Language Matters

I’m not talking about English v Spanish or French or Urdu, but our ‘language’ very much matters. The words we choose to say make a difference. They reveal much more than just what we’re thinking or feeling. They reveal character.

When I was in college, I lived in a dorm that was co-ed by suite. That meant that two freshmen boys lived across the hall from my roommate and me (both seniors). They were nice guys, but their language was often crude. Once, I spoke to one of them about his use of the “F” word. He responded by digging up a typed-up sheet singing the praises of that word. It was versatile– it could be a noun, a verb, an adjective, or an exclamation! It had a long history, tracing back to Medieval English usage. It carried power and shock value. People like me were prudes, afraid of using powerful words and intimidated by traditional moral codes and “language snobs” who judged others. After all, we lived in America, d*** it! The land of free speech. Who was I to try to make him feel bad about his words?!

On the surface, he wasn’t wrong. The word is not “illegal”; it poses no immediate threat or danger. It is not a word meant to belittle or “cancel” its hearers, like an ethnic or racial epithet. What was the harm? Who was I to lecture him? His roommate stood by and said nothing, but his own language hadn’t been much better. Was I wrong to say anything? I was only a few years older, and a fellow college student? Was I just being prudish? It wasn’t as if he had told racist jokes or called me a crude name? What was the big deal? It was one four-letter word.

But it reveals something about the character of the person who makes a habit of sprinkling such words in their conversations. It says that their “freedom” to use such words is of greater value than their respect for their listeners. It says that the speaker chooses not to practice self-control over their speech (and likely over other parts of their life). It may reveal sloppy or lazy thinking and a weak vocabulary. And, whether we like it or not, it labels us; people will judge us based on how we speak, and on the words we choose. Even though celebrities and professors use such language. Even if such language is considered popular and even “cool.” And it encompasses all of our word choices–blasphemy and crude language, negativity in our speech, bragging and boasting, a propensity for gossip and smearing the reputations of others, lying and ‘stretching the truth’– the list goes on. Just because we CAN say something doesn’t make it wise or helpful or powerful or “right.”

^3-5A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! ^5-6It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. ^7-10This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!^10-12My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you? ^13-16Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here’s what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn’t wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn’t wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn’t wisdom. It’s the furthest thing from wisdom—it’s animal cunning, devilish plotting. Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats. ^17-18Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. (James 3:3-18 –The Message)

This “taming of the tongue” is especially problematic for the one who wishes to pursue Holiness and Christlikeness. The Apostle James, in his epistle, spends almost an entire chapter discussing the issue of purity in speech (or lack thereof)! He compares it to taming a wild beast or trying to put out a raging fire. Because careless language can do as much damage as deliberate malicious or violent action. Passing along gossip may seem fun in the moment, but it can ruin an innocent reputation, AND cause people to lose trust in your ability to keep privacy, or respect others. Crude language may seem empowering and brave the first few times you use it, but it becomes habitual and attaches to your character. Snide remarks about others– social or ethnic groups, people who vote differently than you, annoying neighbors with a different ‘accent’– may seem offhand and innocuous, but they reveal your pride, lack of respect, and inability to live in peace and harmony. You become known for your ‘salty’ dialogue or your sarcastic “zingers”. You use certain words more and more often until they lose all the ‘power’ they once had to shock or intimidate. Opportunities to speak up on important matters may be given to others who can control their professional and responsible use of language. Not because your thoughts lack purpose or power, but because you show everyone that you lack the power to choose words wisely for maximum influence, peacefulness, and persuasion. And for the Christian who has developed the habit of taking the Lord’s name ‘loosely’, it lessens the impact of your witness that Christ is really your beloved Lord and King. He’s just another character whose name and reputation you toss around carelessly.

James makes a very real point in his letter– NO ONE can tame the tongue. It is natural and human to repeat words we hear, words that seem so convenient, so simple. Only with the help of the Holy Spirit can we ‘re-wire’ our brains and our tongues to speak words that give honor to others, Glory to God, and reflect wisdom and discipline that we are receiving from God Himself. We won’t always get it right– especially if we do not develop discipline in our speech. And we can’t do it at all without deliberate effort and dependence on the Spirit’s help

But language DOES matter. The guy across the hall in the memory above– we never saw eye to eye about this issue, though we remained friends. But his roommate surprised me many weeks after the above interaction. He was introducing me to one of his classmates, and the other young man started telling a story laced with profanity. My young friend stopped his buddy mid-sentence and challenged him to mind his language. “She’s a lady. She doesn’t appreciate that kind of language.” His friend seemed surprised, but he immediately cleaned up his words. And I’m almost positive it wasn’t because I gave off “Lady” vibes of any kind. I don’t even think it related directly to the incident above with the other roommate. My friend had listened to my roommate and I– he had taken note of the way we spoke, and the way we DIDN’T speak. He knew we were Christians, and that we didn’t just “talk the talk”– our lives and our language showed that we wanted to honor God above all. And when he heard his friend speaking in my presence– there was a huge mismatch. He could hear the difference immediately. He didn’t demand the “right” to use (or force me to listen to) foul language. Instead, he started to see (and hear) the wisdom and even the power of self-control.

