November 10th marks the 50th anniversary of the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, an iron freighter that sank in Lake Superior. The gale-force winds tossed the ship (carrying over 26,000 tons of iron) in waves of over 35 feet. All 29 sailors aboard the ship were lost. The event has been memorialized in song and stories, and in at least one museum display at Whitefish Point Michigan, near where the wreck occurred. The bell tolled 29 times, once for every life lost in the storm. Fifty years later, families are still haunted by the tragedy– a continuing reminder of the fragility of life, and the power and destructive force of winds and waves.
Some days, the hits just keep coming– an unexpected expense, a misunderstanding at work, a fender-bender during the commute, a plumbing nightmare, a migraine, the phone call with bad news. Each new pain rolls over us, throwing us off balance, and trying to drag us under like a storm-tossed ship.
“Even so, it is well with my soul.” The story of this favorite hymn has been told many times, but it bears repeating. ( It Is Will With My Soul. wikipedia.org ) The author of these words had lost everything– his only son had died; shortly afterward, he lost almost all his money and property in the Great Chicago Fire of 1871. A friend, knowing of his troubles invited him to bring his family to England for an evangelistic campaign. Mr. Spafford (the above-mentioned author of the hymn) had to stay behind and sent his wife and four daughters ahead. Their ship, the Ville du Havre, was struck by another vessel and sank. All four of the daughters were drowned, and only his wife survived to send him news of the tragedy. As he made the heartbreaking voyage to rejoin his wife, he passed the place where his daughters had most likely gone down. At that moment, Mr. Spafford felt a welling of peace and hope beyond human understanding, which led him to pen the words that have given comfort to so many in the years since:
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul.
Nothing can prepare us for the sorrows that sweep over us at unexpected moments. Nothing can stop them, and though we know they will come, no one knows how high they will rise, or when they will crest and break around us. No one except the one who set the boundaries of the sea, the one who has walked on its waters, and the one who can calm the storm.
God doesn’t remove the sorrows or tragedies from our life or prevent them from washing around and over us. But for those who trust in him, there is a promise that we will not be consumed. We may be in a storm-tossed boat in the middle of a raging sea, but at our faintest cry, Jesus will walk on choppy waves to be by our side and bring comfort. He will teach us to be in awe of him as he commands the winds and waves to obey him. He will teach us to trust him in the good times and the bad. He will teach us to say, “It is well with my soul!”
35 Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or anguish or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: Because of You we are being put to death all day long; we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered.[a] 37 No, in all these things we are more than victorious through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that not even death or life, angels or rulers, things present or things to come, hostile powers, 39 height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord! Romans 8:35-39 (HCSB)
A priest, a Baptist minister and a rabbit go to a pub for lunch. The hostess meets them at the door with a message. “Today, we are helping a local blood bank. Your lunch is free if you donate a pint of blood.” All three agree to donate blood in exchange for a free lunch. The hostess asks each one in turn for his blood type. The priest says, “I believe my blood type is A negative. The minister says, “It’s been a long time, but I seem to remember that I am AB positive.” Finally, she turns to the rabbit. “I was supposed to be a Rabbi, so I must be a Type O!”
I love puns, and like many puns, the humor in this one comes from a grammatical or spelling error. Something in the story is almost, but not quite, as it should be. It is a good thing to be able to laugh at small mistakes. But what happens when things are terribly wrong? It’s not funny at all. It’s devastating, confusing, and frightening. We want answers. We want the situation “fixed.” We want to find out what went wrong, why it went wrong, and who is responsible.
California is burning as I write this. Thousands of acres destroyed; hundreds of homes and businesses reduced to ashes; thousands of people left homeless. Where is God in these fires? When an innocent child is abducted, raped, mutilated and left for dead, where is God? Where is God amid the unrest in Mozambique, where typhoons and political unrest have caused so much havoc? Where was God when the hurricane and storm surge displaced tens of thousands of people in North Carolina, Tennessee, and Georgia less than six months ago? Where is God in the war-torn regions of the world, where innocent families are being terrorized by bombing raids and invading armies? Where was God when millions were dying of COVID just a few short years ago?
