Coming Out of the Closet

For anyone who is reading this expecting a big announcement or a shocking confession– please don’t read too much into the title…this is a blog about a lifestyle of prayer, not about gender identity or sexual orientation. I want to talk about the benefits of communal prayer as opposed to prayer that is deeply personal, and takes place in isolation.

There is a time and place for solitary meditation and prayer, and it should become our habit and practice to meet with God daily. But we are told that we should also meet with and interact with others– and this includes sharing our prayer life. For many years, I was one of the “lone rangers.” I rarely met with others specifically to pray or even share prayer concerns. I would get notices on FB or e-mail, or in the church’s weekly newsletter, but it wasn’t the same. Just as God wants to hear our hearts and share communication and communion with us, he wants us to share closeness with others.

Why isn’t it enough to just go into the closet (or other quiet space) to pray? What are the benefits of praying with a small group? Here are some:

We need social interaction– FACE-TO-FACE interaction. God did not create us to live in isolation. We need to have eye contact, hear inflections and tones of voice from others, and to have others listen to ours. We need to share more than just stories on a screen– we need to share laughter, tears, and common ground. We make deeper friendships when we share concerns (not gossip), struggles, and triumphs (not bragging). And we can share burdens, recipes!, helpful tips, jokes, and more
Meeting with others helps us keep our perspective–when we are alone, our problems become bigger; our joys fade, and our talents waste away. Meeting together helps shrink our worry and pride, ignite our hope, and drive our confidence. It also opens up our world to the experiences and concerns of others and teaches us about differences and commonalities
Our faith is strengthened to hear from others who are “in the same” place in their walk; it encourages us to hear from others who have been “through the fire”; it reminds us to be grateful, and gives us an opportunity to build someone up if we have been in their shoes; and it amazes us to hear again what a mighty God we serve, and how he has been faithful
Communal prayer creates a time to break us out of our routine– whether that routine is zooming or “glooming”– we need to mix things up and get out of our rut
God commands us to meet together, to live in unity, and to lift each other up

Can you think of other benefits? Are you in the habit of praying with others? If not, you may be wondering– how do I find others? What are the ground rules (if any)? Are there issues I should be aware of?

Once again, I can list a few that come to mind or that have arisen from experience:

To find others:

Join an existing group– a Bible study group that includes prayer time; a weekly or monthly prayer meeting group; a special interest group within a local church– Moms of Pre-schoolers, or a Dorcas group, or a volunteer group that includes prayer
Start up a group! Meet weekly, twice a week, monthly– whenever, wherever, and whatever works for you and a few others. If you don’t have a space in your home or don’t want to meet at a church, be creative– meet at a park or a local coffee house, or take turns hosting a prayer meeting with others in your group. Don’t be discouraged if there are only two in your “group”; and don’t feel bad about keeping your group limited– you may find enough interested people to form two or three groups in your neighborhood!
Think outside the box– you may stumble on to a group during your commute to work each day; in your child’s play group; at the gym; at a neighborhood church you have never visited (it doesn’t mean you are being “unfaithful” to your church to reach out to fellow brothers or sisters throughout the week!)

Ground rules:

Groups should have some structure, leadership, and accountability
Participants (including leaders) should be careful not to confuse gossip for “concerns”, or use the group for a sounding board, on-going therapy, or a captive audience for their personal drama or their political or social agenda
Group leaders need to create boundaries, so participants feel free to share real burdens and concerns but take responsibility for others’ privacy and vulnerability
Groups should be open to visitors, new members, and seekers of all backgrounds

Issues to watch for–Any group that is made up of humans can fall victim to unhealthy and unwholesome practices. Just because a group meets with good intentions and calls itself a prayer group doesn’t mean that it is a “safe” place to meet. Keep your eyes and ears open for the following:

