The Lost Art of Saying Grace

“God is great, God is Good…”
“Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest…”
“For what we are about to receive…”
“Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts…”

Saying grace at the family dinner table used to be a tradition.  So much so, that it has been made fun of several times in the movies and on television.  Some families recited a favorite prayer; others selected a family member to do the honors.  Some families held hands; some closed their eyes; some stood.  But NOBODY touched their plate until the Amen.

Grace has fallen out of favor in recent years.  Some families still practice it for the holidays or special occasions, but many of us have lost the art of saying grace.  In fact, many of us no longer have a family dinner table.  Some of us eat, sleep, and live alone; others share a house, but rarely a meal, and never a grace.  I would like to think that many of us WOULD say grace more often if  we made time and effort for it, but many others actually hold grace in contempt, calling it old-fashioned; a senseless ritual, or a meaningless tradition.

I want to look a little more closely at grace– how and why we say it, and what it means (or should mean) as part of our daily walk with God.  Calling grace a meaningless tradition may sound harsh, but it may also be a valid criticism.  If “Come, Lord Jesus…” could be replaced with “Gentlemen, start your engines…”, then it might be time to rethink the entire practice.  Similarly, if we dust off grace, only to say it for company, or to show that we still acknowledge tradition and have “good manners”, we’re missing the point.  Grace should be more than just a moment to bow our heads, say a few familiar words, and dig in…grace has become laughable and spoof-able precisely because it has become senseless, formulaic, awkward, and grudging.

I am a big fan of Jimmy Stewart. And this short clip from the beginning of the movie Shenandoah is a prayer said sarcastically by a bitter man who lost his wife and promised her that he would continue to raise their children in a “Christian” home, in spite of his own anger against God. (He later has a change of heart in the movie.) There are many other film and TV scenes that make fun of saying grace without any remorse, repentance, but with a heavy dose of disdain.

I read a tragic statement by someone who claimed that saying grace is actually “graceless”– tactless and inane.  The writer suggested that when we thank God for food, we are really thanking him for feeding us, and choosing to bless us, as he allows others to starve– that saying grace makes us feel more special/less guilty in light of social and economic inequities, which he blithely allows.  In other words, saying grace, in this person’s opinion, makes us arrogant and apathetic to the condition of others, while giving an unjust God undeserved thanks.

I would posit that it should be just the opposite.  I suppose there are many who pray with the arrogant mindset suggested above, but their mindsets and their hearts are not mine to judge.  True grace is not about the recipient of the grace, or the other potential recipients of grace, but about the giver–God– and his worthiness to receive our sincere thanks.  If I believe that God is indeed unjust, then it makes little sense to feel “blessed” or “special” at all– an unjust God is also capricious and unreasonable is not likely to be impressed or swayed by my smug “thank you,” anyway.  So not praying doesn’t make me any less arrogant or apathetic toward others, nor does it move me to be more grateful or more generous than one who prays.  It merely passes the blame for all injustice to God, leaving me off the hook, and making me feel more just than God.

tablegrace

However, if God is loving and gracious, promising perfect justice in his time, and forgiveness to those who seek him; a God who promises to be close to the poor in spirit, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, and who are broken and contrite; I am not thanking him for who I am, for what I have, or for what I think he should do.  I am thanking him for who he is and for what he has chosen to give.  Some days, I may NOT have a lot to eat, or pleasant surroundings. I may be the victim of injustice done by evil people. But I can still thank God for what I DO have and for who HE is. And on those other days, in thanking him for the very things I would take for granted, I am reminded that blessings are not given for me to boast about or hoard, but to share with others.  That’s what saying grace SHOULD do–cause us to reflect on God’s goodness, our true neediness, and our call to share God’s blessings with a needy world.

Grace is also an invitation– asking God to be part of every moment of our day.  According to his Word, he’s always present, anyway.  But grace is a way of acknowledging and welcoming that presence.  And that invitation isn’t limited to Thanksgiving or Sunday dinner with the whole gang.  That invitation can be made anywhere, by anyone, at any meal (or snack, or midnight raid on the fridge!)

Is God welcome at our dinner table?  Does he share in our drive-thru breakfast, or our trip to the deli?  Do we allow him to join us at the restaurant, where others might overhear and find us quaint and old-fashioned?  Does he sit with us in front of the TV or computer as we absent-mindedly munch on a sandwich?  Grace isn’t about our goodness, our riches, or worthiness to enjoy God’s blessings.  Grace is about a gracious God who has poured out blessings on a graceless and fallen world; a God who loves us all equally and offers to give us something more precious than food– freedom, forgiveness, and family–forevermore.

gracelady

“God IS great; God IS good; Now we thank him for our food.”
“Come, Lord Jesus, be our Guest; let this food to us be BLESSED”
“For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us TRULY grateful.”
“Bless us, O Lord, and these, THY gifts, which we are about to receive from THY bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen.”
“Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day and this food. Bless it to our good and to your glory. May all we say and do bring honor to Your Name. Amen.”

 

Lament

Where are the heroes of old?
Where are the role models?
Where are the men and women of integrity?
Where is Honor?

I look at images of sneering mobs, of angry masses.
They protest in bright colors.
They shout and wave their signs.

Where are those who mourn?
Where are those who warn of danger, crying out a warning;
Crying out for mercy?

