The Weight of Prayer

Have you ever carried a burden that just got heavier each minute? Some pressing need, or a load of guilt and shame, or an unresolved issue that has been hanging over you for years with no relief. Sometimes, prayer is very heavy. It is a sacrifice, and a burden to keep praying for an unsaved loved one, or to fully confess the shame you have carried for years. Your needs (or the needs of loved ones) can push down on your spirit and make it difficult to even want to pray. Pain, grief, or persecution can cause you to shrivel up inside and even though you want to pray, you just can’t seem to find the words.

But oh! The relief of carrying our burdens to the throne of Grace! God may not give us immediate relief from the burdens of pain and suffering, but He will come alongside and shoulder a God-sized portion of our load. He has promised this. Jesus Himself said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)

Not only will God come alongside us as a result of prayer, His Spirit will help us in our weakness and inability to express our deepest emotions. “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” (Romans 8: 26-7 ESV)

I have found this to be true through experience. And I have also found great relief when I can share my burdens with other Christians and know that they are praying for me and for my loved ones. One of the greatest burdens we can bear is that of isolation and hopelessness. Finding a trusted group of fellow believers can ease the pain of bearing such burdens alone. Often, Christian friends can offer limited practical help for immediate needs or provide counseling and wisdom in our next steps. Two words of warning– no group of friends, even Christian friends, can substitute for God. Friendship should not substitute for prayer and Godly wisdom. And true friends will always point you to God rather than trying to fix everything in their own power and time frame. A true friend will not only share the “weight” of your burden, but also the “wait” for God’s answer! Secondly, “sharing” is not the same as rehearsing the same guilty secrets over and over for attention, shock value, or entertainment. It is not gossiping about the same horrible boss or nosy neighbor you can’t seem to forgive or lamenting over all the things you might have done differently as a parent (or spouse or co-worker) last week.

Prayer is deep. It is heavy. And it is powerful. But it can also be freeing, removing the burden of worry, shame, guilt, and isolation. We may enter prayer with groaning and exit with praise! God inhabits our prayers! He is with us in the groaning and in the struggle. He sends us friends and “angels unaware.” And He remains with us in victorious celebration. He provides comfort, strength, and peace as we lay our burdens down. He provides companionship, help, and hope as He shares the weight of whatever we bring to Him.

Don’t “wait” to share your burdens. Let God do the heavy lifting!

October 8, 2025 0

Declaration of Dependence

Today, America marks the 249th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. In it, colonial leaders listed several reasons why they no longer held allegiance to the British Crown. Many of their reasons involved abuses by the King or by Parliament in relating to their colonial citizens. Taxation without representation; passing unjust laws; requiring people to quarter (feed and house) soldiers who often harmed and cheated them; refusing to hold the soldiers accountable for their offenses– even murder; refusing to allow the colonials to trade with other nations, etc. But there was something more.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

In drafting and ratifying these words, the founders of the United States did something unique. They did not just establish an independent government; they established a model for both independence and dependence IN government. Government is not independent of certain inalienable rights, nor of the Creator of those rights. Governments are not the highest authority in the land. Governments are instituted and derive their power, not by their own actions and decisions, but from the consent of the governed. Governments DEPEND on their ability and willingness to serve the people.

Of course, there are wicked and improper governments, and Britain’s rule in 1776 was not the worst example of tyranny or despotism the world had ever seen. The United States has not always lived up to the ideals and principles of the Declaration of Independence. Less than a century after the Declaration was adopted, the United States was engulfed in a war that tested its ideals. The nation was divided by the issue of slavery. Nearly half of the states still practiced slavery, meaning that hundreds of thousands of people were being treated far worse than the “rebellious” colonists of previous generations. Our nation as a whole was not delivering on its promised declaration that “all men are created equal” or that they were endowed by their creator with rights to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”.

But when our nation has remembered its Dependence– our need for God and our need to care for the safety and opportunity for those under our jurisdiction–remarkable things have happened. The union was “saved.” Voting rights were not just extended but enshrined in our Constitution. Americans joined the fight in Europe and around the world on more than one occasion to secure rights for people who were being oppressed, tortured, and even exterminated. The “Promise of America” draws people from diverse nations and cultures and stands as a model for the rest of the world.

