What to Throw Away…

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also

Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)

When my mom died earlier this year, she left a house filled with “stuff.” Mom saved EVERYTHING! She saved old calendars, expired drivers’ licenses, used peanut butter jars, all her children’s baby clothes and shoes, graduation and wedding invitations, Christmas Cards, broken cameras, and so much more. She owned a seven-bedroom farmhouse, but she lived for many years in just a few square feet in four different rooms. She slept on half a twin mattress; the other half was covered with boxes. She ate on just a patch of her kitchen table; the rest was piled over with papers and “stuff.” There was a narrow path through the dining room to the bathroom and bedroom. Mom was a hoarder.

Mom was also stubbornly independent, and refused to get rid of things or have others help her throw things away. It contributed to her falling and breaking her hip, and later falling and breaking her leg. We eventually persuaded her to move to assisted living and later to a small house that she could navigate safely. But she would not sell the old house or let us throw away her “treasures.”

Shortly before she died, Mom gave us permission to begin the difficult task of “going through” her house. She joked that we would all hate her after she died and we had to finish the task. We joked back that we would never be able to finish in our own lifetimes! Mom knew that she should have thrown things away. But she had chosen to live surrounded by the memories of broken toys and yellowed letters of yesterday.

Well, the house is almost empty. We decided to sell it, and had to clean it out so it could be shown. The bulk of the work fell to my brother and his wife. They are retired, and they live closest to the old house. But even so, it has taken months, and tons of sweat, to find the floors and walls and windows that were covered and blocked by “stuff.” There are still a few pieces of furniture and some items in the basement, but hundreds of boxes, bags, crates, and containers had to be taken to my brother’s house, my house, my sister’s house, donation centers, recycling centers, and, sadly, to the dump.

We had very few “things” left from my father. His family had lived through a house fire when he was a young man, and he learned early that even precious things cannot be saved. He tried to throw things out; Mom would “rescue” some from the trash and bring them back in! He saved a few momentos, mostly photos, and when he died, he was no longer there to advise Mom about what must be put in the trash. But even his “stuff” was hidden among worthless old shoes and dishes and old boxes.

My Mom DID have several treasures– at least to us. She had saved school papers from our childhood, birth and baptism certificates, photos, my dad’s old work uniform, my grandfather’s Navy cap, afghans and doilies my grandmother made, and several worn and tattered Bibles she had so faithfully studied over the years. And Mom was generous in her own way– she sent out thousands of greeting cards and gave wonderful and thoughtful gifts to her many friends and family members. But she kept broken things, rusty and dusty things, used-up things, and things that were useless. And the hardest part of sorting through over 20,000 square feet of “stuff” was finding and determining what to keep and what to throw away.

Life is a lot like that house full of “stuff. It is full of memories, experiences, hopes, dreams, guilt, fears, relationships, emotions, and disappointments. And we have to make choices about what to treasure and what to throw away. Here are some guidelines I’ve learned through my recent experience:

  • Treasure the lesson– throw away the bitterness.
  • Keep the memories– throw away the t-shirt.
  • Save the relationship– throw away the anger.
  • Keep the recipe– throw away the container/magazine it came with.
  • Eat the chocolate–but throw away the fancy box it came in.
  • Throw away the broken dishes, the worn towels, and the pot without a handle.
  • Treasure the stories– trash the dusty, musty books (Yes, that’s coming from a librarian!)
  • Don’t just worth on appearance alone–DON’T throw away an opportunity to show kindness where it is least expected and most needed. There may be treasure among the rubbish!
  • Use the stationery you got for Christmas–throw away the wrapping paper.
  • Throw away last year’s calendar– those days are gone. Make space for this year.
  • Keep your promises–let go of your disappointments.
  • Hold your dreams loosely– be ready to accept what IS as a gift; what WILL BE as a mystery.
  • Treasure the empty spaces in your house and in your life– throw away the extra baggage.
  • Keep space for new blessings–pass the old blessings on to others.
  • Things can never take the place of time spent with the people you love. I appreciate some of the things Mom left behind, but the real treasure was the wisdom she imparted, the laughter and tears we shared over the years, and the faith she lived out as she loved others.

Mom’s joke about us hating her after she was gone– that didn’t happen. And our joking prediction was wrong, too. It was frustrating to go through everything; it was hard work and it might not have been necessary if Mom had chosen differently. But it wasn’t wasted work. We still have dozens of boxes to sort through, but I am finding small miracles and memories (and lessons!) in each one. Mom may not have been able to judge what she should throw away, but she did know what to keep above all!