Groups that make you feel uncomfortable for showing up, or for sharing (or not sharing every one of) your authentic concerns, your questions, or your feedback. Sometimes, we can feel uncomfortable sharing about ourselves because we feel shame or guilt about our past or about our lack of knowledge or experience; sometimes we’re defensive or hypersensitive because we’re in a new situation. But if you are being made to feel ashamed or isolated or patronized, especially if you are being labeled or discriminated against, get out. LEAVE– shake the dust off of your shoes as you go (One caveat here– there are groups that meet for specific issues (see below)…if the group is meeting to pray as parents of toddlers, and you aren’t a parent or grandparent or aunt or uncle of a toddler– not only will you feel uncomfortable, but so will the rest of the group. You should still leave this group, but you can forego the shoe shaking…)
Groups that have one or two members who dominate and intimidate the other members. Leaders need to provide boundaries and structure, but they should not squash authentic dialogue or force everyone to listen to someone else’s “true confessions” (especially if it’s a repeat of the last meeting!) This is more a “comfort zone” issue than the first one– some groups just have a couple of “talkers” and a couple of “listeners”–the point here is that there needs to be a balance so that all members have a chance to contribute
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Groups that get “taken over” or sidetracked by a single issue– unless that is what you signed up for. If you are a group whose purpose is prayer, it’s not safe to assume that everyone in your group will also want to go on a protest march or volunteer an entire Saturday at the soup kitchen. There’s nothing wrong with other activities, but it shouldn’t be a requirement of your prayer group (see above)
Groups that are only “token” prayer groups–they may “share” what’s going on in their families as “requests” but they don’t actually take time to pray about them in the group setting. They talk and eat, and maybe even say “spiritual” things. There’s nothing wrong with friends getting together, whether they pray or not, but if you’re going to call it a prayer group or a prayer meeting….
That brings me to the group that uses “prayer” as a cover for gossip or grumbling. Prayer should be constructive and God-centered. If it isn’t either, it isn’t really prayer. Even if it sounds positive and holy, if it is centered on how “blessed” you are, or what you know God needs to do in someone else’s life– it isn’t really prayer unless His name is magnified and ours is minimized.
Any group that does not honor God’s word, God’s sovereignty, or God’s goodness–Not every group that prays is praying to Almighty God, in the name of Jesus Christ, or for His will to be accomplished. While prayer groups should be open to all people, and there are wonderful opportunities for ecumenical and all-faith prayer in the public forum, a weekly or monthly prayer group is probably not the best venue. That being said, I recommend exposure to various Christian prayer styles and practices– formal and ritual prayer, spirit-filled worship prayer, gospel-infused crying out, simple “popcorn” utterances, and eloquent prayers that roll off righteous tongues in an engaging crescendo, punctuated with holy hushes.

March 24, 2025 0

Anywhere…

Anywhere! Anywhere!
Fear I cannot know;
Anywhere with Jesus I can safely go!

I was reading in the Psalms the other day, and I fell on one of my favorites, Psalm 139:

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
²You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
³You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
⁵You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
⁶Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.

⁷Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?
⁸If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
⁹If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
¹⁰even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
¹¹If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
¹²even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.
Psalm 139: 1-12 (ESV)

This portion of the Psalm speaks of God’s Omnipresence. But often, when I read it, I read it from a negative viewpoint. It speaks of hiding from the Lord…it is impossible to escape the Lord’s presence and His omnipotence. I cannot hide my thoughts or deeds or feelings from God’s all-seeing, all-knowing presence. And this is a good thing in the end. But what about when I am not trying to escape from God, but some other threat– guilt, pain, heartbreak, or even death?

God’s omnipresence is also a metaphysical reality in a very positive sense. I cannot stray outside of God’s presence. He will not remove it from me; He will not hide from me. He will never send me into ANY situation where He is NOT already there, and where He will NOT be with me.

I know this. But I needed a reminder today. God will be with me on my best days, and on my worst. He will be with me in sickness or depression, or celebration and strength. He will be with me whether I am “alone” or surrounded by strangers. He will be with me in the darkness where I can’t see anything, as well as in the blinding bright lights of an operating room, or the eerie haze of a foggy morning.

Wherever I am, God is figuratively holding my hand; He is hemming me in all around. I am protected and supported by His Almighty Right Hand. When I am tempted to doubt– He is there! When I am distracted by the din of other voices– He is there! When I have turned my back on Him– He is STILL there; waiting for me to turn back!

I don’t know where I will have to go today. It may be to the grocery store; it may be halfway across the world…I may be called to do unexpected things, to go in an unexpected direction, to turn a frightening corner or face an unknown foe. But I can go anywhere with confidence– not in MY wisdom or abilities or strength– God is WITH me. God goes BEFORE me and BEHIND me. God is OVER me and UNDER me, and all AROUND me.

Recently, there was a news story about a submarine with passengers who were going to visit the wreck of the Titanic. Tragically, the submarine failed and their lives were lost. Just like the passengers over 100 years earlier, they were far from any human help. But God was there. I don’t know if any of the passengers were believers, but if they were, they could face their last earthly hours in confidence and peace that passes human understanding– God was there. Even though their bodies were not saved from this tragedy, their spirits were never out of God’s reach; their hearts were never lost to God’s loving gaze.

May we rest in that assurance today. There is no place on Earth– or in or over or under the Earth!– where God does not watch over us. The going may not be pleasant. It may be dangerous or even deadly. But we– our soul; our spirit– can go anywhere without fear. We can face the transition from life to death with calm assurance. We can face the empty threats of Death and the Grave without flinching. We can face our fears, and defeat them, when we trust that God’s presence in constant and completely sufficient.

October 16, 2024 0

Our Advocate

I write often about praying for others. I sometime write about others praying. But I don’t often write about Jesus praying– except during His ministry on Earth. But Jesus continues to pray–without ceasing– for us in Heaven. (See Hebrews 7:25 and Romans 8:24). The Bible tells us that Christ is seated at the right hand of the Father and making intercession for us. Not only is He praying; He is praying FOR US.

