Tag: trust

Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself

When I taught public speaking in a local public high school several years ago, we had an entire unit on “stage fright.” Studies showed that the fear of public speaking ranked right alongside the fear of death! But why? Why are we afraid to speak in front of a group? Especially a group of our peers?

It turns out that stage fright has two perfectly logical and definable causes: first is the desire to do well/be successful/be understood, appreciated, and accepted. But this natural desire collides with the realistic possibility that we will make a mistake, or that something will happen to keep us from being understood (like a problem with microphones, or interruptions), or that our message will not be accepted or appreciated. Neither of these thoughts, individually, is unreasonable. But the more we exaggerate them, the less our brain can process the duality. We cannot guarantee that all will go perfectly, nor can we assume that all will go horribly wrong. But the more we worry about all the things that MIGHT go wrong, the more we create stress. Ironically, the stress and fear we generate often leads to mistakes we otherwise might NOT have made!

Part of combating fear, then, is to acknowledge that we want to do well– our best, in fact– in spite of whatever circumstances we might face. Instead of exaggerating what MIGHT go wrong, we must put more energy into what we can control, practice, and mitigate. We also have to stay realistic about what we are likely to achieve in our efforts. This is especially true in a situation where we face an unknown or potentially hostile audience. Our goal is to do the best we can with what we have, not worry about achieving the impossible or controlling what is beyond our ability to control.

I was thinking about this recently as I watched several political candidates in debates, town halls, interviews, and even in their TV ads. Many of them show fear, and even a bit of panic over questions from interviewers, reactions from audiences, and attacks from their opponents. It can be nerve-wracking to face “gotcha” questions from an interviewer– questions that ask you to defend or explain things you said years ago or actions you took under different circumstances. But it can also be an opportunity to clarify a position, show growth and how to learn from past mistakes, or create healthy discussions.

The same holds for Christians who face a hostile or unknown audience for the Gospel. We can be very fearful of sharing the Good News if we allow ourselves to fall into worry and negative thinking. We can face “gotcha” questions from opponents– “Why does a ‘Good’ God allow Evil and suffering in the world?” “Why does God send people to Hell?” “What about good people who die without hearing the Gospel?” “I know you. You’re not perfect. Who are you to judge me?”

But the truth is that God hasn’t asked us to have all the answers to “gotcha” questions. He hasn’t asked us to produce “mic-drop” moments in which we stun our opponents into humiliation. But we ARE to be ready, willing, and able to defend– and let’s be clear about this– OUR hope in the Gospel. It is not our job to force everyone around us to accept a particular doctrine, or set of beliefs. It is not our job to make others change their minds or hearts. It IS our job to testify to the Goodness that God has shown to us– even while acknowledging that we continue to suffer in this life– not to explain away God’s actions or other people’s experiences. We don’t have to be out there winning arguments. We just have to be prepared to Speak UP!

The Apostle Peter seems not to have suffered from “stage fright.” He always spoke out– and sometimes regretted it later! But he gives us this wise advice in his first epistle:

 If with heart and soul you’re doing good, do you think you can be stopped? Even if you suffer for it, you’re still better off. Don’t give the opposition a second thought. Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you’re living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy. Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick. They’ll end up realizing that they’re the ones who need a bath. It’s better to suffer for doing good, if that’s what God wants, than to be punished for doing bad. That’s what Christ did definitively: suffered because of others’ sins, the Righteous One for the unrighteous ones. He went through it all—was put to death and then made alive—to bring us to God. 1 Peter 3:14-18 (The Message)

Peter doesn’t give us a false promise that everyone will like us or accept our message. In fact, he makes it clear that even Jesus was rejected and suffered at the hands of those who heard the truth from His own lips! Our goal is not to force someone else to accept the truth– but to testify to the truth as we know it, understand it, and live it out. We are not the ones who will judge who goes to Heaven or Hell. We are not the ones who wrote the Law. But we speak of these things because we hold them to be eternal, vital truths. Our job is to let Christ speak through us– not just in our words, but in our Christlike attitude and actions.

We don’t have to fear the crowds– though they may pose very real dangers. We don’t have to fear even those who oppose or oppress us. If we are following our Savior, the only thing in this world to fear…is fear itself.