I hope I am learning what to throw away, as well as what to give away and what to keep. Mostly, I hope I am learning to let go of the things that might prevent me from accepting better things. God will not always take away the things that hold us back, or bury us in the past. But He asks us to store up our treasure, not in a house or a storage barn, or a safe deposit box, but with Him! Things will break, rust, rot, and be lost. Feelings and thoughts can keep us trapped in the past, and blind to the present and future. But God’s gifts– Faith, Hope, Love, Peace, Patience, Discipline, Forgiveness–these last forever, and never lose their value!

Hidden Among the “Baggage”

I am always drawn by the stories in the Bible. Stories of ordinary and extraordinary people used by God– sometimes in spite of themselves–to rescue others, to teach others, to serve as examples, and to show how God wants to interact (or discipline) those He loves.

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One such person was a man named Saul, son of Kish. Of all the young men of Israel, God chose Saul to be their first king. This was a mixed blessing for the nation. In asking for a human king, they were saying that the did not want to be “ruled” by God or His prophets. God warned Israel through the prophet Samuel that they might come to regret having a human king. They were rejecting the pattern established by God under Moses, and asking for a system of leadership that matched the surrounding nations. This would make it easier to make treaties, do business, and interact with neighboring countries, but it would also bring some of the same problems (succession, power struggles, greed, etc.) that plagued all the other monarchies and empires around them. The choice of Saul reveals not only God’s character, but the character of Israel. God chose a man from one of the least of the families of the least of the tribes of Israel. Saul’s father, Kish, was a man of some power and wealth, but his family line was one of younger sons of younger sons. God often chooses the “least” among us to lead. He is not a respecter of rank or birth, wealth or experience. However, God also chose Saul as a man who “looked” the part. Saul was “head and shoulders” taller than others. He was good-looking and well-educated. Wasn’t this exactly was Israel wanted in a king?

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On the day Samuel called a great assembly to publicly anoint the new king, lots were cast to show God’s choice. Among the 12 tribes of Israel, the tribe of Benjamin was chosen– the youngest of the sons of Jacob, and the smallest of the tribes. A lesser family among the tribe was then selected. Finally, the choice was narrowed down to Saul, son of Kish. But Saul could not be found! A search ensued, and he was eventually found– hiding among the baggage! The tallest man in the kingdom– the one who already had been confirmed as God’s choice– tried to hide from his own coronation! And it was God who revealed Saul’s hiding place and forced him to face his exaltation!

The ongoing story of Saul’s reign as king is filled with both triumph and tragedy. Time and again, Saul tries to “hide” behind excuses. He fails to obey God’s command, but blames his weakness on others. God takes away His favor, and His spirit leaves Saul, who descends into paranoia, anger, and madness.

But today, I want to look at the idea that Saul thought he could hide “among the baggage.” (1 Samuel 10:22) Other translations say he was “among the stuff” or “among the supplies.” Saul did not run away from the assembly altogether; he did not reject his role. Yet he tried to hide from the gravity and responsibility of kingship. In many ways, this shows good qualities of humility and an understanding of his own limitations. Saul’s problem wasn’t that he thought he was “born to be king.” Saul wasn’t born to be king– it was an honor thrust upon him. Saul’s problem was that he wasn’t prepared to let God rule through him. Saul would be the titular King of Israel. But who would be the King over Saul’s own life and heart? Saul, like the nation he ruled, ended up rejecting God’s rule. He tried to follow the letter of the law, and the traditions of his people, but he did not always choose to follow the God who had created them, nor did he humble himself to accept God’s correction.

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We may not be chosen for a position of leadership. But what responsibilities are we hiding from today? Are we surrounding ourselves with baggage? Do we hide in the busyness of our hobbies or our job? Do we cover ourselves with “obligations” that leave us drained to no real purpose? How many hours do we spend hiding in chit-chat, or watching television, or shopping, or daydreaming? How many times are we volunteering to work with strangers in order to avoid spending time with difficult relatives or neighbors? How often do we offer up the sacrifice of generic worship instead of the sacrifice of a teachable spirit?

Saul had many gifts, which he used to strengthen his nation and expand its territory. He had the opportunity to do even more great things for God and for Israel. But he is mostly remembered for his failures– his defiance of Samuel’s orders and excuses about disobedience; his ongoing murderous pursuit of his anointed successor, David; his consultation in the dead of night with the witch of Endor; his ignoble death in battle… We too, have opportunities to do great things with God’s help and in His power. We cannot hide forever among the “stuff” of life. God will reveal our hiding places– to others, even if we don’t acknowledge them!