Jesus didn’t just die to keep us out of Heaven and then move on and leave us to struggle on our own. Nor did He send the Holy Spirit to live with us so that He could sit down and do nothing. Jesus is still passionately advocating on your behalf– every minute!

And that is a great comfort in a world where we sometimes feel abandoned and friendless. Even if the whole world is lined up to do me great harm, Jesus is on my side. If you have trusted Him with your life, He is faithful to advocate for you– for your growth as a Christian; for your protection from the schemes of the Enemy; for abundant and productive LIFE for you, both now and through Eternity.

If you have not trusted Jesus as your LORD and Savior, He is still advocating– for another opportunity, for more time, for circumstances (good or bad) to help you seek (and FIND!) Him. For those who have not heard the Gospel, He is pleading with the Father (and sending the Spirit to urge believers) to open their eyes, ears, and hearts to God’s will and trust Him.

Jesus advocates on our behalf because of His great Love and Compassion. We don’t deserve to have someone else plead our case before the Righteous Throne of God. And we are not qualified to plead our own case– we are guilty in the sight of a perfectly Holy God.

“But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” Hebrews 5:8-11 ESV

You will never, NEVER pray alone! And who better to have as a prayer partner than the very Son of God Himself! He is our Savior, our Champion, and our Advocate!

September 9, 2024 0

Where Does My Help Come From?

I read an on-line article the other day https://www.verywellhealth.com/perils-of-using-the-internet-to-self-diagnose-4117449 about people using the internet to find medical information, rather than seeing a doctor. The article focuses on self-diagnosis, and the dangers of using only on-line sources to diagnose and treat a chronic medical condition. But I was astonished to note that over two-thirds of American adults (according to various studies) are using the internet to get at least some of their medical advice, and many of them prefer to get their medical information in this way. Why is this?

I think there are several factors, many of which are not discussed in the article:

Convenience–The internet is easy, quick, and convenient. I can look up medical terms, symptoms, treatment options, find testimonials and comparisons of various medications and procedures all at the touch of a few buttons, all from the privacy of my own home. I can stay in my pajamas!
Cost (in both time and money)– I can save hours of sitting in waiting rooms and thousands of dollars by seeking help from the internet. I don’t need to “waste” time or money on multiple appointments in multiple locations with multiple specialists. I don’t need to spend more on medication if the internet offers alternative treatments.

“Confirmation Bias”– the article does discuss the idea that using the internet often helps us achieve a sense that we “know” ourselves better than our health care provider– that the information on the internet can be customized to confirm our already-held beliefs about what is wrong and how to treat it. And we can find on-line groups and sites that will confirm and support whatever we already believe about our health or treatment options, or steer us toward a course of treatment that more closely aligns with our established preferences and habits.
Community–One of the positive points about using the internet is that we can connect with a community of others who also suffer from similar chronic conditions. We can receive support and advice from people near and far, and connect with resources that would otherwise be unknown to us, given by those who seem to understand and sympathize.
Credibility–The article does NOT go into much detail about this, but many Americans (and I suspect others) no longer have a blind trust in the medical profession. Even once respected institutions, such as the National Institutes of Health, the Center for Disease Control, and the World Health Organization have lost much of their status and credibility due to their handling of COVID and other recent medical crises. We no longer trust the “experts” to give us the best medical advice. We are looking for someone (anyone) who seems to have a better answer–one that doesn’t require us to trust where we have felt disappointed or hurt.

Of course, this poses danger and risk to anyone who is trying to “go it alone” in their medical journey. We risk getting it wrong and causing more harm– even risking our lives. We may end up spending more time, energy, and money “fixing” the damage we cause by trusting the wrong people, and end up confused, frustrated, and angry at ourselves and everyone else we trusted to help us. Even “support” groups have been known to give false encouragement and even prey on people or families who are struggling with chronic illness.

But this article also reminded me that we can risk our spiritual health in the same way– going it alone instead of getting connected to a local church, or substituting on-line articles and blogs (even this one!) for daily personal prayer and Bible study. How does this happen, and WHY?

Do we find it more convenient to pick and choose our counsel from the abundance of resources available on-line? Do we only want to read or listen to those who tell us what we want to hear? (See 2 Timothy 4:3-5)

Are we trying to “cut corners” in the cost of being a Christian? Do we find it too much to spend time in church, wrestle with questions, accept correction from others, or ask for help?
Are we worried about “fitting in” or are we trying to create a “holy huddle” of like-minded people, regardless of our call to be part of the “Body of Christ?” (see 1 Corinthians 12:12-30)
Have we lost faith in the Church because of past encounters with others, or the attacks of unbelievers? Do we find it easier to “customize” our spiritual life, closing ourselves off from the kind of challenges that cause us to grow, and falling into a comfortable compromise?

