Close to the Broken Hearted

As I write this, I am keenly aware that one year ago, I was at a graveside, saying farewell to my mother. Grieving comes in waves. I rejoice that she is in heaven, and I rejoice that she had a good, long life, and that she didn’t suffer very long at the end. But there is still an ache– wanting to share a memory or a laugh and knowing she isn’t here; questions I didn’t know I had, but now she can’t answer them; just missing her voice and her smile. My father has been gone for 25 years, and the same ache still hits at odd moments.

Sometimes, grieving brings us closer to God. At other times, we can let our grief drive us away from God. But God doesn’t move. He is ever-present. And He reminds us that He is “close to the broken hearted” (Psalm 34:18). When we are grieving, that is a blessed reminder. Grief tends to isolate us. “No one understands…” “Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you; cry, and you cry alone.” We see the “rest of the world” enjoying life, seemingly untouched by sorrow, and we feel abandoned twice over.

As Christians, we are called to follow Jesus’ example, and be close to the broken hearted. We should be the ones ready with a hug, a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on. We should be the ones who, like the friends of Job (before they offered ill-advised ‘counsel’) are willing to sit with our suffering friends for days at a time, offering the comfort of solidarity and ‘presence.’

My family was blessed with a host of Christian friends and family who comforted us in the days and weeks after Mom’s passing. They still ask. They still share memories. They still pray for us. And in return, we do the same. God does not want any of us to suffer alone.

And this is also true for those who suffer a broken heart for other reasons– divorce, the loss of a home to fire or flood, the loss of a job, a wayward son or daughter– it is important for us to draw strength from others, and offer strength in our turn. But the source of our strength is Jesus, who suffered on our behalf, and rose victorious over death and separation. When “no one” understands, He DOES. When the world leaves us grieving alone, He is THERE. And when we see someone else grieving and suffering, and we don’t know what to do– He gives us the strength and the compassion to reach beyond our own resources and offer comfort.

On our own, we can be like Job’s friends– after awhile, we try to offer solutions, explanations, even judgment about another’s grief. “It’s time to move on.” “Just get over it.” “Well, if only you had…” None of these are helpful. Jesus never said any of those things to the people He came to comfort. Instead, He encouraged them to look to Him as the “resurrection and the life.” (see John 11:25).

Today, let us do the same. There are hurting people all around us. Let’s be an encouragement to others to embrace life– even when we are broken hearted.

My Father’s Heart

I can still remember as a small child of 3 or 4, after my Dad came in from mowing the lawn, climbing up and snuggling close to his chest to listen to the beat of his heart. Dad smelled of new-mown grass and honest sweat, and his heart was beating—thumpity, THUMP-Thump, thumpity THUMP-thump–I could almost feel it beating through his chest. It would start out racing, and gradually slow to a steady Thump-thump Thump-thump.

Looking back, I marvel at my Dad’s patience. Here he was, fresh from working on the lawn, hot, sweat-covered, and exhausted, only to be met with a wiggly child, intent on chattering, and interrupting his precious “relaxation” time. But as I wiggled, Dad’s tender arms would come around me, and both of us would become quiet and just enjoy being together, listening to the beat of his heart. They were precious moments.

My dad worked long hours at a mind-numbingly boring job. He worked for a large pharmaceutical company, but he wasn’t a chemist, or an engineer. He was a “bagger.” His company produced anhydrous citric acid for industrial and commercial use. As the name implies, citric acid is caustic, even in powder form, and Dad had to wear special gloves and shoes, plastic glasses with side shields, and other gear to protect his skin, hair, and eyes from the possibility of burns. He worked, sometimes 16-18 hour shifts (overtime, or time-and-a-half) at a station in a small, hot room. His job was to fit a bag to the end of a chute, push a button, and stand there as 50 or 100 pounds of citric acid filled the bag. He then carefully took the bag off the end of the chute and moved it to another machine, where the top edge would be stitched closed. Finally, he would lift and carry the full bag to a conveyer belt, so it could travel to the shipping room to be loaded on to skids and sent all over the world. Sometimes, he would cover someone else’s shift in the shipping room, loading the bags onto the skids or even loading the skids onto trucks or train cars, but most of the time, he was alone in a drab, overheated, powder-filled room.

I once asked my father how he could stand to do what he did every day. It was hot, heavy, boring, and mostly thankless work. Fit the bag, push a button, move the bag, push a button, move the bag again, and start all over. Always on his feet, always lifting his arms. No one to talk to; nothing to watch or listen to but the machinery around him. But my dad was content. He didn’t find his identity in his work, although he was proud to have a good-paying, steady job. He was thankful for his ability to be consistent and productive. He was proud of his good attendance record and his dedication. But he wasn’t married to his work, and he wasn’t working for money or fame or status. He was a Christian first, and a husband and father next. He was as steady as his heartbeat. Always reliable, even-tempered, trustworthy– solid.