“Lord, today, I ask for a heart of joy and boldness as I prepare to have an answer for those who would question my Faith and Hope in You. Help me to remember how much You love them, even if they are not willing to accept my words or actions. May I speak to them as You would– with unwavering truth, and unwavering compassion. Thank you for the reminder that you have not given me a ‘spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.’ (2 Timothy 1:7 New King James Version) Keep my mind focused on You and immune to fear. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!”

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Praying For Justice

There are a lot of unjust things in this world. And there are a lot of things that seem unjust to us, even when we know they will happen; even when we know they are part of God’s will.

Death seems unjust. So does disease. Poverty seems unjust. Natural disasters seem unjust. Yet they are the just consequence of sin. All have sinned; all must die. Sin causes an imbalance in God’s world– therefore, nature acts in ways that cause disasters and disease. Poverty stems from many sources– greed, laziness, theft– and while some of them may be caused by our own sin, many of the causes stem from the sin of others. And justice is usually beyond our ability to exact.

It is deep in the human heart to cry out for “justice.” But most of the time, we only want what we think is fair or proper from our own outlook. And we want it “NOW!” We want things to be simple and convenient. We want to be justified. We want to be “right” and to be “rewarded” for being so.

Jesus told an interesting parable in the book of Luke. It concerns a widow who was denied justice by a corrupt judge. Even though her case had merit, he would not hear it. He was not interested in giving her justice. But she persisted. She finally annoyed him so much that he gave her what was rightfully hers.

18 And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. 2 He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. 3 And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ 4 For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’” 6 And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge says. 7 And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? 8 I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”
Luke 18: 1-8 (ESV)

Jesus does not mean to imply that God is like the unjust judge. God does not close His ears to our cries for justice; But He also does not see our situation from our point of view. God WILL allow our loved ones to die. He may hear our prayers for temporary healing, but He will not prevent us from all grief or loss. And we may have to live through disease, poverty, and other circumstances that seem unfair or unjust– at least for a while.

Jesus is reminding his disciples (and US!) that God not only hears our prayers, but He cares about our needs, and He hates injustice even more than we do. God will not just act reluctantly to bring about justice for one widow. God will end the sting of death, the corruption of sin, and the need to cry out for justice once and for all. And even in this life, He can and often will give us miraculous answers to our problems with injustice. But there is a caution at the end of this parable. Do we have faith? I don’t mean the kind of faith that hopes and wishes that everyone in a particular situation will “get what is coming to them.” Nor is He talking about a faith that says, “God helps those who help themselves.” Rather, Jesus is talking about a faith that lifts up a situation to Him, knowing that He– and He alone– WILL keep His promises in His time and in His fashion. The kind of faith that can rest secure in knowing that “HE WILL DO IT!”

Are you trusting for justice today? Are you still waiting? Don’t stop praying. But more importantly, don’t stop believing!

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“Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep…”

When I was still a young child, and a new believer in Christ, I learned this bedtime prayer:


“Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the LORD my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake;
I pray the LORD my soul to take.”

I didn’t use this bedtime prayer every night; my parents taught me to say more personal prayers, whether at bedtime or throughout the day. In fact, I found this prayer to be somewhat morbid– praying about death before lying down for sleep. Still, it was an easy prayer to learn, with its rhyme scheme and easy rhythm.

As an adult, I look at this prayer from a very different perspective. I learned it from books, which had included it from revisions of earlier books, including old Mother Goose rhymes. The prayer (or a version of it) dates back to the 17th century https://www.dailyeffectiveprayer.org/now-i-lay-me-down-to-sleep-prayer/, and I imagine the thought of dying in the night was far more persistent than it is now for most children. This prayer offered comfort, not just about one’s own death, but the sudden death of a baby brother or sister, or the death of a neighbor, or one’s parent. Death, which often came in the night, was not to be feared, because God was bigger than both the night and the grave.

But as a adult, I also appreciate the simple trust that is expressed in such a short prayer. I often find myself at night fretting and praying about details and issues that I have tried to rationalize or “fix” in my own power. This prayer puts things in perspective– I pray the LORD my soul to keep. Basically, I lay everything, including my very soul, into God’s hands. Thus, I CAN “lay me down to sleep,” rather than stay up reciting a litany of little worries about which I can do nothing, or have already done what I could.