The internet can be a wonderful tool, allowing us to share encouragement, testimonies, warnings, and valuable information globally with a few keystrokes! But it is not without risks. Ultimately, we need to trust, not the makers of websites, or the self-proclaimed “experts” of the world, but in the Sovereign God– the Maker of Heaven and Earth, the one who holds the future of our health (both physical and spiritual) in His Almighty Hands!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

I lift my eyes toward the mountains.
Where will my help from from?
My help comes from the LORD,
The Maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:1-2

My prayer today is that we would look beyond the mountains of information we find on the internet, and fix our sight and our trust in God for our daily bread, our health, and our future. May we rely on His wisdom to help us seek the right counsel, and to learn, even from our sufferings, that His Presence and His Promises are eternal, sufficient, and sure!

August 28, 2023 0

A Prayer For Fathers

We are approaching Father’s Day. It is a day of celebration for many people, but it can also be a day of sadness for others. This year will be a milestone for our family, as my father passed away 25 years ago; and yet–we are preparing to celebrate the birth of my grand-nephew’s first child. This will make him a father, my nephew will become a grandfather, and my brother will become a great-grandfather! My husband is a father and grandfather, and so are three of his brothers. We also have brothers, brothers-in-law, nephews and cousins who are great dads. So we really have a lot to celebrate!

Fatherhood– the kind we celebrate– is more than just contributing genetic material to a new life, or claiming a child on an income tax statement, or showing up once in awhile for major events. Fatherhood involves sacrifice. It requires wisdom and patience. It involves ongoing commitments, and the tough love that says, “No” because it’s the right thing, rather than the easy thing to say. Fatherhood requires a man to be a teacher, provider, protector, defender, coach, and disciplinarian. It also requires humility, and grace, encouragement and sometimes tears. In addition, fatherhood requires prayer. No father is perfect, and no father can do all that he needs to in his own power. Fathers need our support and encouragement, our grace, and our prayers.

It is tempting to label our fathers. I have known “good” fathers. And I have known fathers who have abandoned or even abused their responsibilities, causing trauma, anguish, and hurt to their families, lasting for generations. My own father wasn’t perfect, but he was a “good” father. He was a man of humor and integrity, faithful, honest, loving and humble; a man of faith, and a man of honor. My father-in-law was the same. They left wonderful legacies of wisdom, hard work, and quiet strength. But I know of other fathers who have ruined the lives of their children (as well as their own lives) through fear, selfishness, addictions, abuse, anger, greed, and pride. Father’s Day can cause regret, envy, and bitterness in the hearts of many fathers and children alike. Many people would like to forget about their fathers on Father’s Day. Some don’t even know how to celebrate– they’ve never seen or heard from their father; some don’t even know his name!

But Father’s Day is not only for “good” fathers. It is a time to honor those who have been faithful, but it is also a time to reach out to those who need help. Good fathers are needed! And “bad” fathers need to be called out– not indulged or ignored, but held, guided, rehabilitated, or even incarcerated, for the good of their children. Hurting boys often grow up to be hurtful fathers. Hurting girls often end up in hurtful relationships. Hurtful fathers often struggle with their own baggage of hurt and disappointment from past generations, without knowing how to change. Fathers need more than a “day”, a cook-out, or another tie. They need a mission and a purpose; they need respect and forgiveness; they need encouragement and accountability.

My prayer today is that this Father’s Day can be a day of honor AND of healing for fathers and their children. I pray that struggling fathers will be encouraged and strengthened; that hard-working, faithful fathers will see the rewards of their efforts and find hope to keep going; that absent and apathetic fathers will wake up to the challenge and the gift of fatherhood; that broken fathers will find help and healing for themselves AND for their families; that hurting sons and daughters will find the grace to move beyond the pain of unmet expectations and abuse to become better men and women.

All that I pray for is made possible because we have a Heavenly Father– a perfect, loving, eternally wise Father– who loves us through our struggles and our pain. He knows our every need, sees our every tear, and hears our every prayer. He is ready to be our coach, our provider, our healer, our disciplinarian, and our protector. No matter our experiences or how we feel about our earthly fathers, or about being a father, we can trust Him to be all that we need. Our Heavenly Father will never abandon us, reject us, abuse us, or despise us. He will comfort, encourage, uplift, and guide us– now and forever. All we need to do is pray and accept Him for all that He is!

June 16, 2023 0

Two or More

¹⁰If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he’s in trouble.¹¹Also, on a cold night, two under the same blanket gain warmth from each other, but how can one be warm alone? ¹²And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:10-12

At least once each month this year, I want to write about practical ways to develop our Pursuit of Prayer. Today, I want to focus on seeking out a partner or prayer group.