My father worked at the same company for over 28 years (in fact, the company changed names twice while my dad worked there!). When he retired, we threw him a surprise birthday party/retirement party. But Dad’s heart was wearing out. All those years of work were taking their toll Dad spent two years of retirement enjoying some travel and relaxation, but his last two years were spent in and out of the hospital with surgeries and complications, physical limitations, and chronic pain.

Finally, the day came when Dad’s heart broke. He had been in the hospital overnight, and the surgeons had done all they could. They had “zapped” dad with the defibrillator. They had done compressions until his breastbone was broken and each compression was pressing shards of bone into his chest and close to his lungs. One last time, I stood, with my mom and sister, watching Dad’s heartbeat on the monitor. It was steady, but so, so weak. Dad’s once-solid arms were too weak to reach up from the bed; his blue eyes were dim, and he struggled to breathe. We said a last prayer and told Dad that all was ready for him to go Home at last. And his heartbeat faded to a straight line on the monitor.

Dad’s heart was huge in life– steady and strong, patient and solid. His faithfulness gave us all a glimpse of our Father’s heart in Heaven. Dad was a humble man. He was a man who sacrificed the life he could have lived to take on a thankless, boring, demanding job so we could have nice things and opportunities as his children. He also took the job so that, after those long hours, he would have time off during the week, so he could come to some of our school programs, and take family day-trips, and just “hang out” with friends and neighbors in the community. He mowed our lawn, but he also mowed lawns all around the neighborhood– for shut-ins, elderly couples, and those who were sick or didn’t have a mower. His heart was not only strong, it was incredibly tender. Dad cared about the little things…he loved children and animals; he cried for the National Anthem, and at prayer meetings. When I read about Jesus welcoming little children, it made perfect sense, because it is exactly what my own father would have done and said.

Dad wasn’t perfect, of course. He was only human. He made mistakes. And he died. But he made a profound impact on those who knew him, and he lived a life that drew people to Faith and Hope in Jesus. The Bible doesn’t make clear whether or not we will have “hearts” like our present human hearts when we are with the Father in eternity. But I know my Father’s Heart. It’s even better than my Dad’s. Some days, even here on earth, I can hear its steadfast, solid rhythm in the greetings of neighbors, in birdsong, or on the wind. And I can stop wiggling, and just be held in His tender arms.

Building Blocks of Healthy Prayer

When I was in elementary school, we learned about nutrition. Back then, we were taught that there were four basic food groups (nutrition education has gone through several “cycles” since then– food pyramid, healthy plate, “eating the rainbow”, etc.). Eating a healthy balance of foods is essential to good health. If I only eat meat, or only sweets, I will not be healthy. If I just eat whatever or whenever I feel like it, my body won’t get all the necessary nutrients to grow, fight off diseases, and stay strong.

Pursuing a healthy prayer life includes essential “building blocks” or nutrients, as well. Over the course of many years, I have seen various guidelines and acronyms to help include different building blocks in prayer. I want to share a couple of them again today. These guidelines are just that– guidelines. But they can help balance our prayer life, and help it grow.

The first acronym I learned, and the one I have used for decades, is ACTS. Here’s how it works:

  • Adoration/Acknowledgement– begin each prayer by acknowledging God’s Sovereignty, His Holiness, His Goodness, and other qualities worth worshipping. This helps put you in the right frame of mind when talking to God. I am not just talking to a neighbor or a “good buddy”– I am speaking with the One who holds all of Creation in His hands! And He WANTS a relationship with me! He is all-powerful: there is nothing I can ask that He cannot do! His is all-loving: there is nothing I can ask that He won’t filter through His loving wisdom and will. Even if I don’t know what to ask for; even if I ask for the “wrong” thing– God will only allow those things that He can use for good. God is beyond space and time: He knows all that has happened– all the triumphs and tragedies of my life so far, and all that is to come. He is LORD: He is in control– now and forevermore. Whatever seemingly impossible circumstances I face, they are nothing compared to the eternal, almighty plans of God.
  • Confession–This doesn’t mean an endless repetition of all my failures and sins from six months ago, or raking myself over the coals for not being “holy enough.” This is an honest assessment of who I am in relation to God. God is Holy and perfect. I am not. If I acknowledge God’s goodness, I must also acknowledge that I fall short. I don’t know everything. I don’t always act with the right motives. I NEED the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and I DEPEND on Christ’s finished work on Calvary for my Salvation. This should naturally lead to
  • Thanksgiving/Trust– I can trust God to save me, NOT because of who I am, but because of what He has done. I can see God’s hand working in and around and through me as I yield to His Spirit in me. I can recall, and acknowledge so many of the ways that God has blessed me and others around me. Once I have these building blocks in place, I can bring burdens to God through
  • Supplication– this is just a fancy term for asking God to work His will in specific areas– healing, guidance, encouragement, strength, understanding, submitting to His will, and following Him. I can ask for personal help, or lift up family members, neighbors, friends, and yes, even enemies! I can pray about situations great and small–from wars and famines to lost keys and short tempers.