“If I should die before I wake…” The older I get, the more this line resonates. Not that I believe I am at death’s door, or anything, but death is less of a “monster under the bed” sort of concept than it was as a child. Death is a reality, and yet I can trust God to “take” my soul, snatching it out of the grave and raising me to eternal life with Him. Not because I know better than I did as a five-year-old, or because I have done “good” things over the past half-century and more– but because God said so in His Word, and I can trust Him to do what He says. Just like I learned to do when I was five!

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Anywhere…

Anywhere! Anywhere!
Fear I cannot know;
Anywhere with Jesus I can safely go!

I was reading in the Psalms the other day, and I fell on one of my favorites, Psalm 139:

 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.

Psalm 139: 1-12 (ESV)

This portion of the Psalm speaks of God’s Omnipresence. But often, when I read it, I read it from a negative viewpoint. It speaks of hiding from the Lord…it is impossible to escape the Lord’s presence and His omnipotence. I cannot hide my thoughts or deeds or feelings from God’s all-seeing, all-knowing presence. And this is a good thing in the end. But what about when I am not trying to escape from God, but some other threat– guilt, pain, heartbreak, or even death?

God’s omnipresence is also a metaphysical reality in a very positive sense. I cannot stray outside of God’s presence. He will not remove it from me; He will not hide from me. He will never send me into ANY situation where He is NOT already there, and where He will NOT be with me.

I know this. But I needed a reminder today. God will be with me on my best days, and on my worst. He will be with me in sickness or depression, or celebration and strength. He will be with me whether I am “alone” or surrounded by strangers. He will be with me in the darkness where I can’t see anything, as well as in the blinding bright lights of an operating room, or the eerie haze of a foggy morning.

Wherever I am, God is figuratively holding my hand; He is hemming me in all around. I am protected and supported by His Almighty Right Hand. When I am tempted to doubt– He is there! When I am distracted by the din of other voices– He is there! When I have turned my back on Him– He is STILL there; waiting for me to turn back!

I don’t know where I will have to go today. It may be to the grocery store; it may be halfway across the world…I may be called to do unexpected things, to go in an unexpected direction, to turn a frightening corner or face an unknown foe. But I can go anywhere with confidence– not in MY wisdom or abilities or strength– God is WITH me. God goes BEFORE me and BEHIND me. God is OVER me and UNDER me, and all AROUND me.

Recently, there was a news story about a submarine with passengers who were going to visit the wreck of the Titanic. Tragically, the submarine failed and their lives were lost. Just like the passengers over 100 years earlier, they were far from any human help. But God was there. I don’t know if any of the passengers were believers, but if they were, they could face their last earthly hours in confidence and peace that passes human understanding– God was there. Even though their bodies were not saved from this tragedy, their spirits were never out of God’s reach; their hearts were never lost to God’s loving gaze.

May we rest in that assurance today. There is no place on Earth– or in or over or under the Earth!– where God does not watch over us. The going may not be pleasant. It may be dangerous or even deadly. But we– our soul; our spirit– can go anywhere without fear. We can face the transition from life to death with calm assurance. We can face the empty threats of Death and the Grave without flinching. We can face our fears, and defeat them, when we trust that God’s presence in constant and completely sufficient.

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Prayers of Protection

My husband and I just returned from a week-long vacation. We had a very nice time, just getting away for awhile, relaxing, doing some fishing, and enjoying nature. We like to travel, and we like to take the “back roads” and scenic routes. Even so, we pray for God’s protection as we travel.

Praying for “travel mercies” or safety as we travel is not a magical formula. We were not expecting that God would somehow grant us a problem-free trip. Prayer doesn’t change the possibility that we could be involved in an accident, or our car might break down, or we might be subject to bad weather or natural disaster (on that note, we are praying for those impacted by Hurricane Helene– both residents and travelers). Rather, praying for safety in our travels is an acknowledgement that God knows what the future holds, and we do not. God is able to protect us from harm in a miraculous way, if He so chooses. But He is also able to bring us THROUGH tough times and even disasters. Prayer reminds us that we are not the sole authors of our own circumstances.

Nor does prayer negate our obligation to practice safety–we obey the traffic laws, check to make sure the car is in good condition, we wear seatbelts, and pay attention to driving conditions. Prayer simply reminds us that we are not the sole authors of our circumstances. We expect certain outcomes, but God knows both the expected and the unexpected outcomes; we proclaim our trust in Him, no matter what.