This holds true for prayer, as well. Not that most of us use profanity in our prayer life. But how often do we use words that are negative, doubtful, selfish, or envious? Do we pay careful attention to the very words we bring before the King of Kings and our Loving Savior? Do we try to wheedle and plead instead of presenting our requests to God with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6-7)? Do we approach God as “the man upstairs” or my “Father, who are in Heaven” (Matthew 6:9)? Is He my heavenly honcho, or the Eternally Holy One and the Victorious Lamb of God?

Today I pray that my speech would reflect the Love, Wisdom, and Power of God. We are to be “salt and light” (see Matthew 5:13-16), not “salty.” Our words can bring encouragement, hope, joy, peace, empowerment, and yes, even conviction to others! But we must tame the tendency to use careless words that bring destruction, conflict, arrogance, or insult. And we must reflect on how our words reflect our heart for God– especially when we use them to pray!

September 23, 2026 0

Let No Tongue On Earth Be Silent..

“O ye heights of Heav’n, adore Him,
Angel hosts His praises sing.
Pow’rs, dominions, bow before Him,
And extol our God and King.
Let no tongue on earth be silent,
Ev’ry voice in concert ring,
Evermore and Evermore!”

“Silent night, Holy night…” Tradition has it that Christ was born on a cold and silent night. The Bible doesn’t exactly say when he was born. It does say that the angels appeared to shepherds who were keeping watch over their flocks by night; and that the wise men of the East followed a star to find the newborn King. But the Bible doesn’t talk about the night being unnaturally silent or cold– these are details we’ve added to the story that may or may not be accurate.

But one thing is certain– whatever silence may have settled over Bethlehem near the time of Christ’s arrival; whatever lull in the hustle and bustle of the busy city’s streets–there was no silence among those who heard the good news of His birth. From the singing hosts of Heaven’s angels, to the excited voices of the shepherds, the inquiring whispers among the wise men, and the nervous recitations of the prophecies among Herod’s advisors, Christ’s birth was met with a symphony of reaction.

And so it continues–as Christmas Eve and Christmas Day approach, hymns will be sung, rich with words like “Hallelujah,” “Joy, ” “Blessed,” “Adore,” “Savior,” “Lord,” “Wonder,” “Glory,” “In Excelsis Deo,” “Redeemer,” “King,” and “Emmanuel!” From every nation, and in every language, praise and worship will erupt from homes and churches. And this is in addition to prayer and worship that rises in an unbroken stream around the globe each day, every day.

Even during this time of Advent, when we spend some time in silent reflection, we await the music and joyful sounds of Christmas. And we have songs for this season, too. Songs and prayers as we think abou the glory to come.

It fills me with wonder to think that at any given moment, someone, somewhere, is praying and praising our Wonderful God. But millions of tongues are silent– even on Christmas–in response to God’s Everlasting Love and Grace. There are millions, even billions of tongues that will greet Christmas Day without wonder, without hope, without joy. Billions who will grumble about the weather, or the outcome of a sporting match, or their family relationships. Tongues that might be singing will be mumbling, boasting, yelling, or complaining this season.

Someday, “no tongue on earth” will be able to keep silent in response to the Messiah. “Every knee shall bow, in Heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:10b-11 NIV)

Can you imagine a choir made up of every single human being–“every voice in concert”– declaring the worth and majesty of God’s Holy Lamb?! This babe born to be the Prince of Peace; this Only Begotten of the Father; our Emmanuel– He is worthy of such a concert! Let NO TONGUE on Earth be silent! Let us Extol Him! How Great Our Joy!!

December 4, 2024 0

The Weight of Words

Words have weight– I’m not talking about thousand-page novels or multi-syllable legalese terms– some words simply weigh heavier on the mind and heart than others. Some everyday words spill out like dust motes carried on a light breeze. They hang suspended in midair, without any set purpose or destination, and finally settle, forgotten, until someone sweeps them away. Other words explode, sending shards and pellets at unwary targets. Some words thunder like falling rocks in an avalanche of guilt or anger or hatred. And some rare and precious words have the weight of a quilt or a hug, or an arm lifting you up when you are falling.