Where are Isaiah and Jeremiah?
Where is Ezekiel? Hosea?
Where are the Apostles?
Where are the evangelists?

Everyone is shouting– who is lamenting?
Everyone is angry– who is repentant?
Everyone is righteous in their own eyes.
Yet no one is righteous– no, not one.

We have a generation worshipping comic book “gods”,
And mocking the God of Creation.
People who obsess over someone else’s right to eat an egg,
While screaming for the right to kill their own child without guilt.
Millions praying to their government for more food and better shelter
While ignoring their hungry and homeless neighbors.
While trying to bury Your Words and Your Peace.

And YOUR people, Lord…
People who bear the name of Christ
Are bragging about their blessings from You,
While criticizing others and ignoring the lost.
Those who honor You with their lips
Refuse to cry out in surrender to You;
Refuse to reach out help their neighbors.

Where are the servants?
Where is the remnant of the Faithful?
Where are the prophets? The truth-tellers?
Where are those who mourn?
Where is the Lament?

Too Clever for God?

I love puzzles, puns, mysteries– I love clever plot twists in novels. Most of the time. But there is a type and degree of “cleverness” that is offensive to me. And that is the kind of clever that is meant to sting, hurt, or humiliate.

I love the old movie with Jimmy Stewart called “Harvey.” It is a silly comedy about a man who claims to see, and talk to, a six-foot tall invisible rabbit named Harvey. Jimmy Stewart’s character, Elwood Dowd, is a mostly harmless and genial man, but he is an embarrassment to his socialite sister, and a puzzlement to his neighbors and the staff at the mental institution where his sister wants him committed. The doctors are especially intrigued by Elwood, because he appears to be intelligent, rational, and agreeable– “nice”– except for the rabbit! Meanwhile, the other characters in the film are mostly uptight, stressed, angry, and unpleasant. But Elwood has an explanation. He claims that his mother always told him there were two ways to “go through life.” You could be “oh, so clever,” or you could be “nice.” Elwood has chosen “nice.” And his life– even with its crazy invisible rabbit, is more serene, more fulfilling, than the lives of those who are “smarter” and more powerful.

Such a simple line in a silly film, but that thought resonates with me, and it matches Biblical teaching, too! The Bible has much to say about people who think that they are clever. Those who are proud of their intelligence and acumen; those who are wise in their own eyes. This is not the same as being intelligent, while acknowledging that you don’t know everything. Such “clever” people tend to be cynical, snide, and sarcastic. The Bible calls them “mockers”– people who make fun of and belittle others; those who use their intelligence and quick thinking as a weapon to bludgeon and bully their way through life.

We see and hear it often on television, in government, on talk radio, or comedy routines. We hear it in conversations among groups of peers in the workplace or in social situations. There’s always at least one person who entertains others with jokes or stories that are “wicked” funny– jokes that might make you a bit uncomfortable in certain situations, because you know they are unkind, unjust, or downright offensive–even if they are funny. Jokes that get a laugh at someone else’s expense. Remarks that “burn” people with differing beliefs, opinions, or lifestyles. We sometimes even hear it in the church, with harsh remarks for those who think or worship differently from us.

Just like Elwood Dowd’s mother, God has given us a blueprint for life– we can go through life being “oh, so clever” or “nice.” We can be arrogant; overly certain that we know everything, heaping contempt on those who are struggling or who don’t see things “our way.” Or we can be humble and kind; listening to others, offering loving encouragement and counsel, rather than snide “I told you so’s”, embarrassing comparisons, or pithy quips.

The Apostle Paul, in Galatians 6, outlines how we should not only “bear our own burdens” by taking responsibility for our own strengths, weaknesses, faults, and duties, but also “bear one another’s burdens” by showing compassion and reaching out in love. In the middle of this advice, Paul warns us against deceiving ourselves, and reminds us that “God is not mocked” (v. 7)– We cannot dismiss God’s Holiness in our own life, nor can we dismiss God’s command to love our neighbor. Anyone who does mock God (and those made in His likeness!) are deceived in thinking they are clever and beyond judgment.

Recent world events have reminded me of this truth. The opening ceremony at the Paris Olympics was marred by a “clever” but offensive display. Those who organized it and put it on, “explained away” the offense, claiming it was something entirely different; that their actions were not offensive, and those who were offended were misinterpreting their intentions. Many of them are sneering at Christians, even as they “mythsplain” their mockery. But their actions weren’t just mocking Christians around the world, they were mocking Christ. And many of us Christians responded with our own angry and mocking comments, memes, and posts, calling them names, or worse. But God– and God alone– is Holy and Just. Those actions will be punished, but they will be justly punished by God Himself. In fact, if any of those who participated in that display (and any who have responded hatefully) will repent and turn from their mockery and sin, Christ Himself has already paid the price for their actions!

People can be mocked. Even Christians can be mocked. Christ can be laughed at, spit upon, and even crucified in this fallen world. But God is eternally Holy and Just. He will have “the last laugh.” No one is too clever for God. The same people who laugh at Christ will someday bow before Him in worship, acknowledging that He is the King of Kings. That same King offers His Grace to each of us.

Christ isn’t about being “clever” or smug. Even though He has the perfect right to boast. He chooses to be “nice.” He chooses Grace. He chooses Love. And THAT makes all the difference!

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