Free to Forgive

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” (Matthew 6:12)

Imagine being a prisoner and being told that you were free to leave! Now imagine someone refusing to leave their prison cell, and choosing to stay locked up! Why would anyone do such a thing? And yet, there are stories of prisoners who have been freed– some of them found innocent of the crimes for which they were being held–who cannot seem to adjust to freedom.

For some, the issue is legal. Even though they have been exonerated, or have served out their sentence, they still face legal consequences–even if their conviction was overturned, or their sentence fulfilled, they still wear the tag of “convicted felon.” Their record, even if legally overturned, still hangs over their head when they apply for jobs, try to register to vote, or attempt to establish credit. For most, however, the issue is psychological. They still wear the imaginary label, “guilty.” “Not fit for freedom.” “Incorrigible.” And often, society does nothing to remove those labels, but rather reinforces the idea that once found guilty, a person can never redeem their life or legacy.

As Christians, we have been given a full pardon for our sins– regardless of whether we have spent time in a physical prison or not. We are free! But we can continue to live as though we are in prison– and worse, we can continue to put ourselves in a prison of unforgiveness toward others.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) God does not keep us in a prison of guilt and shame. He is faithful to forgive us, redeem us, and renew our mind and spirit. But part of that cleansing involves letting go of our “right” to hold grudges and cling to old hurts and bitterness toward others. God is faithful to forgive US; He is also faithful to act with justice on our behalf. In forgiving others, we are not denying the justice we deserve. And in forgiving us, God does not deny justice to those whom we have hurt!

God wants to give us true freedom– freedom from guilt and freedom from the burden of injustice. HIS shoulders are big enough to offer both– perfect freedom, and perfect justice. We are allowed to be free of both burdens when we trust God to take care of it all. And we are allowed to walk out of the prison of guilt, shame, bitterness, anger, vengeance, pride, self-righteousness, and self-loathing.

Let’s face it– we have all sinned. All of us have said or done things that have hurt others. We may not know the extent of the damage our words and actions have done, just as others may not be aware of how they have hurt us. And “hurting” people often hurt others in reaction. Jesus paid the price for our sins when He offered Himself on Calvary. His sacrifice stops the cycle of “unavenged” hurt.

Sin still continues to hurt us. Forgiveness doesn’t seek to pretend that what happened never happened, or that it didn’t matter, or that our hurt isn’t real and tragic. But forgiveness allows us to walk out of the prison of living with the label “victim” or “convict” that Sin slaps on our forehead or in our heart. It allows us to breathe the free air of God’s grace and the hope of a joyful, productive, courageous future!

Victims and Victors

My husband and I own a small retail business.  Last winter, we were victimized by shoplifters.  They stole several items, worth over $1,000.  The same couple stole items from other businesses in the area.  The police investigated, compared descriptions of the suspects, traced their movements, and got an arrest warrant.  The couple fled, and it took months to find them and bring them into custody.  They have been arrested, and we have been to court for a preliminary hearing, with another potential court date in about a month.

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The court sent us a long series of papers to fill out, including a victim impact statement, where we were to describe how the suspect’s alleged actions impacted us personally, as well as how our business was damaged.  Even though this was not a personal crime (we weren’t physically threatened or harmed, or specifically targeted with an intent to ruin our business), there are still scars–distrust, fear, frustration, and loss, to name a few.  Just because a crime isn’t personal, doesn’t mean that no one suffers.  It has been an awkward process to write out the victim statement, and to appear in court and recount all that happened that day, but it has also been a good process.

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Being a victim is not a pleasant experience.  It is frightening, humiliating, maddening, and bewildering.  “How could this have happened?”  “Why did it happen to me/us?”  “What did I/we do wrong?”  These are honest questions that go unanswered.  But the biggest question may be “Where was God when this happened?”  Didn’t he know?  Didn’t he care?  Why didn’t he act to stop this crime?  Why did he allow it to touch us?

In the months since this happened, I’ve learned to ask some other questions of God–

  • What other “bad” things have you kept from us without our knowledge?  What good things have you showered on us that we took for granted?
  • Who else has suffered the same or worse things– how can I reach out with empathy or understanding?
  • Where are people suffering without justice?  Even though we have had a long wait, we know that the police and court system have been working for us.  Where are people living who suffer without hope, in silence, and in fear of seeking help?
  • What can we learn from this experience?  How can we make our store and our community “safer”?  How can we heal, and bring justice instead of wallowing in hurt or seeking revenge?

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God has a plan, even in times of trial and questioning.  We all will be victims at some point in our life–of injustice, of crime, of disease, of poverty, of losses, of disaster, and of sin’s consequences– our own sins and the sins of others.  We can also be victors, through the power of the Holy Spirit.  We can overcome bitterness and addiction; we can triumph through cancer, depression, or heartbreak; we can rise above setbacks and circumstances; we can choose forgiveness and healing over hatred and self-sabotage.  We can move from being perpetual victims to eternal victors, through Jesus Christ our Lord!

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