Tag: rape

My Body, My Choice?

The news is constantly filled with stories about women (and men and children) who want to have complete control over their bodies– they want to choose their gender, dramatically change their appearance, and determine when (or if) they will have children, commit to relationships, or accept the responsibility that comes with having a body.

In many ways, “my body, my choice” seems reasonable and even fair. No one wants other people to have control over their life and death, or their health and welfare, with no say and no choice. But often, this phrase is twisted into a fantasy that every person can do whatever s/he wants with their body, without accepting the consequences or responsibilities that come with their behavior or their natural abilities.

I once saw an online argument in which a young and earnest writer boldly claimed that “bodily autonomy is a ‘thing.'” They went on to argue that ‘bodily autonomy’ gave them the right to government-funded abortion on demand, access to puberty blockers, the right to identify as whatever gender (or species) they felt like, all without restriction or ‘judgment’ by anyone else. What? “Bodily Autonomy” is a phrase, suggesting that a person has the right to control or “own” their own body, and not answerable to any other authority, law, or limitation. But being a ‘thing’ doesn’t make ‘bodily autonomy’ a reality. I can make many choices about my body– but there are many realities over which I have no “choice”– no control or authority or resources to accomplish.

I’m short. I cannot suddenly become tall. I am a woman. No matter how many hormones I pump into my body, no matter how many surgeries I could have to make me look or sound like a man, or “function” somewhat like a man, I will never have a man’s body or a man’s DNA. I am barren. The idea that pregnancy was always a “choice” for me denies the very real emotional struggle I went through in accepting my body’s limitations. I recently lost a sister-in-law to cancer. What a mockery to chant “my body, my choice!’ to someone who is dying of cancer or who was born with cystic fibrosis or is battling ALS or multiple sclerosis. And sometimes, other people violate our bodies– we may struggle, but we cannot prevent someone else from abusing us physically or sexually. So, although bodily autonomy may be a “thing” or an ideal, it is not a guarantee. And if the choices we make in our body end up abusing, hurting, or killing another living being, that is not autonomy– it’s unjust and predatory.

But what does the Bible say? Does God give us choices about our bodies?

There is nothing specific in the Bible about gender dysphoria, or plastic surgery. There is no mention of third trimester abortion or modern feminism, or queer lifestyles. But there are many teachings about our bodies AND our choices. And surprisingly, the Bible does NOT say that we have no control or “rights” over our own bodies. Instead, the Bible tells us the following:

  • God is the creator of all life. Life is a gift from God, not a random accident. And no one– NO ONE– can spontaneously come into being. So, the idea of “bodily autonomy” cannot be true of anyone who has ever depended on someone else to be born or to grow up or to become pregnant. God’s word makes it clear that “autonomy” is NOT the goal of creation. God’s purpose for us is to connect– with Him and with each other. He created men and women different, yet complementary. He created families to live and work together– the old teaching the young, as the young care for the old–sharing and building a legacy. Sin corrupts God’s design– it seeks to subvert it and destroy it, replacing it with a twisted independence that leads to isolation and loneliness, distrust, anger, pride and hatred.
  • God doesn’t make mistakes. He doesn’t delight in our struggles, our limitations, or our diseases. But Sin corrupts– right down into our DNA. God does not wipe out the consequences of Sin in our world– not yet. Someday, He will bring an end to all the causes of suffering, confusion, and grief. But in the meantime, He promises to be present WITH us THROUGH the struggle. We may not understand fully how our bodies work or why they do (or don’t do) what we might like. We may wonder why we look the way we do, or why our nose is “too small” or our body is shaped like a pear, when we want it to be an hourglass, or our hair in impossible to keep tamed, or we face a family history of oversized ears. We may struggle with diabetes, asthma, epilepsy, hypothyroidism, and even gender dysphoria. But God isn’t sitting in the wings, laughing at our circumstances. He promises to be both “present” and “sufficient,” even in the midst of our pain and uncertainty.
  • God calls us to take care of the bodies He gave us to the best of our ability. That means it is sinful to have indiscriminate sex with unknown partners who may be carrying venereal diseases– and also to overeat or starve ourselves with fad diets, or to pierce ourselves with unclean needles, whether getting a tattoo from an unlicensed and unclean parlor, or shooting up with heroin. Sexual and gender issues grab headlines and make for great political fodder, but we can make the mistake of thinking that such sins are “bigger” than lying or gossip or greed or pride, or that they are unforgiveable– they are NOT! God can remove the stain of abortion, rebellion, gossip, addiction, lying, drunkenness, body shaming, and judgmentalism.
  • God HAS given us the power of choice– we can choose our behaviors, our lifestyle, our morals, and our relationships. He has also given us governments to create laws and punishments for those who break them. But a law doesn’t actually prevent you from doing an act– it merely outlines the negative consequences for breaking that law. Laws can’t prevent people from committing murder, rape, theft, arson, etc., but laws provide a framework for responsibility and punishment to discourage certain behaviors and affirm the rights of even the most vulnerable among us. In other words, a law can’t prevent you from having an abortion or a sex change– but it can limit your ability to do so by forcing you to face negative consequences– jail time, higher fees, fewer practitioners willing to make such decisions “easy” and socially acceptable. God has given us His law in the Bible to show us how far we have fallen away from His standards and His character. On our own, we will never fulfill the entire law. But that is the heart of the Gospel– Jesus came to free us from both the power of Sin and the condemnation that comes from yielding to it. The Holy Spirit can give us the power to make Godly choices, knowing that Christ’s atoning sacrifice has paid the price for our sinful choices of the past.
  • Our choices come with consequences. We are ‘free’ to make bad choices, but we (and others!) are not free of the consequences of our choices. “My body, my choice” is an anthem of entitlement– of rights without responsibilities. Many of our choices carry great risks. Abortion is not a risk-free solution to a “problem.” Just as pregnancy presents risks, so does the medical procedure to end one. Clinics can minimize the risks, but there is no such thing as a guaranteed “safe escape” from an unplanned pregnancy. Sex change operations are even riskier, with complications that can be profound, chronic, and extremely painful. Risky health and sex habits don’t become any less risky just because they are legal or socially accepted. Experimenting with drugs can end in tragic death or lifelong damage to the heart or brain, as well as the horrors of addiction. Eating or drinking in excess will still lead to health problems, even if there is a new miracle fad drug that masks the early symptoms.
  • Sin has consequences that are often NOT of our making or choosing. It is not fair, it is not just, and it is not your fault. Punishing an innocent person will not take away that fact. It only spreads the consequences of Sin to someone else– someone who will be another innocent victim– YOUR victim. Cutting off family and friends because they don’t “affirm” your new lifestyle will not change them. It will hurt them. It will hurt you. It will not make your lifestyle any more acceptable to them. Aborting a baby will not change the circumstances of the pregnancy or make the abuse or memories of a rape disappear. Someday, God will restore justice, reward hope, and remove all grief and pain for those who learn to trust Him.