I learned about ACTS when I was in college, and I have found it to be a great guideline. While I don’t use it for every prayer– sometimes an issue calls for immediate and direct supplication, for instance– I find that using this in daily prayer helps me grow in faith, patience, endurance, and hope. When I come to God in panic or stress, and I haven’t built up a healthy, consistent practice of prayer, my words can be anemic– lacking in faith and based on my fear or anger. I pray with my focus on problems, rather than on God’s power to overcome any circumstance. Using ACTS helps me remember that it is GOD who “acts,” and always for the best!

The second acronym I have used is PRAY. It is very similar to ACTS, but the end focus is slightly different:

  • Praise/Adoration– once again, it begins with praising the God who is worthy; the God who hears me, sees me, loves me, and knows what is best. I cannot live victoriously without remembering the source of hope and victory, and putting my heart in HIS hands.
  • Repentance– as with Confession above, this is not an act of groveling and rehearsing past shame. It is acknowledging anything that I might be holding on to that gets in the way of my worship of and submission to God’. E.M. Blaiklock, the Christian apologist from New Zealand once said: “God alone knows how to humble us without humiliating us and how to exalt us without flattering us.”  Repentance is not about humiliation or holding on to guilt, but rather about staying humble and honest about our need for God’s Grace and Power. And turning from anything that might get in the way of following Jesus Christ.
  • Ask– once we have a right view of who God is, and who we are, we are free to ask Him whatever is on our mind, and share our questions, fears, burdens, etc., with the One who has all the answers!
  • Yield/ “Yes, LORD!”– The final step is making sure we are ready to listen and respond to God as we expect His answer. No matter what God’s answer may be, we should trust and obey His wisdom above our own.

I have come to value PRAY as a wonderful tool to help in my pursuit of prayer, and in my broader pursuit of Christlikeness. Both ACTS and PRAY help me pray “better.” It’s not that God grades my prayers or listens more or responds differently: but it helps me to better appreciate the power of prayer, and the power behind prayer. Individual prayers can change circumstances, but the pursuit of prayer is meant to change US as well. Prayer that shapes us, helps us grow– if that isn’t at least part of our pursuit of prayer, we are missing out on what God wants to do through us, and not just for us.

It is important, just as with nutrition, that we have a healthy balance in our prayer life. That balance consists of worship, repentance, sharing our burdens, showing gratitude, and offering ourselves in humble service. Prayer is too important to just “wing it.” We need to pursue it with the same (or better!) dedication that we give to our physical health.

I’m a Believer!

When I was much younger, I was a huge fan of the Monkees. I loved their TV show, and their songs. One of my favorites was called “I’m a Believer!” It’s a catchy tune about instant infatuation– “Then I saw her face; now I’m a believer!”

YouTube video of “I’m a Believer!” (Written by Neil Diamond; performed by The Monkees)

Years after it was a hit song on the radio, it was used in the soundtrack of the movie “Shrek!”, where it found another generation of listeners. The tune is over fifty years old now, but I still think the tune is catchy, and I love to sing along when I get the chance. However, when I hear the phrase “I’m a Believer!” it means something immeasurably more than just a great pop hit..

It can be very easy to fall into the thinking behind this song. We all are looking for something positive to believe in– Love, music, friendship, success, religion. We all want to be believers in “something” beyond the mundane and the present. And we want a belief that will uplift us, sustain us, and make us want to sing along.

But singing about belief and having a real, sustaining Faith are not the same. The singer of the song claims that he wouldn’t leave– couldn’t leave– the object of his affection. Yet most infatuations are temporary. This love hasn’t matured and been tested by hardship and trials. We can feel good about new “love” in the moment, but we can also be disappointed and betrayed by it. Believing in romance and happily-ever-after can make us feel like singing, but the feeling cannot sustain us through grief and pain. Songs and movies may have a sappy, happy ending, but real life is a struggle.

Faith– real faith in a real and Loving God–is different. We may still be inspired to sing and worship, but we will also be inspired to serve and persevere in good times and bad. It brings strength and lasting peace. And it doesn’t depend on seeing God’s face– it is knowing that He is present, even in the darkest moments; knowing that our lives are in His hands, in spite of our circumstances or surroundings. True faith doesn’t even depend on the strength of our will to believe. It will survive momentary doubts and struggles, until there is “no doubt in my mind” that can triumph! And we can rest assured that God will keep HIS promise never to leave us. That’s what brings me hope and joy when I say, “I’m a Believer!”