Sadly, today, many here in the United States want Independence from America. Our culture has devalued life, exchanged liberty for conformity, and traded the pursuit of happiness for indulgence and selfishness. We want to be independent of responsibility– to our families, to our neighbors, to our nation, and to God. We do not want a government that protects those rights that are endowed; instead, we want a government to give us assumed “rights” that are really permissions to defy God’s laws. We want to be free to redefine morality, escape the consequences of our own poor choices, and feel virtuous without pursuing virtue.

What will happen to our country if this trend continues? On the eve of celebrating our 250th year, we may be on the brink of falling apart. Issues like abortion, immigration, health care mandates, and transgenderism threaten to divide our country, just as slavery did over 150 years ago. Americans are divided on political, economic, religious, and cultural issues. We can’t seem to agree on what we mean by “rights, ” “freedom,” or “pursuit of happiness.” We can’t even seem to define what a “woman” is or decide how many genders to fight for. Everyone wants to speak out, but no one seems willing to listen– except to find another point of disagreement. We are no longer “united” states– we are warring factions in a series of culture wars.

But what happens when American Christians declare our Dependence on God and on His Word? Many around us have declared their independence from God’s laws–even to the point of denying His existence. Many people live in a self-imposed despotism; they are enthralled by a false “freedom” from morality, reverence, and even common sense. But Christians– wherever they live– are called to submit to the authority of Christ above all. We depend on Him– not on our customs, not on our history, not even on the words of the Declaration of Independence. And we are to lean on God, not on our own understanding or our superior morality or our ability to shout louder than the next person! Our Freedom comes through Christ alone!

True “freedom” comes from dependence, not independence. When we depend on Christ’s finished work on the Cross, we are free from the weight of Sin and the power of Death. When we depend on God’s wisdom, we find understanding. When we depend on God’s guidance and discipline, we gain freedom from guilt and shame. When we depend on God’s power to channel our emotions and energy, we find purpose and joy.

Today, I declare my utter dependence on God– on the Salvation He provided through Jesus Christ, and on the power of His Holy Spirit to lead me through this life. I am glad to be an American, but my ultimate citizenship is in Heaven. The “promise of America” is a good thing: the promise of Heaven is glorious and life-changing!

July 4, 2025 0

TGIF!

Many people look forward to Friday. For students and many workers, it marks the end of the working week and heralds the weekend. For many, it may also be payday! Fridays represent accomplishment; completion of work done, reward for recent efforts; a measure of our success. We chant “T.G.I.F.”– “Thank God it’s Friday.” But we might just as easily say, “Thank God it’s Finished!”

We’re in the Lenten season, leading up to Easter, and, of course, Good Friday. Much more significant than any ordinary Friday, Good Friday is the day we remember the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ. It was on that day that Jesus Himself cried, “It Is Finished!” just before He took his last breath.

On that first “Good Friday” there seemed to be little reason for celebration. Jesus had been found guilty in a hasty, overnight trial, by the Jewish Sanhedrin for saying that He was the Son of God– Blasphemy if one is NOT God, but simple truth if one is the promised Messiah! The Roman Governor, Pontius Pilate, after examining Jesus’ claims and trying to literally “wash his hands” of the case, turns Jesus over to be crucified by the angry mobs whipped up by the Jewish leaders. And Jesus is beaten, tortured, taunted, and nailed to a cross to die a gruesome, public death. “It is finished!” For Jesus’ followers, this meant defeat, fear, and gloom, rather than accomplishment or celebration.

But Jesus knew better. Even though His death was filled with suffering and humiliation, it was the culmination of His life on earth. And it was the necessary final scene before the next Act– the Acts of the Apostles–the coming of power and hope by the release of the Holy Spirit to indwell those who had put their faith in Jesus AS the Messiah! And so it is today. We have great cause to celebrate Good Friday. Without the Pain of the Cross, there would be no Glory of the Resurrection or Promise of Eternal Life!

Even though this Friday is not Good Friday, we can spend today reflecting on the life of Jesus– the incredible example He gave of how we are to trust in God, love others as God loves, and cherish life–both now and through eternity, as God’s gift. And we can be thankful that, because of Jesus, “IT IS FINISHED!”– the battle against Sin and Death is over. We can live abundant lives, without the fear of eternal death, and we can look beyond the curse of Sin to the Glory of Restoration and Renewal.

Thank God it’s Friday!

April 4, 2025 0

Coming Out of the Closet

For anyone who is reading this expecting a big announcement or a shocking confession– please don’t read too much into the title…this is a blog about a lifestyle of prayer, not about gender identity or sexual orientation. I want to talk about the benefits of communal prayer as opposed to prayer that is deeply personal, and takes place in isolation.