So what happened on our vacation? Was it all smooth sailing (or driving in our case)? Not quite. Yet I believe that God answered our prayers and showed His faithfulness. We took our Jeep and drove almost 500 miles away from home without any major incident. We did have to “pump up” one of our tires, and we experienced some rough driving when we went “off road” due to a wrong turn we took. (We ended up on a designated trail for off-road vehicles, thinking it was a short-cut to a rocky beach!) And, just as we were entering our home town at the end of our trip, we witnessed (but were not involved) in a bad crash involving a vehicle fleeing from the police.

I believe that God was with us–not just because we had a good trip with minimal troubles, but because He has promised to never leave us! I know faithful Christians who have died in terrible car accidents. Two years before I was born, my mother and grandmother almost died in an auto accident. God was still with them! Someone once asked me to think about all the “close calls” and even unknown dangers that none of us can see–We have no idea how many times over we “should” have died or “might” have faced grave dangers. In fact, on another vacation a few years ago, we were within 30 miles of home when we hit a deer. No one was hurt, but it could have been a disaster. The accident that injured my mother was along a route that she drove every day. In fact, most accidents happen within 25 miles of home. How easy to pray for protection for a long trip into the unknown and forget to pray when we are traveling to church on Sunday or to the movies on Friday night! Yet God may have protected us from death a hundred times over in our lives without our knowledge. It is only when we see the frightening possibilities that we acknowledge the miracles of His protection in our lives.

It can be difficult to see the hand of God when a miracle doesn’t happen. When “good” people die or suffer extreme pain as the result of a freak accident. We want life to “make sense.” We want our plans to, well, go as planned. And it can be too easy to claim credit when things DO work out just the way we expected. God did not let bad things happen to other people because He didn’t love them. And He didn’t let David and I have a great vacation because He somehow loves us MORE than others, or because we are somehow “better” or “more deserving” of a good vacation.

God answers prayers of protection– not because He has to, and not always in the way we expect Him to–God’s ways are NOT our ways. But we can trust Him, and continue to pray for protection and mercy as we travel through each new day. He IS Faithful. He WILL not leave us to face the unknown alone.

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Praying in the Dark

(This post is an updated version of one that first appeared three years ago, during the COVID pandemic. I have updated a few of the references to reflect the change. There is still a lot of darkness and confusion in the world, but some of the sources have changed a bit.)

The past few days have been a dark place for me. I don’t mean that something horrible has happened, or that my life has been upended. But things seem dim and indistinct. Some things I took for granted turn out to be less than sure. Events have been chaotic and tinged with evil and sadness. The present economy seems far from certain, and rumors swirl around the upcoming elections. Many places around the world are at war, and there is violence, unrest, crime, and uncertainty nearly everywhere. Even traditionally “safe” institutions like the family and the Church are under constant attack. It is difficult to know who or what to trust– everything seems shadowed and indistinct.

I read a novel a while ago, set in the early days of World War II in London. Because of the threat of air raids from Germany, the people were required to “black out” their windows at night, and drive with no headlights. People who had driven or walked around the streets of London with confidence just weeks before were being injured or even killed because they could no longer trust the once familiar streets. Craters and rubble from bombing raids, or hastily built ditches and barricades; hidden dangers filled neighborhoods. And people could not count on streetlights, headlights, or lights in windows to guide them safely home. At the same time, thousands of people, fearing that the Germans would use deadly gas, were carrying around gas masks (just in case!), and leaving them on buses or at pubs or train stations, because they were unused to the extra responsibility. Suddenly, the gas mask they were depending on was lost, and all the extra preparation turned out to be useless, anyway.

It reminds me how often I would see people just a couple of years ago, getting ready to enter a store, only to return to their car for their required mask. Many people wore them “the wrong way:” others wore them for months longer than necessary. Still others wore the same mask for several days but failed to wash their hands. Some people stayed in their homes for weeks, even when they could have spent some time getting fresh air at a park or one their porch or stoop. Others took great risks going to stores where other customers were sick. And many workers had no choice but to report to work, knowing they would be exposed to COVID. Many people refused to get the vaccines once they became available, while others were demanding that everyone had to get the vaccine or be charged with a crime. No one was sure if they were “safe”– even with masks, vaccines, and other protocols. It was a very dark time.