It’s fun to sing along with The Monkees, or dance along with the characters in Shrek, but genuine Faith sounds more like this:

How Firm a Foundation

  1. How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
    Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
    What more can He say than to you He hath said—
    To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
  2. “Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
    For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
    I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
    Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
  3. “When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
    The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
    For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
    And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
  4. “When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
    My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
    The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
    Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
  5. “The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
    I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
    That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
    I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”
fire fighter wearing black and yellow uniform pointing for something

“How can you believe in a God who lets bad things happen?”
We live in perilous times; dangerous times.  Fires have swept through Canada and Hawaii (and elsewhere); massive heat waves have caused drought and death in many parts of the world; hurricanes have hit California and and the Caribbean, and another threatens Florida even as I write this. Wars rage in Ukraine and elsewhere; crime seems rampant in major cities on every continent. Diseases– even those we considered eradicated or “tamed” are making a comeback. Waste and pollution devastate our oceans, rivers, woodlands, and even the air we breathe. Often, it seems as if God is absent or powerless–sitting on the sidelines and letting bad things happen.  Those of us who claim faith in an omnipotent, loving, and gracious God are mocked and challenged.  How can we believe in the face of such evil, disaster, and injustice?  How can we offer the empty comfort of prayers and assurances?

It can be very difficult to face such challenges– there are no easy answers and “mic-drop” moments for us in this world.  But that doesn’t mean that there are no answers or that our faith is “blind” or without merit.

The Bible is filled with examples of people who followed God in extraordinary circumstances, often in the face of great evil and with little logical expectation of God’s blessing or help.  Abraham traded a wealthy, safe, and honorable life in his native land to live as a stranger and a nomad among foreigners.  Even after God seemed to fulfill the promise of a son, he tested Abraham’s faith, asking him to sacrifice his only son Read the complete story here...  Many people see this story as a horrific example of injustice and cruelty– and if Abraham had been required to go through with the sacrifice, it might seem even more unjust and cruel.  However, there are two points to consider:

  1. God clearly planned to rescue Isaac–there was a ram in the thicket all ready and waiting.  Abraham may not have known God’s purpose in asking such a thing, but he had faith that “God will provide for himself the lamb…”  God may have been “testing” Abraham, but he already knew the outcome.  The “test” was not for God–perhaps not even for Abraham–the test was for Isaac and all who would follow and experience the blessings that came through this amazing act of faith.
  2. The story of Abraham, like so many others, is given to illustrate difficult truths– sometimes about God’s character, or OUR character, or the nature and consequences of Sin.  These stories also often form patterns of allegory, foreshadowing, or illustrations of key principles and events.  Abraham was told to sacrifice his only and very beloved son– a horrible prospect for any father.  But God provided a substitute sacrifice– a lamb– allowing Isaac to live and become the father of many nations.  God’s plan for the salvation of the world was built on the same pattern.  God sent his only and very beloved “son” to be the substitutionary sacrifice for the sins of all mankind– a horrible prospect for a loving Heavenly Father.  And this time, the son willingly gave His life to become the fulfillment of the promise acted out in Abraham’s story.
shallow focus photography of sheep

And, of course, there are hundreds of other stories– throughout the Bible, and throughout history– that demonstrate the blessings that come through radical and even tiny acts of faith in God.

Hebrews, chapter 11 lists several examples.  And a key verse in the chapter points out:

13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.

Hebrews 11:13 (KJV)

These great examples of faith died without seeing the end results..but the end results are there for US to see!  Faith in humanity– faith in Science– faith in ourselves– these are doomed to end in disappointment.  Not because we don’t believe enough; not because these things are “bad”– but because faith needs an unshakeable, immovable, solid, and eternal foundation.  Our faith in Christ is not a blind faith, an empty faith, or a desperate faith– it is a Faith that is firmly rooted in history, in observable facts, and in revealed truth.  And even in the fiercest storms, the worst of disasters, and the overwhelming flood of hatred and evil in the world, our faith stands firm and sure– not because it is “our faith”, but because it is built on Him who is before and above all things–yesterday, today, and forevermore.

man holding sheep statuette

Our very firm foundation may seem invisible to the world, but that doesn’t change its reality or its power. We pray to the ONE who calms storms, who tears down and builds up kingdoms, and who holds all of eternity, including our future, in His hands. Fires, floods, trials, and terrors cannot overwhelm those who put their trust in Jesus. We may still get wet, singed, singled out, persecuted, and knocked down, but we will never be abandoned or defeated, or forsaken. Even if it seems like God is holding a knife to our neck– remember how the story ends! There is a lamb who has taken our place. God will not put an end to our hope. Even death cannot separate us from His Love and His Purpose for eternity. It’s all there– in His Excellent Word!

Jesus Rocks!