There is a time and place for solitary meditation and prayer, and it should become our habit and practice to meet with God daily. But we are told that we should also meet with and interact with others– and this includes sharing our prayer life. For many years, I was one of the “lone rangers.” I rarely met with others specifically to pray or even share prayer concerns. I would get notices on FB or e-mail, or in the church’s weekly newsletter, but it wasn’t the same. Just as God wants to hear our hearts and share communication and communion with us, he wants us to share closeness with others.

Why isn’t it enough to just go into the closet (or other quiet space) to pray? What are the benefits of praying with a small group? Here are some:

We need social interaction– FACE-TO-FACE interaction. God did not create us to live in isolation. We need to have eye contact, hear inflections and tones of voice from others, and to have others listen to ours. We need to share more than just stories on a screen– we need to share laughter, tears, and common ground. We make deeper friendships when we share concerns (not gossip), struggles, and triumphs (not bragging). And we can share burdens, recipes!, helpful tips, jokes, and more
Meeting with others helps us keep our perspective–when we are alone, our problems become bigger; our joys fade, and our talents waste away. Meeting together helps shrink our worry and pride, ignite our hope, and drive our confidence. It also opens up our world to the experiences and concerns of others and teaches us about differences and commonalities
Our faith is strengthened to hear from others who are “in the same” place in their walk; it encourages us to hear from others who have been “through the fire”; it reminds us to be grateful, and gives us an opportunity to build someone up if we have been in their shoes; and it amazes us to hear again what a mighty God we serve, and how he has been faithful
Communal prayer creates a time to break us out of our routine– whether that routine is zooming or “glooming”– we need to mix things up and get out of our rut
God commands us to meet together, to live in unity, and to lift each other up

Can you think of other benefits? Are you in the habit of praying with others? If not, you may be wondering– how do I find others? What are the ground rules (if any)? Are there issues I should be aware of?

Once again, I can list a few that come to mind or that have arisen from experience:

To find others:

Join an existing group– a Bible study group that includes prayer time; a weekly or monthly prayer meeting group; a special interest group within a local church– Moms of Pre-schoolers, or a Dorcas group, or a volunteer group that includes prayer
Start up a group! Meet weekly, twice a week, monthly– whenever, wherever, and whatever works for you and a few others. If you don’t have a space in your home or don’t want to meet at a church, be creative– meet at a park or a local coffee house, or take turns hosting a prayer meeting with others in your group. Don’t be discouraged if there are only two in your “group”; and don’t feel bad about keeping your group limited– you may find enough interested people to form two or three groups in your neighborhood!
Think outside the box– you may stumble on to a group during your commute to work each day; in your child’s play group; at the gym; at a neighborhood church you have never visited (it doesn’t mean you are being “unfaithful” to your church to reach out to fellow brothers or sisters throughout the week!)

Ground rules:

Groups should have some structure, leadership, and accountability
Participants (including leaders) should be careful not to confuse gossip for “concerns”, or use the group for a sounding board, on-going therapy, or a captive audience for their personal drama or their political or social agenda
Group leaders need to create boundaries, so participants feel free to share real burdens and concerns but take responsibility for others’ privacy and vulnerability
Groups should be open to visitors, new members, and seekers of all backgrounds

Issues to watch for–Any group that is made up of humans can fall victim to unhealthy and unwholesome practices. Just because a group meets with good intentions and calls itself a prayer group doesn’t mean that it is a “safe” place to meet. Keep your eyes and ears open for the following:

Groups that make you feel uncomfortable for showing up, or for sharing (or not sharing every one of) your authentic concerns, your questions, or your feedback. Sometimes, we can feel uncomfortable sharing about ourselves because we feel shame or guilt about our past or about our lack of knowledge or experience; sometimes we’re defensive or hypersensitive because we’re in a new situation. But if you are being made to feel ashamed or isolated or patronized, especially if you are being labeled or discriminated against, get out. LEAVE– shake the dust off of your shoes as you go (One caveat here– there are groups that meet for specific issues (see below)…if the group is meeting to pray as parents of toddlers, and you aren’t a parent or grandparent or aunt or uncle of a toddler– not only will you feel uncomfortable, but so will the rest of the group. You should still leave this group, but you can forego the shoe shaking…)
Groups that have one or two members who dominate and intimidate the other members. Leaders need to provide boundaries and structure, but they should not squash authentic dialogue or force everyone to listen to someone else’s “true confessions” (especially if it’s a repeat of the last meeting!) This is more a “comfort zone” issue than the first one– some groups just have a couple of “talkers” and a couple of “listeners”–the point here is that there needs to be a balance so that all members have a chance to contribute
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Groups that get “taken over” or sidetracked by a single issue– unless that is what you signed up for. If you are a group whose purpose is prayer, it’s not safe to assume that everyone in your group will also want to go on a protest march or volunteer an entire Saturday at the soup kitchen. There’s nothing wrong with other activities, but it shouldn’t be a requirement of your prayer group (see above)
Groups that are only “token” prayer groups–they may “share” what’s going on in their families as “requests” but they don’t actually take time to pray about them in the group setting. They talk and eat, and maybe even say “spiritual” things. There’s nothing wrong with friends getting together, whether they pray or not, but if you’re going to call it a prayer group or a prayer meeting….
That brings me to the group that uses “prayer” as a cover for gossip or grumbling. Prayer should be constructive and God-centered. If it isn’t either, it isn’t really prayer. Even if it sounds positive and holy, if it is centered on how “blessed” you are, or what you know God needs to do in someone else’s life– it isn’t really prayer unless His name is magnified and ours is minimized.
Any group that does not honor God’s word, God’s sovereignty, or God’s goodness–Not every group that prays is praying to Almighty God, in the name of Jesus Christ, or for His will to be accomplished. While prayer groups should be open to all people, and there are wonderful opportunities for ecumenical and all-faith prayer in the public forum, a weekly or monthly prayer group is probably not the best venue. That being said, I recommend exposure to various Christian prayer styles and practices– formal and ritual prayer, spirit-filled worship prayer, gospel-infused crying out, simple “popcorn” utterances, and eloquent prayers that roll off righteous tongues in an engaging crescendo, punctuated with holy hushes.

March 24, 2025 0

Free to Forgive

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” (Matthew 6:12)

Imagine being a prisoner and being told that you were free to leave! Now imagine someone refusing to leave their prison cell, and choosing to stay locked up! Why would anyone do such a thing? And yet, there are stories of prisoners who have been freed– some of them found innocent of the crimes for which they were being held–who cannot seem to adjust to freedom.

For some, the issue is legal. Even though they have been exonerated, or have served out their sentence, they still face legal consequences–even if their conviction was overturned, or their sentence fulfilled, they still wear the tag of “convicted felon.” Their record, even if legally overturned, still hangs over their head when they apply for jobs, try to register to vote, or attempt to establish credit. For most, however, the issue is psychological. They still wear the imaginary label, “guilty.” “Not fit for freedom.” “Incorrigible.” And often, society does nothing to remove those labels, but rather reinforces the idea that once found guilty, a person can never redeem their life or legacy.

As Christians, we have been given a full pardon for our sins– regardless of whether we have spent time in a physical prison or not. We are free! But we can continue to live as though we are in prison– and worse, we can continue to put ourselves in a prison of unforgiveness toward others.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) God does not keep us in a prison of guilt and shame. He is faithful to forgive us, redeem us, and renew our mind and spirit. But part of that cleansing involves letting go of our “right” to hold grudges and cling to old hurts and bitterness toward others. God is faithful to forgive US; He is also faithful to act with justice on our behalf. In forgiving others, we are not denying the justice we deserve. And in forgiving us, God does not deny justice to those whom we have hurt!

God wants to give us true freedom– freedom from guilt and freedom from the burden of injustice. HIS shoulders are big enough to offer both– perfect freedom, and perfect justice. We are allowed to be free of both burdens when we trust God to take care of it all. And we are allowed to walk out of the prison of guilt, shame, bitterness, anger, vengeance, pride, self-righteousness, and self-loathing.

Let’s face it– we have all sinned. All of us have said or done things that have hurt others. We may not know the extent of the damage our words and actions have done, just as others may not be aware of how they have hurt us. And “hurting” people often hurt others in reaction. Jesus paid the price for our sins when He offered Himself on Calvary. His sacrifice stops the cycle of “unavenged” hurt.

Sin still continues to hurt us. Forgiveness doesn’t seek to pretend that what happened never happened, or that it didn’t matter, or that our hurt isn’t real and tragic. But forgiveness allows us to walk out of the prison of living with the label “victim” or “convict” that Sin slaps on our forehead or in our heart. It allows us to breathe the free air of God’s grace and the hope of a joyful, productive, courageous future!