Hard times and difficult situations can cause us to shift our focus and have to learn new routines–even new vocabulary! At certain times, life almost seems “normal.” At others, we seem to be tossed by every new wave that comes along. It can be easy to lose one’s way in the fog and darkness of chaos and changing times.

The Psalmist and King, David, had words of wisdom for times like these: “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” (Psalm 119: 105 KJV)

Even when things seem dark and it feels like I’ve lost my way, God is right beside me. If I have no other “light” to see by, God’s word will be enough to guide me on. When I pray– even in the dark–God sees me clearly, and knows the way ahead.

Photo by Pat Whelen on Pexels.com

And I needed to be reminded of that again this week.

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Intelligent Fools

The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”
    They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds;
    there is none who does good.

Psalm 14:1 (ESV)

Only fools say in their hearts, “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, and their actions are evil;
not one of them does good!

Psalm 53:1 (NLT)

One thing that seems to surprise many intellectuals is the discovery that other intellectuals are Christians! There is a certain class of thinkers who believe that only ignorant people “need” to believe in God. Many of them posit that the concept of “god” is outdated and primitive, steeped in superstition, and unnecessary for anyone. Others claim that any belief in a supreme deity, a Sovereign God who has authority over all humankind, and all of nature, is actually dangerous

If God could be discovered by intellect alone, this might be disturbing for those of us who are not certified “geniuses.” If mere knowledge about God could save us, we could trust intellectuals to be our “saviors” and spiritual guides. But just because someone is intelligent and learned doesn’t mean that they have attained wisdom. Wisdom is a gift of God, and it begins with acknowledging a simple fact– God exists. This does not come automatically with knowledge about God–such knowledge can be dismissed, twisted, and even lost. If God exists– not just as a concept or a long-lost myth–certain other truths must be acknowledged. Chief among these is the truth that I am NOT God.

Fools come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and intellects. There are people of limited intellectual capacity who are very wise. There are intelligent people who live as fools. Foolishness comes when we deny God– whether we deny His very existence, or His authority over our lives– and live as though we are the supreme authority in our own lives.

“The Fool says in his HEART, ‘There is no God.'” Foolishness doesn’t begin in the brain. It begins in the heart. The more I believe that I KNOW better than others–including God–the less I will listen to instruction, advice, and wisdom. The more I will do what I want– and justify it, even if others get hurt. The Apostle Paul–no intellectual slouch himself– warns us in 1 Corinthians 8:1 that “Knowledge puffs up..” Not all intellectuals are snobs, but it is easy to become hardened to others if they believe they know more or better than everyone they meet. And Paul’s warning is to believers! Just because we believe that God exists, we can be foolishly puffed up by our very knowledge of scripture, and ignore God’s sovereign call to love our neighbors! We can be foolish “Christians” who acknowledge that Christ exists, but deny His Lordship in our lives.

There are many intelligent Atheists. Some of them lead moral lives, and do many things that we might see as “good.” They give to charities, advocate for healthful living, a clean environment, and world peace. So why does the Bible use such strong language to denounce them as fools, who are corrupt and even abominable? Doesn’t God see their good works? Doesn’t God give them “credit” for doing the “right” things (sometimes more than their Christian neighbors!)?

God sees us from a different perspective– He looks on the heart. The heart of someone who denies God is the heart of someone in rebellion. It may be a quiet rebellion; it may be vocal and even violent. But once a person denies the very one who created her/him, their heart is corrupted and opposed to giving God His proper place. Even “good” deeds done in defiance of the God of all goodness will become twisted by the selfishness and pride of the doers. The smartest among us may have many great ideas for achieving world peace, but they do not have the power to control all of humanity, nor the authority to force others to accept their “brilliant” ideas. In the end, they will either face disillusionment and despair, or they will become tyrannical in their efforts to “fix” the world’s problems according to their own plans.

God asks us, first and foremost, to trust Him. Second, we are to obey Him. Third, we are to live with, and love, others– to share the love and wisdom He gives! Fools may know about God, but they stop short of trusting Him, obeying Him, and learning to serve others. They deny His wisdom; they deny His Grace, and their need for it. They deny themselves the joy of relationship with the God of Love. There is nothing wrong with learning and intelligence– they, too, are gifts from God–but when we depend on them ahead of leaning on God’s wisdom, we become fools.

Father, I don’t want to be a fool. Help me to acknowledge You in everything I say and do. Help me to recognize Your wisdom, and cling to it. And help me to appreciate the wisdom of Your Word in guiding my intellect and learning.