One of the amazing things about prayer is that as we pour out our words before the Savior, the weight of our words is lifted off our hearts and minds and given to him to carry– the weight of the guilt, the weight of worry, the weight of grief, the weight of anger, the weight of hurt. Not only does God take on the weight of our words (and our pain and guilt), but he makes sense of it all– maybe not instantly, or in the way we imagine– but he brings order and goodness out of our chaos and burden.

And those everyday words swirling around like dust fall into the light, where they shine like gold dust in His presence. When we bring everything to God, he transforms it; he transforms us.

Our words have weight in prayer. And our words to others have weight, as well. Today, I want to weigh my words carefully. Are my words burdening others, or helping them lift a load of care? If I had to carry the weight of my words– my criticisms and clever put-downs, my accusations and angry tantrums, my bragging and comparisons– would I be dragging them behind me with joy and pride? What if, instead, my words were filled with the weight of shared laughter, encouragement, hope, and compassion? What if my words held the weight of truth and kindness and peace?

Would it change the weight of my prayers?

May 3, 2024 0

Sticks and Stones…

Children can be very inventive when finding ways to hurt other children. Name-calling, shunning, shaming, or just pushing, shoving, and tripping each other on the playground. As parents, teachers, and concerned adults, we should be working to instill compassion and discipline in our children– compassion to see how such actions and words hurt, and discipline to keep them from speaking and acting out of emotion and carelessness. We also spend time wiping away the tears and comforting those children who have been bullied and hurt by their peers. And we teach them sayings like, “Stick and stones may break my bones, but words (or names) can never hurt me.” Such sayings mean well, but they are not entirely true. Words and names can hurt. They DO hurt. And they don’t just hurt the person who is the target of such words. They hurt the speaker and everyone who lets the words fall unanswered, or who picks up the words to hurt someone else.

Christians should stand out as beacons of light and love. Yet many of us are guilty of throwing “sticks and stones” every bit as hurtful and thoughtless as those hurled by playground bullies.

A few years ago, I read with some shock a hate-filled article from a Christian woman who was urging all her Christian friends to boycott “Operation Christmas Child”, a group sponsored by Samaritan’s Purse, a charitable organization founded by Franklin Graham, son of the famous Evangelist, Billy Graham. Every year, Operation Christmas Child sends out millions of shoeboxes filled with Christmas gifts, meant for some of the poorest children around the world– orphans, refugees, and those in extreme poverty. But according to this woman, Operation Christmas Child is a hate-filled organization, spreading racism and condescension by sending “white” “western” baubles meant to taunt the recipients–useless articles like dolls and toy cars and color books with crayons. She also called out Mr. Graham as a racist, homophobic, hate-monger who should be — well she did stop short of asking for his assassination, but not by much. (I’m not here to champion Mr. Graham. But she gave no examples of racism and homophobia, nor did she give Mr. Graham any chance to defend his organization.)

Her proposal was that anyone wishing to help someone in a “third-world” country should instead send their donations to a group that provides livestock– goats and chickens–to struggling farmers and families in developing countries, giving them the means to be self-sufficient, independent, and providing practical help instead of “frivolous toys”.

I spent hours crafting a response to this woman’s article– one I later deleted without sending. I believe her proposal came from a heart that sincerely wanted to help others in practical ways. And I think her hatred and disgust for Operation Christmas Child was based on criticisms she felt were warranted. But her article left me in tears for three reasons:

It was hateful and filled with the kind of name-calling and condemnation that Christians should not just avoid, but mend and correct with love and grace. That doesn’t mean that we cannot say anything negative about other Christians or criticize their actions if they seem inconsistent with the Gospel. But there are Biblical guidelines for doing so.
Second, the article was divisive. She did not allow that anything about Operation Christmas Child could be done with a loving motive or a positive outcome. And she was ready to condemn anyone connected to the organization– including anyone who refused to join in her condemnation. Because she found issue with the founder and with the design of the boxes and certain contents, she felt justified in condemning everything and everyone connected with it. And because she had found a solution that made her feel virtuous, she wanted every Christian to follow suit. There was no room for any other group who might send toys or school supplies to children. There was no room for mercy or the possibility that her judgment was biased or tainted.
Finally, I believed her article was driven primarily by the passing emotions of rage and disgust. It came from a place self-righteousness, instead of a desire to do whatever she could to honor God and help those He loves. In fact, the majority of those living in poverty around the world (and thus subject to the goals of the charities she contrasted) live in urban areas–often they are homeless or live in crowded refugee camps or sprawling housing complexes. Sending livestock can certainly help farms or families who have land and food available to tend them. It is a helpful and loving gift to send a goat to a family or small village–it is however, impractical to send a pair of chickens to someone living in a high rise in Nairobi, Mumbai, or Tegucigalpa, and her advocacy shows a “western”, “white” naivete that rivals the one she sees in dolls and color books and cartoon pictures printed on the boxes used to send them.