There are many benefits of adding corporate or communal prayer to our lives. Most of our prayers will take place between just ourselves and God. We may pray during our quiet time, early in the morning, or just before bedtime. Our prayers may be short or long; full of joy or sorrow; silent or even mumbled. But when we pray with at least one other person, the following should happen:

We should be more focused. It may sound shallow or presumptuous, but praying aloud in front of a “human” audience has a tendency to keep us focused on the words we use and the thoughts we are sharing. And, while we can fall victim to the temptation to show off our eloquence, or say what we think others want to hear, we can also be sharpened by the reality that God AND others are listening! Have you ever “caught” yourself praying without really “hearing” your own thoughts? Sometimes, prayers can become rote or stale. We can pray on “automatic pilot”– repeating requests or phrases without really meaning them. Praying aloud in front of others won’t necessarily stop that from happening, but it should make us more focused.
We should learn from the prayers of others. Listening to others pray gives us insight into THEIR thoughts and hearts. It can also give us insight into how others communicate with the Father. Sometimes others have knowledge of issues and requests of which I am unaware or unburdened. Sometimes, they have a different way of relating to the Father– not “better,” but different in perspective or experience. I have been startled, convicted, encouraged, and emboldened by listening to the prayers of my brothers and sisters in Christ. And there is a “flip-side” to this, namely
We should allow others to learn from our prayers. I know many people who feel their prayers are somehow “inferior.” They use simple words, or their words don’t flow smoothly. They are ashamed to pray in public. And yet, thousands have been inspired and humbled by so-called “simple” prayers. They teach faith and humility; trust and caring; and even courage and strength. If everyone’s prayers were the same, or if everyone’s prayers were about their own abilities or eloquence, they would lose much of their power– because prayer is not about US; it is about God working THROUGH us.
We can agree in prayer. As one of us prays aloud, the other(s) can pray along silently in agreement. This may seem like a simple truth, or a trivial point, but it is not. Prayer, like the rest of our life, is meant to be done in communion with others–we are not meant to be solitary and self-sufficient. There is exponential power in communal prayer, as we come together in agreement on various issues. It is one of the reasons that so many revival experiences begin with a small group of people who pray fervently. This isn’t just a metaphysical phenomenon. Hearing others pray about the things weighing on my heart encourages me to keep praying when I am alone again. Hearing others pray with the same heart encourages my faith and resolve. Hearing others agree in prayer may even plant a seed that wasn’t there before. Conversely, hearing others pray may cause me to reevaluate my own thinking, or help us better hear faulty thinking and disagreement over certain issues, causing us to seek resolution and truth over long-held but unquestioned beliefs. Praying aloud can help bring us closer toward unity!

Our prayers become more powerful. “Where two or three are gathered…” Matthew 18:20 says that where two or three are gathered together in my (Jesus’) name, he will there in the midst of them. This verse is often taken out of context. It does NOT mean that Jesus will ONLY be with groups of two or more. Jesus promises never to leave or forsake ANYONE who puts their trust in Him. Others have taken this promise (along with its preceding verse) to mean that where two or three people pray together, Jesus is obligated to give them whatever they ask for. This is also misleading. Jesus is with us, not to give us a particular outcome or answer, but to guide us into truth and faith. It means that Jesus is with each person, AND with everyone who gathers together in HIS name. His presence is magnified; His power is magnified (if such a thing is possible…) Just as in the passage in Ecclesiastes, the power of a united group– even a small group of two or three PLUS JESUS– cannot be over-emphasized. Remember the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? Satan does not worry when Christians gather together to protest or complain. It warms his heart to see a small group of Christians come together to gossip, boast, or argue. But he shudders when Christians meet together in Faith to pray! It is much more difficult for him to distract, distort, and discourage us when we pray together–for each other, with each other, beside each other!
We become more accountable. This happens best when we meet regularly for prayer with another/others. It doesn’t have to be daily or even weekly, but when we meet consistently, we challenge one another to be faithful, active, and accountable in our prayers and in our living. I pray more often alone when I pray more often with a friend or group! I pray with more focus and purpose. I pray more intentionally.

If you don’t have a regular prayer partner or prayer group, I encourage you to seek out a friend or a group of people who will meet regularly. Even if it is not a “Prayer” group– it may be a Bible Study group, a group of friends meeting for lunch once a month, or a neighbor who carpools or commutes with you. Make prayer part of your friendship or group on a regular basis.

May 26, 2023 0

Vending Machine Prayers

As I write this, my mom is dying. We don’t know how much longer she has, but we’ve asked for prayers as she takes this journey toward death and resurrection. These are sometimes difficult prayers to make. We don’t like to see Mom suffering, but we don’t like the thought of separation through death, either. Our initial prayer would be for complete healing. But that’s not realistic, given that Mom has heart failure and is almost 90 years old. That doesn’t mean that God cannot or would not grant total healing. But we aren’t expecting that kind of miracle when we pray today.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

For some people, our prayers seem meaningless. One of my classmates from school reacted to my request for prayer by saying, “I just wish that prayer DID something…” I take this to mean that if we don’t get a miraculous outcome, she believes our prayers are wasted. I hope I’m misinterpreting here, but I know that this is a common criticism of prayer in tough times. It seems that every time there is a natural disaster, or a mass shooting, people who offer “thoughts and prayers” are roundly criticized for praying “instead” of “doing.” As though the two are mutually exclusive. As though prayer is an empty gesture in the face of disaster and distress. As though there is no hope, no comfort, and no help in praying.