March 10, 2025 0

“…Lose All Their Guilty Stains!”

“There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Immanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
Lose all their guilty stains.”
William Cowper

I love old hymns. So often, they express Biblical truths in simple purity, or in soaring poetry, that captures both the imagination and the memory.

Recently, I was listening to a radio broadcast of a sermon about mercy. It was a wonderful sermon, and the pastor talked about the richness and wideness of God’s mercy and lovingkindness in various situations– when we face injustice, pain, loss and grieving, guilt, and even when we are unaware of it throughout our life (Psalm 139:16-17) From the womb to the tomb, we live in the Mercy of God– God extends His Mercy and Grace for as long as we are alive to call out for it, accept it, and receive it. More than that, His Mercy and Lovingkindness endures forever (Psalm 136).

Later that day, I was doing housework– I had dirty dishes to wash and laundry to do. And there were stains! I have plastic dishes that I used to heat up leftovers in the microwave, and some of those leftovers had tomato-based sauce or cinnamon or turmeric. The dishes have a film of red or brown or yellow that didn’t come out, even when I washed and soaked them. A few of the stains will eventually fade away, but some of them will never come out. I also have clothes that are stained. David and I still wear them around the house, but there are paint stains, ink stains, oily stains, and mustard stains that didn’t come out the first time I washed (or the second or third time!)

As humans, we all have stains of one type or another. We try to hide them; we try to scrub them; we try to cover them up. Some of our stains are external and visible– scars or blemishes, imperfections and disabilities, worn or tattered “second-hand” clothes, missing teeth, poor posture, obesity, being “too” short or tall–things that people notice right away. Other stains are deep inside– guilt, shame, fear, anger, hatred, bigotry, envy, arrogance, hopelessness, depression, broken-heartedness, loneliness– we try to hide them by isolating, covering up, pretending that all is well, or denying the extent of our brokenness.

I was touched by the sermon about how God’s Mercy reaches us in all of these circumstances. The Bible is full of examples of God’s Mercy and its transforming power. But the words of this old hymn came to my mind, and a deeper realization swelled as I sang them quietly in my own heart: “And sinners plunged beneath that flood LOSE ALL THEIR GUILTY STAINS!”

I spend time washing and scrubbing at stains– silly mistakes, accidents, upsets– and even if I am successful, I can often point out where the stains were or find the last vestiges of them on an old shirt or a white plastic bowl. But I don’t “LOSE” stains. I don’t have the power to make stains totally disappear– especially stubborn ones like ink and oil. But the stains I worry about most– guilt, pain from my past, worry about how others might judge me– these stains are all in my doubting mind. In God’s Mercy, THEY DON’T EXIST! That doesn’t mean that others WON’T still judge me, or that I won’t still remember old hurts. But God WON’T! Their power is broken. God has removed them as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12-14)

Sin leaves stains in our lives– even if the sin wasn’t ours to begin with. That person who bullied me in third grade– that left a stain. The way I reacted– that probably left a stain, too. When I nearly died as an infant– that wasn’t my sin, or even my parent’ sin. But it left a stain because I was born into a world where we have disease, defects, and disasters. I have Diabetes. Part of that “stain” can be blamed on things I ate, and lifestyle choices I made. Part of that is genetic. There are people who live with abuse, injustice, chronic pain, and lasting heartaches. And God’s Mercy didn’t stop any of that from staining their lives.

But the “fountain…drawn from Immanuel’s veins” is powerful enough, and God’s Mercy is amazing enough to make those stains disappear. In this life, I still have to deal with diabetes, fatigue, misunderstandings, and my own sinful lapses. People still struggle with cancer, poverty, war, and doubt. But the stains won’t follow Christians into eternity. There won’t be any vestiges of uncleanness; there won’t be any memory of the hurts and losses we suffered during this lifetime. Christ’s blood is powerful enough, and His Mercy vast enough to make the effects of sin DISAPPEAR!

February 7, 2025 0

Why I Don’t Pray

Of course, I DO pray. I pray a lot. I write a blog about prayer. But there are times when I find it hard to pray; times when my prayers seem feeble or awkward; times when I just don’t pray. So how does this happen, and why?