My response was no better–it pointed out her faults (as I saw them), and was designed to make her feel foolish and belittled and “wrong”. And just because I deleted it then, I obviously have not forgotten the incident. But I bring it up now because I see in it an ongoing problem—one to which I am not immune, even as (or maybe especially as) a Christian. It is very easy, especially with social media, to speak “in the moment”– and often in the emotion of the moment. We react, rebuke, chime in with our “two cents,” and let our tongues (and fingertips) destroy when they should be building up.

As schools throughout my area are starting a new year, I am reminded that bullying and name-calling are ongoing problems, and they aren’t just happening in school yards and on buses, and in classrooms. I need to ask myself: Am I hurling sticks and stones, as I sneer at those with whom I disagree? Am I like the playground bully, finding delight in calling others names, or laughing at their expense? Am I tearing down other Christians because I hear others being critical? Or am I using my tongue (and my keyboard) to bless others? Do I speak the truth (harsh as it sometimes is) with love and grace, or with pride and condescension? Do I listen more than I speak? Would I want Jesus to read my Facebook posts or hear my conversations? (Because He DOES!) Does He speak through me?

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” Proverbs 25:11

*Taken from pinterest.com, based on Proverbs* 25:11

So let’s hand out “apples of gold” this school year– whether teachers, students, parents, or bloggers–let’s spread love and healing. And, where there is bullying, angry recrimination, or harsh judgment, may we be defenders and peacemakers. Our words can build people up, or tear them down– even those caught in the crossfire. Let’s teach our children (and relearn the lessons ourselves) to honor God with our words, both spoken and written!

May His words take up residence in our hearts and spill out of our mouths and fingertips today!

August 23, 2023 0

How Great Thou Art!

“O Lord My God! When I in awesome wonder consider all the worlds Thy hands have made…Then sings my soul…” (emphasis added) When was the last time you spontaneously broke into the kind of wonder and praise that we find in this old familiar hymn? If it has been awhile, let today be the day that you joyously and loudly sing praise to our Awesome and Great God.

So often, I come to prayer focused on myself– my needs, my unworthiness, my circumstances. But prayer is the act of communicating with the One who is all-sufficient, all-worthy, all-powerful, and all-loving. As we pray, it will often happen that all the cares and concerns melt away in the wonder and insight that we are actually talking to GOD!

But there are times when we miss the great opportunity to fully open ourselves to the Glory and Majesty of Our Father. Yes, we communicate; Yes, He still hears us. But we fail to come away with the full blessing of having spoken WITH God. We speak TO Him; we even speak OF Him. But when we speak WITH God, we are in the presence of such majesty, that we are left beyond words! Our Soul Sings! Our Heart is overflowing! Our mind is overwhelmed with the concept!

Prayer is so much more than what we say; so much more than what we think. God is so much bigger, so much greater, so much MORE than anything we can describe, anything we can imagine! And THIS is who we approach when we pray.

If you have the opportunity, spend some time in nature today. Look up at the sky– clouds, stars, and the endless canopy of space– and let the Majesty of God fill your senses as you make time for prayer. If you cannot get outdoors, find a picture or film or website to remind you of the grandeur of God’s wonderful creation. And then, sing out, shout out, pray and praise the Maker of the Universe, and the Lover you Your Soul! This same God of the beginning is the God who was, who IS and who is to come! The same miracles He has done in the past, He will do NOW and through all time.

There is NOTHING too big or too difficult for God. There is nothing too small or unimportant for Him to do, either. And what He does, He does with Joy and in Love! He rejoices over every one who comes to salvation. He rejoices over every one who comes to Him empty and tired and discouraged– and He rejoices to give them rest, and hope, and strength for the journey ahead. He offers Grace and Beauty from ashes. He offers Eternal Life and Everlasting Peace!

And if that doesn’t make your soul sing, I don’t know of anything else that can!