I’d love to say that I have an answer. One that is comfortable, unassailable, logical and easy to understand. But I don’t. The “glib” answer is that God is on His Throne, omnipotent and all-wise. And He is. He is not to “blame” for personal tragedies or for sweeping disasters. Sometimes, God intervenes in miraculous ways to “save” us from certain death, “accidents,” or even attacks. But often, He chooses not to do so. And I have no explanation, no all-encompassing, deeply soothing answer for those who are left suffering.
What I do know is this: God is a redeeming God. He is a God who can and often will turn tragedy into triumph. And even if, in such cases, the triumph is often bitter-sweet. This is a God who created mankind, knowing we would reject His goodness and go our own way. This is a God who took a single faithful man (Abraham) and made him the father of many nations– some of whom are still at war to this very day. This is a God who did not spare His Only Begotten Son, but allowed Him to go through a sham trial, be falsely convicted, and die a painful, publicly humiliating death. And then, Christ arose!
What does that mean for someone whose son or daughter is still dead after five (or 25) years of grieving? For someone who lives every day with the trauma of having been raped or abused as a child. It does not give immediate comfort. It does not take away the sting of injustice, pain, and questioning. But it is the promise of redemption– that just as Christ rose victorious, He will cause the pain and grief of the past to disappear in the Joy and Wonder of Eternity with Him. He WILL bring ultimate and complete justice, and it will be perfectly overwhelmed with mercy, grace, and freedom from the past.
It may seem slow and painful, but it WILL happen. Those who have suffered; they will laugh again. Those who are drowning in the senselessness of their own sorrow will experience healing and have answers to their questions. Those areas of the world where suffering is so great in the present– they will recover. Trees and gardens will grow again. Houses will be rebuilt. And yes, there will still be disasters and devastation in our lifetime, and in the years to come– UNTIL THAT DAY. That day when Christ returns to make all things new. Whatever hurts and griefs we carry now, they will be overtaken by joy and healing. No more fires, no more floods, no more war, no more disease, no more “mistakes.”
I don’t know why God allows us to suffer now. I’ve heard some philosophers try to explain, and they have many “good” reasons:
Suffering often leads to growth and necessary change. Suffering produces resilience and develops character. Suffering teaches us that there are consequences to our selfish and sinful actions. Suffering often brings people closer together and brings out the best in us as we offer help and hope and encouragement. Suffering teaches us to be compassionate toward others in their suffering and grief. Suffering contrasts with joy, helping us to appreciate what is truly good in our lives.
These are not bad answers. But they are not complete. They are not “enough.” And I think that’s part of God’s plan. God doesn’t want us to live life on autopilot. He doesn’t give us “easy” answers– just like He doesn’t give us a life without any purpose or challenge. He doesn’t want us to focus on having all the answers. He wants us to learn from each other, depend on one another, and ultimately to trust that He knows best. It’s not an easy lesson to learn. But if we stay in pursuit of Prayer, and closeness to God, it’s a lesson well worth struggling through.
And sometimes, we can learn to laugh at life’s “typos” and other little mistakes as we travel this life.
We are a curious race, humans–we ask a lot of questions of ourselves, each other, and even of God. How did He make the universe? When will Jesus return? Who can we trust in this world? Where is Heaven? What must we do to be saved? But the majority of our questions are “Why” questions. Why did Jesus come? Why did He have to die? Why did God make snakes and mosquitoes and platypuses? Why are men and women so different? Why am I… (short/tall, fat/thin, clumsy, “odd,” misunderstood, etc.)? Why are You so mysterious? Why do bad things happen to “good” people?
I was thinking about this last question this week. I don’t have any definitive answer to that– no one I know has any better answer. God has not given us a definitive answer, either. We are to trust that His ways are wise and best and perfect, but faith and trust require–well, Faith and Trust! We know God has done good things in the past. We know He has redeemed what seemed like hopeless situations. We know His promises, and we have seen some of them fulfilled. Still, such a question can often leave us blindsided and tongue-tied.
There are many learned thinkers, philosophers, and apologists who have written whole books on this subject, but I want to just pose a couple of ideas to help us, not ANSWER the question, but understand the question a little better.
First, the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” is really two questions: “Why do ‘bad’ things happen?” AND “Why do they happen to ‘good’ people?” So let’s look at the questions separately.