Well, there are many reasons why our prayer life can go through a dry season:

“I’m just too busy.” Sometimes, I let busyness and distractions keep me from spending quality time in prayer. I like to pray first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. But I’m not naturally a morning person, and sometimes, the night seems to get away from me. And my prayer life can suffer.
“I’d rather worry about it.” This may sound like a strange statement, but sometimes, praying about a situation seems like I’m giving up “agency” over the problem. Trusting God and letting go are easier said than done. Worrying about a problem, imagining all the things I “should” be doing, or that others should be doing to fix it gives me a sense of ownership over my circumstances.
“I don’t really want to talk to God about ‘that’.” God already knows my heart and my mind, but I want to hold on to the illusion that God loves me because I’m so good, not acknowledging that God’s love is His gift, not my reward. God wants to hear the ugly parts of my life. Yes, I stand justified by the work of Christ on the cross. I don’t have to wallow in my mistakes or beat myself up over all the ways I “fall short of the Glory of God”. But the more I try to pretend I am someone I’m not, the harder it is to remember why God loves me– He loves me because He IS Love!
“God isn’t interested in this little thing.” OR “God is tired of hearing about this chronic problem.” I can stop praying about something because I expect God to respond like a person– maybe even like me. I get tired of listening to the same things over and over. I get tired of wrestling with the same issues. I want to come to God with a problem and have it solved– quickly, easily, and permanently. But God’s ways are not my ways. And God wants me to trust Him, regardless of the situation.
“I’m not so sure about God right now. I feel let down, abandoned, or unheard.” Doubts and emotions can be so strong– if we let them take over, we will isolate, even from God. Praying during such times can even feel like hypocrisy.

There are many reasons and excuses that can cause us not to pray. I know, because I have fallen victim to them. But ultimately, they boil down to one thing– a choice.

Choosing to pray can be difficult. It involves discipline, faith, humility, and a burning desire to spend time with our Heavenly Father– even when our emotions and circumstances get in the way. It is helpful to remember why I DO pray:

God wants to hear from me. I may not always FEEL this, but the Bible is clear about it– God WANTS a relationship with me, with you, with each one of His children.
God knows the human heart. He knows our weaknesses, and He knows our hurts and how we have hurt others. And He will not turn His back on those who seek Him. There is nothing I can say to Him in prayer that will cause Him to withhold His love, His forgiveness, and His mercy. He is in the business of redemption!
God’s ways are not my ways. If I feel that God is distant because I don’t see Him clearly, or hear Him directly, that doesn’t mean He is not there. Often, I don’t want to rely on Faith– I want proof of God’s favor; I want proof of God’s protection; I want to be able to “prove” God to others, and to justify myself. Prayer in the midst of doubt and pain is the very act of dying to that need and talking to God “anyway.”

There are still times when I don’t pray as often or as earnestly as I feel I should. But, like anything else worth pursuing, it’s worth the journey and the occasional struggle. It doesn’t get “easy”– but it does get easier, and richer, and more fulfilling.

If you haven’t been praying lately, or if prayer has become dry– DON’T GIVE UP. Don’t beat yourself up. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep on in the struggle. And if prayer has been wonderful and refreshing lately, WONDERFUL! But don’t trust in the feeling of powerful prayer– trust in the One to whom you are praying! He alone makes the pursuit worth it all.

January 29, 2025 0

Father, Forgive Me!

We don’t like to talk about (or write about!) prayers of confession and repentance. And yet, the Bible is full of such prayers. In fact, even the Lord’s Prayer contains the phrase “forgive us..” Even if we pray eloquent prayers of praise and petition, our prayers will be lacking without first evaluating our relationship with Christ and seeking His forgiveness and continued cleansing.

I know there are those who will challenge this statement– after all, once we have “accepted Christ,” aren’t we considered to have His righteousness? Haven’t we BEEN forgiven? If we must keep asking for forgiveness, does that mean that Christ’s death and resurrection are not sufficient to “save” us?

I do not mean to suggest anything of the sort. We ARE forgiven– past, present, and future– our names entered in the Lamb’s Book of Life. God isn’t holding on to a grudge over every future fib, flub, or fall. And nor should we. Confession in the prayer of a Christian shouldn’t be wallowing in guilt and shame, or confessing the same sins over and over, doubting that Christ’s finished work isn’t actually finished. But just as in all close friendships, we sometimes ask, “Are we ok?”, to clear the air and maintain closeness, it is appropriate to “fess up” with God– to clear the air– precisely so that shame and guilt DO NOT build up or slowly seep into our relationship.