There are others who will assert with complete confidence their belief that God will answer any prayer for a miracle, simply because they ask it “in Jesus’ Name” or because many people are praying for the same outcome. I call these kinds of prayers, and attitudes about prayer, “Vending Machine Prayers.” It is the belief that prayer must produce an immediate and positive outcome, or it is “broken” or invalid. If you don’t get what you were expecting, you must have prayed “wrong,” or didn’t have “enough” faith. Or your prayer just didn’t “work.” When someone puts money into a vending machine, and presses a button or punches in a code or pulls a knob, and they don’t get the expected item, some of them will kick the machine, or curse. Or they will try again, carefully trying to get the “right” result. Vending machines are inanimate objects designed to give a satisfactory consumer experience. If the coins or bills “jam,” if the knobs or buttons malfunction, if the product gets “stuck,” or isn’t available, the consumer feels cheated. Sometimes, they can get their money returned, but most often, they go away angry and unfulfilled.

God is not a vending machine. He is not “designed” to serve us or give us satisfaction. There is nothing we can “insert” in our relationship with God –even sincere prayer–that obligates Him to give us what we desire. God chooses to answer prayers in whatever way He knows is best for our eternal and overall well-being. God still gives miracles. I’ve seen it and experienced it. In fact, we could have lost Mom several years ago, when her heart failure put her in a similar state. God provided a miracle in the form of heart valve replacement surgery–and a cancellation that moved her surgery schedule forward before her condition was too far gone. I’ve seen people healed of cancer– and people whose prayers for healing ended in their rapid decline and death. But none of those prayers were wasted. Not one. God was working– sometimes on the sidelines, strengthening family members to deal with grief; sometimes providing testimonies to those with doubts and questions; sometimes planting seeds that would bear fruit years later in the lives of those left behind–sometimes God was working “sideways,” as He did with Mom years ago to give her several more years of life, even though she wasn’t completely healed, to grow and prepare for this next step and testify to God’s sustaining power.

God is not apathetic, and He certainly isn’t “happy” about Mom’s decline and her impending death. He shares our sufferings and our sorrows. But God knows and sees the “rest of the story!” Jesus wept over the death of His friend Lazarus, even though He knew that Lazarus would be raised back to life. Jesus was sharing the deep grief over the loss and sorrow felt by all of His friends, just as He rejoiced with them as Lazarus walked home from the tomb! (See John 11 for the whole story.) God doesn’t delight in death. He is the author of LIFE. But He is very present through every stage of life– even that last bitter taste of death we all must experience. And just as we pray for God’s miraculous presence, we pray for His guiding, comforting, and hopeful presence in ALL situations.

Prayer DOES something! Even if we don’t see immediate changes in situations; prayer changes US. It changes OTHERS. It changes our priorities and perspectives. It draws us close– to each other and to the One whose Love is Eternal and unchanging.

116 I love the Lord, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.

²Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.

³The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow.

⁴Then called I upon the name of the Lord; O Lord, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.

⁵Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.

⁶The Lord preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

⁷Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee.

⁸For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.

⁹I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.

¹⁰I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted:

¹¹I said in my haste, All men are liars.

¹²What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits toward me?

¹³I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the Lord.

¹⁴I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people.

¹⁵Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

¹⁶O Lord, truly I am thy servant; I am thy servant, and the son of thine handmaid: thou hast loosed my bonds.

¹⁷I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the Lord.

¹⁸I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people.

¹⁹In the courts of the Lord’s house, in the midst of thee, O Jerusalem. Praise ye the Lord.
Psalm 116 KJV (emphasis added)

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There are dozens, if not hundreds, of people praying for my Mom (and all of us who love her so very much). And probably, there are some “vending machine” prayers among them. That’s ok. God hears them all. And I am so very blessed by them all. Because prayers DO SOMETHING AMAZING. They rise to a God who sees, who hears, and who LOVES unconditionally, eternally, and perfectly! We’re actively trying to do what we can do to make Mom comfortable and seeking treatment that will ease her last days, but we depend on God’s touch, His healing, His timing, and His good will to see us all through and keep us in perfect peace.

February 24, 2023 1

Reflections on the “Big Game”

I missed this year’s Super Bowl. For anyone who is unfamiliar with this tradition, the Super Bowl is the name given (and trade-marked– that’s why this post’s title is the “Big Game”) to the national championship game for American Football each year. The tradition is as old as I am– 57 years–and each year, it gets nearly as much hype as the World Cup (Football in most of the rest of the world!)