We’ve been cleaning out my Mom’s house for sale, and we came across a couple of shoeboxes of old rocks. I’m not sure which of us kids gathered them up, or when, but at some point, one of us excitedly gathered and saved some “pretty” rocks, thinking they might contain gold or crystals or some other special treasure. And Mom saved them.

I still like rocks– gemstones, geodes, fossils, etc. I like interesting and unusual rocks. My husband and I have several boxes of “pretty” rocks around the house. Some of them we polish and tumble to bring out more of their inner beauty; others we leave in their natural state.

When I was in college and early in my teaching career, it was common for young people to say that something “really rocks!” if they were impressed or excited. Of course, this phrase wasn’t referring to rocks and stones, but to rock and roll music, but the phrase has stuck with me. There is very little about most rocks that would cause me to say that they “Rock!” But that is my point. Jesus thinks a lot about rocks– even ordinary ones.

I was reminded today about some of what Jesus said about rocks and stones:

 When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:
 “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!”
“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”|
Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”
 “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”
 As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes.  The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side.  They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.”

Luke 19:37-44 NIV (emphasis added)

And do not presume to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father,’ for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children for Abraham.

Matthew 3:9 ESV

But all those who come and listen and obey me are like a man who builds a house on a strong foundation laid upon the underlying rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against the house, it stands firm, for it is strongly built.

Luke 6:47-48 The Living Bible (emphasis added)

We spend most of our lives surrounded by rocks, but we rarely take notice. Rocks are generally ugly, hard, and inconvenient. We stumble over them (see many other scripture references!), pile them up, remove them from our gardens and fields, and throw them or kick them out of our way. But Jesus sees rocks just as He does all of His creation. Rocks serve as an enduring foundation for buildings– making them a visual reminder of God’s enduring strength and faithfulness. And did you know that rocks may literally “cry out” in testimony of God’s power?! https://www.templeton.org/news/can-the-rocks-cry-out https://www.icr.org/article/stones-cry-out-what-rocks-fossils-say/

Photo by Ihsan Adityawarman on Pexels.com

As I was thinking of rocks and stones– how common and ordinary they seem– I was also reminded that Jesus relished in using the ubiquitous and ordinary things around us to teach lessons. Seeds, rocks, sheep, trees– all were used in Jesus’ parables to give us practical ways of understanding God’s mysterious nature. And the same is true today. I often learn more about God by interacting with ordinary people and performing humble tasks than I sometimes do at “religious” retreats or doing “holy” work.

There are days when I don’t feel very “successful” in sharing the Gospel message or helping shape disciples for Christ; when I feel like I’m writing to an invisible audience of one or two people, and saying the same things over again. And yet, God called Peter a “Rock” upon which He would build His church– Peter the fisherman; Peter the one who denied Christ three times during His moment of greatest crisis; Peter who had no formal training in theology. And this same Peter calls us “living stones” building up the Church. I am not called on to be sparking like a gem, but I am called on to be like a stone– resting on Jesus the Cornerstone (see 1 Peter 2 :4-8). So God calls me to continue to write, even as I go about my other daily work.

Photo by Michael Judkins on Pexels.com

And God can use the “rocks” in our lives– the things we stumble over, the things that seem hard and even useless–to do amazing things. That neighbor who seems stubborn and resistant…that problem that just doesn’t seem to go away… that nagging pain…those voices telling us that we are not enough. God can turn them into “children of Abraham.” God can use them to build us up. God can change hearts of stone into hearts of flesh, overflowing with compassion (see Ezekiel 36:26) God can cause even the rocks to cry out in praise!

And in all that I do, I too want to “cry out”– both in prayer TO God and in testimony ABOUT God. And my testimony is that Jesus ROCKS!

A Prayer For Fathers

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We are approaching Father’s Day. It is a day of celebration for many people, but it can also be a day of sadness for others. This year will be a milestone for our family, as my father passed away 25 years ago; and yet–we are preparing to celebrate the birth of my grand-nephew’s first child. This will make him a father, my nephew will become a grandfather, and my brother will become a great-grandfather! My husband is a father and grandfather, and so are three of his brothers. We also have brothers, brothers-in-law, nephews and cousins who are great dads. So we really have a lot to celebrate!

Fatherhood– the kind we celebrate– is more than just contributing genetic material to a new life, or claiming a child on an income tax statement, or showing up once in awhile for major events. Fatherhood involves sacrifice. It requires wisdom and patience. It involves ongoing commitments, and the tough love that says, “No” because it’s the right thing, rather than the easy thing to say. Fatherhood requires a man to be a teacher, provider, protector, defender, coach, and disciplinarian. It also requires humility, and grace, encouragement and sometimes tears. In addition, fatherhood requires prayer. No father is perfect, and no father can do all that he needs to in his own power. Fathers need our support and encouragement, our grace, and our prayers.