God will not withhold His promised salvation from us if we are trusting in Him. We are justified, and our advocate, Jesus Christ, mediates for us constantly, just as the Holy Spirit indwells us to be able to overcome temptation and do what we cannot do on our own. But WE are still living in our fallen world and fallen bodies. We will find it difficult to trust; we will find it tempting to judge others; we will doubt our own decisions– did we really do “right”? And while God is eternally faithful– we are not; nor have we reached perfection in all our daily actions and thoughts. We are “okay” with God– but confession reminds us of that!

In the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), the son rehearses a speech of confession. And even as he begins saying his rehearsed words, His father interrupts with complete reassurance of his love. How much more does God delight in reassuring us of His eternal, unfailing love!?

Two thoughts I’d like to add here:

One– It can be very easy for us to fall into confession as a works-based ritual. Confession adds nothing to Christ’s finished work on the Cross. We are saved by God’s Grace– period. Ten thousand prayers of confession will not make us “more” saved.

Two– It can be just as easy to avoid self-evaluation and discipline as we grow “comfortable” with our Christian Walk. Confession is not about “right” and “wrong” as much as it is about humility. The Apostle Paul says, “And I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns.” (Philippians 1:6 The Living Bible)

We don’t need to be hampered by guilt, fear, or shame– but we should want to keep our relationship with God pure above all other relationships. And that means being willing to submit to God’s will and God’s discipline on a daily basis. Confession is not an admission of God’s failure to save us; nor of our commitment to follow Him. Rather, it is an admission of how important that relationship is, and how much we need to keep our commitment fresh, pure, and vibrant. God HAS forgiven us; He will continue to forgive– freely, and fully!– as we follow Him.

July 12, 2024 0

My Father

One of my hobbies is genealogy. I have been tracing my ancestry (along with that of my husband and my in-laws) for many years. I am fortunate, in that I know who my parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents were, when and where they were born, and when and where they died. Most my ancestors lived in the same area for at least five generations, some for seven or eight generations.

My great grandfather and his cousin, c. 1885

I know many others who struggle with genealogy, or have lost interest in “finding their roots.” Some are adopted, or their parents were adopted. The records have been sealed, or worse, lost, and they cannot find out even the name of a parent or grandparent to trace. Others have a murky and mysterious family history– someone in their family was illegitimate or born out of wedlock and no biological father can be confirmed.

Almost everyone who works on genealogy has, as one point, “hit a wall.” There are some people whose history is lost. They moved frequently, or they lived in a city or town where records were destroyed by fire or flood; some changed their name to avoid persecution or prosecution–some where enslaved and their names erased against their will; some lived at the edge of the wilderness, where few records were kept, and fewer still survived; some died young; some were illiterate, and left no written records. Many families have boxes or albums filled with unidentified (and unidentifiable) photos.

Some genealogists “hit gold.” They find in their family history a famous person from the past– a king or queen, military hero, chieftain, statesman, scientist, artist– some person of note. Often, however, these “finds” turn out to be red herrings. Early in my research, I thought I had stumbled on to a line of descent from one of the passengers on the Mayflower. How exciting! Except I had followed the wrong line. Two men of the same name in the same town had been born just two years apart. I had found the “right” name in a book about the Mayflower descendants, but it wasn’t actually the “right” one. A similar thing happened with the name of a signer of the Declaration of Independence. I even had a cousin who insisted that this signer was our direct ancestor. But it turned out to be incorrect. We WERE related to the signer, but not descended from him. It turns out he was a great-granduncle of our ancestor.

Human genealogy can be a rewarding pursuit, or a frustrating one. But our spiritual genealogy can be crystal clear, and is full of exciting news! Our Father is the King of Kings! We don’t have to wonder who He is or whether we will be accepted and listed as a family member. His grace extends to everyone who believes on Him– and it comes with the fullness of being His Children for all eternity.

When I pray to My Father, that is not just a polite or wishful phrase. God IS my father– just like my human father, only eternal and omnipotent! I have inherited various traits from both my fathers–creativity, wonder, curiosity, a sense of purpose and responsibility, love for others and for the world around me, love of music and nature, and a love of puns(!)–and I am an heir to all the riches of my Heavenly Father’s mercy and grace. I am a descendant of all the heroes of the Faith– not physically through human birth, but by spiritual re-birth– a daughter of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. All that God promised to them, He shares with me. Not because I deserve them, or could ever earn them; because He has made it so.