“Why do ‘bad’ things happen?” What do we mean when we say “bad things?” There are many circumstances, events, diagnoses, and occurrences that may be called “bad.” Death is “bad.” Indigestion is “bad.” Stubbing one’s toe is “bad.” Being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease is “bad.” Divorce is “bad.” Slavery and abuse are “bad.” House fires, job losses, being mugged, being stranded without heat in a blizzard, an outbreak of acne, being laughed at– all these are “bad.” But they are all different. Many “bad” things are the direct result of sin–we suffer the consequences of our own sin; we are the victims of the sins of others. The consequences of addiction can be horrific, but we often lack compassion for those who are suffering, because “they brought it upon themselves.” But what about the innocent victim of rape or child sex trafficking? Such acts leave victims traumatized and broken. Both are “bad,” but we are angered and frustrated even more when “bad” consequences also seem unjust and unfair. And what about natural disasters? Are they the result of sin, as well? The Bible suggests that they are. When God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, they lived naked, carefree, and unafraid. Only after their sin did God place a curse on the land– Adam would now have to cultivate the land in order to get food. There would be enmity between the woman and the serpent. Eve (and all women after her) would have pains in childbirth. (see https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+3%3A+14-20&version=NIV) There is no mention of hurricanes, blizzards, or earthquakes prior to the Fall of mankind, though it is speculation on my part, to say that there were none.
God has promised to make all things new. There will be a time when the consequences of Sin will be eradicated. We will not even remember the suffering we endured in life, in light of the blessings of eternity. So, though God doesn’t answer our question of why “bad” things happen, He does give us the assurance that such “bad” things do not determine our destiny, nor do they happen without His knowledge or outside of His will! We cannot understand God’s purposes in allowing us to suffer, though sometimes we may see a hint of good even in the midst of tragedy.
And God is loving and gracious in the face of our confusion and pain. We CAN ask God “Why?!” “Why me?” “Why this?” “Why now?” “Why them?” Why, O Lord!?” Many of the Psalms speak to this very question. But in the middle of his anguish, the psalmist often finds comfort and renewed strength to face the struggle, when he turns to God. Asking why is not always a sign of weak or failed Faith. Instead, it is acknowledging before God that we ache. We grieve. And we NEED HIM!”
And what about the second part of the question: “Why do (bad things) happen to ‘good’ people?” What makes a person “good?” Jesus was “Good,” And yet He questioned the rich young ruler, “Why do you call me good? No one is Good– except God alone.” (see https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+18%3A18-27&version=MSG) We tend to think of the people we know and like as “good.” And we have a natural expectation that their lives should be “good” also– free of pain or struggle. But that is not realistic in this world. The actor, Michael J. Fox has been suffering for years with Parkinson’s Disease. This seems unfair and cruel. How could God let him suffer like this? But there are many thousands of people suffering from Parkinson’s Disease. Some of them are homeless addicts; some are in prison for rape or embezzlement. Is their suffering any less than that of Mr. Fox? Is it somehow less tragic or unjust?
The sad and shocking truth is that none of us “deserves” a pain-free, struggle-free life. Bad things DO happen. And they happen to people we like, and people we hate; people we judge to be “good” and people we judge to be “bad.” God does not “play favorites.” Yes, God can, and often does intervene on someone’s behalf through prayer, or for His own bigger purposes. But He does not “dish out” suffering to those He dislikes out of spite or revenge. Nor does He cause His faithful to float through life without ever tasting bitterness and grief. Jesus made many promises, but one of them was this: “in this world you will have trouble; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) He didn’t promise that you might have a little spot of trouble, or that you might look around and see others in trouble– He promised that we would have trouble. Not because we are “bad” or “good” but because that’s the way this world is.
I find it odd that atheists often pose this question as a way of trying to “prove” that God doesn’t exist. They pose the question as an accusation. “If there is a kind and loving God, why do bad things happen to good people?” But if they believe that there ISN’T a kind and loving God, how do THEY explain why bad things happen to good people? How do they define “good” people and “bad” things? Without a Good God, where is the expectation of good things happening to good people? Without God, there are no objectively “good” things or “bad” things happening– only random events without divine cause or purpose. You can’t blame a non-existent God for things He either caused or didn’t prevent. Such questions are meant to plant doubt in the mind of a believer, but they fail to answer the greater question– Why do Good things happen to undeserving people? Why do we sometimes find joy and peace and strength in the midst of our suffering? Why do human beings continue to Hope?