Though I missed watching the game, I have some reflections to share about it:

While it is an important sporting event for anyone interested in American Football, it is not (for most of us) a life-changing, “Super” anything. I have not watched a Super Bowl game in many years, and my life is every bit as rich and full as it was in years when I did watch. The teams come and go, the players change, and the even the most exciting plays will be largely forgotten in the coming years (except for what gets re-played on “highlights”). It is a Big game. But it is not real life, and it is not THE Big event of anyone’s life– even the players will have other events (marriage, the birth of a child, the death of a parent, etc.) that will compete with the three hours spent one Sunday in February on a football field.
Football is divided into two halves (four quarters, to be exact). In between the two halves is a period known as “Half Time.” This is a curious ritual. The two teams get about a half hour to rest, reflect, strategize, and regroup before the second half of the game. Meanwhile, the fans get treated to an entertainment. In high school and college football, this is usually a chance for the marching band to show off. It has a military flavor, with drums, flags, formations, and cheerleaders all getting the crowd enthused for the “home team.” But there is no “Home” team for a Super Bowl. The teams play in a neutral location. So the “halftime” entertainment is like a condensed rock concert. The entertainment has nothing to do with the game at hand, and has no clear purpose.
The Super Bowl is televised, and corporations, public service groups, and other interests spend millions of dollars to buy advertising rites, and millions more dollars creating what they hope will be memorable ads to be shown during this window of high visibility. Tickets for the live event are expensive, but millions of people are watching on TV from their homes, or at sports bars or special “Super Bowl” parties.
Super Bowl Parties are a huge “thing.” Fans spend hundreds and even thousands of dollars on special food, decorations, venues, team-related clothing and other “gear.”

I am not a big football fan, so I don’t understand a lot of the hype. I don’t begrudge anyone the fun of watching and enjoying sporting events, but I wonder about some of the emphasis placed on this event. What would happen if:

People spent the same kind of energy, time, or money on strengthening their family, or building up their community, or spreading the gospel?..There are “Real life” events that are far more important and urgent than a football game– especially one in which we are mere spectators–that should cause us to clear our schedule, make preparations, and keep us riveted. How many people can recall cheering on a new bride and groom, or a high school graduate or a recovering addict or a new Christian with even a tenth of the excitement they give to a groups of players they’ve never met or spoken to, for a game that has no lasting impact on their own life, their family or community?
Only those people who were actual football fans attended the Super Bowl or Super Bowl Parties? How many people are spending money, time, and energy on something they don’t even really care about, because of the “shiny” extras on the periphery– the snacks, the Halftime Show, being the “first” to see the newest ads, being part of “the fun”, going along with the “in” crowd?”
Churches, schools, charities, etc., could garner similar commitment and excitement from their members and communities? What if we could generate the same kind of money and enthusiasm to fill food banks or send relief to those impacted by hurricanes or earthquakes? What if prayer meetings and tent revivals broke attendance records? What if graduation parties and anniversary parties were as elaborate as Super Bowl Parties?

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Just some thoughts. As I said above, I missed the Super Bowl this year…I don’t know what I might have enjoyed, or what memories I might have had. I much prefer the memories I have of spending time with grandkids, or celebrating special birthdays with friends and family, or helping plan a graduation party for my niece and nephew, or sharing the joy of a baptism. To me, that is Super way to spend a day.

February 15, 2023 0

Of Broken Femurs, Hearts, and Toilets

The past two weeks have been just a bit chaotic for our families. My mother fell and broke her femur, near her hip–not the hip she broke over a year ago, but the other one! Less than twenty-four hours later, my mother-in-law fell–and broke her femur. Each mom ended up in a different hospital for surgery, and in a different rehabilitation facility, located nearly fifty miles apart. Last week, two members of our extended family died on the same day in the same city; their funerals were a day apart in two different parts of the city, but handled by the same funeral home. On the day of the first funeral, we found out that another member of the family died. That same night, our toilet broke. Water poured into our upstairs bathroom, soaking the floor, running into the next room, and dripping down to the floor below. In the middle of all this, I slipped on the ice, fell hard, and bruised my ribs.

Where was God in all this? He was right there in every situation. God doesn’t disappear when the going gets tough– He is steady, sure, and faithful.

Neither of our moms suffered a concussion or any other major damage from their falls. They were able to get treatment and surgery, and they are receiving care and therapy. And, while this is something we might have taken for granted at one time, it is something for which we praise God, because it could have been much more tragic in both cases.
We live close enough to both moms that we have been able to help and visit (where we can because of continuing COVID restrictions). Though the facilities are fifty miles from each other, neither is fifty miles from our home. Also, both moms are able to receive phone calls, and we are able to receive updates from the staff at each place.
We have close families, and wonderful neighbors and friends– we are not alone in caring for our moms or grieving our loved ones, and there is a network of prayer, support and concern that staggers my imagination! I cannot imagine trying to navigate this without help– again, this is something we might take for granted, but God has been in the details long before any of this happened. Our families, friends, and neighbors represent dozens of church bodies from around the country and the world, as well as a significant group close to home– how marvelous that God allows us to work together as a body in every situation.