Photo by Kaysha on Pexels.com

It is tempting to label our fathers. I have known “good” fathers. And I have known fathers who have abandoned or even abused their responsibilities, causing trauma, anguish, and hurt to their families, lasting for generations. My own father wasn’t perfect, but he was a “good” father. He was a man of humor and integrity, faithful, honest, loving and humble; a man of faith, and a man of honor. My father-in-law was the same. They left wonderful legacies of wisdom, hard work, and quiet strength. But I know of other fathers who have ruined the lives of their children (as well as their own lives) through fear, selfishness, addictions, abuse, anger, greed, and pride. Father’s Day can cause regret, envy, and bitterness in the hearts of many fathers and children alike. Many people would like to forget about their fathers on Father’s Day. Some don’t even know how to celebrate– they’ve never seen or heard from their father; some don’t even know his name!

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

But Father’s Day is not only for “good” fathers. It is a time to honor those who have been faithful, but it is also a time to reach out to those who need help. Good fathers are needed! And “bad” fathers need to be called out– not indulged or ignored, but held, guided, rehabilitated, or even incarcerated, for the good of their children. Hurting boys often grow up to be hurtful fathers. Hurting girls often end up in hurtful relationships. Hurtful fathers often struggle with their own baggage of hurt and disappointment from past generations, without knowing how to change. Fathers need more than a “day”, a cook-out, or another tie. They need a mission and a purpose; they need respect and forgiveness; they need encouragement and accountability.

My prayer today is that this Father’s Day can be a day of honor AND of healing for fathers and their children. I pray that struggling fathers will be encouraged and strengthened; that hard-working, faithful fathers will see the rewards of their efforts and find hope to keep going; that absent and apathetic fathers will wake up to the challenge and the gift of fatherhood; that broken fathers will find help and healing for themselves AND for their families; that hurting sons and daughters will find the grace to move beyond the pain of unmet expectations and abuse to become better men and women.

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

All that I pray for is made possible because we have a Heavenly Father– a perfect, loving, eternally wise Father– who loves us through our struggles and our pain. He knows our every need, sees our every tear, and hears our every prayer. He is ready to be our coach, our provider, our healer, our disciplinarian, and our protector. No matter our experiences or how we feel about our earthly fathers, or about being a father, we can trust Him to be all that we need. Our Heavenly Father will never abandon us, reject us, abuse us, or despise us. He will comfort, encourage, uplift, and guide us– now and forever. All we need to do is pray and accept Him for all that He is!

Two or More

10 If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he’s in trouble.11 Also, on a cold night, two under the same blanket gain warmth from each other, but how can one be warm alone? 12 And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:10-12

At least once each month this year, I want to write about practical ways to develop our Pursuit of Prayer. Today, I want to focus on seeking out a partner or prayer group.

There are many benefits of adding corporate or communal prayer to our lives. Most of our prayers will take place between just ourselves and God. We may pray during our quiet time, early in the morning, or just before bedtime. Our prayers may be short or long; full of joy or sorrow; silent or even mumbled. But when we pray with at least one other person, the following should happen:

  • We should be more focused. It may sound shallow or presumptuous, but praying aloud in front of a “human” audience has a tendency to keep us focused on the words we use and the thoughts we are sharing. And, while we can fall victim to the temptation to show off our eloquence, or say what we think others want to hear, we can also be sharpened by the reality that God AND others are listening! Have you ever “caught” yourself praying without really “hearing” your own thoughts? Sometimes, prayers can become rote or stale. We can pray on “automatic pilot”– repeating requests or phrases without really meaning them. Praying aloud in front of others won’t necessarily stop that from happening, but it should make us more focused.
  • We should learn from the prayers of others. Listening to others pray gives us insight into THEIR thoughts and hearts. It can also give us insight into how others communicate with the Father. Sometimes others have knowledge of issues and requests of which I am unaware or unburdened. Sometimes, they have a different way of relating to the Father– not “better,” but different in perspective or experience. I have been startled, convicted, encouraged, and emboldened by listening to the prayers of my brothers and sisters in Christ. And there is a “flip-side” to this, namely
  • We should allow others to learn from our prayers. I know many people who feel their prayers are somehow “inferior.” They use simple words, or their words don’t flow smoothly. They are ashamed to pray in public. And yet, thousands have been inspired and humbled by so-called “simple” prayers. They teach faith and humility; trust and caring; and even courage and strength. If everyone’s prayers were the same, or if everyone’s prayers were about their own abilities or eloquence, they would lose much of their power– because prayer is not about US; it is about God working THROUGH us.
  • We can agree in prayer. As one of us prays aloud, the other(s) can pray along silently in agreement. This may seem like a simple truth, or a trivial point, but it is not. Prayer, like the rest of our life, is meant to be done in communion with others–we are not meant to be solitary and self-sufficient. There is exponential power in communal prayer, as we come together in agreement on various issues. It is one of the reasons that so many revival experiences begin with a small group of people who pray fervently. This isn’t just a metaphysical phenomenon. Hearing others pray about the things weighing on my heart encourages me to keep praying when I am alone again. Hearing others pray with the same heart encourages my faith and resolve. Hearing others agree in prayer may even plant a seed that wasn’t there before. Conversely, hearing others pray may cause me to reevaluate my own thinking, or help us better hear faulty thinking and disagreement over certain issues, causing us to seek resolution and truth over long-held but unquestioned beliefs. Praying aloud can help bring us closer toward unity!