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Our Advocate

I write often about praying for others. I sometime write about others praying. But I don’t often write about Jesus praying– except during His ministry on Earth. But Jesus continues to pray–without ceasing– for us in Heaven. (See Hebrews 7:25 and Romans 8:24). The Bible tells us that Christ is seated at the right hand of the Father and making intercession for us. Not only is He praying; He is praying FOR US.

Jesus didn’t just die to keep us out of Heaven and then move on and leave us to struggle on our own. Nor did He send the Holy Spirit to live with us so that He could sit down and do nothing. Jesus is still passionately advocating on your behalf– every minute!

And that is a great comfort in a world where we sometimes feel abandoned and friendless. Even if the whole world is lined up to do me great harm, Jesus is on my side. If you have trusted Him with your life, He is faithful to advocate for you– for your growth as a Christian; for your protection from the schemes of the Enemy; for abundant and productive LIFE for you, both now and through Eternity.

If you have not trusted Jesus as your LORD and Savior, He is still advocating– for another opportunity, for more time, for circumstances (good or bad) to help you seek (and FIND!) Him. For those who have not heard the Gospel, He is pleading with the Father (and sending the Spirit to urge believers) to open their eyes, ears, and hearts to God’s will and trust Him.

Jesus advocates on our behalf because of His great Love and Compassion. We don’t deserve to have someone else plead our case before the Righteous Throne of God. And we are not qualified to plead our own case– we are guilty in the sight of a perfectly Holy God.

“But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” Hebrews 5:8-11 ESV

You will never, NEVER pray alone! And who better to have as a prayer partner than the very Son of God Himself! He is our Savior, our Champion, and our Advocate!

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“I Hate Waiting…”

One of my favorite characters from “The Princess Bride” is Inigo Montoya. He has a few redeeming qualities– he is a loyal friend; he is intensely (obsessively) loyal to his father’s memory; he is basically honest; and he has a soft spot for lost causes, including a tender-hearted giant and a (mostly) dead pirate/rival/would-be hero.

But Inigo has many failings, as well. He is a drunkard, he lacks the skills to plan great achievements, and he has an over-developed sense of revenge that gets him in a lot of trouble. Also, he hates waiting. And he has done a lot of it– he’s waited over 20 years to track down his father’s killer and challenge him to a duel (the above-mentioned revenge).

When he first meets Westley (the above-mentioned pirate/rival/would-be hero), Westley is climbing a treacherous cliff. Inigo waits at the top as Westley struggles up the rocky crag, trying not to fall to his death. Inigo, ever concerned, calls down to ask how it’s going. He wants to know if Westley can “a-speed things up.” He REALLY hates waiting. Later, as he seeks to rescue Westley, he is told that he must wait at least 15 minutes for the magic potion to work and for Westley to regain consciousness. Inigo is delighted when Westley can talk and move his head a little, but he cannot wait for Westley to regain the use of his arms or legs before “storming the castle!”

Not many of us enjoy waiting. Some of us are better at it than others. And it is a character quality that God asks us to develop. Several times in the Bible, God asks us to “wait” or “wait on the LORD.”

When we pray, it is tempting to expect or even demand an immediate, clear answer. If we don’t get it, we fall into two temptations. The first is to despair and/or lose faith. If God doesn’t “show up” right away, we are tempted to believe that He just isn’t listening or doesn’t care about our situation. As time goes by, we may become bitter, angry, sullen, and depressed. We stop calling out to God; we turn away and seek answers (or escape) elsewhere.

The second temptation, the one I believe Inigo falls into, is to stop depending on God and carry the burden of our pain, our grief, or our situation all by ourselves. Inigo’s father was killed when he was eleven years old–his entire adult life has been wasted on a quest to avenge his father’s death. He hasn’t developed a life of his own– he has no career (he does odd jobs for crooks like Vizzini), no family, no plans for a sustained future– only his anger and bitterness over a twenty-year-old tragedy. And only when, in desperation, Inigo pauses for a moment and prays, does he find any real help in achieving his goals. In fact, at the end of the story, when Inigo finally achieves his revenge on Count Rugen, he is left with a dilemma. He admits to Westley that he has no idea what to do with the rest of his life! He has allowed the past to consume both his present and his future.