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

For more information about the hymn– its origins and meaning– check out this site: https://www.godtube.com/popular-hymns/how-great-thou-art/

May 15, 2023 0

In the Beginning Was the Word…

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ²The same was in the beginning with God. ³All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. ⁴In him was life; and the life was the light of men. ⁵And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not. ⁶There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. ⁷The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe. ⁸He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light. ⁹That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world. ¹⁰He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not. ¹¹He came unto his own, and his own received him not. ¹²But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: ¹³which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. ¹⁴And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.
John 1:1-14 (Authorized KJV)

We celebrate Christmas as the “birth” of Christ. Yet, the Bible tells us that Jesus (Christ) was in the beginning with God: Jesus had no beginning and no end. He is eternal with the Father and Spirit. We call this season before Christmas “Advent”– we await and celebrate, not the birth of a new being, but the advent of His coming from Heaven to earth.

Jesus came to Earth for many reasons– some of which are given in the Bible, and some of which are likely beyond our comprehension. He came to live among us as a man of flesh and bone (John 1:14); He came to bring life and light (vv.4-9); He came to live a sinless life, which He sacrificed as a ransom for the sins of the those who repent: and He came to serve others–to model the kind of service that God desires from us (Matthew 20:28). Jesus came in obedience to the Father (John 6:38). Finally, Jesus (as a member of the Triune Godhead) came because “God so Loved the World” (John 3:16) –He Wanted to come! The Advent was part of God’s perfect plan. It was not Plan B, developed after the fall of man. It was so “from the beginning.” It was foretold and prophesied. It was planned down to the tiniest detail.

Jesus has always been. He has always been The Word of God. Jesus speaks. Jesus listens. When we pray, it is natural to speak words to The Word. Jesus created us to communicate. Unlike any other creature on earth, mankind chooses to communicate through complex and subtle language, as well as through art, music, dance, architecture…even food! We chatter about trivia; we choose to wear certain colors to express our moods; we make silly faces at infants and delight in their own facial contortions.

Prayer is so important, because it is the essence of expressing our hearts and minds to the very one who created us to BE communicators. God listens through all the words of all the languages we use (or the non-verbalized thoughts, groanings, etc.) to hear our true heart-cry.

This season, we take time to reflect on just what it means that Jesus was “In the Beginning…” as well as in the manger. We reflect that “before Abraham was”–He IS (John 8:58). We glory in the knowledge that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever! (Hebrews 13:8). These “words” give us life and hope and joy– not just now, but throughout all the years of our lives.

What a reason to say just a few words today in prayer!

December 12, 2022 0

Oh, Be Careful, Little Tongue

13 Suppose I speak in the languages of human beings or of angels. If I don’t have love, I am only a loud gong or a noisy cymbal. ²Suppose I have the gift of prophecy. Suppose I can understand all the secret things of God and know everything about him. And suppose I have enough faith to move mountains. If I don’t have love, I am nothing at all. ³Suppose I give everything I have to poor people. And suppose I give myself over to a difficult life so I can brag. If I don’t have love, I get nothing at all.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (NIRV) via biblegateway.com

We run a small shop, my husband and I. The other day, a sweet-looking elderly lady came in looking for antique buttons. She was delighted to find a few that would suit her purpose and she came to pay for them. We struck up a conversation, and I was appalled to hear the words coming out of her mouth. It was like listening to an R-rated stand-up comedian–filled with profanities and bigoted remarks–all delivered in quiet, honeyed tones. I was stunned!

Such talk becomes habitual. Most people don’t even notice how often they say offensive words or off-color remarks. In this situation, I simply kept a kind of stony silence– I neither exploded with offense, nor nodded in compliance. She stopped talking and made her exit, knowing she had somehow displeased me, but likely unaware of how she actually sounded. I felt guilty for not having challenged her, but I truly think she was oblivious. She had not been swearing in anger; she had not used obvious slurs, but to me, her language was like a cesspool. My ears felt dirty just listening.

But after I had judged her harshly, I turned the lens on myself. How often do I offend others with my language? I don’t mean with obvious swear words or racist language, but with careless statements or unkind sarcasm? Or with selfish empty boasts about how wonderful my life is or even how good God has been to me? How often do I sound like a clanging, clamoring “noisy cymbal?”

I love to talk, but do I talk with Love? Do I speak words of truth and beauty; blessing and encouragement? Do I speak words of conviction out of love for others, or out of my own contempt? Do I pray with a heart of grieving for those who struggle, and those who are lost? So I assume, as this woman did, that my ugly words will be accepted because I speak them in polite and dulcet tones to someone who looks like me? Or because “everyone else” I know uses such words or spreads such opinions? Do I choose to listen to celebrities, or neighbors, or family members whose speech is filled with hatred and filth? Do I add my nervous laughter when others make careless remarks– worse yet, am I developing bad habits in my own speech or in my social media interactions?

Oh, be careful, little tongue!

August 6, 2021 0

Tag: speech