Finally– the ultimate example of God letting something “bad” happen to someone “good” can be seen in the central image of our Faith– the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Jesus was sentenced unjustly to a torturous death and public humiliation. He was separated from God the Father, and carried the punishment for OUR sins so that WE could be reconciled to God. Even though the purpose of Christ’s suffering has been revealed to us, it doesn’t negate the agony and trauma He faced. And even HE cried out from the Cross– “My God, My God, WHY have YOU forsaken ME?!” (Matthew 27:46)
God does not answer the question of why “bad” things happen in this world. But in the crucifixion, Jesus proves to us that He shares and understands our suffering; that He has the power to overcome and redeem our traumas; and that He will hear our sincere cries of “WHY?!” He will hear when we turn toward Him, instead of turning our back on Him. He will hear our broken heart. He will heal our broken heart.
We are approaching Father’s Day. It is a day of celebration for many people, but it can also be a day of sadness for others. This year will be a milestone for our family, as my father passed away 25 years ago; and yet–we are preparing to celebrate the birth of my grand-nephew’s first child. This will make him a father, my nephew will become a grandfather, and my brother will become a great-grandfather! My husband is a father and grandfather, and so are three of his brothers. We also have brothers, brothers-in-law, nephews and cousins who are great dads. So we really have a lot to celebrate!
Fatherhood– the kind we celebrate– is more than just contributing genetic material to a new life, or claiming a child on an income tax statement, or showing up once in awhile for major events. Fatherhood involves sacrifice. It requires wisdom and patience. It involves ongoing commitments, and the tough love that says, “No” because it’s the right thing, rather than the easy thing to say. Fatherhood requires a man to be a teacher, provider, protector, defender, coach, and disciplinarian. It also requires humility, and grace, encouragement and sometimes tears. In addition, fatherhood requires prayer. No father is perfect, and no father can do all that he needs to in his own power. Fathers need our support and encouragement, our grace, and our prayers.
It is tempting to label our fathers. I have known “good” fathers. And I have known fathers who have abandoned or even abused their responsibilities, causing trauma, anguish, and hurt to their families, lasting for generations. My own father wasn’t perfect, but he was a “good” father. He was a man of humor and integrity, faithful, honest, loving and humble; a man of faith, and a man of honor. My father-in-law was the same. They left wonderful legacies of wisdom, hard work, and quiet strength. But I know of other fathers who have ruined the lives of their children (as well as their own lives) through fear, selfishness, addictions, abuse, anger, greed, and pride. Father’s Day can cause regret, envy, and bitterness in the hearts of many fathers and children alike. Many people would like to forget about their fathers on Father’s Day. Some don’t even know how to celebrate– they’ve never seen or heard from their father; some don’t even know his name!
But Father’s Day is not only for “good” fathers. It is a time to honor those who have been faithful, but it is also a time to reach out to those who need help. Good fathers are needed! And “bad” fathers need to be called out– not indulged or ignored, but held, guided, rehabilitated, or even incarcerated, for the good of their children. Hurting boys often grow up to be hurtful fathers. Hurting girls often end up in hurtful relationships. Hurtful fathers often struggle with their own baggage of hurt and disappointment from past generations, without knowing how to change. Fathers need more than a “day”, a cook-out, or another tie. They need a mission and a purpose; they need respect and forgiveness; they need encouragement and accountability.
My prayer today is that this Father’s Day can be a day of honor AND of healing for fathers and their children. I pray that struggling fathers will be encouraged and strengthened; that hard-working, faithful fathers will see the rewards of their efforts and find hope to keep going; that absent and apathetic fathers will wake up to the challenge and the gift of fatherhood; that broken fathers will find help and healing for themselves AND for their families; that hurting sons and daughters will find the grace to move beyond the pain of unmet expectations and abuse to become better men and women.
All that I pray for is made possible because we have a Heavenly Father– a perfect, loving, eternally wise Father– who loves us through our struggles and our pain. He knows our every need, sees our every tear, and hears our every prayer. He is ready to be our coach, our provider, our healer, our disciplinarian, and our protector. No matter our experiences or how we feel about our earthly fathers, or about being a father, we can trust Him to be all that we need. Our Heavenly Father will never abandon us, reject us, abuse us, or despise us. He will comfort, encourage, uplift, and guide us– now and forever. All we need to do is pray and accept Him for all that He is!
Pursuing Prayer 