Another story that illustrates this temptation is the story of King Saul. In 1 Samuel 13, Saul has begun to attack the enemies surrounding Israel. He and his troops are hiding in caves and waiting for the prophet Samuel to offer a sacrifice and seek God’s counsel. The enemy is camped nearby with thousands of troops and chariots, and Saul’s men are beginning to panic and desert him. When Samuel doesn’t come at the appointed time, Saul disobeys God’s law by offering the sacrifices himself, even though he is not of the priestly line. Instead of standing firm, and encouraging his men, Saul gives in to the general panic and takes matters into his own hands. He takes a visible action — offering the sacrifice– without taking the right attitude of seeking God’s counsel.

Waiting can be difficult– especially when we are faced with fear, anxiety, danger, and lack of plan or purpose. But learning to wait for God’s ways and timing will teach us how to grow in Faith and confidence. Today, instead of asking God to “a-speed things up,” may we thank Him for all the times He has been faithful in the past, and trust that He will “arrive” at just the right time!

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When God Is In the Shadows

(SPOILER ALERT)– this post is about The Lord of the Rings and contains many references to plot devices. If you have not read the books or seen the movies, you will be confused and the narrative will be spoiled..

It’s no secret that I am a big fan of the Lord of the Rings by J.R.R.Tolkein. I’ve read through the trilogy several times, and I love to watch the movie version, as well. Even though it is a fantasy story, many of the situations and lessons are “true.” We may not face orcs or dragons or undead ring-wraiths, but we do face difficult challenges, such as war, grief, confusion, and oppression. We WILL face difficulties in life; we need to face them with resolve, courage, wisdom, and action. We may not have to destroy the Ring of Power, but we may have to battle addictions, habits, and relationships that threaten to destroy us.

One of the elements of the Lord of the Rings that captured my imagination from the very first readings was the “fall” of the wizards, Gandalf and Saruman. Saruman, who is introduced as one of the council of “good” wizards, and a mentor/friend of Gandalf, seems like someone who will be able to help the Fellowship in their quest to destroy the Ring of Power. But Saruman has “fallen” under the thrall of the evil Sauron. Using one of the “seeing stones,” Saruman has seen into the Dark Lord’s plans, and has decided that his own wisdom and power are enough to equal those of Sauron. His “fall” is one of self-delusion and arrogance. And his fall is described in terms of color. Where once he was called Saruman the White (the color of light when all the colors come together), Saruman becomes a prism, reflecting all the colors, but broken up, diffused, and no longer giving a true light.

Gandalf’s “fall” in the chasm as he battles the demonic Balrog is both dramatic and unexpected. Coming on the heels of Saruman’s betrayal, it sends shockwaves through all of Middle Earth. It left me devastated. After all, Gandalf is wise, good, and powerful. Having read The Hobbit, it was comforting to have a familiar guiding force to lead this new “adventure.” It is his knowledge and encouragement that has provided leadership and stability for the Fellowship of the Ring. His sudden and tragic absence leaves a gaping hole and many questions. His is a literal “fall.” He falls into blackness– fire and shadow and utter silence.

It strikes me that the wizards of The Lord of the Rings are not unlike the gods and heroes we make for ourselves. We imagine God (and often human heroes, including pastors and other religious figures) as being benign old men, walking among us, offering just enough wisdom, power, and “magic” to entertain, enlighten, and encourage us. We listen for good advice (whether or not we actually take it!), and we take comfort in the fact that they seem to know all that is going to happen. Of course, the wizards in the books are not REALLY gods–they know many things, but they cannot see all ends; they have great power, but they cannot defeat Sauron on their own (nor successfully challenge him, as Saruman learns); they are not always where they say they will be when they said they would be there.

“You’re late, Gandalf!”
“A wizards is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”
(From the Fellowship of the Ring)

Not only is Gandalf “late” for Bilbo’s special party (according to Frodo), but he completely misses his meeting with Frodo and the other hobbits in Bree, due to circumstances beyond his control. And, when the company seems to need him most, he falls into the great chasm and they must flee to the Elves at Imladris. Galadriel offers some encouragement, but it is tinged with dire warnings. Saruman’s “fall” highlights his shortcomings– he can only “see” victory through compromise, deception, and the machinery of war. Everything about him becomes twisted and sullied. In the books, he ends up being a two-bit tyrant, defeated in his attempt to take over the Shire. In the movies, he “falls” from his tower of Orthanc and sinks into the stinking pools festering around his ruined ambitions.