Though we have lost three family members in rapid succession, all three were believers! All three left a legacy of faith, love, and hope. We mourn their loss, but we also celebrate their lives with joy and not regret.
David HATES plumbing, but he knew what to do to fix the toilet. The damage from the flooding was minimal, all of our towels are freshly laundered, and the toilet works again!
My fall could have resulted in ANOTHER broken femur– or a broken arm, concussion, etc.. While it hurts to sneeze or yawn or blow my nose, at least it doesn’t hurt to breathe, and I can move and go about my day, cautiously, but normally.

God allows difficult things to come into our lives– and I don’t have any definitive answer for WHY we have been experiencing so many trials all at once. But I can say this:

Trials make us stop and look and question– and that can be a good thing. God is big enough, wise enough, and sovereign “enough” to handle our tears, our fears, our weakness, and our momentary doubts. In fact, it is in recognizing our limitations that we can focus more on God’s limitless grace and boundless love!
Trials bring us closer to each other. Our chaotic couple of weeks are just a drop in the bucket among all the other problems of the world, but so many wonderful people have called or sent messages of hope and encouragement over the past two weeks, my heart is bursting– not with the pain, but with joy and gratitude.
Trials teach us patience (see my post on “Be Careful What You Pray For.”) The toilet breaking was my low point this past week– even though it did not directly touch on our health or a loved one. But God sent friends and angels to remind me that this was a very minor problem– even among all the others– and that God was “flushing” away some unnecessary angst if I would just let it go!

There is nothing that takes God by surprise– nothing that causes Him to pause and wonder, “what happens next.” I can praise God in the hospital as I watch my mom cry in pain. I can praise God when my husband finds his mother “alive” (when he couldn’t be sure). I can praise God when I’m flat on my face on the ice, winded and sore. I can praise God when toilet water is soaking my socks. I can praise God when I hug cousins who have lost their parents to cancer or dementia, or age, knowing that God is with us every moment, in every tear, every hug, every shared memory, and every hope that our loved ones now experience what we will also know someday.

I’m ready for 2022 to calm down a little bit. But if it doesn’t, I’m also ready to be broken again– whether through broken legs, broken toilets, or broken hearts. God is in the business of repairing and restoring broken things and broken people. And no one does it better!

January 26, 2022 0

Praying for the Pulpit

October is Pastor Appreciation Month. I have mixed feelings about such designations. I’m glad to appreciate my pastors, past and present; to honor their service, their wisdom, their heart for God and their flocks, and their selfless devotion to both. And I believe that pastors are some of the most under-appreciated, over-worked, overlooked people in our world today. One way we can show appreciation is to pray for our pastors, their families, and our churches. And not just during a single month of the year. But for the remainder of this month, let’s make a point of praying faithfully for pastors. Here are a few reasons why, beyond just showing appreciation:

The raw data…

Reasons many pastors are leaving the ministry..

Pastors under personal attack (Christianity Today)

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How can we pray for pastors?

Remember their basic daily needs (health, family, finances, emotions, wisdom, etc.) as well as spiritual needs
Remember they are sinners saved by grace, just like the rest of us– pray for grace and wisdom to show encouragement and acceptance
Ask them how you can pray for them! It is surprising how many in the congregation are willing to share their needs but NEVER ask how they can lift up their pastors.
Ask God to show you ways to appreciate, encourage, and (genuinely) help your pastor(s).

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Be grateful–Thank God for your pastor–Thank Him for your pastor’s strengths, and for the ways your pastor has shown growth and humility. Thank God for your pastor’s family and for those who come alongside to help him/her in ministry. Thank God if you live in an area where pastors can preach freely, openly, and honestly from God’s Word.
Be honest–(see above) Being grateful for our pastor doesn’t mean that s/he is flawless, or that we don’t care about differences of opinion, or even questionable practices. Giving grace doesn’t mean ignoring sin; but it also means looking honestly and prayerfully at a situation. Often the “fault” we see lies in ourselves; we don’t like the sermons because they hit too close to home, or because are expecting great oratory and have no patience for simple homilies. But occasionally, the fault is something that requires talking with or even confronting the pastor. Pray for wisdom and humility, grace and strength.

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Be wise. Satan likes nothing better than to get us thinking about, discussing, and even bringing to God every little fault about our pastor (and our neighbor, our spouse, our in-laws, and even ourselves!) Satan also thrives on half-truths, rumors, misinformation and assumption. Pray that God will keep your pastor safe from ugly rumors, lies, and false accusations; pray also that God will keep your pastor accountable and your congregation open to following Biblical principles for confrontation, punishment, repentance, and restoration for all.

Faithful, God-fearing, loving, wise pastors are priceless gifts from our Heavenly Father. Let’s be sure to pray for them, pray WITH them, and speak words of encouragement and gratitude.

And it wouldn’t hurt if you sent them a card or gift, or offered to take them out for coffee or dinner– just a thought…

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October 23, 2018 0

Tag: support