Father’s Day is coming up this Sunday. And it can be a time of reflection on our earthly fathers– their strengths, weakness, failures, and relationships. Father’s Day can bring many poignant memories, or waves of bitterness or regret. And looking into our long family history– if we can find it– may result in finding patterns of behavior that have led to pain or progress. But whatever your genealogy today–whether you know it, or take pride in it, or despair of it–you can live in the awe of being a beloved and privileged child of the King! And He wants to chat with you today! We have much to celebrate on Father’s Day if we reflect on our wonderful Heavenly Father!

June 12, 2024 0

Unspoken

What does it mean when someone says they have an “unspoken” prayer request? If you are new to Christianity or to prayer, this can seem confusing. Aren’t we supposed to present our requests to the Father? Aren’t we supposed to pray for one another? How can we ask someone to pray for us, and then hold back on giving a reason? Is that “cheating” somehow?

There are several reasons why someone may ask for “unspoken” prayer, and there is no reason why we should not pray just as fervently for an unspoken request. So why would someone be reluctant or even unable to speak their request?

Sometimes, they are passing along a request from another. Someone has shared a burden, and it seems too large for just one or two people. But the original request was not shared publicly, nor did the sharer give permission to share details in a group. It is important to honor the other person’s attempt to avoid gossip and oversharing.
Sometimes, the request involves a delicate personal situation– an unsaved spouse, an aging parent facing financial difficulties, etc.– and the details of a request might cause unnecessary pain or shame to another, or strain an already tenuous relationship.
Sometimes, the person asking for prayer cannot put their request into words. They know there is a problem, but they may not fully understand what they need or even want. Sometimes, a sudden change throws them into turmoil. Other times, an unrecognized problem has been looming, and they are taken by surprise. Sometimes, there are multiple issues and layers of issues that can’t be explained easily.
Sometimes, the person is ashamed of asking. They may feel like a failure for even asking. It may be an issue they thought they had overcome, and they are reluctant to admit that it isn’t resolved. They may not be ready to confess a secret sin, but they know they need help.

Whatever the reason, we should always be willing to pray, especially when asked to do so. But how can I pray for someone who won’t or can’t tell me what they need?

In many ways it is the same– If I know that “Sue” is battling cancer, I am still praying to the same God as I am for “Janet” who can’t tell me about her recent diagnosis or her ongoing battle with a wayward teenage daughter. Yes, I can be more specific in my prayer for Sue, but I can still lift up Janet as someone who needs God’s care, protection, and encouragement. I can acknowledge that God loves both women, and that God is the only one who can meet their needs. I can praise God that HE knows all; that He is sovereign over all, and that He cares about Sue and Janet (and Me) far more than I can understand.

What are some practical guidelines when praying for “unspoken” requests?

Honor the other person’s privacy. Don’t try to drag a confession or sordid details from someone who is already struggling to share their need for prayer. Your “need to know” all the details is less than another person’s need for earnest encouragement, compassion, and support.
Concentrate on the basics— don’t try to “guess” at specifics. Pray for their general health, well-being, growth, encouragement, and strength to persevere. If you know of an ongoing situation, don’t get bogged down on praying for just that issue. Use this opportunity to uphold your friend or neighbor, brother or sister in loving prayer, not intense scrutiny.

Do not cast judgment. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “should” be more open or share more details. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “really” needs your prayer. We all know people who “overshare,” and we all know people who seem addicted to drama. We all know other people who never open up or seem independent and self-contained. Their “unspoken” requests are still “real” requests– even if they are making the third one this week. Lift up your sister or brother with love, not exasperation or comparison with anyone else. Remember, you would not want someone else dissecting your life trying to decide if your prayer requests are “worth” their time.
Thank God for the opportunity to join God in loving others! If someone is asking for your prayer, it generally means that they respect and trust you to respond. God is giving you a unique and wonderful opportunity to join in His work! Prayer of this type is not a burden or an obligation. It should be a joyful experience.
Follow up. Let the other person know that you are praying for them. If possible, pray with them, remembering that this is not an opportunity to pry, poke, or condescend, but to uplift, encourage, and invite God to act! If you get the opportunity to do so, check in with the other person in a few days or a week, to let them know you are still praying.
Use this opportunity to build your relationship. ”In what other ways can I be praying for you?” ”Is there anything I can do for you?” Don’t make a fuss. They may (even probably will) say no. Don’t pry about details, but offer practical assistance, as well as prayer, whenever possible.

I try to use this model whenever I get an “unspoken” request– whether in person, as part of a prayer chain, or scrolling through social media. EVERY request is an opportunity. EVERY request deserves my eager and faithful response.

January 17, 2024 0

Tag: shame