My Body, My Choice?

The news is constantly filled with stories about women (and men and children) who want to have complete control over their bodies– they want to choose their gender, dramatically change their appearance, and determine when (or if) they will have children, commit to relationships, or accept the responsibility that comes with having a body.

In many ways, “my body, my choice” seems reasonable and even fair. No one wants other people to have control over their life and death, or their health and welfare, with no say and no choice. But often, this phrase is twisted into a fantasy that every person can do whatever s/he wants with their body, without accepting the consequences or responsibilities that come with their behavior or their natural abilities.

I once saw an online argument in which a young and earnest writer boldly claimed that “bodily autonomy is a ‘thing.'” They went on to argue that ‘bodily autonomy’ gave them the right to government-funded abortion on demand, access to puberty blockers, the right to identify as whatever gender (or species) they felt like, all without restriction or ‘judgment’ by anyone else. What? “Bodily Autonomy” is a phrase, suggesting that a person has the right to control or “own” their own body, and not answerable to any other authority, law, or limitation. But being a ‘thing’ doesn’t make ‘bodily autonomy’ a reality. I can make many choices about my body– but there are many realities over which I have no “choice”– no control or authority or resources to accomplish.

I’m short. I cannot suddenly become tall. I am a woman. No matter how many hormones I pump into my body, no matter how many surgeries I could have to make me look or sound like a man, or “function” somewhat like a man, I will never have a man’s body or a man’s DNA. I am barren. The idea that pregnancy was always a “choice” for me denies the very real emotional struggle I went through in accepting my body’s limitations. I recently lost a sister-in-law to cancer. What a mockery to chant “my body, my choice!’ to someone who is dying of cancer or who was born with cystic fibrosis or is battling ALS or multiple sclerosis. And sometimes, other people violate our bodies– we may struggle, but we cannot prevent someone else from abusing us physically or sexually. So, although bodily autonomy may be a “thing” or an ideal, it is not a guarantee. And if the choices we make in our body end up abusing, hurting, or killing another living being, that is not autonomy– it’s unjust and predatory.

But what does the Bible say? Does God give us choices about our bodies?

There is nothing specific in the Bible about gender dysphoria, or plastic surgery. There is no mention of third trimester abortion or modern feminism, or queer lifestyles. But there are many teachings about our bodies AND our choices. And surprisingly, the Bible does NOT say that we have no control or “rights” over our own bodies. Instead, the Bible tells us the following:

  • God is the creator of all life. Life is a gift from God, not a random accident. And no one– NO ONE– can spontaneously come into being. So, the idea of “bodily autonomy” cannot be true of anyone who has ever depended on someone else to be born or to grow up or to become pregnant. God’s word makes it clear that “autonomy” is NOT the goal of creation. God’s purpose for us is to connect– with Him and with each other. He created men and women different, yet complementary. He created families to live and work together– the old teaching the young, as the young care for the old–sharing and building a legacy. Sin corrupts God’s design– it seeks to subvert it and destroy it, replacing it with a twisted independence that leads to isolation and loneliness, distrust, anger, pride and hatred.
  • God doesn’t make mistakes. He doesn’t delight in our struggles, our limitations, or our diseases. But Sin corrupts– right down into our DNA. God does not wipe out the consequences of Sin in our world– not yet. Someday, He will bring an end to all the causes of suffering, confusion, and grief. But in the meantime, He promises to be present WITH us THROUGH the struggle. We may not understand fully how our bodies work or why they do (or don’t do) what we might like. We may wonder why we look the way we do, or why our nose is “too small” or our body is shaped like a pear, when we want it to be an hourglass, or our hair in impossible to keep tamed, or we face a family history of oversized ears. We may struggle with diabetes, asthma, epilepsy, hypothyroidism, and even gender dysphoria. But God isn’t sitting in the wings, laughing at our circumstances. He promises to be both “present” and “sufficient,” even in the midst of our pain and uncertainty.
  • God calls us to take care of the bodies He gave us to the best of our ability. That means it is sinful to have indiscriminate sex with unknown partners who may be carrying venereal diseases– and also to overeat or starve ourselves with fad diets, or to pierce ourselves with unclean needles, whether getting a tattoo from an unlicensed and unclean parlor, or shooting up with heroin. Sexual and gender issues grab headlines and make for great political fodder, but we can make the mistake of thinking that such sins are “bigger” than lying or gossip or greed or pride, or that they are unforgiveable– they are NOT! God can remove the stain of abortion, rebellion, gossip, addiction, lying, drunkenness, body shaming, and judgmentalism.
  • God HAS given us the power of choice– we can choose our behaviors, our lifestyle, our morals, and our relationships. He has also given us governments to create laws and punishments for those who break them. But a law doesn’t actually prevent you from doing an act– it merely outlines the negative consequences for breaking that law. Laws can’t prevent people from committing murder, rape, theft, arson, etc., but laws provide a framework for responsibility and punishment to discourage certain behaviors and affirm the rights of even the most vulnerable among us. In other words, a law can’t prevent you from having an abortion or a sex change– but it can limit your ability to do so by forcing you to face negative consequences– jail time, higher fees, fewer practitioners willing to make such decisions “easy” and socially acceptable. God has given us His law in the Bible to show us how far we have fallen away from His standards and His character. On our own, we will never fulfill the entire law. But that is the heart of the Gospel– Jesus came to free us from both the power of Sin and the condemnation that comes from yielding to it. The Holy Spirit can give us the power to make Godly choices, knowing that Christ’s atoning sacrifice has paid the price for our sinful choices of the past.
  • Our choices come with consequences. We are ‘free’ to make bad choices, but we (and others!) are not free of the consequences of our choices. “My body, my choice” is an anthem of entitlement– of rights without responsibilities. Many of our choices carry great risks. Abortion is not a risk-free solution to a “problem.” Just as pregnancy presents risks, so does the medical procedure to end one. Clinics can minimize the risks, but there is no such thing as a guaranteed “safe escape” from an unplanned pregnancy. Sex change operations are even riskier, with complications that can be profound, chronic, and extremely painful. Risky health and sex habits don’t become any less risky just because they are legal or socially accepted. Experimenting with drugs can end in tragic death or lifelong damage to the heart or brain, as well as the horrors of addiction. Eating or drinking in excess will still lead to health problems, even if there is a new miracle fad drug that masks the early symptoms.
  • Sin has consequences that are often NOT of our making or choosing. It is not fair, it is not just, and it is not your fault. Punishing an innocent person will not take away that fact. It only spreads the consequences of Sin to someone else– someone who will be another innocent victim– YOUR victim. Cutting off family and friends because they don’t “affirm” your new lifestyle will not change them. It will hurt them. It will hurt you. It will not make your lifestyle any more acceptable to them. Aborting a baby will not change the circumstances of the pregnancy or make the abuse or memories of a rape disappear. Someday, God will restore justice, reward hope, and remove all grief and pain for those who learn to trust Him.

In the end, God has given you “your” body, and He has given you “your” choice. But He also warns you of the consequences of making selfish, dangerous choices that can result in death, heartbreak, regrets, and long-term damage for short-term benefits. He also promises the blessings of recognizing that “your” soul was made to have a relationship with a Holy and Perfect God, and that your “choice” to follow Him will bring eternal and glorious benefits, including a new and sinless “body” in Heaven. I pray that I will make good choices to take care of “my body” today. And I pray that eyes and minds will be opened to the wonder of God’s gift of life, and His plan for every “body” around me.

If Only I Had Known…

I would have taken the scenic route
Stopped to smell the new-mown grass,
Or the languid marshy odors
Drifting through the open window of my car.

I might have stopped off to see my old friend
Whose house I have passed a hundred times
On my way from somewhere to somewhere else–
Stayed awhile, relived memories or made new ones.

I would have let the others speak
Drinking in their words, tasting them, weighing their wisdom
And nodding, or not, let them take the spotlight a little longer
While I held my own cleverness in check.

I would have prayed with more reflection, and
Less impatience.  I would have used fewer words,
And chosen them with more care.  I would have shown
More gratitude and less “attitude.”
I would have cried more and sighed less.

I would have risked speaking up in those awkward moments:
“I didn’t mean that.”  “I’m glad to know you.”
“I’m so sorry.”  “I love you.”  “Please know that I love you.”
“You have an amazing smile.” “You are important.”
“God loves you with an everlasting, unshakable love!”

I would have watched more sunsets and fewer TV shows.
I would have written more stories and read fewer magazines.
I would have danced like no one was watching.
I would have sung like no one was listening.
I would have invited others to join me.