In the end, God has given you “your” body, and He has given you “your” choice. But He also warns you of the consequences of making selfish, dangerous choices that can result in death, heartbreak, regrets, and long-term damage for short-term benefits. He also promises the blessings of recognizing that “your” soul was made to have a relationship with a Holy and Perfect God, and that your “choice” to follow Him will bring eternal and glorious benefits, including a new and sinless “body” in Heaven. I pray that I will make good choices to take care of “my body” today. And I pray that eyes and minds will be opened to the wonder of God’s gift of life, and His plan for every “body” around me.

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What Happens in Gibeah…

Near the end of the book of Judges, there is a curious story; one often overlooked because of its sad and gruesome nature. Read the whole story here: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges%2019-21&version=TLB

When one first encounters this story, it seems horrific but also disconnected somehow. Throughout the rest of the book of Judges, the narrative focuses on individuals who led the nation of Israel as they moved into and settled in the Promised Land. Moses and Joshua had led them TO the land, and now others were leading them IN the land. Some of them became household names as their stories echoed through the ages– Gideon, Samson, and to a lesser extent, Barak and Deborah and Jael–heroes in battle, but often weak in leadership. But as the book continues, the stories are much less heroic and much more appalling. The story of Gibeah is a tragic and disgusting downfall for the entire nation, rife with rape, murder, and civil war.

Hundreds of years later, the prophets Isaiah and Hosea make reference to Gibeah, and the horrors that were committed there. As bad as the story of Gibeah is, I believe it holds lessons and warnings for us even today.

