, that is Super way to spend a day.
When I was a child, we used to write letters to “Santa” with a list of what we wanted to find under the Christmas Tree that year. Sometimes this was a school project– practice in letter-writing etiquette, etc.– and sometimes, it was done spontaneously after poring through the Sears “Wish Book” Christmas catalog, or after watching Saturday morning cartoons with their endless ads for toys, dolls, bikes, and sugary cereals.
As adults, we often do something similar, drafting a Christmas “wish list” in our prayers and Advent dreams. Our adult lists may be as shallow as those of childhood–a new dishwasher, or a shiny piece of jewelry; a new “toy” boat for Dad, etc. Sometimes, they sound more virtuous– world peace, a healthy economy, a cure for cancer…
It isn’t “wrong” to have wishes at any time of year. And we should hope for better things in the world around us. But we can get caught up in the idea of Christmas being all about wishes and desires at the expense of the real GIFT of Christmas– Christ Himself! In fact, we can become numb to the fact that Jesus wasn’t just “another” Christmas gift among our “wish list” items.
9 The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1: 9-14 (NIV)
Christ didn’t come that first Christmas in response to any person’s wish list. In fact, the Bible says that when Jesus came into the very world He created, He was rejected, ignored, even despised by those who should have recognized and welcomed Him. He didn’t come wrapped in shiny paper and waiting for us to enjoy Him. He came wrapped in rags, forced to go into exile under threat of death, and honored only by humble shepherds and strangers from foreign lands. No one sought Him out on their own. Even the shepherds and wise men were led by angels and a guiding star.
This year, instead of concentrating on wish lists and our desires (even noble ones!), let’s reflect on God’s wish list– that we would turn from sin and rebellion, and be reconciled to Him; that we would make His gift our greatest desire!
Pursuing Prayer 