  • Our prayers become more powerful. “Where two or three are gathered…” Matthew 18:20 says that where two or three are gathered together in my (Jesus’) name, he will there in the midst of them. This verse is often taken out of context. It does NOT mean that Jesus will ONLY be with groups of two or more. Jesus promises never to leave or forsake ANYONE who puts their trust in Him. Others have taken this promise (along with its preceding verse) to mean that where two or three people pray together, Jesus is obligated to give them whatever they ask for. This is also misleading. Jesus is with us, not to give us a particular outcome or answer, but to guide us into truth and faith. It means that Jesus is with each person, AND with everyone who gathers together in HIS name. His presence is magnified; His power is magnified (if such a thing is possible…) Just as in the passage in Ecclesiastes, the power of a united group– even a small group of two or three PLUS JESUS– cannot be over-emphasized. Remember the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? Satan does not worry when Christians gather together to protest or complain. It warms his heart to see a small group of Christians come together to gossip, boast, or argue. But he shudders when Christians meet together in Faith to pray! It is much more difficult for him to distract, distort, and discourage us when we pray together–for each other, with each other, beside each other!
  • We become more accountable. This happens best when we meet regularly for prayer with another/others. It doesn’t have to be daily or even weekly, but when we meet consistently, we challenge one another to be faithful, active, and accountable in our prayers and in our living. I pray more often alone when I pray more often with a friend or group! I pray with more focus and purpose. I pray more intentionally.

If you don’t have a regular prayer partner or prayer group, I encourage you to seek out a friend or a group of people who will meet regularly. Even if it is not a “Prayer” group– it may be a Bible Study group, a group of friends meeting for lunch once a month, or a neighbor who carpools or commutes with you. Make prayer part of your friendship or group on a regular basis.

Lord, I’m Tired

This past month has been tiring for me. I’ve been clearing out two “estates.” My mother died at the end of last month. She was a hoarder– she saved everything, and it was kept in piles and drawers and closets. My brother, sister, and I (and our families) must sort through all the “junk” to find things of importance or value, and decide how to share it, dispose of it, or give it away. Old books, old clothes, old papers– some have sentimental or material value. Others have been exposed to mildew or they’ve been torn or damaged or stained. Mom had a big house, and she had lived there for over 60 years, so the piles are tall, deep, and everywhere!

At the same time, we had a loss in my husband’s family that required that we clean out the family homestead. This home had been in the family for over 5 generations, and included a farm and workshop, complete with machinery, vehicles, and furniture that had to be removed in less than 30 days! While not as cluttered with old papers and clothes, this estate included bigger, bulkier items, often covered with grit, grime, oil, and dirt.

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We had to finish up with the old homestead earlier this week. And we are exhausted. I have found it difficult to concentrate on this blog, on Bible study, on personal prayer time, and just getting “normal” things done around the house. I’m sore, I’m trying to fight off an early Spring cold, and I’m mentally and emotionally drained.

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BUT

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God has sent wonderful reminders of His comfort, His strength, His peace, and His care in the past few weeks. My prayers may have been hurried or shortened lately, but I can FEEL the prayers of others on our behalf. As tired as we have been lately, we have also been blessed. Wonderful family (even under difficult and trying circumstances!), kind and helpful friends, unexpected (and much needed) resources–God has not left us to face this season alone.

It is not God’s will or His plan that we should exhaust ourselves. That doesn’t mean that He won’t allow us to travel through periods of stress, work, grief, pain, or even temporary exhaustion. Jesus himself stayed in the wilderness for 40 days without food. He was exhausted and hungry when Satan tried to tempt Him to turn His back on the Father. Satan’s temptations are no different today. He tempts us with empty promises of ease and rest– IF we depend on someone or something other than God! He tempts us with the idea of fame and fortune– IF we abandon God’s provision and His purposes. He tempts us with immediate solutions–IF we stop waiting on the Lord to come to our rescue.

The Test

1-3 Next Jesus was taken into the wild by the Spirit for the Test. The Devil was ready to give it. Jesus prepared for the Test by fasting forty days and forty nights. That left him, of course, in a state of extreme hunger, which the Devil took advantage of in the first test: “Since you are God’s Son, speak the word that will turn these stones into loaves of bread.”