Today, I pray that I will come out from behind the baggage of my everyday activities, and be available for God’s good purposes!

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Please see these other links for more commentary:
https://jentezenfranklin.org/daily-devotions/what-are-you-hiding-behind#:~:text=%E2%80%9CHe%20is%20hiding%20among%20the%20baggage.%E2%80%9D%201Sa%2010%3A22,tackling%20the%20job%20God%20appointed%20you%20to%20do.
https://www.thekingdomcollective.com/spurgeon/sermon/3322/

Souvenirs or Baggage?

My Mom died recently, and my brother and sister and I are cleaning out her estate. This is by no means a small task, as my Mother saved EVERYTHING! All of our elementary school report cards, 4-H Awards programs, class play programs, thousands of photos (mostly unidentified), post cards from all of our vacations (including places we re-visited!), ticket stubs from movies and football games and banquets, our old baby shoes, broken toys, recipes clipped from magazines and old boxes, letters we sent from college, and letters sent to her when she was in high school. She even saved such things that her own mother and grandmother had saved! Souvenirs and memories, all tucked away or piled up throughout her house.

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My mom was what is known as a “hoarder.” She was pathological in her collecting bits and pieces of everything that went on all around her. She had clothing she had never worn. She had Christmas gifts she had opened and put back in their wrapping, but never enjoyed. She had books she had never read, DVDs she had never watched, and pots and pans she had never used. She had stacks and bags and boxes of memories she always meant to sort through– someday.

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As she grew older, she sometimes would lament that we, as her children, would be burdened with the job of sorting through all her “stuff.” Even so, she wouldn’t let us touch any of it until the last months of her life, when it was obvious that she would never be able to do it herself. And we weren’t to throw anything out– only make an attempt to organize it all!

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Of course, now we are throwing out the majority of what she kept. Much of it was damaged by being stacked and stored in the haphazard way it was. Some was damaged by a leaky roof, or mice. Many of the things that are damaged were once useful, and might have been useful yet if they had not been hoarded and held back. Blankets and towels that might have been passed on were left to be chewed up or rotted. Books and photos are warped or stained.

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I loved Mom, and she was a great woman of God– a prayer warrior and evangelist. But she was human. In this part of her life, she missed some great opportunities to bless others with the resources she had. She even missed the opportunity to enjoy many of the things she obsessively stored for “someday.” Moreover, she saved many things that weren’t useful. Old boxes and jars of spoiled food, old bills and advertisements, expired credit cards and driver’s licenses.

I have been reminded of many things as I’ve helped go through Mom’s “things.” There are many wonderful memories that still can be found in all of her souvenirs. I found an old storybook– one of my favorites–about a Mama Bear and her naughty, curious little cub. “Why do you love me?,” the cub asks after getting into trouble yet again. “Because you’re my little bear,” she answers as she cleans the wounds and lovingly carries her cub home. Love transcends mischief. It transcends things like lost opportunities and hoarding tendencies, and the frustrations of life.

But sometimes we hang on to things, not out of love, but out of pain or desperation. Mom was a child of the Great Depression. Her family had to move a lot when she was younger. She was forced to give away toys and clothes she wanted to keep; forced to leave old friends and make new ones; forced to make things “last” when new things couldn’t be had. She spent many years having to be frugal and careful to make small memories last a lifetime. She became obsessed with collecting “souvenirs” of even the smallest events, even tragic ones, and holding on to what was “good enough,” even if something better was offered.

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Many of Mom’s “souvenirs” have become baggage for those of us who follow. And many of our “souvenirs” will be baggage for those who follow us. Some of our scars will be passed down to our children. Some of our hopes and dreams will be unrealized–unopened and unused gifts that “might have been.” Others objects and experiences will be pleasant reminders of the love that lasts beyond our own lives and limitations. But objects, in themselves, cannot take the place of the actual experiences of joy, love, and peace they are meant to represent.

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God wants us to hold fast to certain things. Truth. Hope. Love. Faith. But He calls us to let go of other things. Bitterness, resentment, anger, self-pity. I know that in my final days, I will probably find that I am still carrying some baggage. But I hope that I will find more souvenirs– good memories of a life enjoyed, goals accomplished, and relationships that have stood the test of time. Mom had those in abundance. But some were hidden among the baggage–treasured memories of those who loved her, and those whom she loved, surrounded by the baggage of heartache and longing. I pray that those who follow me won’t have to search among the ruins to find my souvenirs, or hunt through piles of souvenirs to find my treasures.

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