  • At the beginning of the story, we learn that a Levite (a priest or priestly worker) who lived in a remote town took as his concubine a woman from Bethlehem in Judah. He brought her to the remote hill country where he lived. But she ran away and returned to her father’s house. Four months later, the man decides to track her down and bring her back home. Why are these details important? They seem innocuous, until you see how far from God’s plan and purpose the people have strayed.
    • The Levite was not supposed to take a concubine at all. He was to marry only a virgin from his own tribe. The passage is a little confusing on this point, calling her a concubine AND a wife. Either way, it seems she was not the sort of woman with whom he was supposed to create a family.
    • And she left him, so it seems that this was not a solid and committed relationship. He doesn’t follow her immediately.
    • He waits four months before going to check on her and attempting to bring her back. Once again, the context is unclear– maybe he was exercising patience, hoping that “absence makes the heart grow fonder” or hoping that time would mend whatever was wrong between them, but it could also be that he was just not in a great hurry to resume a relationship with her, but merely retrieving a bit of property.
  • Once the Levite tracks down the concubine, he is lulled into staying several days in the house of his father-in-law.
    • This would not have been unusual for that time period or region; hospitality was a hallmark of the people, and the father-in-law may have wanted to help smooth things over by giving his daughter more time at home to reconcile herself to the long journey and the return to her husband’s household. But this interaction does not feel like hospitality. There seems to be an undercurrent between the Levite and the woman’s father. The story never explores this, and maybe I am reading more into the story than what is there, but it seems that this relationship is not one based on love and deep affection, but more of a business transaction or power struggle.
    • If the woman was a concubine, she may have been returning to a household where she was a lesser wife and faced scorn or abuse from the Levite’s other wife or wives. Again, we do not know this from the context, but she does not seem eager to leave her father’s house, and the father does not seem comfortable sending her away.
    • The Levite seems reluctant to spend time with his father-in-law, yet it takes little convincing for him to stay four extra nights. Finally, on the fifth day, he insists that he will leave, even though it is now growing late.
  • As the Levite approaches the area around Jebus (Jerusalem), he refuses to stay there, as the Israelites have not conquered the city, and he does not want to stay with “foreigners.” He pushes on to Gibeah precisely because he assumes it will be safer to stay among his “own people.”
  • What happens that night in Gibeah begins almost the same as the scene that was described in Genesis 19, when the angels of the LORD visited the wicked city of Sodom, and the men of the city demanded to have sex with them. Just as Lot offered his two virgin daughters, the host offers his own virgin daughter to the mob. But this time, the concubine is trapped outside all night, left to be gang-raped and abused all night.
    • How horrified are the host and the Levite at the demands of the men of Gibeah? The host, much like Lot in Genesis, seems to be aware of the wickedness going on all around him, but powerless or without a will to stand up to it. The Levite does nothing to defend the woman he just “rescued” from her father’s house. He seems reconciled to the idea that she will be raped but is furious when she is left for dead?! Again, some of this is lost in the context of the story and the culture of that time, but surely none of this behavior lines up with the laws and regulations of the Israelites as given by Moses– not just the behavior of the men of Gibeah, but also that of the Levite.
    • The incident at Gibeah is actually WORSE than the one in Sodom! Israel has fallen so low that Sodom looks less wicked in comparison! The prophet Hosea, speaking of Israel’s prostitution with false gods and their coming judgment, refers to Gibeah as the place where judgment will (and should) begin because they have rejected their God. Jesus echoes this sentiment when He says in Matthew that judgment will be worse for those who reject Him than it was for the people of Sodom and Gomorrah. Sodom was a wicked city, but the people of Israel had heard the story of Sodom’s judgment and destruction. They had been warned– they had been sent to the Promised Land and told NOT to follow the wicked practices of the inhabitants they were to conquer. Yet they became worse than the people they were to destroy!
  • The reaction of the Levite, and the entire nation of Israel is not one of turning to God, but turning to vengeance and warfare
    • There is something about cutting up the dead body of his concubine and sending her bloody bits around the country that horrifies the reader of this story. Yes, her death was horrific and violent. But the aftermath is equally violent and impersonal. There is no mention in this story of grief or remorse or human compassion. There are only actions and reactions.
    • The men of Gibeah (and all of Benjamin) show no shame or repentance for this horrible incident. Instead, they are willing to slaughter their own countrymen (and die at their hand) in defiance and continued wickedness.
    • The “plan” after the war against the Benjaminites– allowing the men of the tribe of Benjamin to kidnap women in Shiloh– is evidence that no one has learned a lesson. The Israelites meet and ask God “Why has this happened?” But instead of asking God for an answer, they come up with their own plan.

The last verse in chapter 20 gives a sad and sobering summary–“In those days, Israel had no king, so the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.” (Judges 21:25)

What can we learn from this horrible incident? Most of us (I hope!) don’t go around gang-raping, torturing, and killing women; we don’t slaughter entire towns or tribal groups because of a single horrific incident; we don’t offer reparations to enemies that sanction kidnapping innocent victims. But do we turn our backs on God’s guidelines because we have a plan that seems “right in (our) own eyes”? Do we foster relationships that conflict with God’s word? Do we ignore the wickedness taking place in our own neighborhoods and right under our noses? Do we try to justify bad policies and practices because they are “no worse” than what others are doing?

What happened in Gibeah can happen anywhere. What happens in Gibeah doesn’t “stay” in Gibeah. It brings chaos, suffering, and judgment to an entire nation and impacts generations.

I pray that God’s people will open our eyes. Instead of pretending that we can do whatever “seems right” that we will focus on what is really “right,” and that we will confess and grieve for our sins, instead of defiantly redefining our values and morals.

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