What about our visions and expectations of God? Sometimes, it seems as though He is “late” or “absent” in the midst of our difficulties. We want Him to come in and save the day– tell us exactly what to do next, or make an obstacle disappear, or bring a host of warriors to fight our battles. Other times, it seems as though our vision of God is seen through a prism…if God is really good, how could He let _______ happen? If God is really just, why is there still so much injustice around us? And what about others who follow a different “God.” Which one is real? Which one is “Right?” How can we know? In fact, those who follow Christ are following a God who faced betrayal and death– and He seemed to be defeated. And sometimes, it seems as though He has left us to the mercy of the evil that surrounds us.

God sometimes seems to be “fallen into shadow.” He seems to be absent. Or at least distant and silent. Just as in The Lord of the Rings, we can be left like the Fellowship– shocked, dismayed, left feeling lost and hopeless. Where is God in those moments?

But when I re-read the books, or when I sit down to binge-watch the movies –again– I find myself seeing things from a different perspective. Gandalf and Saruman both “fall” before even the middle of the story. Saruman’s betrayal seems not just tragic, but nearly insurmountable. Gandalf’s absence leads (indirectly) to the breaking up of the Fellowship into smaller, leaderless factions. But here’s what I see clearly in reflection– the Shadows that seem to swirl around the wizards are just that. They are shadows. There is darkness in the Land of Mordor. But Frodo and the rest of the Fellowship carry their own light. (Frodo, in fact, carries a literal light in his gift from Galadriel). They stay true to one another and true to their quest. As Sam points out at Osgiliath, they have had many chances of turning back and giving up, but they hold on to the hope that Good will win over Darkness, and Truth will defeat oppression and deceit, and yes, even the Ring of Power. Gandalf’s absence, while shocking and discouraging, is not permanent, nor is it devastating. It only seems so in the shadow of uncertainty and the chaos of war and suffering. The other members of the Fellowship actually develop their character, their strengths, and their gifts when Gandalf isn’t there to make things easier. He has already given them the wisdom they need– even if they don’t realize it. Gimli and Legolas become a team as their unlikely friendship develops. Merry and Pippin mature into warriors and diplomats. Aragorn becomes the King he was always destined to be. Frodo and Sam–unaware of Gandalf’s victory until the very end, still face all their dangers, including betrayal by Gollum, and save all of Middle Earth!

And so it is with our difficulties. We are looking around for help, wondering how we will continue if God is in the shadows; if God remains silent. We want to see His hand moving the chess pieces, or hear His voice calling out our next step. When we don’t hear it, we can make bad choices– we can give up hope, compromise with the enemy, or trust in our own power to see us through–or we can stay true to His Word and keep running the good race (see 2 Timothy 4:7-8) God does not abandon us– unlike the wizards, He is omniscient and omnipresent– but sometimes He stays in the shadows, knowing that it is for our development and maturity. I don’t have certainty about my choices and my actions, but I have the Bible and I have the Holy Spirit.. I have prayer. And I have the people God sends into my life to give advice and encouragement. I may not know if I can trust even the advice of religious leaders, but I can compare their advice with what I read in God’s Word and what I see in their actions. When I read the Bible, I read about promises God made to the nation of Israel– promises He kept. I read in Ezekiel, and Daniel, and again in Matthew and Revelation about His promises for the end of the ages.

It may look dark for the characters in The Lord of the Rings as they battle their way through Middle Earth. But I DO know how the story ends! I know that Gandalf does not stay in the shadows– he comes back more powerful than ever! And Saruman’s army of orcs is defeated; Saruman’s poisonous plot to usurp the mind and will of King Theoden is discovered and the king restored to health. And the Fellowship (excepting Boromir) is reunited after Frodo and Sam are successful in destroying the Ring. And I may not know the next step in my own story, but I know how my story will end! God may seem to be AWOL or “in the shadows” during my current circumstances– in my grieving, struggling, and pain. I may not see justice and peace in my near future– I may not see them in my lifetime– but I can KNOW that God is never late. He is never too early. He will arrive precisely when He means to. No shadow will be able to hide Him; no darkness will be able to comprehend Him. He will come in the blazing light of His Glory– and He will come to make all things new!

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