Jesus answered by quoting Deuteronomy: “It takes more than bread to stay alive. It takes a steady stream of words from God’s mouth.”

5-6 For the second test the Devil took him to the Holy City. He sat him on top of the Temple and said, “Since you are God’s Son, jump.” The Devil goaded him by quoting Psalm 91: “He has placed you in the care of angels. They will catch you so that you won’t so much as stub your toe on a stone.”

Jesus countered with another citation from Deuteronomy: “Don’t you dare test the Lord your God.”

8-9 For the third test, the Devil took him to the peak of a huge mountain. He gestured expansively, pointing out all the earth’s kingdoms, how glorious they all were. Then he said, “They’re yours—lock, stock, and barrel. Just go down on your knees and worship me, and they’re yours.”

10 Jesus’ refusal was curt: “Beat it, Satan!” He backed his rebuke with a third quotation from Deuteronomy: “Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness.”

11 The Test was over. The Devil left. And in his place, angels! Angels came and took care of Jesus’ needs.

Matthew 4:1-11 (The Message)

I’m tired today. But God knows better than I do how to give me rest, how to “recharge my batteries,” and how to guide me through the days ahead. I don’t think God is “testing” me in the same way He allowed Jesus to be tested. But I think He has allowed me to experience a season that is testing me. Will I keep looking for Jesus in my weariness and grief? Will I be tempted to find my rest in someone or something other than Him? Will I recognize the resources and help He sends during this time? One of the things He has provided is this blog– a chance for me to stop, reflect on, and write about what’s going on. I’m tired, but I’m also being held in God’s Almighty and capable hands. God has provided helpers, counselors, friends, and family to lean on, and who can lean on me in turn. God has laid out His promises for a bright future and eternal Joy, Peace, and Rest. God has given me a moment to reflect on His Goodness! Now, back to work for today!

AMEN!

When I Can’t Do “All Things…”

10-14 I’m glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you’re again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don’t mean that your help didn’t mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

Philippians 4:10-14 (The Message)

I know many Christians who quote Philippians 4:13–generally in the King James or New King James versions: “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens (strengtheneth) me.” It is a powerful verse, but taken out of context, it can become twisted and lead to unrealistic expectations. In context, Paul is not talking about achievement, but about endurance. “I can endure all things…” or “I can cope with all circumstances…” is a better understanding, which is why I chose to quote from The Message, instead of another translation. Many times, however, we co-opt this familiar verse to fill our calendar with busy plans for our own achievements, trusting in God to give us the strength to multi-task our way past exhaustion. We end up frustrated, disappointed, and even questioning our faith.

God never meant for any of us to do “all things..” In fact, He wants us to trust Him to direct our paths– even when He directs us away from achievement and into rest or even need. Paul was a doer. He loved to be on the road, preaching and teaching, building up churches, and making new converts. But the letter to the Philippian believers was written from a jail cell. Paul could not be there to minister to them, but they had ministered to him, instead! Paul was thanking his friends for the help they gave him, not because he was abandoned or starving, but because their gifts reminded him of their care for him, and of God’s care for all of us. God had given Paul a season of rest from the road– imposed rest, but rest that gave him time to reflect on God’s goodness in solitude.

When we set ourselves up to “do all things,” it usually means “all the things I think I can or ought to do,” or “all the things I am asked or expected to do as a volunteer or a friend or neighbor or parent…” God is more concerned with our “being” than our “doing.” He wants us to be seeking after righteousness, not self-righteousness. He wants us to be growing in our love for others– even if we can’t “do it all.” He wants us to follow Him, not impress Him!

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I’m in a season of “can’t” right now. It’s not that I can’t do anything, but I can’t do “all things.” That’s not a result of my lacking faith or having a wrong view of God– God CAN do anything and “everything.” But I can’t. And God’s plan isn’t to empower me to be autonomous, self-sustaining, or self-righteous. I NEED others! And I NEED Him! What I CAN do, is trust in His timing and His resources to be sufficient for my daily needs. I can get “enough” done today, with God’s wisdom and strength. I can do “enough” to overcome anxiety or depression– with the help that God provides. That may mean allowing someone else to do simple tasks that I can’t do today. It may mean accepting medical help. It may mean changing my schedule or my expectations for today. But I can endure all the setbacks, and the moments of grief or weakness that keep me from “doing” what I had planned. I can weather it all in the power of Christ. And so can you! If you are finding yourself in a season of “can’t,” don’t skim over Philippians 4– study it. Claim it! Christ’s power isn’t for those who “can.” It’s for those who ask!

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It’s a great thing to have a “can-do” attitude. But sometimes, we need a season of “can’t do” in order to step back and see what we “can BE” in the power of Christ!

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