If I had known that I have five more years;
Or five more months, or five more decades…
Would I live differently?  Pray differently?
Love differently?  I hope so. 

Out of Time

We’re are approaching the end of another year. It’s time to finish old projects, close out budgets, put away the old calendars, and get ready to start writing a new year in our planners and checkbooks. As we prepare for a “new” year, we set new goals, start new projects, and think ahead to what “will be.”

But, if you think about it, New Year’s Day will just be another day in a new week. The week actually begins on Sunday, regardless of when January first falls. We will go to sleep– possibly after midnight–and wake up just as we’ve done all the days of the past year, and all the days to come in the “new” year. Time is cyclical, as well as chronological. Time doesn’t go backward, but neither does it stop and “start over” when we complete a weekly cycle or at the end of a month, or year, or even a millennium. It just keeps repeating the natural cycles of day and night, moon cycles, and yearly orbits around the sun.

Yet, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day are important reminders about the nature of Time. God created the cycles of time– days and weeks, months and years–even though He exists outside of the boundaries of time. And God created the world with a beginning, and an “end.” As humans, we exist within these boundaries. Our years have beginnings and ends; our lives here have a beginning and an end, as well, even if the rest of the world keeps cycling around our short time on this planet.

New Year’s Eve reminds us of our own mortality. We need to be aware of the brevity of life, and the value of our time. We will come to an end. We will “run out” of time. Our plans and actions need to be accomplished in the time we have left. We may see the dawn of the new year, and of the year after that– but we do not know the moments and days we have left in our earthly lives.

But New Year’s Day also reminds us that God has NO end! His mercies are new EVERY morning, every week, and every new year! New Year’s Day reminds us that we can break old cycles and start fresh. We can look forward, instead of always looking back at past mistakes and regrets. And we can rely on God to continue to sustain us through days and weeks and years as they come and go.

Someday, we will be enter eternity. Time will no longer limit us. There will be no deadlines or endings for our dreams and activities. We will never “run out” of time. And we will never face an end of our access to God’s goodness and His Presence.

Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

That is true today, at the “end” of this year, and it will be equally true in a few days, in the “new” calendar year. The calendar may change, but God never will! And we will never “run out” of time to spend with Him– if we have trusted Him for Salvation. What a wonderful thought as we “close out” one year and step into the unknown future of another!

The “if” at the Center of Life

The English word “life” has only four letters, but the central two form another word– “If.” Life is all about making choices–and facing the consequences of those choices. Often we focus on those circumstances over which we seem to have no choice–I didn’t “choose” to be born, to be born female, to be born into the family or community where I grew up. I didn’t choose to be short, I didn’t choose the color of my eyes or skin or hair (though my hair color has changed as I get older!)

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

But those are circumstances– they are not my LIFE. My life is made up of thoughts, feelings, actions, attitudes, decisions, and interactions with others. The color of my eyes, my lack of stature, or my family name does not determine my attitude or my inner beliefs or the way I treat others. Who I am is determined by the choices I make– to be proud, to believe that I am superior (or inferior) to others; to choose hope and courage or to wallow in worry and despondency; to make the most of my time, or to waste it; to envy others or be grateful for all that I have; to obey or defy; to take care of my body or make unhealthy life choices; to be a good steward or be wasteful and destructive; to show love or to withhold kindness; to forgive or to hold a grudge; to seek God for his love and mercy, or to blame God for every challenge I face. Every choice (and its consequences) is woven into the fabric of my earthly life– every reaction to bad circumstances, every investment in future goals, every moment spent “just vegging”, every secret habit I continue to indulge..

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Pexels.com

The word “if” can hold great promise or regret– we can get lost in speculating, “if only…” or we can try to bargain with ourselves or with God, “if…then.” God gives us life, and He gives us “if”– the freedom to choose how we will react to our circumstances; freedom to choose how we will live our lives; the freedom to seek Him; the freedom to serve Him (or not) with all the unique gifts and passions He planted in each of us.

Life is filled with “ifs”– good and bad. “If’s” are conditional and have consequences. God’s love is not an “If.” It is unconditional, eternal, and immeasurable. Accepting it, however is conditional–it is the greatest “if” in the center of our life!

Lord, help me make good choices– choices that reflect the love and mercy You have shown; choices that bring You honor and glory. Thank you for making the choice to send Your only Son, that whoever (including me) believes in Him should have everlasting life!

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